六年级英语笑话
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六年级英语小笑话故事精选六年级英语小笑话故事精选笑话是现代社会发展最快的一种口头文学体裁,它体现了某一民族行为中最深刻的和潜意识中的观点。
我整理了六年级英语小笑话故事,欢迎阅读!六年级英语小笑话故事篇一"How did you make your fortune?"“你是怎么计划你的将来的?”"I became the partner of a rich man.He had the money and I had the experience."“我变成一个富人的合伙人,他有钱,我有经验。
”"How did that help?"“那有什么用?”"Now he has the experience and I the money."“现在他有经验了,我有钱。
”六年级英语小笑话故事篇二One day in class, the teacher assigned his students to write a composition – if I Am aManager.一天课上,老师要同学们以“如果我是一个经理”为题写一篇作文。
All the students began to write except a boy. The teacher went to him and asked the reason.所有的学生都在动笔写了,只有一个男生例外。
老师走过去问他为什么不写。
“I am waiting for my secretary,” was the boy’s answer.“我在等我的秘书”。
那孩子答道。
六年级英语小笑话故事篇三All I do is pay我要做的一切就是付钱"My family is just like a nation," Mr. Brown told his colleague. "My wife is the minister of finance,my mother-in-law is the minister of war, and my daughter is foreign secretary."布朗先生告诉同事说:“我的家简直就象一个国家一样。
六年级英语笑话笑话就像生活这杯浓咖啡里点缀的方糖不经意间有人开始沿街叫卖。
下面是店铺带来的六年级英语笑话,欢迎阅读!六年级英语笑话篇一NO Sweat!不费吹灰之力There were four passengers in the small aircraft as it sputtered over the Andes; a businessman, an inventor, a priest and a laid -back budget traveller.一架正飞越安第斯山脉的小飞机上坐着四名乘客:一名商人,一名发明家,一位神父和一个靠预算过日子、看起来懒懒散散的旅行者。
Suddenly the pilot entered the cabin and told them the horrible news: "Gentlemen, the plane is going down. I'm going to try to crash-land it, but you must all jump. "突然,驾驶员走进舱告诉他们可怕的消息:“各位先生,这架飞机正失控下降中,我要设法迫降,但你们必须先跳下飞机。
”Naturally, the men were horrified。
and even more so when they discovered that there were only three parachutes.当然,那几个人都吓得目瞪口呆,尤其是当他们发现只有三个降落伞可以使用时,更是心惊胆战。
The businessman said, "Sirs, I employ thousands of people. Their lives and those of their families depend on me. I think you'll agree that I must survive. " He promptly put on a parachute and leaped.那名商人说道:“各位先生,我雇用好几千名员工,他们都要靠我养家活口,我想你们都同意我必须活着回去。
“I'm sorry ,Madam ,but I shall have to charge you twenty dollars for pullingyour boy's tooth .”“Twenty d ollars! Why ,I understand you to say that you charged only fourdollars for such work!”“Yes,but this youngster yelled so terribly that he scared four other patients out ofthe office .”“对不起,夫人,为您孩子拔牙我要收取20美元。
”“20美元!为什么?不是说好只要4美元。
”“是的,但是你的孩子大喊大叫,把另外四个病人吓跑了。
”The hare and the tortoiseThe hare was once boasting of his speed before the other animals. "I have neverbeen beaten," he said, "when I run at full speed, no one is faster than me."The tortoise said quietly, "I will race with you." "That is a good joke," said the hare."I could dance around you the whole way."The race started. The hare darted almost out of sight at once. He soon stopped andlay down to have a nap.The tortoise plodded on and on. When the hare awoke from his nap, he saw thetortoise was near the finish line, and that he had lost the race.兔子向动物们夸耀他的速度,“我从来没有失败过,”他说,“当我奔跑时,没有人比我更快。
关于六年级英语小笑话带翻译篇一There was once a wife so jealous that when her husband came home one night and she couldn’tfind hairs on his jackets she yelled at him," Great, so now you're cheating on me with a baldwoman!"从前有个妻子醋劲很大。
一天晚上丈夫回家,她没有从他衣服上找到头发,于是大叫:“好啊,现在你开始和秃头的女人骗我了!”The next night, when she didn’t smell any perfume, she yelled again by saying, "She’s not onlybald, but she’s too cheap to buy any perfume!"第二天晚上,她没有从丈夫衣服上闻到香水味,于是又大叫:“她不但是个秃头,而且很穷酸,连香水都不买。
”关于六年级英语小笑话带翻译篇二Two Americans laid a wreath on a comrade's grave and saw, nearby, a Japanese laying rice onthe grave of a countryman. One American asked, "When do you expect your comrade to comeand eat that rice?"两个美国人在一个朋友的墓前献上鲜花,这时他们看到附近一个日本人在朋友的墓前放了一些米饭。
一个美国人问道:“你觉得你的朋友什么时候能来吃这些米饭呢?”The Japanese replied, "When your friend comes to smell his flowers."日本人答道:“当你的朋友来闻这些花香的时候。
英语笑话带翻译20字爆笑的冷笑话不同于一般笑话,它以其独特的制笑机制,能瞬间创造出一种特殊的氛围。
店铺整理了20字爆笑的英语笑话带翻译,欢迎阅读! 20字爆笑的英语笑话带翻译一谈话First woman:"Working full time and trying to do the housework really gets to me. After work yesterday I came home and washed the clothes and the dishes. Tomorrow I have to wash the kitchen floor and the front windows..."第一个妇女:“工作一整天后还要做家务,可真够我受的。
你看,我回家后要洗衣服、洗碗。
明天,我还要擦洗厨房的地板和前门的窗户……”Second woman:"What about your husband?"第二个妇女:“那你丈夫呢?”First wo man:"Absolutely not! He can wash himself.”第一个妇女:“他绝不用我洗,他自己会洗。
”20字爆笑的英语笑话带翻译二神童I taught a "gifted and talented"class made up of particularly bright fifth-and-sixth graders. In the midst of a lesson on the power of observation, I realized that I was wearing two different styles of shoes. Trying to be as inconspicuous as possible,I moved behind my desk and concluded the lesson from there,thankful that the students didn't seem to have noticed.我教的一个“高智商”班的学生全都是五六年级里挑出来的。
英语笑话简短【英语笑话】篇一:英文幽默笑话1.猫和老鼠——Mrs Brown went tovisit one of her friend andcarried a small box withholes punched in the top.——“ What's in yourbox?" asked the friend.——"A cat," answered Mrs Brown. "You see I've been dreaming about mice at night and I'm so scared! This cat is to catch them."—— "But the mice are only imaginary," said the friend.——"So is the cat," whispered Mrs Brown.布朗夫人去拜访一位朋友,她拿着一个顶部扎满了小眼儿的盒子。
“盒子里装的是什么?”朋友问道。
“一只小猫,”布朗夫人回答说,“你知道我晚上睡觉总梦见老鼠,我非常害怕。
这只猫可以抓住那些老鼠。
”“可老鼠都是假想的呀。
”朋友说。
“小猫也是假想的。
”布朗夫人小声说道。
2.Reached Shore Fast 快速靠岸A guy I know wastowing his boat homefrom a fishing trip to LakeHuron when his car brokedown. He didn't have his cell phone with him, but he thought maybe he might be abletoraise someone on his marine radio to call for roadside assistance. He climbed into his boat, clicked on the radio and said, "Mayday, mayday." A Coast Guard officer came on and said, "State your location.""I-75, two miles south of Standish." After a very long pause, the officer asked, "How fast were you going when you reached shore?"在休伦湖钓完鱼后,我的一个朋友开车拖着他的船回家。
英语幽默笑话集锦笑话1:鸡蛋的问题小明问小华:“你怎么知道一个鸡蛋是生的还是熟的?”小华:“很简单,我把鸡蛋放进水里,如果浮起来就是生的,如果沉下去就是熟的。
”小明:“那如果鸡蛋半浮半沉呢?”小华:“那就是半生不熟。
”笑话2:打电话小明用英语给外国朋友打电话:“Hello! Is it Mr. Brown’s residence?”外国朋友说:“I’m sorry, you have the wrong number.”小明再打一次:“Hello! Is it Mrs. Brown’s residence?”外国朋友愤怒地说:“No, I told you already, you have the wrong number!”小明再打一次:“Hello! Is it Mr. Brown’s residence?”外国朋友非常生气:“I can’t believe you called me again! This is not Mr. Brown’s residence!”小明笑着说:“I know, but I just love hearing you say it!”笑话3:父亲的损失小明的父亲对他说:“小明,你知道我为什么戴假发吗?”小明好奇地问:“为什么呢?”父亲严肃地回答:“因为我是个有发言权的人。
”笑话4:天堂和地狱有一天,人们来到上帝面前询问天堂和地狱的存在。
他们问上帝:“天堂和地狱是什么样子的?”上帝微笑着回答:“我带你们去看一看。
”首先,上帝打开了通向地狱的门。
门一打开,他们看到里面是一个宴会厅,摆满了美食和饮料,但每个人手中都拿着又长又粗的筷子,无法把食物送入嘴中。
接着,上帝带着他们去了天堂。
天堂的门打开后,他们看到了和地狱一样的情景,宴会厅里也是美食和饮料满满,每个人同样手中拿着又长又粗的筷子。
但人们却高兴地吃得很满足,因为在天堂里,他们都学会了相互喂食。
笑话5:自动售货机小明走到一个自动售货机前,看见上面写着:“请用英语选择您要购买的商品。
英语笑话大全1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!2. Why did the bicycle fall over?Because it was two-tired!3. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!4. What do you call a bear with no teeth?A gummy bear!5. Why don’t skeletons fight each other?They don’t have the guts!6. Why did the tomato turn red?Because it saw the salad dressing!7. What do you call a fish with no eyes?Fsh!8. Why did the chicken go to the seance?To talk to the other side!9. What do you call fake spaghetti?An impasta!10. Why don’t scientists trust atoms?Because they make up everything!11. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?Frostbite!12. What did the grape say when it got stepped on?Nothing, it just let out a little wine!13. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?In case he got a hole in one!14. What did one wall say to the other wall?I'll meet you at the corner!15. Why was the math book sad?Because it had too many problems!16. Why did the scarecrow win an award?Because he was outstanding in his field!17. What did one hat say to the other hat?You stay here, I'll go on ahead!18. What do you call a bear with no teeth and no ears?Anything you want, it can't hear you!19. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?Frostbite!20. Why don’t scientists trust atoms?Because they make up everything!以上是一些英语笑话,希望你能喜欢!。
4.上次不知道是什么事情把我惹怒了,情急之下我本来要说: FUCK YOU!! 但是却说成FUCK ME!!! 那来外开始愣了一下, 后来他说: u wanna say fuck me ?? OR fuck you?? 晕...我连吵架的气势都没了.5.有个老外到唐山去旅游,住在当地一户农家里,早上起来,看见院子里有只猫,就逗猫玩,这时候这户人家的老太太出来了,就说:鼓捣猫呢?老外还以为是问早上好,于是就回了一句“Good morning!”到了晚上,老太太又看见这老外又在洗衣服,就说:鼓捣衣服呢?老外赶紧又回答一句“Good evening!”心里真佩服,中国人厉害,连老太太英语都说的这么好!深夜,老外泡了一杯牛奶,准备喝完睡觉,又被老太太看见了,问老外:鼓捣奶呢?老外一听,连“Good night!”都会说,彻底晕菜。
中国人学英语全家死bus 爸死yes 爷死girls 哥死miss 妹死·nice 奶死Mars 妈死school 死光了老师在黑板上写了一句:Time is money.并让同学们翻译。
有名学生答道:“汤姆是玛丽。
”小明上英文课时跟老师说:May I go to the toilet?老师说:Go ahead.小明就坐了下来。
过了一会儿,小明又跟老师说:May I go to the toilet? 老师说:Go ahead.小明又坐了下来。
他旁边的同学于是忍不住问:你不是跟老师说要上厕所吗?怎么不去?小明说:你没听老师说「去你个头」啊!6.某日刘洪涛遇到外宾,上前搭话曰:I am hongtao liu,外宾曰:我TM还是方片七呢!7.英语老师问一个学生,“How are you是什么意思”学生想how是怎么,you 是你,于是回答“怎么是你?”老师生气又问另一个同学:“How old are you ?是什么意思?”这个同学想了想说:“怎么老是你。
”8.女:say“i love you”,say it,come on!say it!男:it!上初一的时候,英语老师让我们读课文,恰好是一段对话,于是叫了一男一女两个同学来读。
河南固始信合外国语小学 陈妮妮 编译English Jokes 英语笑话1. A toothbrush and a broom牙刷和扫帚甲:当这把牙刷老了的时候,它会变成什么呢?乙:一把扫帚。
A: What will the toothbrush become when it grows older?B: A broom.792. An automobile汽车甲:什么东西由10个字母组成,而且还靠汽油发动?乙:汽车。
A: What has ten letters and starts with gas?B: An automobile.3. Because the bed won 't come to you因为床不会到你这里来孩子:爸爸,我为什么要去床上睡觉?爸爸:因为床不会到你这里来。
Kid: Daddy, why do I have to go to bed?Dad: Because the bed won’t come to you.4. Tonight is the final game今晚是决赛一个男人晚上睡不着,所以他去看医生。
他对医生说:“医生,每天晚上我都在梦中踢足球。
”医生说:“吃这些药,它们会帮助你睡好的。
”男人说:“我不能接受它们,因为今晚是决赛。
”A man could not fall asleep at night, so he went to a doctor. He said to the doctor, “Doctor, every night in my dream I am playing soccer.”The doctor said, “Take these pills. They will help you sleep better.”The man said, “I can’t take them, as tonight is the final game.”5. Because there was extra time因为有加时赛汤姆是一名小学生。
六年级上册英语小笑话篇一A good friend of mine warned me that, as my three daughters became old enough to date,I'd disapprove of every young man who took them out. When the time came,I was pleased that my friend's prediction was wrong. Each boy was pleasant and well-mannered.我的一位好朋友告诫我说,等我的三个女儿长大了,最好不要让她们的任何男朋友带她们出去约会。
现在我的女儿们长大了,让我高兴的是情况不像我的那位朋友预料的那么糟。
我看见她们的男朋友都很懂礼貌,彬彬有礼。
Talking to my daughter Joanna one day,I said that I liked all the young men she and her sisters brought home.有一天,我和女儿琳娜聊天.我说我喜欢她和她两个姐姐带回家的男朋友们。
"You know, Dad,"she replied, "we don't show you everybody."她说:“你知道吗?爸爸,我们没有把所有的男朋友都带来让您看。
”六年级上册英语小笑话篇二As I sat with my pet in the veterinarian's waiting room,a woman and her old English sheepdog emerged from one of the examining rooms. The dog sat obediently while the woman asked for her bill. When told it was$80, she looked down at the dog and said,"Did you hear that? Get a job."我带着小狗等在兽医的侯诊室里,一位妇女和她的英国种牧羊狗从诊室里走出来。
英语笑话篇一:英文幽默笑话1.猫和老鼠——Mrs Brown went tovisit one of her friend andcarried a small box withholes punched in the top.——” What’s in yourbox?” asked the friend.——”A cat,” answered Mrs Brown. “You see I’ve been dreaming about mice at night and I’m so scared! This cat is to catch them.”——“But the mice are only imaginary,”said the friend.——”So is the cat,” whispered Mrs Brown.布朗夫人去拜访一位朋友,她拿着一个顶部扎满了小眼儿的盒子。
“盒子里装的是什么?”朋友问道。
“一只小猫,”布朗夫人回答说,“你知道我晚上睡觉总梦见老鼠,我非常害怕。
这只猫可以抓住那些老鼠。
”“可老鼠都是假想的呀。
”朋友说。
“小猫也是假想的。
”布朗夫人小声说道。
Shore Fast 快速靠岸A guy I know wastowing his boat homefrom a fishing trip to LakeHuron when his car brokedown. He didn’t have his cell phone with him, but he thought maybe he might be abletoraise someone on his marine radio to call for roadside assistance. He climbed into his boat, clicked on the radio and said, “Mayday, mayday.”A Coast Guard officer came on and said, “State your location.”“I-75, two miles south of Standish.”After a very long pause, the officer asked, “How fast were you going when you reached shore?”在休伦湖钓完鱼后,我的一个朋友开车拖着他的船回家。
六年级好笑的英语笑话及汉语:学会礼貌One day, Bill and Tom went to a restaurant for dinner. As soon as the waiter took out two steaks, Bill quickly picked out the bigger steak for himself.Tom wasn't happy about that: "When are you going to learn to be polite?"Bill: "If you had the chance to pick first, which one would you pick?"Tom: "The smaller piece, of course."Bill: "What are you whining about then? The smaller piece is what you want, right?"一天,比尔和汤姆去餐馆吃饭。
当服务员端上两份牛排时,比尔迅速地为自己拿了比较大的那块。
汤姆对此很不开心:“你什么时候能学会礼貌?”比尔说:“如果让你先拿,你会拿哪个?”汤姆说:“当然是小的那个。
”比尔:“那你还抱怨什么?小的那个不就是你想要的,不是吗?”六年级好笑的英语笑话及汉语:The Use of aHandsawAt the mall, my wife and I picked up some hardware items, including a handsaw. We were heading back to the car when we passed a steakhouse.Let's try it. " my wife suggested. Although I felt a little foolish carrying the saw, I followed her inside.Scanning the menu, my wife told the waitress, " I' 11 have chopped sirloin, please.The waitress turned to me, eyed my saw and commented, "And I see that. you, sir, have come for our T-bone special.在集市上,我和妻子买了一些五金用品,包括一个手锯。
关于六年级的英语笑话:Like an Old SaltThere's this fella with a parrot. And this parrot swears like an old salt, I mean he's a pistol. He can swear for five minutes straight without repeating himself. Trouble is, the guy who owns him is a quiet, conservative type, and the bird's foul mouth is driving him nuts.One day, it just gets to be too much and the guy grabs the bird by the throat, shakes him really hard, and yells, "QUIT IT!"But this just makes the bird mad and he swears more than ever.Then the guy gets angry and says, "OK for you," and locks the bird in a kitchen cabinet. This really aggravates the bird andhe claws and scratches, and when the guy finally lets him out, the bird cuts loose with a stream of vulgarities that wouldmake a sailor blush.At that point, the guy is so mad that he throws the bird into the freezer. For the first few seconds there is a terrible din.The bird kicks and claws and thrashes. Then it suddenly gets very quiet.At first the guy just waits, but then he starts to think that the bird may be hurt. After a couple of minutes of silence, he's so worried that he opens up the freezer door.关于六年级的英语笑话:A Bear and a RabbitA bear and a rabbit are taking a dump in the woods.The bear turns to the rabbit and asks, "Do you have a problem with shit sticking to your fur?"The rabbit says, "No, of course not!"So the bear wipes his ass with the rabbit!关于六年级的英语笑话:A Snail That Wanted to Buy a NissanThere once was a snail that wanted to buy a Nissan Z car.So, he went to a dealership and bought a car. "But," he said to the salesperson, "I would like my car personalized. Would it bepossible to have the "Z" replaced with an "S"?" The dealer said yes, and it was done.And, as the snail raced around the city in his brand new car, everyone would see, "Wow, look at that S-car-go."Take a stand on the important things in life!关于六年级的英语笑话:A Male Whale and a Female WhaleA male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast of Japan when they noticed a whaling ship. The male whale recognized it as the same ship that had harpooned his father many years earlier.Soon however, the whales realized the sailors had jumped overboard and were swimming to the safety of shore. The male was enraged that they were going to get away and told the female "lets swim after them and gobble them up before they reach the shore."关于六年级的英语笑话:The Dog's DutiesA nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children fell to discussing the dog's duties."They use him to keep crowds back," said one youngster."No," said another, "he's just for good luck."A third child brought the argument to a close. "They use the dogs," she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrant."。
关于六年级英语笑话大全Two hunters went moose hunting every winter without success. Finally, they came up with a foolproof plan. They got a very authentic female moose costume and learned the mating call of a female moose. The plan was to hide in the costume, lure the bull, then come out of the costume and shoot it. They set themselves up on the edge of a clearing, donned their costume, and began to give the moose love call.Before long, their call was answered as a bull came crashing out of the forest and into the clearing. When the bull was close enough, theguy in front said, "Okay, let’s get out and get him."After a moment that seemed like an eternity, the guy in the back shouted, "The zipper is stuck! What are we going to do?"The guy in the front said, "Well, I'm going to start nibbling grass, but you'd better braceyourself."This guy who owns a horse farm gets a call from a friend.The friend says, "I know this midget with a speech impediment who wants to buy a horse, and I'm sending him over."The midget arrives, and the owner asks him if he wants a male or female horse."A female horth," the midget replies. So the owner shows him one."Nith looking horth. Can I see her mouf?"So the owner picks up the midget and shows him the horse's teeth."Nith mouf, can I see her eyeth?"So the owner picks up the midget and shows him her eyes."OK, what about the earsth?"Now the owners is beginning to get a little pissed, but he picks up the midget one more time and shows him her ears."Okay, finally, I would like to see her twat."With that, the owner loses all patience, picks up the midget, and shoves his head up the horse's twat, then pulls him out.Shaking his wet head, the midget says, "Perhapth I should rephrase that. I would like to thee the horth run."A man walks into a bar with his dog and puts the dog on a barstool. The bartender asks the man what he wants to drink."I'll have a bourbon and Coke!"The man then turns to his dog and asks, "What are you going to have, Rover?""I'll have a Scotch and soda -- light on the soda," says Rover.The bartender is skeptical about the dog talking. "Come on," he says, "that dog can't talk -- you're a ventriloquist!""No, Rover can really talk! While I am in the restroom, you can have a conversation with him yourself -- but don't let him out of your sight. He is a very valuable dog."The man goes to the restroom. When he returns, the dog is gone."Hey, where's my dog? I told you not to let him out of your sight.""Aw, I didn't believe that Rover could talk, so I gave him a quarter and sent him to the drug store to buy me a paper.""Let's go look for him," said the man.The two went to the drugstore -- no Rover. They walked up and down nearby alleys and streets -- no dog! Finally, they found Rover in an alley on top of another dog, pumping away.Pointing his finger at Rover, the man says angrily, "How come you are doing this? You have never done this before!""First time I ever had any money!"A blind man is walking down the street with his seeing-eye dog one day. They come to a busyintersection, and the dog, ignoring the high volume oftraffic zooming by on the street, leads the blind man right out into the thick of traffic. This is followed by the screech of tires and horns blaring as panicked drivers try desperately not to run the pair down.The blind man and the dog finally reach the safety of the sidewalk on the other side of the street, and the blind man pulls a cookie out of his coat pocket, which he offers to the dog. Apasserby, having observed the near fatal incident, can't control his amazement and says to the blind man, "Why on earth are you rewarding your dog with a cookie? He nearly got you killed!"The blind man turns partially in his direction and replies, "To find out where his head is, so I can kick his ass."On the first day of creation, God created the dog.On the second day, God created man to serve the dog.On the third day, God created all the animals of the earth especially the horse to serve as potential food for the dog.On the fourth day, God created honest toil so that man could labor for the good of the dog.On the fifth day, God created the tennis ball so that the dog might or might not retrieve it.On the sixth day, God created veterinary science to keep the dog healthy and the man broke.On the seventh day, God tried to rest, but He had to walk the dog.感谢您的阅读,祝您生活愉快。
六年级英语小笑话带翻译Out-of-state friends of ours recently inherited several pieces of real estate which, unfortunately, are producing more taxes than income. When my wife invited thenn for a visit,back carne theresponse:"You know we'd love it. But right now we're just too property-stricken to go anywhere."我们外州的朋友最近继承了几块地产。
不幸的是几块地产给他们的不是收入,而是税款。
我妻子邀请他们来玩的时候,他们说:“你知道我们是很乐意去的。
但是,我们现在让对产压得哪儿也去不了了。
”My first waitressing job was in a coffee shop. We featured a lunch special called "Tuna Salad Surprise",a tuna sandwich served with soup and chips. When our sandwich maker didn't show up forwork one hectic Saturday,we had to prepare our own sandwiches.我做招待工作始于咖啡店。
我们有道午餐特餐叫“金枪鱼沙拉异奇”。
这个套餐实际上就是把金枪鱼三明治、汤、薯条技在一起吃.一个例霉竹星期六,我们那做特餐三明治的厨师没来上班,我们只好自己准备三明治。
A man sat down and ordered the special. I raced to the sandwich board,prepared the order,poured his coffee and rushed to the next customer. Later,as I delivered his check,he noted politelythat he had never. eaten a potato-salad sandwich before. Horrified at my mistake,I asked,”Why didn't you tell me it was potato salad instead of tuna?"一位男食客坐下来,要了这道特餐。
1、Teacher:Can you make a sentence with the word egg?Student:Yes.I ate a piece of cake yesterday.Teacher:Then where is the egg?Student:In the cake,Sir.2、A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson on logic. Here is the situation, she said. a man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yellin g for help. His wife hears the commotion, knows that he can't swim, and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank?A girl raised her hand and asked, to draw out all of his savings? 小学四年级的教师正在给学生们上一堂逻辑课。
她举了这么一个例子:有这样一种情况,一个男人在河中心的船上,突然失去重心掉进了水里。
于是他开始挣扎并喊救命。
他的妻子听到了他的喊声,知道他并不会游泳,所以她就急忙跑向河岸。
谁能告诉我这是为什么?一个女生举手答道,是不是去取他的存款?3、On the way home one night, I spotted some fresh-cut roses outside a florist's shop. After selecting a dozen and entering the shop, I was greeted by a young saleswoman. Are these for your wife, sir? she asked. Yes, I said.For her birthday? she asked.No, I replied. For your anniversary?No, I said again. As I pocketed my change and headed toward the door, the young woman called out, I hope she forgives you.4、Mike: My aunt was very embarrassed when she was asked to take off her mask at the party.Mary: Why was that?Mike: She wasn't wearing one.5、A three-year-old boy took a three-year-old girl's hand and said: "I love you." The little girl said: "can you get me for the future?" The little boy said: "of course can, we're not one or two years old!"6、 An old lady walked into a clothes shop.She asked the shop girl to let her have a look at a new drees.But the girl didn't say a word and she didn't move a little.The old lady asked the girl to herself,"I am too old to see well.I dont't know who is a model girl and who is a real girl."When she heard this,the real girl shouted at the old lady,"What?Did you call me a model one?"The old woman was very surprised."Oh,dear me."She said,"The model can speak.Then it must be a new kind of robot.7、Teacher:Wht can fishes only live in the water?Jack:Because there are lots of cats on the ground.cats on the ground 8、Policeman:I hope this is your last time.You know,I don'twant to see you here again.Thief:Why?Are you going to change you job?9、When my son was a high-school sophomore, he gota part-time job sacking groceries at a supermarket.He came home all smiles."How was your first day?" I asked."It was great, Dad," he replied. "I got to talk to somegood-looking girls."Since Stephen is not very talkative, I asked, "What did you say to them?""Do you prefer paper or plastic?"10、A lady lost her purse in the bustle of Christmasshopping. It was found by an honest little boy andreturned to her.Looking in her purse, she commented, "Hmmm...That's a funny. When I lost my bag there was a $20bill in it. Now there are twenty $1 bills."The boy quickly replied, "That's right, lady. The last time I found a lady's purse, she didn't haveany change for a reward."11、It was Christmas and the judge was in a benevolentmood as he questioned the prisoner. "What are youcharged with?" he asked."Doing my Christmas shopping early," replied thedefendant."That's no offense," replied the judge, "How early were you doing this shopping?”"Before the store opened," countered the prisoner.12、The preacher was vexed(生气的) because a certain member of hiscongregation(集合,聚会) always fell asleep during the sermon.As the man was snoring in the front row one Sunday, the preacher determined he would teach him not to sleep during the sermon. So, in a whisper, he asked the congregation. "All who want to go to heaven, please rise." Everyone got up except the snorer. After whispering "Be seated", the minister shouted at the top of his voiced, "All those who want to be with the devil, please rise."Awaking with a start , the sleepy-head jumped to his feet and saw the preacher standing tall and angry in the pulpit(讲道坛), "Well, sir," he said, "I don't know what we're voting on, but it looks like you and me are the only ones for it."牧师非常生气,因为总有一个人在他说教时打瞌睡。
一个星期天,正当坐在前排的那个人又在瞌睡时,牧师决定要好好教育他一下,让他不要再在布道时睡觉。
于是他低声对信徒们说:“想去天堂的人,都请站起来吧。
”所有的人都站了起来——当然,除了那个打瞌睡的人。
在低声说过请坐后,牧师高声喊道:“想去下地狱的人请站起来!”打瞌睡的人被这突然的喊叫声惊醒了,他站了起来。