关于英文笑话故事5篇_英语的笑话故事简短
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短的英语笑话故事大全(13篇)短的英语笑话故事篇6 短的英语笑话故事篇7 短的英语笑话故事篇11I worked as a mailman for a short time. However, I am afraid of dogs and I had a lot of trouble.One day I tried to deliver some letters to a big house.I started to open the gate and all of a sudden a huge dog ran towards me.It growled and barked at me, I threw the letters over the fence. The dog picked them up and carried them into the house. The dog was a better mailman than I was!短的英语笑话故事篇12good news and bad newstheres good news and bad news, the divorce lawyer told his client.i could sure use some good news, sighed the client. whats it?your wife isnt demanding that your future inheritances be included in the settlement.and the bad news?after the divorce, shes marrying your father.短的英语笑话故事篇13After my husband,John,and I moved to Michigan fromNebraska,our new friends,proud of their beautiful tree一lined roads,teased us about the Midwests dull,flat,treeless land. When my parents,Nebraska farmers,visited us,I asked them about their trip.What a boring drive,my father replied.Once you get to Michigan, theres nothing to see but trees.。
短的英语笑话故事大全(精选10篇)笑话具有篇幅短小,故事情节简单而巧妙,往往出人意料,给人突然之间笑神来了的奇妙感觉的特点。
大多揭示生活中乖谬的现象,具有讽刺性和娱乐性。
其趣味有高下之分。
接下来由小编为大家整理出短的英语笑话故事大全(精选10篇),仅供参考,希望能够帮助到大家!短的英语笑话故事1Where is your beard?After many years, a young Jewish Talmud student who had left the old country for America returns to visit the family. "But--where is your beard?" asks his mother upon seeing him. "Mama," he replies, "in America, nobody wears a beard." "But at least you keep the Sabbath?" "Mama, business is business. In America, everybody works on the Sabbath." "But kosher food you still eat?" "Mama, in America, it is very difficult to keep kosher." The old lady ponders this information and then leans over and whispers in his ear, "Isaac, tell me--you’re still circumcised?"短的英语笑话故事2They Didnt Have Nikes In Those DaysA young boy had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a minister, if they could discuss his use of the car. His father said to him, "Ill make a deal with you. You bring your grades up, study the bible a little, and get your hair cut, then well talk about it."A month later the boy came back and again asked his father if he could use the car. His father said, "Son, Im really proud of you. You brought your grades up, studied the bible well, but you didnt get your hair cut!"The young man waited a moment and then replied, "You know dad, Ive been thinking about that. Samson had long hair, Moses had long hair, Noah had long hair, and even Jesus had long hair."His father replied, "Yes son, and they walked everywhere they went."短的英语笑话故事3Polly Want a WHAT?This lady approaches a priest and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have these two talking female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing.""What do they say?" the priest asked."They only know how to say, Hi, we are prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?""Thats terrible!" the priest exclaimed, "But I have a solution to your problem. Bring your two talking female parrots over to my house and I will put them with my two male talking parrots who I have taught to pray and read the Bible. My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase and your female parrots will learn to pray and worship.""Thank you," said the lady.The next day, the lady brings her female parrots to the priests house. The priests two male parrots are holding rosary beads and praying in their cage.The lady puts her female talking parrots in with the male talking parrots and the female parrots say, "Hi, we are prostitutes! Do you want to have some fun?"One male parrot looks over to the other male parrot and screams, "Frank! Put the Bibles away--our prayers have been answered!"短的英语笑话故事4Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to Chinafromher visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directlyfromAmerica."短的英语笑话故事5Midway TacticsThree competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue.The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!"The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!"The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE".短的'英语笑话故事6Five Months OlderThe Second World War had begun, and John wanted to join the army, but he was only 16 years old, and boys were allowed to join only if they were over 18. So when the army doctor examined him, he said that he was 18.But John‘s brother had joined the army a few days before, and the same doctor had examined him too. This doctor remembered the older boy‘s family name, so when he saw John‘s p apers, he was surprised."How old are you?" he said."Eighteen, sir," said John."But your brother was eighteen, too," said the doctor. "Are you twins?""Oh, no, sir," said John, and his face went red. "My brother is five months older than I am."短的英语笑话故事7West PointMy father, brother and I visited West Point to see a football game between Army and Boston College. Taking a stroll before kickoff, we met many cadets in neatly pressed uniforms. Several visting fans asked the recruits if they would pose for photographs, "to show our son what to expect if he should attend West Point."One middle-aged couple approached a very attractive female cadet and asked her to pose for a picture. They explained, "We want to show our son what he missed by not coming to West Point."短的英语笑话故事8Be Careful What You Wish ForA couple had been married for 25 years and were celebrating their 60th birthdays, which fell on the same day.During the celebration a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple for all 25 years, she would give them one wish each.The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her hand, and Boom! She had the tickets in her hand.Next, it was the husband‘s turn. He paused for a moment, then sa id shyly, "Well, I‘d like to have a woman 30 years younger than me."The fairy picked up her wand, and Boom! He was ninety.短的英语笑话故事9Napoleon Was IllJack had gone to the university to study history, but at the end of his first year, his history professor failed him in his examinations, and he was told that he would have to leave the university. However, his father decided that he would go to see the professor to urge him to let Jack continue his studies the following year."He‘s a good boy," said Jack‘s father, "and if you let him pass this time, I‘m sure he‘ll improve a lot next year and pass the examinations at the end of it really well.""No, n o, that‘s quite impossible," replied the professor immediately. "Do you know, last month I asked him when Napoleon had died, he didn‘t know!""Please, sir, give him another chance," said Jack‘s father. "You see, I‘m afraid we don‘t take any newspaper in our house, so none of us even know that Napoleon was ill."短的英语笑话故事10He Was Only Wrong by TwoJack Hawkins was the football coach at an Amercian college, and he was always trying to find good players, but they weren‘t always smart enought to be acce pted by the college.One day the coach brought an excellent young player to the dean of the college and asked that the student be allowed to enter without an examination. "Well," the dean said after some persuasion, "I‘d better ask him a few questions first."Then he turned to the student and asked him some very easy questions, but the student didn‘t know any of the answers.At last the dean said, "Well, what‘s five times seven?"The student thought for a long time and then answered, "Thirty-six."The dean threw up his hands and looked at the coach in despair, but the coach said earnestly, "Oh, please let him in, sir! He was only wrong by two."。
英语幽默笑话笑话一:一只鸟的英语水平有一只鸟飞到了一家语言学校的窗户上,看到窗户上写着:“免费学习英语,从零开始。
”于是,它翘起了尾巴,挺起了胸脯,然后大声地说道:“Polly wants a cracker!”(小鹦鹉想要个饼干!)这时,里面的老师听到了声音,走过来看窗户,发现了一只鸟。
老师开玩笑说:“你来这里学习英语吗?”鸟点点头。
老师继续说:“那你可以念一句英文的经典名言吗?”鸟听后想了一下,然后顺利地说道:“Early to bed, early to rise, makes abird healthy, wealthy, and wise!”(早睡早起使鸟健康、富有和聪明!)老师忍不住惊讶地说:“哇,你的英语真是棒极了!你是怎么学会的?”鸟笑着回答:“Well, actually I learned English from none other than Polly the Parrot!”(嗯,其实我是从鹦鹉波利那里学的英语!)笑话二:失踪的手机一天晚上,一位英国中学生在回家的路上,不小心将他的手机掉在了路上。
等他发现手机丢了,已经回到家了,于是他告诉他的爸爸发生了什么事情。
爸爸安慰他说:“别担心,我帮你打个电话,看看能不能找到手机。
”于是爸爸打了个电话,手机立刻就响了起来,但是声音却传来的十分奇怪。
爸爸听后说:“嗨,我是XX的爸爸。
你找到了我儿子的手机吗?”手机那头传来一个陌生的声音:“是的,我找到了。
你是他爸爸吗?”爸爸回答:“是的,我是他爸爸。
”手机那头的声音又问:“那你能告诉我他的厕所在哪里吗?我正躲在这儿接你的电话呢!”笑话三:英语课上的问题一天在英语课上,老师问学生们一个问题:“如果今天是过去的昨天,明天是过去的明天,那么今天是星期几?”结果所有的学生都陷入了沉思,似乎没有一个学生能够回答出这个问题。
就在这时,一个学生举手回答道:“老师,今天是星期二。
”老师听后很惊讶地问他:“为什么你认为今天是星期二?”学生回答:“因为我们是星期一上的英语课!”笑话四:一个有趣的对话一位美国人和一位英国人在一家酒吧里坐在一起,开始聊天。
高中英语幽默笑话故事五篇有时候阅读一些幽默搞笑的英语故事,除了能让人产生兴趣更能提高英语阅读水平。
以下是小编给大家整理的关于高中英语幽默笑话故事,希望可以帮到大家关于高中英语幽默笑话故事<一>the wolf and the fox wanted to eat the rabbit, but it wasn't easy to catch him.one day the wolf said to the fox, "you go home and lie in bed. i'll tell the rabbitthat you are dead. when he comes to look at you, you can jump up and catch him." that's a good idea," said the fox.he went home at once. the wolf went to the rabbit's house and knocked at the door. "who is it?" asked the rabbit. "it's the wolf. i've come to tell you that the fox is dead." then the wolf went away.the rabbit went to the fox's house. he looked in through the window and saw the fox lying in bed with his eyes closed. he thought, "is the fox really dead or is he pretending to be dead? if he's not dead, he'll catch me when i go near him." so he said, "the wolf says that the fox is dead. but he doesn't look like a dead fox. themouth of a dead fox is always open." when the fox heard this, he thought, "i'll show him that i'm dead." so he opened his mouth.the rabbit knew that the fox wasn't dead, and he ran as quickly as he could.狼和狐狸想要吃掉兔子,但是这只兔子太难抓到了。
英文笑话多篇英文笑话5篇英文笑话(1)有一次,外宾Frank先生在中国某一著名景区旅游,完得很高兴。
参观完后,Frank先生请陪同的中国人李先生吃饭。
吃得差不多时,Frank先生用英语问李先生:Would you care for som“e more?(你还想再吃点吗?)李先生用英语回答:No, thanks I"m full.(不,我吃饱了。
)可是李先生发音不标准,把短元音[u]说成了长元音[ue],即把:“I"m full.说成了“I"m fool.”(我是傻子)。
令外宾大笑,笑得李先生不知所措。
中国某剧院正在上演京剧,已经客满没票了。
有位讲英语的外宾很喜欢中国的京剧,想进去看戏。
守门的人懂得一些英语,看到里面没座位,便用手挡着外宾说:“Sorry, full.”(对不起,满了。
)可是守门人发音不标准,把短元音[u]说成了长元音[ue],即把:“Sorry, full.”说成了“Sorry, fool.”(对不起,笨蛋)。
外宾听到守门人骂他“笨蛋”,非常生气,难道来晚了就是笨蛋。
[i] [ee]一个中国朋友和外国朋友一起练武比赛,外国朋友赢了,中国朋友对师傅说:“He beat me in the game.”(他在比赛中赢了我。
)可是中国朋友发音不标准,把长元音[ee]说成了短元音[i],即把:“He beat me in the game.”说成了“He bit me in the game.”(他在比赛中咬了我。
)师傅责备外国朋友:比赛不能咬人。
弄得外观朋友很冤枉。
[ere] [are]一位来北京旅游的英国人Blake先生爬长城时,口干舌燥,又累又渴。
这时Blake 听到导游提议去beer house(啤酒馆),心想马上可以喝到啤酒了,心里十分感激。
可是后来导游却把他带到一个bear house(熊舍),看熊表演,让Blake大失所望。
原来导游把bear[bare](熊)说成了beer[bere](啤酒)。
超简短的英文笑话超简短的英文笑话(精选5篇)超简短的英文笑话1On the way home after watching a ballet performance, the kindergarten teacher asked her students what they thought of it. The smallest girl in the class said she wished the dancers were taller so that they would not have to stand on their toes all the time.在观看完芭蕾舞表演回家的路上,幼儿园老师问学生的观后感。
班上最小的女孩说,她希望舞蹈演员可以长得更高一点儿,那么他们就不用整天踮着脚尖了。
超简短的英文笑话2Professor: When is your birthday?Kid: May 30.Professor: Which year?Kid: Every year.教授:你的生日是什么时候?孩子:5月30日。
教授:哪一年?孩子:每年都是。
超简短的英文笑话3Before the final examination, T om told his mother, "Mom, I had a dream last night that Id passed todays exam.""Dont trust dreams, dear. It is said what you experience in dreams usually turns out to be the opposite." Mother replied."Then I do hope Ill fail the other subjects in my dream tonight," Tom said.在期末考试之前,汤姆告诉他的母亲:“妈妈,我昨天晚上做了一个梦,梦见我通过了今天的考试。
英语爆笑笑话5篇带翻译超搞笑的下面是店铺整理的英语爆笑笑话5篇,欢迎大家阅读!英语爆笑笑话一:Hospitality好客The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-piewithout any cheese.由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时,家里没有奶酪了,于是女主人向大家表示歉意。
The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returnedwith a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate.这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。
过了一会儿,他拿着一片奶酪回到房间,把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。
The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You musthave better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?"客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说:“孩子,你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。
你在哪里找到的奶酪?”"In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy.“在捕鼠夹上,先生。
”那小男孩说。
英语爆笑笑话二:太黑了,看不见After supper, the parents were busy playing mah-jong with the guests. At this point the mother thought of something and said to her son who was watching TV, "Honey, go see if the kitchen light is on or not?" After a while, her son returned and said, "Ma, the kitchen is so dark that I cannot see it at all."晚饭后,父亲和母亲都忙着和客人玩麻将,这时母亲忽然想起点儿事来,便对正在看电视的儿子说道:“宝贝,去看看厨房里的灯是不是还开着呢?”过了一会儿,儿子回来说:“妈,厨房里太黑了,我根本就看不见。
英语幽默笑话(优秀10篇)英国人有他们独特的英式幽默,他们流传的英语冷笑话让人会心一笑,今天,小编给同学们收集、整理了几则特别有趣的英语冷笑话,希望大家能开心开心,一起来看看吧! 篇一一、The little girl did not like the look of the barking dog.It#39;s all right, said a gentleman, don#39;t be afraid. Don#39;t you know the proverb: Barking dogs don#39;t bite?Ah, yes, answered the little girl. I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?一个小女孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。
“没有关系,”一位先生说,“不用害怕,你知道这条谚语吗:吠狗不咬人。
;”“啊,我是知道,可是狗也知道吗?”二、One student to another: How are your English lessons coming along?Fine. I used to be one who couldn#39;t understand the English men, and now it#39;s the English men who can#39;t understand me.一位学生对另一位说:“你的英语最近学的怎么样?”“很好,我过去不懂英国人说话,可现在是英国人不懂我的话了。
”三、An old lady who was very deaf and who thought everything too dear, went into a shop and asked the shopman:#39; How much this stuff?#39;#39;Seven dollars, Madam, it is very cheap.#39;The lady said, #39;It is too much, give it to me for fourteen.#39;#39;I did not say seventeen dollars, but seven.#39;#39;It is still too much,#39; replie()d the old lady, #39;give it to me for five.#39;一位耳聋并且总是嫌东西太贵的老太太走进一家商店。
英语搞笑笑话6篇幽默寓于笑话之中,它是笑话的精料,智慧之所在。
笑话是幽默的载体,一个成功的笑话能流传千古。
下面是店铺整理的英语搞笑笑话,欢迎大家阅读!英语搞笑笑话一:How can I get into heaven 我怎么才能上天堂"If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the poor, would I get into heaven?" I asked the children in my Sunday school class."No!" the children all answered."If I cleaned the church everyday, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would I get into heaven?"Again, the answer was, "No!""Well, " I continued, "then how can I get into heaven?"A five-year-old boy shouted out, "You gotta be dead!"“如果我把房子和车卖了,在车库举行义卖, 并把所有的钱给穷人,我能进天堂吗?”我问主日学校的孩子。
孩子们齐声回答:“不能!”“那如果我每天都打扫教堂,给院子的草坪割草,并且把东西都收拾得干净整洁,我会上天堂吗?”回答还是:“不能!”“好吧,”我继续问, “那我要怎样才能升天堂呢?”一个五岁的男孩儿叫道:“你得死了才行!”英语搞笑笑话二:I Want Her to go NutsMrs. Flinders decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, "Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets and a ruby pendant.""But you're not wearing any of those things.""I know," said Mrs. Flinders." It's in case I should die beforemy husband. I'm sure he'd remarry right away, and I want her to go nuts looking for the jewelry."福林德斯夫人决定让人给她画肖像。
笑话英语作文(通用5篇)笑话英语作文 1there was a cave full of lots of vampire bats. once, a bat called andy came home late and there was of blood all over his body. all of his friends and family asked him where the blood came from, and asked him to take place. he didnt want to tell them at first, but after a while, he said follow me, folks. then they flew over a valley, crossed a river, and stopped in front of a stone. andy asked do you guys see that tree? and his friends all answered yes and then andy said i didnt.笑话英语作文 2The famous Dr. Smith,dean of Medical College,was appointed private physician to the King. Whereupon he proudly wrote the following notice on the blackboard of his classes:“Professor Smith informs his students that he has been appointed Honorary Physician to Hi s Majesty the King.”When he returned to his classroom in the afternoon,he found written below his notice this line: "God save the King”笑话英语作文 3Once, there was a tourist who visited a small town for the first time. He walked around, admiring the beautiful scenery and unique architecture. As he walked, he saw a sign that said, "Free Cake!" Excited, he followed the sign and found himself at a local bakery. The baker, a kind old man, greeted him with a smile and offered him a delicious cake. The tourist, delighted, thanked the baker and took a bite of the cake. It was so good that he couldnt help but ask, "Why is this cake free?"The baker chuckled and replied, "Well, its not really free. Youhave to pay for it with a story."The tourist was confused. "A story? What kind of story?"The baker explained, "Every time someone takes a cake from me, they have to tell me a story about their life. Its my way of connecting with people and hearing their tales."The tourist thought for a moment and then began to tell the baker about his travels and adventures. He talked about the beautiful places he had seen and the interesting people he had met. The baker listened intently, occasionally nodding and smiling.When the tourist finished his story, the baker clapped his hands and said, "That was a wonderful story! You have earned your cake." The tourist smiled and thanked the baker again. As he walked out of the bakery, he realized that the best part of his trip wasnt the scenery or the architecture, but the connections he had made with the people he met.And so, he continued his journey, always looking for new adventures and new stories to share.笑话英语作文 4In a small town, there was a community garden where residents could grow their own vegetables. One sunny afternoon, an elderly gentleman named Mr. Smith decided to water his plants. He grabbed the hose and started watering his tomatoes, carrots, and cucumbers.As he was watering, he noticed a young boy running towards the garden with a bucket of water. The boy looked excited and eager to help. Mr. Smith smiled and waved at the boy, thinking it was nice to see young people interested in gardening.The boy came up to Mr. Smith and said, "Hello, sir! Im here to water the plants!"Mr. Smith replied, "Thats great, young man! Go ahead and water the plants over there."The boy nodded and started watering the plants next to Mr. Smith. However, he seemed to be having a bit of trouble with the bucket. It kept spilling water everywhere, and he kept stumbling over it.Mr. Smith watched with a chuckle and decided to offer some advice. "Maybe you should try holding the bucket more steady, young man."The boy looked up at Mr. Smith with a confused expression and said, "But Im not holding the bucket, sir. Its following me!"Mr. Smith looked down and realized that the boy was actually wearing the bucket as a helmet! He had holes drilled in it for his ears and a strap around his chin to keep it in place.Mr. Smith burst out laughing and patted the boy on the back. "Well, thats certainly a unique way to water the plants! You must be the most creative gardener in the community!"The boy smiled proudly and continued watering the plants, bucket helmet and all.笑话英语作文 5In a quiet suburban neighborhood, there was a park where residents often gathered to relax and enjoy the peaceful atmosphere. One day, a young girl named Emily noticed a squirrel running around the park, gathering nuts and acorns. She decided to follow the squirrel to see where it was going.Emily followed the squirrel through the park, across the street, and into a nearby yard. The squirrel seemed to be leading her somewhere, and she was curious to see where it would end up.As they entered the yard, Emily noticed a man in a weird-lookingsuit standing near a tree. He had a pair of binoculars around his neck and was holding a clipboard. Emily thought he looked like a scientist or a researcher.The squirrel ran up to the man and stopped, as if it was waiting for something. The man looked down at the squirrel, smiled, and then reached into his pocket and pulled out a nut. He handed it to the squirrel, and it quickly ran off with it.Emily was confused. She walked up to the man and asked, "Excuse me, sir, but why are you giving nuts to that squirrel?"The man turned and looked at Emily with a surprised expression. "Oh, hello there! Im actually a squirrel behavior researcher. Im studying how squirrels interact with humans and their environment." Emily was intrigued. "Really? Can I help?"The man smiled and nodded. "Sure! Why dont you try handing a nut to the squirrel and see what it does?"Emily took a nut from her pocket and carefully approached the squirrel. She held out the nut, and the squirrel quickly came up to her and took it in its mouth. Then, it turned and ran back to the man.Emily was amazed. "That was so cool! It actually came to me!" The man chuckled and explained, "Squirrels are very intelligent animals. They can recognize faces and even remember who has given them food before. Thats why it came to you."Emily felt special and excited. She thanked the man for his help and decided to continue observing the squirrels behavior. As she walked away, she noticed that the squirrel was following her, as if it wanted to show her more of its world.Emily smiled and whispered to the squirrel, "I think were goingto be good friends."。
英语小幽默笑话一、教室里的笑话一天,小明走进教室,发现黑板上写着一行字:“I'm very good!(我很好!)”于是他皱了皱眉,拿起粉笔在旁边写了一行字:“I'm good too, thank you!(我也很好,谢谢!)”当小明坐下时,他才发现旁边的黑板上写着:“I'm a blackboard!(我是一个黑板!)”二、动物园里的笑话John 去动物园里参观。
他走到狮子旁边,然后用手指挖狮子笼子外面一点点的土。
突然,狮子怒吼一声,跳到笼子外面。
John 吓得立刻跑了起来。
然而,狮子并没有追赶他,反而开始用爪子挖土,好像在等待什么。
John 一边跑一边回头看,这时突然明白过来,原来狮子是在等着他掏出足够多的土,这样狮子就可以把他的手指当早餐了。
三、医院里的笑话将军身体不适,于是他去了医院。
医生给将军把脉后说:“将军,您需要多休息,少工作。
”将军愤怒地说:“我是将军,我必须站在最前线,为国家效力!”医生点点头,继续说道:“我明白了,将军。
那么我们就把床移到最前线吧!”四、旅行的笑话一个美国人,一个英国人和一个中国人一起参加了一个环球旅行团。
当他们来到一个孤岛时,他们被困在那里了。
他们决定每人去找各自国家的救援。
一个月后,美国人挨饿了,但看到了一点希望。
他用信号枪向天空发出了SOS。
几天后,一架直升飞机来把他救走了。
两个月后,英国人饿得快死了,但他坚信救援一定会来。
于是他写了一封希望的信并抛入大海。
几天后,一个军舰把他救了起来。
而中国人一直没有食物,他只好靠椰子充饥。
六个月后,他终于爬到了岛的最高峰,大喊一声:“我是第一批到达这个岛屿的人!”五、餐厅里的笑话一位顾客走进餐厅,服务员领他坐下,然后递给他菜单。
一会儿,服务员走过来问:“先生,您想点什么?”顾客犹豫了一下,然后说道:“给我请一个有人性的厨师。
”服务员笑笑,离开了。
等了一会儿,服务员回来了,手上端着一个镜子。
他把镜子递给顾客说:“先生,这是我们厨师的倒影。
[11则英文爆笑故事]英文笑话带翻译爆笑11则英文爆笑故事11则英文爆笑故事英文爆笑故事1:Workman:“Mr.Brown,I should like to ask for a smallrise in my wages. I have just been married.” Employer:“Very sorry,my dear man,but I can“t helpyou. For accidents which happen to our workmen outside thefactory we are not responsible.” 工人:“布朗先生,我想请您给我加一点工资。
我刚刚结了婚。
” 雇主:“非常抱歉,老兄,但是我无能为力。
对工人在厂外发生的事故我们概不负责。
” 英文爆笑故事2:Seth Smith was reckoned the laziest man in town. Sotired had the authorities become of contributing to his supportthat they decided to consign him to a living tomb. Accordinglyhe was prepared for burial. The hearse was an old ramshacklecountry wagon. As the strange cortege moved along some old residentasked,“Who is it” “Why,Seth Smith,who is too lazy to get anything to liveon,so we are going to bury him alive.” “I“ll give him a bushel of corn,” said one.“And I will,”said another. Slowly raising his head,Seth asked:“Is the corn shelled,neighbor” “No,you must do that yourself.” Gently replacing his head,he said:“ Drive on,boys,drive on.” 塞思·史密斯被公认为镇上头号懒人。
经典英语笑话6篇英语笑话是指以一句英文短语或一个英文故事让说话者和听者之间觉得好笑,或是产生幽默感,笑话是一种经过艺术加工的语言形式,是艺术化的语言,笑话是一种艺术方法。
下面是店铺整理的英语爆笑笑话,欢迎大家阅读!英语笑话一:我要做的一切就是付钱!All I do is pay"My family is just like a nation," Mr. Brown told his colleague. "Mywife is the minister of finance, my mother-in-law is the minister of war,and my daughter is foreign secretary.""Sounds interesting, " his colleague replied. "And what is yourposition?""I’m the people. All I do is pay."布朗先生告诉同事说:“我的家简直就象一个国家一样。
我妻子是财政部长。
我岳母是作战部长,我女儿是外交秘书。
”“听上去挺有意思的,”他的同事说,“那你的职务是什么呢?”“我就是老百姓。
我要做的一切就是付钱。
”英语笑话二:喂狗 For the DogThe family seated in a restaurant had finished their dinner when Father Called over the waiter."My son has left quite a lot of meat on his plate," explained Father, "Could you give me a bag so that I can take it home for the dog?""Gosh, Dad!" exclaimed the excited boy. "Have we got a dog then?"一家人在饭馆里吃过晚饭,父亲把服务生叫了过来。
关于英文小笑话故事大全英语的笑话故事简短关于英文小笑话故事大全关于英文小笑话故事大全关于英文小笑话故事篇一瞎子的判断Once there was a blind. One day when he was walking, he stepped the head of the dog who was sleeping. The dog barked for a while. The blind man went on for miles, this time he stepped the other dog“s tail, so this dog barked. The blind man had thought that it was the first dog, so he said in surprise, It“s a wonder that the dog is so long. 从前有个瞎子。
一天,他正在行路时踩着了一只正在睡觉的狗的脑袋,狗汪汪汪地叫了一阵。
这人又往前走,这回踩着的是另外一只狗的尾巴,狗又汪汪汪地叫起来。
瞎子以为还是那条狗,惊诧地说:奇怪,这只狗可真够长的。
关于英文小笑话故事篇二我没有看到另外一块Mother: I left two pieces of cake in the cupboard this morning, Johnny, and now there is only one piece left. Can you explain thatJohnny: Well, I suppose it was so dark that I didn’t notice the other. 妈妈:约翰尼,我今天早上在橱子里放了两块点心。
现在就剩下一块了。
你能解释一下吗约翰尼:嗯,我想是因为里面太黑我没看到另外那块。
关于英文小笑话故事篇三铅笔he Astronaut Pen During the heat of the space race in the 1960s, the U.S. National Aeronautics and Space Administration decided it needed a ball point pen to write in the zero gravity confines of its space capsules. After considerable research and development, the Astronaut Pen was developed at a cost of approximately $$1 million U.S. The pen worked and also enjoyed some modest success as a novelty item back here on earth. The Soviet Union, faced with the same problem, used a pencil. 在二十世纪六十年代,美国和苏联正处于太空竞赛的白热化阶段,美国航空航天局决定研制一种圆珠笔,以便在太空舱重力为零的环境下仍然可以书写。
英文笑话带翻译爆笑_50个英语笑话爆笑超短爆笑英文笑话带翻译篇一笨小孩A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer ..., “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.一个小男孩走进一家理发店,理发师低声对他的顾客说,“我再也没见过比这个小子更笨的小孩了,你看着,我证明给你看。
”" The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks,"Which do you want, son?" The boy takes the quarters and leaves.理发师拿出一张1美元的钞票放在一只手上,另一只手上则拿着两个25美分的硬币,把小孩叫跟前问,“你想要哪只手上的?” 男孩拿走了那两个25美分然后走了。
"What did I tell you?" said the barber."That kid never learns!" Later,“瞧我刚才怎么跟你说的?”when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store.理发师说,“那小子就不会学精点!” 过了一会,顾客离开了理发店,他发现刚才那个小男孩从一间雪糕店走出来。
"Hey, son! May I ask you a question?“嘿,小家伙! 我可以问你个问题吗?Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?"你为什么不拿那一美元,而拿那两个25 美分呢?”The boy licked his cone and replied, "Because the day I take the dollar, the game's over!小男孩舔了一口手上的雪糕回答说,“我要是拿了那一美元的钞票,以后那剪头的再也不会给我钱了!”爆笑英文笑话带翻译篇二五百遍In the traffic court of a large mid-western city,在中西部一个大城市的交通法庭里,a young lady was brought before the judge to answer a ticket given her for driving through ared light.一位年轻女士被带到法官面前,她由于开车闯红灯被开了罚单。
关于英文笑话故事5篇_英语的笑话故事简短关于英文笑话故事5篇关于英文笑话故事篇一alieMom:"Whichbananadoyouwant,Victor"Victor:"Iwantthatoneofthegr eatet."Mom:"Victor,youhouldbepolite,tohavethatlittleone."Victor: "Mom,Imutlietobepolite"妈妈:“你要哪一只香蕉,维克多”维克多:“我要那只最大的。
”妈妈:“维克多,你应该懂礼貌,要那只小的。
”
维克多:“妈妈,难道懂礼貌就必须说谎吗”关于英文笑话故事篇二TwoBird两只鸟
Teacher:Herearetwobird,oneiawallow,theotheriparrow.Nowwhocantell uwhichiwhichStudent:IcannotpointoutbutIknowtheanwer.Teacher:Plea etellu.Student:Thewallowibeidetheparrowandtheparrowibeidethewall ow.老师:这儿有两只鸟,一只是麻雀。
谁能指出哪只是燕子,哪只是
麻雀吗学生:我指不出,但我知道答案。
老师:请说说看。
学生:燕子旁边的就是麻雀,麻雀旁边的就是燕子。
关于英文笑话故事篇三WhoItheLaziet谁最懒
Father:Well,Tom,Iakedtoyourteachertoday,andnowIwanttoakyouaqueti on.WhoithelazietperoninyourclaTom:Idon"tknow,father.Father:Oh,ye
,youdo!Think!Whenotherboyandgirlaredoingandwriting,whoitinthecla andonlywatchehowotherpeopleworkTom:Ourteacher,father.父亲:哎,
汤姆,今天我跟你们老师谈过,现在我想问你个问题。
你们班上谁最懒汤姆:我不知道,爸爸。
父亲:啊,不对,你知道!想想看,当别的孩子们都在做作业、写字时,谁在课堂上坐着,只是看人家做功课汤姆:我们老师,爸爸。
两年后,大乌龟对中乌龟说,“好吧,我猜他肯定不回来了,我们可以把它的咖啡喝掉了。
”正在这时,一个声音从门外传来,“你们要是喝了,我就不去。
”关于英文笑话故事篇五WhoiStupid谁愚蠢Ateacherwatryingtomakeueofherpychologycoure.Shetartedherclabyayi ng,"Everyonewhothinkyou"retupid,tandup!"LittleJohnnythentoodup.T heteacheraid,"Doyouthinkyou"retupid,Johnny""No,ma"am,butIhatetoe eyoutandingthereallbyyourelf!"一个老师在对学生们讲心理学,“谁认为自己蠢就站起来”她一开始就说。
小约翰尼站了起来。
“你认为你很蠢吗,小约翰尼”老师问。