小学生-英语-幽默笑话
- 格式:doc
- 大小:148.00 KB
- 文档页数:14
少儿英文小笑话大全爆笑幽默与笑话同是社会交往活动中不可缺少的交际手段。
下面是店铺精心收集的爆笑少儿英文小笑话,希望大家喜欢!爆笑少儿英文小笑话篇一A philosophy professor warned the classhe wasgoing to give them a test.一位哲学教授通知学生他要举行一场考试。
When the day came he entered theclassroom,wordlessly placed his chair on the tableand,turning to the blackboard, wrote, 考试那天,他走进教室,一言不发地把自己的椅子放到讲台上,然后转身在黑板上写道,"Prove to me this chair does not exist."“请向我证明这张椅子不存在。
”Most of the nervous studentbegan intently scribbling out long dissertations.大多数学生很紧张,都开始专心地写他们的论文。
But one member of the class wrote down just two words,and then handed his paper to theteacher.只有一个学生只写了两个单词就交卷了。
The professor had to smile when he read the student's answer:"What chair?"当教授看到这个学生的答案时,不由微笑了,只见他写的是:“什么椅子啊?”爆笑少儿英文小笑话篇二A big burly man visited the pastor's homeand askedto see the minister's wife,a woman well known forher charitable impulses.一个高大魁梧的男人到牧师家拜访,他要求会见牧师的妻子,这是一个以有着慈悲心肠而闻名的妇女。
小学生幽默英文笑话大全笑话拥有广大的受众,深受人们喜爱,是生活中不可缺少的一环。
小编精心收集了小学生幽默英文笑话,供大家欣赏学习!小学生幽默英文笑话:家丑不可外扬Teacher of Physical Education: Have you ever seen mixed doubles, boys?Nick: Yes, sir. Quite often. I saw it even last night.Teacher: Please tell us something about it.Nick: Oh, sorry, sir. My father always says, 'Domestic shame should not be published.'混合双打体育老师:孩子们,你们见过男女混合双打吗?尼克:见过,老师,经常见。
就在昨天夜里我还见过呢?老师:你给大家讲讲当时的情形吧。
尼克:啊,对不起,老师。
我爸爸常说,”家丑不可外扬。
“小学生幽默英文笑话:It's Kind of Fitting(理应如此)As a freshman at the University of Dayton in Ohio, I was eager to make a good impression on my new roommate. When I arrived at our dorm room, I found her putting on perfume. "That's a great scent," I said, making conversation."Thanks-it was from my boyfriend. Here, try some," she said, holding the bottle out for me.Unfortunately she let go before I had a firm grip, and the glass shattered on the tile floor. , Embarrassed, I tried to apologize, but she cut me off - "Actually, it's kind of fitting," she explained, surveying the damage. "That's exactly how the relationship went.小学生幽默英文笑话:ResponesFrequent hand-washing in my job as a medical technologistand the harsh Alaskan weather combined to give me very dry skin. One night as I prepared for bed, I rubbed my hands withpetroleum jelly and covered them with a pair of old white gloves.As I sat in bed reading a book with my gloves on, my husband finished showering and came into the room. Drying himself off, he went to the closet, selected a tie and began putting it on. "What are you doing?" I asked."Well," he replied, "if you're going to be formal, so am I."小学生幽默英文笑话:Two Old MenTwo old men were sitting on a porch with a hound dog between them. The dog had its leg hiked up and was licking itself. One of the old men said to the other, "I sure do wish I could do that."The other old man said, "You better not, that dog will bite you."。
小学英语幽默笑话精选“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。
”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。
笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。
下面店铺为大家带来小学英语幽默笑话精选,欢迎大家阅读!小学英语幽默笑话精选1:Son: "Dad, give me a dime."儿子:“爸爸,给我一毛钱。
”Father: "Son, don't you think you're getting too big to be forever begging for dimes?"父亲:“儿子,你不认为自己渐渐长大,不应该总是一毛一毛地要钱吗?”Son: "I guess you're right, dad. Give me a dollar, will you?"儿子:“爸爸,我想你说得对。
给我一块钱,好吗?”小学英语幽默笑话精选2:The librarian went over to a small, noisy boy. "Please be quiet!" she warned. "The people around you can't read!"图书管理员走到一个喧闹的小男孩身边,警告说:“请安静!你周围的人都不能读书了!”"They can't?" The boy asked curiously. "Then what are they doing here?"“不能读书?”小男孩好奇地问道。
“那他们在这里干什么?”小学英语幽默笑话精选3:betty:"Black hens are cleverer than white ones, aren't they?"贝蒂:“黑母鸡比白母鸡聪明,对吗?”Larry:"How do you know?"拉里:“你怎么知道?”Betty:"Well, the black hens can lay white eggs, but the white hens can't lay black ones."贝蒂:“嗯,因为黑母鸡能下白蛋,可白母鸡不能下黑蛋。
20个英语笑话爆笑超短小学生20词英语笑话你太晚了youaretoolateonabusamandiscoveredapickpocket'shandthrustintohispocket."sorry,"hesaidtothepickpocket,"youaretoolate.mywifediditbeforeyou."在公共汽车上,有个人发现小偷把手伸到了他的口袋里o"对不起,"他对小偷说道,"你太晚了,我妻子在你之前就搞过同样的事情了。
”whatisyouroffense你做了什么坏事itwasthechristmasseasonandthejudgewasinamerrymoodasheaskedtheprisoner,“whatis youroffense?”圣诞佳节到来,法官心情愉悦地问犯人:“你做了什么坏事啊?”“ididmychristmasshoppingearlythisyear,”criedtheprisoner.“我今年圣诞节购物早了些”犯人回答。
“there'snothingwrongwiththat,”saidthejudge.howearlywereyoudoingthisshopping?”“这么做没错啊,”法官说:“到底多早之前啊?““beforethestoreopened,”answeredtheprisoner.“商店开门之前“犯人答道。
muchworse那就更糟了policeman:whydidn'tyoushoutforhelpwhenyouwererobbedofyourwatch?警察:有人抢你的手表时,你为什么不呼救呢?man:lfihadopenedmymouth,they'dhavefoundmyfourgoldteeth.thatwouldbemuchworse.男子:要是我张口的话,他们就会发现我的四颗金牙。
小学生短笑话大全爆笑短一点的爆笑英文小笑话大全笑话(анекдот)是民族文化不行或缺的一部分。
透过笑话我们可以看到一个民族的生存环境、生活方式、社会关系和心理特征等等。
本文是短一点的爆笑英文小笑话,盼望对大家有关心!短一点的爆笑英文小笑话:It Doesnt ExistJimmy came home from school with an F on his geography test. His mother was reviewing his work, and noticed that he had gotten one particularly easy question wrong.Jimmy, she asked, Santa Cruz is in California.No, it isnt. It doesnt exist.Of course it exists. What makes you think its imaginary? Thats what you told me, mommy, the boy replied.When did I tell you that?Last Christmas, when I wanted to know why I didnt get a horse. No, I told you that Santa CLAUS doesnt exist, not Santa CRUZ.短一点的爆笑英文小笑话:No Temper Tantrums On This PlaneAs a crowded airliner is about to take off, the peace is shattered by a 5-year-old boy who picks that moment to throw a wild temper tantrum. No matter what his frustrated, embarrassed mother does to try to calm him down, the boy continues to scream furiously and kick the seats around him.Suddenly, from the rear of the plane, an elderly man in the uniform of an Air Force General is seen slowly walking forward up the aisle. Stopping the flustered mother with an upraised hand, the white-haired, courtly, soft-spoken General leans down and, motioning toward his chest, whispers something into the boys ear. Instantly, the boy calms down, gently takes his mothers hand, and quietly fastens his seat belt. All the other passengers burst into spontaneous applause.As the General slowly makes his way back to his seat, one of the cabin attendants touches his sleeve.Excuse me, General, she asks quietly, but could I ask you what magic words you used on that little boy?The old man smiles serenely and gently confides, I showed him my pilots wings, service stars, and battle ribbons, and explained that they entitle me to throw one passenger out the plane door on any flight I choose.短一点的爆笑英文小笑话:Mommys WashclothThere was a little boy whose mother was about to have a baby. One day the little boy walked in and saw his mother naked, he asked his mother what was the hair in between her legs? She responded, Its my washcloth. Weeks later after the mother had the baby, the young boy walked in on his mother again, but while she was in thehospital the doctor shaved her pubic hair, and the boy asked his mother: What happened to your washcloth? The mother responded, I lost it.The little boy trying to be helpful set out to find his mothers washcloth. A few days later the little boy went running to his mother yelling and screaming, I found your washcloth, the mother thinking that the child was just playing went along with the boy and asked, Where did you find it? The boy answered, The maid has it and she is washing daddys face with it.短一点的爆笑英文小笑话:Coffee MakerA sweet little boy surprised his grandmother one morning and brought her a cup of coffee in bed. He had made it all by himself and was so proud. He waited eagerly to hear herverdict on the quality of the coffee.The grandmother had truly never in her life had such a bad cup of coffee. The first fewsips just about did her in, but she praised her grandson, told him it was wonderful, and drank it all anyway. As she forced down the last sip, she noticed three little green army guys in the bottom of the cup.She asked, Honey, why would three of your little army guys be in the bottom of my cup?Her grandson replied, You know, grandma, its like on TV:The best part of waking up... is soldiers in your cup.短一点的爆笑英文小笑话:You Are UglyFinding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith, the Sunday School teacher, smiling sweetly said, Bobby, when I was a child I was told if that I made ugly an face, it would freeze and I would stay like that.Bobby looked up and replied, Well, Ms. Smith, you cant say you werent warned.看了"短一点的爆笑英文小笑话'的人还看了:1.简短爆笑英文小笑话大全2.简短的爆笑英文小笑话大全3.爆笑的简短英文小笑话大全4.好玩简短的英文爆笑小笑话大全5.关于爆笑英文短笑话大全。
英语幽默童趣笑话1. The couple next door gave birth to a black boy.隔壁的夫妇生了一个黑人小孩。
Little Henry told his mother close by, "It must be why the couple smoke. They not only blacken themselves but also the baby."小亨利就在旁边对他的妈妈说:“一定是他们夫妇抽烟的原因。
他们不仅熏黑了自己,还熏黑了宝宝。
”2. A boy followed his father to enter the garage with the cars fully parked.男孩跟着父亲走进停满小轿车的车库。
He said to his father, "Papa, it must be an auto kindergarten here?"他对父亲说:“爸爸,这里一定是汽车幼儿园吧?”3. Son:"Why are the hen's legs so short?"儿子:“为什么母鸡的腿那么短?”Dad:"You are a fool. If the hen's legs were too long, wouldn't they drop their eggs into pieces when laying?"父亲:“你真笨。
如果母鸡的腿很长,它们下蛋时,鸡蛋不就都摔破了吗?”4. Two boys are talking with each other.两个孩子正在交谈。
"You see, in the old times there were no electricity, no radios, no televisions. How could our ancestors survive?"“你想,古代没有电,没有收音机,也没有电视。
4年级小学英语笑话带翻译 1500字一、Why Did the Tomato Turn Red? 番茄为什么变红了?Tom : Mom, why did the tomato turn red?Tom的妈妈,“妈妈,为什么番茄变红了?”Mom : Well, it saw the salad dressing!妈妈:嗯,它看见沙拉酱了!解释:这个笑话是一个简单的文字游戏。
番茄变红是因为它看到了沙拉酱,也就是“saw the salad dressing”的谐音”sauce the salad dressing”,以此制造了一个幽默的场景。
这个笑话适合小学四年级的学生,因为他们开始学习英语的幽默。
二、A Bike Ride 骑自行车Teacher : Did you enjoy your bike ride?老师:你喜欢骑自行车吗?Student : No, I didn't. The seat was too hard.学生:不喜欢。
座位太硬了。
解释:这个笑话很简单,是通过一种双关语的形式制造幽默。
老师问学生是否喜欢骑自行车,学生以为老师是指自行车骑行,但实际上老师指的是骑在自行车的座位上。
学生的回答让笑话产生了可笑的效果。
三、The Camping Trip 露营之旅Teacher : Did you have a good time on the camping trip?老师:露营之旅过得开心吗?Student : It was in-tents!学生:每一帐篷里都有数百只虫子!解释:这个笑话是一个多音字的游戏。
学生理解露营之旅(camping trip)为每一帐篷里都有数百只虫子的意思(in-tents),而露营之旅(camping trip)音近“in-tents”。
这使得回答变得幽默有趣。
四、The Time Question 关于时间的问题Teacher : What time do you go to bed?老师:你几点睡觉?Student : Usually about 10 o'clock, but sometimes 10:30.学生:通常是10点左右,但有时是10点半。
小学生英文爆笑小笑话大全冷笑话是一种新兴的语言现象,也是一种出现在我们身边的不可忽视的新的语言现象。
冷笑话不同于一般笑话,它以其独特的制笑机制,能瞬间创造出一种特殊的氛围。
店铺分享小学生英文爆笑小笑话,希望可以帮助大家!小学生英文爆笑小笑话:Who Is the Laziest 谁最懒Father: Well, Tom, I asked to your teacher today, and now I want to ask you a question. Who is the laziest person in your class?Tom: I don't know, father.Father: Oh, yes, you do! Think! When other boys and girls are doing and writing, who sits in the class and only watches how other people work?Tom: Our teacher, father.父亲:哎,汤姆,今天我跟你们老师谈过,现在我想问你个问题。
你们班上谁最懒?汤姆:我不知道,爸爸。
父亲:啊,不对,你知道!想想看,当别的孩子们都在做作业、写字时,谁在课堂上坐着,只是看人家做功课?汤姆:我们老师,爸爸。
小学生英文爆笑小笑话:Three Turtles 三只乌龟Three turtles decided to have a cup of coffee. Just as they got into the cafe, it started to rain.The biggest turtle said to the smallest one, " Go home and get the umbrella."The little turtle replied, "I will, if you don't drink my offee.""We won't," the other two promised.Two years later the big turtle said to the middle turtle, "Well, I guess he isn't coming back, so we might as well drink his coffee."Just then a voice called from outside the door, "If you do, Iwon't go."三只乌龟决定去喝咖啡。
适合小学生的英语笑话大全在开《论语》玩笑的一些笑话背后,反映出了许多当时的社会问题。
下面是店铺带来的适合小学生的英语笑话,欢迎阅读!适合小学生的英语笑话大全(一)我只把扣眼儿给缝上了Husband: Did you sew the button on my shirt, darling?丈夫:你给我把扣子缝好了吗,亲爱的?Wife: No, dear. I couldn't find the button, so I just sewed up the buttonhole.妻子:没有,亲爱的。
我找不到扣子,所以我只把扣眼儿给缝上了。
(二)婚姻的成本 Cost of marriageA little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"一个小男孩问他的父亲,“爸爸,要花多少钱才能结婚呢?”And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."“我也不知道,我现在还在交钱。
”父亲回答。
适合小学生的英语笑话欣赏(一)你太晚了 You Are T oo LateOn the bus a man discovered a pickpocket's hand thrust into his pocket.在公共汽车上一人发现一个小偷把手伸到了他的口袋里。
"sorry," he said to the pickpocket, "you are too late. My wife did it before you."“对不起,”他对小偷说,“你太晚了,我妻子在你之前就做过同样的事情了。
”(二)我根本就看不见 I cannot see it at allAfter supper, the parents were busy playing mah-jong with the guests. At this point themother thought of something and said to her son who was watching TV, "Honey, go see if thekitchen light is on or not?" After a while, her son returned and said, "Ma, the kitchen is sodark that I cannot see it at all."晚饭后,父亲和母亲都忙着和客人玩麻将,这时母亲忽然想起点儿事来,便对正在看电视的儿子说道:“宝贝,去看看厨房里的灯是不是还开着呢?” 过了一会儿,儿子回来说:“妈,厨房里太黑了,我根本就看不见。
儿童英语幽默小笑话带翻译1.儿童英语幽默小笑话带翻译钱不用找了Selling secondhand books at our church bazaar, I got into an argument with a prospective customer. He was interested in buying The Pocket Book of Ogden Nash but claimed it was overpriced at 35 cents. Other paperbacks were selling for ten or 15 cents each.在教堂的义卖市上卖旧书时,我与一名准备买东西的顾客发生了一场争论。
他对购买袖珍奥金.纳什集颇感兴趣,但是说它要三十五美分开价过高。
其它的平装书每本才卖十或十五美分。
I pointed out that the book was in good condition. Nash was a fun poet, and it was for a good cause. He said it was a matter of principle. Ultimately, I agreed to sell him the book for 15 cents. Triumphant, he paid with a $10 bill. “Keep the change,” he said.我指出这本书保存状况颇好,纳什是个有趣的诗人,这个要价是合理的。
他说这是个原则问题。
最终,我同意以十五美分的价格将这本书卖给他。
他得意洋洋,拿出一张十美元的票子付帐。
“零钱不用找了。
”他说。
12.儿童英语幽默小笑话带翻译amos asked his mother whether they could have a video.艾莫斯问妈妈他们是否能买一台录像机。
i’m afraid we can’t afford one, sighed his mother.恐怕我们还买不起,妈妈叹息着说。
英语小幽默笑话一、教室里的笑话一天,小明走进教室,发现黑板上写着一行字:“I'm very good!(我很好!)”于是他皱了皱眉,拿起粉笔在旁边写了一行字:“I'm good too, thank you!(我也很好,谢谢!)”当小明坐下时,他才发现旁边的黑板上写着:“I'm a blackboard!(我是一个黑板!)”二、动物园里的笑话John 去动物园里参观。
他走到狮子旁边,然后用手指挖狮子笼子外面一点点的土。
突然,狮子怒吼一声,跳到笼子外面。
John 吓得立刻跑了起来。
然而,狮子并没有追赶他,反而开始用爪子挖土,好像在等待什么。
John 一边跑一边回头看,这时突然明白过来,原来狮子是在等着他掏出足够多的土,这样狮子就可以把他的手指当早餐了。
三、医院里的笑话将军身体不适,于是他去了医院。
医生给将军把脉后说:“将军,您需要多休息,少工作。
”将军愤怒地说:“我是将军,我必须站在最前线,为国家效力!”医生点点头,继续说道:“我明白了,将军。
那么我们就把床移到最前线吧!”四、旅行的笑话一个美国人,一个英国人和一个中国人一起参加了一个环球旅行团。
当他们来到一个孤岛时,他们被困在那里了。
他们决定每人去找各自国家的救援。
一个月后,美国人挨饿了,但看到了一点希望。
他用信号枪向天空发出了SOS。
几天后,一架直升飞机来把他救走了。
两个月后,英国人饿得快死了,但他坚信救援一定会来。
于是他写了一封希望的信并抛入大海。
几天后,一个军舰把他救了起来。
而中国人一直没有食物,他只好靠椰子充饥。
六个月后,他终于爬到了岛的最高峰,大喊一声:“我是第一批到达这个岛屿的人!”五、餐厅里的笑话一位顾客走进餐厅,服务员领他坐下,然后递给他菜单。
一会儿,服务员走过来问:“先生,您想点什么?”顾客犹豫了一下,然后说道:“给我请一个有人性的厨师。
”服务员笑笑,离开了。
等了一会儿,服务员回来了,手上端着一个镜子。
他把镜子递给顾客说:“先生,这是我们厨师的倒影。
儿童英语笑话大全爆笑简短儿童英语笑话可以是简单、幽默,而且易于理解的,下面是一些简短且有趣的笑话:1. Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 (ate) 9!2. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!3. How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it.4. What do you call cheese that's not yours? Nacho cheese!5. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!6. What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!7. What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping? A dino-snore!8. Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems.9. Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired!10. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite!11. How do bees get to school? By the school buzz!12. What is fast, loud and crunchy? A rocket chip!13. Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts.14. What room has no doors or windows? A mushroom!15. How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut!16. What did one wall say to the other wall? "I'll meet you at the corner!"17. Why did the kid bring a ladder to school? Because he wanted to go to high school!18. Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it felt crumbly.19. What kind of key opens a banana? A monkey!20. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.21. What did the zero say to the eight? Nice belt!22. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!23. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!24. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!25. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.26. What has ears but cannot hear? A cornfield.27. Why did the kid study in the airplane? He wanted a higher education!28. What did the little corn say to the mama corn? "Where is popcorn?"29. Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert? Because she was stuffed.30. What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador!这些笑话不仅适合儿童,也能让大人会心一笑。
经典英文小学生幽默笑话篇一:小学生英语幽默笑话12英语笑话小明上英文课时跟老师说:May I go to the toilet 老师说:Go ahead. 小明就坐了下来。
过了一会儿,小明又跟老师说:May I go to the toilet 老师说:Go ahead.小明又坐了下来。
他旁边的同学于是忍不住问:你不是跟老师说要上厕所吗?怎么不去?小明说:你没听老师说“去你个头”啊!英语笑话某日刘洪涛遇到外宾,上前搭话曰:I am HongTao Liu. 外宾曰:我还是方片七呢!英语笑话某人刻苦学习英语,终有小成。
一日上街不慎与一老外相撞,忙说:I am sorry. 老外应道:I am sorry too. 某人听后又道:I am sorry three. 老外不解,问:What are you sorry for 某人无奈,道:I am sorry five.英语笑话英语老师问一个学生,“How are you是什么意思” 学生想how是怎么,you 是你,于是回答“怎么是你?” 老师生气又问另一个同学:“How old are you 是什么意思?” 这个同学想了想说:“怎么老是你”英语笑话小明在学习英语时,总爱把英语单词的读音用汉字标注出来。
因此很产生了一个大笑话。
老师在教学问价钱一课时,问某商品多少钱时用“How much”,小明赶紧在这个词组下面用汉字标出了他的读音“好吗嘛”。
标完后还洋洋得意,觉得自己学会了。
一次,小明到商店买东西,老板是个老外。
小明想要一瓶可乐,说了半天老板听不懂,小明只好用手指到可乐,老板才把可乐拿给他。
等到付钱时,小明马上想到自己学的英语知识,高兴的说“好吃嘛?”,老板摇摇头,小明挠挠头,心想是不是记错了,又说“嘛好吃?”。
老板摇摇头,小明急了说道“吃好嘛?”。
老板摇摇头,小明情急之中冒出“好嘛吃”。
老板这才点点头。
小明惭愧的满脸通红,低着头抓耳挠腮地离开了商店。
小学简单的英语笑话带翻译小学简单的英语笑话带翻译笑话是民族文化及社会生活中不可缺少的一环,从古至今都拥有广大的受众,深受人们喜爱。
下面是店铺带来的小学简单的英语笑话带翻译,欢迎阅读!小学简单的英语笑话带翻译篇一DrunkOne day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk.""But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"醉酒一天,父亲与小儿子一道回家。
这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄,老是有提不完的问题。
他向父亲发问道:“爸爸,‘醉’字是什么意思?” “唔,孩子,”父亲回答说,“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。
如果我把他们看成了四个,那么我就算醉了。
” “可是,爸爸,”孩子说,“那儿只有一个警察呀!”小学简单的英语笑话带翻译篇二Boy: Hi, didn't we go on dates before? Onec or twice?Girl: Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice.男孩:嗨,我们之前是不是约会过,是一次还是两次,我忘记了。
小学生英语幽默笑话带翻译小学生英语幽默笑话1:When my wife,Diana, and I met a new couple at church one Sunday, we stopped to introduce ourselves and to e某change pleasantries. We described the friendly neighborhood we lived in,and listened sympathetically as they lamented that theirs was just the opposite.一个星期天,我和妻子戴安娜去教堂时,碰到了一对新婚的夫妇。
于是,我们停下车,向他们做了自我介绍,我们之间还表达了相互认识的喜悦之情。
我们的话题开始谈到了邻居,我们说我们的邓居如何如何的好。
当他们说到他们的邻居恰恰相反时,我们表示了对他们的同情。
Saying our good-byes, we got in our cars and drove home. As we approached our house,we were horrified to see that our new-found friends were pulling into the driveway ne某t to ours.后来,我们向他们道了别,开车回到了家。
当我们把车子开到家门口时,我们惊奇地发现我们的新结识的那对新婚夫妇把车停在了隔璧的停车道上。
小学生英语幽默笑话2:Shortly after our teen-age son started his first job at a family restaurant,we decided to surprise him by having dinner there one night. I was warned by other family members not to embarrass him by making it obvious I was his mother. Being an e某uberant parent,I found this difficult but managed to act like other customers.I kept my head bent over the menu and politely accepted silverware and a glass of water---all without glancing up.我们上中学的儿子开始在一家餐馆打工做招待不久,我们决定找个晚上到他打工的餐馆吃顿饭,让他大吃一惊。
英语爆笑小笑话带翻译笑话是幽默的一个属概念,具有幽默的一切特征。
笑话是民族特有幽默的一种形式。
小编精心收集了小学英语爆笑小笑话带翻译,供大家欣赏学习!小学英语爆笑小笑话带翻译篇1An antiques collector was passing a small shop when he noticed a cat on the sidewalk outfront, licking milk from a saucer. The man immediately realized the saucer was very old andvaluable. He stepped into the shop with an uninterested look and asked to buy the cat. "I'msorry, " the shop owner said, "but the cat is not for sale: ""Please, " the collector urged, "I need a cat around my house to catch mice. I'll give you 20dollars. ""The cat is yours," the owner said taking the money."Listen," the collector added, "I wonder if you could throw in that old saucer as well. Thecat seems to like it and I'd hate to have him give it up. ""Sorry," the shop owner answered, "but that saucer brings me luck. Why, just this weekI've sold 68 cats!"一个古董收集者正路过一个小店。
小孩子之间的英语幽默笑话1. Betty:"I fell last night, unconscious for eight hours."贝蒂:“我昨晚摔了一跤,昏迷了8个小时。
”Hetty:"How dreadful! Where did you fall?"赫蒂:“真可怕!你在哪里摔的?”Betty:"I fell asleep."贝蒂:“我是在睡梦中。
”2. Tommy:"Are flies good to eat?"汤米:“苍蝇好吃吗?”Dad:"I don't think so. Why do you ask?"爸爸:“我想不好吃。
你为什么这样问?”Tommy:"There was one in your pie."汤米:“刚刚你的馅饼里面有一只。
”3. Mother:"Why were you kept after school today, Johnny?"妈妈:“今天放学后,你为什么要被留下来,约翰尼?”Johnny:"Teacher told us to write an essay on 'The Result of Laziness', and I turned in an blank sheet of paper."约翰尼:“老师让我们写一篇《懒惰的后果》,我交了一张白纸。
”4. I was putting cream on my face when my little girl asked what I was doing. I explained that it was good for wrinkles.我向脸上抹面霜时,小女儿问我在干什么。
我解释说这种面霜对皱纹有好处。
"It's sure doing a great job, mommy," she replied."You are getting more of them."她答复说:“妈妈,它肯定很管用。
小学英语小笑话带翻译1.小学英语小笑话带翻译篇一'Isn't the head teacher a bit of a twit?' said a boy to a girl.一个小男孩跟小女孩说:“你有没有觉得班主任有点傻?”'Well, do you know who I am?' inquired the girl.小女孩回答到:“啊哈,你知道我是谁吗?”'No.' replied the boy.小男孩回答道:“不知道。
”'I'm the head teacher's daughter', replied the girl.小女孩说:“我就是你口中所说的傻班主任的女儿。
”'And do you know who I am?' asked the boy.小男孩(面不改色心里惊恐地)问:“那你知道我是谁吗?”'No,' she uttered.小女孩说:“不知道。
”'Thank goodness!' said the boy with a sigh of relief.小男孩大大的松了口气,说道“真是谢天谢地啊。
”2.小学英语小笑话带翻译篇二One winter morning, an employee explained why he had shown up for work 45 minutes late. "It was so slippery out that for every step I to ok ahead, I slipped back two."The boss eyed him suspiciously. "Oh, yeah? Then how did you ever g et here?""I finally gave up," he said, "and started for home."你是怎样来的?一个冬天的早晨,一名雇员解释他为什么迟到了四十五分钟才起来上班。
小学生爆笑英文小笑话大全小学生爆笑英文小笑话:狗住旅店A man wrote a letter to a small hotel he planned to visit on his vacation: "I would very much like to bring my dog with me. He iswell-groomed and very well behaved. Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room with me at night?"有个人给一家他计划在假期里停留的小旅馆写了封信,“我非常希望带着我的狗,它很干净很有教养,你能允许它和我睡一间屋子吗?”An immediate reply came from the hotel owner, who said, "I've been operating this hotel for many years. In all that time, I've never had a dog steal towels, bedclothes, silverware or pictures off the walls. I've never had to evict a dog in the middle of the night for being drunk and disorderly. And I've never had a dog run out on a hotel bill. Yes, indeed, your dog is welcome at my hotel. And, if your dog will vouch for you, you're welcome to stay here, too."旅馆主人立即回了封信,“我经营旅馆很多年了,狗从没偷过毛巾,床单,餐具,或者墙上的画。
杰克给人鞠躬,飞快地一点头,就算完了。
大家都怪他不懂礼貌。
于是便有好心的人教他说,“下次鞠躬的时候,你就在心里数:正月、二月、……一直数到十二月为止,然后再直起身来。
这样,礼节就周全了。
”第二天,杰克见到他的叔叔,他便如法炮制。
这躬鞠得太久,叔叔吃了一惊,赶紧逃开了。
杰克抬头一看,其叔早已不知去向,他便问过路人:“我叔叔几月走的。
”问哪个月是用哪个疑问词 Which month? When ?裙子和一条黄裙子。
她问她的父亲:哪条裙子是最好的?她的父亲说:我认为蓝色是最好的。
她问她的母亲:你认为哪条裙子是最好的?她的母亲回答:当然是白色的了。
缇娜说:谢谢。
她穿上黄色的裙子出去了。
哪条裙子Which skirt?2小龙问妈妈:“你为什么不买一部麾托车?”妈妈回答:“我没钱,买不起。
”小龙说:“等我长大赚钱,就为你买一部麾托车,那时候你就可以用摩托车带我上幼儿园了。
”3 有一个老师,他是一个非常虔诚的佛教徒有一次他跟小朋友说天堂怎么好问小朋友说想不想去天堂玩结果只有一位小朋友没有举手接著又跟小朋友说地狱怎么可怕又问要去地狱的举手还是那一位小朋友没举手于是老师觉得很奇怪…。
怎么天堂不去,地狱也不去就叫这位小朋友说:为何天堂不去,地狱也不去呢小朋友说:妈妈说放学后,要马上回家,那都不准去……你上学了,到底是什么意思?我答道我不知道,老妈说你想挨打了,是不是?就是我不知道,结果被打了一顿。
样抱着课本抑扬顿挫的朗读:.他坚守着暴风雪中的哨岗,手中紧紧握着一支钢枪.(原文)我们听到的是.他坚守着暴风雪中的哨岗,手中紧紧握着一支钢笔.全班一阵沉默,老师笑倒,之后同学倒.6注意你的同桌老师要求学生写作文,题目是:《我长大了要干什么》。
冬冬写道:我长大了要当一名警察,帮助大家抓坏人。
老师的评语是:很好的愿望,不过,要先注意你的同桌阿牛,他说长大了要去抢银行。
英语笑话(一)小明上英文课时跟老师说:May I go to the toilet?老师说:Go ahead.小明就坐了下来。
过了一会儿,小明又跟老师说:May I go to the toilet?老师说:Go ahead.小明又坐了下来。
他旁边的同学于是忍不住问:你不是跟老师说要上厕所吗?怎么不去?小明说:你没听老师说“去你个头”啊!英语笑话(二)某日刘洪涛遇到外宾,上前搭话曰:I am HongTao Liu.外宾曰:我还是方片七呢!英语笑话(三)江青会见外宾,要求翻译要严格按她的意思翻,不许走样。
外宾一见到江青,立刻拍马屁道:"Miss Jiang, you are very beautiful."翻译照翻,江青心花怒放,嘴上还要谦虚一下:“哪里,哪里”。
翻译不敢怠慢,把江青的话翻成英文:"Where? Where?"外宾一愣,还有这样的人,追问哪里漂亮的,干脆马屁拍到底:"Everywhere, everywhere."翻译:“你到处都很漂亮。
”江青更高兴了,但总是要客气一下:“不见得,不见得”。
翻译赶紧翻成英文:"You are not allowed to see, you are not allowed to see." 英语笑话(四)话说某年某月的某一天,三个神箭手约在一起比箭,目标是十尺外仆人头上的苹果。
A神箭手挽弓长射,咻一声,利箭正中苹果。
A高傲的昂起下巴,竖出一根大拇指道:I am后羿!B神箭手照本宣科,射中苹果,这回他自大的喊了一句:I am丘比特!轮到C了,他也挽弓,利箭射出!结果正中仆人的心脏。
就听他结结巴巴好久才吐出一句:I...I...I...am...sorry...英语笑话(五)某人刻苦学习英语,终有小成。
一日上街不慎与一老外相撞,忙说:I am sorry. 老外应道:I am sorry too.某人听后又道:I am sorry three.老外不解,问:What are you sorry for?某人无奈,道:I am sorry five.英语笑话(六)一位来自日本的旅客,坐出租车去机场的路上,看到一辆汽车经过,就说:“oh,TOKOTA!Made in Japan! It is very fast!”又有一辆经过,他又说:“oh,NISSAN!Made in Japan! It is very fast!”司机有点不高兴,觉得他太吵了!当第三辆经过时,他还是说:“oh,HONDA!Made in Japan! It is very fast!”后来到了机场,那个日本人就问:“How Much?”出租车司机说:“1000!”日本人惊奇的问司机:“为什么那么贵?”出租车司机回答说:“oh,mileometer(计程表)!Made in Japan! It is very fast!”英语笑话(七)英语老师问一个学生,“How are you是什么意思”学生想how是怎么,you 是你,于是回答“怎么是你?”老师生气又问另一个同学:“How old are you ?是什么意思?”这个同学想了想说:“怎么老是你?”英语笑话(九)一位在美的留学生,想要考国际驾照。
在考试时因为过于紧张,看到地上标线是向左转。
他不放心的问道:turn left?监考官回答:right.于是他立刻向右转。
很抱歉他只有下次再来。
英语笑话(十)A:What’s on your hand?B:Watch.A:How to spell that?B:T-H-A-T~1小明在学习英语时,总爱把英语单词的读音用汉字标注出来。
因此很产生了一个大笑话。
老师在教学问价钱一课时,问某商品多少钱时用“How much”,小明赶紧在这个词组下面用汉字标出了他的读音“好吗嘛”。
标完后还洋洋得意,觉得自己学会了。
一次,小明到商店买东西,老板是个老外。
小明想要一瓶可乐,说了半天老板听不懂,小明只好用手指到可乐,老板才把可乐拿给他。
等到付钱时,小明马上想到自己学的英语知识,高兴的说“好吃嘛?”,老板摇摇头,小明挠挠头,心想是不是记错了,又说“嘛好吃?”。
老板摇摇头,小明急了说道“吃好嘛?”。
老板摇摇头,小明情急之中冒出“好嘛吃”。
老板这才点点头。
小明惭愧的满脸通红,低着头抓耳挠腮地离开了商店。
这个笑话固然可笑,但也告诉我们一个道理:千万不要在英语单词或句子下用汉字注音。
只有靠多读才能牢记单词、句子的发音。
否则也会出现类似的笑话。
1)有个老外到唐山去旅游,住在当地一户农家里。
早上起来,看见院子里有只猫,就逗猫玩,这时候这户人家的老太太出来了,就说:“鼓捣猫呢?”老外还以为是问“早上好”,于是就回了一句“Good morning!”到了晚上,老太太看见这老外又在洗衣服,就说:鼓捣衣服呢?老外赶紧又回答一句:“Good evening!”心里那个佩服,中国人厉害,连老太太英语都说得这么好!深夜,老外泡了一杯牛奶,准备喝完睡觉,又被老太太看见了,问老外:“鼓捣奶呢?”老外一听,连“Good night”都会说,彻底晕菜。
2)随着奥运申办成功和加入WTO,一日,董事长要求董事局委员们狠抓英语学习,并且第一堂课由他自己主讲。
董事长在黑板上写了一句话: How are you ? 然后看了看下面的委员说:“你们谁来翻译一下这句话?”。
结果没有人响应,董事长有些不快,这么简单的句子都不会?于是董事长就点名让李董事来翻译。
李董事站起来后,结结巴巴地说:“这...这三个字我都认识,只是...只是搁到一起是什么就不太清楚了,是不是‘怎么-是-你?’的意思?”董事长非常恼火,但不便发作,只好说:“再来一个试试!”,于是在黑板上又写了一句话:How old are you ? 李董事回答到:“怎么-老-是-你?”3)有一天津大哥学英语,头一天就记住了问价钱时可以说how much。
第二天市场买菜,寻思显摆显摆,于是问:嘛好吃?卖菜的一愣!自己想不对,又问:好吃吗?一想,又不对,又问:吃嘛好?4)一位在美的留学生,想要考国际驾照。
在考试时因为过于紧张,看到地上标线是向左转。
他不放心的问道:turn left?监考官回答:right.于是他立刻向右转。
很抱歉他只有下次再来。
5)某人刻苦学习英语,终有小成。
一日上街不慎与一老外相撞忙说:I am sorry.老外应道:I am sorry too.某人听后又道:I am sorry three.老外不解,问:what are you sorry for?某人无奈,道:I am sorry five.6)一位父亲检查儿子的英语课本时,看到了极其恐怖的一页yes——爷死nice——奶死bus——爸死mouth——妈死girls——哥死was——我死cheese——气死does——都死7)English的谐音:小时侯,把English读为"应给利息"的同学当了行长;读为"阴沟里洗"的成了小菜贩子;读为"因果联系"的成了哲学家;读为"硬改历史"的成了领导;读为"英国里去"的成了海外华侨;而我不小心读成了"应该累死",结果成了公司职员。
8)德友人魏特茂,娶了中国太太。
某日遇一老翁,两人寒暄起来。
老翁:“您贵姓?”德佬:“我姓魏。
”老翁:“魏什么?”德佬:“为什么?姓魏也要问为什么?”9)一位来自日本的旅客,坐出租车去机场的路上,看到一辆汽车经过,就说:“oh,TOYOTA!Made in Japan! It is very fast!”又有一辆经过,他又说:“oh,NISSAN!Made in Japan! It is very fast!”司机有点不高兴,觉得他太吵了!当第三辆经过时,他还是说:“oh,HONDA!Made in Japan! It is very fast!”后来到了机场,那个日本人就问:“How Much?”出租车司机说:“1000!”日本人惊奇的问司机:“为什么那么贵?”出租车司机回答说:“oh,mileometer (计程表)!Made in Japan! It is very fast!”10)考外国人的托福张三和李四一起吃饭,吃着吃着,王五进来了,张三说:“哎呀,说曹操,曹操就到。
”请选择以下答案:A.张三到了;B.李四到了;C.王五到了;D.曹操到了。
外国人一看不假思索就选了D11)英式英语和美式英语的笑话。
我们知道,英式英语和美式英语在发言和拼写上对某些单词是有些微区别的。
就拿today这个发音的发音来讲,英式英语的发音是:te-dei;美式英语的发音是:te-dai。
有一个故事就发生了。