Effective Sentences Reference

Rewrite the following passage, giving the sentences some variety in length and structure:
• I got up a little later than usual on Sunday morning. I washed and had a quick breakfast. Then I started going to town to buy the dictionary recommended by the teacher. At the school gate I saw Joey. I asked him if he was going to town too, and he said that he was. So we decided to go together. All the buses were crowded. We had to wait for a long time at the bus stop before we could get on a bus. An hour later we got off the bus at a busy street. There were three bookstores there. We went to the first one and didn’t find the dictionary. Then we went to the second one and the shop assistant said that the dictionary was sold out. I finally bought the dictionary at the third bookstore. After that Joey and I went to other stores and bought various things. We returned to school just in time for lunch.

Effective SentencesUnity 〔统一性〕Unity is the first quality of an effective sentence. It refers to two qualities: there is only one main idea in a sentence, and that idea is complete.1〕Born in a small town in South China in theearly 50s, he grew up to be a famous musician.2〕He is from Hebei, and I am 22years old nowCoherence 〔连贯性〕Coherence means clear and reasonable connection between parts.A sentence is coherent when its words or parts are properly connected and their relationship clear. To make your sentences coherent, you should keep the following in mind:Do not separate words that are closely related;Do not use a pronoun with ambiguous reference;Do not use a dangling modifier;Do not make confusing shift in person andnumber;Do not make unnecessary changes in tense, voice, or mood.1)A man is judged not only by what he says but also by hisdeeds.2)We thought she was charming, intelligent, and a verycapable young woman.3)We have great faith and high hopes for her.4)She told my sister that she was wrong.5)He was knocked down by a bike, but it was not serious.6)I read an interesting story in a magazine about sportsmen.Conciseness (简洁性)A sentence should contain no unnecessary words. If the idea if fully expressed, the fewer words are used, the better.Wordy:1)My father has returned back from Beijing.2)It is blue in colour.3)In my opinion, I think you are right.4)Mary is a quiet and careful woman.Concise:1)My father has come back from Beijing.2)It is blue.3)I think you are right.4)4) Mary is quiet and careful .Emphasis (有重点性)1.Placing: The end and the beginning , especially the end, of asentence usually attract readers' attention, soimportant elements of a sentence should be put atthese two places.1)Zhangjiajie, some tourists say, is in many ways moreinteresting than Shaoshan.2)Modest and hardworking, Wang Wei is a good student.2.Short sentences: Short sentences are more emphatic than longones, especially at the beginning or end of aparagraph, or in the midst of long sentences.The sky was overcast. A north wind was blowing.It threatened to rain at any moment. A gloomy day.3.Inverted sentences. They are emphaticbecause their unusual word order draws the reader'sattention:In rushed the noisy children.The poet was born poor, and poor he remained all his life.4.parallel constructions and balanced sentences.The politician is concerned with successful elections,whereas the statesman is interested in the future ofhis people.5.Periodic sentences: their climatic word ordermakes them emphatic.It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a singleman in possession of a good fortune must be in wantof a wife.6.Imperative 〔命令的〕and exclamatorysentences. They are naturally emphatic: Don'tmove!How wonderful.7.Rhetorical questions.〔反问句〕They arequestions in form but emphatic statements inmeaning:Didn't I tell you that you mustn't touch this machine?8.Negative-positive statements. They first pointout what is not the truth, and then what is. Thecontrast makes them emphatic:There were so many errors in the performance thatthe result was not a tragedy, but a comedy.9.Sentences with repeated words or phrases.Government of the people, by the people, for thepeople shall not perish from the earth.Bright, very bright, were the stars over the wild, darkYenan hills.The good old days were gone forever, could never begot back again.e verb instead of noun, active voice instead of passivevoice.The moment he saw ( not at the sight of) thedisorderly crowd, he knew (not was aware that)thatsomething bad would happen (not would be possible).We planted many trees yesterday. ( not Many treeswere planted yesterday>)11.Subordination (使用附属结构)：Subordinating a partof a sentence is a way of giving emphasis to the mainpart / idea of the sentence. This means putting aminor idea in a dependent element of the sentenceso as to give the main idea a prominent position:The professor walked into the classroom,carrying a bag of books with him. ( not Theprofessor walked into the classroom and he carrieda bag of books with him 力).12.Emphatic words and phrases.The director himself told me this news.This is the very dictionary I have been looking for. 13.Alliteration. It means the appearance of thesame consonant sound at the beginning of two ormore words, like 'busy as abee"The government was faced with the choice betweenthe ballot and the bullet.Varity 〔变化性〕： Variety is achieved when short sentences are used in between bong ones, simplesentences in between compound and complesones, periodic sentencesin between loose ones.An occasional question, command, or exclamation among statements may also be helpful.。

Do not use a dangling modifier or put a modifier far from the word it modifies.
Do not use different forms to express parallel ideas. E.g. Do not make unnecessary shifts in person and number, and the voice, tense or mood of verbs. E.g.
(Unity does not mean a writer can write only simple sentences.)
A long sentence expresses ideas that are closely connected. They are either ① A central idea supported or modified by various subordinate ideas, or ② Two or more related parallel ideas. e.g. The explorer who has just returned from the Antarctic is busy
Go on to p13 (after break)
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Effective Sentences
Aim: Qualities of an effective sentence and ways to achieve effectiveness. Correctness alone cannot make a good sentence because it may not express the idea it intends to express very clearly or forcefully. It has to be effective at the same time.

3. Revise repeating structures or compound predicates set off as sentences. Repeating elements and compound predicates cannot stand alone. Incorporate such structures into an existing sentence or add words to construct a new sentence. Fragment: College sports has long been conducted as a business. A profitable business. Revised: College sports has long been conducted as a business—a profitable business.Fragment: Some coaches achieve legendary status on campus. And are paid legendary salaries. Revised: Some coaches achieve legendary status on campus and are paid legendary salaries



Completeness of a sentence 1. Locate a verb. Every sentence has a verb. As you look for the sentence verb, disqualify verbals: verb forms ending in -ing: Eugene laughing to himself.verb forms ending in -ed: A suspected terrorist verb forms beginning with to: To visit the country Once you have located what you think is the sentence verb, see if you can change its ending by placing the pronouns I and she before it and by making it refer to both a past event and a present event. If the word changes form, it is a verb. 2. Locate the subject of the verb. Every verb in a sentence has a subject. Ask who or what makes the assertion or does the action implied by the verb; the answer will be the subject of the verb. 3. Check for subordinate conjunctions and relative pronouns.