Gender differences in intercultural communication摘要：跨性别交际是跨文化交际的一种形式。
在男性与女性交际的过程中，尤其是在口头交际的过程中，他们在语言的使用上存在着许多方面的差异。
这些语言差异源于男性与女性不同的心理特征、性别角色、社会分工、社会偏见、以及权势和支配欲。
性别差异不仅是生物学上的差异，而主要是一种文化构建。
这些差异必定会给两性之间交际带来困难，甚至是交际失误。
因此，只有了解不同性别的交际规则，培养性别文化差异意识，才能避免由性别差异而导致的交际失误，成为成功的跨文化交际者。
关键词：跨性别交际差异原因建议PART I: Differences between men and women in communicationNowadays, it is necessary for men and women to communicate with each other every day. But their different communicative styles often bring about doubts, misunderstandings, even conflicts in their communication, especially in intercultural communication. The differences always lie in the following aspects:1) Different vocabularies:Women tend to use milder expletives, such as “Darn it!”; while men are m ore likely use vulgar words, such as “Damn” “Shit” to curse others.Women tend to use milder exclamations, such as “Oh, dear!” “Goddess”; while men are more likely to use “God!” “My god!”.Women often use some empty extravagant adjectives and hyperboles to express emotions instead of offering information, such as adorable, charming, cute, and lovely. It would be funny for men to say these words.Women are more likely to use euphemism. If men use “hell”, women often say “the other place”.2) Different sentences:Men and women often choose different sentences. Men tend to use declarative sentences and imperative sentences. They express their own opinions directly to require or demand something; while women often use interrogative questions, milder imperative sentences to express their opinions indirectly.Women are often more likely to use compound requests. For example “If you don’t have anything better to do, why don’t you clean your room?” Women are more likely to use this type of statement becau se they are socialized to be polite. Men tend to use more powerful language forms that get attention or make them seem to be more knowledgeable and capable. For instance, they are more likely to make statements what they believe, such as “This is the best pizza in this town.”3) Different styles:3.1. Establishing equal relationship:If one woman says to another woman: “My bike was stolen yesterday”, the listener would reply the same experience she has had and complain the bad luck. These words can eliminate the feeling of solitude of the speaker, which can create an interactive speech pattern. If men come across this situation, men would tell women they should call the police first. Men just want to offer a solution for women in trouble.3.2. Support and sympathy:In women’s conversation, there are filled with support and sympathy. They always care for others’ feeling. Men, however, only care for themselves instead of paying attention to women’s mood. Men treat conversation as a way to show to show up their capability, knowledge or talent.3.3. Power and social status:Men are supposed to be superior, so they speak with powerful style. When men talk with women, menoften control the turn of the topics and the sequence of the speakers. Men often interrupt the conversation or get the speech floor; men pay no attention to women by reacting with their minimal responses such as “mhm”.Compared with men, women are inferior and controlled by men. They speak with powerless style. When they talk with men, women are passive and modest by using interrogative sentences, tag sentences and so on. Women often treat these as a way to develop the conversation or draw attention of men.3.4. Continuation of conversation:By raising questions, women hope that others can continue the conversation. Whenever they finish a topic, they can turn to another smoothly. The principle of cooperation is well represented by women.Men often show they are busy by speaking a few words and then leaving hurriedly.3.5. Tone:W omen are more frequent to use super high and low tone. The tone can fully express the speakers’ emotion and is one of the characteristics of women. Women would like to answer questions with rising tone to show their uncertainty. Women are more frequent to use falling-raising tone and raising-falling-raising tone. The falling-raising tone shows hesitate-apologetic meaning and the raising-falling-raising tone an enthusiastic situation.4) Different strategies:4.1. Direct and indirect:Men tend to be direct w hen they express themselves, while women are often indirect. However, it isn’t always like this. In some cases, it is the women who are expecting direct statements and the men who are expressing themselves indirectly. The issue is not directness or indirectness; the issue is the current interpretive framework.4.2. Fit to specific environment:According to observation, in different conversation environment, women and men tend to speak differently. For example, in a business meeting, the most of the talk would be dominated by men. However, men tend to be sullen and silent when they are at home.4.3. Intimacy and independence:Here is an example. Josh, the husband, gets a call from an old friend who will be visiting the town that Josh lives in, and he immediately invites him to stay at their house. Later, when he tells Linda, the wife, she is upset because he didn’t discuss it with her before making the invitation. He tells her that he doesn’t want to be seen as asking his wife for permission in front of his old friend. From this example, we can see that what is of concern to the man is his independence while for the woman it is their intimacy. In other words, he is concerned for his status as being free to make up his own mind whereas she is concerned for their connection.4.4. Rapport and information:Men are more likely to use what gender communication expert Deborah Tannen calls “report-making language” that centers on facts, information, and getting the job done. Women are more likely to use “rapport-buildi ng language” which considers message content and the relationship between the people communicating.5) Different topics:Women prefer to talk about daily life, such as family, children, health, fashion and love; while men are interested in big and serious topics, such as politics, money, sports and sex.6) Different focus:Women are emotional and sometimes, exaggerate with metaphors. Men concern only the word, just interpret the literal meaning. Women just want to express a kind of feeling. Men may take it seriously because they can’t know the implication of women. That’s why men may misunderstand women.There are still many other differences between men and women. I would not say more here.PART II: Reasons for these differencesWhy are there so many differences? The factors that affect the differences are:1) Social factors:Men and women have different languages because they treat language as a social symbol. They choose the languages according to the social pressure, atmosphere and others. The language they choose is fit for their status. Even though men and women live in the same society, women tend to use formal language. Men are endowed with power and women cannot have the same stable social status as men, in most cases, women are inferior to men. Women need to show and protect their identity or social status. So, women obtain kind of potential prestige during the process of obtaining collective identification by using standard language form.2) Cultural factors:Men and women belong to different sub-cultural groups. The research shows that the different groups are formed when men and women are young, and they have different acting ways. These differences make them realize the gender identity.Language is affected by social-cultural factors. Women tend to use standardized language because standardized language is thought to be the language used by upper class with high reputation. The motivation of using the hypercorrect standardized language is thought to enter the upper class. This is obvious for women. Women have fewer rights for materials than men. Women tend to speak standardized language for two reasons: a> Women have the obligation of raising the offspring and spreading culture to them, so they know how important it is for the offspring to learn standardized language. b> Traditionally, women’s social status is not so stable as that of men, so it is necessary for women to mark and stabilize their social status. So they realize how important standardize language.3) Political reason:Lakoff explained the gender differences were caused by social inequality. Besides, as long as the power imbalance existed, women were in difficulty and confined doubly because the languages and behaviors were thought of defective. On the other hand, if women were near to or copy the speaking way of men, these women were discarded for they weren’t women.For example, one female accountant in one American accounting office is capable and makes great contributions to the office and is popular with her c lients, but can’t be promoted because her manner and behaviors are like those of men. This is not relevant to her work, but she is recommended speaking, walking and dressing up like a woman.4) Psychological reason:Boe explains the differences between men and women from the social-psychological point. She believes that women’s choice of language is closely related to their psychological development. This emphasizes that women would consider others first. This psychological tendency is a kind of socialized ability, that is, the ability to keep and maintain the friendly relationship with others. Cooperation is the premise of considering others. This psychological tendency is reflected on the use of language.PART III: Suggestions for successful intercultural communicationNow that we have already known the differences and the reasons of these differences, we should try to avoid the miscommunication between men and women. What we should do are:1) Accepting gender culture differences:To be aware of the existence of discrepancy between cultures is the first step to walk into the door of successful intercultural communication. We must observe and study the differences so that we can avoidmiscommunication skillfully. It is difficult for most people to tolerate the differences of other cultures in some specific aspects such as beliefs, values and attitudes. People often view others from their own perspectives, since judgment can not be made without individual’s experience. Therefore, it is important for us to suspend judgment. We should accept the existence of gender culture differences and try to explore constructively what happens and how our partner acts so that we might better understand each other. We need to view objectively aspects of other culture that differs from that of our own.2) Learning to be tolerant:The two gender cultures are different in many ways. We should be tolerant to these cultural differences. Keep in mind that we are both alike and different. We should grant similarities and recognize differences. By learning that men and women are different, we can become more sensitive to the fact that men and women’s values and goals may differ, and generally their verbal and nonverbal language will vary as well. Instead of becoming annoyed by a ma le’s aggressive communication style, we should recognize that it is a style which is as much a part of his identity as an ethnic cuisine or a religious tradition is part of culture. By accepting and appreciating both, we can better assess the potential consequences of our acts and be more tolerant of those others.3) Learning to respect:The task in improving intercultural communication is awareness and respect than evaluation. Plato says, “No law or ordinance is more than understanding”. A successful commu nicator should be aware of others, care for others, respect others, and should not be pre-occupied with thoughts over them.4) Learning to be open and flexible:Studying other culture’s communication teaches us not only about other cultures, but also about ourselves. If we are open to learn and grow, we can enlarge our own communication repertoire by incorporating more emphasized in other cultures.Openness implies a willingness to accept cultural differences and is not closed to new ideas. Flexibility implies a willingness to use various ways to communicate. We need to be flexible and adapt our communication style to each culture and situation that confronts us.CONCLUSION:This thesis has mainly discussed some aspects of gender differences and speech. After that, the reasons for the gender differences are explored. At last, this thesis put forward some suggestion on how to improve intercultural communication.REFERENCES:Coates, J. and D. Cameron(1988) Women in Their Speech Communities: New Perspectives on Language and Sex. London and New York: LongmanEckert, Penelope(1996) The Whole Woman: Sex and Gender Differences in Variation. In Brenneis许力生.《跨文化交流入门》[M] 浙江大学出版社，2004吴晓. 跨文化交际中的性别差异和话语风格[J] 东北财经大学，2006张维友. 《高级综合英语教程》[M] 高等教育出版社，2001颜丽娟. 跨文化交际中的语言性别差异之虞[J] 湖北经济学院，2011张聪. 英汉跨文化交际中的性别差异[J] 长春理工大学，2009。
