生活大爆炸--第10季第7集-美剧-字幕-对白-中英文对照-看美剧-电影学英语-打印-word版

Previously on The Big Bang Theory... 《生活大爆炸》前情提要Hey, Stuart. What are you doing here? 斯图尔特你在这里干什么Oh, I'm living here again. 我又住在这里啦Do, uh, Howard and Bernadette know? 霍华德和伯纳黛特知道这事吗Or is like a possum in the walls kind of thing? 还是像负鼠那样住在墙壁里在夹缝中生存No. I needed a place to stay, 不我需要个地方住and with the baby coming, 而且宝宝快出生了I figured they could use some extra help. 我觉得他们需要多个人手来帮忙Hey, tomorrow, who wants to paint the nursery? 明天谁愿意粉刷婴儿室I'll do it. 我做Why do you get to do it? I'm the artist. 凭什么让你做啊我可是个艺术家Just because you're starving doesn't make you an artist. 你吃不饱饭不等于你就是个艺术家Just because I look sickly doesn't mean I'm starving. 我一脸菜色也不等于我吃不饱饭啊Howard? 霍华德I think I'm in labor. 我好像快生了Oh. Oh, okay. Okay. 哎呀哎呀好的Uh, uh, uh, I can do this. 那个那个包在我身上We have a plan. 我们早有准备Somebody please tell me the plan! 谁来告诉我需要准备什么I'll get the hospital bag. 我去拿待产包I'll pull the van up. 我去发动车Meet you outside in two minutes. 2分钟后门外集合Meet you outside in two minutes. 时至今日Team Baby, go! 宝宝特工队行动Oh, man. 天啊This is really happening. 终于到了这一刻You doin' okay? 你还好吗Here comes another contraction. 又来一波阵痛了Let's pick it up! 加速啊All right, hold on. 好坐稳了I'm gonna drive like we do in India. 我要用我们印度当地的方式开车了Get out of my way, you syphilitic dogs! 死一边去你个梅毒贱狗Stop that! This isn't India. 别这样这里不是印度Fine. 好吧What do one point three billion people know about having babies?堂堂13亿人口大国的人哪懂生孩子的事啊Sorry. I know you were just trying to help. 对不起啦我知道你也是想帮忙I love you. 我爱你I love you, too. We're good. 我也爱你啦没事的Amy? 艾米Wake up. 醒醒Wh... What's wrong? 怎么了It's midnight. 现在是午夜Happy birthday. 生日快乐Sheldon. 谢尔顿Okay, you can have this back in the morning. 这个东西先没收早上起床后还你This is for you. 这是给你的I was going to wrap it, 我本来打算把它包好but touching Scotch tape gives me the heebie-jeebies. 但是想到要碰透明胶布我就浑身发毛I'll put in on the list with peaches and felt. 我会记得你不喜欢胶布桃子与毡制品What is this? 这是什么A functional MRI of my brain. 我大脑的功能性磁共振成像I did Sudoku before they took it so I'd be ripped. 我在拍之前做了一把数独来显得更脑力惊人I love it. Thank you. 我喜欢谢谢你And it's not just an MRI. 而且玄机不止如此The orbitofrontal cortex is lit up 我的大脑眼窝前额皮质是亮起的because I was thinking of you. 因为我当时想着你Sheldon! 谢尔顿We seem to be moving on to the annual coitus portion 我们貌似又来到了你生日庆典中的of your birthday festivities. 年度交媾仪式了Is that okay? 可以吗I didn't put on my come-hither plaid PJ's for nothing. 不然我穿诱人格子睡衣是为啥呢You hate Scotch tape, but you love Scotch plaid. 你讨厌透明[苏格兰]胶带却喜欢苏格兰格纹You are a mystery. 迷一般的男人啊Guys, wake up! 你们快起床Bernadette's having her baby! 伯纳黛特要生啦Come on, we're going to the hospital! 起床我们要去医院了I guess... I guess we should stop. 我想... 我想我们得先停下Yeah. I'm afraid so. 恐怕是的Childbirth, looming coitus? 生孩子差点交媾This is a banner night for female genitals. 这可真是个女性生殖器官的精彩之夜Now I see three of you. 旁边有三个男的Do we know the father, or is this some Mamma Mia nonsense? 知道谁是生父吗还是像《妈妈咪呀》那样但是妈妈的三个旧情人中并不知道谁才是生父这部音乐剧中女主角结婚想请父亲来I'm the father. 我是孩子的爹Okay, Dad, how far apart are the contractions? 孩子的爹阵痛间隔是多久No idea. Ask him. 不知道问他12 minutes. 12分钟12 minutes? Why are you here? 12分钟吗那你们来干嘛Aren't we supposed to get here an hour and a half early? 不是应该提早一个半小时到场吗This is a hospital, not the airport. 这里是医院不是机场I'm sorry. It's our first time. 对不起了我们第一次生孩子It's okay. 没事的This little one will be here before you know it. 小家伙很快就会出生了Do we know what we're having? 知道会是男孩还是女孩吗No, we're keeping it a surprise. 不知道我们想留个惊喜Old school. Nice. 传统作风我喜欢Not that old school. He knows. 也没那么传统他知道You see, I was at the doctor's office, 是这样嘛我当时在医生办公室嘛the folder was right there, so I took a peek. 然后孩子档案就放在那边嘛我就偷看一眼嘛And talking like this doesn't make it less creepy. 就算你这么说那件事也还是很变态嘛Sweetheart, go home. 亲爱的你先回家Come back when the contractions are five minutes apart for an hour.等阵痛间隔5分钟持续一小时后再来I'm sorry. That's ambiguous. 抱歉这说得有点不清楚Is it five minutes apart starting at the top of the hour,这间隔五分钟是包含第一次的这一个小时or five minutes apart starting with the first contraction, 还是第一次5分钟间隔阵痛后一小时so essentially, like, 65 minutes? 所以基本上就是维持65分钟后I'm just throwing this out there, 我就随口这么一说but home births are very popular these days. 但这年头家中分娩也挺流行的Sheldon, what took you so long? 谢尔顿为什么你拖这么久Wolowitz might hand out cigars. 生孩子父亲都会发雪茄庆祝I had to find my bubble gum cigar 所以我得找出我的泡泡糖雪茄so I could join in without looking foolish. 到时才能不像个傻逼地加入大家Damn, I need my inhaler. 靠我得去拿我气喘药Just don't smoke. 你别跟着抽就好啦No, I went down the stairs too fast. 不是是我下楼跑太快Don't come to the hospital. We're headed home. 别来医院我们要回家了Oh, that was fast. Did she sneeze the baby out? 这也太快了她是打喷嚏把孩子打出来了吗We showed up too early. We'll keep you posted. 我们太早就去医院了有新情况再通知你Okay, well, we'll talk to you guys later. Bye. 好吧那我们之后再联系再见She said not to come. It's gonna be a while. 她说先别去还得一阵子Well, first deliveries can be slow. 第一胎是有可能拖很久I am starting to rethink the Flash onesie I bought this kid.我开始犹豫买给这孩子的闪电侠哈衣对不对了I found it, but it's empty. 我找到了但是里面空了Well, it doesn't matter. We're not going to the hospital now. 无所谓了我们现在先不去医院了Are you sure? I'd really like to. 你确定吗我还挺想去的Well, should we, uh, head back up? 那我们是不是要... 再回去啊Come on, guys. 大家来嘛We're all awake. Why don't we go to a diner or something? 反正都起来了一起去个小餐厅之类的啊Oh, uh, I don't know. 不知道啊Sheldon, you don't want to do that, do you? 谢尔顿你不想去的对吧It doesn't matter what I want. 我想不想去不是重点啊- It's your birthday. You decide. - Oh, my God! -今天是你生日寿星最大 -天啊It's your birthday! Let's do something fun. 是你生日啊一起去做点好玩的Well, we could go to a bar. 我们可以一起去酒吧Well... 这个嘛...Okay, I can breathe again. Babe, they want to have sex. 好了我又能呼吸了亲爱的他们想做爱Oh, of course! 当然啊The annual birthday booty spectacular! 年度生日庆祝打炮大典That's a bit childish, isn't it? 你这样有点幼稚了吧I'm sorry, and what flavor is your bubble gum cigar? 真不好意思啊你的泡泡糖雪茄啥口味来着Grape. I find it the most mild. 葡萄这口味最温和All right, well, you two go have fun. 好吧你们俩去好好快活If we find my backup inhaler, maybe we can get frisky. 如果我找到备用药我们也能快活一把Oh, you sexy, wheezy little man. 你个性感气喘吁吁小家伙Do you really need to record this? 真的有需要录下来吗You'll be happy I did. 以后你会感谢我的Okay, little one, here we are back at home 好啦小家伙我们又回家来了because you weren't quite ready to come out yet. 因为你还没完全准备好降生到这个世界上来You wanted to make an entrance. I get it. 你隆重登场我懂And here's your daddy. 你老爸在这呢When he tries to tell you he used to be cool, 当他想骗你说他过去很酷的时候you can see he wasn't. 你可以眼见为实知道他并不酷All right, enough with the camera. 好了好了别录了Well, this is not for me. This is for the baby. 这又不是为我录的是为宝宝录的Some day she's gonna want to see this. 有一天她会想看的I'm sorry. 不好意思Who's gonna want to see this? 你说谁会想看的I-I said she, 我说的是"她"but lots of things are she -- 但好多事物都是用"她"指代的boats and cars, 比如船啊车啊whales. Like, thar she blows. 鲸鱼啊比如 "瞧她喷水啦"You're doing great. 圆场圆得好极了Raj! 拉杰Well, okay, I'm gonna sign off now. 好吧我先不录了This next part may contain some adult language. 接下来这部分可能包含一些儿童不宜的语言How could you?! 你怎么能这样We made it this far without knowing, 我们坚持到现在都不知道宝宝性别and you ruined it! 全被你毁了Well, you guys have no idea how hard it is 你们根本不知道守着这么大个秘密to know something like this and not say it! 却谁也不能告诉有多难You told me it was a girl, and I didn't say it. 你早就告诉我是女儿了我就没泄密- Raj! - You were supposed to keep that to yourself. -拉杰 -你不该说出来的Oh, yeah. I guess it is hard. 是啊看来是挺难的So... where were we? 那个我们之前进行到哪了Well, I believe 我很肯定we were kissing like randy teenagers, 我们之前正像欲求不满的青少年那样热吻and your nose was whistling ever so slightly. 你的鼻子因为不通气轻轻地发出吹哨声I'm sorry. 不好意思啊Oh, don't be. 没关系的You were like a foxy tea kettle. 你就像一只性感的茶壶Well, shall we start over? 我们要重头来过吗Very well. 好的What's wrong? 哪里不对头吗I'm not sure. 我也说不好Earlier tonight, things began organically, 今晚早些时候我们是自然而然开始的and now it's feeling forced, 现在感觉是为了做而做like all the Pirates of the Caribbean sequels. 就像电影《加勒比海盗》那些续集一样Okay, that makes sense. 好吧这么说也有道理I mean, the mood's a little different now. 气氛的确是有点变了We-we don't have to rush. 我们不必急着做的Oh, I know, 我知道but Leonard and Penny think we're doing it, 但莱纳德和佩妮以为我们已经开搞了and I don't want to disappoint them. 我不想让他们失望And the mood continues to change. 气氛继续急转直下No, and also, I don't want to disappoint you. I... 不是的我当然也不想让你失望我You know, come on. It's your birthday. 来吧今天是你生日I can soldier through this. 我能咬牙挺过去H-Hold on. 等一下I think I might have a little surprise 我觉得我有份小惊喜that might help get things back on track. 或许能帮我们重回正轨Intriguing. 真撩人Is back on track a hint "重回正轨"是不是提示我that it has something to do with trains? 小惊喜和火车有关No. 不是Because if it did have to do with trains, 因为如果和火车有关- and you were gonna give... - It's not about trains! -而你又要 -和火车没关系Oh. Not even a cozy sleeper car on the Orient Express... 连东方快车的舒适软卧都... Stop talking about trains! 别再提火车了Who's killing the mood now? 还嫌别人破坏气氛呢Found the backup inhaler. Want to have sex? 我找到备用气喘药了想爱爱吗Well, I didn't until I heard that. 听到你这么说不想也想了Hang on. I'm counting. 等一下药还得憋几秒It's okay. Mm. 好了Hello! 有人在家吗Howard and Bernadette kicked me out 霍华德和伯纳黛特把我踢出来了because I told them they're having a girl! 因为我告诉他们宝宝是女儿Oopsy, I did it again. 糟糕又说漏嘴了Maybe if we're quiet, he'll go away. 如果我们不出声或许他会离开You're gonna have to be quieter than that. 可你这不就出声了吗Can I look yet? 我能睁开眼睛了吗One second. 马上All right, you can open your eyes. 好了你可以睁开眼睛了I thought I'd let Harry Potter 我想就让哈利·波特的魔法make things hotter. 让气氛变得"特"辣热起来吧Wowza. 要命了I got a Gryffindor robe for you. 我给你买了葛莱芬多的长袍A Gryffindor sleeping with a Hufflepuff? 葛莱芬多的人和赫奇帕奇的人搞在一起How scandalous. 竟有这等桃色丑闻You naughty girl. 你个淘气丫头You went to the Wizarding World theme park without me. 你居然不带我自己去了魔法世界You went to the Wizarding World theme park without me.根据《哈利波特》故事设计的主题公园I did. 没错Am I in trouble? 我惹上麻烦了吗Yes, you're in trouble -- 你麻烦大了you went to Wizarding World without me! 你居然不带我自己去魔法世界Wait, what just happened? 等等怎么风云突变You know I've been wanting to go. 你明知道我一直想去的Sheldon, do you really want to argue with me 谢尔顿你真的想在我生日这天on my birthday? 和我吵架吗Oh, you're right. 你说得对I'm sorry. 对不起Ooh. Happy birthday to me. 祝我生日快乐Hello... 有人在家吗Is this about the baby? 是宝宝有新情况了吗No. People just keep kicking me out everywhere I go. 不只是我走到哪都被人拒之门外Good. Then you're used to this. 很好反正你都习惯了Hey, Bernadette's water broke! 伯纳黛特的羊水破了Come on! Everyone to the hospital! 快走都到医院去You have got to be kidding me! 有没有搞错Just try to relax. We'll be there any minute. 试着放松点我们随时就到Stuart, stop driving like an old man. 斯图尔特别再像老头子一样开车了Speed it up a little. 开快点I'm not an old man! 我才不是老头子I just can't see at night. 我只是一到晚上就看不清楚Here comes another one. 又开始宫缩了Hey, Squinty, the gas pedal's on the right! 老斜眼右边那个才是油门All right, hang on. 好吧坐稳了If you see any pedestrians, just call 'em out. 如果你看到前面有路人叫他们闪开Howard and Bernadette's kid 霍华德和伯纳黛特的宝宝might be born on your birthday. 可能在你的生日出生How cool is that? 这很酷吧Yeah, but I thought this baby was supposed to ruin 是啊但我以为这个宝宝本该毁掉的their sex life, not mine. 是他们的性生活不是我的This is not how I imagined this day going -- 这一天和我想象得一点都不一样I should be with them right now. 此时此刻我应该陪在他们身边的Well, it is their child. 可这是他们的宝宝啊I know that. 我当然明白But to be fair, I've spent nine months 但平心而论我花了九个月时间helping Bernadette get ready for this baby. 帮助伯纳黛特做好迎接宝宝的准备And Howard spent five minutes conceiving it. 霍华德不过花了五分钟让她怀上宝宝而已And I'm being generous. 说五分钟都是给他面子了Five minutes? 才五分钟We must be doing it wrong. 我们肯定哪里做错了It took us hours. 我们一做好几个小时呢And-and the worst part is 最糟糕的部分是that they kicked me out and let Stuart stay. 他们居然把我赶走让斯图尔特留下I understand, but this is a special day for them. 我理解你但这特别的一天是属于他们的Can you just try and let it go? 你能不能别再计较了She's right. 她说得对You know, I just learned Amy went to a theme park without me,我刚刚得知艾米不带我自己去了主题公园but I'm not going to ruin her birthday. 但我不会毁了她的生日I'll wait, and ruin 24 individual hours 我会等在接下来一年里sprinkled throughout the year. 一次一小时不定时毁足她24小时Deep breaths, slow breaths. 深呼吸慢慢地呼吸I'm so thirsty. Give me more ice chips. 我还是很渴再给我点碎冰Sorry. I... thought these were room ice chips. 抱歉我以为这是随屋赠送的碎冰I'll go get some more. 我去再拿些来Uh, Stuart, while you're out there, 斯图尔特既然你出去了don't come back. 就不用回来了Okay. 好So, what are we gonna name this kid? 我们给这孩子取什么名字呢Now that we know she's a girl, 现在我们知道了是女孩it kind of ruins my plan for Wally Wolowitz. 沃利·沃罗威茨这名字算是泡汤了Could name her after your mom. 可以用你妈妈的名字Debbie? 黛比No. 算了She hated that name. 她讨厌这个名字Did she have a middle name? 她有中间名吗Melvina. 玛尔维娜Let's keep thinking. 我们继续想想It sucks that she's not here. 真讨厌她不能在这陪着我们I know. 我懂She would've been the best grandma. 她还在的话一定会是最棒的奶奶She did always have candy in her pocket. 她的口袋里的确总是有糖果Yeah. 是啊I was 20 years old before I figured out 我到20岁时才明白Tootsie Rolls weren't naturally warm. 巧克力卷并不是自带温度的I didn't know her five minutes and she asked, 我刚认识她五分钟她就问我Are you a Milky Way or a Snickers girl? 你爱吃星河巧克力还是士力架Thank God you answered right, we wouldn't be here today. 谢天谢地你答对了否则我们现在哪能在这里啊It's hard to believe Howard's having a kid. 真难相信霍华德要做父亲了Yeah. 就是Penny, you're the one who introduced him to Bernie. 佩妮是你把妮妮介绍给他的How many times do I have to say I'm sorry? 我得说多少次对不起才行啊It's not just Howard and Bernadette. I mean, 不仅是霍华德和伯纳黛特look how far we've all come. 看看我们的变化You two got married. 你俩结婚了Sheldon and I are living together. 谢尔顿和我同居了But if my mom asks, we have bunk beds. 但如果我妈问起就说我们睡的上下铺Penny was a struggling actress when we met, 我们刚认识时佩妮是个落魄的小演员and now she's a successful pharmaceutical rep. 现在她是成功的医药代表Okay, you don't have to say struggling every time. 你不用每次都强调落魄You can just say actress. 说演员就行Howard went to space. 霍华德上过太空Bernadette got her doctorate. 伯纳黛特获得了博士学位Sheldon, Howard and I are working with the government 谢尔顿霍华德和我在为政府做on our quantum gyroscope. 量子陀螺仪We've all come a long way. 我们都有了长足的进步There's a lot to be proud of. 很多都值得骄傲For God's sake, just drive in the knife, why don't you! 老天爷你们干脆一刀捅死小爷算了- What's your problem? - Well, you're all thinking -你发什么疯 -你们都认为that I'm the only one who hasn't done anything worthwhile. 我是唯一一个没有任何建树的人I was not thinking it. 我没这样想Although, now that you point it out, it is undeniable. 不过既然你自己挑明了这的确是不可否认的事实Raj, if it's any consolation, 拉杰希望这话能让你心理平衡一些I'm no better off than I was ten years ago. 我和十年前混得一样惨Oh, yay! 好棒I have a doctorate in astrophysics 我是天体物理学的博士and I'm every bit as awesome 我和面色苍白的as the pasty-faced owner of a comic book store! 漫画店老板一样"优秀"Raj! Show some compassion. 拉杰有点同情心好吗Those are things that we think but don't say. 这些话只能想不能说出来Excuse me. 失陪了Sorry, Stuart. 抱歉斯图尔特Hey, I'm in a hospital and I'm not the patient. 我在医院但不是病人I'm fine. 我乐着呢Come on, Bernie, breathe. 好了妮妮呼吸Remember what you learned in birthing class. 还记得在生产课上学的吗I remember thinking, this is stupid, 我记得我觉得这样做很傻逼and I was right! 我是对的Do you want me to get the nurse? 要我叫护士吗No! If one more person puts their fingers near my uterus, 不要再有人胆敢将手指靠近我的子宫I'm gonna cross my legs and snap 'em off! 我会用"夺命剪刀脚"将手指掰断I've come to peace with my relationship with my parents. 我与父母的关系得到了缓解That was a big milestone for me. 对我来说这是重要的里程碑Oh, speaking of personal growth, 说到个人成长I recently tried eating Swiss chard. 我最近尝试吃了瑞士甜菜You know, I didn't swallow it, but Amy said it counted. 我只嚼没咽但艾米说这样就很棒了Still a loser or did you turn things around 依然是废柴吗还是说你离开的这段时间while you were gone? 扭转乾坤咸鱼翻身You know, Raj, honey, 拉杰亲爱的you're being too hard on yourself. 你对自己太严苛了When I first met you, you couldn't even talk to women. 我刚认识你时你甚至不敢跟女人说话I mean, you couldn't even talk if one was in the room. 只要房间里有一个女人你就不敢出声Oh, great, now I can say 很好现在我可以说things like I can't believe you're breaking up with me. "我真不敢相信你要和我分手"Why are you breaking up with me, "你为什么和我分手"Yes, I'll still help you move. "是我还是会帮你搬家的"Anyone else want to try? 还有人想试试吗Uh, yeah, I got something. 我有话要说Raj, 拉杰not everybody could be a dog owner. 不是所有人都能做狗的主人Oh, what? Did your doggie break up with you too? 怎么啦你的狗狗也和你分手了吗Hey, I bought M&Ms at the vending machine 我在自动贩卖机买了巧克力豆and two bags came out. 结果出来两包I bought the first one, 第一包是我买的it didn't fall. 投币后没出来Here. 给She's here, the baby's here! 她出生了宝宝出生了Congratulations! 恭喜了How's Bernadette? 伯纳黛特好吗Tired, but great. 很累但是很好They're both great. 母女都平安Does the baby have a name yet? 给宝宝取了名字吗We have named her Halley. 我们给她取名叫哈雷Oh, like Halley's comet. 哈雷彗星的名字Exactly. 是的Also like the comet, Bernadette said 与哈雷彗星相同的还有一点she's not gonna have sex with me for another 75 years.伯纳黛特说她每隔75年才和我上床一次That's not a real thing, he's just joking. 这不是真的他只是开玩笑I'm gonna get back. 我要回去了Thank you for staying up, I can't wait for Halley to meet 感谢你们的陪伴我迫不及待想让哈雷见见her new aunts and uncles 她的叔叔阿姨们and godfather. 还有教父Really? 真的吗Of course. 当然You hear that, Stuart?! 听到了吗斯图尔特I've got a dog and a godchild, you have nothing! 我有狗有教女你屁都没有Oh, look at all the babies! 看这些小宝宝Some will be successful, 有些会成为成功人士some may be homeless. 有些可能会做流浪汉It's fun to think about. 想想就觉得有趣I wonder which one's Halley. 不知道哪个是哈雷Kind of hard to see the names. 很难看清楚名字Mm, that one kind of looks like Bernadette. 那个长的像伯纳黛特They all look the same to me. 我觉得都长一个样子Guys, 伙计们she's my goddaughter, 她是我的教女I think I'll know when I see her. 我想我看到她时会认出来的That one. 那个Well, that was quite a day. 好累的一天It was. 是的Bernadette had her baby, 伯纳黛特生了孩子I made it to Wizarding World, 我去了魔法世界and now it is time to complete your birthday celebration. 现在是时候完成你的生日庆典了Hankius 听我所令pankius. 宽衣解带I was afraid you'd be too tired. 我还担心你会太累呢Amy, I just saw a magic train 艾米我刚看到了魔法火车and reported somebody for cutting the line. 还举报了有人插队If that's not foreplay, I don't know what is. 如果这都不算前戏那我不知道还能怎么戏了。

Previously on The Big Bang Theory... 《生活大爆炸》前情提要Actually, I-I need to talk to both of you about your paper. 事实上我要跟你俩说说你们论文的事Oh, right, how are the citations coming? 引文查得怎么样了Um...We came a-across a-a Russian paper 我们发现了一篇苏联论文that seems to disprove super-asymmetry. 似乎能驳倒超不对称性that seems to disprove super-asymmetry. 时至今日Okay, Sheldon and Amy are still pretty upset 听我说谢尔顿与艾米还在为about their theory being disproved. 他们的理论被推翻而难过So we have made a list of subjects 所以我们列出了一系列for everyone to avoid. 大家应该避免的话题对称性Asymmetry.--- Symmetry. - 不对称性Uh, SimCity-- 游戏《模拟城市》sounds too much like symmetry. 发音跟对称性这词太像That also applies to The Simpsons, Simba from The Lion King, 也音似的《辛普森家庭》《狮子王》里的辛巴and cymbals. 还有钹也都不行Russia or Russian in any context. 任何俄罗斯与俄罗斯人话题The country, the dressing, the roulette. 国家服饰甚至俄罗斯轮盘赌Uh, also no talk of Rocky IV. 也不许聊电影《洛奇4》Why Rocky IV? 为什么不能聊Because he fights a Russian. 因为主角的对手是俄罗斯人I'm sorry about her. 贱内出丑了抱歉We should just try and avoid anything that makes them think 我们应该尽量避免任何会联想到of their project or science 他们的研究或者科学or Nobel Prizes or successes or failures. 以及诺贝尔奖还有成功与失败- Hi! - Hey, guys. -大家好啊 -你们来啦What are you guys doing? 你们在做什么呢Nothing. 没什么Nothing? 没什么Like what my career has come to? Thanks a lot. 就像我的事业也没什么一样吗谢谢啊Nice going. 干得漂亮What are you doing? 你在做什么Eating, reading, 吃饭阅读watching television, listening to the radio. 看电视听广播What does it look like I'm doing? 不然你觉得我是在干嘛Is that asparagus? I thought you hate asparagus. 那是芦笋吗我以为你讨厌芦笋啊I thought so, too, but I also thought super-asymmetry 我也曾这么以为但我也以为超非对称性was a good idea, so what else am I wrong about? 是个很棒的点子啊谁知道我还有哪里错了Oh, so now you're reevaluating every opinion you've ever had?所以现在你要重审此生做过的所有决定吗Yes. I am following the example 没错我要追随着of 17th century philosopher Rene Descartes. 17世纪哲学家勒奈·笛卡尔的脚步He subjected all his beliefs to radical doubt 他认为所有知觉感官的知识都可以被怀疑so that he could build a bedrock belief 并将此作为形而上学中最基本的出发点and build his cognitive life back up on firm principles.然后将他的感官认知建立在稳固原则上Ugh! Still yucky, still yucky. 还是难吃超难吃Sheldon, I know you're upset about the paper, okay. 谢尔顿我知道你很为论文难过I'm upset, too. 我也很难过I mean, I was so sure we were right. 我本来好确定我们命中红心了Every fiber of my being felt like this was it. 我全身上下每一处都确信This was the one. How can I trust my instincts anymore? 就是这个理论了以后我还怎么相信自己直觉Well, just because our theory was wrong, 我们的理论出了错that doesn't mean you're wrong about everything. 不代表你身边的所有事物都是错的Doesn't it? I've always thought I hated jazz, maybe I was wrong. 没错吗我一直觉得我很讨厌爵士或许我错了呢Maybe it's great to hear all the notes at once. 或许听所有音符大杂烩一般感觉超棒I'm trying, I'm really trying! 我在努力真的很努力尝试了- What you eating? - Chicken fried steak. -你在吃什么 -炸牛排What? You can't have chicken fried steak 什么你不可以一大早起来first thing in the morning. 就吃炸牛排当早餐啊Hey, you knew I was a bad boy when you married me.你嫁给我的时候早知道我是个坏男孩了Come on, you want a piece of this? 怎么样想要来品尝这鲜肉吗You or the steak? 你这块肉还是牛排Me. I'm not sharing the steak. 当然是我我才不分享这牛排Hey, you guys busy? 你们在忙吗No, what's going on? 没怎么了I'm really worried about Sheldon. 我很担心谢尔顿I've never seen him this down. 我从没看过他这么低落Have you tried making him a cup of tea? 你试过给他泡杯茶吗He's reevaluated tea. 他重新审视了茶这玩意Now he thinks it's nothing but leaf soup. 现在他觉得只不过是热叶子汤罢了That's a good point. 挺有道理啊- No, it's not. - No, it's not. -有个屁啦 -毫无道理He's rethinking everything. 他在重新审视每件事How long is it gonna be before he gets to me? 谁知道什么时候就开始审视我了It's that bad, huh?Oh. 么严重啊这I'm afraid so. I just... I don't know what to do. 好像是的... 我真不知道该怎么办了I have something that might help. 我有个法宝或许有用It's-it's a recording of the only person 这份录像是由世上唯一一位whose opinion Sheldon actually respects. 谢尔顿会尊重他看法的人所录Hawking? 霍金教授吗Feynman? 他的偶像费曼No, himself. 不是他自己It's a pep talk he made when he was a kid. 是他小时候给自己录的打气谈话He gave it to me years ago and told me to save it 他在多年前交给了我让我保存好for a real emergency. 在生死存亡之际用What? You didn't break it out 什么你怎么不在谢尔顿之前宣布when he declared his room a sovereign nation 他的房间是主权国家and waged a trade war against us? 并且对我们发动贸易战时拿出来His major export is talking. I didn't want that anyway. 他国家的主要出口货品是废话我本来也不想要Is that a VCR? 那是录像机吗Yeah, Amy asked if we had one she could borrow 艾米问我有没有的借and I just want to make sure it still works. 我想先确定一下还好不好用What's on the tape? 录像带里是什么Not sure. I used to record a lot of Jeopardy! For my mom, 不确定我以前替我妈录了很多《危险边缘》然后参赛者得猜出"原问题"是什么知名游戏节目游戏形式是先给出"答案"与方向but if I push play and you see some naked people... 但如果我按播放后出现了赤身裸体的人... Got it. What is porn? 知道题目了 "什么是黄片"Ooh, we were looking for "Vintage '80s erotica," 正确题目应该是"经典80年代情色片"but I'll accept it. 但你的答案我也接受Hello, everybody. 大家好I am The Great Howdini. 我是伟大的霍迪尼Put it back on. You look adorable. 继续播啊你看起来好可爱It's just a practice tape 只是录的练习带而已from when I was trying to become a member of the Magic Castle. 那时候我想加入魔术城堡from when I was trying to become a member of the Magic Castle. 洛杉矶知名夜店成员只收魔术师与魔术爱好者I didn't know you auditioned there. 我都不知道你去试镜过Oh, I never went through with it. 我当时没有坚持下去I watched the tape and realized I wasn't good enough. 我看了影带觉得自己不够格You know that trick where you saw a mannequin in half?你知道那个把人偶给锯成两半的魔术吧- Don't you mean a lady? - Thank God it was not a lady. -不都是锯女郎吗 -幸好当时不是女郎I'd just be getting out of jail. 不然我估计最近才刚出狱Come on, you're a good magician. 别这样你是很棒的魔术师Really? You always called magic dumb. 真的吗你总说魔术很傻逼You can be good at something dumb. 你可以是一件傻逼事的高手啊- You know what, you should audition now. - It's fine. -我觉得呢你可以现在去试镜啊 -不用了I don't need to be a member of the most elite magical society我并没有一定要成为地球表面最强的on the face of the earth. 精英魔术师社团的成员Sounds like you still want it. 感觉你还是很有兴趣的啊And I don't want our kids to watch this tape one day我也不想有一天我们的孩子看到这录像带and think their dad is a quitter. 然后觉得自己爸爸半途而废Oh, we don't have to show it to them. 我们不用给孩子们看啊Oh, I'm definitely showing it to them. 但我绝对要给孩子们看Hey. 我回来啦Hello. 回来啦"Fine with flags"? "还行的旗帜"Yes, flags-- 是的旗帜嘛up there flapping around on poles. 在旗杆上左摇右摆If you think about it, they're just the strippers of the emblem world. 仔细想想它们算是徽章符号界的钢管舞女了Well, I got something that I think might cheer you up. 我觉得我有能让你高兴起来的东西It is the emergency pep talk you made when you were a kid.是你小时候给自己录的危机时刻打气录像带Oh, that. 这个啊I was saving it for the day they stop making Star Wars movies.我本来想留到《星球大战》电影不再出续集那天I don't think that's ever gonna happen. 但看现在这势头估计是没那天了How long has it been since you've seen it? 你有多久没看过这影带了Not since the day I recorded it. 从我录下来后我就没看过No, I had just watched Back to the Future II, 当时我刚看完电影《回到未来2》where Marty McFly gets a glimpse of his future self 当马蒂·麦克弗莱瞥见未来的他时and that got me thinking, 我就开始想the day may come where I needed my help, 有一天我也许会需要自己的帮助like they did with that movie. That was not great. 就像那部电影一样烂得不帮不行Okay, all hooked up. 好了接好了Here we go. 开始吧Oh, look how cute you were. 看看你小时候多可爱啊Amy please, of course I was cute. Look how I turned out. 艾米可爱是自然的看我现在就知道了Hello, Sheldon. 你好谢尔顿Hello, Sheldon. 你好谢尔顿If you're watching this, 如果你正在播放这录像I assume something bad has happened. 我猜你一定遇到很糟糕的事Something unfortunate and unforeseen. 倒霉至极又出人意料的事Something that's making you question everything. 甚至让你开始怀疑人生I'm so smart. 瞧我聪明吧Now just to make sure it's really you watching this现在我要确认一下观看这个录像的是你本人and not an imposter, what am I thinking of? 而不是冒名的骗子我现在脑子里在想什么On the count of three. 数到三说出来On the count of three. One, two, three.- Robot monkey butler. - Robot monkey butler. -机器猴子管家 -机器猴子管家Okay, good. 很好Should I leave you two alone? 我让你俩单独待一会吧No, this is gonna be inspiring. You should watch. 不很有教育意义的你应该看看Sheldon, never forget, 谢尔顿不要忘记no matter how bad things seem, 不管事情看起来有多糟糕you can al... 你永远都...What? What... No. N... 怎么回事怎么了不要啊My dad taped over it 我爸爸用这盒带子with one of his stupid high school football games. 去录他那些白痴高中橄榄球赛了Sorry. 我很遗憾You know, it doesn't matter, nothing matters. 算了无所谓了什么都无所谓了Is there anything I can do? 我能帮你做些什么吗Yes. You can build me a time machine 可以呀你造一台时光机so I can go back and tell my younger self to give up, 让我穿越回去劝年幼的我趁早放弃吧because nothing's gonna work out the way he wants. 因为世上一切都不会遂了他的意I was thinking a nice cup of leaf soup. 我本来是想帮你弄碗上好叶子汤What's all this? 这是什么呀Your magic tricks from the garage. 你的魔术器材呀从车库翻出来的Your wands, your top hat with the stuffed mouse inside. 你的魔杖你的大礼帽和里面的填充老鼠玩具I never had a stuffed mouse. 我没有填充老鼠玩具呀Okay, do not wear this hat. 好还是别戴这帽子了Why is it all in the living room? 怎么都搬到客厅来了Because I think The Great Howdini 因为我觉得伟大的霍迪尼deserves to be a member of the Magic Castle. 应该成为魔术城堡的一员That's sweet, but I'm not that guy anymore. 你真好不过我已不是从前的我了I've outgrown it. 我已经长大了Have you? 有吗Look, I know you still want this, and I can help you. 我知道你心里还渴望这些我可以帮助你All those pageants I did as a kid-- 我小时候参加的那些选美活动I could teach you how to present yourself, 我可以教你如何展示自己connect with the judges, sabotage the competition. 和评委建立互动给对手下眼药Whoa, whoa, no one's sabotaging anybody. 等等不可以暗算别人Of course not. 当然不是暗算Little girls in ball gowns trip, it happens. 穿礼服裙的小女孩摔倒可是常事Trust me, I'm gonna be the pageant mom to you 相信我我会像我妈一样that my mom was to me. 扮演你的选美妈妈I thought you hated your mom for making you do that. 我以为你不喜欢你妈逼你比赛的事呢More talk like that and you're not getting any dinner. 再说这样的浑话晚饭你就别吃了Amazing how it all comes back. 多神奇呀回忆蜂拥而来Yes? 在Hey, Beverly.--- Hello, Mother. 你好贝弗利-你好妈妈Hello, Leonard. Hello, Penny. 你好莱纳德你好佩妮To what do I owe this call? 你们有什么事要来烦我呢I need your professional advice. 我需要你专业的建议Well, I'd love to help you out, dear, 我很愿意帮助你亲爱的but I'm very busy at the moment. 但我现在非常忙Perhaps we can schedule a time next week. 也许我们可以约个下周的时间It's about Sheldon. 是有关谢尔顿的Oh, well, I-I suppose 那我想I can spare a minute or two. 我可以空出几分钟Wh-Why did you just say you're too busy, but... 你刚才不是说你很忙吗可是... Leonard, please, not everything is about you. 莱纳德拜托不是任何事都围着你转Penny, go on. 佩妮说吧Well, ever since his paper got disproven, 自从他的论文被推翻后he's been a wreck. 他一直郁郁寡欢He's been sad and... and angry. 他既悲伤又气愤He just seems kind of broken. 整个人像是废掉了Well, it sounds like he may be grieving. 听起来他正处于沉痛哀悼中Really? Over a theory? 真的吗为了一个理论Of course. You can grieve over any emotional loss. 当然你可以哀悼任何一种情感上的失去The more you care about something, 你越在意一件事the greater the trauma of losing it. 失去它的伤痛就越明显Oh, boy. He cared about this a lot. 老天他特别在乎这件事Yeah. What can we do to help him? 我们能为他做些什么吗Well, grieving is a process. 哀悼是一种过程Every culture has its own rituals and traditions 每个文化都有自己的仪式和传统to facilitate mourning. 来表达哀悼The ancient Egyptians had their mummification, 远古的埃及人有他们的木乃伊the Tibetans had their sky funerals... 藏族同胞有天葬的传统And when I was little and my dog died, my mom sat me down 我小时候养的狗死了我妈让我坐下来and very gently told me that she wished the truck 非常温柔地告诉我她希望had hit my dad instead. 那辆卡车压死的是我爸I was trying to lighten the mood. 我那是为了逗你开心Your dog had just died. 你的狗不是刚死了吗Howard and I have been working really hard on his audition, 霍华德和我一直在排练他的试演so it'll be helpful to get another set of eyes on it. 所以能让其他人来点评一定很有帮助Well, as someone who has watched every episode 作为一个看过无数集of America's Got Talent, 《美国达人》的观众I'm getting pretty good at telling 我对于真正的美国达人when some American's got talent. 是非常有鉴赏力的Seriously, 真的Seriously, 海蒂·克鲁姆德国超模《美国达人》评委Heidi and I agree, like, 90% of the time. 海蒂和我90%情况下都意见一致All right. 好了Don't be afraid to be brutally honest. 不要害怕尽管直言不讳Like my mom used to say when I was doing pageants, 就像我参加选美时我妈说过"Tears only make your eyes sparkle brighter." "泪花只会让你的眼睛更加闪亮"That is both sad and true. 这句话又残酷又在理Half my Instagram is after a good cry. 我网上一半的照片都是大哭之后拍的Howie, you ready? 华仔你好了吗Yeah. 好了I now present The Great Howdini. 有请伟大的霍迪尼出场♪ I've got magic to do, just for you ♪ ♪ 我的魔法为你绽开 ♪♪ I've got magic to do, just for you ♪ Magic to do - Ben Vereen♪ I've got miracle plays to play ♪ ♪ 见证奇迹不要眨眼 ♪♪ I've got parts to perform, hearts to warm ♪ ♪ 好戏开幕我心永远 ♪♪ Kings and things to take by storm ♪ ♪ 风风雨雨迎头而上 ♪♪ As we go along our ♪ ♪ 让我们一路洒下 ♪♪ Way. ♪ ♪ 欢乐 ♪Hello. I'm The Great Howdini from Altadena, California. 你好我是来自加州阿尔塔迪纳的伟大的霍迪尼I have no brothers or sisters 我是家中的独子and my favorite thing to eat is grilled cheese. 我最喜欢的食物是烤奶酪When does the magic start? 魔术什么时候开始It already started. 魔法已经开始了Hi. How are you guys doing? 你们还好吧A little better, if you can believe it. 进步了一点不管你信不信Sheldon? 谢尔顿Go away. 走开啦Buddy, come on, let us help you. 老兄别这样让我们帮助你吧The only person who could help me was erased 唯一能帮我的人已经被by the Medford High Wolves. 梅福德高中的群狼队洗掉了Oh, that's funny. My high school was also the wolves. 说来好笑我的高中校队也叫群狼队No? Not now? Okay. 怎么不能提这事好吧Look, t-this might seem strange, but, uh, 这事听起来很奇怪但是we thought it might help you get some closure if you had a chance我们想如果你能正式地和你的论文道别to properly say good-bye to your paper. 也许会对你现在的情况有帮助Yeah, you know, we could say a few words, 没错我们可以发表几句感想you could talk about what it meant to you 你可以抒发一下它对你的意义and-and we could bury it somewhere. 然后我们可以找个地方把它埋了You mean have a funeral for our theory? 你是说为我们的理论办个葬礼Yeah. 没错That's ridiculous. 太荒唐了I thought so, too, but my mom thought it might work. 我本来也这么认为但我妈说也许会有用Beverly thought it would help? We should try it. 贝弗利觉得会有帮助吗那应该试试Wha-- How come when you thought it was my idea... 你以为办法是我想的时怎么就... Leonard, please, this is not about you. 莱纳德拜托不是任何事都围着你转I guess we could bury it in the park. 我们可以把它埋到公园里Yeah, where dogs do their business 你是指狗狗上大小号and other dogs sniff that business? I don't think so. 然后其他狗狗去闻的地方吗得了吧What would you like to do, Sheldon? 你想怎么做呢谢尔顿The only fitting send-off: 只有一种送别仪式适合a Viking funeral. 维京葬礼You mean, like, push it out into a lake 你是指把它推进湖中心and shoot it with a flaming arrow? 然后用点着火的箭射它吗This guy gets it. 这哥们懂行How about a bathtub and a match? 用浴缸和火柴代替行不How about a bathtub and a flaming arrow? 用浴缸和点着火的箭行不How about a bathtub, a match and an ice-cold Yoo-hoo after? 用浴缸火柴和一杯冰巧克力饮品行吗Sold. 成交Would you like to say something? 你想说些什么吗Y-Yes, thank you. 好的谢谢I know this is just a scientific theory, 我知道这只是个科学理论but to me, it was more than that. 但对我来说远不止此It described the universe in a new and beautiful way. 它用一种美妙的全新方式描述了宇宙I want that to be the universe we live in, 我希望我们生活在那个宇宙中but I guess it's not. 但看样子不可能了Would you like to shoot the arrow? 艾米你想射箭吗It's kind of beautiful, isn't it? 挺美的不是吗Yeah, it is. 是很美It's getting kind of close to the curtain. 火离浴帘越来越近了It's in water, it's fine. 在水里呢没事的- Looks like we both had theories that were wrong. - Okay... -看来我们都提出了错误的理论 -好了Are you getting sick? 你病了吗No, I have glitter in my nose. 不是我鼻子进了亮片Just your nose? 只有鼻子吗Consider yourself lucky. 那你算幸运的了Hey, I'm gonna take tomorrow off 我打算明天休假不上班so we can spend the whole day running the act. 我们就有一整天时间排练了You know what, it has been so much fun working on this with you, but... 其实跟你一起排练魔术很快乐-It hasn't.But what?-然而什么不是真正的快乐--I'm not gonna audition. 我不去参加试镜了Hey, I didn't raise a quitter. 我拉扯大的孩子可不会轻言放弃You didn't raise me at all. 我又不是你养大的Look, I get that you're scared, but we just have to push past that. 我明白你很害怕我们战胜恐惧就行了I'm not scared. I don't like the act. 我不是害怕我不喜欢那套魔术It's over-the-top 它太浮夸了and weird and has more jazz hands than magic. 又奇葩耍爵士乐手势多过变魔术Why didn't you say something earlier? 你之前怎么不说呢You seemed like you were so happy, 因为你看起来很开心and then when I tried to say something, 然后等我想跟你坦白时you seemed like you were so mad. 你又好像准备河东狮吼Hey, this isn't about me. 这事我又不是主角I just wanted you to have your dream, 我只是希望你能完成梦想and I wanted to control everything 而且我想一手掌控about how you looked and acted so that your victory was mine. 你的造型和表演这样你的胜利就属于我的了Well, that's honest. 你还真诚实But if I'm gonna go through with this, 但如果我要做这件事I have to do it my own way. 就必须用我自己的方式I respect that, 我尊重你and I'm glad that I helped lead you to this moment. 我也很欣慰是我带领你走到这一步Stop trying to make this your victory! 别再说成是你的功劳了Why are you watching that? 你为什么在看这个I'm just looking to see 我就想看看if there's anything left of your speech. 还有没有剩下你的打气录像It's not important. I remember everything I said. 不重要我记得自己说过什么And? 然后呢It was good, it just would've meant more coming from me. 很鼓舞只是听到我自己说出来会更有意义All right, bring it in. 好了都过来Is that your dad? 那是你爸吗It is. 是的I've only seen pictures of him. 我只看过他的照片I know we're down, by a lot. 我知道我们落后很多And if I'm being honest with you, 说实话we're probably not gonna win this one. 我们估计是不会赢这场了In fact, we're definitely not gonna win this one. 事实上我们肯定会输Do you want me to turn it off? 你想我关掉吗But we're not gonna quit, either. 但我们不会放弃And if we do lose, 如果我们真的输了you need to know that doesn't make you losers. 你们也得知道自己不是人生输家You learn as much about who you are and what you're made of从失败中学到的自我认识和自我价值from failing as you do from success. 一点不比从胜利中学到的少Maybe more. 甚至更多So you can spend the next half feeling sorry for yourselves, 所以下半场你们可以自怨自艾or you can get out there and give them hell. 也可以让他们尝尝地狱的滋味Yeah! Let's give them hell! 没错地狱的滋味Oh-- watch your mouth, your mom might... 别说这词你妈可能会...I remember that game. 我记得那场比赛Did they win? 他们最后赢了吗Oh, no. 没有No, they lost so bad, the other team 他们落后非常多let one of their cheerleaders try to kick a field goal. 对手甚至让他们的拉拉队员来射门Well, that was a nice speech. Too bad it didn't work. 那番话很激励人心可惜没起作用Maybe it did. 也许起作用了What do you mean? 什么意思I've been acting like the game is over, 我一直表现得像是比赛结束了but it's only halftime. 但其实只打了半场而已And there's a lot more physics left to play. 还有很多物理比赛可以打Wow, was that your first ever sports metaphor? 这是你人生第一次用运动作比喻吗It was. 还真是And I think it was a home run. 而且还是一记全垒打呢That's two. 两个比喻了It's interesting. 真有意思I've always thought that my father's journey and my own were so different,我一直以为我爸和我的人生路途大不相同but he also faced failure and setbacks. 但他同样面对过失败和挫折Maybe our lives mirrored each other more than I thought.也许我们人生互相映射的地方比我想的要多So, from one viewpoint, 所以从一种角度来说you and your father's lives are asymmetrical, 你和你父亲的人生不对称but from another vantage point, they're symmetrical. 但从另一个角度来说是对称的Sheldon, 谢尔顿what if symmetry and asymmetry are observer-relative?对称和不对称会不会是随观察者不同而变化That would mean that the Russian paper was right... 那意味着那篇苏联论文是对的But only from one perspective. 但只是从一种角度来说If we look at it from a deeper view in more dimensions, 如果从更多维度的另一角度来看our theory still stands. 我们的理论仍然成立Not only stands, I-it might be an even bigger idea 不只是成立甚至有可能than the one we were originally proposing. 比我们原来提出的假设更宏大Go get your laptop. We have a paper to fix. 去把电脑拿来我们要修改论文Okay. 好的Thanks, Dad. 谢谢你爸爸We're gonna give them hell. 我们会让他们尝尝地狱的滋味Hi, I'm The Great Howdini, 大家好我是伟大的霍迪尼and it's an honor to be auditioning at the Magic Castle. 很荣幸能来到魔术城堡进行试镜Could I borrow your watch, sir? 我能借一下你的手表吗先生- Sure. - Thank you. -好啊 -谢谢Ooh, Rolex, fancy. I'll get it right back to you. 劳力士呢真高档等会就还你Observe one very expensive watch, 请看这是一支昂贵的手表one wooden mallet. 这是一个木锤Do I dare? I do. 我敢砸吗当然Would you be amazed if your watch survived that pounding? 如果你的手表没被砸坏你会感到惊奇吗I think you would-- behold. 你一定会的见证奇迹。

Aw, man, did you see this post from Raj? 你看到拉杰刚才发的状态了吗What? Is it another video of him and his dog 发什么了又一部他跟他的狗Lady-and-the-Tramping some spaghetti? "小姐与流浪汉式"地共吃面条影片吗片中两条狗从一条面条的两端慢慢吃到亲嘴迪士尼卡通电影经典段落No. He can't afford his apartment, 不是他住不起那个公寓了and he's asking if anyone knows of a cheap place to live. 在问有没有人知道哪里有便宜的住处I want to say "India," but it seems mean. 我想回"印度" 但感觉太贱了What's so funny? 什么事那么好笑Raj is looking for a cheap place to live, 拉杰在找便宜的地方住and I wrote "India." 我回了"印度"Don't post that; be supportive. 别回这个给人家点支持Maybe you should be supportive of my hilarious jokes.那你怎么不支持一下我的这些搞笑段子Fine, what should we do? 行那我们该怎么做We're smart. I'm sure we can think of something. 我们这么聪明肯定能想出办法You want to let him live here? 你想让他住我们这里吗Oh, we're smarter than that. 我们绝对比那聪明多了I know our apartment's small, 我知道我们的公寓很小but I think we can make room. 但挤一挤还是能挤出位子吧No, Sheldon. 谢尔顿不行We are not getting a life-size Spider-Man statue. 不许买真人大小的蜘蛛侠人像We do have Sheldon's old room. 家里的确还有谢尔顿的旧房间If he really needs a place to stay, 如果他真的需要落脚处I guess we should offer it to him. 我们可以让给他住You're a good friend. 你真是个好兄弟Am I still a good friend if I wait and hope 那如果我先等一会儿并期待that Howard offers him a place to live first? 霍华德先邀他去住他家还算好兄弟吗You're an even better husband. 你还是个更棒的老公I know if the roles were reversed, 我知道如果是换作我落魄he would do it for me. 他一定会伸出援手Where would he stay? 那他睡哪啊We already have Stuart. 我们已经收留斯图尔特了Well, we can make some space in the garage. 我们可以在车库里腾出位子啊Maybe put a cot out there, 给他弄个小床get him a space heater, maybe a hot plate. 再弄台小暖气或者一台电热炉That sounds awful. 听起来好惨啊Let's hope he thinks so, too. 希望他也会这么觉得For the last time, 我再说一次no Hulk, no Batman, no life-size statues. 绿巨人蝙蝠侠任何真人大小人像都不行I'm starting to think you didn't mean it 我开始觉得其实when you said you wanted to spruce up the place. 你并不是真心想要布置一下家里Hello. 你好Hey, uh, so we've been talking, 我与妮妮讨论了一下and if you need a place to stay, 如果你需要地方住we'd be happy to fix up the garage for you. 我们很乐意帮你收拾一下车库That would be amazing! 那就太棒了I was literally just looking at my moving boxes, 我刚才真的就看着我的纸箱子trying to pick one to live in. 寻思着要挑哪个住进去了I know it's not ideal, 虽然条件不太理想but you'd have plenty of space for your furniture, 但好歹里面有很多空间放你的家具and there's this cool button 还有个很酷的按钮that makes an entire wall go up and down. 能让你其中一面"墙"卷起来又放下去呢I cannot thank you enough. 真是太感谢你了It is our pleasure. 能帮你我们也很高兴Hey, can you hold on one sec? 你能等我一下吗Hello? 你好Hey, buddy, you still looking for a place to live? 兄弟你还在找地方住吗Uh... yeah. 是啊Why do you ask? 为什么这么问You know, we have the extra bedroom, 我们这里有多一间空房间and if you need it, it's yours. 如果你有需要那就让你住吧Oh, my God, that's so generous! 天啊你们真是太大方了It's the least we can do. 小事一件不足挂齿I-I really appreciate it. 我真的很感谢Uh, can you hold on one second? 你能稍等我一下吗Hey, so, Howard, what's the bathroom situation gonna be? 霍华德所以我的浴室是怎么样Well, there's a sink out there-- 外面有个水槽...that takes care of half your problems. 能帮你解决你一半的问题But I can use the downstairs bathroom, right? 但是我能用楼下的浴室对吧Yeah. We barely use it, so it'll be like it's yours. 行我们不怎么用跟你的独立卫浴差不多Cool, cool, yeah. 很好很好- Yeah, hold on one second. - Wh...? -那你再稍等我一下 -什么Hey, what's it like sharing a bathroom with Penny? 跟佩妮共用一个浴室是什么感觉Is there hair everywhere? 会不会到处都是她的头发Does she use your loofah? 她会不会偷用你的浴球I don't have a loofah. 我没有浴球Okay, well, if I move in, you can't use mine. 好吧如果我搬进去你也不许用我的Hold on a second. 再等我一下Hey, Howard, uh, how's the Wi-Fi in the garage? 霍华德车库里的无线网信号如何I don't know. 我也不知道Why are you asking all these questions? 你为啥要问这么多问题啊Well, to be honest, Leonard's on the other line, 老实告诉你莱纳德也在跟我通话and he offered me their spare bedroom. 他邀请我去住他家那间空房Great! Go live there. 太好啦住他那儿吧But you made the garage sound so fun. 可是你把住车库说得很有趣啊I just didn't want you to feel bad about it. 我只是不想你觉得住车库很惨Unless Leonard's apartment also has a raccoon 除非莱纳德的公寓也会有浣熊that chews its way in on cold nights, go there! 在冬夜里啃破墙壁爬进来不然就去住吧One second. 等一会儿Okay, I think we're close. 就差最后一步了How do you feel about a mini-fridge in my room? 你对我房里放个小冰箱有意见吗Hey, pal, you want to live here or not? 兄弟你还想不想住了Oh, uh, hi, Penny. Yes, please. 佩妮住住住麻烦您了Uh, Penny, this circular is addressed to "Occupant," 佩妮这张传单是给"住户"的but with our apartment switch, 但是我们现在换着住it's unclear whether it's yours or mine. 我弄不太清是给你还是给我的What's it for? 是干嘛的传单Roofing. 铺屋顶Yeah, it's yours. 那肯定是你的了Okay, thanks. 好吧谢谢"Just throw it out." "直接扔了吧"Speaking of occupants, I'm given to understand 说到住户根据我听到的消息Raj will be moving into my old room. 拉杰会搬到我以前的房间Yeah, for a little while. 是啊暂住一阵What about his dog? 那他的狗呢She'll be in her crate; it's not a big deal. 她会住在她的笼子里问题不大I suppose that's acceptable. 那我还算能接受吧Well, Sheldon's getting a little better with dogs. 谢尔顿现在比较敢接近狗了He even took a picture with Pluto at Disneyland. 他这次还在迪士尼乐园跟布鲁托合照了呢If real dogs gave me buttons, I'd like them, too. 如果真的狗也会送我胸章那我也喜欢他们Well, I think it's very nice 我觉得你们愿意that you're helping out our friend. 帮忙朋友是一件很棒的事I think it's nice that you're taking whatever medication 我倒觉得你也很棒无论艾米给你什么药Amy's clearly giving you. 你都照单全吃And what is that supposed to mean? 这话是什么意思Well, it's like that science thing. 这就跟某个科学定律一样For every action, 有任何举动[作用]you have a gigantic and annoying reaction. 你都会有又大又烦人的反应[反作用]Just when I thought you couldn't get any hotter. 真想不到我老婆美貌与智慧并存啊If you're implying that I'd have some problem 如果你俩是暗示我会不爽with him moving into my room, you're wrong. 拉杰搬进我的房间那你们就错了Raj is in a difficult financial situation, 拉杰现在的财务状况十分困难and I'm glad that he's making changes to improve it. 我很高兴他能做出改变去改善它Do not adjust the dosage. You nailed it. 药量不需要调整你做得很好Don't listen to them. 别听他们胡说What's weird is that Penny almost got a science fact right.奇怪的是佩妮居然差点就说对了一个科学事实I mean, it's unfair; people just assume I'm going to be upset 太不公平了人们都觉得我会不爽by Raj moving into my old room. 拉杰搬进我的旧房间But you are, aren't you? 可你确实是不是吗Oh, I'm outraged. 我不爽到极点Talk to me. Tell me what's going on. 跟我说说到底怎么回事Well, that's been my room since before I met Leonard, 在我没认识莱纳德之前我就住那个房间and now someone else is going to be living in it. 现在却有别人要搬进去住And that someone else is not me. 而那个别人还不是我And you know how I feel about people who aren't me.你也知道我对于不是我的"别人"作何感想There are a lot of memories wrapped up in that room. 我知道那个房间里充满了回忆For me, too. 对我来说也是The first time you told me you loved me was in that room. 你第一次说爱我就是在那个房间Wrong. 错We were standing outside my room in the hallway. 当时我们站在我房间外的走廊And there is the love of which I speak. 这就是我刚说到的爱I realize it's irrational, 我知道这样很不理性but with Raj moving in there, I'm feeling a bit replaced. 但拉杰的入住让我觉得自己被取代了Well, this isn't an easy time for him. 现在对他来说是困难时期He's losing his apartment, he's in debt, 他公寓没了还欠了一屁股债he's probably humiliated. 他可能正羞愧难当呢Yes, probably. 是啊可能But until we know for sure, how can I feel better? 但在确定之前我该怎么才能舒坦呢Can I get anyone anything at all? 你们谁还需要什么吗Raj, you don't have to serve us. 拉杰你不用服务我们It's the least I can do for helping me carry my stuff up. 这是我该做的谢谢你们帮我搬我的家当上楼It was really no problem. 真的没什么大不了的Not for you, Box of Towels. 对你来说当然啦你只搬了一箱毛巾Anyway, thanks again. 总而言之谢谢你们Hey, look at that. 瞧瞧You've got a Raj, we've got a Stuart. 你们有拉杰我们有斯图尔特Maybe we should take them both to the park 或许我们该带他俩去公园and let them run around together. 让他们一起撒欢跑跑I don't know. Yours looks like he has worms. 我不知道你那只看起来身上有虫子You ready to go? 可以走了吗All set. 一切准备妥当What's that? 那是什么A housewarming gift for Raj. 给拉杰的乔迁礼物Well, a bunch of fake snakes better not spring out of it,最好不是一大堆假蛇突然从里面冒出来'cause that was a lousy anniversary present. 因为那是一份超烂的纪念日礼物It's nothing like that. 绝对不会I just, I thought about Raj's situation, 我考虑到拉杰现在的情况and I had a change of heart. 于是我改变了主意You know, and regarding your gift, 而且关于你的礼物you said "Surprise me," and, boy, did I. 是你自己说"给我惊喜" 而我的确"惊"到你了Perfect timing. Food's ready. 时间刚刚好食物都准备好了Uh, wait-- before we eat, I have a little 等等在开吃之前我有一份小小的"Welcome to the building" gift for Raj. "欢迎入住"礼物要给拉杰Wait, is anything gonna jump out... 慢着是不是会蹦出什么...No. I already asked. 不是我问过了Thank you, Sheldon. 谢谢谢尔顿It's a... blank notebook. 是一本...空白的笔记本Well, I had some of my best ideas in that room, 我曾在那个房间里想出过不少好点子and I'm sure you will, too. 我相信你也会的He also never had sex in that room. 他也未曾在那个房间里做过爱呢That's something else to look forward to. 那是另一件值得期盼的事情啊This means a lot. 这对我来说意义重大Well, I know this is a difficult time for you. 我知道现在对你来说是困难时期Y-You're losing your apartment, you're in debt, 你的公寓没了还欠了一屁股债and you just-- you must be humiliated. 你可能...肯定羞愧难当吧Sheldon... 谢尔顿Oh, good grief. 哎呀老天She is such a stickler for citing sources. 她真爱拘泥于细节非得注明出处Those were Amy's words. 那些都是艾米的原话Sheldon... 谢尔顿I know, I know! 我知道我知道"Good grief" was originally said by Charlie Brown, geez. "哎呀老天"是查理·布朗的原话真是够了他犯错或是遇到难题时的口头禅美国著名漫画《史努比》里的主人公You're right, I am humiliated. 你说得对我是羞愧难当Thanks for pointing it out. 多谢当面指出来You're such a jerk. 你真是个混蛋Can you believe this guy? 你们能相信他居然这么说我吗Yes. 能I-I thought that was gonna break the other way. 我还以为会听到另一种答案呢Come on, Sheldon. 走吧谢尔顿Maybe we should just eat at our place. 或许我们应该回自己公寓吃饭Fine. 好吧You took my room. 你占了我的房间You turned my friends against me. 你还让我的朋友跟我翻脸I hope you're happy. 现在你开心啦What do I have to be happy about? 我有什么值得开心的My life's a wreck. 我的人生一团糟How come he can say it and I can't? 为什么他可以说出来而我却不能Just keep walking. 快走吧你Hello, Sheldon. 你好呀谢尔顿What a pleasant surprise. 真是意外之喜呀How are you? 你好吗Honestly, I've been better. 老实说最近好多了Do you have time? 你有时间吗Leonard says you're very busy these days. 莱纳德说你最近很忙Oh, I just say that because he prattles. 我这么说是因为他爱闲聊What's going on? 发生什么事了Well, our friend Raj moved into my old room, 我们的朋友拉杰搬进了我的旧房间and it's brought up a lot of negative feelings for me. 这事导致我产生了很多负面情绪Well, what do you think the loss of your room represents? 你觉得失去你的旧房间代表了什么Beverly, you know I hold you in high esteem. 贝弗利你知道我十分敬重你Can we skip the part where you pretend not to know the answer,我们可以跳过你假装不知道答案的戏码and get to the part where you tell me the answer? 直接进入你告诉我答案的环节吗Very well, but, uh, if you don't mind, 好的但你不介意的话I'd still like to pause for effect. 为了戏剧化效果我还是要停顿一下Now... 现在嘛...You've recently moved in with Dr. Fowler, yes? 你最近和福勒博士同居了对吧I have. 没错Clearly, your old room represents an escape hatch, 显然你的旧房间代表了一个逃生出口and without it, you're forced to confront 倘若失去了这出口你就将被迫面对the terrifying reality of being trapped 和艾米永远生活in a relationship with Amy forever. 在一起的可怕现实I hadn't thought about that. 我从未想过这问题And don't start thinking about it now! 现在也别开始想Hello, Amy. 你好呀艾米Your defensiveness may indicate similar insecurities 你的这种防御表现似乎也在暗示about your relationship with Sheldon. 你对于这份感情有同样的不安全感That's not true! 才不是这样的She said defensively. 她极具防御性地说This isn't about me and Sheldon. 这不是关于我和谢尔顿的问题This is about Rajesh moving in with Leonard and Penny.而是拉杰要搬去和莱纳德还有佩妮一起住Interesting. 有点意思They've found a need to take yet another roommate. 他们发现自己需要再找一个室友了Seems they're avoiding some harsh realities themselves.看来他们也在努力回避二人世界中的残酷现实呀I had no idea 我真没想到all our relationships were such a disaster. 我们这些人的感情生活都是一团乱麻Boy, you're good. 唉呀妈呀你可真厉害That is the word on the street, dear. 道上的确都是这么传的Maybe moving in was a bad idea. 也许搬进来并不是个好主意I haven't been here one day, I'm already causing problems. 我屁股还没坐热就已经开始制造麻烦了You didn't do anything. It's Sheldon. 这不是你的错都怪谢尔顿"You didn't do anything. It's Sheldon." "这不是你的错都怪谢尔顿"That'd make a nice needlepoint pillow. 这句话太适合绣在靠垫上了So, relax. We're happy to have you. 放轻松我们很欢迎你来住Thank you, but how do I know 多谢不过我怎么知道you're not saying that just to be nice? 你不是为了安慰我才这么说的呢Do you actually pay for that haircut? 你怎么花钱剪了个狗啃似的发型That'll do it. 现在我知道了Hey, Raj, I owe you an apology. 拉杰我欠你一个道歉Look, could you please put your dog on a leash? 你能给你那狗拴个绳子吗Sheldon, she's fine. 谢尔顿我这狗不咬人Well, then at least hold her still 那你把她抱紧了so I can pretend she's stuffed. 我好假装她是个动物标本Raj, I let my emotions get the best of me, 拉杰我一时没控制住自己的情绪and I unfairly took it out on you. 乱拿你来出气Thank you. I appreciate that. 谢谢谢谢你这么说No, I can't take all the credit. 不功劳不在我身上I spoke with Leonard's mother, and she made me feel better. 我和莱纳德的妈妈聊了聊她开解了我I don't know who you talked to, but that wasn't my mother. 我不知道你和谁聊了但会开解人的一定不是我妈Beverly pointed out that I'm experiencing insecurities 贝弗利指出我在和艾米的恋爱关系中in my relationship with Amy, 存在不安全感in the same way that Leonard and Penny are in their relationship.就像莱纳德和佩妮也存在同样的问题What are you talking about? We're fine. 你在乱说什么呀我们俩好着呢Yes, you're fine as long as you have a buffer 你俩好着的前提是有一个缓冲人同住living with you to distract from your marital problems. 才能帮你们转移婚姻中出现的问题It used to be me. 从前我就是那个缓冲人It used to be me. 《星际迷航》中的外星毛绒生物Now it's Raj and his attack Tribble. 现在轮到拉杰和他的攻击性毛毛球了Anyway, I'm sorry for everything. 总之我很抱歉Oh, and FYI-- if you cry while they're fighting, 顺带一提如果他们吵架时你哇哇大哭they'll take you to McDonald's. 他们就会带你去麦当劳Hello, Leonard. 你好莱纳德Why are you saying we have marital problems? 你为什么说我们有婚姻问题呀We don't have marital problems! 我们才没有婚姻问题呢I see. You must be yelling at me out of wedded bliss. 我懂了那你是因为太过幸福美满才对我哇哇叫Look, just because we took our friend in does not mean 就因为我们收留朋友来住that Penny and I are afraid to be alone. 并不代表我和佩妮害怕两人独处Yeah, this is a special circumstance. 没错这次是特殊情况Sheldon mentioned you tried to get your brother 谢尔顿提到你也曾想让to live with you, as well. 你哥哥住到家里来Yeah, well, a circumstance can happen twice 是啊有些情况就算发生两次and still be special. 仍然可以算作特殊Do you agree with that? 你同意吗Well, now that you point it out... 既然你这么指出来...Are you kidding me? 你疯了吧We do seem to keep finding roommates. 我们好像真的一直在找新室友Now you're taking her side? 你现在和她站一边了吗Dear, I would never come between you and Leonard. 亲爱的我永远不会夹在你和莱纳德之间That's for your parade of roommates to do. 这是你们一加强连的室友的工作Howard? 霍华德Howard! 霍华德It's me! It's just me! 是我是我呀What are you doing here?! 你跑到我们卧室来干嘛Well, I texted you, but you didn't respond. 人家给你发了短信可你没有回复Leonard and Penny were arguing... 莱纳德和佩妮在吵架...Not on my watch! 本大爷在此谁敢撒野It's fine. It's just Raj. 没事了是拉杰You can hit him with the bat, but it's fine. 我不介意你拿球棒敲死他但我们没事And if my heart stops, just let me go. 如果我心跳停止了请让我放弃治疗I'm sorry, guys. 抱歉了各位Sheldon was upset, Leonard and Penny were fighting. 谢尔顿在生气莱纳德和佩妮在吵架I just wanted to go someplace where I wasn't causing problems.我只想待在一个不会造成别人问题的地方I'll say it again. 我要再说一次India. 你老家印度Can I just stay in the garage? 能让我住在车库吗Don't do that. We'll make up the couch for you 别这样今晚你先睡沙发吧and figure out something in the morning. 明早起来再想办法Thank you. 谢谢Come on, I'll get you some sheets. 来吧我帮你铺上床单Then we'll see if I can beat my high score 然后再测测我的血压on the blood pressure machine. 是不是冲上新高了Never should've had all these kids so close together. 咱们就不该把这些熊孩子留在身边You okay? 你没事吧I can't sleep. 我睡不着What's wrong? 怎么了Beverly believes 贝弗利觉得I unconsciously consider my old room an escape hatch.我潜意识中把我的旧房间当做一个逃生出口Is that bothering you? 你在为这件事烦恼吗Yes. I don't care for unconscious thoughts. 没错我才不喜欢什么潜意识呢My brain and I are best friends. 人家和大脑是一辈子的好朋友It should tell me everything. 它什么事都会告诉我I mean, how it relates to our relationship, 我是说和我们恋情的关系not the bromance between you and your brain. 不是你和你大脑的兄弟浪漫史What if she's correct? 万一她是对的呢Doesn't that say something troubling about us? 就是说我俩之间有问题吗I don't know. 我不知道I just think you're the kind of person 我只是觉得你是喜欢安排好who likes a contingency plan. 应急计划的人That is true. 这倒是Did you know I figured out 你知道吗in which order I would eat all my friends 我已经想清楚了世界末日来临后in the event of an apocalypse? 我会按什么顺序吃掉所有朋友You need to stop hanging out with your brain so much.你不可以再和你的大脑整天混在一起了It's not a good influence. 它就是个坏朋友If you're looking for spare change, 如果你是想找零钱I already cleaned it out. 我已经扫荡干净了Didn't think this is where my life would be. 没想到我的人生会变成这样Me, either. 我也是I'm in a bedroom and you're on a couch. 我有卧室你睡沙发I'm actually winning. 我居然是赢家You know, we're both down on our luck. 咱俩都正走霉运Maybe you and I should try to get a place together. 也许我俩应该找地方一起住Okay, listen to me. 听我说There is no reason to leave here. 根本没理由离开这里This is great. Everyone's nice. 这里很棒所有人都很友好It's comfortable. 非常舒服If all goes according to plan, this is my retirement home. 如果一切按计划进行这里就是我的养老院了Wouldn't you feel better about yourself 如果你更加独立的话if you were more independent? 不会自我感觉更好一些吗Better than I feel in their steam shower? 比在他们家蒸汽淋浴里的感觉更好吗I don't think so. 我觉得不会Penny would be the entree. 佩妮是主菜Then Leonard's basically a cheese course. 莱纳德算是奶酪盘And because I love you, you're dessert. 因为我爱你所以你是甜点I want to say "Aw," 我也想说"好甜蜜"but I'm gonna say "Ew." 但我要说"好恶心"No, you see, I'm doing this 不我这样做so I can stop being spoiled and, you know, 我就不再是被宠坏的孩子了grow as a person. 成长为一个成年人Good for you. 好样的This sandwich has six dollars worth of ham in it. 这个三明治里有价值6块钱的火腿Don't you even feel a little bad sponging off your friends? 你在朋友家吃白食你一点点内疚感都没有吗Hey, look, I went to art college, 我上过艺术学院I tried to make it as a graphic artist, 我想成为美术设计师a comic book artist, 漫画家and you know what I got for my efforts? 知道我努力得到了什么吗A visible rib cage. 瘦骨嶙峋I'm not kidding. 我没开玩笑You could see my heart beating. 你可以看到我的心跳Well, no offense, but I didn't go to art school. 无意冒犯但我没上过艺术学院I have a PhD in astrophysics. 我有天体物理学的博士学位Oh, great, it'll be easier for you to look up at the stars 很好流落街头时头上没有屋顶without a roof over your head. 你观星更容易Morning. 早Did you know Raj moved out last night? 你知道拉杰昨晚搬出去了吗What? Why? 什么为什么"Leonard and Penny, I'm sorry for all the trouble I've caused. "莱纳德和佩妮抱歉我带来了这么多麻烦I went to stay at Howard's. 我去霍华德家住P.S., Cinnamon's with me, 另外小桂子和我在一起But if you feel like messing with Sheldon, 但如果你们想耍谢尔顿tell him she's loose in the building." 就告诉他小桂子在楼里走丢了"I feel terrible. 感觉好糟糕啊Should we go bring him back? 我们要接他回来吗Well, you're the one worried 是你担心有室友having someone live with us is a sign of problems. 是我们婚姻有问题的表现Oh, that was just because my mother got in my head. 那只是因为我妈让我有了这种想法It's like being possessed, but instead of Satan, it's-- 就好像恶魔上身了但上身的不是恶魔而是...Actually, it's the same thing. 其实没差别啦All right, so we'll ask him to come back. 好的那我们叫他回来Well, great. 很好Don't you want to get dressed first? 你不先换衣服吗Just one second. 稍等Help! Cinnamon's loose in the building! 救命小桂子在楼里走丢了Amy, quick, lock the door! 艾米快锁门We're so sorry if we made you feel uncomfortable. 如果我们让你难受真是抱歉We really weren't fighting about you. 我们吵架真不是因为你I just never want to be a burden on my friends. 我只是不想成为朋友的负担Me, either. Don't want to be a burden. 我也是不想成为负担Hey, is that the baby? I'll go check. 是孩子的声音吗我去看看You are not a burden, 你不是负担and we want you to come back and stay with us. 我们希望你回来一起住But I also upset Sheldon, 但我让谢尔顿不高兴and he's not gonna want to come over if I'm there. 如果我住在那里他不会去你们家的More reasons for you to stay. 这是你更应该来住的原因Halley's fine. 哈雷没事You know she's at my parents' house, right? 你知道她在我父母家呢吧And she's having the time of her life. 她正享受着人生中最美好的时光If you ever want to change things up, 如果你想改变一下you're always welcome here. 我家随时欢迎你Just not in our bedroom, you dumbass. 别来我们卧室就成白痴I appreciate it, but I think 非常感谢但我想staying with Leonard and Penny makes more sense for everyone. 住莱纳德和佩妮家对大家都更有利- Then it's settled. - And just so you know, -就这么定了 -告诉你一声it's only temporary. 这只是暂时的I'm not gonna get too comfortable. 我不会太给方便就随便的Good. 很好Nobody needs a mooch living in their house forever. 谁家都不想要一个吃一辈子白食的Hey, that's no way to talk about your baby. 这样说你家宝宝可不好You know what? I'm proud of us. 知道吗我为我们感到骄傲Yeah, with Penny and Leonard taking in Raj, 佩妮和莱纳德收留了拉杰and Stuart living with Howard and Bernadette, 斯图尔特住在霍华德和伯纳黛特家we're the only couple of our social group 我们是这个小团队中唯一一对who doesn't need to fill the holes 不需要用第三者in their relationship with a third party. 填补关系中大坑的人Yup, we're killin' it. 对我们完胜。

Hey, uh, who's free tonight? 今晚谁有空- Oh, I think I'm... - Hang on. -我应该有... -别急We've made this mistake before. 我们犯过这个错误It's how we wound up at his cousin Deepak's Tupperware party.害自己身陷他亲戚迪帕克的特百惠直销派对Hey, you use that collapsible bowl all the time, 当时会上买的折叠碗你少用了吗and you know it. 你自己心里清楚And it's not like that. 而且这次不是那样I just thought we could, you know, hang out and go to a bar. 我只是想我们可以聚一起去酒吧什么的- Sure. - ??Sounds fun. -行吧 -感觉可以And watch cricket. 然后看板球比赛And watch cricket. 板球是印度最流行的运动之一That sound you hear, ironically, crickets. 现在听到的声音很讽刺的也是蟋蟀[板球] Hey, guys. 大伙们Hey, Bert, how you doing? 伯特你好吗Well, you know, 你懂的we geologists always get a little sad when Rocktober's over. 每当"石"月过了我们地质学家都会有点伤心- Wordplay? - Yes. -文字哏吗 -对Funny wordplay? 好笑的文字哏吗What do you think? 你觉得呢Trust your gut. 相信你的直觉Sheldon, I've got these four-billion-year-old meteorites. 谢尔顿我有一些40亿年前的陨石I thought maybe they'd show signs of neutrino interactions.我觉得或许能找到中微子交互作用的痕迹I could really use someone like you 我真的很需要你这样的人才to help me with the math. 来帮忙计算部分Oh, so they would act as natural dark matter detectors.所以它们能当做是天然的暗物质探测器That sounds interesting. 感觉很有意思It does, but it's still geology. 是啊但始终还是地质学Sorry, Bert, I don't have time to play rocks with you. 抱歉了伯特我没空跟你玩石头I'm not asking you to play rocks. 我不是找你来玩石头I'm asking you to collaborate on a research project. 是来找你合作研究项目Although, if there's time, 不过如果有时间I guess we could play a round of zinc, zinc, piece of quartz. 我们可以玩挖矿桌游"矿藏" Does sound better than cricket. 感觉比看板球有意思多了Thank you for asking. 谢谢你的邀请Unfortunately, I have real science to do. 但很抱歉我有真正的科学工作要做But you feel free to rock on. 祝你石石快乐石来运转That's how you do it. 这才叫玩转文字哏All right. 好吧Sheldon, what are you doing? 谢尔顿你这是干嘛呢Bert's one of the top guys in his field. 伯特好歹也是他领域的顶尖人物And somewhere there's a mime who's top in his field, 世上某处也有个哑剧界一霸呢but you don't see me rushing to collaborate with him 你有看到我冲过去跟他合作演出on new ways to be stuck in a box. 新版的被困在空气盒子里表演吗Also something I would watch instead of cricket. 又一个比板球更吸引我的东西Hello. 你好啊Hey, Sheldon. 谢尔顿I've been thinking about it, 我心里琢磨了一阵子and I suppose I-I could help you with your research. 我想我可以来帮忙你的研究What changed your mind? 是什么让你改变了心意Bert, I'm a gift horse. 伯特当人家送你马Don't look me in the mouth. 检查马牙口是很不礼貌的Sorry. I'm happy you want to help out. 是我不好我很高兴你愿意帮忙If it's easier for you, we could just work at your office. 如果这里不方便我们可以去你办公室No, no, no, not my office, no. 不不不不去我办公室Uh, let's-let's do it here, 就在这里吧in-in the evenings, after everyone's gone home. 晚上再开工等大家都回家后I just have to see if my evenings are free. 那我得看看我晚上有没有空That's a joke. They are. 那是玩笑话我有空Okay. Well, then I will see you tonight. 好的那我们今晚见Well, you know what? 其实呢Close the blinds. We can start right now. 关上百叶窗我们现在就能开工I don't get how you can enjoy cricket. 我真不懂板球哪里有趣了It makes no sense. 毫无逻辑可言Did you just come here to complain? 你来就是为了唧唧歪歪吗Yeah. That's the sport of my people. 对啊那是我们犹太人热衷的运动Ooh, that's Ravichandran Ashwin. He's amazing. 那个人是罗微查得兰·阿湿文他超厉害He makes Hardik Pandya look like Bhuvneshwar Kumar.能把哈迪克·庞德亚变得跟波文尼什瓦·库玛一样Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, save some syllables for the rest of us. 喂喂喂给我们其他人取名时留点字用吧Hey, I think that's Bernadette's friend over there. 那边那个好像是伯纳黛特的朋友Oh, yeah. 是啊Hey, Ruchi! 如琪I-I hope this isn't awkward. 希望不会太尴尬The last time we met, I kind of embarrassed myself. 上次我跟她见面我有点丢人Let's see if you can go two for two. 看看你这次会不会也丢人- Hey, guys. - ?Hey. -你们好啊 -你来啦Hi. ?Are you here by yourself? 你自己一个人来吗Yeah, I couldn't convince anyone to come watch cricket with me. 对啊我说服不了任何人来陪我看Tell me about it. I had to drag this guy. 可不是嘛我也是硬拉他来的You're more than welcome to join us if you'd like. 欢迎你加入我们一起看啊Thanks. 谢谢啊Arre uske taang pay ball kar! 阿力乌丝科当配波卡What'd she say? 她说什么Uske taang pay ball kar. 乌丝科当配波卡Oh, that clears that up. 你一说我就"懂"了Well, no, she's telling the bowler to bowl a yorker. 不是啦她是在叫投球手投脚前球It's the most brutal ball in cricket. 是板球里最凶的一种球I was at the match when Shoaib bowled back-to-back yorkers.我去了巴基斯坦球星肖波连投俩脚前球的比赛Well, I was there, too! What a coincidence! 我也去了呢真是缘分啊Well, there were 120,000 people at that match, so... 当时有12万人去看了比赛所以... Yeah, India, right? Everywhere you go, 印度嘛对吧无论去哪里there's, like, 120,000 people. 都有大概12万人左右So what do you think of our chances at the World Cup? 你觉得我们板球世界杯赢的几率如何Ah, World Cup. 世界杯吗You know, it'll all depend if Kohli's batting in form. 全看科利的打击手感好不好了I know. It doesn't even matter how many all-rounders you have. 对啊无论你队伍里多少全能手都没用Isn't that the truth? 可不是嘛You know, I was the best leg spinner in my high school?你知道我是我高中最厉害的旋球投手吗Yeah, like, I bowled the meanest googly. 我投的曲线球最刁钻了Speaking of googlies, I'm gonna go. 说到曲线球... 我要曲线走人了I've been modeling different types of dark matter 我给不同种的暗物质and the traces they would leave 以及它们会在你的陨石里的on the zircon inside your meteorite. 锆石留下的痕迹都建了模What's this one here? 这个是什么That's actually a dark matter model of my own creation. 是我个人独创的暗物质模型I call it the Cooper boson. 我取名为库珀玻色子Cool. I got to name a rock once. 厉害我也曾有机会给石头命名I named it Moderately Sedimented Shale. 我取名为中等沉积页岩Guess I kind of pooped the bed on that one. 那个名字我可能取得挺屎You know, Bert, I've got to say, 伯特我不得不说this work has been surprisingly engaging. 这研究出乎意料地让我乐在其中Yeah, it's pretty cool. 对啊挺酷的Hello, Amy. 艾米What do you mean, where am I? 什么叫我在哪里I'm in my office. 我在我办公室啊No, I'm at your office and you're not here. 才没有我在你办公室外你不在I thought I'd surprise you with dinner. 我本来想给你惊喜带了晚饭来For future reference, the best surprises 以后请记得最好的惊喜are the ones I know about three days in advance. 是我提前三天就先知情的那种Where are you? 你到底在哪It's a surprise. Doesn't feel so good, does it? 也是个惊喜感觉不好受是吧Well, I have food. 我有吃的I thought we could eat together, 我本来是想找你一起吃but I guess if you have other plans... 但如果你有其他的安排...What?! I'm here! 什么我在这里啊Exactly where I said I was. 就在我跟你说的地点Let's eat. 开吃吧Hello. 你们好啊Hey, buddy, what's up? 你来啦怎么了Um, I need to talk to Penny alone. 我需要跟佩妮单独聊聊What can I do for you? 有何能为您效劳Just a minute, I want to make sure Leonard can't hear us. 稍等一下我得确定莱纳德听不到I've got a box of cupcakes. 我带了一盒小蛋糕Okay, we're good. 没问题了I'm working with Bert, but I don't want anyone to find out. 我跟伯特合作了但我不想别人知道Well, you just told me, so strong start. 你已经泄露给我了好的开始啊Penny, this is serious. 佩妮事关重大My reputation is on the line. 我的名誉悬于一线What are people gonna think when they see us collaborating? 其他人看到我们合作会怎么想啊I don't know. Poor Bert? 不知道呢觉得伯特很可怜吧I am a respected theoretical physicist. 我是一名德高望重的理论物理学家I aspire to win a Nobel Prize someday. 我立志有一天得到诺贝尔奖But nobody's gonna take me seriously 但要是其他人发现我涉足地质学if they find out I've been dabbling in geology. 就不会把我当回事了Well, why not? They're both sciences. 为什么这两种都是科学啊And I know because they're classes 而我会知道是因为my high school counselor said "weren't for me." 我高中的辅导员说这两门课"不适合我" They're very different. 这两者差别极大Physics answers the question: 物理学解答了what is the nature of the universe? 宇宙的本质是什么Geology answers the question: what'd I just trip over? 地质学解答了我刚才是被什么绊倒了All right, well, then don't work with Bert. 好吧那就别跟伯特合作呗- Oh, but I like the work. - Then work with him. -但我喜欢那研究 -那就跟他合作Yeah, but I'm ashamed of the field. 可我觉得那个领域很丢人- Then don't work with him. - Yeah, but we could prove dark matter. -那别合作了 -但我们也许能证明暗物质- Then work with him. - But I just think that people... -那就合作吧 -但我觉得其他人... How many times are you gonna do this? 你还要这样纠结多少遍My record is 14. 我的记录是14遍Okay, this is about science. 这是跟科学有关的事Why'd you come to me? 你为什么来问我Well, because it's also about my reputation. 因为这也跟我的名誉有关And somehow you manage to hold your head high 而你虽然有着错综复杂的过去despite your checkered past. 但现在仍保有谜之自信Checkered past? 错综复杂的过去It's a figure of speech 这是个比喻referring to how sexually promiscuous you were. 形容你以前作风不检点Really? 真的吗Well, I've got a figure of speech about 我也有句话比喻how sexually promiscuous you can go be with yourself. 你可以"去你的"房间跟自己不检点And what is it? 什么话Look, while Bernadette's on bed rest, 在伯纳黛特卧床休息期间we're gonna have to divide and conquer. 我们必须分而治之I've got one monitor for her, one for the baby. 这两个监视器一个监视她一个监视宝宝Which do you want? 你想要哪个I'll take the baby. She's less emasculating. 我选宝宝的吧她没那么欺负人Good morning! 早上好- Scones? - ?Ah, thanks. -吃司康饼吗 -好啊谢谢They're all for you; I already had breakfast at Ruchi's. 这是买给你们的我已经在如琪家吃过早餐了You're kidding. You slept with her? 不会吧你跟她睡了吗Well, there wasn't a lot of sleeping involved. 倒是没有多少时间在睡觉啦I mean, she slept, I stayed awake. 我意思是她睡了我醒着I was afraid of snoring 'cause I didn't have my special pillow. 我怕打呼因为我没带我的特殊防打鼾枕Howard! 霍华德Can you help me to the bathroom?! 过来扶我去洗手间Well, at least the romance is still alive. 至少我们之间浪漫还没死绝So, you and Ruchi? 你和如琪啊Yeah, I'm sorry. I know you liked her, too, 对抱歉我知道你也喜欢她but we just bumped into each other last night and hit it off. 但我们昨晚碰到了聊得擦出火花No, that's fine. 不没关系You're my friend and I'm happy for you. 你是我的朋友我为你高兴Oh, thank you, Stuart. 谢谢你斯图尔特Plus, I don't know how you're gonna screw it up, 再说了虽然我不知道你会怎么搞砸but I know you will. 但我知道你终究会搞砸What's there to screw up? 有什么好搞砸的She just wants to keep things casual. 她只是想随意一点Oh, great, that's how you're gonna screw it up. 太好了这就是你会搞砸的原因Hey, I can be casual. 我也可以很随意啊I should get a haircut; this thing's going south fast. 我得赶紧去理个发这段关系很快就会玩完So Ruchi and I decided to keep things casual. 我和如琪决定让感情随意发展What? What? 怎么了I can handle casual. 我也可以只动鸡不动心Why do you keep doing that with your face? 你为什么一直做出那个嘴Because you keep saying stupid things with yours. 因为你嘴里一直吐出蠢话Okay, fine. 好吧I'm not great at casual relationships, 我的确不擅长随意的恋爱关系and I don't want to scare her off. 但我不想把她吓跑All right, just give her some space, all right? 给她一点空间就行了Don't call, don't text, don't e-mail. 别打电话别发短信别发邮件That's crazy. 那怎么行What if I see a sunset that reminds me of her? 要是我看到夕阳想起她时怎么办All right, when do you see her next? 你们下一次见面是什么时候Uh, we're having dinner tonight. 我们今晚一起吃晚餐Okay, put a rubber band around your wrist, 好在手腕上绑一根皮筋and any time you start planning your wedding 每次你开始策划你们的婚礼or naming your children, 或是给你们的孩子取名时I want you to stab yourself in the hand with a fork. 你就用叉子扎自己的手What's the rubber band for? 那皮筋是用来干嘛的To slow the bleeding. 用来减缓失血Hey, how's Bernadette handling bed rest? 伯纳黛特卧床休息得怎么样了She lies around all day 她整天都躺在床上eating Mallomars and hollering at me, 吃吃巧克力对我大声嚷嚷so her transformation from my wife to my mother is complete.她从我老婆转变为我妈的过程已经完成了Congratulations. I know that's what you were hoping for. 恭喜我知道你就盼着这一天Sheldon, you left your jacket in my office last night. 谢尔顿你昨晚把外套落在我办公室了Uh, oh. No-no, I didn't. 我没有我才没有That's-that's not my jacket. 那外套都不是我的Then why does it say, 那上面怎么写着"Property of S. Cooper. Stop touching it"? "谢·库珀所有物别碰"It sounds like someone named Scooper 听起来某个叫谢库珀的人doesn't want you touching his jacket. 不希望你碰他的外套Are you guys working together on that meteorite project? 你们是在合作研究那个陨石项目吗Yes, fine, you found me out. 是的好吧被你们发现了I'm doing geology. 我现在玩地质学了Just, please, don't tell anyone. 拜托千万别说出去Are you embarrassed of me? 你觉得我很丢人吗Oh, no, no, no, not you. 不不不不是你No, just the work that you've devoted your entire life to. 只是你毕生所投身于的研究事业If you're ashamed to be working with me, 如果你觉得和我合作很丢人then I don't want to work with you. 那我也不想和你合作Sheldon, that was pretty rude. 谢尔顿刚才真的很过分Well, what do you expect? He's a geologist. 他过分不很正常吗毕竟是个地质学家This place seems nice. 这地方挺高级的Uh, but not too nice. 也不算很高级Yelp called it "Good for groups." 点评网说这儿"适合聚会"Would you care to buy the lady a...? 你想为这位女士买...No! Get out of here! 不要走开Sorry about that. 抱歉I just, I hate when someone assumes two people are dating 我很讨厌有人擅自认为别人在交往just because they look like 就因为他们看起来they would make beautiful babies together. 能制造出可爱美丽的宝宝Are you sure you're okay with this? 你确定你能接受这样的关系吗Honestly, Ruchi, I don't have a lot of experience 老实说如琪我在随意的男女关系这方面with casual relationships. 经验不多I have some experience with serious relationships 我在认真的男女关系方面略有经验and a ton of experience with no relationships. 在没有男女关系方面经验超多You're funny. 你真幽默Glad it came off that way. 你这么认为我就放心了Uh, so tell me about your day. 说说你今天过得怎么样How's work going? 工作进行得如何Well, I spent the morning reviewing side effects for our fungal cream,我一早上都在研究那款真菌乳膏的副作用so it was a lot of ooze and pus. 看了很多流脓和分泌物♪ Almost paradise ♪ ♪ 宛如天堂 ♪♪ Almost paradise ♪ Almost paradise - Mike Reno/Ann Wilson♪ We are knocking on heaven's door ♪ ♪ 天堂之门我们触手可及 ♪♪ Almost paradise ♪ ♪ 宛如天堂 ♪And then I had to catalog it 然后我得把它们归类by color, viscosity 按照颜色黏度and percentage of blood. 以及血液百分比Sounds wonderful. 听起来很美妙What you got there? 那是什么A rock. 一块石头Did some mean boys throw it at you? 是某个恶毒的小男孩砸你的吗It turns out I'm the mean boy. 事实证明我就是那个恶毒的小男孩Although I did drop it on my own foot, so kind of. 不过我的确有砸到自己的脚所以你没说错What's going on? 出什么事了What if there was something I wanted to do, 如果我想做一件事but I was worried other people would think less of me? 但又怕别人会看不起我怎么办Is that other person me, and does it happen in the bedroom, 如果别人是指我而你想做的是卧室中的事in which case I think I'm cool with it? 那我觉得放马过来No. 不是It's about working with Bert on... 我是指和伯特一起...You know what? I'm not even gonna say it. 算了我都说不出口I am just gonna say the letter it starts with 我就小小地透露一下这个词的第一个字and "Ology." 和最后一个字"学""G"-- Oh, no, that's not gonna work. "地" 哎呀我都剧透完了Geology? 地质学吗Yes. But we parted ways 没错但我们散伙了because I was worried about my reputation. 因为我担心自己的名誉受损Sheldon, you've never cared what people thought, 谢尔顿你从来都没在意过别人的看法even when you really, really should. 即使在你真的应该在意的时候That dinner with my parents comes to mind. 比如上次和我父母吃饭的时候If I'm not gonna use "Your momma" jokes 如果和你妈见面时when I meet your mother, why'd I bother to learn them? 不能开"你老母"的玩笑那我去学了干嘛I'm just saying, if you think the work is interesting, 我只是想说如果你觉得项目有趣nothing else should matter. 那就不需要考虑其他的事情You're right, Amy. 你说得对艾米That is sage advice. 这真是金玉良言Which is surprising, considering your momma is so dumb, she... 真是神奇毕竟你老母那么笨...Nope. 滚She studied for a urine test. 笨到尿液"检验"都得读书I was supposed to go back to India and get married, 我本来应该回印度结婚的but I realized it wasn't what I wanted. 但我意识到这不是我想要的So I called off the engagement and moved out here. 所以我取消了订婚搬到了这里Well, if he wasn't your soul mate, he wasn't your soul mate. 如果他不是你的灵魂伴侣那他就不是对的人Oh, God, please tell me you're not one of those. 天啊拜托你千万不要是那种人One of whats? 哪种人I want to say teenage girls, but that sounds mean. 我想说少女心的小女孩但好像太毒了Come on, you don't believe that everyone has one perfect match?你不相信每个人都有命中注定的另一半吗Of course not. That's ridiculous. 当然不信了太荒唐了I mean, what if your soul mate lived halfway across the world?万一你的灵魂伴侣住在地球的另一半呢You'd never meet. 那你就永远见不到了Yes, you would. 你当然能见到I can give you, like, 20 examples 我可以给你随便举20个例子where that happened to Kate Hudson alone. 那还只是发生在凯特·哈德森一个人身上的where that happened to Kate Hudson alone. 美国女演员浪漫爱情喜剧专业户You know what? 算了吧People get upset when I talk about this. 每次我说起这个都会惹别人不高兴Let's just change the subject. 我们还是换个话题吧No, no, no. No, it's-it's fine. 不不不没关系Are you saying that you don't believe two people fall in love?所以你不相信两个人会真心相爱吗Of course they do. 他们当然会啊It's just that what people call "Love" 只不过人们所谓的"爱"is actually a series of biochemical reactions 其实是大脑中的一系列化学反应作祟in the brain that fade over time. 会随着时间流逝而消逝Yes. Like the old song, 没错就像那首老歌唱的Yes. Like the old song, 迈克尔·波顿名曲《当男人爱上女人》"When a man has a biochemical reaction for a woman." "当男人化学反应上女人"Raj, we're scientists. 拉杰我们都是科学家We don't need to feel threatened just because we understand 就算我们了解恋爱产生的机制the mechanisms that give rise to romantic feelings. 我们也不需要觉得害怕It doesn't take anything away from the experience. 这对恋爱的体验没有任何的影响Yes, it does. 当然有影响了Actually, it takes everything away from it. 老实说这完全毁掉了恋爱的感觉Love isn't just science. 爱情不仅仅是科学Okay? It's-it's spiritual. 它更是精神上的It's an acknowledgment of a mystery 那是一种令人捉摸不定的that's greater than ourselves. 神秘体验It's what makes people write songs and poems, 是爱让人们吟诗颂曲and what has kept The Bachelor on TV for 21 magical seasons.让《黄金单身汉》真人秀精彩了21季Don't you think the fact that love is given away as a prize你不认为在游戏节目中把爱作为奖品送出去on a game show slightly undermines your argument? 正好削弱了你的观点吗Uh, yes. 没错But I've never missed an episode, 但我一集都没落下and I dare science to explain that. 你能用科学解释这件事吗Bert. 伯特Bert, Bert. 伯特伯特Bert, Bert, Bert. 伯特伯特伯特What do you want, Sheldon? 你想干嘛谢尔顿I would like us to work together again. 我希望咱们能重新一起工作I promise to keep my geology comments to myself, 我保证不再乱发表地质学的言论because while some of them are funny, all of them are mean. 因为这些言论都太过分了虽然有些很好笑Well, this is awkward. 这下就尴尬了Leonard, what are you doing here? 莱纳德你在这里干什么Bert asked for my help. 伯特请我帮个忙Yeah, he's an excellent scientist, 他是一个优秀的科学家and he doesn't tell me what time I can go to the bathroom. 也不规定我上厕所的时间It's called bladder training. 我那是膀胱训练When you're in your 80s, you'll thank me for it. 等你到了80岁你会感谢我的Look, Sheldon, you were a jerk to Bert, 听着谢尔顿你对伯特不好and he walked away from you. 所以他不和你玩了So I feel like there's a lot he could teach me. 我觉得我可以向他好好讨教一番Bert, please. 伯特拜托I know I behaved poorly in the past, 我知道自己之前表现不太好but things will be different this time. 但这次我保证会有所改变You'll see. 你会看到的Come on, let me in. 拜托让我进来吧We'll have some laughs, 我们会一起欢笑we'll calculate some isotope ratios. 一起计算同位素比值I'm sorry, Sheldon. 抱歉谢尔顿So you just shut the door in his face? 你就这样让他吃闭门羹吗I got to start writing this stuff down. 我得开始记录下你的招数了I mean, Ruchi's nice. 虽然如琪是个好人We're just so different. 但我俩太不同了I know. Sometimes when you're dating, 我懂你有时候约会you meet weird people. 都会碰到奇奇怪怪的人I once met a girl who didn't like juggling. 我之前还约过一个不喜欢杂耍的女孩呢And she still doesn't. 她现在依旧不喜欢So you're not gonna see her again? 所以你们不会再见面了吗What's the point? 还有什么意义呢We're never gonna be in a real relationship. 我俩永远不会谈恋爱Right, so you'll only be in a physical one? 所以你俩只能是肉体关系吗Exactly. 没错Why would I want to spend time with someone like that? 我干嘛和那种人耗费时间Someone who is just interested in sex? 那种只对滚床单有兴趣的人吗Yeah. 没错- Raj, do you real... ?- Whoa, hold on. -拉杰你好好... -等一下Give him a chance. He's gonna get this. 给他一点时间他会想通的I don't think he is. 我觉得他不会What is there to get? 有什么可想的She doesn't want to fall in love. 她不想和人坠入爱河At that point, 这样的话all we are is two single people 我们只是两个单身人士who find each other attractive and enjoy having-- 互相看得上眼也喜欢做...Oh, got to go! 我得走了So how was your night with Ruchi? 你和如琪昨晚如何Oh, great. 很好We ordered in some food, we had sex, I left. 我们点了外卖滚了床单然后拍屁股走人I didn't even ask if she enjoyed it. 我甚至不用问她爽不爽I can field that one for her. 这道题我可以替她回答了I mean, I did get a little misty when we said good-bye, 我道别时的确有点小哽咽but I played it off as allergies. 不过我假装自己过敏了I don't know if she bought it. 不知道她相信没Again, I know. 再一次我知道答案Sheldon? 谢尔顿You okay? 你还好吧Sheldon. 谢尔顿。

Previously on The Big Bang Theory... 《生活大爆炸》前情提要My father thinks the reason I can't make a relationship work我父亲觉得我的每段感情之所以不成功is because I'm spoiled. 是因为我是被宠坏的屁孩All right, how much, exactly, does he pay for? 好吧那他到底帮你解决多少账单Okay, I'll tell you, 我会告诉你们but please don't judge me. 但请不要鄙视我He pays for my car, my rent, and my credit cards. 我的车我的房租和信用卡的账单都是他付的I'm trying, but I'm judging. 我在努力忍住但我已经鄙视你了Maybe your dad's right. 或许你爸说得对Yeah, women do like a man that can support himself. 对啊女人的确喜欢能养活自己的男人I have come to an important decision. 我做出了重要决定I will not be accepting your money anymore. 我不会再拿你的钱That's wonderful. 太好了Yes, that is wonderful. 是的非常好You will no longer be able to accuse me of being spoiled. 你不能再指责我被宠坏了I'm so proud of you. 我真为你骄傲Dad, I'm trying to tell you off, 爸我是想臭骂你一顿and you're ruining it with your delight and relief. 你的欣喜与宽慰毁了我的计划and you're ruining it with your delight and relief. 时至今日Interesting. 有意思Okay. 好的How bad is it? 多糟糕Let me put it this way-- 我这么说吧do you own a barrel and suspenders? 你有三尺白绫跟板凳吗Are you serious? 你是说认真的吗I'm not wearing this visor to play women's golf. 我戴这个遮光帽可不是为了打女子高尔夫会计审计员等都会戴来遮挡早期白炽灯光线绿色遮光帽是19世纪晚期到20世纪中期Oh, let me guess. 我猜猜You guys are drafting your fantasy accounting firms. 你们在玩梦幻会计公司根据每周他们的比赛结果来决定谁选出最佳队伍最常见的是梦幻足球参赛者从不同队伍选出球员We're helping Raj figure out his finances. 我们在帮忙拉杰整理财务状况Well, he has a job. How bad can it be? 他有工作收入情况能有多差Well, his rent and car lease are exceedingly high. 他的房租与汽车租贷费用极其高You couple that with his penchant for dining out and shopping...再加上他喜欢上馆子吃饭与购物Wait, wait, not shopping for clothes, right? 等等购物不是指买衣服对吧Because look. 看他这打扮...He also has a remarkable amount of credit card debt. 而且他的信用卡债务数额惊人I thought your dad paid your cards. 不是你爹帮你付的信用卡账单吗I have a card for emergencies that I pay for myself. 我有一张自己付款的紧急备用卡What emergency happened at the L.A. Zoo? 在洛城动物园发生了什么紧急事故That's a penguin I sponsor. 我认养了一只企鹅They're losing their homes to global warming, 它们因为全球暖化而失去了家园and my car gets, like, seven miles a gallon, 而我的车每三公里耗一升油so I felt bad. 我挺过意不去What is Pink Cheeks? 这粉嫩双颊[屁股]是啥It's intimate waxing. Quit looking at that! 是私密处除毛那张不许看Maybe you should find someone 或许你该找个人to help you get your finances under control. 来帮忙让你财务状况回到正轨Like a business manager? 比如理财经理吗No, absolutely not. 不当然不行You can't afford to hire someone 你请不起一名who'll forbid you from spending your money on foolish expenses.会禁止你花钱在白痴开销上的人That is a foolish expense, and I forbid it. 因为那也是白痴开销而我禁止你这么做What if there's someone who just likes controlling 那如果有一个单纯只是喜欢控制别人other people and stealing joy from their lives? 而且乐于将别人生活中的欢乐偷走的人呢He sounds like a sociopath. 他听起来像个反社会变态啊We don't know, his mother never had him tested. 我们也不确定他妈妈没带他去检查过这个You're talking about me. Very funny. 你们说的是我真好笑Although I would enjoy drawing up a budget 虽然我的确是会享受安排好预算and forcing Raj to adhere to it 然后逼拉杰坚持计划without an ounce of compassion. 而且丝毫不带任何同情心Wait, wait, who's gonna break it to the penguin? 等等那谁去跟企鹅说金援要断了Okay, Sheldon. 行啊谢尔顿Yeah, I'm putting you in charge of my finances. 我的财务就交给你管吧I will not spend another penny that you don't authorize.我再也不会花任何一分未经你批准的钱Very well. 非常好Hey, Comic-Con tickets go on sale this Friday. 漫展的票这周五开卖You can't buy one. 你不许买Oh, better luck next time, Pink Cheeks. 祝你下次好运啦粉嫩双颊You're actually going to Comic-Con? 你真的要去漫展吗Well, Leonard wants me to do more stuff like that with him,莱纳德希望我多陪他做这方面的事so I thought maybe this year I'd tag along. 我就想要不今年陪他去Well, that's sweet. I bet you'll have fun. 真好我猜你一定会玩得很开心So, do you want to come? 那你要一起来吗No, thanks. 谢邀不用了I already live in a place all the nerds come to. 我已经住在一个所有阿宅都会来的家了Please? I went to your boring thing last month. 求你啦我上个月也陪你参加无聊活动了啊My aunt's funeral? 你是说我阿姨的葬礼吗Come on, even you checked your e-mail during the eulogy. 干嘛啊你自己也在听悼词时看邮箱了Well, I'm not going, 我才不要去but I do think it's nice you want to. 但我觉得你想去挺好的It's not that I want to go, 不是我想去好吗I just think it'll make Leonard happy. 我只是想哄莱纳德高兴And if I have to watch him squeeze into an Ewok costume, 如果哄他就得看他挤进伊渥克服And if I have to watch him squeeze into an Ewok costume, 电影《星球大战》中的角色so be it. 那我也忍了Look at you, going to Comic-Con, 看看你要去漫展talking about Ewoks. 还聊起了伊渥克族I really have become the cool one around here. 我真变成了我们这群里最酷的那个人了You actually think Penny will have fun at Comic-Con? 你真认为佩妮会在漫展玩得开心吗No. Which will make me miserable, 不觉得所以这会让我很郁闷which is usually Sheldon's job. 而通常让我郁闷是谢尔顿的专利She's gonna hate waiting in line for the panels. 她一定会很不爽排队等明星座谈会She's gonna hate all the crowds at the panels. 她一定会很不爽去听座谈会的阿宅She's gonna hate the panels. 她一定会很不爽那些座谈会She's gonna hate how often we say the word "Panels."她一定会很不爽我们说"座谈会"这词的频率Why don't you just tell her not to come? 那你干嘛不叫她别来了Well, she's so excited, I can't do that to her. 她感觉超有兴致我不想这么狠心What if you make it sound so bad 那你何不把漫展说得一文不值she won't want to go? 她就自己不会想去啦That I would do to her. 那我倒是可以狠心试试I can't believe Penny's gonna get to go, 真不敢相信佩妮都去了and I'm not. 而我却不能去You can always watch the panels online. 反正你可以在网上看明星座谈会嘛Oh, boy, we do say that a lot. 天啊我们还真是总说"座谈会"Panels. 座谈会Just wanted to be included. 我就想加入一下大家Come on, Sheldon, it's Comic-Con. 求你了谢尔顿这可是漫展Just let me have the money for this, 让我花钱去参加吧and I won't ask for anything else. 我保证不会乱花钱干别的You put me in charge of your finances. 是你让我来管着你的账If you wanted someone weak and spineless you could walk all over, 如果你想要心软没骨气让你颐指气使的人you should have asked Leonard. 你当初就该去找莱纳德来管See? Miserable. 你看郁闷吧Okay, you're right, I got myself into this, 行你说得没错是我自作自受but I've never missed a Comic-Con with you guys. 但每年都是我们四个一起去参加漫展的啊Your father may have spoiled you, but I won't. 你老爸愿意宠溺你但我可以不会If you want a ticket to Comic-Con, 如果你想要去动漫展的票I suggest you figure out a way to earn the money yourself. 那我建议你想办法去挣点外快Yeah, you're a grown man who's highly educated. 你是个受过高度教育的成人You could charge people money to punch you. 你可以收钱当人肉沙包啊Go ahead, make jokes. I don't know why you think 随你嘲讽我不知道你哪来的自信you're going to Comic-Con-- you just had a baby. 觉得自己就去得成漫展你家小孩刚出生- So? - Well, so? -所以呢 -还所以呢So you think Bernadette's just gonna let you 所以你觉得伯纳黛特会轻松答应jet down to San Diego for five days 让你飞去圣地亚哥五天and leave her alone? 然后把她孤零零丢在家吗Hang-hang on. 稍等一下So I have to bring Penny, you can't afford it, 所以我得带着佩妮而你付不起票Howard's gonna get in trouble, 霍华德去就死定了and this guy gets to have a great time. 唯独这家伙可以好好享受漫展I'm gonna go as Dumbledore. 我要打扮成邓布利多去I'm gonna go as Dumbledore. 《哈利波特》中知名角色How's my favorite girl? 我亲爱的小美人好吗Okay. 还可以啊- What you doing? - Making lasagna. -你在干嘛呢 -做千层面Oh, she's sexy, she can cook. 这妞出得了厅堂又入得了厨房I'm such a lucky guy. 我真是走了大运You want something stupid, or you did something stupid? 你想买傻逼东西了还是你做傻逼事了No. I just walked in here, saw how beautiful you are 才不是我只是走进来看到闭月羞花的你and had to tell you. 情不自禁就想说出口Oh, dear God, you're cheating on me with Raj. 天啊你是不是背着我跟拉杰搞基了Never gets old. 这笑话真是永不过时Okay, there is something I want, 好啦我的确想要个东西but it's not a big deal. 不过不是什么大事What is it? 什么东西Well, Comic-Con tickets go on sale this Friday, 漫展的票这周五开卖and I was hoping I could go with the guys. 我希望能跟其他几个一起去But before you say anything, I'll make up for being gone 但在你回答之前我会对我的离开做出补偿by doing everything around here-- I mean everything. 家里一切活我全包做什么都行I'm even gonna answer for you. 连帮你回答这个问题都行"Yes, Howard, you can go." "准了霍华德准你去"It's so hard to say no to you. 拒绝你真是太难了Thank you. 谢谢你So I'll say maybe. 所以或许吧What? Why? 什么为什么You said tickets don't go on sale till Friday, right? 你自己说票周五才开卖对吧Yeah. 对啊You said you were gonna do all this stuff for me, right? 你也说家里一切活你全包对吧Yeah. 对啊See where I'm going with this? 听出我接下来要说什么了吗Yeah. 听出来了If you don't know how to make lasagna, Google does. 如果你不知道怎么做千层面就去问谷歌Okay, so this is the main Comic-Con floor. 好的所以这是动漫展主层It's where all the vendors and exhibits are. 所有的小贩和展览都在这里Wow, that is a lot of people jammed in there. 好多人挤在这里面啊I know. Sometimes Howard wears a striped shirt 有时候霍华德会穿条纹衫so we can play "Where's Wolowitz?" 这样我们就能玩"霍华德在哪里"找出身穿红白条纹衫与绒球帽的男主人翁知名游戏童书《威利在哪里》就是在人海中Okay, now, th-this is us camping out in line 这是我们餐风露宿排队for the Avengers panel. 等去看《复仇者联盟》座谈会Oh, you really sleep on the sidewalk, huh? 你们还真睡在人行道上呢Yeah. It can get chilly, 对啊入夜有时挺冷but Raj figured out that if you pee in a bottle 但拉杰想出如果我们尿在瓶子里and put it in your sleeping bag, 然后放进睡袋中it helps keep you warm. 能有类似热水袋的作用Here's the hotel room we all share. 这是我们一起住的酒店房间Well, you and I would get our own room, right? 到时候我们会单独订一房间的吧Every hotel is booked. 所有酒店都订满了But, yeah, see this space here 不过你看这一块between Sheldon's feet and my head? 就是我脑袋跟谢尔顿脚底之间的空间That's where you go. 到时候你就睡这Well, it's no different than when Sheldon 这跟以前打雷的时候谢尔顿used to climb in bed with us during a thunderstorm. 爬上我们床来跟我们挤没什么两样Don't worry, we won't be doing much sleeping anyway. 不用担心反正到时候也不太会睡觉It's like an all-night party. 那里就像个彻夜狂欢派对There's trivia contests and Dungeons & Dragons. 有冷知识竞赛与《龙与地下城》桌游As we like to say, it's "Off the chain mail." 按我们的话说就是"乐子[锁子甲]超多"I even said "Off the chain mail," 我甚至说了"乐子[锁子甲]超多"and she still wants to go. 她还是没打退堂鼓That's probably my fault. 或许这事赖我She may have heard about my cool Dumbledore costume.可能她耳闻了我的超屌邓布利多变装Okay, I can give you 20 bucks for the whole box. 行吧整盒算你20块But you charged me hundreds for this stuff. 这些东西你以前要我几百块呢I know. And I did it with a straight face. 对啊而且我都不带眨眼的But I need to earn enough money 但我需要挣够足够的钱so I can go to Comic-Con. 我才能去漫展Well... all right. 好吧I'll give you 25 bucks. 我给你25块That's my best offer. 我最高就出这么多I have no choice. 我也别无选择了You know, if you want to make extra money, 如果你想挣外快I-I could throw some work your way. 我可以给你点活儿啊Really? I'll do anything. 真的吗我什么活儿都愿意做Great, you're hired. 很好你被录用了First thing you can do is put price tags on these. 先从把这些东西贴上价钱开始Start the little ones at $50. 小的那些先贴50块You know, it's no big deal. 也没什么I can put up with anything for three days. 反正三天而已我什么都能忍得住Comic-Con's five days. 漫展是五天Are you kidding me? 你耍我吧Why don't you just tell him you don't want to go? 你为什么不告诉他你不想去I can't, it'll break his heart. 不行我不想伤他的心You know, he's always making an effort 他总是很努力尝试做那些to do things with me he doesn't enjoy, 他不喜欢的事来陪我like going outside. 比如出门He is an indoor cat. 他的确是室内猫类型You know, maybe it won't be that bad. 或许没想象中那么糟啊Leonard says it's really mainstream now. 莱纳德说现在宅文化已经是主流文化Comic books aren't just for sad nerds anymore. 漫画不只是给可悲的阿宅看的了I mean, it is still a key part of their demographic. 显然可悲的阿宅在他们族群仍占多数Howie, can you get that? 华仔你能开下门吗Kind of busy. 我在忙Busy like I'll be with the baby 有你去圣地亚哥玩耍if you go to San Diego? 而我在家苦逼带孩子时那么忙吗What's with the gloves? 这手套是怎么回事They complete my ensemble. What do you want? 跟我这身衣服配套的有何贵干I'm looking to make extra money 我想挣点外快and was wondering if you had any chores I could do. 来看看你有没有什么杂活给我干Hang on. 稍等Bernie, can I outsource my chores to an Indian guy? 妮妮我可以把我的家务活外包给一个印度人吗No. 不行I tried. 我尽力了Hey, I was thinking, 我在考虑if you want to do a couples costume, 如果你想穿情侣装we could paint ourselves green and be Hulk and She-Hulk. 我们可以把自己刷成绿色扮成绿巨人和女绿巨人Or we could paint ourselves blue 又或者我们可以把自己刷成蓝色and go as Nightcrawler and Mystique. 扮成夜行者和变形女Is there any scenario where we're not in full body paint? 有没有不用全身刷漆的方案Yeah, if you want us to look like losers. 有啊如果你想我们看起来逊爆了的话Hey, um, are you sure the guys are okay with me coming?你确定其他三人不介意我也一起去吗Yeah, of course, why? 当然啦为什么这么问This is just something you usually do together, 就是通常都是你们四个一起去and if I'm screwing it up, I don't have to go. 如果我去会破坏气氛我也不是非得去Oh, why? Do you not want to go? 怎么了你不想去吗Why? Do you not want me to go? 怎么了你不想我去吗No, I want you to go. 不我当然想你去Okay, good, 'cause that's what I want, too. 那就好因为我也想去Now we're going as Hulk and She-Hulk. 现在我们得以绿巨人和女绿巨人的装扮出现I don't want to take my shirt off at Comic-Con. 我不想在漫展上脱掉上衣啊If I may speak for Comic-Con, we don't want that either. 如果我能代漫展发言我会说我们也不希望这事发生Is that nice? 需要这么毒吗No, but it's honest, and it sounds like you could use 不用但至少诚实啊而且感觉起来a little more honesty in your relationship. 你们的感情也需要多一点真诚Uh, I-it's more complicated than that. 实际情况远比嘴上说来得复杂I'm always honest with Amy. 我一直诚实对待艾米The other day she said she was self-conscious 有一天她说觉得难为情about the beauty mark on her shoulder, 因为肩膀上有颗美人印and I said, "You know, you can call that a beauty mark all you want. 而我说"随你美化你那个美人印When there's hair growing out of it, that's a mole." 但当它上面长了根毛那它就是个痣" Do you think she's as honest with you? 你觉得她也对你如此诚实吗I should hope so. 我希望是如此When she called me an insensitive jerk, 当她称我为没心没肺的混蛋时I'd like to think she meant it. 我会希望她是真心的There's got to be other ways you can make a quick buck. 肯定有其他让你挣外快的法子Yeah, you'd think. 哪这么容易找Ooh, maybe I could sell my blood and sperm. 或许我可以去卖血卖精子I really should wear a bell around my neck 我真应该在脖子上系个铃铛so you guys can hear me coming. 这样我一来你们就能听见Here, let me help you. 来我帮你吧Thank you. 谢谢Oh, Double Stuf Oreos, 双层夹心奥利奥I remember when I could afford you. 我还记得当初我吃得起的日子There she goes. 哈雷又哭了Stay, I'll get her. 你待着我去吧- Appreciate it. - That's fine. -非常感谢 -不客气She and I can cry together. 我可以和她一起抱头痛哭He's such a sweetie. 他真是个好人I know, I wish there was some way we could help him. 我知道真希望我们能有办法帮他If he could find a girl with a good job, 如果他可以找到一个薪水高的女朋友all his problems would be over. 那他所有的问题将迎刃而解Yeah, that's working out great for me. 是啊看我现在过得多"好"Penny says they're ready to go. 佩妮说他们准备好出发了Very well. 很好Prepare for a long night of deceit. 准备迎接漫长的欺骗夜吧Sheldon, women can wear makeup, it's not lying. 谢尔顿女人可以化妆那不叫欺骗I was talking about Leonard. 我刚说的是莱纳德And if makeup is so truthful, 而且如果化妆品这么诚我不欺why is it called "Concealer"? 那为什么有化妆品叫"遮瑕膏"[隐瞒者]Wait, wait, wait, what's Leonard lying about? 等等莱纳德欺骗什么了He doesn't really want Penny to go to Comic-Con. 他其实不想佩妮去漫展He's just doing it to make her happy. 他是为了让她开心才带她去Really? 真的吗Because she doesn't actually want to go. 因为佩妮其实并不想去漫展She's just doing it to make him happy. 她是为了让他开心才跟他去So they're both trying to make each other happy, 所以他们俩的本意是想让对方开心and the end result is they make each other sad? 而结果却是让彼此恶心吗That's hilarious. 真是太可笑了I can't wait to tell them. 我等不及要告诉他们了No, you're not gonna tell them anything. 不你不能拆穿他们You're gonna stay out of it. 你不许插手这件事Why? 为什么Because it's between them. 因为这是他们之间的事Well, if you haven't noticed, 你难道没注意到吗I've been between them for the last ten years. 过去十年里我一直生活在他们之间Hey, babe, you want to drive? 宝贝你想开车吗Sure, or you can. 当然不过你开也行No, it's fine, I know you don't like the way I drive. 没关系我知道你不喜欢我开车的方式I don't have a problem with your driving. 我对你开车技术没有意见啊Are you listening to this? 你听见他们的鬼话了吗They deceive each other about everything. 他们在所有事情上都欺骗对方Just so you know, that guy in the parking lot hit me. 我告诉你是停车场那家伙撞我He wasn't in a car, but okay. 他当时都不在车上好吗不过行吧Just say you want to drive. 你直说你想开不得了I honestly don't. 我真的不想开Amy, do us a favor, please drive. 艾米帮个忙你开车吧Sure, happy to. 好乐意效劳If you want to drive, just drive. 如果你想开车那就开啊I don't see why this has to be so complicated. 我不懂为什么要搞得这么复杂It's not complicated. Amy's driving, that's it! 一点都不复杂艾米开车就这样That's not it because you're clearly upset. 才不是谁都看得出你不高兴You're the one who seems upset. 你才是看上去不高兴的那个Why would I be upset? 我为什么要不高兴Because you don't want her to go to Comic-Con! 因为你不想她去参加漫展This is an interesting way to stay out of it. 这种"不插手"的方式真是相当有意思啊Wait, you don't want me to go? 慢着你不想我去吗Well, I just don't think you're gonna have a good time. 我只是觉得你不会觉得好玩Yeah, well, get this: 是啊听好了neither does Penny, 佩妮也是这么想的that's why she doesn't want to go. 所以她并不想去You set 'em up, I knock 'em down, good job. 你下套我下刀合作无间Why would you say you wanted to go if you didn't? 如果你不想去为什么你不直说I just thought it would make you happy. 我本以为跟着去会让你开心O-O-O-Okay, hold on, so if you don't want to go 好吧等等如果你不想跟去and I don't need to bring you, 而我也不必带你去is everything good? 我们还是恩爱好夫妻吧Hold on, I'm trying to decide if I'm mad at you. 等等我先决定我是不是在生你气No, I'm happy I don't have to go. 不会不用去我很开心All right, problem solved. 好啦问题解决- Okay. - Yeah. -没错 -对Not entirely, the fight over who's going to drive is still... 还没完呢刚才不是还在吵谁开车吗Oh, my God, stop talking! 天啊快把嘴闭上The place looks great. 家里看着好干净啊Did you guys get a maid? 你们请佣人了吗Kind of. 算是吧Dinner's almost ready. 晚餐快好了If you like meatloaf, I'm sure you'll like its cousin, 如果你们喜欢烘肉卷那肯定会喜欢它的表亲bowl of meat. 大碗肉Hey, if you're still looking to make money, 如果你还想着挣外快I will pay you to burn that jacket. 我愿意付钱让你把外套烧了Thank you, but it doesn't look like 谢谢但看来今年I'm going to Comic-Con this year. 我是无缘漫展了Well, with as much debt as you have, 你有这么多债务在身probably not next year either. 明年应该也不能去- Howie? - Sure. -华仔 -好的This is for you. 这是给你的What's this? 这是什么It's back pay for all the babysitting 补发工资之前你给我们当保姆and taking care of Halley you've done. 还有照顾哈雷的酬劳There's more than enough in there to cover Comic-Con.里面的钱就算你去参加漫展还绰绰有余Um, I also take care of Halley. 我也帮忙照顾哈雷了啊And you live here for free. 你也在这里白住了啊I do, ma'am, thank you, ma'am. 的确如此夫人多谢收留夫人This is so generous of you, 你们真是太慷慨了I-I, um, I don't know what to say. 我...我都不知道该说什么了Now you can come with us. 现在你可以跟我们一起去了Yeah, there's room in the bed by Sheldon's feet. 对啊谢尔顿脚边还有地方睡哦As much as I appreciate this, 尽管我很感激你们给我这笔钱I can't accept it. 可我不能收Okay? 好吗Halley's my goddaughter, 哈雷是我的教女I don't take care of her for money. 我照顾她是应该的不是为了钱I would. 我是Keep it. Consider it a gift. 留着吧就当是我们送你的礼物Hold on. Is it back pay or is it a gift? 等等这到底是补发工资还是礼物What's the difference? 有什么区别吗When the IRS questions us in separate rooms, 当我们被关在不同房间被国税局审问时we need to have our stories straight. 我们的答案必须一致啊It doesn't matter. I'm not keeping this. 无所谓啦反正我不会收下I'm trying to pay my own way and be responsible. 我正努力自食其力做一个有担当的人Taking handouts won't help that. 拿别人给的钱可不行So you're not going to Comic-Con? 所以你不去参加漫展了吗I've been plenty of times. 反正我去过很多次了If I miss one, it's fine. I'm a big boy. 少去一次也没关系我是个成年人了I'm a big boy, and if I missed one, 我也是成年人但如果我少去了一次I'd throw a big-boy tantrum. 我就会发成年人的脾气You know what? I've gone 12 times. 其实我都去了12次了Maybe I'll sit out this year, too. 要不今年我也不参加了吧- Really? - Yeah. -真的吗 -真的Maybe you and I can do something fun that weekend. 或许我们那周末可以找点好玩的事情干Ooh, how about white-water rafting? 一起去漂流怎么样Oh... how about we compromise 不如我们折中一下and go on the Small World ride at Disneyland? 去迪士尼玩小小世界之旅和活动布景组成的全球七大洲乘坐小船游览由身穿各地民族服饰的木偶You know what, I'm not gonna go either. 要不我也不去了I'm a father now. 我现在身为人父I'd rather spend time with my family. 我更愿意跟家人待在一起You just don't want to go alone with Sheldon. 你只是不想跟谢尔顿两人一起去I'm gonna go check on dinner. 我去看看晚餐好了没Sounds like everyone's staying home. 听起来大家都不去了What do you say? 那你怎么说Nuts to that, I'm going to Comic-Con! 谁不去谁傻逼反正我是要去By yourself? 就你自己去吗Not necessarily. 不一定啊I have four months to find some new friends. 我还有四个月的时间找新朋友陪我去I'll go with you. 我陪你去That's very kind of you, Stuart. 你人真好斯图尔特Check back in with me in July. 等七月的时候你再问我一次There's my pretty girlfriend. 瞧瞧我的漂亮女友I'm not going with you to Comic-Con. 我是不会跟你去漫展的What? Can't a man just be happy to see his woman 干嘛难道就不能因为见到自己女人很开心and pat her on her second most erogenous 然后就拍拍她第二性感的部位ball-and-socket joint? 球窝关节吗He can, but it's still not changing my mind. 能啊但我还是不会改变主意Well, maybe what's in my pants will change your mind. 或许我裤裆里的东西能让你改变主意It's a list of this year's panelists. 这是今年明星座谈会的嘉宾名单It's long, isn't it? 很长对不对。

It feels like it wasn't that long ago 感觉没多久之前we were here doing this for Halley. 我们才来这里为哈雷做产检啊'Cause it wasn't. 因为真的没多久Which reminds me, before we leave, 感谢你提醒我在我们走之前let's get you a vasectomy. 先把你给结扎了Oh, that's sweet, but today is all about you. 真有心但今天你才是主角So, you two ready to find out the sex of this baby? 你们俩准备好知道孩子的性别了吗- Yeah. - Absolutely. -是的 -当然Is Halley hoping for a little brother or a little sister? 哈雷是想要个弟弟还是妹妹呢Well, she's nine months old, 她才九个月大so unless it jingles or is in my bra, she doesn't care. 她只对有音乐或在我胸罩里的东西感兴趣And how about you two? 那你们俩心里呢You know, for the first one, we really wanted a girl, 生第一个时我们很想要个女孩but this time around, we don't have a preference. 但这一次来说我们都可以啦Yeah. Boy, girl, as long as it's healthy. 是啊男孩女孩只要健康就好Well, it's a boy. 是个男孩Come on, you can't really be disappointed. 不是吧你们不是真的失望吧Hey, I barely know how to be a man myself. 我自己都当不好一个男人了Now I have to teach someone? 现在还得教别人吗As the saying goes, those who can't do, teach? 常言道"没能力的就去教人"Don't you want a little version of Howard? 你不想要个孩子版的霍华德吗I already have a little version of Howard. 我已经有个孩子版的霍华德了Now I'm having a son? 我现在要有儿子了I'll have to teach him how to play sports, 我得教他各种体育运动and-and watch sports 还得带他看体育比赛and-and-and-and-and-and... 然后... 然后... 然后...He just ran out of man things. He's in trouble. 他想不出还有什么爷们的事了碰到了困难It's okay. We're all here to help. 没事啊我们都会帮忙你Yes. And this baby will have plenty of manly role models. 对啊这孩子会有许多很爷们的榜样Now, I'm certain that whatever Bernadette can't teach him, 我很确定伯纳黛特教不了他的东西Penny can. 佩妮能教Uh, she can pee into a bottle. 她尿得进瓶子里呢Anything with a neck wider than a nickel. 只要瓶口大过硬币就行Howie, there's a lot of amazing things you can teach a son. 华仔你有很多能教我们孩子的事情啊Yeah. You do always know how to pick just the right antacid. 对啊比如你总是能选出最合适的抑酸剂I don't know if I can teach that. 我不知道这个能否传承It's just something I was born with. 这是我与生俱来的天赋Come on. You can build things. 打起精神来嘛你还会造东西啊You were an astronaut. 你还曾是个宇航员That's true. 这倒是You know, as a kid, I used to make model rockets. 我小时候就曾经搭过火箭模型That'd be pretty cool to do with a son. 估计跟儿子一起搭还挺不错Model rockets. Finally, something interesting. 火箭模型终于聊到点有意思的了What is your preferred mode of recovery? 你倾向用何种方式回收火箭呢Sheldon, we're helping our friends. 谢尔顿现在是在帮忙我们的朋友And we got to model rockets, yeah? 然后聊到了火箭模型不是吗It was a tedious road, but well worth the effort. 虽然路程索然无味但皇天不负有心人- So, have you thought of any names? - Amy. -你们帮他想好名字了吗 -艾米We finally got to model rockets. 我们终于聊到了火箭模型Why are you turning back? 你干嘛把话题又转回去Hey, where are you going? 你要去哪里Back to the dry cleaner. Look at this. 回去干洗店你看这个They didn't get the stain out of my Starfleet uniform. 他们没把我星际舰队的制服洗干净星际联邦的正规军队及外太空探索部队影集《星际迷航》中Well, if you didn't make me wear the green body paint in bed,要不是你整天让我涂绿漆再穿它跟你上床you wouldn't have to get it dry-cleaned so much. 你也不用常常拿去让人干洗了Nah, it's worth it. 没事值得Hey, wait, it's your mom. 等等是你妈妈打来Oh, too bad. She just missed me! 太遗憾她错过我了Hey, Beverly. 你好啊贝弗利Oh, hello, Penny. 你好啊佩妮Uh, Leonard just left. 莱纳德刚走He's gonna be so upset he mssed your call. 他要知道错过了你电话一定会很难过Why? 为什么会Because he... 因为他...Yeah, I don't know. 我也不知道How are you? 你最近好吗Did you mean personally or professionally? 你是指个人方面还是工作上Um, personally? 个人方面Like, what'd you do last night? 比如你昨晚干嘛了I had Cuban food at the home of a man 我去了一个男人家中吃了古巴菜with whom I shared unsatisfying intercourse. 然而与他的性爱并不太让人满足Wow. Okay. 好吧And to anticipate your next questions, 根据我掐指一算你的下一个问题roasted pork and sideways missionary. 答案是烤猪肉与侧身传教士式Sure. Sure. 'Cause you were full. 当然不意外毕竟你们吃很饱I haven't looked at all this stuff in years. 我多少年没看过这些东西了Had it. 有过Had it. 我也有Burnt down my garage with it. 我家车库烧了全靠它I had three model rockets as a kid, 我小时候有过三个火箭模型and that was the largest space program in India. 那是印度最大的三个太空计划了You have a replica Saturn V? 你居然有土星五号火箭的模型吗Yeah. My dad bought it before he, you know, 对啊我爸在他... 你懂的abandoned our family. 抛妻弃子前买给我的Lucky duck. 你可真幸福Could never bring myself to open it without him. 一直不想在没有他的情况下拆开It's silly. 真傻No, it's not silly. 一点都不傻啊I always wanted my dad to build rockets with me, 我也一直想要我爸爸跟我一起做火箭模型but he wasn't interested. 可是他没兴趣Ah, yes, disappointing fathers. 是啊令人失望的父亲们Tell me about it. 可不是咋的I remember for my 16th birthday, my dad bought me a Mercedes. 我还记得我16岁生日我爸给我买了奔驰Like, a little one, like a starter Mercedes. 那种小台入门款的奔驰而已He had barely handed me the keys 他前脚刚把车钥匙给我before he had to rush back to work. 后脚就得赶去上班I didn't see him again till, like, 我就再也没见过他...pretty late that night. 一直到那天深夜他才回来Anyway... 言归正传...as angry as I was with him leaving, 虽然我对他的离去还有怨气building this stuff is probably what led me 但我大概就是因为搭过这些模型to become an engineer. 才去当了工程师I suppose, in his own way, 我想我爸爸也是my dad also encouraged me to pursue science. 用了他自己的方法鼓励我追求科学I mean, he is the one that taught me 比如就是他教了我that flatulence is combustible. 原来屁是可燃的And also, polyester gym shorts don't burn. 还有涤纶运动短裤不会烧起来They melt. 而是会融化Yeah, I guess I'm an astrophysicist because, 是啊我想我会成为天体物理学家as a kid, I said I like to look at the stars, 也是因为小时候我说我想看星星so my dad sent me to Hawaii to visit the Keck telescope. 所以我爸送我去夏威夷看凯克望远镜是世界上口径第二大的光学/近红外线望远镜夏威夷凯克天文台的凯克望远镜Screw you. My pain is real. 去你们的哥的苦你们不懂You know what? Forget the past. 其实呢忘了那些往事吧What do you say you and me build this rocket? 我们俩一起来搭这个火箭模型如何That sounds like it could be a real bonding experience for us.感觉可以是一次我们俩真正交心的机会Right? 对吧Oh, I see. 我懂了Oh, you think that's a positive. 你觉得这是一件好事So, you don't want to hang out with Sheldon and Howard?所以你不想跟谢尔顿与霍华德玩了吗No, they were bonding over their sad childhoods, 他们因为可怜的童年而聊得来and my stupid parents were always there for me. 而我的臭爸妈却从小在我身旁支持我What's all this? 这些是什么I'm just boxing up all the clothes Halley's outgrown. 我在把哈雷穿不下的衣服装箱收起来Guess we won't need them anymore. 以后估计是用不到了Oh, well, slow down. 别着急I'm sure there's some you could reuse for a boy. 里面有一部分男孩也能穿的吧Daddy's little girl? 爸爸的小女孩吗Okay, well, what if we, uh, change it to say, 好吧但如果我们把他改成...Daddy's little girl magnet? 爸爸的小女孩杀手Boom! Boy shirt. 你看小帅哥就能穿啦What about this? 这件呢Uh, okay. 好吧Uh, pull off the skirt, slap a lightning bolt on the front, 把裙子部分去掉在前胸加个闪电的符号and you got baby Flash. 就成了闪电侠宝宝Stick a long sleeve under it. 在底下加长袖Boom! Baby Sheldon. 你看就成了谢尔顿宝宝Wow, you're really good at this. 你很在行嘛Oh, please. 拜托This isn't my first time turning girl clothes into boy clothes.我也不是第一次把女娃装改成男娃装了Why? You got your sister's hand-me-downs? 怎么你小时候也穿过姐姐的二手衣吗Yeah, that. 就当是吧Oh. I should've brought peanuts. 我应该带点花生的You can't eat peanuts. You're allergic. 你又不能吃花生你会过敏If you die, who's going to drive me home? 你要是死了谁来开车送我回家呢I'm not gonna eat them. 我不会吃的It's a thing they do at JPL. 这是喷气推进实验室做会的事负责开发与管理无人空间探测任务美国国家航空航天局的一个下属机构When the Ranger mission finally had a successful launch, 当徘徊者号终于成功发射的那一次发射过9次只成功过5次美国在1960年代进行的无人太空任务there were peanuts in the room. 控制中心就有花生Ever since then, they have them at every launch. 从那时起每次发射都会摆上花生That sounds like a silly superstition. 听起来是很白痴的封建迷信It's more of a tradition. 应该说是传统Oh! I do love a tradition. 传统我倒是很喜欢Could you pull over at the next peanut store? 下一家花生店你能不能靠边停一下I don't think that's a real thing. 没有这种店吧Oh, don't be pedantic. 脑筋怎么转不过来弯呢Any nut store will do. 随便一家坚果店都行啊I-I don't think we can get peanuts out here. 这附近应该没有卖花生的Ah, well, then this whole day's ruined. 好吧那今天就毁了Now that I think about it, maybe it is more of a superstition. 现在想想其实这更应该只是迷信Whew! That was close. 那好险啊Oh, uh, hey, Beverly, you called my phone, not Leonard's. 贝弗利你打的是我手机不是莱纳德的Actually, I was hoping to speak with you. 其实我是想和你聊聊Is this a good time? 现在方便吗Uh, that depends. 看情况What time is it where you are? 你那边现在几点Uh, just after 5:00. 下午刚过5点Yeah, that counts. 好吧那也作数Yeah, that counts. 西方文化认为下午5点前是工作时间不宜饮酒What's up? 有什么事Well, I enjoyed our conversation the other day, 我挺喜欢我们前几天的对话and I was hoping to continue it. 希望能继续Really? 真的吗Uh, yes. You may find this surprising, 真的你可能会感到意外but I don't have a lot of what you would call girlfriends. 但其实我没有很多你所谓的"闺蜜" What? 不会吧Of course, there are my female colleagues, 当然也有些女同事but, uh, they're all Freudians, 不过她们都是弗洛伊德学派的so the only boy that I can dish about is my father. 所以我能和她们抱怨的男人就只有我父亲so the only boy that I can dish about is my father. 恋父情节就是由弗洛伊德所提出的Uh, well, you know, I'm here for you. 好吧我随时奉陪What do you want to talk about? 你想聊什么Well, last time, we focused on my life. 上次我们主要聊了我的生活If we're going to be real girlfriends, 如果我们要当真正的闺蜜we should talk about you as well. 也应该聊聊你的生活Well, you know, if we're gonna be real girlfriends, 如果我们要当真正的闺蜜we should get a third girl we can trash behind her back. 就应该再找个女生加入才能在背后说她坏话Oh, so we'd be catty. 那我们就是阴损姐妹喵Oh, I like it. 我喜欢What about Sheldon's fiance? 谢尔顿的未婚妻怎么样She seems a bit dour. 她好像挺死气沉沉的Ooh, dour? Meow. 死气沉沉吗毒喵啊All right. 好了Here we go. 来吧L-minus ten, nine... 准备发射十九Wait, what are you doing? It's T-minus? 等等你这是干什么应该说"发射倒计时"I was an astronaut. We used L-minus. 我曾是宇航员我们的用语是"准备发射"But this is a Saturn V, 可这模型是土星五号and when they launched those, they said T-minus? 当年发射这种火箭时是说倒计时It's my rocket! We're doing it my way. 这是我的火箭要按我说的做Fine. 好吧I'm not saying I know why your dad left, 我不是说我知道你父亲当年离开的原因but I think I'm getting an idea. 不过我好像明白了L-minus 准备发射ten, nine, eight, 十九八seven, six... 七六'Cause you're kind of bossy. 因为你挺霸道的...five, four, three, two, 五四三二one... 一I remember them going up higher. 我记得它们能飞更高啊Well, that's perfect. 这下好了I mean, the one thing I thought I could do with my son, 我唯一一件以为能和儿子一起做的事I can't even do that right. 我都做不好Well, if you want to see it again, I got it on video. 你要是想再看一遍我录了视频Looks pretty cool in slow motion. 用慢镜播放看起来还挺酷的Thank you for your support. 谢谢你的支持- You're welcome. - I was being sarcastic. -不客气 -我是在说反话How dare you! 你好大的胆Sheldon, what am I gonna do? 谢尔顿我该怎么办I mean, what do I know about raising a boy? 我哪懂该如何养育一个男孩What do you know about raising a girl? 难道你懂该如何养育女孩吗Oh, my God, you're right. 天啊你说得对Well, I don't know if that was sarcasm or not. 我不知道那是不是讽刺So, either you're welcome, or hey! 所以要么不客气要么你讨厌Leonard, did you really just text me from the couch 莱纳德你不是真的从沙发那发短信to put extra mustard on your sandwich? 叫我给你的三明治多放点黄芥末吧I was worried you might not check your e-mail. 我还担心你可能不会看手机呢I swear to God, I will throw this out. 我发誓我会把三明治扔了That one was not me. 这条不是我发的Oh, wait, it was just your mom. 等等是你妈My mother's texting you? 我妈给你发短信吗Yeah. We've been talking a lot lately. 是啊最近我们常聊天Why? 为什么She sick of talking to the magic mirror on the wall? 坏皇后跟墙上的魔镜聊腻了吗No, I think she's lonely. 不是啦我觉得她寂寞了She's been reaching out. 她最近常找我聊Okay, just be careful. 好吧小心点You think you're getting close to her, 你以为自己和她更亲近了and the next thing you know, you're featured in a book 殊不知下一刻你就被写进书里called He's Doing It On Purpose: Raising a Teenage Bed-Wetter. 书名叫《他是故意的: 养育一个尿床的青少年》No, it's not like that. 不是那样的You know, she's been opening up about her life, 她最近常分享她的生活and she's actually been really supportive about mine. 而且对我的生活也给予很多支持- Really? - Yeah. -真的吗 -是啊I've been telling her about my job, 我跟她说了我工作的事and she said she was proud of me. 她说她为我感到骄傲Well, that's great. 真好Never told me she was proud of me. 她从没说过为我感到骄傲Even when I stayed dry for a whole month. 哪怕我有一整个月都没尿床Do you not want me to be friends with your mom? 你不希望我和你妈做朋友吗Well, let's be clear. 我们把话说清楚I-I married you to hurt her. 我娶你是为了伤害她You're kind of ruining it. 这乐趣现在要被你毁了Reason number 13 to feel good: 开心的第13个理由as a launch, it was bad, 作为一次发射很失败but as an explosion, it was glorious. 但作为一次爆炸简直壮丽Reason 14, 第14个理由you still have all your fingers, 你十根手指都还在and boys prefer a dad with fingers. 男孩都喜欢有手指的爸爸Thanks for trying, 感谢你的努力but you're not gonna be able to cheer me up. 但你没法让我开心的Well, how about this, then? 那这招怎么样You quit your whining before I give you 别再叽叽歪歪了something to cry about, young man. 否则我打到你"鸡歪" 年轻人What? 什么Those are comforting words my father would often say. 我父亲以前常用这些话安慰我Did it help? 有帮助吗I turned out great. 我现在是人中龙凤啊You tell me. 你说呢Let's get going. 我们走吧Are you gonna be this mopey all the way home? 回家路上你也要这么丧吗I don't know, maybe. 我不知道可能吧There any chance you'd be cheered up 那超高难度的三角函数谜题by an amazing trigonometry riddle? 能让你打起精神吗Well, if you can't answer that, 你要是连这个都回答不了there's no way you're gonna get this riddle. 那你肯定也解不了题Oh, hey, hey, what do you think? 你觉得怎么样Just because it's a boy, I don't think you need to 虽说是男孩但你也不用在他衣服上put a picture of genitals on his shirt. 缝个生殖器图案吧But that's a baseball bat with two little baseballs. 那是棒球棒和两颗小棒球啦Okay, and now I see it. 现在我看出来了So, you know, I understand why 我能理解为什么Howard is nervous about having a son, 霍华德为儿子的出生而紧张but are you really upset about it? 可你是真的不开心吗No, I'm fine. 我其实还好啦It's just, I grew up with a bunch of brothers, 只是我从小在兄弟堆中长大so I thought it'd be nice for Halley to have a sister. 所以我觉得哈雷有个妹妹挺好的Is that wrong? 这个想法错了吗Of course it's wrong. 当然错了You don't know what this little boy's gonna be like. 你又不知道这个男孩会成长为怎样的人Maybe he'll be rough and tumble, 也许他会粗鲁莽撞or maybe he'll be sweet and sensitive, 也许他会温柔敏感or maybe he'll be all those things, like me. 也许他会集上述性格为一身就像我You're rough and tumble? 你粗鲁又莽撞吗You bet I am, bitch. 来试试看啊小婊砸But I'm also sensitive and regret saying that. 但我也很敏感我收回刚才的话- Hey. - Hello. -嗨 -好呀You got a sec? 有空吗Sure. What's up? 有呀怎么了Penny's been talking to my mother 佩妮最近一直在和我妈聊天like they're best friends, and it's kind of freaking me out. 就像最好的闺蜜一样让我瘆得慌Okay... 好吧I'm pretty sure they're not best friends. 我敢肯定她俩不是最好的闺蜜'Cause you can only have one best friend. 因为每个人只能有一个最好的闺蜜And Penny has that, and it's me. 佩妮名花有主了那就是我Oh, really? Is she FaceTiming with you right now? 是吗那她正和你在视频吗Because she's FaceTiming with my mom, and believe me, 因为她现在正跟我妈视频呢that is not a face you want to spend time with. 而我妈那张脸应该让人看不下去才对Hmm. Well, I have been pretty busy lately. 我最近确实挺忙的Maybe I've been neglecting our friendship. 也许是我对这段友情疏于照顾了Penny knows I have a complicated relationship with my mother; 佩妮知道我和我妈关系复杂it's like she doesn't even care. 可她却毫不在意And with everything going on at the lab 实验室里事多繁杂and planning the wedding, 加上还要计划婚礼I just, I have so little free time. 我的空闲时间实在太少了Penny doesn't know how manipulative my mother can be.佩妮不知道我妈有多会玩弄人于鼓掌之间Did you know there's such a thing as 你知道世界上所谓的reverse, reverse, reverse psychology? 逆反再逆反之三重逆反心理吗Because... there is. 因为... 真的有I mean, she must feel so abandoned. 她一定觉得自己受冷落了She's used to me being there all the time, 她太习惯我在她左右but now I have my own life, 但我现在有了自己的生活and she's just gonna have to accept it. 她必须要适应这件事And why is my mom proud of Penny and not me? 为什么我妈为佩妮骄傲而不是为我骄傲I mean, the real question is: why is Penny so afraid of me 最重要的问题是为什么佩妮不愿意growing as a person? 接受我成长的事实I'm good at stuff, too! 我也有擅长的东西呀I deserve my own life! 我也需要有自己的生活呀Okay, well, thanks. 好了多谢Good talk. 聊得愉快You know, studies have shown 研究证明that people distracted by emotional issues 会受情绪影响而分心的人are poor drivers. 都是垃圾司机What about people distracted by irritating passengers? 那遇到烦人乘客才分心的人呢That would be hard to test, 这倒是很难实验because irritating is a subjective quality. 因为烦人是一种主观的素质Strongly disagree. 强烈反对Can I drive? 能让我开车吗No. 不行You can't drive. 你不能开车You don't even have a license. 你连驾照都没有Actually, I do. 实际上我有的Really? Since when? 真的吗什么时候的事Three years ago. 3年前I went on a bit of a license kick. 我有段时间迷上了考执照I'm also a commercial fisherman. 我还是个职业渔民Then why don't you ever drive yourself? 那你为什么从不自己开车Honestly, I barely passed my test. 老实说我考试也是低分通过And the one time I drove on my own, 而我唯一一次独自开车上路I made a U-turn, got dizzy, threw up and walked home. 调了个头开始晕车吐了满身最后走回家You really want to drive? 你真的想开车吗It seems like the perfect time. 感觉是个很好的时机啊The roads are straight, there's no one around, 大路笔直没有车来车往and you don't seem to care if you live or die. 你看起来也不太在乎自己的死活Live, Sheldon. I want to live. 活着谢尔顿我绝对想活着That makes things a little trickier, 这样事情就有点难度了but I'll do my best. 不过我会尽力的Hi, Pen... 嗨佩...Oh, hello, Leonard. 哦你好呀莱纳德Hello, Mother. How are you? 你好妈妈最近怎么样- Fine. And you? - I'm great. -很好你呢 -我也不错Well, it's been lovely catching up. 好吧很高兴和你聊天Wait. Hang on. We need to talk. 等等等一下我们需要谈一谈Oh, brother. 我的老天I want to know, why aren't you proud of me? 我想知道你为什么不为我骄傲Well, isn't the real question, 真正的问题难道不该是"Why aren't you proud of yourself?" "你为什么不为你自己骄傲吗"No, that is a question-- and I ask it a lot-- 不那也是一个问题我也问过多次but let's stick with the one I asked you. 不过现在还是先回答我的问题吧But why do you think I'm not proud of you? 你为什么会觉得我不为你自豪呢Because you never say it. 因为你从来没说过呀But two days into chatting with Penny, 可你和佩妮聊了两天and you can't stop telling her how great she is. 你对她总是赞不绝口She is great. 她的确很不错Honestly, of all of my children's spouses, 老实说在我所有的儿媳和女婿中she's the one that I'm most impressed by. 她是最令我印象深刻的Seriously? 真的吗Yes. 真的She's confident, she's thoughtful, 她自信满满体贴入微and she never complained about you once. 而且从来没有抱怨过你半句I know what kind of strength that takes. 我知道这需要多大的勇气So, Penny's your favorite? 所以你最欣赏佩妮吗I suppose she is. 我想她是的You married well, Leonard, and for that I am proud of you. 你娶了个好姑娘莱纳德对此我为你骄傲I don't... I don't... I don't know what to say. 我...我不知道...该说什么了I'm also proud of how hard you're trying not to cry. 我也为你努力克制不哭而骄傲Thank you. 谢谢Would you like to hang up now? 你想结束视频了吗Yeah, here it comes. 好泪已经忍不住了Your hands are at 10:00 and 2:00. 你的双手在10点和2点方向Good. Steady on the gas. 很好稳稳地踩住油门Okay. 不错Now you're gonna want to slowly switch lanes. 现在你可以慢慢换车道了Why? 为什么呀Because there are only two, 因为现在路上只有两车道and you're not in either of them. 而你不在任何一条上Attaboy. Well done! 做得好完美Thank you. 谢谢The last time I drove, I was terrified, 上次开车时我还吓得半死but this is fun. 今天开车可真有趣You're doing great. 你开得很不错You're a good teacher. 你也是一个好老师Your son is going to be lucky to have you as a father. 有你这样的爸爸你儿子一定很幸运Thanks. 谢谢你Do you think I could try going a little faster? 你觉得我可以再开快一点吗Go for it, champ. 想做就去做吧小冠军Ow. 疼呀Sorry. 抱歉Just ease on the gas, and... 轻轻踩一下油门然后...Oh, too much! Too much! 踩多了踩多了Why was I scared of this? This is exhilarating! 我之前在怕什么这真是太刺激了No, it's not! Slow down! 刺激个大头鬼慢下来Don't tell me what to do! You're not my father! 别对我指手画脚的你又不是我爸爸Do you know how fast you were going? 你知道你开得有多快吗112. 时速180公里Let me see your license. 把驾照给我- Okay, here's the plan. -No. -听着我的计划是... -闭嘴Fine. 好吧There you go. 给你You know what, you can just keep it. 算了这驾照你留着吧。

Some news of our wedding, 说一件关于我们婚礼的事情I have sent you all a "Save the date" e-mail. 我给各位发了一封"空出时间"电邮Oh, exciting. You guys picked a date? 太好啦你们选好日子了吗Better. I picked 80 dates. 何止如此我选好了80个日子And I need you to save them all until we narrow it down. 我需要你们空出全部日子直到名单缩小I thought we agreed on June 15. 我还以为我们同意选6月15了That's the day after Flag Day. 那是美国国旗日隔天Everyone'll be partied out. 大家肯定庆祝到脱力了It's a date-- just pick one. 选个日子而已干脆点It's not just a date-- it's a textbook optimization problem. 这不止是一个日子这是经典的最佳化问题There is a perfect date-- just like there's 绝对有个最佳日期就像是有a perfect room temperature and a perfect dessert. 最佳室温与最佳餐后甜品一样Mm. There's no perfect dessert. 才没有最佳餐后甜品呢Yellow cake in the shape of a dinosaur 恐龙形状的海绵蛋糕with chocolate frosting, 撒上巧克力糖霜a scoop of vanilla ice cream on the side, 边上配一勺香草冰淇淋球not touching. 不碰到蛋糕You'll see. 到时候你就知道了You'll have it at our wedding. 你会在我们婚礼上吃到You wanna bet? 来打赌吗You give me enough time, 你们给我足够时间I can do the same thing with a wedding date-- 我也能够为婚礼算出完美日子it needs to be on the weekend, 它必须是在周末uh, not near any of your birthdays, 避开你们任何人的生日or the weekend of Comic Con. 或漫展周末Ooh, you could get married at Comic Con. 你也可以在漫展上结婚啊- No! - No! -不行 -不行We just need a weekend date 我们只需要选一个that's completely boring and uneventful. 无聊又平凡的普通周末就行了Too bad you didn't get your ducks in a row, 让你们不把事情都安排好'cause tonight would have been perfect. 不然其实今晚完美符合你条件呢Good morning. 早安Good morning. 早安啊I know today is Apple Jacks day, but... we're all out. 我知道今天是吃苹果脆片的日子但没有了That's fine. I'll have anything. 没事我吃什么都行Really? 真的假的Yeah. You know... 是啊你懂的whatev. 无所..."Whatev"? "无所[谓]"吗I like this side of you. 我喜欢你的这面You know what I like? 那你知道我喜欢什么吗Smooth jazz. 柔和爵士Hey, just a reminder-- 提醒你一下- I'm going out for drinks after work. - Oh. Great. -今天下班后我要去喝酒 -很好Just a reminder-- you're pregnant. 提醒你一下你有孕在身I'm not drinking, just taking a new coworker out. 我自己不喝只是带新同事去Oh. Just a reminder-- you're married. 提醒你一下你是有夫之妇Female coworker. 女同事She's new in town, and I want to make her feel welcome. 初来乍到我想让她感觉有家的温暖And let her know the office is full of liars 以及在大家跟她说我很毒辣之前before everyone tells her I'm mean. 先灌输她办公室都是说谎精的思想Is she single? 她单身吗I'm not setting her up with Raj. 我才不要撮合她跟拉杰- What about Stuart? - Are you listening? -那斯图尔特呢 -你是没听我说话吗I want her to think I'm not mean. 我想要她觉得我是暖心好人Okay. Well, it's just... 好吧我会这么说we have two single friends. 也只是因为我们有两个单身朋友嘛Howie, I just met this woman. 华仔我才刚认识这女生Why don't I wait a little and get to know her? 何不稍微等到我更了解她之后呢Maybe I won't like her, and then I'd be happy 或许我会讨厌她到时我就会很乐意to ruin her life with Stuart or Raj. 让斯图尔特与拉杰毁了她人生That's all I ask. 这样我就满足了So, you guys lived with Sheldon for a long time... 你们俩跟谢尔顿同住过很长一段时间- Long time. - So very long. -好长 -太长了By the way, congratulations again on your engagement. 对了再次恭喜你们订婚啊Yeah. You got a good one. 对啊你找到了人中之龙啊Thanks. So, it's strange, 谢谢所以有件怪事Sheldon was talking in his sleep last night, 谢尔顿昨晚睡觉说梦话了and he seemed like a totally different person. 感觉他完全是另一个人He was relaxed and... 他很放松而且...loose and calm. 散漫且平静Well, Sheldon's a complicated man. 谢尔顿是个复杂的男人He said "Whatev." 他说了"无所"Give him a brain scan-- that might be a tumor. 带他去做大脑扫描可能长瘤了Well, I think the wedding planning is really stressful for him,我觉得计划婚礼对他造成太大压力了and that can trigger sleep talking. 从而导致梦呓Well, maybe this is a part of Sheldon's personality 或许那是谢尔顿性格中he's been repressing. 一直被他压抑的一部分I mean, I think we dream about things 毕竟不是正所谓we wish we could be in real life. 日有所思夜有所梦吗Really? What do you dream about? 是吗那你都梦些什么了Oh. Uh... being the wife of Leonard. 比如当莱纳德的老婆Mostly that. 基本都是这个啦I choose to believe you. 我选择相信你Well, as much as we've studied the brain, 虽然人类对大脑做过无数研究there's still a lot we don't know about dreams and their function.但人类对梦与它的作用还是有许多不了解You know, even psychologists are divided on it. 心理学家们对它的解读也有分歧Mm, it's true-- Freud thought dreams were about sex, 的确佛洛依德认为梦与性有关Adler thought they were about dominance... 阿德勒认为梦与支配有关后者不同意前者看法因此退出并自成一派两者曾是同一精神分析学会的核心人物Then again, mine are just about being married to this little guy. 再次强调我的梦都是与嫁给这位小巨人有关Well, now it's just edging into mockery. 这次感觉像是在嘲讽我了Well, moving to a new city was a little scary, 搬到新的城市真的有些让人害怕but the job seems great. 但这份工作感觉挺不错的Everyone's really nice. 大家人都很好Oh, they are. Super nice. 是啊都超好I mean, only one them took you out tonight-- 虽然只有一个人晚上带你出来玩but it's not a competition. 但毕竟这也不是什么比赛Thanks again. 再次谢谢你You know, we could have gone somewhere more pregnancy-friendly.其实我们可以去更适合孕妇的地方啊Oh, it's okay. One of the great things about being pregnant 没事的怀孕的其中一个亮点就是is drinking cranberry juice out of a wineglass 可以用酒杯喝蔓越莓汁and watching people freak out. 然后看别人着急的反应Bernie! 妮妮Oh, damn. 我勒个去Hey! What are the odds? 有缘千里来相会啊Yeah, seren-frickin'-dipity. 是啊真特么"巧"啊Hello. 你好- Rajesh. - Stuart. -拉杰什 -斯图尔特Hi. Ruchi. 我叫如琪Ruchi is my coworker. 如琪是我的同事But that was probably in your briefing packet. 但估计你们在介绍简报里都看过了What's wrong? 怎么啦Well, I found the perfect wedding date. 我找到了最佳的结婚日了- That's terrific! - No, it's not. -那太棒啦 -才不呢It was May 19, 1996. 是1996年5月19日We would have had a lovely wedding. 我们本来可以有一场完美的婚礼And our honeymoon would have coincided 我们的蜜月之旅刚好还能对上with the first appearance of the Hale-Bopp comet. 海尔-波普彗星的首次出现于1997年4月1日过近日点该彗星在1995年被发现Sheldon, you were 16. 谢尔顿你当时才16岁And in Texas-- no one would have batted an eye. 那时我也还在德州我们那里才没人会管Oh, wait, it's no good. 等等那天也不好That's the day that Jon Pertwee, the third Doctor Who, died.第三任《神秘博士》演员是在那天去世的And it's in the past. 而且那天已经过了Hey-hey, I said it's no good-- just let it go. 我已经说那天不好了放下吧Sheldon... 谢尔顿I appreciate you trying to make this wedding perfect, 我很谢谢你想让婚礼完美but it's making you miserable. 但这都快把你搞疯了No, the wedding isn't making me miserable, 不是婚礼没有要把我搞疯the calendar is. 是日子Why can't there just be one week each month 为什么名人就不能集中在for famous people to die? 每个月某周去世呢Well, they've already arranged to die in threes-- 都已经丧事成三了会有另外两个与死者有关系的人也跟着过世外国的一种迷信有人认为一个人死去后what more do you want from them? 你还想要求人家怎么样啊This is so frustrating. Why can't I find a perfect date? 真是闹心死了为什么我就找不出最佳的日子呢I found the perfect way to say hi to cowboys. 我就找出了与牛仔打招呼的最佳方式啊I'm just saying maybe there's a part of you deep down that... 我只是觉得或许在你内心的深处just wants to relax a little, you know? 有一部分的你只想放松下来Kick back. 逍遥一点Say, "Whatev." 比如说"无所..."Whatev? 无所...吗I'm sorry, you're really not gonna finish that word? 抱歉你真的不把那词说完吗I-I'm just trying to make a point... 我只是举个例子嘛Finish the word, Amy. 说完它艾米Fine. Er. 行谓Er, er, er. 谓谓谓Thank you. 谢谢Only now you owe me three more whatevs. 但你现在欠我三次"无所"了Oh, you were born in Trivandrum. 原来你是印度特里凡得琅出生的啊Have you ever been to the Kuthira Malika Palace? 你去过那里的百马宫了吗No, I haven't. 没没去过呢Me, either. What a small world. 我也是呢真是太有缘了I've also never been there. 我也没去过那里I've never been lots of places. 我没去过的地方太多了Go on, quiz me. 来啊考我看看I'm sorry, we're being rude talking about India. 对不起我们这么聊印度的事太无礼了Oh, yeah, you know, if you and Bernadette 是啊如果你跟伯纳黛特want to talk about America, that's cool with us. 想聊美国的事我们没意见的Here, let me get you started. 我来帮你们起个头吧Hamburgers. Am I right? 汉堡包对吧So, what do you guys do? 你们都是做什么工作Well, I am an astrophysicist, 我是个天体物理学家so if you ever go out at night and look up at the stars, 如果我们有机会晚上一起出去看星星that's kind of my office. 其实星空算是我的办公室He sells comic books to children. 他卖漫画书给孩子Actually, 其实呢I own my own store. 我是自己开的店Uh, I-if you'd like to check it out sometime, 如果你有兴趣来看看I'm running a new promotion-- 我最近在做个促销活动buy anything, get taken out for a reasonably priced dinner. 买任何东西就请你吃价钱合理的晚餐一次Yeah, yeah, Stuart's struggling financially. 是啊斯图尔特经济上有些困难But he doesn't let that get him down. 但他并没有因此被击垮He believes in himself. 他对自己有信心Even though the whole world has made it clear 尽管全世界都清楚地告诉他he should not. 他不该盲目自信Thank you. 谢谢你啊A-And, you know, Raj, I think it's great 对了拉杰我觉得你现在that you no longer live off your parents like a spoiled child.再也不像个被宠坏的米虫一样靠父母吃饭You live over someone's garage like a... 而是去住别人家车库就像个... failed adult. 成年废柴Yeah, well, you live with her. 是啊你还跟她同住呢Oh, it's not like that. 不是那样的He rents a room from me and my husband. 他跟我们夫妇租了一间房Who, by the way, is no prize, either. 我们也是无妄之灾啊Oh, I don't care. 我才不在意You know me-- I just go with the flow. 你懂我我随波逐流Beach, public pool... 海滩公共泳池They both sound awesome. 听起来都超赞On second thought, beach. 仔细想想海滩I'd like to befriend a seagull. 我想跟海鸥交朋友That is crazy. 绝对是疯言疯语Yeah. Will you e-mail that to me? 对啊你能发一份到我邮箱吗Have you played this for him? 你有播过这个给他听吗No. I'm worried he'll say I violated his privacy. 没有我怕他说我侵犯他隐私权Listen how happy he sounds. 你们听他有多开心I'm up for anything, 做什么都可以as long as I'm with you. 只要在你身边就行- What are you listening to? - Nothing. -你们在听什么 -没什么Oh, come on, I want to hear. 干嘛藏着我也想听We don't need GPS. 我们才不需要导航Let's just see where the road takes us. 路长在脚下我们只需随心而行I see why you turned it off. 难怪你们刚才要关掉That guy sounds like an idiot. 这人听起来就像个傻逼Honey, that's you. 亲爱的那人就是你Don't be silly. My voice is deep and sonorous. 别傻了我的声音又深沉又响亮Like a Caucasian James Earl Jones. 就像白人版的詹姆斯·厄尔·琼斯为《星球大战》系列电影中的黑武士配音美国知名演员"Luke, I am your father." See? "卢克我是你爹" 听见没It is you. 真的是你I recorded you in your sleep. 我在你睡觉时录的Oh, look-- a hitchhiker. 看啊一个搭便车的I bet he has some interesting stories. 我猜他一定有些有趣的故事That's me? 那是我吗It's you. 是你So you spied on me in my sleep? 你暗中监视我睡觉吗Sheldon, I'm sorry. 谢尔顿抱歉You've been doing this every night. 你每晚都这么说梦话I couldn't help but wonder if it meant something. 我不禁好奇这些梦话是否代表什么Well, it doesn't. 并没有Are you sure? 你确定吗I mean, the prefrontal cortex regulates impulse control. 前额皮质掌管自控力So it's plausible that when we're asleep, 所以我们睡着时平时被压抑的个性aspects of our personality that we repress might come out. 可能会跑出来这种理论是说得通的Don't try to put science lipstick on your New Age pig! 别以为加了科学词屁话就不是屁话了And for the record, 声明一下you make noises when you sleep, 你睡觉时也发出声音and I've never accused you of repressing your inner chainsaw.我可从没说过你压抑了心中的电锯If you want me to object at your wedding, 如果你想让我在婚礼上提出反对If you want me to object at your wedding, 婚礼证婚时会询问有没有人反对这婚事just give me one of these. 给我打个暗号就行This picture of Galactus eating a planet looks like 这个行星吞噬者正在吞噬星球的画面This picture of Galactus eating a planet looks like 漫威漫画《神奇四侠》中的角色my preggo wife destroying a coffee cake. 就像我的孕妻在吞食咖啡蛋糕的样子Oh, yeah, I see it. 是啊是有点像I'm just saying, you should bow out. 我只是说你应该退出Why should I bow out? 为什么是我该退出Uh, because we all know how this is gonna end. 因为我们都知道结局会如何That's what my doctor said, too, but I'm still here. 我的医生也这么说但我还在这活蹦乱跳呢Okay, look, I think that she and I have more in common. 听着我觉得我和她有更多共同点Because you're Indian? 因为你们都是印度人吗So just 'cause she's brown, you get to date her? 就因为她是棕色人种你就可以和她约会了Yes! 是啊And the next time we meet a woman 下次我们遇到一个who's pale and cadaver-like, she's all yours. 皮肤苍白得像死尸的女人她就归你了Howard, Bernadette was there last night. 霍华德伯纳黛特昨晚在场Did she say anything when she got home? 她回家后有说什么吗Yeah, she said, "Why'd you tell those idiots where I was? 她说"你为什么告诉那俩白痴我在哪Thanks a lot." 谢你一辈子啊"Okay, how about we flip a coin? 好吧我们掷硬币决定怎么样Look, hang on. Doesn't this girl get a word in all of this? 等等那女生对此事不该有发言权吗And isn't that word "No"? 她不是该发言表示"不要"吗Ruchi said she wanted to hang out with both of us. 如琪说想跟我们两个一起出来玩Why don't we just do that? 我们何不就那么做吗Oh, fine. Let's hang out as friends and see what happens. 好吧大家像朋友一样出去玩顺其自然Yeah, and if something grows out of it, just worry about it then. 对啊要是真滋生出什么到时再担心吧Also what my doctor said. 我的医生也是这么说的Hey, this isn't your laundry night. 今晚不是你的洗衣日啊I know. Laundry on a Wednesday. 就是啊周三洗衣服It's the madness my life has become. 我的人生已经疯狂到这地步了Why is this sleep-talking thing bothering you anyway? 你为什么对说梦话这事如此烦恼It's simple. 很简单I don't like the idea 我不喜欢that my mind might be keeping an entire personality from me.我的脑子也许对我隐瞒了另一种人格的可能Dr. Jekyll's other personality was Mr. Hyde. 杰基尔博士的另一重人格可是海德先生杰基尔和海德代表了善与恶两种性格小说《化身博士》中的人物Mr. Hyde. 海德"先生"啊Didn't have a postgraduate degree. 他连研究生学位都没有Is it possible that you're stressed 有没有可能你压力大because you're scared about getting married? 是因为你害怕结婚I mean, it is a big change, 这是个大改变and you're not good with little changes. 而你连个小改变都难以接受Well, that's nonsense. 胡说You name one little change I was upset with. 举个我对小改变不开心的例子Uh, when they changed the green Skittle from lime to apple.他们把绿色彩虹糖的口味从青柠改成了苹果That is not the rainbow I grew up tasting. 那不是人家从小吃的彩虹All right, fine. Let's start over. 好吧重新来过Is it possible that the sleep-talking is a part of your brain 说梦话会不会是你的大脑在告诉你that's telling you everything's gonna be okay 一切都会很好and you just need to relax a little? 你放松一点就行了So you're proposing that the self is an illusion, 所以你是在说自我只是幻觉and that we actually have multiple centers of consciousness 人其实有多个意识中心that are communicating with one another? 它们在相互交流吗In laymen's terms, yeah. 用非专业术语来说是的Huh. Interesting. 有意思So you don't believe there's a Cartesian self 所以你不认为有个笛卡尔自我that underlies the flux of experience? 在经历流之下吗Maybe in my twenties, not anymore. 二十几岁时可能信过现在不信了Okay. Well, assuming you're right, 好吧假定你说的是对的what would you suggest I do? 你会建议我怎么做Well, I would start with something small, 我会建议你先从一些小改变做起see if it makes your life any better. 看会不会改善你的生活Um, you can learn to meditate, take a yoga class. 你可以学冥想上瑜伽课Oh. You know, I have always been intrigued by flip-flops. 我倒是一直对人字拖感到好奇The official footwear of the laid-back fellow. 悠闲之人的标配鞋Okay, sure. 你高兴就好Of course if my feet are gonna be exposed, 当然了如果我的脚要暴露在外I'll need to update my tetanus booster. 我就得去打新的破伤风疫苗Oh, yeah. Makes sense. 有道理Yeah. And while I'm there, I may as well get a flu shot 既然都去了不如把流感疫苗也打了- and a mole check. - Sure. -再检查下痣 -好啊You know, I've never had a mole check. 我还从来没检查过痣呢You know, I've never had a mole check. 身上的痣产生奇异的变化有可能是黑色素瘤Well, it's been nice knowing you. 此生能认识你真好Here you go. 给你Thanks. 谢谢It's too bad Stuart couldn't make it. He seemed fun. 斯图尔特来不了真可惜他挺有趣的Oh, yeah, he is. I love him dearly, yeah. 确实是的我非常喜欢他Not to say that I don't worry about him. 倒不是说我不担心他What's to worry about? 担心他什么You know what? 其实呢I'm talking out of school. 我说得太多了[学校]Speaking of which, he's allowed to live near them now. 说起这个他现在又能合法地住在学校附近了Speaking of which, he's allowed to live near them now. 性侵犯不能住在学校300米范围内Hey, guys. 二位- Oh, great, Stuart. You're here. - Yeah, Stuart. -太好了斯图尔特你来了 -是啊斯图尔特Yeah, I did... I didn't think you were gonna make it. 对呀我都没想到你能来呢Mm. I believe that. 你这话我信Sorry, guys. It's work. I've got to take it. 抱歉工作上的事我得接一下I'm so glad you made it, Stuart. 真高兴你能来斯图尔特Oh, yeah, so glad. 没错高兴死了I can't believe you went behind my back! 真不敢相信你居然出阴招Which clearly means I want this more! 这就表明我比你更急切呀You want to play a game of "Who's more desperate" with me? 你想和我比"谁更想脱单"吗'Cause you're in the big leagues now, Bucko. 那你面对的可是大联盟级别选手哦小伙子L-Look, Ruchi and I are really hitting it off. 如琪和我真的很有火花Please let me just have this one! 拜托你就把她让给我吧I'm not going anywhere. 老子哪都不去I'm like a fungus you can't get rid of. 我就是你那治不好的真菌感染Sorry. 抱歉So what's going on? 你们在聊什么呢Oh, you just missed Stuart's funny story 你正好错过了斯图尔特刚才在聊about the fungus he can't get rid of. 他那治不好的真菌感染Raj didn't tell me about tonight 拉杰根本没通知我今晚的活动so he could be alone with you. 他想跟你独处Really? 真的吗That's a little weird. 这样有一点小变态啊Just a little? Because I can work with that. 只有一点吗我可以马上改正Look, guys, I'm not interested in dating anyone right now. 两位我暂时没打算谈恋爱I'm just looking to make some friends. 我只是想多认识一些朋友Yeah, I totally understand. 我完全理解你But if you were gonna date someone, 但如果让你选个约会对象would it be me or Stuart? 你会选我还是斯图尔特呢I think I'm gonna go. 我想我还是先走了Uh, uh, uh, uh, Ruchi, I'm sorry. 如琪对不起If you still want to hang out as friends, I'd like that. 如果你还想像朋友一样出来玩我很愿意Thanks, Stuart. I'd like that, too. 谢了斯图尔特我也很愿意And the fungus is under the toenail. 那小真菌就躲在你脚趾甲缝里Hello. 回来了So, um, I, uh... 那个... 我...I got flip-flops. 我去穿了人字拖Good for you. 很好啊Oh, my God, what happened?! 我的妈呀出什么事了After I got the flip-flops, 我穿上人字拖后I realized that the tops of my feet were exposed, so, um, 我发现脚背都暴露在外了I-I put on some sunscreen, 于是我赶紧擦了防晒霜which caused my feet to become slippery. 结果两只脚都滑腻腻的And predictably, one of them fell off 不出所料一只拖鞋从我脚上滑飞and went down a sewer grate. 直接掉进了下水道口Now, normally, I would have walked away, 按我平常的脾气我会一走了之but this is a new, laid-back me, so, 但作为一个全新放松的我instead of getting upset, I just reached down to grab it. 我没有生气而是趴下去捡鞋That's when I touched something furry... 然后我就摸到了某种毛茸茸的东西...which I'm telling myself was a damp toupee. 我说服自己那只是一顶湿假发When the toupee licked my hand... 但当假发开始舔我的手时...I screamed 我尖叫着and hopped down the street on my remaining flip-flop. 单脚穿着拖鞋跳走了- Can I just ask... - No, this is a long story. -我可以问问... -不这故事还长着呢Why don't we please save your questions till the end? 不如把问题留到最后再问吧So, I-I finally came upon a bus bench 我最终坐在一张公车站的长凳上where I sat and removed one of my shirts 脱掉了我的一件衣服and, uh, fashioned it into a makeshift shoe. 用它做了一只临时的鞋Not a waterproof shoe. 这鞋不防水That is relevant to the next part of my story. 这个细节和我接下来的故事大有关联The ankle-deep puddle of warm apple juice. 那是一坑深及脚踝的"温热金黄苹果汁" Apple juice? 什么苹果汁Maybe, maybe not. 也许是也许不是I'm telling myself a lot of things, Amy. 我说服了自己好多事艾米What happened to your other flip-flop? 那你剩下的那只人字拖去哪里了Oh, well, that involves what I am telling myself was a... 那个就涉及到一块我说服自己是melted candy bar. 融化的巧克力棒的东西了Okay. I-I'm sorry. 好吧太心疼你了Is there anything I can do to help? 我能帮你做点什么吗Yes. I want you to be in charge of our wedding. 有我希望由你来负责我们的婚礼Just you tell me where and when, 只需把地点和时间告诉我and I will show up with a boutonniere 我会佩着胸花and close-toed shoes and a... 穿着不露脚趾的鞋子a Star Trek uniform underneath my tuxedo. 还有晚礼服下的《星际迷航》制服来参加That last part is non-negotiable. 最后这部分绝对没得商量Are you sure that's what you want? 你确定这是你想要的吗As sure as I'm about to go bathe in Purell. 就像我打算在洗手液里泡澡一样确定- I love you. - I love you, too. -我爱你 -我也爱你You know, ever since I was a young girl, 我从小姑娘开始I-I've dreamed of a June wedding, 就一直梦想着一场六月的婚礼maybe on a cliff overlooking the ocean at sunset. 也许是在可以看到海边夕阳的悬崖边上Sure. 好呀Sounds wonderful. 听起来很不错Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go clean up. 现在请允许我去清洗一下Outdoor wedding. 露天婚礼I know what I'll be using that cliff for. 我知道我会用那悬崖来干什么I call this meeting of the Council of Sheldons to order.我宣布现在召开谢尔顿理事会常务会议Let's take roll. 开始点名Science Sheldon? 科学谢尔顿Present. 到Texas Sheldon? 德州谢尔顿Howdy. 在这嘎达Fanboy Sheldon? 狂热粉丝谢尔顿Greetings. 向你问好Germaphobe Sheldon? 洁癖谢尔顿Say it, don't spray it. 说话别喷口水Where is Jock Sheldon? 运动员谢尔顿去哪里了Not the time, humorous Sheldon. 别开玩笑了搞笑谢尔顿Ok, new business. 新的议题Do we grant layback Sheldon a seat on the council?我们是否同意授予懒散谢尔顿一个理事会席位拖了很久才去领奖美国民谣歌手获得16年诺贝尔文学奖后Hey, whatever you guys want. 随便你们吧I'm just chill like Bob Dylan. 我和鲍勃·迪伦一样无所谓Negative. 拒绝Heck no! 没门I don't feel well. 我感觉不舒服Can we kick him out too? 我们能把他也踢走吗。

- Hey, have you ever heard of the Van Nuys Comic-Con? - Yeah. It's a dinky little convention where they sell collectiblesand get sad D-list celebrities to appear. Why?I got asked to sign autographs there.That's awesome!Is this for Serial Ape-ist?Well, it could be for the monkey movie.It could be my hemorrhoid commercial.The list does not go on.- When is it? - It doesn't matter.- I'm not doing it. - What? Why not?You just said yourself, it's sad.Yeah, but it's not pathetic.That's where I draw the line.Come on! We'll have fun.I don't know.You'll have nerds fawning all over you.If you don't love that, this marriage is in trouble.I guess it wouldn't hurt to meet some fansand make a little extra money.Yeah.Wow! An appearance by George Lucas......'s dermatologist.- Oh, I want that autograph. - Oh, yeah.You know, with us living together,maybe we could think about having people over.We have people over all the time.We have the maintenance people, the pizza delivery man... ...that UPS driver who feels the need to askhow parts of me are hanging.You know what I meant.All right, fine.Let's say that we were to entertain people.What type of gathering did you have in mind?Huh? A meal? Lunch?Brunch? Dinner?Afternoon tea? A formal tea? Hmm?Is it a party?And if so, what kind of party?A cocktail party?A Tupperware party?Ooh, yeah-- is it a surprise party?Oh, I hope it's not a West Coast party,'cause according to the man on the radio,a West Coast party don't stop.I'm sorry I mentioned it.Oh, don't be. You get your hopes up,I knock them down. That's called teamwork.That's a kick.That's an actual kick.What are you doing?I felt a kick.There's a baby in there.Oh, yeah, that's where I put it.Oh, I mean, I know you're pregnant.I just...never connected the idea of pregnancyand you actually having a baby.Which MIT did you go to?Oh, God, we are not ready to have an infant in this house! We don't have a crib, we don't have diapers.We're not baby-proofed.Anyone can just walk in off the street and lift our toilet lids! Howie, we have time to do all that stuff.Do we?Look at you.Willy Wonka would roll you to the juicing room.The next person kicking you will be me.Good night.Are we even in a good school...?I warned you, and I did it.What's all this?Oh, everything we need for your autograph session--- head shots, markers. - Okay.Leonard, it's sweet you're excited about this,but it'll be a miracle if one person asks for my autograph. Are you kidding?I once paid $20 for Theo Sassler's signature.- Who's that? Oh, I don't even know.I just liked his name. Theo Sassler!Oh, and look at this.I even got a change maker.How much change you want, little lady?Oh, there's so much I want to change.Yeah, well, if it's a dollar, you're in luck.What's going on here?You expressed an interest in having people over,and I feel I dismissed it too quickly.So, I took matters into my own hands,and I arranged a brunch.Well, that's so nice.Who's coming?Oh, uh, Stuart, Bert from the geology lab,and Mrs. Petrescu from downstairs.You mean the Romanian lady on the second floor?Yes.Oh, fun story:she grew up with ten siblings.Or possibly penguins. Her English is atrocious.That's an odd mix of people.Well, for our first time hosting,I thought it would be wise to conduct a trial run.You know, like how I practiced for that Halloween haunted house by going into the bathroom at the bus station.You never went into that haunted house.You never saw what jumped out at me at the bus station. Well, thank you, Sheldon.This is a fun surprise.Well, the real surprise ishow surprised you are that I'm great at surprises.Well, that's not a surprise at all.I mean, if I knew you were good at surprises,I would have expected the surprise,and therefore not have been surprised.But as it is, I didn't know,and therefore my surprise should be unsurprising.Don't get me all randy. Guests are on the way.Hi.Hey, where you been?Oh, we went and did a little shopping for the baby.Wait till you see the crib we found.You bought a crib without me?- You're gonna love it. - Yeah.It's the highest rated one on the market.I wouldn't even call it a crib.I'd call it a Fortress of Solitude for babies.Sounds expensive.Okay, well, I may have gone a bit overboard,but you can't put a price on safety.Though if you did, it's more zeroes than you're expecting.But it's the safest crib you can buy.And if you don't like it, we can return it.- Fine. - In our new minivan.Hey, what's for lunch?You bought a minivan?!It's for the baby, and I didn't buy it.The dealer loaned it to me for a 24-hour test drive.Though we did ding up the back pretty good with the crib,so you might have bought a minivan.I don't want to drive that. It's such a mom car.The guy at the dealership saidthey're not just for moms anymore.Then again, he did think you were my husband.They thought it at the ultrasound.Why not at the car dealership?Never been on this side of the table before.I feel powerful.Really?I feel like I'm selling candy so our team can get new uniforms. Okay, so it's $4.75 for a signed black-and-whiteand $9.95 for a color.Right. Why not five and ten bucks?Well, I brought my moneymaker. Let me shake it.Hey, that guy's looking over here.You think he's your first autograph?I don't know. Be cool. He's coming. He's coming.I love your movie.Well, thanks.It has got to be one of the worst thingsI've ever seen in my life.Your love confuses me.- Would you like an autograph? - Sure.- Okay. Who do I make it out to? - Daniel. - Okay. - I have to ask.Were you trying to be that bad,or are you just a terrible actress?That did not clear things up.That'll be $4.75.Keep the change.But I...Nothing about that was good.There's nothing to be afraid of, Sheldon. The average cork speed is 25 miles per hour. If that is too fast around a school,it is certainly too fast around a kitchen. Been 15 minutes. Just sayin'.Okay. I can do this.Just give me a moment...Mimosas coming up.I once left orange juice in my fridge so long, it tasted like a mimosa.How old was it?It's hard to say.I don't remember much after I drank it.Would you like one, Mrs. Petrescu?Yes.Drink is fun and good friends-- Applebee's.Drink is fun and good friends-- Applebee's.She's learning English from TV.TV, good. Now back to you.Hey, guys.Hi, Stuart.These are for you.Oh, they're pretty. Thank you.Stuart, this is Bert from the Caltech geology lab,and this is Mrs. Petrescu from downstairs.Nice to meet you.- Hello. - Hey.So, what did I miss?Eh, we watched Sheldon try to open a bottle for 15 minutes.15 minutes can save you 15% or more on car insurance.15 minutes can save you 15% or more on car insurance. Anybody else coming to this thing?What's your name?- Jeff. - Okay.My favorite part is your shower scene.Been hearing that a lot today.I even have a screen grab on my phone.Yep, there they are.Okay, let's keep it moving.Here you go.Should've punched that guy.Well, go ahead. He's right over there.Why do you do that? Can't you let me have my moment? - Hello. - Hi.I like your movies.- Thank you! - I saw both of them.I assume we're still talking about the movies,but after today, who knows.You think I could get a picture of us?Oh, sure.And, uh, could you be giving me a kiss?No. She cannot kiss...What is wrong with you people?!- Leonard... - No, no, no. It's not okay.- Who are you? - I'm her husband.No, you're not.I am.Yeah, he really is.No.It's got a rearview camera, there's a DVD player--oh, and check this out.It's like we're living in the future!Hey, show her the trunk! Show her the trunk!Imagine this: you've got the baby in one hand, groceries in the other, and you're thinking,"How am I gonna open this trunk?"I'm probably thinking, "Where's my husband,and why isn't he helping me?"You don't need my help when you can open the trunk with a simple kick of the foot.No, it's a gentle kick; you're doing it wrong.Here. Give me those.Uh, maybe it was more of a circle?It's weird that guy thought you were a couple.- Yes! - Yes!See?Easy.And look at all this cargo space.You know, we'll get the crib outand you can take it for a test-drive.I'm telling you, this van is gonna be...Oh, is it your back?Uh... yeah.Anyway, let's just get in and see if the GPScan take us to the nearest emergency room.So until Amy's apartment is fixed,she and I are living here together.I lived with my old girlfriend.She was a geologist, too.Things didn't work out?I came home from work one day and she had taken everything. I'm warning you,hide your good rocks.My sister's husband took all her things, too.Story at 11:00.Really, no one else is coming?Oh, this is it.You are the practice round.Practice round? For-for what?Uh, no. He-he just means thatyou were the first people we thought of.You know, exactly.We've never thrown a brunch before,and I wanted to work out all the kinks.So, I'm like a lab ratbefore your real friends come over?You see, your words sound reasonable,but your face looks angry.Help me out here. This is not where I shine.Stuart, you know you're one of our favorite people.Okay, now, see, you look sincere,but your words are completely false.I'm glad we did this test run.These brunches are wild!But how did you get her to go out with you?Well, she moved in across the hall.And he started to slowly wear me down.Like a river carves a canyon.Yeah, except the river kept showing me his Pokemon cards. Ready to go?Hang on. This guy's telling mehow he got the Serial Ape-ist girl to marry him.This guy?But he's wearing a change maker.I think it's hot.That's right.I'm her change daddy.What was I thinking?Wolowitzes are not a lifting people!We tip the lifting people!Do we really have to sit for hours in the emergency room? They're just gonna give you ice and Advil like last time. You're gonna feel terrible when I'm in a wheelchair. Which, by the way, would fit easily in the backof this award-winning minivan.Fine, we'll go to the E.R.Just stop selling me on the van.You're right. It sells itself.You have to admit, it's a pretty smooth ride.I was hoping it'd be quieter.If childbirth is half this bad,you are so screwed!- Are we there yet?! - Soon.Why is it taking so long?!H-Howard, Howard, look at the DVD screen.I put on Batman: The Animated Series. Your favorite! I'm in too much pain to watch cartoo...Oh! This is a good one.I've been babysitting him way longer than you have. Fine. I'll buy the stupid van.This is the best blintz I've ever had.Oh. Thank you.It almost makes up for the incredibly awkward turn things took earlier.You know what, I-I think I'm just gonna go.No, Stuart, don't.No, I-I consider you and Sheldon like my family, and I'm not even sure you think of me as a friend. You have any idea how that feels?We're so sorry.I'm always the last one anybody thinks of.Well, no, that's not true.I mean, sometimes it's Koothrappali.But we're not supposed to say that'cause he's a minority.Bye.Stuart, wait.I do know what it feels like to be left out.I know how it feels, too.All right, this is about me and him; you're not part of it. Stuart, perhaps we do take you for granted,and that is not acceptable.Please know that you truly are a valuable memberof our social group.Thank you.You know, in fact, I'd like to propose a toast.To Stuart.A fine man,a good friend and a wonderful guest.- Hear, hear. - Cheers.Cheers. Filmed before a live studio audience.And that is how a short asthmatic scientistlanded a stone cold fox.I didn't know you can propose to the same personso many times.The third time, I did it in skywriting,but she never looked up.You know, once, I proposed to him.Yeah. I said no.Why?I just wanted to make her work for it.Yeah, that's gonna cost you later.Hang on. Is she just with you because you're rich?She makes more money than I do!What?! Who are you?!Do you know what else I love about you?Y-Your handwriting is impeccable!Thank you for noticing!No, I mean it. I mean it.It's like you have the soul of a label maker.You know what I love about you? Hmm?You never leave the house without a paper clip!You never know when two pieces of papermight temporarily need fastening in the top left corner.I also love how you never use swear words.You know, it turns out,you can hurt people just as well without 'em.Maybe I can get a little help putting some of this stuff away. Oh, calm down.I already put away five of these!You see?No muss, no fuss, not a single cuss.。

Previously on count The Big Bang Theory... 《生活大爆炸》前情提要Uh, we sort of have another reason for asking you here. 我们邀请你们来其实还有其他原因We want to have a baby, 我们想要个孩子but we can't do it on our own. 但我们自己没法生Okay, whoa, whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa. 等一下等一下等一下Yeah, this has been such a nice evening. 今晚很愉快Let's all just stop before anyone says any more things. 我们在有人说出更多话之前结束吧Leonard, would you be the father of our baby? 莱纳德你愿意当我们小孩的父亲吗Oh, you said a thing. 你开口说话了Oh, you said a thing. 时至今日Thank you, guys, again for agreeing to do this. 再次谢谢你们愿意答应这件事Yeah, it means so much to us. 对我们来说意义十分重大Ah, we're happy we can help. 我们也很高兴能帮上忙Yeah, and we don't find it weird at all. 而且我们完全不觉得有哪里怪It's a little weird for us, too. 我们也有一点点觉得怪啦I mean, instead of our baby looking like Zack, 毕竟我们的宝宝不会像扎克it's gonna look like Leonard. 而是会像莱纳德Or Penny if it's a girl. 如果是女孩会像佩妮No, no, it's not gonna look... 不不会像...Sure. 是啦But I promise, 但是我保证we're gonna be really good parents. 我们会是很好的父母Oh, we know you will. 我们知道-Yeah.所以下一步是什么呢-- So, what is the next step? - 是啊Well, Leonard, we were hoping you'd go in on Monday. 莱纳德我们希望你能周一去诊所Okay. 可以And they say, for the best results, 他们的人说 想要最好的结果between now and then, you shouldn't have sex. 现在到那时中间 你最好不要发生性关系 Sorry, bro, 抱歉啦 兄弟I know it seems impossible to go for five days without,我知道5天不"那个"仿佛是不可能的任务but I believe in you. 但我相信你能行Five days? My record is 24 years. 5天算个屁 我的最长记录是24年Uh, I think that also means no flying solo. 我想那也包含独自"驾驶飞机"Oh. 这样啊Then my record is 14 years. 那我的最长记录是14年And, well, we're really hoping for a son. 我们很希望有个儿子So just, like, keep that in mind when you're in there. 所以到时候记得脑子里多想着这件事 Yeah, just think, "little boys, little boys." 就一直想着"小男孩 小男孩"Still just totally not weird. 还是一点都不怪异呢Hello. 大家好Oh, hey, Sheldon. We're kind of in the middle of something. 谢尔顿 我们这有点事情在谈 Oh, I won't be a moment. I just need to grab a book 不会打扰太久 我就是来从书架高处 off a high shelf, which I can do 拿一本书 而这事我完全没问题because I am both tall and smart. 因为我本人又高又聪明Sheldon, come home! 谢尔顿 给我回家They don't want to have your baby! 人家才不要你的种I don't know what you're talking about. 我不知道你是在说什么鬼Oh-oh, dear, I think I got something in my eye. 妈呀 好像有东西跑到我的眼里了My piercing, blue eye. 是我犀利的蓝眼珠- Sheldon! 行-谢尔顿 -Fine. -I've also never had a cavity and I don't have asthma... 我也从没有过蛀牙 也没有犯过哮喘So, this week would have been my wedding 我的婚礼本来应该在这周进行if Anu and I hadn't decided to slow things down. 我是说如果安努跟我没决定要慢慢来的话Oh, yeah, I would have forgotten, 本来我估计也会忘了这事except for those nonrefundable airline tickets to India I bought.但我不能退钱的飞印度机票不停在提醒我I'm sorry. 对不起嘛No, no. What's $3,000 between friends? 没事与友情相比 3千块算什么呢Yeah, I probably would've just 反正那钱本来我估计thrown it away on health care for my children. 也就是浪费在我孩子的卫生保健上嘛Uh, if you still want to go, you can go to India 如果你还想去你可以飞去印度and help my dad eat all the nonrefundable sushi. 帮忙我老爸吃掉无法退钱的寿司啊Indian sushi? 印度寿司吗I need a change of underwear just thinking about that. 光想到我都感觉内裤上喷了屎得换了I really think we made the right decision. 我真觉得我与她的这决定是对的Agreed, although I did have 同意虽然我本来筹备好了a pretty awesome bachelor party planned for this weekend.在这周末举办一场永生难忘的单身汉派对Really? What was it? 真的吗有什么节目Well, I used my NASA connections 我动用了我太空总署的关系to get us four seats on that plane 弄到了4张能让人体验that lets you experience weightlessness. 失重状态的飞机机票The Vomit Comet. That is so cool. 呕吐彗星号吗太酷了吧包机价约是16万5千美金 15段失重体验的机票大概是5000美金一人I've always wanted to experience weightlessness. 我一直都很想体验失重状态The closest I ever came was that time 我人生中最接近失重的一次情况I accidentally set my scale to kilograms. 是我不小心把体重计从磅切成了公斤他大约是136磅也就是62公斤 1磅是0.45公斤根据拉杰演员的体重资料I know, it would've been fun, but, hey, 是啊本来应该会很好玩the next time you decide to marry a woman you barely know. 没事你下次要娶不太熟的女人时还有机会We could still go. 我们还是可以去啊You know, make it a guys' weekend. 就以好兄弟聚会的名义Yeah. All right, let's do it. 可以啊那我们就去吧Great. It'll be like the good old days. 很好就像我们以前的黄金岁月You mean when we were all sad, desperate and horribly alone?你是指我们一票人又衰又饥渴还单身到死吗I remember it more fondly. 我记忆的版本比较美好Leonard, if you had food on your face, 莱纳德如果你脸上沾到吃的would you want me to tell you? 你会希望我告诉你吗Where? Did I get it? 哪里我弄下来了吗Oh, no, not now; it was last week. 不是现在啦是上周有沾到过I didn't know whether or not to tell you, 我不知道到底该不该告诉你but everyone was staring. 但当时大家都在盯着你看For the record, it was right there. 我就说一下当时是这里沾到And it was Nutella. 沾到了榛果巧克力酱Thanks. 谢谢你全家啊You looked like a hazelnut Hitler. 你看起来像榛果希特勒Hey, who wants to hear some exciting news? 谁想听听一个大好消息啊Oh, what's up? 什么消息This weekend, I got us four seats on the Vomit Comet.我给大家搞到了4张这周末上呕吐彗星号的票Oh, you lost me at "vomit," You lost me again at "comet," "呕吐"就让我失去兴致"彗星"二字又再失一次and to be honest, I was on the fence at "us." 而且说实话你说到"大家"时我就犹豫了Yeah, I can't go either. Penny's dad is visiting from Nebraska, 我也去不了我岳父要从内布拉斯加来看我们and I haven't seen him for a while. 我也有好一段时间没跟他见面了Oh, that's nice you guys get along. 你们能相处得来挺好的I forget, Howard, does your father-in-law still hate you? 霍华德我有点忘了你岳父还恨你吗He doesn't hate me. 他才没有恨我He's just disappointed 他只是有些失望that I'm not any other man on the planet. 我不是这星球上任何一个别的男人Tht's how I feel about Ben Affleck as Batman. 我对本·阿弗莱克演的蝙蝠侠也是这感觉Tht's how I feel about Ben Affleck as Batman. 该知名演员所演的蝙蝠侠收到了颇多差评Well, these two are out. 这两个人不来There goes our guys' weekend. 好兄弟聚会周末也没戏唱了Okay, so let's make it a couples' weekend. 那就改成情侣周末怎么样I'll bring Anu, you bring Bernadette. 我带安努你带伯纳黛特I'm not sure Bernie would like it. 我不确定妮妮会不会喜欢Maybe I'll invite Stuart or Bert. 或许我可以邀请斯图尔特或伯特Oh, go with Bert! 邀请伯特吧He's huge. It'd be fun to watch him float around. 他很魁梧看他漂浮起来应该挺有意思Like that time the Underdog balloon 就像有一年梅西百货感恩节游行got away at the Macy's Parade. 游行中的其中一个造型大气球飘走了一样Hey. What are those? 那些是什么啊Oh, vitamins. 维他命Zack wants me to take them to increase my virility. 扎克想要我吃这些来提升生殖力Zack used the word "virility"? 扎克用了"生殖力"这词吗He may have said "wiener power." 他可能用的词是"鸡鸡力"Okay, that's my dad. 我爸到了Now, remember, do not bring up any baby stuff, all right? 记得千万别提任何宝宝的事情Not me not wanting one, not you having one with Zack. 别提我不想要孩子也别提你要帮扎克生-懂了And if he brings it up, change the subject-- Got it. - 如果他提起就换话题- to literally anything else. - I got it. -换任何话题都行 -懂了But not the Cornhuskers. Do not discuss the Cornhuskers. 但别提剥玉米人绝对别聊剥玉米人Is that a sports team? 那是体育队伍[当地橄榄球队]吗Never mind, you're good. 没事了你没问题- Daddy! - Hi. Hey, Slugger. -老爸 -你好啊小宝贝-你好啊怀Leonard.- Hey, Wyatt. - 莱纳德-亚特Hey, that's a hell of a handshake. 握手很有力呢Ah, well, you know, I've been taking vitamins. 你懂的我最近有在吃维他命Dad, uh, come on in, sit down. 老爸进来坐下吧Can I get you something to drink? Maybe a beer? 要喝什么吗给你来瓶啤酒吗- Sure, if you're having one. - Okay. -没问题你喝我就喝 -行And why wouldn't you, since you're not pregnant? 你怎么会不喝呢你又没怀孕Leonard wants to have a baby with my ex-boyfriend Zack. 莱纳德想帮我前任扎克生孩子How 'bout those Cornhuskers? 剥玉米人队最近怎么样啦Hey, would you mind if Raj and I went away this weekend? 你介意我这周末跟拉杰出去玩吗Well, it is important for you two to keep the spark alive. 你们俩保持爱情的火花的确挺重要No, just the bachelor party I had planned. 不是啦只是我当时帮他筹办了单身汉派对I thought we'd do it anyway. 安都安排了就还是去玩嘛Oh, so a guys' weekend? 那就是男人周末啦Kinda. I mean, Sheldon and Leonard couldn't make it, 算是吧不过谢尔顿和莱纳德去不了so Raj invited Anu and I asked Stuart. 所以拉杰邀请了安努我叫上了斯图尔特Wait, you invited Stuart before me? 等等你先邀请斯图尔特而不是我吗Actually, I invited Bert before Stuart, 其实我在斯图尔特前先邀请了伯特but I don't know why I just told you that. 但我不知道自己为什么要告诉你Why didn't you invite me? 你为什么不邀请我Because I know you. 因为我了解你啊You don't want to float weightless in an airplane. 你才不想在飞机里失重漂浮呢What are you talking about? 你说什么蠢话啊I love doing crazy stuff like that. 我可喜欢做那种疯狂事了Bernie, you got sick from the teacup ride at Disneyland. 妮妮你上次玩迪士尼的旋转茶杯都不舒服Lots of people do. 很多人都会啊We were still in line. 我们当时还在排队还没开始玩呢So you don't want me to go? 所以你不想我去吗No, I want you to go if you're gonna have fun. 不我想你去啊只要你能玩得开心I don't want you to go if you're gonna be miserable 如果你到时一脸生无可恋扫了大家的兴and ruin it for everyone. 我就不想你去了Which is a long way of saying I want you to go! 我绕了那么一大圈就是要说我想你去啊I think this is going pretty good, huh? 我觉得进行得挺顺利的对吧Maybe for you. You threw me under the bus. 对你来说也许吧你把我丢出去当替死鬼Oh, I'm sorry. I panicked. He was judging me. 对不起我慌了嘛他当时在怼我Well, yeah, now he's judging me. 现在他把矛头指向我了I know. It worked. 我知道我的妙计见效了You two might want to talk louder or quieter. 你俩要么大声点要么小声点In high school, he could hear me open a can of beer 上高中那会我躲衣橱用毯子蒙头开啤酒in my closet under a blanket. 他都能听见So let me get this straight, Leonard. 我把情况捋一捋莱纳德She doesn't want to have your baby, 她不想给你生孩子but her dumbbell ex-boyfriend does. 但她的傻蛋前男友想要你的孩子Well, I-- no, I wouldn't say it like that. 我... 不我是不会这么说啦How would you say it? 那你会怎么说Uh, same words, just less angry. 句子一样只是没那么大怒气Well, I don't know about Los Angeles, 我不知道洛杉矶这里怎么样but in Nebraska, that's kind of strange. 但在内布拉斯加这种事挺奇怪的It's strange here, too, and we have a bakery for dogs. 在这里也很奇怪这里还有给狗去的面包店呢And you're okay with this? 你对这事没意见吗Thank you.---- I support my husband. 谢谢你我支持我的丈夫But, you know, if you think differently, 但如果你有异议you should feel free to say so. 你应该直接说出来的You know, just like, "Ah!" Make a scene. 大吼大叫掀翻屋顶那样Okay, look, they can't have kids of their own, 听我说他们自己生不出小孩and they like that I'm smart, 他们喜欢我很聪明这一点and they want that for their child. 于是希望自己孩子能有这个优点No, I get it. 不我懂You do? 你懂Sure. 当然Back on the farm, we had a prize stallion. 以前在农场我们有一匹获奖骏马We didn't let that just go to waste; we put him out to stud. 我们可没浪费它的优秀基因让它疯狂交配播种No, no, this is... this is a little different than that... 不不这事这事有点不一样No, no, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. 不等等等等Uh, you were comparing me to a prize stud. Go on. 你刚把我比作一匹得奖骏马继续You have fun with your new best buddy? 你跟你的新死党玩得开心吗Hey, it's your fault your dad likes me. 你爸喜欢我都是你的错You dated idiots your whole life. 谁让你以前交往的都是蠢蛋Well, he was right about one thing. 他倒是说对了一件事I am married to a stud. 我嫁给了一匹种马Mm. Really? 真的吗Yeah, I felt so bad about selling you out, 真的我为出卖了你感到很内疚I thought I would maybe make it up to you. 我想好好补偿你Wait, wait. I can't. 等一下不行I mean, I want to, 我是很想啦but I'm not supposed to for the next three days. 但我接下来三天都不应该"做"Oh. That's right. I forgot. 对哦我忘了All right, well, guess I'll just read a little 好吧那我只好看点书and then-- I don't know-- go to sleep. 然后我也不知道去睡觉好了Really? That's what you're sleeping in? 真的吗你就穿这身睡觉Oh, you want me to take it off? 你希望我脱掉吗No. 不All right. Well, then pipe down and let me read my comic book. 好吧那你闭嘴关"鸡" 让我安静看漫画吧Penny, I-I know what you're doing. 佩妮我知道你在干什么Just please stop. 拜托你停止吧Ooh, listen to this. 快听听这个"Bam." "砰""Pow." "嘭""Take that, Batman." "接招吧蝙蝠侠"Thanks again for doing this, guys. 谢谢你们为我安排了这个--So excited.不客气-- Of course. 我很期待I'm glad you came. 你也来了真好Howard made it sound like this wasn't your kind of thing. 听霍华德之前的语气这好像不是你的菜He did say that, but here I am. 他是那么说了但我来了So what does he know? 所以他知道个屁I'm sorry. I just... 抱歉我只是didn't think you'd enjoy plummeting to the Earth 以为你不会喜欢以时速643公里的速度at 400 miles an hour. 垂直栽下地球I love going fast, 我很喜欢高速unlike Grandma here, 不像这位老奶奶poking along at 70 miles an hour. 开车时速才112公里像蜗牛爬Am I right? 对不对I've always wanted to do this. 我一直都想玩这个I'm an adrenaline junkie. 我对肾上腺素有毒瘾Roller coasters, snowboarding, 过山车单板滑雪dating men who bathe with their dogs. 跟和自家狗狗一起洗澡的男人约会It was during a drought. 那时干旱缺水嘛I'm a thrill-seeker, too. 我也喜欢寻求刺激I've had to pull back since I became a mom, 当妈之后我不得不有所收敛but I'll still jump on the back of a grocery cart 但我还是会跳上超市购物车and just roll through the meat section. 一路风驰电掣滑过肉类区And I'm married to her, 而我娶了这位英雌which is quite the ride. 所以我的人生也是充满刺激Amy? 艾米There's something out here. 客厅里有个东西Just trap it under a cup, 用杯子把它罩住and I'll be there in a minute. 我马上就来I'll try, but it's Leonard. 我尽力试试不过那是莱纳德What? 什么Well, what is he doing here? 他怎么会在我们家I told you, if we left pizza on the counter, 我说过了把披萨留在料理台上we'd attract something. 就会引来其他生物Oh, hey, guys. 早啊两位Sorry. I used my key. 抱歉我用我钥匙进来的I just needed a place to crash. 我需要找个地方借住Is everything okay? 没出什么事吧Yeah, I... 没事我...had to get out of the apartment. 必须离开自家公寓My wife kept trying to have sex with me. 我妻子一直想跟我上床Been there. 我也经历过Why are you trying to avoid having sex? 你为什么不想上床Well, we just did it three weeks ago. 我们三周前才做过啊I was talking to Leonard! 我是在问莱纳德Well, I-I have to go to the clinic 我周一得去诊所for Zack and Marissa on Monday, 给扎克和玛丽莎提供"材料"and I'm supposed to save myself until then. 在那之前我应该保存"精"力Sounds like maybe Penny's not totally on board with that plan.听起来佩妮也许并不完全同意这个计划Well, she said she was. 她说她同意的But she also said I looked dope. 但她也说过我看起来酷到炸裂Honestly, I don't even think I looked fly. 老实说我觉得自己连酷毙都算不上So you're willing to go through with this, 这么说即使她对这事持保留意见even though she clearly has reservations? 你还是执意去做吗If she has a problem, 如果她有不满she should say something. 她应该说出来的She tried to seduce you. 她都试图勾引你上床了If that's not a cry for help, 如果那不是求助的呐喊I don't know what is. 我都不知道是什么了Penny doesn't want to have kids. 佩妮不想生孩子I respect that. 我尊重这一点But this is my chance to leave a part of me behind. 但这是我留下自己血脉的机会Okay, but this isn't gonna make you a dad. 好吧但这不会让你成为父亲It's gonna be their baby, not yours. 那会是他们的孩子不是你的Although, someday, 不过有一天if that kid wants to know why he's short, 如果那孩子想知道自己为什么个子矮nearsighted, and asthmatic... 近视还有哮喘...he may hunt you down. 他可能会来找你Are you guys ready for the most intense experience of your life?你们准备好迎接这辈子最激烈的体验了吗- Yes. - Definitely. -是的 -当然Not to brag, but I'm an astronaut, 不是吹牛但我是宇航员so I've been weightless before. 以前体验过失重Can be pretty scary. 那可是相当可怕Please, I'm, like, 90 pounds. 拜托我才40公斤I'm weightless every time I hold more than three balloons.每次拿着三个以上气球就能体验失重Okay, I just need you guys to sign these waivers, 好的我只是需要你们签免责书and then you can go get changed. 然后就可以换衣服了There are a lot of pages here. 好多页啊Is this a waiver or a screenplay you've been working on? 这是免责书还是你写的剧本I'm sure it's just boilerplate. 我相信只是标准版本Absolutely. It's to protect us in case of injury. 当然只是在你们万一受伤的情况下我们能免责It says, "or death." 上面写着"或死亡"Which is awesome. 那就太屌啦- Done. - Where are the changing rooms? -签好了 -更衣室在哪里Dressing rooms are in the back. 更衣室在后面No peeking. 不准偷看Here you go. 给你Okay. Should we go get changed? 好了要去换衣服吗Yeah. Hang on a second. 是稍等What? 怎么了Just-- I have two babies at home. 我家里有两个孩子What am I doing? 我在干嘛If you don't want to do this, 如果你不想要玩then why'd you come? 为什么要来To prove to Howard that he doesn't know me as well 向霍华德证明他并不像他以为的as he thinks he does. 那样了解我Looks like he does. 看来他很了解Unless I do it and then he doesn't. 除非我做到了那他就不了解我Why not just be honest? 为什么不说实话呢You're right. 你是对的I should be honest. 我应该说实话You owe me $3,000 for those plane tickets to India! 你欠我3千块去印度的机票钱That was a long run. 你去跑了好久Yeah. Well, I was in the zone. 是啊我本来专心在跑You know, and then in a diner 然后去了小餐馆and then in a massage chair at the mall where I fell asleep. 然后是商场里的按摩椅结果我睡着了Are you avoiding me? 你在避开我吗Well, I took a nap next to Hot Dog on a Stick. 我在热狗店旁边小睡了一会儿What do you think? 你觉得呢I think you're mad at me and Leonard, 我觉得你是气我和莱纳德but maybe... you're really mad at yourself. 但也许你是生你自己的气Why would I be mad at myself? 我为什么生自己的气'Cause you regret this "No baby" plan of yours. 因为你后悔你不要孩子的计划You know, it's pretty crappy of you 你这样真是太讨厌了to make me feel bad about this. 让我觉得难受I'm not trying to make you feel bad. 我不是想让你难受But... do you? 但是你难受吗Yes. 是的I feel like I'm letting everybody down. 我觉得自己让所有人失望了Hate disappointing Leonard, 我讨厌让莱纳德失望but I really hate disappointing you. 但我真心讨厌让你失望Oh, Slugger, you could never disappoint me. 孩子你永远不会让我失望Okay, your high school years were a little rough. 好吧你高中那几年我比较难熬And I'm sorry about that. 我很抱歉There was you sneaking out at night 你晚上偷偷溜出去and your boyfriends sneaking out in the morning. 你男友早上偷偷溜出去I said sorry. 我道歉了That time you got drunk and stole a horse. 还有一次你喝醉了偷了一匹马Yeah. 是I was there. I remember. 我在场我记得Parts of it. 部分记得But besides all that, 但除开这些being your dad is the best thing ever happened to me. 做你父亲是我人生中最幸福的事What about Randall and Lisa? 那么兰德尔和丽莎呢They're okay. 他们还行I just don't want you to miss out. 我只是不希望你错过什么I know. 我知道But if this is really what you want-- 但如果这是你真心想要的or don't want-- 或不要的I'm on your side. 我支持你Thanks. 谢谢Uh, Wyatt, we need to talk. 怀亚特我们得谈谈Sure. What's up? 好什么事I want you to back off. 我希望你别插手You know? I-If Penny and I don't have kids, that's between us. 如果佩妮和我不要孩子那是我们的事So you need to stay out of it. 所以你不要插手Oh, Leonard, it's okay. We talked. We're good. 莱纳德没事了我们谈过了没事了Okay, you could've stopped me sooner. 你可以早点让我闭嘴Could've let you go longer. 也可以让你继续说下去You did great, Leonard. Very forceful. 表现不错莱纳德很有力度Yeah? 是吗I-I-I felt like my voice was a little shaky there. 我觉得我刚才声音有点抖Hey, I decided to not go through 我决定不帮with this Zack and Marissa thing. 扎克和玛丽萨了Really? 真的吗但你那么期待I know.--- But you were so excited about it. - 我知道But, um... 但是I think I was just fooling myself. 我觉得我只是在骗自己I-I would be heartbroken if I had a kid out there 如果外面有我的孩子而我不是他的父亲and I wasn't his dad. 我会伤心死的I know you would. 我知道你会的Yeah. 是的So, that thing you wanted to do last night, 昨晚你想做的事I'm available. 我现在能做了I got real good hearing there, stud. 我的听力非常好种马All right, everyone's suited up. 好了大家换好衣服了Let's head out to the tarmac! 我们去跑道Actually, one second. 稍等Howie, I don't think I should do this. 华仔我不应该这样做Really? 是吗Well, I did not see that coming. 我完全没想到会是这样Just-- We have kids, 只是我们有孩子and it's not smart to put us both in danger. 我们两人同时面对危险不明智That's a good point. 有道理When I was little, my parents never flew together. 我小时候父母从来不一起坐飞机We thought it was because they loved us, 原以为那是因为他们爱我们but it turns out they hated each other. 结果是因为他们憎恨彼此See? 瞧I just think I shouldn't go. 我觉得我不应该去Actually, this is much safer than driving a car. 其实这比开车还要安全Stay out of it, flyboy! 滚一边儿去飞行员You're right. 你说得对But I've done this before. 我以前体验过And since you really, really want to go, 既然你这么这么想去I'll stay here. 我留在这里Oh. Great. 很好Unless you don't want to because I was right and I do know you. 除非你不想去那我就是对的我了解你Well, if you really know me, 如果你真了解我then you know how far I'll go to prove a point. 你会知道我为了证明一件事能有多拼Apparently, 34,000 feet that way, then straight back down,能拼到飞上3万4千英尺的程度再直接冲下来up and down, over and over again 不停地上上下下until you throw up food you didn't even eat. 直到你把没吃的东西吐出来They are definitely your weirdest friends. 他们绝对是你最奇怪的朋友If only that were true. 要是真这样就好了I hate this so much! 我恨死这个了Why am I doing this?! 我为什么要这样做To prove a stupid point to your husband! 为了向你老公证明一个愚蠢的观点Oh, right. Worth it. 对值了Hey, Zack. 扎克Um, look, I-I know this is gonna be disappointing, 听我说我知道你会失望but, um, I-I can't do this. 但我做不到No, no, no, no. 不不不I-I, I know how. I just can't. 我知道怎么"做" 就是做不到But, hey, look, 但是i-if you like, 如果你愿意I-I know someone who might be interested. 我知道谁可能有兴趣No! Absolutely not! 不绝对不行I'm sorry, but my wife said I'm not allowed. 对不起我老婆不准我这样做。

Previously on The Big Bang Theory. 《生活大爆炸》前情提要Hello. 您好I'm looking for Howard Wolowitz. 我来找霍华德·沃罗威茨May I ask what this is about? 我能问一下你找他有什么事吗No, you may not. 不能问Very well. 是的官爷Hi, Colonel Williams, how can I help you? 威廉姆斯上校有什么需要我效劳的吗Okay, sure, I can meet with you on Thursday. 当然周四见面没问题Caltech is fine. 约加州理工学院也没问题Yeah, and may I ask what this is about? 好我能问问是什么事吗I may not? 不能啊That's what he said to me. 他也是这么对我说的That's what he said to me. 时至今日Look at this. 瞧瞧Elon Musk has a theory that we're all just characters 埃隆·马斯克有个理论我们每个人in some advanced civilization's video game. 都只是某高等文明的电玩游戏中的角色So some alien kid spent his money 所以有某个外星小孩花钱on the asthma-and-glasses upgrade for me? 来帮我升了气喘加近视眼的特性吗Well, he doesn't say it's a good game. 他没说是个好游戏啊- All right, we got a problem. - What's up? -咱们有麻烦了 -怎么了The Air Force contacted me about our quantum gyroscope. 空军对我们的量子陀螺仪有兴趣- They want to have a meeting. - Really? -他们想见面谈谈 -真的吗Yeah. This military guy showed up at Howard's door. 对啊有个军队的人来到霍华德家找他He was terrifying. 他可吓人了Oh, what did he say? 他说什么了He gave me his business card 他给了我他的名片and asked me to please pass it along to Howard. 然后请我把名片转交给霍华德That doesn't sound terrifying. 这听起来不吓人啊To a white guy born here, no. 土生土长的美国白人当然不觉得If you are a brown guy whose name has a lot of syllables in it -- 但如果你是棕色皮肤名字带很多音节的话terrifying. 胆都吓破了好吗You realize if the military declares our research classified,你知道如果军方宣称我们的研究属于机密they can take the whole thing away from us. 他们可以直接把整个研究拿走吧And if that happens, 如果真发生这种事we'll never be able to sell it commercially. 我们就永远不能卖做商用了There goes our big payday. 就跟这一大笔钱说再见了I was counting on that money-- 我还指望拿到这笔钱呢I need to make as much as my wife 我的收入得跟我老婆持平so I don't have to try so hard in bed. 这样我在床上才不用这么拼死拼活You do that, too? 你也要这样吗Oh, yeah. How do you think I stay this thin? 当然不然你觉得我怎么保持这么瘦的Gentlemen, I think we are losing sight of the real issue. 先生们我们都忽视了真正的问题We are on the precipice of becoming faceless cogs 我们离成为军工业集合体中in the military-industrial complex. 无名无姓的小齿轮只有一步之遥了Isn't that exciting? 这难道不让人激动吗You're kidding, right? 你是在开玩笑吧Not at all. In Star Wars, when the stormtroopers 才不是呢像《星球大战》中那些风暴兵would march in perfect formation, 以完美的队形行军harassing civilians, didn't you ever think, 前往骚扰民众时你难道没有想过"Hey, that could be me"? "我也能成为这伟大军团的一员"吗Sheldon, we could be contributing 谢尔顿我们可能成为to a weapons system that oppresses mankind 未来几千年迫害人类的武器系统的for the next thousand years. 幕后元凶呢Okay, Howard's on board. What do you think, Leonard? 好的霍华德同意加入你呢莱纳德I'm worried about Howard. 我好担心霍华德啊Ever since that guy from the Air Force showed up, 打从军队的人来家里找他后he's been a nervous wreck. 他就被吓到尿不停All right, we work at a giant pharmaceutical company. 我们在一个大型制药公司上班Get him some anti-anxiety meds. 给他搞几片抗忧郁药吃吃啊He won't take any pills that aren't chewable 他不愿意吃除了摩登原始人咀嚼维生素片and shaped like a Flintstone. 以外的任何药物You know, when Leonard's feeling anxious 每当莱纳德感到焦虑的时候I make him take a long walk. 我就让他散步久一点Does that help? 这招有效吗Well, for a while. Then he comes back. 有效时间就一会儿然后这烦人精就回来了- I don't believe this. - What's wrong? -真是不敢相信 -怎么了This guy from the office just congratulated me on being pregnant.有个男同事发消息来恭喜我怀孕了You did already know, right? 你本来知道自己怀了孕的对吧No one at the office did. 但是同事都不知道啊- Did you tell anyone? - No. -你有告诉任何人吗 -没有You told me not to. 你不让我跟别人说I bet it was Barbara Chen in retrovirus. 肯定是搞逆转录病毒的芭芭拉·陈传出去的She might have heard me throwing up one morning. 她貌似某天早上有听到我在孕吐Every since she got the hearing aid, she thinks she's so great. 自从她装助听器后她就觉得自己可牛逼了Why don't you want anyone to know? 你为什么不想别人知道呢'Cause I'm up for a major immunotherapy study, 因为我有机会做一个免疫疗法研究的大项目and if they find out I'm pregnant 如果他们发现我怀孕了they might give it to someone else. 可能就会把机会给别人了Would they really do that? 他们真的会这样吗I know they would-- they did it to Barbara Chen last year 肯定会啊去年芭芭拉就是这么被换掉when I told everyone she was pregnant. 因为我爆料说她怀孕了Wait till I Snapchat that my friends might be working 我要发条朋友圈说我的好朋友们on a top secret government project. 为政府的机密项目做事Are you crazy? 你是不是疯了You can't put that on Snapchat. 你怎么能把这事写到朋友圈Fine, I'll put it on Facebook like a caveman. 好吧那我写到过时几百万年的脸书上吧You know, maybe before our meeting we should talk to a lawyer. 或许应该在会面前找个律师谈谈That's not a bad idea. 这主意不差Well, you must have someone in your family that's a lawyer. 你家族里肯定有人是律师吧Why? Because I'm Jewish? 为啥就因为我是犹太人吗That's like me saying, "Hey, you're Indian. 这就跟我说 "你是印度人Doesn't your cousin work in a call center?" 你肯定有亲戚在电话客服中心工作吧"My cousin does work in a call center. 我还真有亲戚在电话客服中心工作And my cousin's a lawyer. 我也真有亲戚是律师We don't need Howard's cousin, no. 我们不需要霍华德的亲戚帮忙We have me. 咱们有我啊You're not a lawyer, Sheldon, you're just a know-it-all. 谢尔顿你不是律师你只是爱耍聪明I am not a know-it-all. 我才不是耍聪明I'm a person who knows lots of things 我只是个上知天文下知地理and likes to correct other people when they're wrong. 还喜欢在别人犯错时热心纠正他们的人That's the definition of being a know-it-all. 这就是所谓爱耍聪明的人啊Or in German, a Besserwisser. 或是德文里的"砖家"How did you think you were gonna hide your pregnancy?你怎么能觉得你能瞒住你怀孕的事实I had a plan-- I kept leaving Dove Bar wrappers around 我有整套计划我一直有四处留下巧克力棒包装to explain any weight gain. 来解释我为什么发福了Where did you get empty Dove Bar wrappers? 那你是上哪去弄的空巧克力棒包装纸From all the Dove Bars I ate! I'm pregnant! 当然是我吃完故意留的包装啊老娘怀孕了Try to keep up! 用点脑想想好吗I'm sorry. I-I have to go find out if my boss knows. 抱歉我得去看看我老板发现没Well, whatever happens, we're here for you. 无论如何我们都会支持你Thanks. You guys are the best. 谢谢你们最好了Yeah, drive safe. We love you. And give us a call... 开车小心我们爱你到了打电话... Oh, my God, it was me, it was me! 要死了是我是我传的I'm the one who blabbed she was pregnant! 是我大嘴巴告诉别人她怀孕的- What?! - I didn't mean to. -什么 -我不是故意的It just slipped out in front of her assistant one day. 就有天不小心跟她的助手说溜嘴了I... I forgot my coat. 忘了拿外套Oh! Here's your coat, honey. 来亲爱的外套拿去That's such a cute jacket. 这外套太萌了God, I feel so bad-- I just lied to her. 天啊我好内疚我又骗了她Oh, but you did it so well. 但你演技入木三分That's amazing! 真是太厉害了It's like watching a sculptor, 感觉像在看一个雕塑大师but your clay was lies. 但你用的材料是谎言Is that really what's important right now? 现在的重点难道该是挖苦我吗I mean, seriously, you have got to let me scan your brain 我是说认真的你得让我扫描你大脑when you're being dishonest so I can see what lights up. 看看你撒谎时哪些区域会亮起That's super helpful, Amy. 你这席话我受益良多Thanks a lot. I can't wait to do that. 谢谢你全家啊真想立刻让你扫描I can see a clump of bitch cells lightin' up from here. 我从这里就能看到一团臭三八细胞亮起Give me a second to call my cousin. 等我一会我打给我律师亲戚I don't see how a tax lawyer from Fort Lauderdale 我想不出远在佛州劳德代尔堡的税务律师could be helpful regarding intellectual property. 怎么能对知识财产权方面提出有用建议First of all, he's in Boca Raton, 首先他是在佛州的博卡拉顿which is better than Fort Lauderdale. 那里比劳德代尔堡上档次多了But more importantly, 更重要的是he lasted two days on Jeopardy, 他上益智游戏节目撑了两天没被淘汰so he's clearly a smart guy. 很明显他就是个聪明人Hello. 你好Hey, Marty. Thanks for talking to us. 马蒂谢谢你愿意跟我们聊啊Hey, no problem. 小事一桩Thanks for going to outer space so no matter what I do 真是"感谢"你上了太空这下无论我干啥my mom will be disappointed in me. 我妈都会对我感到失望Well, I married a little Catholic girl, so we're even. 但我没娶信犹太教的老婆也算扯平了Anyway, this is Leonard and Sheldon. 这位是莱纳德这位是谢尔顿The three of us came up with the guidance system. 我们三个一起想出了这个导向系统- Hi. - Hello. -你好 -你好And this is my friend, Raj. 而这位是我的朋友拉杰Oh, I'm not on the patent. I'm just here 专利跟我无关我在这里because there's a bumblebee in my office. 是因为我办公室里有只大黄蜂I saw it. It's big. 我有看到真的很大只Anyway, like I said in the e-mail, 总之呢如同我电邮里所说this meeting's on Thursday. 见面定在这周四Do you have any advice for us? 你有什么建议可以给我们吗Well, I don't know much about patent law. 我对专利法了解不多But, uh, my advice is: 但我的建议是hear them out, offer as little information as possible, 听听他们怎么说有关信息尽量少说and whatever you do, don't sign anything. 无论如何绝对别签任何东西"Don't sign anything"? That's your advice? "别签任何东西" 这就是你的建议吗Okay, so, uh, if during this meeting, 好吧所以如果在会面中one of us were to, say, complete an oil painting, 我们其中一个人画了一幅油画之类的you'd recommend that we leave that unsigned? 你是在建议我们不要在上面签上名吗That's not what I meant. 我不是这个意思That's what you said. 你话就是这么说的That's not what I meant. 但我不是这个意思This must be how you practice law in Boca Raton, 你就在博卡拉顿这么当律师的吗by saying things you don't mean 说着词不达意and meaning things you don't say. 言不由衷的话Howard, why is he yelling at me? 霍华德他为啥要对我嚷嚷All right, you were on Jeopardy. 好吧你上过益智节目Allow me to Alex Trebek 让我学学主持人this and put it in the form of a question: 并把这件事用节目上的问题形式表达Who has been a complete waste of our time? 在座是哪个垃圾在浪费我们的时间呢Marty, let me call you back. 马蒂晚点打给你Someday, when I'm up on murder charges, 某天我因为谋杀"某人"被控诉时you'll be hearing from me. 我会打给你You don't need him. I'll represent you. 不用找他我来当你律师- Hi. - Hey. What brings you by? -我来啦 -你怎么来了Oh, had to go to a sales seminar on our new sleeping pill.去参加我们新款安眠药的销售研讨会了- Oh. How was it? - Great. -研讨会如何 -很棒啊- Fell asleep? - In, like, two minutes. Yeah. -睡着了吗 -开场两分钟就睡着了吧So, how is everything going around here? 一切情况还好吗Are you still upset about people finding out you're pregnant?还在为大家发现你怀孕这事不开心吗I'm furious. 我真要气炸了Sure, sure. 当然肯定的Uh, did you ever figure out who told? 你查清楚是谁说出去的吗No. I confronted Barbara Chen, but she claimed 没我去找芭芭拉·陈对质了但她说she didn't know what I was talking about. 她完全不知道我在说什么Well, I guess it's just gonna remain a mystery, 看来这事只能是未知的谜团了you know, like whatever happened in that seminar 就像研讨会把灯调暗后发生的事after they dimmed the lights. 对我也是未知的谜团It had to be Barbara. 绝对是芭芭拉I've been trying to figure out a way to get back at her. 我刚就一直在想办法报复她Do you think using her work computer to Google 你觉得用她工作用的电脑上网搜"How to be a prostitute" is over the line? "怎么下海当鸡"会太过分吗Uh, you know, when I was in high school, 其实呢在我高中的时候there was this girl who was talking about me behind my back, 有个姑娘在我背后说我坏话so me and all my friends, 所以我跟我朋友们we cornered her in the bathroom and forgave her. 把她围在厕所的角落然后原谅了她What kind of revenge is that? 这算哪门子的报仇啊This woman screwed with my job. She's got to pay. 这臭娘们破坏我工作我得整死她Okay, all right, honey, you know what? 好吧亲爱的其实呢There was something I was too scared to tell you yesterday, 我有一件昨天没胆跟你说的事a-and now... I'm just balls-out terrified to tell you, but... 而现在我还是怕得要死不敢告诉你其实...the truth is it... 真相是...wasn't Barbara Chen, it was me. 大嘴巴的不是芭芭拉是我I'm the reason everyone knows. 是我让大家都知道的Why did you do that? 你为什么要这么做Well, it was an accident. I am so sorry I lied. 不小心说漏嘴嘛很抱歉我撒谎了Get out. 出去Oh, you know, I also lied about the girl in the bathroom. 对了厕所女同学的事我也撒谎了Yeah, we actually dumped her retainer in the toilet 是的我们其实把她的牙套保持器扔进了马桶and put it back in her mouth. 然后又塞回她的嘴里I don't understand why I can't talk at this meeting. 我不懂为什么会面时我不能说话'Cause when you talk, it enrages people. 因为你一开口就会激怒别人Okay. 好吧Quick question. 快问快答Am I allowed to exchange pleasantries 我能跟这位上校upon meeting this colonel? 在会上寒暄一下吗Yes. 准了Am I allowed to inform him 那我能告诉他that Colonel Sanders was never actually in the military? 桑德斯上校并不是真正军队出身的吗that Colonel Sanders was never actually in the military? 肯德基创始人上校称号是肯塔基州给他的荣誉称号I'm getting enraged. 你正在激怒我Fine. 好吧Can I use text-to-speech software? 我能用文字转语音软件吗- No! - Don't speak. -不行 -就不要说话Aw, nuts. 啊哇靠Gentlemen! 男士们I'm Colonel Williams. 我是威廉姆斯上校Thank you for meeting with me. 感谢抽空与我见面- Hi. - Hello. -你好 -你好So, which one of you is the brains behind all this? 你们中的哪一位是这个项目的主要设计者It's a group effort, 这是大家共同努力的结果but I guess if we had to pick a main brain, it would be me. 但如果非得选一个主力那应该是我吧And because of the quantum vortices, 因为量子涡旋this can run perpetually? 这玩意就具有永动性吗Exactly. 完全正确Yeah, you have a good grasp of the physics. 看来你很懂物理嘛- Well, I'm a scientist by training. - Really? -我是被培训出来的科学家 -是吗You're a physicist? 你是物理学家吗Better. I'm an engineer. 比那强我是工程师Where did you go to school? 你是哪里毕业的MIT. 麻省理工Oh. Well, hey, me, too. 真巧我也是I should have known. 我早该知道Behind every great invention is an MIT mind.每一项伟大的发明背后都有我们校友的智慧结晶I'll cut to the chase. 我就不兜圈子了The Air Force believes there's an application for this technology,美国空军想将这项技术投入到实际应用中and we're interested in funding your research. 我们有兴趣投资你们的研究Well, thanks, but you should know 多谢赏识但你要知道we're a little concerned about this being used in weapons.我们有点担心这项技术会被用到武器上Oh, well, let me put your mind at ease. 这样啊让我来放宽你心What we use it for is none of your business. 我们拿来干什么关你们屁事I don't know how I feel about this. 我不知道该对此作何感想Look, guys, it's just a guidance system. 伙计们这只是一个导向系统It's not like you're handing us 别想得好像你们交给我们的是the Death Star from Star Trek. 《星际迷航》的终极武器死星All you need to worry about is, 你们唯一需要顾虑的是right now, it's this big, 现在它这么大and we need it to be... this big. 我们需要它变得...这么点大That's a lot less big. 那要大大减小很多啊Yes, it's... this much less big. 没错减小的程度有这么大I'm not even sure that's possible. 我都不确定可不可行Well, I ran it by some colleagues at MIT, 我问过几个麻省理工的同事and they thought they could get it done in four months. 他们认为四个月就能搞定- Four months? - Yeah, we'll do it in two! -四个月 -那我们两个月就能搞定Hi. I'm Dr. Sheldon Cooper. 你好我是谢尔顿·库珀博士I'm the actual brains behind this project. 我才是这个项目的主力设计者Also, engineers aren't real scientists, 还有工程师不是真正的科学家MIT's a trade school, 麻省理工是一所职业学院and the Death Star is from Star Wars, not Star Trek! 还有还有死星来自《星球大战》不是《星际迷航》But otherwise, 撇开那些不说thank you for your service. 感谢为国服役Howard told me you were working late, so I brought dinner. 霍华德跟我说你要加班所以我带了吃的来Oh, thanks. You know, I just wanted to get some work done 谢谢我只是想安静地工作without people congratulating me about the baby every five minutes.不用每五分钟就有人跑来恭喜我怀孕了I spent my day alone in the lab 我今天自己在实验室waiting for a rat to die of anthrax. 陪一只炭疽感染的老鼠等死Did you come here to bring me dinner or to gloat? 你是来给我送吃的还是来幸灾乐祸Well, I came to see how you were feeling, 我是来看看你心情好点没but I'm guessing still angry? 但我猜还在生气呢I'm sorry. 抱歉My boss wants to meet with me, and I'm stressing. 我老板要见我我现在压力山大You really think they're gonna start treating you differently?你真的认为他们会开始区别对待你吗Are you kidding? 开什么玩笑I've always been treated differently! 我向来都被人区别对待Look at me! Listen to me! 瞧我小体型听我的小尖嗓I mean, the first thought when you see me isn't, 你看见我脑子里永远不会首先想到"That's a scientist." "那是一位科学家"It's, "I wonder if her mommy knows where she is." 你只会想"希望她不要跟妈妈走丢"I am really regretting that I got you a Happy Meal. 我好后悔给你买了欢乐儿童餐I've worked so hard to get where I am, 我那么努力工作才坐上这个位置and I don't want to get sent back to square one 我不想因为怀孕because I'm pregnant. 就被打回原点I understand how you feel. 我懂你的感受Thank you. 谢谢I wish there were some way I could make it better. 真希望我能做些什么让你好过点Well, you brought me French fries. That's a start. 你给我买了薯条这是好的第一步Uh, actually, I got you apple slices 'cause you're pregnant. 其实我给你买了切片苹果因为你怀孕了嘛Apple slices? 切片苹果What kind of lunatic goes to McDonald's and gets fruit?! 哪个傻逼会去麦当劳买水果啊I'll be right back. 小的立马重新买And a chocolate shake! 老娘还要巧克力奶昔What are you doing? 你做什么呢Oh, Leonard's mad at me, so I'm making him lemon bars. 莱纳德生我气了我给他做柠檬方块呢Does he even like lemon bars? 他爱吃柠檬方块吗Not really. 不爱吃But I'm mad at him, too, so lemon bars it is. 但我也在生他的气所以就柠檬方块吧Something happen at the meeting? 会面时发生什么事了吗They made me promise I wouldn't talk. 他们逼我保证不说话- And you talked? - Well, now, see? -结果你说话了 -你看吧You knew what was gonna happen. 你都知道会发生什么事了Why didn't they? 他们怎么就不知道呢Anyway, now we're committed to completing this project总之现在我们承诺了要在极短的时间内in a ridiculously short time frame, 完成这个项目and everyone's upset with me. 大家都生我气了Well, if it makes you feel any better, 也许这能让你好过点Bernadette's mad at me, too. 伯纳黛特也在生我的气If it makes you feel any better, 也许这能让你好过点a parasitoid wasp known as Oobius depressus 有一种类型的寄生蜂has been rediscovered after 101 years of presumed extinction.在被认定灭绝101年后重新被发现踪迹了Why would that make me feel better? 这怎么让我好过了Why would your Bernadette thing make me feel better?那你跟伯纳黛特的事又怎么会让我好过At least mine was educational. 至少我的还有教育意义Okay. Never mind. 好吧当我没说Look, I'm sorry. 对不起Tell me why Bernadette is upset with you. 告诉我伯纳黛特为什么生你的气了Well, I told people at work that she's pregnant. 我跟公司的人说了她怀孕的事She wasn't ready for them to know. 但她没准备让他们知道Why would you do that? 你为什么要这么做Well, it just slipped out. I feel terrible. 我就是说溜嘴了我也很懊悔See, that's exactly what happened to me, 跟我简直一模一样except that I said it on purpose, and I have no regrets. 除了我是故意说的而且并不后悔Is it even possible to get this done in two months? 两个月内完成有可能吗Well, maybe. I don't know. 也许吧不知道We'll have to work 12 hours a day, seven days a week. 我们得每周不歇地一天工作12小时Which means I won't be able to make Penny breakfast every day,也就是说我不能再每天给佩妮做早餐了and she'll realize my brioche French toast 她会意识我做的法式吐司奶油卷was the only thing keeping her in the marriage. 是唯一让她不跟我离婚的原因I love your French toast. 我也爱吃你做的法式吐司Oh, thanks, man. 谢了兄弟So, why did you guys even agree to the deadline? 那你们为什么同意那个截止日期We didn't. Sheldon did. 我们没同意谢尔顿干的And you just let him? 你就让他答应了Well, the colonel said it was for the good of the country, 上校还说这是苟利国家的事and the funding is substantial. 我们就因资金而趋之了No, but mostly, there was an awkward pause, 没有主要当时有一阵尴尬的沉默and I broke it by saying, "Okay." 于是为了打破尴尬局面我就说了"好"So I guess I won't be seeing you guys for a while. 看来我要见不到你们一阵子了Oh, looks like it. Wow. 是这样的You're going off to work with the military, leaving me behind. 你们去军方工作独留我一人Now I know how all those army wives feel. 我突然理解军嫂的生活了Would you stop? 你够了啊We're just gonna be on the other side of campus. 我们就是在大学另一端而已And right here. 也在这里You are a deeply silly man. 你就是一傻姑娘He is so afraid of his feelings. 他怎么如此不敢直面内心呢Got a minute? 有空吗Yeah, come on in. 有啊进来I just wanted to apologize. 我想道歉I know what you did was an accident. 我知道你是不小心说出去的Oh, thank you, and I'm sorry I lied about it. 谢谢你对不起我跟你撒谎了For what it's worth, you're a great liar. 不过你撒谎挺在行的Oh, that's what Amy said. 艾米也这么夸我的So what's going on with the research project? 研究项目怎么样了Are they gonna let you run it? 他们还会让你负责吗Well, my boss said he hadn't decided yet, 老板说他还没定下来so I gently reminded him 于是我温柔地提醒了他that he's an old rich white guy, 他是个有钱白人老头and I'm a sweet little pregnant lady 而我是个甜美无害的小孕妇who's not afraid to cry in front of a jury. 在陪审团面前演落泪戏码没在怕的You threatened to sue? 你威胁要告他Hey, I learned a long time ago, when you're four feet eleven 我多年前就已学会当你只有一米五and eye level with every guy's crotch, 而平视只能看到每个男人裆部时that's where you punch. 你就往那里捶就对了That's funny. 有点意思I learned something totally different. 我学到的不是捶是...Do you know what? 其实呢It's just a research project. 不过是个研究项目The most important job in the world 世上最重要的工作is gonna be raising this child. 应该是抚养这个孩子It's all I need to give my life meaning. 那才赋予我生命的意义Oh, that's so beautiful. 说得太好了You believe me? Oh, good. 你信了那就好11 more chumps like you, 再多11个像你这样的笨蛋I'll have the jury eating out of my hand. 整团陪审团就随老娘摆布了I never realized this building was classified. 我之前都不知道这栋楼是机密建筑Maybe that's because it's classified. 也许正是因为它是机密Wish we weren't so far from my parking space. 希望不会离我们的车位太远The way you put away those lemon bars, 就你吃柠檬方块的那个熊样perhaps that's a good thing. 远点是好事I'd like to reinstate the you-not-talking rule. 我希望恢复"你不许说话"规则Why? It clearly doesn't work. 为什么明显没用I guess this is it. 应该就是这了不得吸烟危险不得吸烟未授权者不得进入Is that a retinal scanner? 那是视网膜扫描仪吗Let's find out. 我们试试Howard Wolowitz-- access granted. 霍华德·沃罗威茨准许入内- No way! - Impressive! -不是吧 -太棒了Oh, my turn! My turn! 该我了该我了Leonard Hofstadter-- access granted. 莱纳德·霍夫斯塔特准许入内I didn't even have to take my glasses off! 我都不需要把眼睛摘下来呢Access denied. 拒绝入内It knows! 它知道呢Oh, oh, oh, oh, guys, hold me upside down! 你们大头朝下抱着我。