英语作文分析解读
- 格式:doc
- 大小:23.50 KB
- 文档页数:4
小学英语写作例文赏析与分析英语写作是培养学生语言表达能力的重要环节之一。
通过写作,学生可以锻炼自己的思维能力、语言组织能力和创造力。
本文将赏析和分析一篇小学英语写作例文,探讨其中的亮点和值得改进之处,以期对小学生的英语写作有所启发和帮助。
例文如下:My FamilyI have a happy family. There are four people in my family: my father, my mother, my sister, and me. My father is a doctor. He works in a big hospital. He is very kind and helps many sick people. My mother is a teacher. She teaches English in a primary school. She is patient and loves her students. My sister is a student. She is in Grade 5. She is good at drawing and always helps me with my homework. I am a student too. I am in Grade 3. I like playing football and reading books. We love each other and often do activities together, such as going to the park, watching movies, and having family meals.I am proud of my family.这篇例文是一个小学生写的关于自己家庭的英语作文。
整篇文章用简单明了的语言描述了自己家庭的成员和各自的职业,以及他们之间的关系和共同的活动。
英语作文结果分析Result AnalysisThe results of the analysis show that there are several key findings that can be drawn from the data. Firstly, it is clear that there is a significant correlation between the two variables. This is evidenced by the strongpositive/negative relationship between the variables.Secondly, there are some interesting trends that can be observed in the data. For example, it appears that there is a clear pattern of increase/decrease in the variable over time. This suggests that there may be some underlying factors driving this trend.Furthermore, the analysis also indicates that there are certain outliers in the data that may need to be further investigated. These outliers could potentially have a significant impact on the overall results, so it is important to understand the reasons behind their presence in the data.In conclusion, the results of the analysis provide valuable insights into the relationship between thevariables. It is clear that there are some importantpatterns and trends that can be observed, and further investigation into the outliers is necessary to fully understand the data.结果分析分析结果表明,从数据中可以得出一些关键的发现。
英语作文是英语学习中的一个重要组成部分,它不仅能够锻炼学生的语言表达能力,还能提高他们的思维逻辑和创造力。
以下是对一篇英语作文的赏析,我们将从几个方面来分析这篇作文的优点和可能的改进之处。
1.主题明确:一篇好的英语作文应该有一个清晰且吸引人的主题。
这篇作文的主题非常明确,能够迅速抓住读者的注意力。
2.结构合理:作文的结构是其逻辑性的体现。
这篇作文采用了常见的引言主体结论结构,使得整篇文章条理清晰,逻辑性强。
3.语言流畅:语言的流畅性是衡量作文质量的一个重要标准。
这篇作文的语言自然流畅,用词恰当,句式多样,没有明显的语法错误。
4.内容丰富:作文的内容应该丰富且有深度。
这篇作文在阐述主题时,提供了丰富的例证和深入的分析,使得文章内容充实,有说服力。
5.观点鲜明:作者在作文中表达了自己的观点,并且观点鲜明,没有模棱两可的地方,这有助于读者更好地理解作者的意图。
6.创新性:虽然这篇作文遵循了传统的写作模式,但在某些方面展现了作者的创新思维,例如在论据的选择和论证方法上,作者能够跳出常规,提出新颖的观点。
7.情感表达:作文中的情感表达也是评价其质量的一个重要方面。
这篇作文在表达观点时,能够适当地融入情感色彩,使文章更加生动,更能打动读者。
8.改进建议:尽管这篇作文整体上质量很高,但仍有一些地方可以改进。
例如,可以进一步丰富论据,增加更多的数据支持或引用权威人士的观点,以增强文章的说服力。
此外,可以尝试使用更多的修辞手法,如比喻、排比等,以增强文章的表现力。
9.总结:总的来说,这篇英语作文是一篇优秀的作品,它展示了作者扎实的英语写作能力和深刻的思考。
通过不断练习和学习,相信作者能够在未来的写作中取得更大的进步。
通过这样的赏析,我们不仅能够学习到如何写出高质量的英语作文,还能够了解到如何对作文进行有效的评价和改进。
分析原因及看法英语作文Analysis of Reasons and Opinions。
In today's society, there are various issues and problems that need to be analyzed in order to find their causes and come up with solutions. In this essay, I will analyze the reasons behind a particular issue and providemy opinions on the matter.One of the most pressing issues in today's world is climate change. There are many factors that contribute to this problem, including deforestation, industrial pollution, and the burning of fossil fuels. Deforestation is a major cause of climate change because it reduces the number of trees that can absorb carbon dioxide from the atmosphere. Industrial pollution, such as the release of greenhouse gases and other pollutants, also contributes to climate change by trapping heat in the atmosphere. Additionally,the burning of fossil fuels, such as coal and oil, releases large amounts of carbon dioxide into the atmosphere,further exacerbating the problem.In my opinion, climate change is a serious issue that requires immediate action. It is important for individuals, governments, and businesses to take steps to reduce their carbon footprint and mitigate the effects of climate change. This can be done through the implementation of renewable energy sources, such as solar and wind power, as well asthe development of more sustainable practices inagriculture and industry. Additionally, it is crucial for governments to work together to create and enforce policies that will reduce greenhouse gas emissions and protect the environment.Another issue that needs to be analyzed is the problemof poverty. There are many factors that contribute to poverty, including lack of education, limited access to healthcare, and unequal distribution of wealth. Lack of education is a major cause of poverty because it limits individuals' ability to find stable employment and improve their economic situation. Limited access to healthcare also contributes to poverty, as individuals who cannot affordmedical care are more likely to suffer from illness and disability. Additionally, the unequal distribution ofwealth leads to a cycle of poverty, as those who arealready wealthy have more opportunities for economic advancement, while those who are poor struggle to make ends meet.In my opinion, poverty is a complex issue that requires a multifaceted approach to solve. It is important for governments and organizations to invest in education and healthcare in order to provide individuals with the tools they need to improve their economic situation. Additionally, it is crucial for policies to be put in place that will address the unequal distribution of wealth and provide support for those who are living in poverty. By working together to address these issues, we can create a more equitable society where everyone has the opportunity to thrive.In conclusion, there are many issues in today's world that require analysis in order to find their causes and come up with solutions. By examining the reasons behindthese issues and providing our opinions on the matter, we can work together to create a better world for future generations. It is important for individuals, governments, and organizations to take action in order to address these issues and create positive change.。
英语分析作文【优秀5篇】篇一:英语分析作文篇一“In places where the subway doesn’t extend (延伸到),where it’s difficult to change from one kind of transport to another, it’s so easy to get where you want to go with Mobike,” Hu Hong, 29, told AFP. She pedals (骑自行车) to her Shanghai real-estate (房地产) job.“在地铁线路覆盖不到的地方,很难换乘其他交通,用摩拜单车去你想去的地方就简单多了,”29岁的胡红(音译)在接受法新社采访时表示。
在上海从事房地产行业的她都是骑自行车去上班的。
However, the schemes have also led to problems such as illegal parking, vandalism (故意破坏) and theft.然而,这一计划也出现了一些问题,如非法停车,故意破坏和偷窃等。
篇二:英语分析作文篇二⑴话题关注度考研英语作文通常并非最热点,因为最热点也最容易被押中,对考生来说具有投机取巧的嫌疑,并不能真正的测试出考生的水平;此外,考题被押中也是命题的失败。
所以一般来说考研写作的话题会是当年的次重点,可能和最热点有关系,也可能没有关系。
⑵写作前身英语二是从20xx年开始设置的一门考试科目,但事实上它的历史并非如此短暂,它的前身是MBA,一提到这个很多人,尤其是学经济的小伙伴肯定都很熟悉了,有的人想多练练手,就把MBA的真题找出来做,但事实上MBA的真题并不需要做,因为事物的发展是一个逐渐成熟,逐渐发展壮大的过程,早些年的MBA的考题太过简单,不过建议大家,可以练习下MBA试卷的写作部分。
⑶图表作文考什么?众所周知,英语二的写作就是以图表作文的形式出现,那图表作文侧重于考查什么内容呢?在英语老师看来,大纲要求上表明了主要考察考生观察数据的能力。
分析英语作文
要分析一篇英语作文,可以从以下几个方面进行分析:
1. 主题:看清作文的主题是非常重要的,主题决定了文章的目的和核心内容。
可以思考作文所讲述的故事、阐述的观点或者探讨的问题是什么。
2. 结构:检查作文的结构是否合理、有条理。
观察段落之间是否有连贯的过渡,每个段落是否有明确的主题句和支持句。
3. 语法和拼写:审查文中的语法错误和拼写错误。
注意文章中是否有句子结构错误、主谓一致错误、时态错误等。
4. 词汇和表达:注意作者在文章中选择的词汇是否准确、恰当。
同时,也可以关注作者使用的句式和表达方式是否生动、有趣,是否能够吸引读者。
5. 逻辑和连贯性:检查文章的逻辑是否清晰,是否能够理解作者的思维过程和观点。
同时也要注意作文的连贯性,段落和句子之间是否紧密联系、有逻辑关联。
6. 内容丰富度:评估文章的内容丰富度和信息深度。
关注作者是否提供了足够的细节、例子和证据来支持自己的观点。
7. 创意和独特性:分析作文的创意和独特性。
检查作者是否有独特的观点、见解或者想法,以及是否能够将其在文章中充分表达出来。
8. 整体印象:最后,给出对作文的整体印象和评价。
注意观察作文的长处和不足之处,提出建议或改进意见。
以上是一份分析英语作文的参考指南,可以根据具体的情况和需求进行调整和完善。
英语作文典型案例分析In recent years, the issue of air pollution has become a major concern in many cities around the world. This problem not only affects the environment but also poses serious health risks to the people living in these areas. In this essay, I will analyze a typical case of air pollution in a city and discuss the possible solutions to this problem.Let's take the city of Beijing as an example. Beijinghas been notorious for its severe air pollution, especially during the winter months. The main culprit for this issueis the high level of particulate matter in the air, whichis mainly caused by the burning of coal for heating and industrial activities. This has led to a situation wherethe air quality in Beijing often reaches hazardous levels, posing a significant threat to the health of its residents.To address this issue, the Chinese government has implemented various measures to reduce air pollution in Beijing. These measures include strict regulations on industrial emissions, the promotion of clean energy sources, and the implementation of vehicle emission standards. Additionally, the government has also invested heavily inthe development of public transportation and the expansion of green spaces in the city.Despite these efforts, air pollution in Beijing remains a significant problem. One of the main reasons for this is the sheer size of the city and the high demand for energy. As a result, it is clear that more needs to be done to tackle this issue effectively.One possible solution to this problem is to further promote the use of clean energy sources, such as solar and wind power. This would not only reduce the reliance on coal but also help to mitigate the impact of air pollution on the environment. In addition, stricter enforcement of emission standards for vehicles and industries is essential to ensure that air quality is maintained at a safe level.In conclusion, air pollution is a complex issue that requires a multi-faceted approach to resolve. While the case of Beijing illustrates the challenges associated with this problem, it also highlights the potential solutions that can be implemented to improve air quality in cities. By taking proactive measures to reduce emissions andpromote clean energy, it is possible to create a healthier and more sustainable urban environment.中文翻译:近年来,空气污染问题已成为世界许多城市的主要关注焦点。
英语分析作文〔优秀10篇〕英语分析作文篇一俗话说“千里之行始于足下〞。
英语书面表达能力的形成不是一日之功,必须从平时的课堂学习一点一滴抓起,持之以恒。
一篇优秀的英语作文在内容和语言两方面应是一个统一体,任何一方面的欠缺都会直接影响到作文的质量。
然而,很多考生在写作中或者由于粗心大意,或者由于根本功不扎实而经常出现名词不变复数、第三人称单数不加s,前后不一致,以及时态语态、句子完整性等方面的错误。
1.审题不清如20某某年中考作文要求写一项最喜欢的课外活动,有些考生将作文的主题定位为“我最喜欢的活动〞,偏离了“一项、课外活动〞这一主题。
依据作文的评分原那么,假设文章内容不切题,那么不管语言如何标准、用词如何准确,都会被判为零分。
2.拼写错误拼写是考生应该具备的最起码的根本功,但在考生的作文中却经常能发现很多拼写错误。
有拼写错误的作文肯定会被酌情扣分,而且有大量拼写错误存在的作文不仅表达出语言根本功差,同时也直接影响内容的表达,通常会降低作文的档次。
3.名词单复数问题误:my father and my mother is all teacher。
正:my father and my mother are both teachers。
4.缺少动词在汉语中没有动词的句子是允许的,但英语中每个完整的句子都必须有动词来构成,如:“我累了。
〞这个句子没有动词作谓语,而用形容词,但英语形容词不能作谓语,一定要写成:i'm tired。
误:i happy i can come to beijing zoo。
正:i am happy i can come to beijing zoo。
误:the apples cheap. i'll take some。
正:the apples are cheap.i'll take some。
5.缺少介词、冠词等还有一些考生因为没有熟练掌握介词或者冠词的用法,不了解中英文语言习惯的不同,也会出现明显的错误,造成丢分现象。
如何分析一篇优秀的英语作文范文全文共3篇示例,供读者参考篇1How to Analyze an Excellent English Essay SampleAs an English student, one of the best ways to improve your writing skills is by studying and analyzing excellent essay samples. These model essays serve as a guide, providing insights into proper structure, language usage, and effective argumentation. In this essay, I will share my approach to analyzing an outstanding English essay sample, breaking down the process into several key steps.Step 1: Understand the Prompt and Essay TypeBefore diving into the analysis, it's crucial to comprehend the essay prompt or question that the sample is addressing. Different essay types, such as argumentative, expository, or narrative, have distinct structures and requirements. Identifying the essay type will help you understand the writer's approach and the expectations for that specific genre.Step 2: Examine the IntroductionThe introduction is the gateway to the essay, and awell-crafted one can captivate the reader's attention and provide a clear roadmap for the rest of the piece. When analyzing the introduction, look for the following elements:Attention-grabbing hook: An effective hook, such as a thought-provoking quote, a striking statistic, or an intriguing anecdote, can immediately engage the reader.Background information: The introduction should provide enough context and background information to familiarize the reader with the topic without overwhelming them with excessive details.Thesis statement: The thesis statement is the backbone of the essay, clearly stating the main argument or purpose. It should be concise, specific, and debatable (for argumentative essays).Step 3: Analyze the Body ParagraphsThe body paragraphs are where the writer develops and supports their argument or central idea. When examining the body paragraphs, consider the following aspects:Topic sentences: Each body paragraph should begin with a clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea of that paragraph and ties it back to the thesis statement.Evidence and examples: Strong body paragraphs provide relevant and compelling evidence, such as facts, statistics, expert opinions, or real-life examples, to support the claims made in the topic sentence.Analysis and explanation: In addition to presenting evidence, the writer should analyze and explain how the evidence supports their argument, establishing clear connections between the evidence and the main point.Transitions and flow: Well-written essays use transitional phrases and logical flow to guide the reader smoothly from one idea to the next, ensuring coherence and clarity throughout the body paragraphs.Step 4: Evaluate the ConclusionThe conclusion is the final impression the reader will have of the essay, so it's essential to analyze its effectiveness. A strong conclusion should:Restate the thesis: The writer should reaffirm the main argument or central idea without simply repeating the thesis statement verbatim.Summarize key points: The conclusion should succinctly summarize the main points or arguments presented in the body paragraphs.Leave a lasting impact: The conclusion should provide a sense of closure and leave the reader with a memorable final thought, such as a call to action, a thought-provoking question, or a powerful statement that reinforces the essay's main message.Step 5: Assess Language and StyleWhile content and structure are crucial, an excellent essay also exhibits a mastery of language and style. When analyzing the language and style, consider the following elements:Word choice: The writer should use precise and vivid vocabulary that effectively conveys their intended meaning and enhances the overall impact of the essay.Tone and voice: The tone and voice should be consistent with the essay's purpose and intended audience, whether it's formal, informal, persuasive, or informative.Sentence structure: Effective essays employ a variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences, to create a natural flow and maintain the reader's interest.Grammar and mechanics: Proper grammar, spelling, and punctuation are essential for clear and effective communication. The essay should be free of errors that could distract or confuse the reader.Step 6: Reflect and Apply Lessons LearnedAfter thoroughly analyzing the excellent essay sample, take the time to reflect on the lessons learned and consider how you can apply them to your own writing. Ask yourself:What strengths or techniques did the writer employ that you can incorporate into your essays?Were there any areas where the essay could have been improved, and how can you avoid similar weaknesses in your writing?How can you adapt the effective strategies from the sample to suit your own writing style and the specific requirements of your assignments?By carefully studying and analyzing outstanding English essay samples, you can gain valuable insights into the art of effective writing. This process will not only deepen your understanding of essay structure, argumentation, and language usage but also inspire you to elevate your own writing skills, enabling you to craft compelling and impactful essays.篇2How to Analyze an Exemplary English EssayAs an English student, one of the most valuable skills we can develop is the ability to critically analyze exemplary pieces of writing. By closely examining the elements that make an essay stand out, we can not only deepen our understanding of effective writing techniques but also gain insights that can elevate our own compositions. In this essay, I will share my approach to analyzing an exemplary English essay, covering aspects such as structure, language use, argumentation, and stylistic elements.Structure: The Foundation of a Well-Organized EssayThe structure of an essay is like the skeletal framework that holds everything together. An exemplary essay typically follows a clear and logical structure, with an engaging introduction thatcaptures the reader's attention, a well-developed body that presents the main arguments and supporting evidence, and a compelling conclusion that leaves a lasting impression.When analyzing the structure, I pay close attention to the essay's organization and the transitions between paragraphs and ideas. A well-structured essay should have a natural flow, guiding the reader seamlessly from one point to the next. I also examine the thesis statement, which should be concise, focused, and reflective of the essay's central argument or purpose.Language Use: The Power of Effective CommunicationLanguage is the medium through which ideas are conveyed, and an exemplary essay showcases a mastery of language use. When analyzing an essay's language, I focus on several key elements:Vocabulary: An exemplary essay often employs a rich and diverse vocabulary, demonstrating the writer's command of the English language. I pay attention to the precision and appropriateness of word choices, as well as the use of figurative language and rhetorical devices that enhance the essay's impact.Sentence Structure: The way sentences are constructed can greatly influence the flow and readability of an essay. I examinethe variety of sentence structures employed, looking for a balance between simple and complex sentences, as well as the effective use of parallelism and other stylistic techniques.Tone and Voice: An exemplary essay should have a consistent and appropriate tone that aligns with its purpose and audience. I analyze the writer's voice, considering factors such as formality, objectivity, and the ability to engage the reader.Argumentation: The Art of PersuasionAt the heart of an exemplary essay lies a strong andwell-supported argument. When analyzing the argumentation, I focus on several key aspects:Thesis Statement: The thesis statement should be clear, concise, and reflective of the essay's central argument. I evaluate whether the thesis is effectively supported throughout the essay and whether it addresses the prompt or topic in a compelling manner.Evidence and Examples: Supporting arguments with relevant and credible evidence is crucial in an exemplary essay. I examine the types of evidence used, such as facts, statistics, expert opinions, and examples, and assess their relevance, accuracy, and effectiveness in supporting the main arguments.Counterarguments and Rebuttals: An exemplary essay often anticipates and addresses potential counterarguments, demonstrating the writer's ability to think critically and engage in nuanced reasoning. I analyze how effectively counterarguments are presented and rebutted, contributing to the overall persuasiveness of the essay.Stylistic Elements: The Artistic TouchWhile structure, language use, and argumentation form the foundation of an exemplary essay, stylistic elements can elevate it to a truly outstanding piece of writing. When analyzing stylistic elements, I consider:Rhetorical Devices: The effective use of rhetorical devices such as metaphors, similes, analogies, and rhetorical questions can enhance the essay's impact and engage the reader. I examine how these devices are employed and their effectiveness in supporting the essay's overall message.Imagery and Description: Vivid imagery and descriptive language can transport the reader into the essay's world, making the writing more engaging and memorable. I analyze the use of sensory details and descriptive techniques that contribute to the essay's vividness and appeal.Tone and Voice: As mentioned earlier, the tone and voice of an essay can greatly influence its impact on the reader. I assess the consistency and appropriateness of the tone, as well as the writer's ability to establish a unique and compelling voice throughout the essay.ConclusionAnalyzing an exemplary English essay is a multifaceted process that requires a critical eye and a deep understanding of effective writing techniques. By examining the structure, language use, argumentation, and stylistic elements, we can gain valuable insights into what makes a piece of writing truly exceptional. As students, developing this analytical skill will not only deepen our appreciation for exemplary writing but also contribute to our growth as writers, equipping us with the tools to craft our own compelling and impactful compositions.篇3How to Analyze an Outstanding English Essay SampleAs an English student, it's crucial to learn from the best examples out there. Analyzing excellent essay samples can provide invaluable insights into effective writing techniques, structure, and language use. However, simply reading throughthese exemplary pieces is not enough; you need to approach them with a critical eye and an analytical mindset. In this essay, I'll share my tried-and-true approach to dissecting outstanding English essays, which has helped me improve my own writing skills tremendously.Understand the Prompt and PurposeBefore diving into the analysis, it's essential to comprehend the prompt or assignment that the essay is addressing. What was the writer asked to do? Was it a persuasive essay, a narrative, or an analytical piece? Understanding the purpose and requirements of the essay will help you identify the strategies and techniques the writer employed to meet those expectations.Examine the StructureA well-crafted essay follows a logical and coherent structure, guiding the reader smoothly from the introduction to the conclusion. When analyzing an excellent sample, pay close attention to the organizational patterns employed by the writer.Introduction: How does the writer capture the reader's attention and provide a clear thesis statement or central argument?Body Paragraphs: How are the supporting ideas and evidence presented? Is there a clear topic sentence for each paragraph, followed by relevant details and examples?Transitions: How does the writer smoothly transition between ideas and paragraphs, maintaining a logical flow?Conclusion: Does the conclusion effectively summarize the main points and reinforce the thesis without introducing new information?Analyze the Language and StyleLanguage and style play a crucial role in effective writing. When examining an excellent essay sample, pay close attention to the writer's choice of words, tone, and stylistic devices.Vocabulary: Does the writer use a rich and varied vocabulary appropriate for the subject matter and intended audience? Are there any particularly vivid or memorable word choices?Tone: What is the overall tone of the essay? Does it remain consistent throughout, or does it shift appropriately with the content?Stylistic Devices: Identify any effective use of figurative language, such as metaphors, similes, or analogies. Also, look forrhetorical devices like repetition, parallel structure, or rhetorical questions.Evaluate the Evidence and SupportIn persuasive or analytical essays, the strength of the argument lies in the quality and relevance of the evidence and supporting details provided. When analyzing an excellent sample, critically assess the following aspects:Sources: Are the sources cited credible, reliable, andup-to-date? Does the writer effectively integrate and synthesize information from multiple sources?Examples and Illustrations: Do the examples and illustrations effectively support and clarify the writer's points? Are they relevant, specific, and well-explained?Counterarguments: In a persuasive essay, does the writer acknowledge and refute opposing viewpoints effectively?Consider the Overall ImpactFinally, step back and reflect on the overall impact and effectiveness of the essay. Ask yourself:Did the writer achieve the intended purpose and effectively convey their message or argument?Was the essay engaging, thought-provoking, and memorable?Did the writer demonstrate a strong command of the English language and a mastery of the specific writing genre or style?Remember, analyzing excellent essay samples is an ongoing process. As you continue to study and practice, your ability to identify and appreciate outstanding writing will improve. Don't be afraid to read the same sample multiple times, taking notes and reflecting on the writer's choices and techniques.By following this analytical approach, you'll not only gain a deeper understanding of what constitutes exceptional writing, but you'll also develop the skills and insights necessary to elevate your own English essays to new heights.。
有关文学作品分析文章的英语作文Literary Analysis: Unlocking the Secrets of Great Works Analyzing a literary work is like solving a complex puzzle. The reader must carefully examine the various elements - plot, characters, themes, style - to uncover the deeper meanings and messages woven into the text by the author.A strong analysis begins with a close reading of the work itself. What happens in the story? Who are the central characters and what motivates their actions? What ideas or themes emerge through the narrative? Astute readers will also pay attention to the author's writing style and techniques. How does the author's word choice, tone, imagery, and structure shape the reader's experience and understanding of the work?To support their interpretation, readers should cite specific evidence from the text itself. Relevant quotes and examples help illustrate and substantiate the key points of the analysis. It's also important to consider the historical, cultural, and biographical context surrounding the work. Understanding the influences and circumstances in which the author wrote can shed light on the piece's intended meaning and significance.Ultimately, a compelling literary analysis offers a fresh perspective on a creative work. By thoughtfully interpreting and critiquing the text, the reader arrives at a deeper appreciation for the author's vision and craftsmanship. In doing so, we uncover the power of literature to captivate, enlighten, and transform us.中文翻译:文学分析:解密伟大作品的奥秘分析一部文学作品就像在破解一个复杂的谜题。
英语作文分析解读英语作文分析解读今天我们来分析一段学生写的作文,这位学生水平不错,大概是六级通过的水平,但是文章中却出现了很多比较低级的错误,或者说可以改进的地方。
其中很多错误也是大多数同学在写作中曾经犯过或者可能犯的错误。
文章的题目为Today, people do not always work for the same job. Why does it happenand how do people prepare for job insecurity?下面选取的这一段是对第一个问题Why does it happen?的回应:学生作文①Several factors including advanced technology and distrust between bosses and employees contribute to the frequent change of jobs. ②Nowadays, the technology develops in a flash, as a result, there were many jobs replaced by the machines. ③For instance, most people who make their livings as typists were replaced by scanners,thus they have to change their work. ④Besides, people in this age have more access to education.⑤In this case, the competition for job is stressed. ⑥If one performs bad in his occupation , he will be replaced at once.这一段的段落结构并没有什么大问题。
第①句为段落中心句,概况整段。
②③和④⑤⑥分别为两个论点。
第③句还进行了举例论证。
结构上可以说是非常正确了。
但是仔细分析每句话的话就会发现很多问题。
接下来我们来一句一句的看:①Several factorsincluding advanced technology and distrust between bosses and employees contribute to the frequent change of jobs.1 段落第①句就犯了一个较为严重的问题:第①句话将段落当中两个论点(advanced technology对应段落中第一个factor;distrust between...对应第二个factor)的概况放在了including后面作为例子。
这里实际上是画蛇添足,因为several factors已经可以概括整段。
2 再来看内容。
这句话的谓语直接就是contribute,显得很绝对。
我们加上一个情态动词may,表明一种不确定的语气,使得行文更加严谨。
同时,advanced technology表达不准确。
作者要表示的很明显是“科技的快速发展”,而advanced technology的重心是technology,没有趋势的概念。
因此应改为technological advances/developments。
因此,我们可以将第一句话改为如下形式:Several factors maycontribute to people sfrequent job changes.②Nowadays, the technology develops in a flash, as a result, there were many jobs replaced bythe machines.1in a flash表示very quickly,但是放在这里就存在搭配不当的问题。
一般用rapidly来修饰develop。
2句子时态错误。
工作被机器替代是一个最近到现在一直存在的趋势,因此不能用过去式,可以改为现在完成式。
3 这句话在句子结构上也犯了一个很常见的错误:将表示关系的副词当成是连词来用。
as a result相当于一个副词结构,不能用来连接两个句子。
因此前面需要改成逗号“,”或句号“.”。
但是分成两句话很明显不够简洁,我们直接合成一句话:Therapidtechnological advances/developments haverenderedmany jobsobsolete.③For instance, most people who make their livings as typists were replaced by scanners,thus they have to change their work.1 most people who make their livings as typists中的make their living as显得很累赘,直接写most typists就可以了。
typists很明显是对上一句jobs 的举例,因此我们可以将for instance放在typists后面,即Most typists, for instance,...2 这句话用犯了一个同样的问题:将表示关系的副词当成是连词来用。
thus 是个副词,不能用来连接两个单独的句子,they have to change their work 在这句话中表示一个结果,因此我们用一个现在分词做结果状语,即“导致他们...(prompt/cause sb to do)”,同时增加句子结构的复杂性。
3 work可以换成occupation,表示职业。
因为这里更强调的应该是转行。
Most typists, for instance, are being/have been replaced by machines,prompting themto seek another occupation.④Besides, people in this age have more access to education.⑤In this case, the competition for job is stressed.1 Besides用的很好,可以表明这句话与上文的并列关系。
2 这两句话其实是存在一个因果关系的。
作者要表达的意思应该是“人们接受教育程度高了,因此找工作竞争大了”。
这两句话都是简单句,而且这一段没有用任何从句,因此我们可以在这地方用一个非限制性定语从句+mean表示结果,即 , which means that...3 stressed在这里也存在搭配不当的问题,stressed表示(人)压力大的。
(竞争)激烈的我们用fierce/stiffBesides, people in this age have more access to education, which meansthat the competition in the job market is fierce.⑥If one performs bad in his occupation , he will be replaced at once.1 这句话当中出现了一个绝大多数同学都会犯的问题。
当用one指一个人时,后面不能用he或they来代指one,只能重复用one,关于这一点,我在之前一篇文章中有提到过推荐一本很有用的英文写作工具书即If one performs bad in one s occupation , one will be replaced at once.但是这样的话,就会出现很多one。
为了避免这一问题,我们可以将主语one改为employee,因为这篇文章的出题就是跟员工有关的。
接下来再代指employee时,我们可以用he或he or she。
2 bad是一个形容词,不能放在perform后面。
应该改为perform badly/poorly 表现很差。
这句话中强调的是具体的工作,用occupation显然不合适,应改为job或者work。
3 这句话同样存在之前提到过的一个问题,即说法过于绝对(will be replaced at once)。
我们可以将will改为is likely to。
replace在前面出现过了,这里可以换成lay off(解雇)4 这句话与上一句应该是存在因果关系的,为加强前后之间的连接性,我们可以加上一个therefore。
Therefore, if an employeeperforms poorly/badly in his job, he is likely to be laid off.修改后的版本Several factors may contribute to people s frequent job changes. The rapid technological advances/developments have rendered many jobsobsolete. Most typists, for instance, are being/have been replaced by machines, prompting them to seek another occupation. Besides, people in this age have more access to education, which meansthat the competition in the job market is fierce. Therefore, if an employeeperformspoorly/badly in his job, he is likely to be laid off.。