生活大爆炸歌词

our whole universe was in a hot dense state,宇宙一度又烫又稠密then nearly fourteen billion years ago expansion started. wait...140亿年前终于爆了炸等着瞧... the earth began to cool,地球开始降温the autotrophs began to drool,自养生物来起哄neanderthals developed tools,穴居人发明工具we built a wall (we built the pyramids),我们建长城(我们建金字塔)math, science, history, unraveling the mysteries,数学自然科学历史揭开神秘that all started with the big bang!一切由大爆炸开始"since the dawn of man" is really not that long,其实人类历史没有多久as every galaxy was formed in less time than it takes to sing this song.星系形成时间比唱完这支歌还要短a fraction of a second and the elements were made.元素在微秒间便形成了the bipeds stood up straight,两足动物直立行走the dinosaurs all met their fate,恐龙都得认命了they tried to leap but they were late 想要突变没来得及and they all died (they froze their asses off)就死光光了(pp都冻成了化石)the oceans and pangea大洋和泛古陆see ya, wouldn't wanna be ya拜拜才不想学你set in motion by the same big bang!都是爆炸惹的祸it all started with the big bang!一切从大爆炸开始it's expanding ever outward but one day 宇宙向外膨胀但有一天it will cause the stars to go the other way,星球会反方向运动collapsing ever inward, we won't be here, it wont be hurt 向内坍塌反正我们不在了不会觉得疼our best and brightest figure that it'll make an even bigger bang!我们美好光辉的形象将引发一场更大的爆炸australopithecus would really have been sick of us 南方古猿肯定不爽我们debating out while here they're catching deer (we're catching viruses)在他们捉鹿时唧唧歪歪(我们现在捉电脑簿了)religion or astronomy, encarta, deuteronomy宗教天文e百科旧约申命记it all started with the big bang!一切从大爆炸开始music and mythology, einstein and astrology 音乐神化爱因斯坦占星术it all started with the big bang!一切从大爆炸开始it all started with the big bang!一切从大爆炸开始。

这是一首儿歌，原唱是Patsy Biscoe，估计是个专门唱儿歌的歌手。

sheldon 妈妈哄生病的小sheldon睡觉的这个Warm Kitty Soft Kitty就出自专辑《150 Favourite Nursery Rhymes》。

但我这里奉送的不是Patsy Biscoe版本的，而是粉丝有爱改编串唱版本，有点饶舌的风格。

这首歌的下载方法：只要将以下地址复制到“迅雷新建”面板即可。

下载地址：/file/201103/soft_kitty.mp3歌词送上：dear pennyi know im not a physicistbut i can re arrange the stars for a hug and a kisslet me speak to you, don't wanna be rajeshbut I'm fresh to death, hearts for your necklaceyou're my enchanted bunny, i got the carrot of powerhow weird is howard? lets leave here for an hourremember the time when sheldon cleaned your house?im a mystic warlord with a sword on my couchi don't want these particles to collide at lightspeedbut i might need an experiment with you next to mehypotheses isosceles triangledon't even like cheesecake but with you I will tangotake me to nebraska im down with footballi don't play with kites and im kind of tallnot a homunculus but i bust good rhymeslet's make a big bang and theorize infinite timeschorus:soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur. happy kitty, sleepy kitty,purr purr purri gotta admit i gotta thing for nerds.don't want to ruin it, spoiler alert!!im down wit that cat scanner you wanna buildi can tell from your style you're the head of your field.carry your green lantern any day of the week.flex your hulk hands and it makes me weak.using this music, medically speaking.at the comic book store sneaking n peakinglets chop up game about string cheese theoriesheroes always peek we've established this clearly.magic 1 2 8 on playstation, im a rockstarwhen you say bazinga,it makes me LOL hard.im a mad hatter, you're a mad scientisttesla did experiments near where i live.one thing's for certain, soft kitty's on your tunermuch luv to doctor sheldon lee cooper.亲爱的penny我知道我不是一个物理学家但我可以重新安排一个拥抱和一个吻星星让我跟你说话，不希望被拉杰什但我很新鲜的死刑，你的项链的心你是我的魔法兔子，我得到了力量的胡萝卜多么奇怪的是霍华德？让在这里留下了一个小时记得有一次，当你的房子打扫谢尔登？跟你剑在我的沙发上一个神秘的军阀我不想在这些粒子碰撞光速但我需要一个和你我身边实验假设等腰三角形甚至不喜欢起司蛋糕，和你在一起，我会探戈带我到内布拉斯加与足球即时下跌我不玩风筝和即时通讯类的高但我不是一个侏儒半身好韵我们来一个大爆炸理论化和无限次合唱：柔软的小猫，温暖的小猫，小球的皮毛。

THE BIG BANG THEORY生活大爆炸片头曲Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state.整个宇宙一度处于滚烫，密实状态universe: 宇宙，世界dense: 稠密的state: 情形Then nearly 14 billion years ago expansion started. Wait...然后140亿年前终于爆了炸，等等...billion: 十亿expansion: 膨胀wait: 等待The earth began to cool地球开始降温cool: 变凉，冷却The autotrophs began to drool,自养生物来起哄autotrophs: 自养生物,靠无机物质生存的生物drool: 从嘴淌下，neanderthals developed tools穴居人发明工具neanderthal:[ ni'ændətɑ:l; -θɔ:l]尼安德特人，穴居人tool: 工具We built the wall.我们筑长城the pyramids: 埃及金字塔We built the pyramids我们建金字塔Math, science, history, unraveling the mystery.数学、自然科学、历史，揭开谜团math: 数学science: 科学history: 历史unravel: 解开。

阐明mystery: 神秘，奥秘That all started with a big bang.bang: 撞击，砰然巨响所有的一切都始于一次大爆炸。

Bang!砰!”。

But I think, by the end of the honeymoon, 不过我觉得到了蜜月尾声we really started to feel like a married couple. 我们真的开始有已婚夫妇感了But the good kind, like on TV, 是好的那种像电视里那样- not like my parents. - Yeah. -不是像我父母 -是的You're not a real married couple until you can pee 真正的夫妻是当你可以撒尿不关门with the door open and she's okay with it. 而你老婆也无所谓时才算I told you, I'm not okay with it. 我跟你说过我有所谓She loves it. 她爱死了So, we got everybody gifts. 我们给大家都买了礼物Did you forget about us until you were at the airport? 你们是不是到机场了才想起我们啊No. 才不是We forgot about you until we were on the plane. 我们是到飞机上了才想起你们来Luckily, there was Wi-Fi, 幸好飞机上有无线网and I have Amazon Prime. 而我有网络商城高速送货服务I heart New York. 我❤纽约Aw, the baby's gonna love throwing up on this. 宝宝一定会很喜欢吐在这上面Look, it doesn't have to just be New York. 听我说这不见得只能代表纽约啊That's the beauty of it. 这才是其中的奥妙之处Uh, the initials "N.Y." can stand for anything you like.这个缩写可以代表很多你们喜爱的事物For instance, I understand that there is 举个例子我听说有一个an elderly rock-and-roll musician named Neil Young. 知名的老年摇滚歌手尼尔·杨Perhaps you heart him. 或许你们喜欢他啊Or if not him, Egyptian table tennis silver medalist 如果对他无感埃及银牌乒乓球手Noha Yossry. 诺哈·亚瑟里Or Nana Yamaguchi, 也可以是山口奈奈the Japanese voice actress 她是日本的女声优who starred in Sally the Witch. 曾给卡通《仙女下凡》配过音Did you just Google the initials "N.Y."? 你上网查了有谁缩写是N.Y.的吗I had Wi-Fi and a long plane flight. 飞行时间长而又刚好有网Draw your own conclusions. 你推理推理吧Well, guys, that was very, very thoughtful of you. I... 两位这礼物真是非常有心了我... Did you get me a double XL? 你们给我买了XXL号的吗- I told you. - You were right, dear. -我跟你说太大了吧 -你说对了亲爱的Sheldon, that's not how you write a thank you card. 谢尔顿感谢函不是这么写的What's wrong with it? 我写的有哪里不对"Dear Aunt Helen, "亲爱的海伦阿姨Thank you so much for the lovely place setting. 谢谢您送给我们的这套令人喜爱的餐具If my handwriting looks strained, 如果我的字迹看起来不太自然that is because this is the 16th thank you card 那是因为这是我被艾米逼着写的Amy has forced me to write. 第16张感谢函The muscles in my wrist are cramping 我忍着用肌肉在抽筋的手腕as I struggle to finish this sentence. 艰苦地写完这句子Ow, ow, oh, the pain. 哎哟哎哟疼死我了Love, Sheldon." 爱你的谢尔顿敬上"Fine. 行行行"And Amy." "谢尔顿与艾米敬上"This one is from Leonard and Penny. 这份礼物是莱纳德与佩妮送的"The perfect gift for the perfect couple." "完美的礼物赠于最完美的夫妇"Save that card. We may need to throw it back in their faces. 卡先留着礼物不满意就把卡甩回他们脸上I wonder what it could be. 我真好奇会是什么东西Oh, could be anything. 什么东西都有可能A flute, a letter opener, 一支长笛一把拆信刀one of those pens 或是带裸女图的笔where you put the bikini back on the naked lady. 把笔正着拿墨水就会变成遮羞的比基尼Isn't this nice? 这东西不错啊What is it? 这是什么You know, it's, uh, 你懂的就是...it's one of those... 就是那个...Nope, doesn't do that. 不是没作用Oh, maybe it's candy. 或许是糖果Lick it. 舔舔看I don't want to lick it. You lick it. 我才不要舔你舔吧I'm not gonna lick it. I just brushed my teeth. 我才不要舔我刚刷完牙Is it from one of your dumb sci-fi shows? 是你看的弱智科幻电视剧里的东西吗Uh, none of the sci-fi shows I watch are dumb. 我看的科幻电视剧都不弱智好吗- Sheldon... - Okay, Westworld. -谢尔顿少来 -好啦《西部世界》弱智But this has nothing to do with that show, 但这跟那部剧没有任何关联啊other than it's also inexplicable. 唯一的关联大概就是都令人懵逼Well, Leonard and Penny are our best friends. 莱纳德与佩妮是我们最好的朋友They know us better than anyone. 他们比谁都了解我们俩They said it's the perfect gift. 他们说这是完美的礼物We must be missing something. 那我们肯定是漏了什么细节You don't... 你不会...think it's a marital aid, do you? 觉得这是婚姻"辅助棒"吧Don't be silly. 别犯傻了Amy, how is this big glass shaft going to aid our marriage? 艾米这根玻璃大棒哪里能辅助我们的婚姻啊Do you think when Krypto the Superdog is out flying, 你觉得当超级狗英雄在外面乱飞时Superman has to fly after him with a little baggie? 超人得拿着捡屎袋跟在它后面吗Hmm. Haven't really thought about it before. 这点以前我还真没想过But he doesn't need a baggie, 但超人应该不需要用捡屎袋because he just blasts the poop with his heat vision. 他可以直接用热能光线把屎给炸了You've thought about it before. 你以前绝对想过这件事Oh, I've thought about it a lot. 其实我可常想了What is wrong with Stuart's face? 斯图尔特的脸出了什么问题I think he's smiling. 他好像是在微笑Oh, my God, are they flirting? 天啊他们是在聊骚吗Oh, they're way past flirting. 他们早就过了聊骚期I caught them making out at Sheldon's wedding. 我抓到他们在谢尔顿的婚礼上亲热了Are you sure she wasn't trying to breathe life back into him?你确定她不是在帮他做人工呼吸吗I don't think so. 应该不是When I used that much tongue at CPR training, 当我在心肺复苏课上伸那么多舌头时I had to buy the dummy. 他们会逼我买下那假人Ooh, I have class. 我有课I should go. 我该走了Oh. Okay. 好的- Bye. - Bye. -再见 -再见See ya, guys. 大家再见- Bye. - Bye. -再见 -再见啦So, what's her deal? 她现在是怎么样Is she into you or does she just hate her parents? 她是真对你有意思还是想气自己父母I-I don't know. 我不知道啊We kissed a little at the wedding, 我们在婚礼上亲热了一下and it was great. 感觉一切很美好But we haven't really talked about it since then. 但之后我们没有好好谈过So I-I don't know how she feels about me. 所以我也不知道她对我有何感觉Well, she patted you on the head, 她摸了摸你的头so I'm guessing she feels like you're such a good boy! 所以我猜她觉得你是个乖狗狗Seriously, do you think I should ask her out? 说认真的你们觉得我该去约她吗A-Absolutely. 必须啊Don't let love get away. 别让真爱溜走It is the most important thing in the world. 爱情是世界上最重要的东西Without it, life is dark and meaningless and all you're left with 没了爱情生命一片黑暗且毫无意义is the judgmental gaze of your dog 你剩下的就只有as you finish off a bag of Doritos on the toilet. 独自在马桶上吃完零食后你家狗鄙视的眼神Thanks. 谢谢你You're a real good pal. 你真是个好朋友And now you're a good boy! 你现在也是乖狗狗啦I can't stop thinking about that present. 我无法停止想那个礼物是什么It's driving me crazy. 我快要发疯了Me, too! 我也是The card said it was the perfect gift. 卡片写着那是完美的礼物But it's not a dinosaur fossil or matching pocket watches, 但它不是恐龙化石也不是情侣怀表so I don't see how it can be. 所以我看不出它如何能完美Maybe we're trying too hard. 或许是我们想太多了Maybe it's something simple. 它可能很简单Like Leonard and Penny. 就像他们夫妇一样头脑简单Yes, good. 很好有道理We just need to think like them. 我们只需要进入他们的思维Okay. 好What gift can I get us 有什么礼物能送谢家夫妇to express how grateful we are to have us in their lives?来表达对他们进入我们生命的感谢之情Way to make it simple. 你可真会简化啊I'm just gonna ask them. 我直接去问他们吧No, you can't; it'll hurt their feelings. 不行这会伤了他们的感情I'm okay with that. 这我无所谓啊And they'll know you weren't smart enough 而且他们也会知道你不够聪明to figure it out on your own. 来解出他们送了什么礼物You're right. Oh, this is awful. 你说得对这真是太讨厌了And I can't even comfort myself by stroking 而且我都不能靠抚摸the fossilized tibia of a Pentaceratops. 五角龙胫骨化石来安慰自己Let's just go to sleep. 我们先睡一觉吧We'll look at it in the morning with fresh eyes, 一觉醒来我们就能用全新视角来看and maybe it'll come to us. 说不定一切就会水到渠成Fine. 好吧Or we go tear apart that box and look for a clue. 又或者我们去拆了那盒子寻找线索Staying up past my bedtime and solving mysteries? 过了我睡眠时间不睡觉去玩解谜游戏Who knew married life could be this good? 谁能想到婚姻生活会如此美好What's wrong with his face? 他的脸出了什么问题A lot of people have been asking that. 最近很多人都问过这个问题He's... smiling. 他在...微笑Hey, Stuart, you look pretty happy. 斯图尔特你看起来心情很好啊Oh, yeah. 是啊I, uh, asked Denise out on a date, 我约德妮丝去约会and she said yes. 她答应了Aw. That's great. 太好了But don't smile like that in front of Halley. 但别在哈雷面前这样笑She just started sleeping through the night. 她最近才开始能一觉睡到天亮Sorry. I'm excited. 抱歉我很兴奋I haven't been on a date in a long time. 我很久没约过会了Back when I was dating, 我还约会那会儿I'd always wear a new pair of underwear, just in case. 我总会穿新内裤以免"艳福"来了不好看It's also been a long time since I bought new underwear. 我也很久没买过新内裤了And I probably should, 估计该买了because these are no longer tighty nor whitey. 从紧身白内裤变成松垮灰破裤了Okay, I'm out. 老娘要闪人了If there's a chance someone's gonna see you naked, 当别人有机会看到你的裸体时it's also polite to make sure you're well-groomed down there.你先修剪梳理好"杂毛"是基本礼仪I get it, Howard. I've been busy! 知道了霍华德老娘最近太忙了Hello. 你们好呀I just wanted to pop over and hand-deliver this thank you note我想过来亲手把感谢信交给你们for your very thoughtful wedding gift. 感谢你们送了贴心的新婚礼物Oh, good. You guys liked it? 真好你们喜欢那个礼物吗Well, we liked it a lot more than things that aren't it, 喜欢它多过喜欢不是它的事物I'll tell you that. 我就这么说吧Well, yeah, that's great. 那可太好了Because when we saw it, we thought, 因为我们看到这东西时便想到"Amy and Sheldon just have to have that." "艾米和谢尔顿必须得有这个"Oh, do tell. Now, paint a picture for me, 愿闻其详把当时的情形描述一下like where you were when you found it 这礼物你们在哪发现的and what you thought we'd enjoy doing with it. 你们觉得我们会喜欢用它来做什么Do you not know what it is? 你是不是不知道那是什么Of course he knows what it is. 他当然知道了He's the smartest man in the world. 他可是全世界最聪明的人Well, I don't know about the world. 全世界我可不敢肯定Some of those Chinese fellas are pretty clever. 还有些也挺聪明的中国人呢Now, if you'll excuse me, 失陪一下I'm going to return home and use your gift 我要回家使用你们送的礼物in the manner which it was intended. 而且是按它原本的用途来使用He-He's never gonna figure it out. 他永远都不会猜到I know. 就是啊What are you?! 你到底是什么鬼- Gosh, this makes me happy. - Yeah. -我真是要开心坏了 -对啊Howard, I don't often say this, 霍华德这话我不常说but, good, you're here. Now, 但你在这真的太好了do you know what Leonard and Penny got us for our wedding gift?你知道莱纳德夫妇送了什么新婚礼物给我们吗- Well... - Don't answer. -这个嘛 -别回答I don't want to know. 我不想知道答案I just want to know if you know. 我只想知道你是否知道- I do know. - Okay, great. -我知道 -很好I believe that Amy and I have figured it out. 我认为我和艾米已经猜到了Is it a clue to a scavenger hunt 礼物是不是寻宝游戏的线索that will lead us to the actual present? 它将会指引我们找到真正的礼物If you're asking 如果你是在问if you and Amy should spend the next couple days 你和艾米未来几天是否该满城跑running all over town searching for the next clue, 寻找下一条线索I'm gonna have to say yes. 那我只能说是的I knew it! 我就知道This is so much fun. 这太好玩了Oh, it really is. 真的好玩死了Oh, Leonard, thank you again. 莱纳德再次谢谢你We love the gift. 我们爱死那份礼物了Does he know what it is? 他知道那是什么了吗No, not even close. 边都没沾上He thinks it's a clue to a scavenger hunt. 他以为礼物是寻宝游戏的线索So, so happy. 小爷我开心坏了Well, what is it? What did you give them? 你们送了什么礼物给他们Oh, I-it's just this dumb crystal wand 就是我们结婚时that Howard and Bernadette gave us for our wedding. 霍华德夫妇送给我们的一根智障水晶棒Penny and I made each other miserable 佩妮和我想得头都大了trying to figure out what it was, and we thought, 都没猜到是什么于是我们寻思"Why not pass that fun along to Sheldon and Amy." "不如把这份乐趣传给谢尔顿和艾米吧" Wait a minute. Did-- 等等你...did you give them the crystal chakra wand 你把我送给你们的结婚礼物that I gave you for your wedding? 水晶脉轮能量棒送给他们了吗Yeah, that's exactly what we did. 对我们是这么做了You said you liked it! 你说你喜欢这礼物啊Yeah, that's exactly what I said. 对我是这么说了Wow. A scavenger hunt. 寻宝游戏啊That's exciting. 真令人兴奋I had a bit of a scavenger hunt myself last night. 我昨晚也玩了寻宝游戏I was trying to find the remote. 我想找遥控器I looked under one of the cushions. 找了一下沙发坐垫底下Wasn't there. 没有Then I lifted the cushion a little higher. 然后我把坐垫再掀高一点Bingo. 找到了Riveting. 精彩So, do you know what it is? 你知道这是什么吗Of course I know what it is. 我当然知道了It's a silicon dioxide crystal, otherwise known as quartz. 这是二氧化硅晶体也就是石英Are you sure? 你确定吗Am I sure? Is basalt a mafic extrusive igneous rock formed 还我确定吗玄武岩是由富含镁铁的熔岩by the rapid cooling of magnesium and iron-rich lava? 快速冷却形成的镁铁质火成岩吗Yeah, I'm sure. 我当然确定了Okay, so it's quartz. 所以是石英That's got to mean something. 这一定有什么含义What do we know about quartz? 我们对石英有什么认识I'll Google it. 我上网查一下Or you can ask me, 你也可以问我这个the geologist who won the MacArthur Genius Grant. 荣获麦克阿瑟天才奖的地质学家Got it! 查到了Quartz, from the German "Quarz" 石英一词来自德语which sounds the same, but is spelled without a "T". 两词发音相同但英语拼写多了一个"T" Interesting. No "T". 有意思没有"T"What is not "T"? 什么东西非"T"也[音似"茶"]Coffee! 咖啡The coffee shop where we first met! 我们第一次见面的那家咖啡店All right, let's go. Sorry. 好的咱们走抱歉I think I just had an adrenaline rush from having visitors. 难得有人来找我我不禁肾上腺素飙升Hey, Raj, will you, um, smell something for me? 拉杰你能帮我闻个东西吗Uh, that depends. 看情况Actually, it doesn't depend. Just no. 其实不用看我直接拒绝I'm trying out some new colognes for my date with Denise.我在试跟德妮丝约会要用的新古龙水Oh, and you just came over here 所以你就直接到我跟前to rub it in my face that you have a date? 炫耀你跟妹子有约会吗No. 不是I came over here because I need advice, 我来找你是因为我需要建议and you've gone out with more women than anybody I know. 而你是我认识的人里跟最多妹子约过会的Huh. I guess you're right. 我想你说得对Sheldon's the smart one, Howard's the funny one, 谢尔顿最聪明霍华德最幽默and apparently, I'm the ladies' man. 而本公子很明显是最花的Which one's Leonard? 那莱纳德呢Oh, yeah, right. 对哦I guess Leonard's the forgettable one. 莱纳德应该是最没存在感的Okay, let's have a whiff. 好我来闻一下Hmm. Smells like Paco Rabanne. 闻起来像帕高·拉巴纳牌的香水Ooh, you're good. I bought it at a swap meet. 你真厉害我在跳蚤市场买的It's actually called "Smells Like Paco Rabanne." 名字就叫"闻起来像帕高·拉巴纳的香水" It's great. She's gonna love it. 很好她会喜欢的I hope so. 但愿如此I really like Denise, and I don't want to screw this up. 我真的很喜欢德妮丝我不想搞砸了Hey, relax. 放轻松Trust your instincts. That's what I do. 相信你的直觉我就是这么做的And that works for you? 这让你纵横情场了吗Actually... no. 事实上没有I've made a mess of my life, and I'm... 我把自己的人生搞得一团糟I'm all alone. 现在孤苦无依Okay, I think it'd be best for both of us 我最好还是假装要走开接电话吧if I pretend to get a phone call and just walk away. 这样场面不会这么尴尬Yeah, that would be best. 行这样最好Hello. This is Stuart. 你好我是斯图尔特Sorry. I got to take this. 抱歉我得接个电话Uh, why, yes, I'd love to take a survey. 当然我乐意做问卷调查Okay, this is where we first met. 这是我们初次相遇的地方There's got to be a clue here somewhere. 肯定在某个地方有线索We sat at that table. 我们坐的是那张桌子Excuse me. 你这是做什么I'm sorry. We're on a scavenger hunt. 抱歉我们在寻宝Just pretend we're not here. 无视我们就行Oh, I found something! 我找到了It's gum. 是口香糖Maybe they left it behind the counter. 也许他们放在柜台后面I met my wife here, and we sat at this very table, 我和妻子在这里相遇当时坐的就是这张桌子so if you play your cards right, in eight years, 所以如果你好好表现八年后you could marry this woman. 你就可以娶这位女士That's my sister. 这是我妹妹Well, don't tell people. That's not okay. 别说出来兄妹恋可不好Sheldon, look, I asked the barista 谢尔顿你看我问咖啡师if anyone left anything for us, 是否有人留东西给我们and she said to look in this lost and found box. 她让我们在失物招领箱中找But why would it be in the lost and found box? 但为什么会在失物招领箱里Because we were lost, and then we found each other. 因为我们曾经迷失结果找到了彼此It makes perfect sense. 这太有道理了Oh. And look at this. 看这个A locket. 一个吊坠And that stone in front-- I bet it's quartz. 上面的石头我打赌是石英This must be it. This must be the actual gift. 肯定是这个这个才是真正的礼物Open it up. What's inside? 打开里面有什么Nothing. It's empty. 没东西空的Of course. 当然了Our life together is just starting, 我们共同的生活才刚刚开始and they want us to fill it with our memories. 他们希望我们用共同的回忆填满它This might be the best wedding gift ever. 这可能是史上最贴心的结婚礼物了They also left us a pair of sunglasses 他们还给我们送了副墨镜because our future's so bright! 因为我们的未来太耀眼了They thought of everything! 他们想得太周到了Look what Halley drew. 看哈雷的画Yeah, she made it at daycare. 她在托儿所画的It's pretty good, huh? 画得真不错啊Is it? 是吗Wow. Gentile moms are tough. 非犹太妈妈好严格啊Guys, I need to show you something, 两位我要给你们看点东西but you have to promise not to make fun of me. 但你们得保证不能取笑我Of course. 那当然Yeah. I was worried about the date 我很担心约会的事so I got my hair colored to make me feel a little more confident, 所以给头发染了色让自己更加自信but that just made me look paler, so I-I got a spray tan. 结果更显皮肤苍白所以我去做了美黑Have you tried showering, 你试过冲澡了吗seeing if you could scrub it off? 看是否能擦洗掉I did. 试了You're gonna need some new towels. 你们需要买新的毛巾And a bathmat. 浴室脚垫And a toilet seat. 还有马桶座圈I'm picking her up in an hour. 一小时后我就得去接她What am I gonna do?! 我该怎么办Don't you mean what are you gonna 你是不是应该说"Oompa Loompa doompety do"? "你要呜巴鲁巴怎么办""Oompa Loompa doompety do"? 《查理和巧克力工厂》里的橙色小矮人唱的歌You said you weren't gonna make any jokes. 你说你不会嘲笑我的I'm sorry. I'll stop. 抱歉我不说了I won't stop. 我不会停Look, it's only a spray tan. 只是喷雾美黑It'll fade in a couple days. 几天就褪色了Why don't you cancel the date and reschedule? 你不如取消约会再安排时间Oh, but I was really looking forward to tonight. 但我超级期待今晚呢You know what? Then go. Tell her what happened. 那就去吧把实情告诉她- Maybe she'll be flattered. - And if not, -也许她会高兴 -如果她不高兴swing by the chocolate factory and see if they're hiring. 就顺路去巧克力工厂看那里是否招工That wasn't a joke. That was a legitimate suggestion. 这不是笑话这是真心的建议Hello? 喂Hey, Dad. 老爸Rajesh. What a nice surprise, calling me on my birthday. 拉杰什真是惊喜居然在我生日时打给我Yes. That's why I'm calling. 对我就是为这事打来的And-and what better gift to give you than the gift 还有什么生日礼物比得上of marrying an Indian woman, just like you've always wanted.我满足你的期望去娶一个印度女人呢My goodness, Rajesh, this is exciting news. 我的天拉杰什这是天大的好消息Who is she? 她是谁You tell me. 你告诉我啊What? 什么I want you to arrange a marriage for me. 我希望你帮我安排一桩婚姻I'm just so tired of being single, 我实在是厌倦了单身and I'm finally just... I'm-I'm ready to settle down. 我终于...我准备好成家了I can't just call up some girl's dad 我不能随便打电话给一个姑娘的爸爸and make her marry you. 让她嫁给你啊It's-it's not 2015 anymore. 现在可不是2015年的世道了I know that, but I can't do this on my own. I need your help. 我知道但我一个人结不了婚我需要你帮忙Well, then, I'm going to need your help, too. 那我也需要你的帮助If I'm going to find a woman to set you up with, 如果我要帮你介绍一个女人you're going to need to stop Instagramming pictures 你就不能再在网上发你和你的狗of you and your dog wearing matching sweaters. 穿情侣毛衣的照片Fine, if that's what it takes to show you that I'm serious. 行为了让你看到我的诚意我同意Uh, quick question. 问一下Do you mean just Instagram, or all my social...? 你是单指照片分享网还是所有社交网...All of them! 全部的Okay, deal. 好说定了All right. Let me ask you a question. 好那我问你一个问题What do you think of this woman? 你觉得这个女孩怎么样Oh. Oh, my God, she's beautiful. 我的天好漂亮Is that who you're going to set me up with? 这是你要给我介绍的对象吗No! That's who I'm dating. 不这是我在泡的妞But maybe she has an older sister. 但也许她有姐姐So we put a little picture of me 所以我们在里面放了我的照片and a little picture of Sheldon in it. 还有谢尔顿的照片In-in the locket? 放进吊坠里Yes. 是的That was in a lost and found box? 之前是在失物招领箱里的吊坠Exactly. 没错Where we hid it? 我们把它藏在那里So really, you gave us three amazing gifts. 真的你们送了我们三件超棒的礼物You gave the locket, the adventure 你们送了吊坠精彩冒险and the realization that Amy and I can do anything 并且让艾米和我发现只要我俩合作as long as we work together. 便无所不能We wrote you a special thank you note. 我们给你们写了张特别的感谢卡Are those words? 这些是文字吗No. 不是It's a secret code that you two get to figure out together. 这是要你俩一起破译的密码Hint, it's based on Sanskrit, 提示这是以梵文为基础的but not the Sanskrit you're thinking of. 但不是你们以为的那种梵文And best of all, you can't use the Internet to cheat. 最精彩的在于你们不能作弊上网查Because we locked you out of your Wi-Fi, 因为我们锁住了你们的无线网and the answer to this is your new password. 而答案就是新密码I'm no longer happy. 我不开心了Hey, guys. Great news. 各位好消息I'm getting married. 我要结婚了- What? - No. -什么 -不Well, I-I haven't met her yet, 我还没见过她but her name is Anu. 她叫安努My father says she comes from a good family. 我父亲说她出身良好家庭She's in her 30s. 30多岁She works in hospitality management. 她做酒店管理工作So, as long as I can get through six to ten dates 只要我能挺过六到十次约会without revealing my true self... 不暴露我的真面目...this is happening. 我就真能结婚了I know just what we're giving them for a wedding gift. 我知道我们要送什么结婚礼物了Oh, my God. 我的天Yeah. 是的I wanted to look my best for our date, 我希望在约会时展现自己最好的一面and I made a series of bad decisions... 于是我做了一系列悲催的决定...one of which is hidden by my pants. 其中一个悲催决定被我裤子遮住了Do you still want to go out with me? 你还想和我约会吗Absolutely. Hey, maybe we can go find Nemo together. 当然也许我们可以一起去找尼莫Absolutely. Hey, maybe we can go find Nemo together. 《海底总动员》中的橙色小丑鱼That's a good one. 这个哏不错Do your 63 other crayon friends know you're out? 另外63支蜡笔朋友知道你出来了吗Are you just gonna make fun of me all night? 你会取笑我一整晚吗- Probably. - Great. -应该吧 -很好So what are we thinking, Chinese? 想吃什么中国菜吗Yeah, I'm in the mood for orange chicken. 好啊我有点想吃香橙鸡。

Oh, my God, I can't believe how big Halley's getting. 天啊真不敢相信哈雷已经这么大了Yeah-- where's Howard? 对啊霍华德在哪呢He's changing Michael. 他在给麦克换尿布A-All done. You know, fun fact, 搞定分享个有趣小知识did you know baby boys can pee straight up? 你们知道男婴儿可以往空中撒尿吗Grown-up boys, too. 长大的男孩也可以Why would we high-five that? 我们为啥要跟你击掌这事So how are you guys? 你们俩还好吗Really good. 很好啊Except for when we went grocery shopping, 除了我们去超市买东西时and the checkout lady asked when I was due. 结账的店员问我预产期是什么时候But you handled it well. 但你处理得很好啊Well, if you guys need help, I'd be happy to come over. 如果你们需要人帮忙我很乐意过去Oh, thanks, but we're really trying to enjoy this family time 谢谢了但我们想尽量在回岗位前before we both go back to work. 多享受这天伦之乐Okay, well, we all miss you. 好吧我们都很想你们-Bye.我们也想你们-- You guys, too. - 再见Boy, seeing them all together like that 要命了看到他们一家和乐融融has got my biological clock ticking like crazy. 让人家的生物钟疯狂加速到想要...Yeah, I don't think men have... 男人好像没有...I do. 人家有- Hi. - Hello. -你们好 -来啦Hey, guys. 你们来啦Good news, we have save the date cards. 好消息我们有邀请函了Huh, didn't go with my calligrapher. Interesting. 居然没用我的书法有意思What is this picture? 这图案是什么Oh, it's an MRI of our brains photoshopped 是把我们俩大脑的核磁共振成像to look like they're kissing. 修到看起来像在接吻Is it too sexy? 是不是太性感火辣了It's too something. 太难以形容了Guys, May 12, that's exciting. 大家是5月12号太迫不及待了- I know. - Do you guys have a location yet? -是啊 -你们定好在哪举行了吗'Cause you don't have a lot of time. 你们时间所剩不多啊Hey, it took us nine months to pick a date, 我们俩花了9个月才选出个日期and a week to decide if brains can have lips on them, 又花了一周来决定大脑能不能加上嘴唇so get in the boat and row. 少唧唧歪歪配合就是了Michael's out. 麦克睡着了So is Halley. 哈雷也睡着了Oh, my God, he's so cute. 老天啊他太可爱了So is she. 她也是Switch? 交换吗Yeah. 好Oh, my God, he's so cute. 老天啊他太可爱了So is she. 她也是I just love them so much. 我好爱他们啊Me, too. 我也是My heart feels like it's gonna explode. 我的心脏感觉都要被萌炸了Of course, it's full of brisket, so it probably will. 当然啦我吃了那么多牛腩总有一天会炸Oh, I didn't even know I was capable 我本来都不知道我这个人of loving someone so much. 居然可以这么爱某一个人More than me? 多过爱我吗I'm just messing with you. 我耍你呢I totally love them more than you. 我爱他们绝对多过爱你无数倍I get that. 我理解I would take a bullet for them. 我愿意为他们挡子弹But I would get seriously mutilated for you. 但我也愿意为你严重断手断脚That's sweet. 嘴真甜But you should know, if you got seriously mutilated, 但先说好如果你哪天真的残了I might dump you. 我可能会甩了你You'd be crazy not to. 你不甩才真是疯了Even unmutilated, I'm no prize. 我好手好脚时也不是什么人中龙凤You know, I'm really happy with our wedding date. 我对我们选出来的大喜之日十分满意The month squared equals the square of the sum of the members 月份的平方等于日期的of the set of prime factors of the day. 质因子的和的平方Isn't that romantic? 是不是超浪漫Yes, it's like that Shakespeare sonnet, 对啊就像莎士比亚那首十四行诗写的"Shall I compare thee to a day "我怎能将你与Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? 出自莎士比亚十四行诗第18that's also a really weird math problem." 大喜之日兼奇怪数学问题相比"It's a shame you're joking. 太遗憾你只是在挖苦了That'd be a lovely reading at our ceremony. 不然本来很适合在我们婚礼朗诵呢Well, we only have two months to find a venue, 我们只剩两个月时间找场地了and I had a thought. 而我有个想法What about the Athenaeum club at Caltech? 加州理工的雅典娜学术俱乐部怎么样Albert Einstein was a member there. 阿尔伯特·爱因斯坦曾是会员宾客有爱因斯坦与三位诺贝尔奖得主该俱乐部的史上首次正式晚餐Yeah,-- It's beautiful. 是啊-环境很美-and Albert Einstein was a member there. 而且阿尔伯特·爱因斯坦曾是会员It's close. 还很近And Albert Einstein was a member there. 而且阿尔伯特·爱因斯坦曾是会员And Albert Einstein was a member there. 而且阿尔伯特·爱因斯坦曾是会员Now you sound like a woman who wants to get married. 现在你听起来像是个想结婚的女人了So you're interested? 所以你有兴趣吗Oh, of course. 当然啦Yeah, but that club is extremely exclusive. 可是那个俱乐部十分难进You know, Leonard's been trying to get us in there for years,你知道莱纳德试着帮我们申请好多年了吗but no luck. 但都没成功过Well, that's odd. 这就奇怪了When I called, they said they'd be excited to give us a tour. 我打去询问时他们表示很乐意带我们看看Well, I suppose we can give it a look, 好吧去看一下也没损失and if it doesn't work out, I hear that there is 如果最后没成功我听说那附近a nearby Chinese restaurant that Einstein used to frequent. 有一家中餐馆以前爱因斯坦是常客Or, we pick a place we like, 或者我们选一个喜欢的场地and don't worry about Einstein. 然后不要管爱因斯坦了Boy, reality TV is right; brides are crazy. 天啊真人秀还真没错新娘都疯了So, how has it been, being home with two kids? 怎么样了啊在家跟俩孩子待着Oh, tiring, but super rewarding. 累死人但成就感满满Oh, like Pilates, yeah, got it. 就像普拉提课程我懂Honestly, it's gonna be hard when we both go back to work. 说实话我们都回工作岗位后会挺难吧I've been thinking maybe it would be better 我在考虑或许我们俩人中if one of us decided to stay home. 有一个人专职留在家带孩子I don't know, I was raised by servants, and look at me. 是吗我就是佣人带大的你看我I literally can't tell if you think that's good or bad. 我真的说不上你是觉得好还是不好Well, on one hand, they filled my tub with scented oils 一方面来说他们在我浴缸里加满了香精油and brought me honeyed sweets; on the other hand, 还会给我加蜂蜜的点心而另一方面I spent my twenties incapable of talking to women. 我二十多岁了却无法与女人直接对谈So you know, pros and cons. 所以你懂吧好坏参半Here's my dilemma: 我纠结的是I... kind of want to stay home. 我有点想在家当家庭煮夫But Bernadette is a way better parent than I am. 但伯纳黛特比我更会带孩子Wait, does Bernadette want to stay home? 等等那伯纳黛特有想当主妇吗I don't know. She's really invested in her career, 我不知道她对事业投入了许多心血and she's doing great. 而且很有成绩I think it should be me. 我觉得应该我在家Wow, I admire you, Howard. 我敬佩你霍华德I-It would be hard for me 要我可能就很困难to buck traditional gender roles like that. 让我这么突破传统性别角色藩篱Didn't you see Taylor Swift twice this month? 你这个月看了两次泰勒·斯威夫特的演唱会吧Yeah, because she's hot, not because she sings my truth. 是因为她人美不是因为歌词唱到我心坎Yeah, because she's hot, not because she sings my truth.她的歌词以女孩恋爱/分手后的心情为主Did Albert Einstein ever sit in any of these chairs? 爱因斯坦坐过这其中的任何一张椅子吗I think these are fairly new. 这些椅子应该都还挺新的But Stephen Hawking's eaten here a lot. 但霍金教授常来这里吃Yeah, but he brings his own chair, you know? 但他都是自带[轮]椅来的啊Well, it seems kind of perfect, 这里感觉好完美啊and it's close enough to your office, 而且离你办公室又近so you can use the bathroom you like. 你可以使用你喜欢的洗手间Mm. I put a sticker over the auto-flush, 我把自动冲水的感应器用贴纸贴上so it doesn't startle me. 这样就不会被突然吓到Here's my card. Why don't you two talk it over, 这是我的名片两位先好好谈谈and I will check to see if our soup spoons 我趁这时间去问问看我们的汤匙are "Deeper than they are wide." 是否"深度多过宽度"What? Too deep is a ladle, not a spoon. 干嘛深的是勺子不是汤匙I really like it. 我好喜欢这里Mm. Oh, I must admit, I do, as well. 我也得承认我也很喜欢I-- look at how somber all the men in these portraits are. 你看这些人的画像看起来都多阴郁I feel like that sets a good tone for our wedding. 感觉为我们的婚礼设下了良好的氛围Is that Leonard? 那是莱纳德吗Oh, no, no, these are all dead, accomplished scientists. 不才不是这些都是已逝的杰出科学家Leonard will only ever be one of those things. 莱纳德最多只能做到其中一项I mean, Leonard and Penny are right there. 我是说莱纳德与佩妮就在那里But he told me he checked on our membership just last week,但他上周跟我说他看了我们的会员申请and we were still 400th in line. 我们还在顺位400多名呢I'm sure there's an innocent explanation 我相信他会有个无罪的合理解释that won't ruin my day at all. 听完绝对不会毁了我一天心情Leonard. 莱纳德Hey.--- Oh, hey. 你们来啦-是你们啊How did you get in here? 你们怎么进来这里吃饭的What do you mean? Leonard's a member. 这话什么意思莱纳德是会员啊You told me it was incredibly exclusive. 你跟我说这里特别难申请啊Y-Yeah, look, about that, I lied. 听我说是这样的... 我撒谎了Hey, wait, you told me it was exclusive, too. 等等你也跟我说这里很难申请啊I avoided him and impressed you, all with the same lie. 我用一个谎来躲开了他还迷到了你Damn, Hofstadter, didn't think you had it in you. 服了霍夫斯塔德看不出你这么厉害Well, I'm not sure I know how I feel about this place now. 现在我不知道该对这里作何感想了Then don't turn around. 那千万别回头Cooper! 库珀Oh, good, you're here. 太好了你在这There's... something 有一件事I want to talk to you about. 我想跟你谈谈We're not putting a TV in the bathroom. 我们绝对不会在厕所里放电视That's how you get hemorrhoids. 人们就是这么得痔疮的No, this is important. 不是啦是重要的事Uh, I was thinking maybe one of us should 我在想或许我们俩其中一个stay home full-time, with the kids. 应该留在家里全职带小孩Oh great, so I have to give up my job 这下可好我得放弃我的工作and everything I've worked for? 与我一直以来努力的成果吗Actually, I was thinking I should stay home. 其实我想的是我留在家Oh, so I have to abandon my children and go back to work, 所以我得抛下我孩子回到工作岗位while you get to stay home and bond with them? 然后你在家跟孩子们建立感情吗You just said you didn't want to. 可是你才说你不想留在家啊No, I don't want to have to, but if I want to, I should get to. 不我不想要被迫要但如果我想要我就能要Do you want to? 那你想要吗Maybe I do. 或许有呢What if I also want to? 那如果我也想要呢Well, I don't know, we can't both stay home. 我不知道啊我们不能都留在家吧Don't you think you should go back to work, 你不觉得该由你回去工作吗because you make more money? 因为你赚的钱比我多Don't you think you should make more money? 那你不觉得你应该多挣点钱吗I think it's pretty sexist of you to say 我觉得你这样很性别歧视啊a dad can't stay home with his children. 觉得当爸爸的就不能在家带小孩You know what else is sexist, the phrase "Suck it," 你知道还有什么很性别歧视吗忍着[吸"鸟"]yet, here we are. 但就是这样I can't believe Leonard lied to me. 真没想到莱纳德会骗我What are we gonna find out next, 接下来还会发现他说过什么谎that he's not really lactose intolerant, hmm? 他其实没有乳糖不耐症吗He's just friends with an invisible trumpet player? 他不是放屁只是跟隐形的小号手是好朋友I know you're upset, but if we want to book the Athenaeum, 我知道你不高兴但如果我们想订那俱乐部we really should do it now, and then, I promise, 我们现在就得订然后我跟你保证we'll have our whole lives to complain about Leonard. 我们会有余生让你慢慢抱怨莱纳德Aw, somebody got a head start on her vows. 某人先开始说结婚誓词啦So do we agree? 那我们达成共识了吗Do we want to get married there? 我们要在那里举行仪式吗I don't know. 我不知道了I mean, Einstein was a member. 爱因斯坦曾是会员I like that. 我喜欢这点You know? But... 你懂吧可是...Leonard's a member, and that really steams my clams. 但莱纳德也是那里的会员真的让我很抓狂Oh, I love it when you're folksy. 我就喜欢你用地方方言的时候I'm just gonna call. 我就直接打电话订了On the other hand, shaming Leonard during our wedding 而另一方面呢在莱纳德背叛我们的地方at the very place he betrayed me 结婚并羞辱他does have a beautiful symmetry to it. 感觉也十分的美妙That's nice, it'll be your first petty act as a married man. 不错那会是你以人夫身份做的首件小肚鸡肠事Uh-- oh, hi, Kathleen? 你好是凯瑟琳吗Yeah, this is Amy from earlier. 我是早先去你那里的艾米I'd like to go ahead and reserve May 12. 我想先跟你预定5月12号那天的场地Although, it is our wedding. 不过那也是我们的大喜之日I-- maybe it shouldn't be all about revenge. 或许不该把重心都放在复仇上Oh, I see. 好的Okay, t-thanks. 行谢谢你Someone booked our date. 有人订走了我们的日子Uh... What? 什么Who? 谁Well, well, well. 哎哟哟This is a pickle. 这下可真难办了Yes, so, 是啊所以...if you will just move your birthday party 如果你能把你的生日派对移地举办to a different location, everything will be fine. 那这就最好不过了Ugh, I-it's tricky. 这挺麻烦啊I don't want to move my party, 我不想将我的派对改址but I also don't want to help you-- 但我也不想帮你忙oh, wait, I don't have a problem. 等等我没有麻烦啊No. I do. 不是我有Yeah, you do. 是啊你麻烦大了Morning. 早上好Hey, where you been? 你们都逛哪儿了Oh, nowhere special. 没去什么特别的地方Just the park, the farmer's market, 就是公园农贸市场then we hopped on the Gold Line to Chinatown 然后我们上了轻轨金线到唐人街去了because it's important for the kids 因为让孩子们感受其他文化to experience other cultures. 是很重要的What have you been doing? 你又做了些什么It's 8:00 A.M. Sleeping. 现在才早上8点睡觉Oh. So are the kids. 孩子们也是I guess they take after you. 这一点应该是随你You're just trying to prove that you'd do a better job than me. 你只是想证明你会做得比我好You're pretty sharp having just woken up. 你刚睡醒就这么机灵Howard, we both know you can't keep up this pace. 霍华德你我都清楚你无法保持这个状态By this afternoon you're gonna be passed out on the couch 到今天下午你就会昏睡在沙发上and I'm gonna have three exhausted babies to deal with. 到时我就得照顾三个累坏了的宝宝Not true. I got this. 才不会我能应付You know, in fact, why don't you take the day off? 事实上不如你今天请假休息吧Mm, fine. Maybe I'll have lunch with Penny. 好吧或许我可以跟佩妮吃午餐Take your time. 慢慢来Get a massage. 去做个按摩You deserve it after all the sleep you've been getting. 这是你应得的毕竟你睡了那么久Maybe Barry will change his mind. 也许巴里会改变主意Hmm? Oh, I doubt it. 我深表怀疑I said some pretty unprofessional things about his work. 我对他的工作说了一些很不专业的话I may have even used the "S" word. 可能连"S"开头的词都用上了Subpar? "水"准以下吗I'm not proud of it, Amy, but I have a temper. 我不自豪但我也是有脾气的Well, I suppose we could pick a different date. 其实我们也可以选别的日子Well, it took you nine months to choose that one. 你可是花了九个月才选中那一天I'll pick a different husband first. 我不如重选个老公算了Hey, I-I just, I wanted to apologize about the Athenaeum. 我想为雅典娜学术俱乐部的事道歉Why did you lie to me? 你之前为什么骗我I don't know. 我也不知道It just seemed funny at first 一开始是好玩and then the longer it went on, funnier it got. 随着时间过去变得更好玩了So, yeah, I guess that's why. 所以大概就是这个原因That's not much of an apology. 这可算不上道歉吧Yeah, because he's not really sorry. 对因为他不是真的心怀歉意Obviously, he wanted a place to go where I wouldn't be 显然他想去一个没有我的地方and apparently all of outside wasn't enough for him. 全世界的室外这么大他还觉得不够Come on. I-I do feel bad. 别这样我真的不好受Why? Did your best friend hurt your feelings? 为什么你最好的朋友伤你心了吗Come on-- Sheldon. 拜托谢尔顿Look, I only have time to deal with one jerk right now 听着我现在只有空对付一个混蛋- and that's Barry Kripke. - What? -那就是巴里·克里普奇 -什么He has the Athenaeum booked for our wedding date他在我们婚礼日那天预订了雅典娜学术俱乐部and he won't give it up. 不愿意让给我们Yeah, so if you could just please leave before I get angry 没错所以请你离开否则我就要生气了and say something I will regret about your face, your height,会说出令自己后悔的话来评价你的长相身高your personal hygiene or the fact that your science, 个人卫生或是你的科学while serviceable, lacks panache. 虽然有一定用途但缺乏派头That's actually one of the nicest things 这其实是你对我工作说过的you've ever said about my work. 最动听的评价了And now I regret it. Good-bye. 现在我后悔了再见Hey. There you are. 你在这儿呢Yeah, I just wanted to stop in and see my office 我就想在我们出去吃午餐前before we went to lunch. 来我办公室看一眼Just a few more weeks, you'll be back full-time, huh? 再过几周你就回来全职上班了对吧Yeah. 是啊Uh-oh. That wasn't a happy "yeah." 你这可不是开心的语气That was a "Hey, Leonard, do you want to go to the gym?" yeah. 是我邀莱纳德去健身房时勉强答应的语气I've just been thinking that maybe I'd rather 我一直在想也许我更想待在家stay home with the kids and be a mom. 照顾孩子当个好妈妈Wow. That's big. 这可是重大决定I know. 我知道Dr. Rostenkowski. 罗斯滕科斯基博士I'm sorry, I didn't know you were back. 抱歉我不知道你回来了Oh, I'm not. 不是的I just came to meet Penny for lunch. 我只是来找佩妮吃午餐Is there anything I can get you? Coffee? Water? 需要我为你端咖啡或水来吗- No, I think we're just gonna... - Coffee sounds good. -不用了我们准备... -咖啡听起来不错- Cold brew, almond milk? - Perfect. -冷萃加杏仁奶 -完美Nothing-nothing for me. 不用帮我准备了It's weird. 好奇怪I've been away so long I don't miss any of this. 我离开这么久却一点都不怀念这里Sorry to bother you. 抱歉打扰你了Dr. Lee heard you were here and had a quick question. 李博士听说你来了想问你个事Fine. Put him on. 好吧接通他Jerold, what's going on? 杰罗德最近怎么样Hope you're not screwing up my research. 希望你没有毁了我的研究You calling from a bike ride? 你正在骑单车吗'Cause you're backpedaling hard. 因为你正在迅速倒骑[气势减弱]All right, fine. E-mail it over. I'll take a look. 好吧发邮件给我我这就看看Oh, sorry. Where were we? 不好意思刚说到哪儿了Love your kids. Don't miss your job. 很爱你的孩子们不想念工作Right, right. 对对There's nothing in the world 世间万物都无法与之相比like holding your sleeping baby, 抱着自己熟睡的宝宝knowing you make him feel safe and then-- 知道你让他感到安全Oh, good, you got the little cookies I like. 太好了你拿我爱吃的曲奇饼来了I wouldn't mind a cookie. 我也想吃曲奇饼And he's gone. Okay. 他已经走了好吧Hey, Kripke. 克里普奇Hello, Hofstadter. 你好霍夫斯塔德Why are you cleaning that out yourself? 你怎么亲自在清洗这个Don't you have grad students? 没有研究生帮你吗Come on, I can't make my grad students do every dirty job 拜托总不能所有脏活都让研究生干or so I've been told in writing by the head of Human Resources.或者说人力资源部门主管明文禁止我这么做Fair enough. Uh, so, look, 好吧听我说I'm here to ask you to give Sheldon and Amy 我是来请求你把雅典娜学术俱乐部the Athenaeum for their wedding. 让给谢尔顿和艾米举行婚礼Why would I do that? 我为什么要这么做Because deep down, Barry, you're a really good guy. 因为内心深处你是一个很好的人But am I? 但我真是好人吗Fine. What's it gonna take? 好吧有什么条件Barry, I've come to ask one more... 巴里我来再问你一次...Leonard? 莱纳德Wh-Why are you doing that? 你怎么在干这个Because deep down Barry is not a good guy. 因为巴里在内心深处并不是个好人He's making you clean out barrels of irradiated grease? 他叫你清洗装辐照油脂的桶吗Yeah. 是的I made a deal with him 我跟他做了笔交易to get you the Athenaeum for your wedding. 让他把雅典娜学术俱乐部让给你举办婚礼Why would you do that? 你为什么要这么做Because I was a jerk for lying to you before 因为我之前骗了你很混蛋and besides, you're my best friend. 再说你是我最好的朋友I want you to have the wedding of your dreams. 我希望你能拥有梦想中的婚礼On Mars? 在火星上吗Okay, I want Amy to have the wedding of her dreams. 好吧我希望艾米能拥有梦想中的婚礼Well, thank you. 谢谢你But I don't want you to do this. 但我不想让你干这个No, it's okay. 没关系No, it's not. 有关系We're not going to let Barry win. 我们不能让巴里赢Well, what are we going to do? 那我们要怎么做We have a combined IQ of 360. 我们俩的智商加起来有360Perhaps more if that radiation gave you a super brain. 要是那辐射让你大脑变异成超级大脑还会更高You know what? You're right. 知道吗你说得对If we work together we could totally outsmart Barry Kripke.我们同心协力就一定能碾压巴里·克里普奇Leonard, my nose itches. What do I do? 莱纳德我鼻子痒怎么办Oh, boy. 天啊I really passed out hard. 我昏睡得不省人事Yeah, tell me about it. 可不是嘛The kids could've screamed bloody murder 就算孩子们尖叫有人杀人and you wouldn't have woken up. 你也不会醒Which I know because they did. 这我知道因为他们真的尖叫了I'm sorry. 抱歉Why did I think I could do this on my own? 我怎么会以为自己能搞定Hey, don't beat yourself up. 别太责怪自己了Parenting is hard. 照顾小孩是很辛苦的Like, I've seen and smelled things today 我今天看到和闻到的东西that I cannot unsee or unsmell. 已经深深烙印在我的脑海里了Thanks for covering for me. 谢谢你来帮我No, I mean he only drinks milk. 真的他明明只喝奶Like, where are the colors coming from? 那些颜色是怎么来的What time is it? 现在几点了Uh, it's almost 6:00. 快6点了Okay. Bernadette's gonna be home soon. 好伯纳黛特快回家了We got to divide and conquer. 我们得分工合作I'll make dinner. You watch the kids. 我去做晚餐你照看孩子们Uh, kids are asleep. 孩子们睡着了Great, then you make dinner. 太好了那你去做晚餐Hey, good news, Amy. 好消息艾米We got the Athenaeum. 我们拿到俱乐部的场地了Oh, my gosh. 天啊That's amazing. 太棒了How'd you get Barry to change his mind? 你怎么让巴里改变主意的Well, I couldn't have done it without Leonard. 没有莱纳德我一个人无法做到Boy, you should've seen us in there. 你真应该看看我们在里面的英姿We were like Batman and Robin. 我们就像蝙蝠侠和罗宾一样Why do I have to be Robin? 为什么我得当罗宾If you have to ask, you're Robin. 如果你还要弱弱地问那你就是罗宾What happened? 发生什么了Well, we scrubbed out some barrels of irradiated grease, 我们刷洗完几个装过辐照油脂的桶rinsed off in a safety shower 再用安全淋浴洗净污渍后and then told Barry Kripke what is what. 就去给了巴里·克里普奇一点颜色瞧瞧And he just gave in? 他就这样让步了吗Well, we agreed to invite him to the wedding. 我们还同意邀请他来参加婚礼Okay. No problem. 好吧没问题Yeah.---- And he gets to bring a date. 行啊他还能带一个伴儿出席Well, that's reasonable. 合情合理A-And if she charges by the hour, we have to cover it. 如果女伴按小时收费我们得出钱What else did you agree to? 你们还答应了什么Well, um, you know how Barry has the voice of an angel? 你知道巴里有宛如天籁的嗓音吗He is not singing at our wedding. 他绝不能在我们婚礼上献唱He only wants to sing "Volare." 他只想唱经典老歌《飞》Oh, "Volare" 原来是《飞》啊That's what he was saying. 我还以为是《灰》什么的Boy, I didn't, I did not get that. 我还真没听懂他的发音Guys, I appreciate everything you did, 我很感激你们所做的一切but we can find another location that's just as good. 但我们能找到另一个同样赞的场地Maybe the Japanese garden or the planetarium. 比如日式花园或天文馆The planetarium. 天文馆I hadn't thought about that. 我之前都没想到呢That's even better. 这选择更棒了Wait, what? 等等什么I scrubbed sludge for you. 我还为你刷洗了污泥I may be slightly radioactive. 现在没准我都带有点放射性了Oh, you're exaggerating. 你太夸张啦Don't let him touch the silverware. 别让他碰镀银餐具Why is Raj asleep on our couch? 拉杰为什么睡倒在我们家沙发上Oh. I needed some help so he came by, 我需要帮忙于是他就过来了played with the kids, read them some stories, 陪孩子们玩了会给他们读故事put them down for their nap and made dinner. 哄他们睡午觉还做了晚饭What'd you do? 你做了什么Ate dinner. 吃晚饭Okay, look, I don't think I'm cut out 听着我想我不是to be a stay-at-home dad. 当全职爸爸的料And since you want to, you should stay home. 既然你想那应该让你留在家里I-I do definitely want to, 我确实想待在家but I know how much this means to you and it was just one day. 但我知道这对你很重要而且只是过了一天So, don't give up. 所以别放弃哦You don't want to stay home, either. 你也不想待在家里Do you? 是不是When I went by the office they gave me 我今天路过办公室他们给我coffee and cookies and no one peed on me. 端咖啡和曲奇来也没人尿在我身上I miss that so much. 我好想念那一切Well, I love the kids, but I also love my job. 我很爱孩子们但我也很热爱我的工作And sleep. 以及睡觉I know. I took a two-hour nap on the couch in my office. 我知道我在办公室里小睡了两小时I took a three-hour nap on the floor in the living room. 我在客厅地板上小睡了三小时How do you feel now? 你现在感觉如何Honestly? Still tired. 说实话吗还是很累Me, too. 我也是I love you. 我爱你I love you, too. 我也爱你And we'll figure this all out. 我们会想出解决办法的Yeah. 是啊Everyone's asleep. 大家都睡着了You want to head upstairs and... 你想到楼上去......you know. 你懂的Let's just do it right here. 我们就在这里进行吧Oh, oh, I like the way you think. 我喜欢你的小脑袋瓜。

Space is the mirror of the soul. 宇宙是灵魂的镜子Are we looking beyond, or are we looking within? 我们是瞭望远方还是照进内心呢I'm looking at my shoes. 我是看向鞋子This is making me a little motion sick. 我都看得有点晕乎了When we gaze out at the immensities of space, 当我们凝望着无止尽的宇宙we understand them because there are immensities 我们能了解到这是因为我们的内心within us as well. 也是无限大I'm Dr. Rajesh Koothrappali, 我是拉杰什·库萨帕里博士and thank you for taking a walk with me... 感谢各位与我一起through the stars. 漫步群星之中That pause gets longer every show. 他收尾的停顿一次比一次长I believe... 我觉得...you're right. 你说得没错Hey. 你好Can I get a picture with you? 我能跟你合照一张吗Absolutely. 没问题And if you post it on social media, 如果你要发到社交平台I suggest the hashtag "Koothra-poet." 我建议你加个话题#库萨诗里#Thank you. The show was great. 谢谢你节目很棒Well, I can't take all the credit. 这不全是我一个人的功劳I have pretty good co-stars. 我有一群很棒的明星配角The stars. 一群明"星"Do you say that to everyone? 你对每个人都说这套词吗Only to beautiful women. 只对美女And okay women. 还有还行的女孩说Okay. 行吧Uh, just to clarify: you're the first kind. 我澄清一下你是前一类人Okay. 行吧Thanks for coming. 谢谢你们来What did you handsome gentlemen think of the show? 两位帅哥对今晚的节目有何评价Uh, you can turn it off now. 你可以收功了It's sweet of you to say, but I don't think I can. 谢谢夸奖但我的魅力能放不能收Look at this cute picture of Halley in the bath. 看看这张哈雷在泡澡的超萌照片Aw, that's great. 拍得很赞啊Want me to send it to you? 要我发给你吗No, on your phone it's cute, on my phone it's a crime. 别了在你手机是可爱在我手机上是犯罪I also have a pretty cute picture to share. 我也有一张很萌的照片分享What is that? 那是什么An equation. 一个方程式Isn't it perfect? 它是不是太完美了Sometimes I just stare at it, 有时候我就这么盯着它看and I think "I can't believe that came out of me." 心想"真想不到它是我想出来的" Well, since we're sharing pictures, 既然我们要分享照片I have one to contribute. 我也可以贡献一张Please don't let it be you and your dog in the bathtub. 拜托别是你跟你狗一起泡澡的照片It's not. 并不是But don't swipe. 但别滑去看别张照片What are we looking at here? 这是什么Well, that's me and a beautiful woman 是我跟一个美女的合照and my watch showing the time as 2:30 in the morning.而从我的手表可以看出是半夜两点半拍的So, state's exhibit "A"? 所以... 证物"A"吗No. I met her at the planetarium a few days ago, 不是啦我前几天跟她在天文台认识的and she invited me out for a drink. 她后来邀请我出去喝一杯Oh, good for you. H-Hey, 那恭喜你啊w-what's the Hindi word for "Dog"? 印地语的"狗"怎么说- Kutta. - You kutta. -库塔 -你这只贱库塔Bow-bow. 咆咆That's Hindi for woof-woof. 这是印地语的汪汪I am seeing her again tonight. 我今晚跟她又有约You know, I also have a date tonight. 我今晚也有约呢But don't worry, it's not another woman. 但别担心不是跟别的女人It's string theory. 是跟弦理论有约Bow-bow. 咆咆Sorry, he's a kutta, you're not. 抱歉但人家才是色库塔你不算- Hi. - ?Hello. -回来了 -回来啦What you doing? 你在干嘛Oh, taking another picture with my baby. 跟我的宝宝合照Look how big he got. 你看它长多大了It's fun to see you this excited. 看到你这么兴奋挺有意思的Aw, thank you, that's so... 谢谢啦你人...- Don't sit there! ?- What, what? -不许坐这里 -啥怎么了I, uh-- sorry. 抱歉啦I-It's part of my organization system. 这是我组织系统的一部分That's-that's where those papers go. 那里是我放论文的地方Okay. Um, how about if I just... 好吧那不如我...slide this notebook... 把这笔记本推过去...You know what, it's fine. 行吧没关系I'll just be in the bedroom. 我去卧室里待着No, no. Uh, this is your apartment, too. 不用别这里也是你的公寓Uh, look, I'll-I'll stop for the night 我今晚收工吧and clean this up. 然后把这里收拾了Well, that's very considerate, Sheldon. 你真是太贴心了谢尔顿I know. 我知道See, I'm trying this new technique 其实我是在尝试一个新招式where I imagine how I would feel in someone else's position. 就是我换位思考做到感同身受Y-You mean empathy? 你是指同理心吗Oh, I thought I came up with it. 我还以为这是我发明的新方法呢Well, regardless, I-I appreciate the effort. 无论如何我还是谢谢你做出的努力Thank you. 谢谢It's really hard. 真的很难呢Morning. 早安Good morning. 早安啊Aw, you didn't have to cook me breakfast. 你其实不用为我做早餐Well, I wasn't sure how I did last night, 我不确定我昨晚的表现如何and I wanted to finish strong. 我想确定有个强劲的收尾You don't need to worry. 你不用担心啦Last night was great. 昨晚很赞了Ah, well, you say that now, 虽然你现在这么说but wait until you taste this. 但等你吃过一口之后再发表意见Oh, my God, this is amazing. 我的天太好吃了吧Which is why I keep an omelet pan in the trunk of my car.所以我在后车厢里都有备一个煎蛋锅Well, thank you, it's delicious. 谢谢啦很好吃My husband never cooked for me. 我老公从来不做饭给我吃Oh, uh, y-you were married. 你结过婚了吗Yeah. Well, technically, I guess I still am. 是啊严格上来说我还已婚Is that "technically," 你的"严格上来说"like, the paperwork hasn't gone through, 是指离婚文件还没正式生效or "technically," 还是"严格上来说"like, he's in the closet watching us right now? 他现在正在衣柜里看着我们俩No, no, we're separated. 没有啦我们已经分居了Do you mind if we talk about something else? 我们能聊一点别的吗Of course. 当然啦Uh, you know, my secret to making great omelets is that 告诉你我的煎蛋卷能这么好吃的秘诀I beat the egg whites separately. 是我蛋黄跟蛋白是分开打散的Speaking of which, how long have you been separated? 说到这个你们分开多久了About two weeks. 大概两周吧That is not a lot of weeks. 这周数不太多啊In fact, that's the bare minimum to get to the plural "weeks."其实这刚刚过了双数周数的门槛啊Doesn't matter. 无所谓啊He moved out, I moved on. 他已搬走我向前走Oh. Good. 很好Yeah, do you mind me asking what he does for a living? 你介意我问一下他是干哪一行的吗He's a firefighter. 他是消防员Oh. Interesting. 有意思A potentially jealous man who's handy with an ax. 一个有可能妒火中烧还能随手拿到斧子的男人It's-it's okay, though. 不过没事的啦He's almost had two weeks to cool down. 他可是有将近整整两周时间冷静呢Okay, the next drug is Romatrol. 好的下一款药是罗马唑Oh, I know this one. 这款我会We're actually pushing it really hard. 我其实很努力在推销这款药呢It treats mild dermatitis. 它能治疗轻微皮肤炎Uh, correct. And who can it be prescribed to? 正确这款药能开给哪些人群呢Adults and children who have absolutely, for sure, 成人以及百分百确定stopped growing. 已经停止生长的孩子Right again. 再次正确And what are the side effects? 有哪些副作用呢Oh, shoot, shoot. 靠靠Mm, remember the mnemonic. 想一下助记词Ah-- GRAVY, yes. G-R-A-V-Y. 肉汁G R A V YOkay, gastric distress, redness, 胃部不适红肿anal leakage, vasculitis and... 肛漏血管炎还有...yellow eyes. 黄眼Oh, uh, so close. 很接近了- It's actually yellow discharge. - Oh, right. -是黄带[白带发黄] -对哦That's why we went with "Gravy." 所以我们用"肉汁"这个词He knows he doesn't live here anymore, right? 他知道自己现在不住在这里了对吧Maybe he's experiencing memory loss because he took... 可能他失忆了因为他吃了...- Flaxitrite. - Yeah. -弗拉西崔 -正解- Thank you. - Uh, Sheldon, what are you doing? -谢啦 -谢尔顿你来干嘛Oh, I was just checking in on my old room 我就过来看一下我的旧房间to see what you've done with it. 看看你们怎么处置它Why? 怎么了Well, I could use a place to work in the evenings, and... 我晚上需要一个地方工作而且... - No. - Well, it's just that -不 -因为- there's not a lot of space in our apartment... - No. -我们公寓没有多余的地方 -不Well, and I feel like Amy's been having... 我觉得艾米一直有...No. 不And since you're not... 反正你们也不...No. 不It's... 就...No. 不No. 不That is our room now, 现在那是我们的房间and we're gonna turn it into a gym. 而且我们要把它变成健身房Do you really expect me to believe that? 你们真的以为我会信这种鬼话吗- No. - No. -不 -不So I guess what's bugging me 所以现在让我困扰的是is that they only broke up 13 days ago, 他们13天前才分手and now I'm dating her. 现在我却在跟她交往So, am I, like, the good guy in my movie, 那我是我这部电影里的好人or the bad guy in their movie? 还是他们电影里的坏人呢Pretty sure you're the weird friend in our movie. 我能肯定的是你是我们电影里的怪友人I like her, okay? 我喜欢她好吗I just, I-I don't know how I feel about 我只是...不知道该如何看待自己being the third wheel in a relationship. 在一段感情里充当电灯泡的角色Says the guy in my bed with my wife. 跟我老婆躺在一张床上的某人如是说Guys, I mean, he's around, okay? 我的意思是她老公还没走远呢He's apparently not happy about the breakup, 他很显然对分手耿耿于怀and based on the sweatpants he left at her place, 而且从他留在她家的运动裤可以判断出he's, like, a medium to large man. 这家伙至少是个中等个子或彪形大汉Maybe those are his "after the holiday" pants, 或许那是他的"假日发福后"专用裤like you have. 你也有啊I don't know. 我也不知道了I mean, do you think it's too soon for her to be dating? 你们觉得她是不是太快开始约会了If you and Bernadette broke up, 如果你和伯纳黛特分手了like, how long would you wait? 你会等多久才开始约会Oh, well, I don't even want to think... 我都不想去想这种问题Eight days. 八天What? 什么Two days to cry. Six days to hit the gym. 在家哭两天健身房恢复身材六天First of all, you already look amazing. 首先你身材已经很棒了Aw, that's sweet. 嘴真甜I'm gonna give him an extra day of crying. 那我再多为他哭一天吧The answer is still no. 不就是不You can say we wouldn't know you're here, but we'd know. 你可以说我们不会察觉到你在但我们能察觉Because you'd be here! 因为你的确在这里啊So, who was that? 是谁的电话呀I can't believe you hung up on me! 真不敢相信你居然挂我电话What the hell? 什么鬼What are you doing here? 你在我们家干嘛I am proving you wrong. 我是来证明你是错的I've been working back there for hours. 我已经在里面工作好几个小时了You had no idea. 你们根本没察觉Do something. 帮帮忙What the hell? What are you doing here? 什么鬼你在我们家干嘛I-I am trying to respect Amy. 我在试着尊重艾米Okay, look, you have an office at work. 好吧你在学校有自己的办公室Why don't you go there? 你怎么不去那办公I can't go to the office every time I have a brilliant thought.我不能每次一有灵感就冲去学校办公室啊I'd basically be living there. 那我岂不是相当于住那儿了Sounds good, do that. 听起来不错去吧No. No, the campus isn't safe at night. 不行校园晚上不安全There's raccoons and undergrads just walking around 那里不但有浣熊还有大学生到处走like they own the place. 好像那是他们的地盘一样Look. 听着I need somewhere to work in the evenings. 我需要一个可以晚上工作的地方You have a space you aren't using. 而你们正好有不用的房间Just take a look at my proposal. 看一眼我的提议What is this? 这是什么A rental agreement. 租赁协议I will only use the room for work. 这间房间我仅用于办公I-I won't sleep here, I won't eat your food, 我不会睡这里我不会吃你们的食物I won't even use your bathroom. 我甚至不会用你们的洗手间So you can just walk in any time of the day or night? 你从此就能无论白天黑夜想来就来吗Well, he does that now. 他现在不就这样吗At least this way we'll get paid. 至少签了协议我们还有钱拿I am Dr. Rajesh Koothrappali, 我是拉杰什·库萨帕里博士and thank you for taking a walk with me... 感谢各位与我一起...through the stars. ...漫步群星之中I-I think that one was too long. 我觉得刚才那停顿太长了Yeah, you're right. I totally felt it. 你说得对我也感觉到了Should we, uh, run it again? 我们要不再来一遍Please, God, no. 天啊不要了吧Can I help you? 需要帮忙吗Which one of you is Rajesh Koothrappali? 你们俩谁是拉杰什·库萨帕里Really? You're not sure 不是吧你看不出来which one of us is Rajesh Koothrappali? 我们俩谁是拉杰什·库萨帕里吗I am. I was just trying not to be racist. 看出来了我只是不想弄得像种族歧视I'm Nell's husband. 我是妮尔的老公h-here's the thing-- I didn't know 是这样的我真不知道that she was married until after... 她已经结婚了是事后...After what? 什么事之后I'm... 我I'm really sorry. 真的非常对不起Well, that doesn't make me feel better. 道歉并不会让我好过点Wh-What would make you feel better? 那做什么能让你好过点I want you to stop seeing my wife. 我要你不再和我老婆来往Done. Nice to meet you. Bye. 没问题很高兴认识你再见What am I gonna do? 我该怎么办Hey, buddy, do-do you want to talk? 大兄弟你想聊聊吗I thought we were gonna start a family. 我本以为我们会结婚生子Next thing I know, it's over. 没想到措不及防感情玩完It's gonna be okay. 一切都会好的How is it gonna be okay? 怎么可能会好You're sleeping with my wife. 你睡了我老婆I mean, besides that. 我是说除了这事之外Can I get you anything? 你需要点什么吗A glass of water? 来杯水A laser show? 还是来场镭射秀No, thank you. ?Oh, good. -不必谢了 -太好了'Cause I don't, I don't even know how to turn it on. 因为我根本不知道开关在哪I'm sorry. 抱歉I shouldn't have come here. 我不该来这里I guess I just wanted to see who she replaced me with. 可能我只是想看看取代我的人是谁Don't say that. 别这么说What you two had was special. 你们俩的感情很特别No one can replace you. 谁也取代不了你Did she say that? 这话是她说的吗No. 不是I should go, right? 我该走了对吧Stay. 别走Okay, I'll call you later. 好的晚点联系Look, if it makes you feel any better, 听着如果这么说能让你好过点I barely know her. 我跟她一点都不熟And she had sex with you? 不熟她还跟你睡吗Nell tells me you're a fireman. 妮尔说你是名消防员What's that like? 都做些什么呀Okay, I-I-I'm really uncomfortable 好吧知道他在里面房间with him back in that room. 我真的很不舒服Why? He hasn't made a peep all day. 为什么他一天都没出来了Y-Y-You don't get it. 你不懂All the years that we lived together, 我跟谢尔顿住了那么多年he drove me crazy the whole time. 他总是能把我弄疯And now he's not. 而现在却乖乖的Exactly. 对啊D-Don't look at me like that. 别用那种眼神看着我It-it-it means he did it on purpose. 这代表他以前是故意的It was a choice. 那是他的选择That-That's like finding out Godzilla could've had Arby's就像发现哥斯拉本来可以攻击阿比三明治店instead of Tokyo. 却去了东京一样I don't think they have Arby's in Japan. 我想日本应该没有阿比三明治店Not my point. 这不是重点Sheldon. 谢尔顿Sheldon! 谢尔顿I'm sorry. Am I being too loud? 抱歉我是不是太大声了No, you're being perfect and you know it. 不是你表现得很完美你心知肚明Would you like me to be a less considerate tenant? 你希望我当一个不那么贴心的租客吗No. Yes. What...? 不是是的什...Stop messing with me! 别再扰乱我了Hey, I was wrong. 我错了There's an Arby's in Okinawa. 冲绳真的有一家阿比三明治店He was best friends with her older brother, 他以前跟她哥哥是死党but he didn't even notice her. 但他当时根本没注意到她And then years afterward, 几年后they randomly bumped into each other at the DMV. 他们在车管所偶遇了对方Two hours later, they were in love. 两小时后他们就坠入爱河了You can really see the sparkle in his license photo.你都能从他驾驶证照片中看到眼里爱的火花He told you all this at the planetarium? 这些都是他在天文馆跟你说的吗No, no, we went to House of Pies. 不不我们去馅饼屋了He got banana cream. I got coconut. 他点了香蕉奶油我点了椰子口味We did halfsies. 我们分着吃You did pie halfsies with another man? 你跟另一个男人分吃一块馅饼吗You mean other than you? 你是指除你以外的男人吗Yeah. 是啊I feel bad for him, Bernie. 我很同情他妮妮He's a, he's a good guy. 他是个好人Well, if you're uncomfortable with it, 如果你觉得不舒服maybe stop sleeping with his wife. 也许就别再跟他老婆上床了I don't think the sex is the problem. 我觉得性不是问题所在I know for a fact I was just okay. 我很肯定相比起来我表现一般For the record, I'm the one who introduced you to House of Pies. 声明一下是我先带你去吃馅饼屋的Sheldon? 谢尔顿Oh, Leonard. 是莱纳德啊Sorry, I just, I had to get out of there. 抱歉我必须离开那里What did he do now? 他又做了什么Nothing. He's being a dream. 啥都没做他简直是天使Don't give me that look. 别那样看着我That's how Penny looked at me. I'm not crazy. 佩妮就是用那种眼神看我我没疯Penny and I have the same "You're crazy" look? 佩妮和我都露出"你疯了"的眼神吗That's kind of sweet. 心有灵犀呀I know how to deal with Sheldon being Sheldon, 我懂得如何对付真实的谢尔顿but Sheldon being a-a rational, thoughtful person? 但表现得理智又体贴的谢尔顿I'm clueless. I-It's like 我都懵了when my mom called last year to sing happy birthday 就像去年我妈打给我唱生日歌给我听and I-I just threw up. 我直接吐了Well, if it gets to be too much, 如果太难以忍受you can always send him back over here. 你随时可以把他赶回来这里I made a deal with him, 我和他说好了and besides, that wouldn't be fair to you. 再说那样对你不公平Well, actually, I miss him. 实际上我挺想他的He's been over there a lot. 他最近都泡在那边Well, great. Tell him he can come back. 太好了那告诉他他可以回来了I can't. He's thinking of me and my feelings 不行他在为我和我的感受着想and trying to be respectful. 他想尊重我That's what he's doing to me, too, the jerk! 他也是那样对我的那混蛋Stop that. 别再露出那眼神了Hey, your mad look and Sheldon's constipated look are the same.你生气的表情和谢尔顿便秘的表情是一样的This is nice. 这感觉真好It is. 是的She used to kiss me like that. 她以前也是这样吻我的You okay? 你还好吧Yeah. Yeah, I'm sorry. 没事抱歉Yeah. 没事Oh, God, I'm so alone. 老天我好孤单啊Sorry, I can't do this. 抱歉我没办法What's going on? 怎么了I met Oliver the other day. 我前几天遇到奥利弗了Wait, you tracked down my husband? 等等你去找我老公了吗No, that would be weird. 不是那多奇怪啊He tracked me down, then we spent the evening together. 是他来找我然后我们共度了一晚I don't believe this. 真难以置信He-he only did it because he cares about you. 他那样做都是因为他在乎你No, he did it because he's possessive and jealous. 不是因为他占有欲强又爱吃醋Really? I didn't get that at all. 真的吗我完全没看出来He made me feel very comfortable. 他让我感到很舒服自在Well, I'm glad you two hit it off. 你俩"基"出火花我倍感欣慰啊You know, I don't think that you're being very fair to him. 其实我觉得你对他不公平You're taking his side? 你站他那边吗No, but I should point out that 没有但我要指出he did offer to go to counseling, so at least one of you is trying. 他提议过做婚姻咨询所以至少他在努力挽回You're crazier than he is. 你比他还神经病I'll tell you what, just give him one more chance 这样吧你再给他一次机会and if it doesn't work out, 如果还是不成功I'll be happy to keep sleeping with you. 我很乐意继续和你打炮You would? 你很乐意是吧Either way, you've got yourself a fella. 不管哪种结果你都会有男人Like, how nice is that? 这多棒啊Hey, Sheldon. 谢尔顿Hello. 你好So, your contract provides for a three-day trial period, 你的合同规定有三天试用期and I don't think this is working out. 我觉得这还是行不通So, to put it in legal terms, 所以用法律术语来说the party of the first part would like 就是合同甲方the party of the second part to get out. 希望合同乙方滚蛋What time does the trial period end? 试用期几点结束12:00, noon. 中午12点Yeah-- what does it say after that? 那后面还写了啥Eastern Standard Time. 东部标准时间Eastern Standard Time. 剧中主角所在的西部比东部慢三小时That was three hours ago. 那是3小时前的事了And, uh, since you didn't exercise your right to revoke, 既然你没有行使废除合约的权利I exercised my right to extend, 我就行使我的权利来延长合约triggering this long-form rental agreement... 这份超详细的租赁合同现在生效...of which you're already in violation. 而你已经违反了上面的条约This is just a-a bunch of paper. 这不过是一堆纸张You can't enforce this. 你无法强制执行Hire a lawyer. Let's find out. 请个律师我们见分晓This is not happening. 这不是真的Be that as it may, 即便是这样page nine says that you have to provide me 第九页写着你得为我提供with lemon-flavored sparkling waters, so... chop-chop. 柠檬味的气泡水所以赶紧的Hey, how'd it go? 进行得如何Well, apparently he's not leaving 显然他不会走了and I have to go get him sparkling water. 而我得给他弄气泡水来Why are you smiling? 你为什么在笑I don't know. It just feels right. 我也不知道感觉对了...through the stars. 漫步群星之中Hey, buddy. 你好啊兄弟I talked to Nell. 我和妮尔谈过了She was pretty upset after you left. 你走了之后她不开心- Yeah, I'm sorry. - No. No, no, no. -我很抱歉 -不不不She told me that you said something so creepy 她说你说了一些很诡异变态的话that I seemed great in comparison. 相比之下我显得很棒I know exactly what it was. 我知道是哪句话I... no, actually, 不其实there was a couple of things it could've been. 有几句都有可能Whichever one it was, it was creepy. 无论是哪句都很诡异变态Anyway, uh, I went over to comfort her, 总之我去安慰了她and we talked, and I think we're gonna give it another chance. 我们谈了一下貌似我们会再给彼此一次机会I'm so happy for you! 我真为你高兴We should celebrate. 我们应该庆祝一下House of Pies? 去馅饼屋吗You know it. 那还用说吗Should we invite Nell? 要叫上妮尔吗Do we have to? 有必要吗Nah. 算了吧。