生活大爆炸--第10季第20集-美剧-字幕-对白-纯英文-看电影学英语-打印-word版

It's pretty late. You think we got timeto run somemore simulations on the cooling system? Sure, I'm still figuring out the thermoacoustic expander. Oh, while you do that I am going topump cerebral spinal fluid through my brain cellsto remove the metabolic by-products of the day's thoughts. What?It's called sleep and it's my bedtime.Nighty-night, y'all.Hey, hey, hey, you're not going anywhere.We only have two months to deliver this to the Air Force because of you.I know, I was there.Well, wake up!We're gonna put in a lot of late nights.How late?Well, I don't know, midnight, 1:00.One o'clock?I'm not a raccoon.If you're tired, have some coffee.What? You have some coffee.I am having coffee!- And look how irritable it's making you! - Guys!We're not gonna get anything done if we start fighting. Now, can you please try to soldier through?Fine.I don't think I can go much longer.It's been three and a half minutes, wake up!I had a bad dream that my best friend became a tyrantand forced me to stay up all night to work.Oh, I had a good dream that when I carried you to bed,I let your head hit the wall and I laughed.Good morning.What is this?Well, we didn't see you last night,we're not gonna see you today,so we thought we could have breakfast together.Oh, that is so nice.Ow, it does hurt!So, what are you guys gonna do today?Well, Sheldon was supposed to go to this party with me this afternoon, but I don't think that's happening.Oh, that was never happening.Oh, I'll go.I like a party.Well, to be honest, it's not like a "party" party,it's more like a gatheringwhere scientists of different disciplines get togetherto share their workand keep current on what's going on in other fields.I don't know why I called it a party, sorry.It's okay, I'll still go.You don't think you'll be bored?Oh, I'll have some wineand listen to people go on about crap I don't understand.I mean, how is it any different than every single day of my life?I won't be there.Look at that, it is a party.Sorry I have to work all weekend.It's okay.Thanks again for breakfast.Well, I didn't get to see you last night.It was the least I could do.You shouldn't have made the alarm code his birthday.So, what should we do today?Oh, I appreciate it,but you don't have to spend your day off with me.Well, I don't mind.Oh, you want go to the mall and look at baby stuff?Not really.Oh, come on, we could share a pretzeland get sideways glances from racist old ladies.I get enough of that when I take Howardto my grandmother's for Christmas.Oh, I know,why don't we get started on clearing out the baby's room?Isn't it a little early for that?You have to get to it eventually.Oh, there's so much junk in there, it's embarrassing.How can you be embarrassed around me?I'm gonna be in the room with you when you give birth.I don't think you are.You didn't think I was gonna be in your kitchen this morning, yet here I am.Hey, kid.Huh, what?You look tired.Why don't you have an energy drink?Everyone's doing it.Oh, no, thank you, those have caffeine in them.Oh, sorry, I thought you were cool.I am cool.This is Yoo-hoo,chocolate milk's delicious watery cousin.All right.But if you ever want to feel like you have superpowers,try one of these.Superheroes take performance-enhancing chemicals?You bet.You know why Hulk is so strong?Steroids.You know why Batman wanders around at nightgetting into fights?Scotch.I am facing a great deal of work.And I do like things better when famous people also like them. Here.It's on the house.The first one's free?Flash, how do you stay in business?You want to know my secret?I bought stock in Marvel.I bought stock in Marvel.Hi, Bert.This is my friend, Penny.- Hi. - Hey, come on in.I'll gonna go turn on some rock music.That's a geology joke.Bert's a geologist.And a joker.How early are we?Oh, actually, we're an hour late.I suddenly wish Sheldon was here.I don't even know where to begin.Well, in The Sound of Music, Julie Andrews says,Well, in The Sound of Music, Julie Andrews says,"Let's start at the very beginning.A very good place to start."Oh, I was gonna start at the end.Thank God you're here.Well, I think the first thing we should get rid of isthat tone.Sorry.I should probably keep this in case we have a girl.Oh, that's a nice one.Was it yours when you were little?My dad built it for me.Wow, it's so cute.This was the husband and this was the wife.They'd go out on adventures together.Cruises, skiing, horseback riding.That was really me just duct taping them to our dog.Oh, and did they have kids?They did,but the mommy and daddy didn't like them,so they shipped them off to an orphanageI made out of a shoebox.Yeah, that's not worrisome at all.Not every girl dreams about being a mom.Sometimes you think you're never gonna have kidsand one day you wake up and you're pregnant.And it doesn't matter that your career's going great right now and that you and your husband never even got to go anywhere taped to a dog!I skipped spin class for this.Why is it taking him so longto get a drink out of a vending machine?Oh, it's complicated.He finds pushing that little doorand reaching up into the machine uncomfortably intimate. Gentlemen, I am ready to work.To quote The Martian, "Let's science the feces out of this!" That's The Martian the book and The Martian the movie, not Marvin the Martian.Although to quote Marvin the Martian,"I claim this planet in the name of Mars."Are you okay?Oh, I'm fantastic, never been better.I had my first energy drink and I feel great.Hey, you guys want to wrestle?We can do arm, thumb, mud, sumo.Nah, we're not fat enough, or wearing diapers.You wanted him awake.So should we talk to each other or mingle?I don't know where everyone is.Yeah, I mean,I could see him eating one or two guests,but not a whole party.Well, I guess this is kind of a bust.You don't have to stay.I'm gonna start cleaning up.Okay.I feel so bad about leaving him here.Oh, it's funny, I was just thinking the same thing about you. Hey, listen,could you not say anything about thisto the people at the university?You know, 'cause...you're you and I'm me, and it's kind of embarrassing.Wait, what do you mean "she's her"?Well, you know how Amy's the coolest girl on campus, right? - No. - No.Oh yeah, everybody thinks so.What?You tell me about your foot fungus, but this is a secret?I'm sure it's just 'cause I'm dating Sheldon.Mm, actually, I think Sheldon's popularbecause he's dating you.Now Sheldon's popular?What is happening?Maybe we should break for lunch.What time is it?According to the world's worst cuckoo clock, it's 2:00.My head hurtsand I'm more tired than ever.Why don't you just go home?No, I can do this.I just, I just need another energy drink.Oh, no.What?I want another one.So?That's a craving.That's a sign of chemical dependency.You only had one.No, I know,but plenty of things are addictive after a single exposure.I mean, crack cocaine, nicotine, Pringles.You know once one pops one just can't stop.You can't develop a problem that fast.You want to bet? Oh, great,now I'm addicted to gambling.We can't afford to lose any more time.Well, this probably won't work, but has anyone ever tried to just haul off and whoop the crazy out of him?That's not helpful.It's fun to think about, but it's not helpful.Hey, Sheldon, we are on a serious time crunch.We can't do this without you.Can you please pull it together?I'm sorry. Yes, of course.Thank you.Just, please, bear with meif I display symptoms of caffeine withdrawal.No worries.You guys stink.You guys stink.Sorry I flipped out on you.I think it's just hormones.I think you were mean before you were pregnant, but it's fine.So, uh, instead of cleaning out the room,why don't we just decide on a theme for the nursery? Does it really need one?Of course it does.Didn't your baby room have a theme?Well, it doubled as my dad's office,and he was a cop,so I guess the theme was bloody homicide photos. Oh. Mine was Winnie the Pooh.But anyway...why don't we just take a step backand start with a color?Right? There are so many amazing ones.Red, blue, green, purple...Are you just gonna name all the colors?Well, not now.I don't care what color the room is.Okay, well, I'm just trying to help you.Well, you're not, so just drop it!I'm clearly upset. Why aren't you following me?Sorry! Sorry!And when Amy started using a solution of chromic acid and white vinegar to clean all her lab equipment,all of a sudden, everybody was doing it.You trend setter!Just the right idea at the right time.Okay, okay, so Amy's cool, Sheldon's cool.- Tell me about Leonard. - Who?Leonard Hofstadter.Oh, him. I guess he's all right.Apparently he tricked some hot girl into marrying him. That's me, I'm her.You know, he didn't trick me.He just wore me down.It makes sense you two are friends.I mean, hot girls always stick together.And you thought this wasn't gonna be a great party. You know, I had no ideaCaltech is exactly like my high school.Well, it's not exactly like it.We're all extremely smart.Wow... you popular girls are mean.I'm gonna get some coffee. You want some?Uh, you're really going to have caffeine in front of me when I'm trying to get my life back on track?Uh, okay, let's pretend you do have a problem.- I do. - You don't.- Yeah, but I do. - No, you don't!But let's say you do.And don't say you do, because you don't!Now, wouldn't you think that throwing yourselfinto your work would be the best way to deal with it? - With what? - Your problem.I thought I didn't have a problem.That was painful to watch.So where are we going?I don't know.Okay.How Thelma and Louise of us.How Thelma and Louise of us.Raj, why don't I care about anything?I'm sorry?It's my baby.I-I should care about nurseries and colors,and I don't-- what's wrong with me?Well, crime-scene photos near your crib spring to mind.I keep waiting to feel excited,but it's not happening.What if it never happens?Bernadette, come on, look,you're overthinking this, okay?You're gonna be an amazing mom.Even if you don't believe it,I know you have maternal instincts.Once, I was supposed to babysit my brothers.Our neighbor found them naked in the backyard eating crickets. Happy and well-fed.You see, that's what I'm taking from that story.Leonard, can I ask you a question?Is it about the rotational symmetries you should be figuring out or your fake caffeine problem?Howard, can I ask you a question?No.All right, I'll just toss this out to the room.Um, I was thinking that the best wayto fight my addiction is by weaning myself off in steps. Now, I couldn't find a caffeine patch,but I did find what claims to bea mind-boosting caffeine suppository.Yeah.You know, the interesting fact about the rectum...Sheldon!We are dealing with an impossible deadlinefrom the Air Force because of you.So have an energy drink, don't have an energy drink.Order suppositories and shove 'em wherever you want,I don't care!You don't shove them.They come with an easy-glide applicator. Right. Listen to me.We can't do anything until you do your part. So get up in front of this whiteboard and do it! - I can't. - Yes, you can.No...I can't figure out the math.I've been racking my brain for days,and I've got nothing.Seriously?I can't do it.I'm not as smart as I think I am.I'm so sorry. This is all my fault.It's okay, we'll figure something out.But what if we can't?It'll be fine.You'll see.Sheldon?Buddy?When the baby gets here,you gotta teach me that.Thank you so much, Bert. This was great.My pleasure.You girls want to take homea two-gallon tub of potato salad?I think we're good.Okay, well, thanks for coming by.You're nice people.Well, so are you. In fact, you know what?We will never take you for granite.Did you get that? Granite?A little geology joke.You need to leave.I'm in love with both of you now.- Okay. - Bye.Uh, pull over.What? Why? Who are you calling?You're gonna rat me out to Howard, aren't you? You're such a snitch, no wonder I don't like you. Whoa, I'm calling my dad, okay?He's got experience dealing with pregnant ladies because he's an OBGYN.And experience with crazy ladiesbecause of my mom.Hello, Rajesh.Are you calling to ask for money?What? No.Are you calling to ask for things that cost money? No.Great. What's up?This is my friend, Bernadette.She's pregnant, and she's a bit worried,so I thought maybe you could talk to her.Of course. What seems to be the trouble?Something's wrong.I don't care about any of the baby stuffevery other mom is so into.Honestly, I'm not even sure I like babies.Look, some people are baby people,and some people are not baby people.It doesn't mean you won't love your own baby.But I thought I'd be more excited.Oh, being excited isn't a guarantee of anything.Rajesh's mother was thrilled when she was pregnant with him. After he was born, she doted on his every move.And you know what happened?He broke her heart, moved halfway around the world,and dates only poor white women.So you never know.Thank you. I feel better now.- I don't! - Good.Bernadette, I hope you have a daughter.Uh...I don't know how to say this.Well, you could try starting with "sir".Right. Sorry, sir.He said start with it, not end with it.Sir...We've hit a bit of a snag.We're already behind schedule.The computations required toovercome the deployability issuesare more significant than we thought.I understand that we're under contract,and I don't know what the consequences of violating that are, but, uh... we're not gonna be able to deliverin the time we promised.How long do you need?We-We're thinking... two years.All right.That's it?You're okay with that?You think you're the first government contractorwho isn't gonna deliver on time?We're still waiting for a big space laserReagan ordered to beat the commies.Thanks for understanding, sir.Yes, thank you so much.We-We really appreciate it.All right, pressure's offWanna see a movie?Popcorn's on me.。

All right, we're about to go live. 好啦节目马上开始直播Everyone on their A-game! 大家拿出最佳表现Good energy! 精神点Hello. 大家好I'm Dr. Sheldon Cooper. 我是谢尔顿·库珀博士And I'm Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler. 我是艾米·菲拉·福勒博士And welcome to a special retrospective, 欢迎收看特殊回忆集where we will take a look back at the history of Fun with Flags我们将回顾《有趣的旗帜》这一节目的起源on an episode we're calling... 请收看这一集...Fun with Flags: Behind the Flags: A Retrospective. 《有趣的旗帜: 旗帜背后回忆特辑》♪ Wondering how it all began ♪ ♪ 好奇节目如何开始 ♪♪ You'll need a good attention span ♪ ♪ 得超长待机不打盹 ♪♪ For information and entertainment ♪ ♪ 无论知识还是娱乐 ♪♪ That's equally effective ♪ ♪ 这个节目统统都有 ♪♪ It's fun with flags ♪ ♪ 有趣旗帜 ♪♪ Behind the flags ♪ ♪ 旗帜背后 ♪♪ A retrospective ♪ ♪ 回忆特辑 ♪♪ Flags. ♪ ♪ 旗开得胜 ♪Mind you, when we say behind the flags 提醒大家我们说旗帜"背后"we don't literally mean these flags. 不是指这两面旗帜的背后That's just where we have dinner. 它们背后是我们的餐桌Now, I'm sure many of you are wondering 好了我相信你们很多人都好奇how Fun with Flags began. 《有趣的旗帜》是如何开始的So let's hear from some people who were there 让我们听听见证我们节目开始的at the very start. 老朋友们怎么说H-Howard. Flashback sounds. 霍华德记忆闪回音效Could have played that on my harp. 明明我用竖琴也能弹Just roll the clip. 你乖乖播影片就对了So tell us in your own words 用你们自己的话about that magical moment when Fun with Flags was born.告诉大家《有趣的旗帜》开始时那魔力的瞬间I honestly don't remember. 说真的我记不得了Sure you do. 你肯定记得I was telling you both the story 我当时正跟你们俩说about how Haiti and Lichtenstein 海地与列支敦士登两国discovered they had the same flag. 是怎么发现与对方用了同样的国旗It was at the Summer Olympics of 1936, 当时正值1936年的夏季奥运会and two plucky nations... 这两个勇敢的国家Oh, wait. I remember. 等等我想起来了Oh, and do you remember what you said? 那你还记得当时对我说什么了吗Yes. Please find someone who cares. 记得拜托去找愿意鸟你的人And that's exactly what I did. 于是我真的这么做了I found a lot of someones. 我找到了很多愿意鸟我的人Almost 200. 有将近两百人呢Many of them on purpose. 很多人还是强迫中奖And now we're going to turn it over to you, the viewers, 现在我们要听听你们怎么说各位观众to call in and share your favorite Fun with Flags moments.请踊跃来电分享你们最喜爱的节目时刻And-and don't get discouraged if the phone lines are jammed. 如果发现电话占线千万别气馁Just keep trying. 继续尝试拨打就对了Oh, thank God! 老天保佑Welcome to Fun with Flags! 欢迎致电《有趣的旗帜》Hey, Sheldon. 你好谢尔顿Hey, Amy. It's Bert. 你好啊艾米是我伯特Hello, Bert. 你好啊伯特What is your flag-related comment or query? 你有什么跟旗帜有关的评语或疑问呢I have a girlfriend. 我交到女朋友了And what does that have to do with flags? 这跟旗帜有什么关联呢Nothing. I just wanted everyone to know I have a girlfriend. 没关联我就是想告诉大家我交到女朋友了Bert, you're tying up the line. 伯特你别占着线路了My apologies to all of you 在此跟试图打进来trying to call in with legitimate flag comments. 分享与旗帜有关评论的各位道歉All right. W-We have our next caller. 好的下一位观众打进来了Her name's Rebecca. 她的名字叫丽贝卡Should we get lunch or you want to eat at the zoo? 我们是先去吃饭还是在动物园里吃Oh, Howie, I don't need food 华仔我不用吃饭as long as I can look at my phone? 我玩手机就能玩饱I don't like when you imitate me. 我不喜欢你模仿我You want to hear my Stuart? 那你想听我模仿斯图尔特吗It's been a while since I've gone on a date. 我有好一阵子没跟人约会过了You mind if we watch the monkeys doing it? 不介意看一下猴子交配吧I said that to you in confidence. 这是我私下跟你说的好吗This is supposed to be our family fun day. 这应该是我们的家庭欢乐游What's so important on your phone? 你手机上有什么事那么重要I'm on the day care's Web site. 我在看托儿所的网站Stop looking at that. The day care's great. 不用看了那家托儿所很赞It's on campus. 就在我校区里My office is two minutes away. 离我办公室就两分钟路程There's nothing to worry about. 没什么好担心的What if she likes the people who work there more than us?万一她对托儿所员工的喜爱胜过我们怎么办She already likes soap bubbles more than us. 她对肥皂泡泡的喜爱已经胜过我们了When I go back to work, 一旦我回去工作we're gonna leave her with these people. 我们就要把她交到这些人手里We don't know anything about them. 而我们完全不了解他们They're highly-trained educators with background checks. 他们都是通过背景调查训练有素的教育工作者They're even required to be current on all vaccinations.甚至要求身上所有疫苗皆要在有效期内You leave her with me, and I'm not any of those things. 你也让我照顾她啊可刚才说的我一样都没有Where's Howard? 霍华德人呢He took the day off. 他请一天假Oh, let's take advantage of his absence 那我们快把握他不在的机会and tell the kinds of jokes only physicists get. 多说一点只有我们物理学家才懂的笑话I'll go first. 我先来Okay, here. 来听好了Uh, Heisenberg is pulled over by a police officer. 有天德国物理学家海森堡开车被警察拦下And the policeman says, 警察对他说Did you know you were going 85 miles per hour? 你知道你刚才开到了时速137公里吗And Heisenberg says, 然后海森堡说Darn it, now I don't know where I am. 靠现在我不知道我在哪里了表明"粒子的位置与动量不可同时被确定" 海森堡曾提出过不确定性原理- So Howard back Monday? - Yeah. -霍华德周一回来是吗 -对Hey, guys. 伙计们- Oh, hello. - Want to join us? -你好 -要坐下来一起吃吗But he's a geologist, and I have more physics jokes. 可他是个地质学家而我还有很多物理笑话要讲呢Oh, quick! Sit! 快请坐So, Sheldon says you have a new girlfriend. 谢尔顿说你交了新的女朋友Yeah, which he rudely announced on my flag show. 对啊他在我旗帜节目上无礼地宣布这消息People were so upset about it 人们对此超级不爽的no one else called in the rest of the night. 以致于当晚后来再也没有人打电话进来Sorry. I couldn't help myself. 抱歉我克制不住自己I guess I just love love. 大概我只是太爱爱情Well, I'm very happy for you. 我为你感到由衷高兴Hey, we're all having dinner tonight. 我们今晚一起吃晚餐Why don't the two of you join us? 不如你们俩也加入我们吧Yeah, wh-- Hold on. 是啊等一下We don't know anything about this woman. 我们对这个女人一点都不了解What do you want to know? 你想了解什么Is she a geologist? 她是地质学家吗- No. - Oh, great. See you at 7:00. -不是 -很好晚上7点见How about after this we go see the exotic bird show?我们看完这个就去看奇珍异鸟表演怎么样Not a good idea. 这主意不好My hair is a coveted nesting material. 我的头发是鸟类梦寐以求的筑巢材料Learning anything? 有学到什么吗Well, sloth babies cling to their mothers' bodies 树懒宝宝一直粘着妈妈不松手for almost a year. 这过程差不多有一年I'm going back to work after only four months, 而我在短短的四个月后就要回去工作了so I've learned I hate myself, I hate sloths, 所以我学到我恨我自己我恨树懒and I hate you for bringing me here. 我恨你把我带来这里Me I get, but that sloth is pretty cute. 你恨我我懂可那只树懒还挺可爱的It's not just the sloth. 不仅仅是树懒Polar bears nurse their cubs for almost eight months.北极熊喂养幼熊的时间也差不多有八个月The orangutan mother builds her baby a new home every night.母猩猩每天晚上都给她的宝宝弄个新窝And what do I do? 而我呢I choose my career over my child! 我选择了事业舍弃了孩子Told you we should have gone to Legoland. 早跟你说我们应该去乐高乐园Can't believe Bert has a girlfriend and I don't. 真不敢相信伯特都有女朋友了而我却没有I thought you were taking a break from women 我还以为你要在花丛中歇歇脚to focus on your career. 好好专注你的事业Oh, grow up. 成熟点好吗Don't you have any friends he can date? 你没有朋友可以介绍给他了吗Hey, I already set up Howard and Bernadette. 我已经把伯纳黛特介绍给霍华德了It's your turn to ruin some poor girl's life. 该轮到你去毁掉某个可怜妹子的人生了Oh, hey, guys. Come in. 你们好呀请进Thanks. 谢谢Everyone, 各位this is Rebecca. 这位是丽贝卡She's younger and far more attractive than he is. 她不但比他年轻长得还比他好看千百倍They're copying you two. 他们俩在模仿你们俩呢What are you making? 你在做什么Chicken. 鸡肉Birds mess with my hair, I come back hard. 鸟儿蹂躏我的头发我得加倍蹂躏它们同类Finally get Halley down? 哈雷终于睡下了吗Yeah, eventually. 是的终于She's still not happy about taking a bottle, though. 不过她还是很抗拒用奶瓶喝奶Look, if you're not ready to go back to work, 如果你没准备好回去上班we'll figure something out. 我们会想到解决办法的No, I'll be fine. 算了我会没事的It might be good for her. 这对哈雷来说或许是好事Howard's mother was around him all the time, 霍华德他妈就一直陪在他身边and he's a world-class mama's boy. 结果把他惯成世界级的妈宝I mean, wh-why would you say that? 你为什么要这么说Go ahead, have a tantrum; that'll prove me wrong. 来啊发脾气啊那恰恰证明我是"错"的It would be nice to raise Halley to be a little more independent其实把哈雷养育成比你更独立的人than you were. 也没什么不好啊I guess. 大概吧It wasn't until college that I learned 我到了上大学才知道you can put a thermometer in your mouth. 原来温度计可以放嘴里On that charming note, dinner is served. 听完这么有趣的事晚餐也好了So is this your first time dating a scientist? 这是你第一次跟科学家约会吗'Cause I'm thinking of starting a support group. 因为我打算弄一个互助团Actually, I'm not new to this. 其实我不是第一次了I was engaged to a Scientologist. 我曾跟一名科学神教信徒订婚教主曾是科幻小说家与科学并无关联科学神教是一个争议颇大的"宗教"Bert, Rebecca. 伯特丽贝卡I'd like to apologize for my insensitive comment earlier. 我要为我之前无心说错的话道歉Don't worry about it. It's fine. 别担心没关系啦See? It was fine. 瞧人家说没关系I didn't need a time-out. 我不用出门思过It wasn't a time-out. Let's get some food. 不是真的出门思过我们吃东西吧You made me sit on the stairs and think about what I did. 你让我出门坐在楼梯上悔过自己的所作所为Get your food! 去拿吃的So how did you two meet? 你们俩怎么认识的Oh, it's such a cute story. 这是一个有爱的故事We met on a dating Web site. 我们在一个约会网站上认识的Is that it? 就这样吗Oh, sorry. The end. 抱歉全剧终That's nice. 挺好的I haven't had much success meeting people online. 我在网络交友这方面还从未成功过I didn't either, until I revamped my profile. 我也是直到我修改了我的个人档案What'd you do, delete your photo? 你做了什么删掉自己的照片吗- Go. - Fine. -出去 -好吧And don't you slam that door. 你敢摔门试试Aw, man. 可恶Did I say something wrong? 我说错什么了吗No, it's always him. 不说错话的永远是他So, Bert, you were telling us how you updated your profile? 伯特你刚说到你更新了自己的个人档案Right. I wasn't getting any responses, and then I added, 对之前没有一个人理我然后我加了一条recent $625,000 MacArthur grant winner. 最近刚获得天才奖与奖金62.5万美元and five minutes later, 结果五分钟后I met my soul mate. 我就遇到了我的灵魂伴侣I was wrong. You can come back in. 是我错了你可以进来了So, Rebecca, how did you become a personal trainer? 丽贝卡你是怎么当上私人健身教练的呢I came to Los Angeles to be an actress, 我来洛杉矶是想成为演员and things didn't really work out. 但结果并不尽如人意I'd say she's copying you again, but... 我本来想说她又在模仿你可是......I'm getting tired of sitting in the hall. 我真的不想再被赶出门外I'd love a personal trainer. 我很需要一个私人健身教练I haven't seen my abs since they opened a Shake Shack 我下班路上开了一家网红奶昔店后on my drive home. 从此腹肌是路人I could give you some free sessions. 我可以免费给你上几堂课Oh, is that offer for everybody? 听者有份吗Nice try. I'm not going. 省省吧我不会去的Where's your bathroom? 洗手间在哪里Mm, just down there. 就在里面She's so perfect, sometimes I think she isn't real. 她真的太完美了有时我都怀疑她不是真人And then she goes to the bathroom, and I know she is. 直到她去上厕所我才能确定她是真人Aw, that's so weird. 真的好甜蜜好诡异哦I'm sorry, Bert, 恕我直言伯特but aren't you worried she's only with you for your money?你不担心她和你在一起只是为了钱吗She better be. On our first date, 就希望她是啊我们第一次约会I bought her an 80-inch flat-screen. 我就给她买了一台80寸的平板电视Your first date? 第一次约会就买了Did you even measure her walls? 你有量过她家电视墙有多大吗You know, on our first date, 我们第一次约会时Leonard used a coupon to buy me a pretzel. 莱纳德用折价券给我买了椒盐脆饼And we lived happily ever after. 从此我们就过上了幸福快乐的生活The end. 全剧终Well, guess I'm ready to go. 我准备出门了Have a great first day back. 祝你复工第一天愉快You have everything she needs for day care? 托儿所要用到的你都给她准备好了吗Yep, all in the bag. 好了都装到包包里了Good. 很好Okay, sweetie, 好了宝宝Mommy's gonna go to work now, so you have fun today. 妈妈要去上班了你今天玩得开心哦I told her if day care is anything like prison, 我跟她说了如果托儿所跟监狱情况一样find the biggest baby and knock him out. 那就去把最大只的宝宝打晕就对了Bye, cutie. 再见小可爱I'm gonna miss you. 我会想你的I'm gonna be waiting right here tonight when you get home. 我今晚会在家里等着你回来Stop, you're gonna make me cry. 别这样你害得我都想哭了Great, now everybody's crying. 这下好了现在大家都哭了At least Halley's not. 至少哈雷没哭啊That's good. 那很好啊She's not gonna see us all day, and she doesn't even care! 她一整天都见不到我们而她根本不在乎Who's ready to laugh? 准备好要被逗乐了吗Okay. So... 开讲啦Feynman, Einstein and Schrodinger walk into a bar. 费曼爱因斯坦和薛定谔一同走进酒吧里Feynman says, 费曼说It appears we're inside a joke. 看样子我们身处一个笑话里Einstein replies, but only to an observer 爱因斯坦回答但仅仅是对who saw us walk in simultaneously. 看见我们一起走进来的人而言[相对论]To which Schrodinger says, 薛定谔对他说道可发现一只死猫[人]或活猫而非又死又活的叠加态薛定谔的猫这实验中如果实验者观察[酒吧]内部if someone's looking in the window, I'm leaving. 如果有人从窗户望进来观察我就立马走人That's actually funny. 其实还挺好笑的You should send that to Jimmy Fallon. 你应该把这笑话发给脱口秀主持人Oh, hello. Join us. 你好一起坐吧Hey, sorry if last night was awkward. 抱歉啊昨晚气氛有点尴尬Actually, it got me thinking 事实上我开始思考that I shouldn't flaunt my money to find love. 我不应该用炫富的方式换取爱情I might break up with Rebecca. 我可能会跟丽贝卡分手Wow, that's a big step. 这是个很重要的决定I think it shows a lot of character. 这很能表现出你高尚的品德I'm gonna hold out and see if I can find 我要等等看看看会不会有a hot young blonde who likes me for me. 年轻性感的金发妞单纯喜欢我这个人That's a good one. 这笑话真好笑Okay, now, Leonard, you tell a joke. 莱纳德轮到你说笑话了How's she doing? 她还好吗She's great. Look. 她很开心你看I see a wall... 我看到墙floor... 地板some Asian baby... 某个亚洲娃There she is. 看到她了See? Nothing to worry about. 看到没没什么好担心的Thank you. 谢谢Okay, I'm gonna try and get some work done. 好了我得试着处理工作了Yeah, me, too. Love you. 好我也是爱你Love you, too. Bye. 我也爱你再见How is she? 她怎么样了What are you doing here? 你在这里干嘛Can't a guy hang out at a college he doesn't go to 一个男人就不能到一所他没读过的大学and stare at a baby that isn't his? 盯着看一个不是他生的宝宝吗I get it. 我能理解I haven't even made it to my office yet. 我都没走到办公室就忍不住来看她了Is it weird if we just stand here and watch her all day? 如果我们一整天就站在这看她会不会很怪Probably. 大概会吧We should go. 我们该走了Yeah. 是啊Or we could take her to the aquarium. 又或者我们可以带她去水族馆I'll get her, you grab her bag. 我去抱她你去拿她的包包Hang on, Halley, we're busting you out of there! 撑住哈雷我们来救你出来了What are you looking at? 你在看什么Comments from our Behind the Flags retrospective. 在看《旗帜背后回忆特辑》的评论Get this, people are calling it 听听这个有人夸这一期the longest one yet. 至今为最漫长的一集Hello? Anybody home? 有人在家吗Is that Bert? 是伯特吗It's Bert. 是伯特I think it's Bert. 听起来好像是伯特Hey, what's up? 怎么了I broke up with Rebecca. 我和丽贝卡分手了You know, good for you. 这对你来说是好事呀No, I miss her. 才怪我想死她了I don't know why I listened to you. 我不懂当时为什么要听你的He's not wrong. 他说得没错It was your crackpot idea that he deserves love. 都是你瞎扯什么他值得被爱You know, you need to start raising your hand 下次你想说话时before you speak. 必须先举手Yes, starting now. 是的从现在开始Bert, you're a good guy; you deserve a woman 伯特你是个好人你值得被一个爱你who's interested in more than just your money. 而不是只爱你的钱的女人爱She was also interested in walking around my house 她也爱只穿着小裤裤in her underwear. 在我家溜达Now the only one doing that is me. 现在家里会这样的人只有我了If you're that upset, go get her back. 如果你这么难过就把她追回来吧I tried. 我试过了She's not answering my calls. 她都不接我的电话了Which really hurts because I bought her that phone. 一想到电话还是我买给她的就心如刀绞I made a huge mistake. 我真是犯了一个大错No, you didn't. Okay? 不你没有做错Look, Bert, when I had money, 伯特以前我有钱时I dated lots of girls who weren't right for me. 我和好多不合适的女孩约会过And then I gave up my money, 后来我放弃了万贯家财and now I'm alone and living with my friends, 如今我孤身一人借宿在朋友家and somebody else should probably talk now. 拜托谁快点来把这个话头接走Look, sweetie, 亲我说relationships aren't about money, okay? 恋爱并不是靠金钱维系的It's about respect and having things in common 而是靠相互尊重和共同之处and... 以及...Yes, Sheldon? 什么事谢尔顿You and Leonard don't have anything in common. 你和莱纳德就没有任何共同之处呀Maybe you should break up. 也许你俩也该分手You called on him. 你自找的Guess who's home from day care? 猜猜谁从托儿所回来啦It's Halley. 是我们的小哈雷Unless somebody else put an X on the bottom of their kid's foot.除非有别人也在宝宝脚底做了X记号You realize they called when you took her. 你们一接走她托儿所就给我打电话Guess who's home from the aquarium? 猜猜谁从水族馆回来啦Sorry again for barging in. 抱歉突然来打搅You don't have to go. You're welcome to hang with us. 别走嘛我们都很欢迎你一起玩Actually, our friendship group is at capacity. 事实上我们的朋友小团体已经满员了But if anybody drops out, you're at the top of the list. 但如果有人退出你将是第一候补团员Unless it's Raj, 除非是拉杰退出in which case, we'll probably get a person of color. 那样的话我们会需要补充一个有色人种You guys are nice, but I'm just gonna 你们人太好了但是我准备buy Rebecca a Jet Ski and see if that gets her back. 买一台水上摩托来唤回丽贝卡芳心I feel bad for Bert. 我真替伯特不值So he's using his money to attract a mate. 其实他用他的钱来吸引女性Is that any different than me using my intelligence 和我用我的智慧来吸引艾米to attract Amy? 有什么不同吗Or Leonard using his power of groveling to get Penny?莱纳德不也用他的卑躬屈膝去吸引佩妮吗It's totally different. 差别可太大了Bert's money might run out, 伯特的万贯家财有尽时but I can beg until the end of time. 我的跪求大法无绝期All that and he's shorter than me. 不光如此他还比我矮Sheldon, what did Amy have that attracted you? 谢尔顿艾米有哪些地方吸引你Oh, so many things. 数不胜数呀Her mind, her kindness, 她聪慧的头脑善良的品行and especially her body. 尤其是她绝妙的身体Really? 真的吗Relax. We're the same blood type. 别多想我和他的血型一样He knew he could harvest an organ. 他知道我的器官可以捐给他She does look happy. 她看起来挺开心的See? This is the right thing for her. 看到没这才是对她好的选择Let's all just go to work. 我们上班去吧Anytime. 想走时就吱一声Let me just say good-bye. 让我告别一下就好Halley. Look at Mommy. 哈雷看看妈咪Over here, honey. 我在这里呢宝贝Say good-bye to Mommy! 跟你老妈说拜拜Look at me! 快看老娘Look at your mother! 看一眼生你养你的亲妈呀All right, we can go. 好了我们走吧Hello. 大家好I'm Dr. Sheldon Cooper. 我是谢尔顿·库伯博士And I'm Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler. 我是艾米·法拉·福勒博士Based on the glowing reception 基于我们最近播出的of our recent Behind the Flags retrospective, 《有趣的旗帜: 旗帜背后回忆特辑》反响非凡we thought you might like to see how it all came together.我们想你们大概想看看它的制作过程So welcome to tonight's episode... 欢迎收看今晚的特辑Fun with Flags: 《有趣的旗帜:Behind the Behind the Flags: 旗帜背后回忆特辑的A Retrospective Retrospective. 背后回忆特辑》Ooh, we already have our first call. 已经有一位观众来电了Hello, you're on Fun with Flags. 您好欢迎致电《有趣的旗帜》The Jet Ski worked. I got her back. 水上摩托成功了我的爱人又回来了。

You know, downward-facing dogcomes from the Sanskrit phrase adho mukha shvanasana. Oh, that's beautiful. What does it mean?"Downward-facing dog."Yeah, I guess they don't have Sanskritfor "Butts up and heads down."Hey, we wrote the Kama Sutra.If it involves butts, there's a word for it.I thought we were getting breakfast before work.Oh, right, sorry.It's my fault. I asked Penny to do yoga with me.If you want, I can get ready in five minutes.It's cute that you think that.Don't worry about it.Hey, can I ask you a favor?Would you mind taking Cinnamon for a walk?Sure. You're living here for free.I guess I owe you.Bye, Cinnamon. Be a good girl.- Yeah, bye, sweetie! - Bye!Yeah, yeah, bye, Leonard.Okay, and tree pose.Well, she's done.Things have been going really wellwith the infinite resistance gyroscope.That's great. How so?Oh, the project is classified.I can't tell you.Oh, I suppose I could redact the classified parts.All right, um, I came up with an elegant solution to the...I used the...And then I...And that did it.Wow, I wonder what they're redacting.Why don't you ask me what I'm working on?Oh, very well. What have you been working on?And feel free to honk during the boring parts.I'm doing some experiments to showthat the signal to move a muscle occursbefore you know you even decided to move it. W... So you're attempting to pinpointwhere consciousness resides in the brain.Yes, I'm trying to figure out the nanometerand the attosecond, precisely where and whenan event of awareness takes place.Well, what do you know?Here I was, waiting to be bored with biology,and instead you tickle my intellectual fancy.Which, unlike my body, is an okay place to tickle.You know, when I was six,I wanted to marry the gorilla from Good Night, Gorilla. Maybe I was onto something.Gentlemen, the most interesting thingjust happened with this spoon.Unless it was singing "Be Our Guest," I doubt it.Unless it was singing "Be Our Guest," I doubt it.Yeah, I picked it up without thinking about it.Which raises a neuroscientific question,when did I decide to pick it up?The bigger question is, what are you gonna eat with that spoon? You didn't get any food.He does raise an interesting point.Amy is studying the time lag between intent and awareness, and I realized that appliesto the measurement problem in quantum mechanics.Now, I recognize there will be a time lagbetween me saying that and you Googling what it means,so I'll wait.I understand it, Sheldon.Yeah, me, too.I'm sorry, I spaced.Are we still talking about the spoon?It's nice to see you taking an interest in Amy's work.Well, don't get me wrong.Neurobiology's nothing more than the scienceof gray squishy stuff.But, you know, when it connects to physics,gas up the Ford, Martha, we're going for a drive.So did you confront Jennifer?I was going to, but she called in sick.And guess who else called in sick.- Paul. - Paul.Who's Paul?Oh, you met him at the office Christmas party.He's married to Nancy.Oh, sure. Wait, Nancy?I bet Jennifer gets a promotion out of this,which is so unfair because I work twice as hard as she does. Don't worry, Jerry won't be fooledby that type of behavior.Jerry?It didn't work for Randy, it didn't work for Tina,it sure as hell isn't gonna work for Jennifer.Well, I hope not.I just hate when people play those kinds of games.Tina?With your sales record, you have nothing to worry about.I went to your office Christmas party?You know, I like harp lessons,but I'm thinking of switching to elevator repair lessons. What are you working on?I was thinking about your experimenton the neuroscience of decision making,and I realized,if we connect it to the measurement problem in quantum mechanics, we have a chance to disprove the role of consciousnesswe have a chance to disprove the role of consciousnessin the Copenhagen Interpretation.Wait, are you saying if we combine my experimentwith your calculations,we can determine the precise moment in timewhen the wave function collapses?It could be the most inspired combinationsince I mixed red Icee into my blue Icee.It was like drinking 2/7 of the rainbow.Sheldon, this is really interesting.Yeah, and this one won't stain my teeth purple.You know, we've never collaborated professionally before.Are you worried it might affect our relationship?That is a valid point.Perhaps we should establish some ground rules.Well, that would make me feel better.All right, let's start right now.Uh, rule number one,no using sexuality to get your way.That's a ridiculous rule.Is it?Okay, how is that?I can actually feel the toxinsbeing pulled out of my skin.Well, this is a moisturizing mask.Oh, well, then I can actually feelthe moisture going into my skin.Hey, I hope you don't mind,I used a little of your eye cream last night.I thought someone looked brighter and tighter.I'd still like to know who Jerry is.Don't worry about it. Hey, after this,how about we all go out and do something together? That would be great. Thank you.You want to go shopping?Ooh, yes. Fun.Or we could do something we'll all enjoy,like play a board game.♪ Imagine me and you, I do ♪♪ Imagine me and you, I do ♪♪ I think about you day and night ♪♪ It's only right to think about the one you love ♪♪ And hold her tight ♪♪ So happy together ♪♪ I can't see me lovin' nobody but you ♪♪ For all my life ♪♪ When you're with me ♪♪ Baby, the skies will be blue ♪♪ For all my life.♪I believe I've made some progress on our ground rules.Oh, good. What are they?Okay, uh, number one:in matters of physics,I have the final say.In matters of neuroscience, you have the final say. Unless I disagree.Oh, here.Number two: when we publish, my name goes first. Oh, subsequently, if we win any awards, I speak first.I don't want to be talking when the orchestra plays us off. Can I see that?Oh, of course.I'll get that back.Like all my underwear, that notebook says"Property of Sheldon Cooper."Sheldon, if we're gonna have ground rules,I'll tell you the first ground rule--I make the ground rules.I'd write that down, but I can't now, can I?I mean, they didn't say anything,but I just kind of felt like I was beinga weird third wheel.Huh, so you can tell what that feels like.Interesting.Anyway, I figured I can hang out with my friendsand have fun, too.Well, if your idea of fun is riding in a minivanto Target for diapers,things are about to get nuts.Oh, it's just nice to be with peoplewho are happy to have me around.Isn't that right, Halley?Well, at least someone had the courage to say it. Thank you, you are a good citizen.Told you.Go ahead, throw my underwear out the window. Same thing's gonna happen.Terrific.Do you want to hear our new set of ground rules? Fire away.Number one: we're on the same team,we're not in competition.That's smart, because Sheldon 1, Amy 0. Number two: disagreements can happen politely. There's no need to call an idea stupid.Aw, someone drew a penis in it.Are you listening?I'm sorry, go ahead.Number three.To avoid getting frustrated, we take built-in breaks and reward our successes with a small treat. Ooh, that sounds fun.Now, we're talking about real treats, right?Not Bible verses like my mother used to give me. Whatever you want.So, shall we get to work?Biology and physics coming together--Biology and physics coming together--this is like the peanut butter cup of the mind. Oh, I know what I want my treat to be!♪ Imagine me and you, I do ♪♪ I think about you day and night ♪♪ It's only right ♪♪ To think about the girl you love ♪♪ And hold her tight ♪♪ So happy together ♪♪ If I should call you up, invest a dime ♪♪ And you say you belong to me ♪♪ And ease my mind ♪♪ Imagine how the world could be, so very fine ♪♪ So happy together ♪♪ I can't see me ♪♪ Lovin' nobody but you ♪♪ For all my life... ♪Wow, look at that.Yes, this is remarkable.So we're agreed: it's complete garbage.By the way, your name can go first.I mean, I'm glad they're getting along,but it's starting to make me uncomfortable.Well, are you worried he's like another man in her life?A little, until I saw them in matching tops, so... Nice. 174 diapers.That ought to get us to Wednesday.Well, have you talked to them about it?Well, what am I supposed to say--"Stop having fun without me"?This one says that every time I go out.See? I listen to you.Look, Raj just gets along with women.I-I know,but he was my friend first.It's like she's stealing himand they're just having the best timedoing all their dumb girly stuff together.You sure you don't fit in?You sound like a catty bitch to me.I don't know where we went wrong.Yeah, the math is so inelegant.I'm not even sure it makes sense.Well, don't give up. Maybe we can fix it.Can you stop breathing so loud?I can hear your nose whistling.I can hear your face talking, so we're even.All right, either blow your noseor teach it to play "Camptown Races."Fine. Fine. You want me to blow my nose?Here, I'll blow it.Better?No, I can still hear it.Oh, wait, that's me. Never mind, it's fine.You know, you're exhausting.I knew working together was a bad idea.Hold on.I see what's wrong here.We did the propagation only to the occipital lobe,not to the prefrontal cortex.That would mean that this delayed parametershould be increased 250 milliseconds.Oh, that is much better.Yeah, boy, if good ideas came out of your brain the way mucus comes out of your nose, we'd be in good shape. Now, take a sip,swirl it around your mouth,and try to notice the flavors,the tannins, the textures.Well?I probably should have spit out my gum first.Yeah. You know,the last couple of weeks have been pretty rough,but, uh, staying here with you guyshas really helped take my mind off of it.Well, we've loved having you around.Right, sweetie?Leonard?Yeah, when did he leave?Yeah, that's rude.You know, it's nice to spend time with peoplewho don't talk about work like it's some kind of soap opera. Jennifer still trying to sleep her way to the top?Yeah.You should be happy someone wants to do the stuff with Penny you don't want to.Yeah, I wish I had that with Howard.Wait.What? What do I make you do?Let's see, the magic store,the Doctor Who convention,the National Belt Buckle Collector's meet and greet.It said right there on the invitation,"Buckle up for fun."It's not my fault you didn't listen.I'm sure I'm overreacting.You're entitled to feel how you feel.If you don't like it, you should just talk to her.I don't want to sound like a jealous baby.Oh, then maybe you shouldn't talk to her.You know, I had a feelingyou were using the wrong computational model,but I didn't say anything 'cause you're so sensitive.Just because I am easily botheredby light, heat, sound, smell and the way birds look at me does not mean I'm sensitive!I wonder what kind of success we'd haveif we defined measurement as the first momentthat an action potential is seen by the visual cortex.That is a daring and insightful solution.We're finally making progress.I wish we could do it without fighting.What if the fighting is the reason we're making progress?I suppose it's conceivable thatthe hormones associated with our fight-or-flight response could be sharpening our cognitive processes.Well, if that's the case,then your grandparents mumble and have bad posture. How dare you speak that way about my Grammy-- Hey, wait a second. Wait.Delta "T" could equal alpha sub-zero.It seems we have a choice to make.Abandon all ground rules in the name of science, or... give up collaborating for the sake of our relationship. There's only one clear choice.- Science it is. - No, you bonehead!Name-calling, that is perfect.Now, when I get to this equation here,really let me have it. You know?I-If it helps, I'm not the sharpest dresser.Anyway, I know it's silly, but since Raj moved in,I've been feeling a little left out.Well, sweetie, that's crazy.No, no, Penny, don't dismiss his feelings.Thank you. I just feel...Hang on, I'm not sayingthat his feelings aren't crazy.I just don't want him to think thatthis isn't a safe place.Well, to be truthful...Well, why wouldn't this be a safe place? I mean,he's surrounded by his wife and one of his best friends.I don't want to speak for Leonard.Thank you. I...But when you're insecure,no amount of external validationcan ever make you feel safe.Yeah, you're right.You know, you're really sensitive about this kind of stuff. - I'm a good listener. - Yeah.Hey, Olsen twins...What?Well, I-I mean, I'm sitting right here.You're talking about my feelingsand somehow leaving me out of the conversation.I'm sorry. What did you want to say?I don't know, you pretty much covered it.Can you read them back?"Revised ground rule number one:We are on the same team, but it is a competition." Excellent. Excellent.And on a related point, you're going down, punk. "Revised ground rule number two:There are definitely stupid questions.And those who ask them can be told soright to their stupid face."I love that one.Thanks, babe."Number three:Fair topics for insult includeEducational pedigree, scientific field,intellectual prowess, and mamas."Yeah, that list is strong.Like your mother's urge to be promiscuous with sailors.。

It feels like it wasn't that long agowe were here doing this for Halley.'Cause it wasn't.Which reminds me, before we leave,let's get you a vasectomy.Oh, that's sweet, but today is all about you.So, you two ready to find out the sex of this baby? - Yeah. - Absolutely.Is Halley hoping for a little brother or a little sister? Well, she's nine months old,so unless it jingles or is in my bra, she doesn't care. And how about you two?You know, for the first one, we really wanted a girl, but this time around, we don't have a preference. Yeah. Boy, girl, as long as it's healthy.Well, it's a boy.Come on, you can't really be disappointed.Hey, I barely know how to be a man myself.Now I have to teach someone?As the saying goes, those who can't do, teach? Don't you want a little version of Howard?I already have a little version of Howard.Now I'm having a son?I'll have to teach him how to play sports,and-and watch sportsand-and-and-and-and-and...He just ran out of man things. He's in trouble.It's okay. We're all here to help.Yes. And this baby will have plenty of manly role models. Now, I'm certain that whatever Bernadette can't teach him, Penny can.Uh, she can pee into a bottle.Anything with a neck wider than a nickel.Howie, there's a lot of amazing things you can teach a son. Yeah. You do always know how to pick just the right antacid.I don't know if I can teach that.It's just something I was born with.Come on. You can build things.You were an astronaut.That's true.You know, as a kid, I used to make model rockets.That'd be pretty cool to do with a son.Model rockets. Finally, something interesting.What is your preferred mode of recovery?Sheldon, we're helping our friends.And we got to model rockets, yeah?It was a tedious road, but well worth the effort.- So, have you thought of any names? - Amy.We finally got to model rockets.Why are you turning back?Hey, where are you going?Back to the dry cleaner. Look at this.They didn't get the stain out of my Starfleet uniform.Well, if you didn't make me wear the green body paint in bed, you wouldn't have to get it dry-cleaned so much.Nah, it's worth it.Hey, wait, it's your mom.Oh, too bad. She just missed me!Hey, Beverly.Oh, hello, Penny.Uh, Leonard just left.He's gonna be so upset he mssed your call.Why?Because he...Yeah, I don't know.How are you?Did you mean personally or professionally?Um, personally?Like, what'd you do last night?I had Cuban food at the home of a manwith whom I shared unsatisfying intercourse.Wow. Okay.And to anticipate your next questions,roasted pork and sideways missionary.Sure. Sure. 'Cause you were full.I haven't looked at all this stuff in years.Had it.Had it.Burnt down my garage with it.I had three model rockets as a kid,and that was the largest space program in India.You have a replica Saturn V?Yeah. My dad bought it before he, you know,abandoned our family.Lucky duck.Could never bring myself to open it without him.It's silly.No, it's not silly.I always wanted my dad to build rockets with me,but he wasn't interested.Ah, yes, disappointing fathers.Tell me about it.I remember for my 16th birthday, my dad bought me a Mercedes. Like, a little one, like a starter Mercedes.He had barely handed me the keysbefore he had to rush back to work.I didn't see him again till, like,pretty late that night.Anyway......as angry as I was with him leaving,building this stuff is probably what led meto become an engineer.I suppose, in his own way,my dad also encouraged me to pursue science.I mean, he is the one that taught methat flatulence is combustible.And also, polyester gym shorts don't burn.They melt.Yeah, I guess I'm an astrophysicist because,as a kid, I said I like to look at the stars,so my dad sent me to Hawaii to visit the Keck telescope.是世界上口径第二大的光学/近红外线望远镜Screw you. My pain is real.You know what? Forget the past.What do you say you and me build this rocket?That sounds like it could be a real bonding experience for us. Right?Oh, I see.Oh, you think that's a positive.So, you don't want to hang out with Sheldon and Howard? No, they were bonding over their sad childhoods,and my stupid parents were always there for me.What's all this?I'm just boxing up all the clothes Halley's outgrown.Guess we won't need them anymore.Oh, well, slow down.I'm sure there's some you could reuse for a boy.Daddy's little girl?Okay, well, what if we, uh, change it to say,Daddy's little girl magnet?Boom! Boy shirt.What about this?Uh, okay.Uh, pull off the skirt, slap a lightning bolt on the front, and you got baby Flash.Stick a long sleeve under it.Boom! Baby Sheldon.Wow, you're really good at this.Oh, please.This isn't my first time turning girl clothes into boy clothes. Why? You got your sister's hand-me-downs?Yeah, that.Oh. I should've brought peanuts.You can't eat peanuts. You're allergic.If you die, who's going to drive me home?I'm not gonna eat them.It's a thing they do at JPL.负责开发与管理无人空间探测任务When the Ranger mission finally had a successful launch, 发射过9次只成功过5次there were peanuts in the room.Ever since then, they have them at every launch.That sounds like a silly superstition.It's more of a tradition.Oh! I do love a tradition.Could you pull over at the next peanut store?I don't think that's a real thing.Oh, don't be pedantic.Any nut store will do.I-I don't think we can get peanuts out here.Ah, well, then this whole day's ruined.Now that I think about it, maybe it is more of a superstition. Whew! That was close.Oh, uh, hey, Beverly, you called my phone, not Leonard's. Actually, I was hoping to speak with you.Is this a good time?Uh, that depends.What time is it where you are?Uh, just after 5:00.Yeah, that counts.Yeah, that counts.What's up?Well, I enjoyed our conversation the other day,and I was hoping to continue it.Really?Uh, yes. You may find this surprising,but I don't have a lot of what you would call girlfriends. What?Of course, there are my female colleagues,but, uh, they're all Freudians,so the only boy that I can dish about is my father.so the only boy that I can dish about is my father.Uh, well, you know, I'm here for you.What do you want to talk about?Well, last time, we focused on my life.If we're going to be real girlfriends,we should talk about you as well.Well, you know, if we're gonna be real girlfriends,we should get a third girl we can trash behind her back. Oh, so we'd be catty.Oh, I like it.What about Sheldon's fiance?She seems a bit dour.Ooh, dour? Meow.All right.Here we go.L-minus ten, nine...Wait, what are you doing? It's T-minus?I was an astronaut. We used L-minus.But this is a Saturn V,and when they launched those, they said T-minus?It's my rocket! We're doing it my way.Fine.I'm not saying I know why your dad left,but I think I'm getting an idea.L-minusten, nine, eight,seven, six...'Cause you're kind of bossy....five, four, three, two,one...I remember them going up higher.Well, that's perfect.I mean, the one thing I thought I could do with my son, I can't even do that right.Well, if you want to see it again, I got it on video. Looks pretty cool in slow motion.Thank you for your support.- You're welcome. - I was being sarcastic.How dare you!Sheldon, what am I gonna do?I mean, what do I know about raising a boy?What do you know about raising a girl?Oh, my God, you're right.Well, I don't know if that was sarcasm or not.So, either you're welcome, or hey!Leonard, did you really just text me from the couchto put extra mustard on your sandwich?I was worried you might not check your e-mail.I swear to God, I will throw this out.That one was not me.Oh, wait, it was just your mom.My mother's texting you?Yeah. We've been talking a lot lately.Why?She sick of talking to the magic mirror on the wall?No, I think she's lonely.She's been reaching out.Okay, just be careful.You think you're getting close to her,and the next thing you know, you're featured in a bookcalled He's Doing It On Purpose: Raising a Teenage Bed-Wetter. No, it's not like that.You know, she's been opening up about her life,and she's actually been really supportive about mine.- Really? - Yeah.I've been telling her about my job,and she said she was proud of me.Well, that's great.Never told me she was proud of me.Even when I stayed dry for a whole month.Do you not want me to be friends with your mom?Well, let's be clear.I-I married you to hurt her.You're kind of ruining it.Reason number 13 to feel good:as a launch, it was bad,but as an explosion, it was glorious.Reason 14,you still have all your fingers,and boys prefer a dad with fingers.Thanks for trying,but you're not gonna be able to cheer me up.Well, how about this, then?You quit your whining before I give yousomething to cry about, young man.What?Those are comforting words my father would often say. Did it help?I turned out great.You tell me.Let's get going.Are you gonna be this mopey all the way home?I don't know, maybe.There any chance you'd be cheered upby an amazing trigonometry riddle?Well, if you can't answer that,there's no way you're gonna get this riddle.Oh, hey, hey, what do you think?Just because it's a boy, I don't think you need toput a picture of genitals on his shirt.But that's a baseball bat with two little baseballs. Okay, and now I see it.So, you know, I understand whyHoward is nervous about having a son,but are you really upset about it?No, I'm fine.It's just, I grew up with a bunch of brothers,so I thought it'd be nice for Halley to have a sister.Is that wrong?Of course it's wrong.You don't know what this little boy's gonna be like. Maybe he'll be rough and tumble,or maybe he'll be sweet and sensitive,or maybe he'll be all those things, like me.You're rough and tumble?You bet I am, bitch.But I'm also sensitive and regret saying that.- Hey. - Hello.You got a sec?Sure. What's up?Penny's been talking to my motherlike they're best friends, and it's kind of freaking me out. Okay...I'm pretty sure they're not best friends.'Cause you can only have one best friend.And Penny has that, and it's me.Oh, really? Is she FaceTiming with you right now? Because she's FaceTiming with my mom, and believe me, that is not a face you want to spend time with.Hmm. Well, I have been pretty busy lately.Maybe I've been neglecting our friendship.Penny knows I have a complicated relationship with my mother; it's like she doesn't even care.And with everything going on at the laband planning the wedding,I just, I have so little free time.Penny doesn't know how manipulative my mother can be.Did you know there's such a thing asreverse, reverse, reverse psychology?Because... there is.I mean, she must feel so abandoned.She's used to me being there all the time,but now I have my own life,and she's just gonna have to accept it.And why is my mom proud of Penny and not me?I mean, the real question is: why is Penny so afraid of me growing as a person?I'm good at stuff, too!I deserve my own life!Okay, well, thanks.Good talk.You know, studies have shownthat people distracted by emotional issuesare poor drivers.What about people distracted by irritating passengers?That would be hard to test,because irritating is a subjective quality.Strongly disagree.Can I drive?No.You can't drive.You don't even have a license.Actually, I do.Really? Since when?Three years ago.I went on a bit of a license kick.I'm also a commercial fisherman.Then why don't you ever drive yourself?Honestly, I barely passed my test.And the one time I drove on my own,I made a U-turn, got dizzy, threw up and walked home. You really want to drive?It seems like the perfect time.The roads are straight, there's no one around,and you don't seem to care if you live or die.Live, Sheldon. I want to live.That makes things a little trickier,but I'll do my best.Hi, Pen...Oh, hello, Leonard.Hello, Mother. How are you?- Fine. And you? - I'm great.Well, it's been lovely catching up.Wait. Hang on. We need to talk.Oh, brother.I want to know, why aren't you proud of me?Well, isn't the real question,"Why aren't you proud of yourself?"No, that is a question-- and I ask it a lot--but let's stick with the one I asked you.But why do you think I'm not proud of you?Because you never say it.But two days into chatting with Penny,and you can't stop telling her how great she is.She is great.Honestly, of all of my children's spouses,she's the one that I'm most impressed by.Seriously?Yes.She's confident, she's thoughtful,and she never complained about you once.I know what kind of strength that takes.So, Penny's your favorite?I suppose she is.You married well, Leonard, and for that I am proud of you.I don't... I don't... I don't know what to say.I'm also proud of how hard you're trying not to cry. Thank you.Would you like to hang up now?Yeah, here it comes.Your hands are at 10:00 and 2:00.Good. Steady on the gas.Okay.Now you're gonna want to slowly switch lanes. Why?Because there are only two,and you're not in either of them.Attaboy. Well done!Thank you.The last time I drove, I was terrified,but this is fun.You're doing great.You're a good teacher.Your son is going to be lucky to have you as a father. Thanks.Do you think I could try going a little faster?Go for it, champ.Ow.Sorry.Just ease on the gas, and...Oh, too much! Too much!Why was I scared of this? This is exhilarating! No, it's not! Slow down!Don't tell me what to do! You're not my father!Do you know how fast you were going?112.Let me see your license.- Okay, here's the plan. -No.Fine.There you go.You know what, you can just keep it. You know what, you can just keep it.。

Previously on The Big Bang Theory...So I told my mom she just needed to back off.This is our wedding,and if anyone's gonna design the floral arrangements, it's going to be my man.Thank you.I mean, I-I'm not trying to be a Groomzilla, but... this is my specialty.Everything okay?Yeah, it's just Anu's doorbell camera.I helped her install it.You can't look at it. That's spying.Who the hell is this guy?Ooh, let me see.So you're still talking to your ex-boyfriend?Yes, and I'm not gonna apologize for that.And you need to delete that app from your phone. Because you're hiding something from me?No, because you should trust me!How can I trust you?! I barely even know you! Then what are we doing?I don't know.Oh! Aah, sad man!Oh! Aah, sad man!This is so great.Why don't we do it more often?Because you have two kids,I have Sheldon,and Penny's apparently in the gym all the time,'cause damn, look at her!Yeah, so impressive how you manageto bounce back after having no babies.Ah, another reason why we don't do this more often. You've come to a giant metal door.I check the door for traps.There are no traps.I use my wizard eyeto see what's on the other side of the door.Hey, that's sort of like how you used a doorbell camera to spy on your fiancee.No, it's nothing like that.Your wizard eye reveals a monster.- Oh. Is it alone and unloved? - I guess.I open the door and say, "Hey, Raj."I have a bottle of champagne for you.Oh, we didn't order this.It's from the gentleman at the end of the bar.Oh. Well, if we drink it,does that mean we're making a promise?'Cause I am happily married, although I will watch. We're not gonna do anything.Really? So all that work's for Leonard?Why don't you just call her?I'm sure you guys can work this out.I don't want to talk about it. Let's just play. Okay, the cyclops tells youthat the enchantress you seek is stayingat the Inn of the Dwarven Lords.Really? An inn?Anu is a concierge at a hotel.That's a little insensitive,don't you think?I hadn't noticed that before you mentioned it. Well, now that I've mentioned it, how do you feel? Bad.Shame on you.- Hey, ladies. - Zack!Hi. You guys know Zack.- Yeah. - Of course.Did-did you send this over?I did. I asked for the most expensive one they have. They said it was $200,and I said I want a more expensive one.And then, they said it was $300.But it-it was the same...Don't.Thank you, but you shouldn't have spent so much. Nah. It's cool.I sold my company for a boatload of money.And then I bought a boat.Then I got married.Guess where.On your boat?No, but that would've been awesome!Well, congratulations.Hey, you and Leonardshould come over and have dinner with us on our boat. Yeah, that would be so nice.Leonard was just saying how he was hoping to have dinner with one of your ex-boyfriends on his expensive boat.- Well, then this worked out perfect! - Oh, yeah.Hey. How was game night?Oh, off the charts.Literally. Sheldon rolled a number so high,it wasn't on any of these charts.That's funny.Wow. I should not have driven home.How was ladies' night?It was fun. Amy got drunk and kept telling usthat Sheldon's chest is smooth like a porpoise.Well, it does squeak when you touch it.And we ran into Zack.Oh. Yeah? How's he doing?- He got married. - Oh. Well, that's nice.Yeah, and he sold his company for a fortune and retired. Huh.And you ended up with me, so everybody wins.Wait. You're not jealous of Zack, are you?What? Oh, absolutely not.In fact, he should be jealous of me because I have you.And a dungeon with over 30 rooms left unexplored because no one thought to search for secret doorsunder the wizard's throne.Oh. You know, I'd like to go exploring.Really?Well, I'll get the dice back out.Well, I'll get the dice back out.Go away, Raj!Go away, Raj!What are you doing?I'm winning you back Love Actually style.I don't know what that means.Really? You've never seen Love Actually?If you want to watch it right now, I'll just wait.I have nothing to say to you.Look, we both made mistakes.I am so sorry that I spied on you.I didn't mean to, but I know it was not okay.Now, do you want to apologize to me?You also said you don't trust me and that you barely know me.I really thought this would be more of a back-and-forth thing. Honestly, Raj, why do you even want to marry me?You know, family and India and stuff.Here's what I think.All of your friends are married,and you don't want to be left behind.And honestly, that's not a good enough reason.Uh, okay, well, how is that differentthan what you're doing?Worried that you wastedso many years dating the wrong people, and now,you're just looking for a shortcut.You're right. It's not different.Okay, so we agree.- Yeah. - Great.Wait. What did we just agree on?That we shouldn't see each other anymore.You know what?Why don't you shut the door, and I'll just do the cards?Why don't you shut the door, and I'll just do the cards?Uh, do you remember Penny's ex-boyfriend Zack? Leonard, I remember all of Penny's ex-boyfriends.If you'd like, I could list them alphabetically.No, thank you.Fun fact. You would thinkZack would be the last one on the list,but she also dated two Zekes.Well, apparently, Zack sold his companyfor a ton of money and retired.And that bothers you?I don't know. I mean...I guess so. Yeah.It doesn't seem fair.I work hard.I'm really smart.I've made substantial contributions to my field.But Zack gets to be rich,while I'm still working for a paycheck?Well, a lot of people you don't know are rich.That doesn't seem to bother you. Mark Zuckerberg, Sultan of Brunei, Gordon Letwin.Who's that?He's one of the first 11 employees of Microsoft.Yeah, well, I don't have to hang out with Gordon Letwin. - Well, that's too bad.He helped create the HPFS file system.Oh, the stories he could tell.Penny told him we'd go have dinner with him and his wife on their stupid boat.Well, just tell her you don't want to go.Well, then, she'll think I'm being jealous and petty.So you want to seem mature and confident.I make one mistake, and she says she doesn't want to marry me. - Like she never screwed up. - Did she?Well, she agreed to marry me.Honestly,I think you dodged a bullet.I don't think she was right for you.Howie, shh.What?You can't bad-mouth Anu.They're gonna get back together,and you're gonna look like a jerk.I mean, remember when we broke up,and Penny said all those mean things about you?What did she say?I don't want to get into it.Some of it was hurtful, most of it was true.So I'm just supposed to lie to my friend?I don't want you to lie to me.No one's gonna lie to you.Lie.She says the only reason I'm marrying heris because all my friends are married,and I don't want to feel left out.Oh, that's nonsense.No. She's right.Now what do I say?[扎克之前的生意是菜单设计公司]So, Marissa, how did you guys meet?Oh, it's a pretty funny story.We met in a bookstore.That is funny.Yeah, I was just there using the bathroom,but this one had a stack of books, like, this tall. Oh. So, you really like to read?Oh, no. I work there.Yeah, she is super smart.Seriously, you name, like, any book,she'll tell you if she's heard of it.Go on, try her.Oh, uh, well, uh...Catcher in the Rye.Nope.Look at that, Penny.I guess we both like nerds.So, uh, we gonna take this thing out?Nah. It's a little choppy tonight.Yeah, that's okay-- this is nice, sitting under the stars. It's actually kind of peaceful.Well, it's a beautiful boat.Thanks, man.We love it.Although, he's so tall he bangs his headalmost every time he goes downstairs.After the first couple, you don't even feel it.Where are our manners?Zack, let's get our guests something to drink.Oh, you got it, babe.I can't believe that guy's rich.Ooh, watch your head.That was a close one.Are you jealous?I know, I know, I shouldn't be.He's super sweet. I should be happy for them.Oh, it's driving me crazy, too.- Really? - Yes. I was trying to pretendlike it wasn't so you wouldn't think I was petty.Wha-- turns out we're both petty.I love you so much.Cheers, guys.- Aw, thanks. - Thank you.So listen, I got to be honest.We sort of have another reason for asking you here. We want to have a baby,but we can't do it on our own.It could be because of the gameme and my frat brothers used to playwhere we kicked each other in the balls over and over. But the doc says there's no telling.We just don't know.You went to college.And Zack's always admired youbecause you're the smartest person he knows.Okay, whoa, whoa. Whoa, whoa.You know, this has been such a nice evening.Let's all just stop before anyone says any more things. Leonard, would you be the father of our baby?Aw, you said a thing.Wow, this is really flattering.And also really weird, right?Oh, just to be clear,you don't get to... you know.No, I...- I got it. - Just because I slept with your wifedoesn't mean you get to sleep with mine.We... we get it,but... thank you for saying it out loud.You're welcome.I know it's a big ask, but it would mean so much to us. Yeah, and we really don't want a stranger's, you know...- I know. - ...sperm.And Zack's always talked about what a great guy Leonard is.I...I really don't know what to say.Really? You don't know what to say?You know, I-I think we should talk about this. Oh, yeah. Definitely, you guys should talk, yeah. Take your time.He means privately.- Right. Sorry. - Sure. Yep.- Come on, Zack. - Okay. Yeah.You really think those two should be parents? There's nothing wrong with them.Hello, Daddy.Did you install a camera to spy on your fiancee? What?!No!That's what her parents told mewhen they said they were calling off the wedding. But I told them you would never do such a thing. Thank you.I mean, I did install a cameraand I did spy on her,but I did not install it to spy on her.Well, that's not going to be our story.Our story is that she's a liar.And-and old. An old, dirty liar.Oh, no. She's-she's actually great.I'm the one who screwed up.Well, don't say that to them.She's bad. You're good.They have to pay me back for my wedding deposits.This is all my fault.I should have... I should have just trusted her.So you're saying you still want to get married?Fine. Then I'll call her parentsand we'll straighten this whole thing out.I don't think she wants to marry me.And honestly...she deserves someone better.Rajesh, you need to stop being so hard on yourself.You're a good man.Y-You've never told me that.You're also a dope.That you've said.But your heart's in the right place,and you deserve happiness.So you just need to figure out what you want,and if that means cancelling the wedding, we cancel the wedding. Thank you.But figure it out quickly, or I'll be celebratingmy next birthday with a lot more elephantsand marigolds than I expected.And Leonard just stood there with a big, dumb smile on his face, like he was watching a puppy and a monkey make friends. Well, I can see how he'd be flattered to be asked.It's not flattering. It's creepy.Well, something can be both flattering and creepy.You know, just the other night, Sheldon said that my feet looked like Richard Feynman's hands.Really? So you'd be okayif someone wanted to use Sheldon as their sperm donor?Oh, absolutely not. I am the only handmaid in this tale.有生育能力的女人"使女"是被圈养的生殖机器So Leonard's really considering this?Yes. We got in a huge fight about it.He said, well, if I don't want to have his baby,then why shouldn't someone else be able to? Do you believe that? What?Well, there is a deep-seated biological driveto pass on your genes.It's only natural.So you're on his side?Well, viewing Leonard as a mammal,it's perfectly understandable.But viewing him as your husband, he stinks.And we hate him.Really? Zack wanted you to donateyour genetic material for his baby?Yeah. So I'd be helping out a couple who really want a baby, and they were gonna pay us, and Penny freaked out about it.- That doesn't make any sense. - I know.They wanted you?Yes, Sheldon, they wanted me.- I'm smart. I'm nice. - I'm smart. I'm nice.And I can eat cheese without clearing out a room.Are you upset he didn't ask you?Of course not. I just think it's interestingthat of all the people he knows,he thinks you're the best choice.Well, he does.I don't see why Penny is so against this.Well, perhaps Penny's worried that you haven't considered the emotional toll of knowing there's a child out therewho is biologically yours but not actually yours.Wow, that's really insightful.Yeah, I'm taller than you and I don't have asthma.Those people are crazy.Come on, I know you're there, and I know you know it's me. - You're just making this harder. - Look...you were right.I was doing this for the wrong reasons.You deserve to marry someone who knowshow amazing you are... and who proposesbecause he doesn't want to spend a single day without you. Not... not because he wants to catch up to his friends. Thank you.And I want you to know, I think I could be that man.Raj, I'm not gonna marry you.- I'm not asking you to. - Then why are you here? Because I like you.Okay? I like you.I-I like you enough to start this relationshipat the beginning, not in the middle.So...will you go out on a date with me?I don't know.I don't know.Okay.But I warn you,I just got out of a weird relationship,and I might complain about my ex a lot.Maybe he's being weird becausehe doesn't know how to ask for his ring back. Where you been?Just out.All right, look, um...I'm sorry that we fought before.I know this is a really unusual situation,and if you don't want me to do it, I won't. Really?Yeah.We're a team. We're in this together.I'll be right back.What is that?It's a sample cup.Really? 'Cause it looks like the top off the NyQuil bottle. It's the closest thing I could find.- It's a gesture. Shut up. - All right, sorry.So... are you saying you're okay with this?I don't know,but... when I told you I didn't want to have kids,you didn't have a say in that, so...maybe I don't need to have a say in this.Thank you.They couldn't have picked a better person.Are you calling Zack?No, Sheldon. Would you say that last part one more time? Oh, my...。

Previously on The Big Bang Theory...Want to grab some lunch?You know what? I don't think so.Oh, let me guess, you're not eatingbecause the mean girls circled your chubby bits in marker? No. That, that right there.That's the reason. You're always making fun of me.Those are just jokes.It's my way of saying that we're friends,and it wouldn't hurt you to drop a few.15 years of constant ridicule.I-I think our relationship has become toxic.What are you saying?I think you and I need to spend some time away from each other. Look, I...I can see you're upset, but...I'm gonna need some ground rules.While we're apart, can I see other needy Indian men?Get out!Get out!Oh, Stuart, two questions:Do you have the new Aquaman,and do you mind if I use your back room to smoke some meat? Well, since it's you asking,I'm gonna guess that's not a euphemism.Why are you smoking meat?And why are you reading Aquaman?I am trying to make Amy a historically accurateLittle House on the Prairie dinner for her birthday, and... 美国大西部拓荒风格儿童小说I want to be able to say I was reading it before it was cool. Wow, well, that's actually really sweet.The dinner thing. The Aquaman thing's dumb.直到新的电影中找了型男演出才翻身Isn't Halley's birthday the same as Amy's?Yeah, but we're not doing anything big 'cause she's one, Bernadette's on bed rest, andI'm lazy.Hey, guys.- Hello. - Hey.Howard.Raj.Excuse me.Really? Is this still happening?I'm willing to make up, but someone's being a baby.Ooh! I do love a riddle. Oh, let me see.See, my first guess would be Halley,but that'd be strange to accuse her of being a baby'cause she is a baby. Um...I suppose it could be Stuart;his head does have a certain milky scent. Although...I-It's me, Sheldon. He-He's calling me a baby.No, I don't know. I saw Leonard put his keys in his mouth today. You're a grown man; act like it.Big talk coming from a guy holding an Archie comic book.Big talk coming from a guy holding an Archie comic book. Hey, werewolf Jughead is not your dad's Jughead.Hey, werewolf Jughead is not your dad's Jughead.Come on, you guys have been friends forever. Quit fighting.I have an extra ticketto the opening of The Last Jedi tonight.It was gonna be Howard's, but you can have it.You two had a good run.Uh, who wants to go see Last Jedi again tonight?- Mm, I'm in. - Me, too.It'll be nice to see the parts I missed while I was blinking.Hey, guys, there's a change of plans.We are having a party for Halley's birthday after all.Turns out Bernadette and "Anyone who's not a heartless monster" thinks that's the right thing to do.I don't like kids, but I do like birthday cake.Oh, wait, will there be sugary icing flowers on it?I don't know.I'll risk it.But if I have a tantrum and have to leave early, you'll know why. - Here you go. - Here you go.See you two there.Are you kidding me?You're not gonna invite me to Halley's birthday?I'm her godfather; that means something.Or-- hear me out on this-- it doesn't.Okay, that's enough.This fight either has to end or get way more entertaining.Don't worry about it 'cause I'm done putting up with him!I know you have a lot on your mind,but when do you think we'll have an answer on those cake flowers? What you reading?Oh, it's your brother's Christmas letter.If there's a picture of his wife and his kidsand his dogs and his horses all in matching pajamas,I beg you to burn it.Aw, the people's pajamas have little horses on them,and the horses' have little people.It's just his chance to brag about how great his life is.Oh, come on, it's nice.You know that nonprofit he works with?They built a hospital in Rwanda.Look at me. I built a hospital in Rwanda.That is a good point. I hadn't thought of it that way.- Hello. - Hey.So this is for Amy's birthday. Can I leave it here?Sure. What is it?A butter churn.Aw, that's what I got her.It's for her surprise frontier birthday dinner.I am making hardtack, boiled salt pork,and because it's a special day, a chewable gob of tree sap.Is that good?Uh, compared to other foods, no.Compared to other parts of a tree?And then after dinner, we will have birthday coitus.Do you think that will also be historically accurate?I assume like the rest of frontier life,it'll be exhausting and short.You're exhausting and short.Hey, Stuart, you're coming to Halley's party, right?You bet.Plus, I live there and I was invited,so it's already better than my tenth birthday party.Great. Can you bring a few things?Sure. What do you need?Balloons, streamers,ice, snacks, a bounce house, face painter,and a couple kids whose parents are willing to lie and say they know me from the Daddy and Me class I've never been to. Where do you and Halley go every week?The important thing is we're together,and if the movie gets too violent, I cover her eyes.Don't stress about this party.She's one; she's not gonna remember.The other day I showed her her toe, and she was shocked. It's not for the baby; it's for Bernadette.She's feeling guiltyabout all the stuff she's missing with Halley.All right.Uncle Stuart's got your back.Ain't no party like a Stuart partybecause Stuart's never invited to parties.Did the electricity go out?I don't know what you mean by "electricity," Ma'am.I am just a farmer boy living in a little house on the prairie. I'm glad you're happy.I wanted to do something special for your birthday.Oh, you did, you did! It's perfect!You do know that my birthday's tomorrow, right?This is just step one of your birthday weekend.Now, would you care to join mefor an authentic frontier dinnermade entirely from scratch?I can't believe you did this. It's amazing!Oh, it's not a big deal.Just to be clear, it was a big deal.I was being modest. You got that, right?Loud and clear.Well, I hope you're hungry.Oh, I'm starving.Oh, good. Starvation is authentic to the time period.If you also have malariaand a deep distrust of Native Americans,we're really cooking with a woodstove.Is that butter?Yes. But don't blow it all on one biscuit.Took me nine hours to make that.I think I got churner's elbow.I know we only have coitus on my birthday,but I don't know if I can wait until midnight.Oh, well, you'll be glad you did.Everyone knows the best foreplayis rigid adherence to a strict schedule.Hey. What are you doing?Oh, I've decided to write my own Christmas letter.So I'm gonna make a list of all the cool things we did this year. Oh, fun. Can I help?Yes. Can you think of a single cool thing we did this year? Uh, well, both of our jobs are going great.Sure. I mean, my Air Force project got taken away,and you're not crazy about selling pharmaceuticals.I'll just write down "Still employed."Oh, we had our second anniversary.Uh, yeah, but we did kind of forget about it,so maybe just write "Still married."Great. Okay.Okay, that's a start.What else?You know, maybe this is enough.Let's look at our pictures; that-that'll jog our memories. What is that a picture of?Oh, uh, that's a mole on my back.I wanted to make sure it wasn't growing.How'd you get a picture of your own back?Sheldon took it. We're kind of mole buddies.Hey, that's a cute picture.Isn't that the day we almost went to the beach? Memorial Day?No, that was the day we almost went to the mountains. That's the great thing about California;you can almost go to the mountainsand almost go to the beach in the same day.Yeah.Look, I'm sorry about not inviting youto Halley's birthday. That wasn't cool.And of course we would love to have you. Here. Thank you.I'd really like to be there.Great, 'cause it's tomorrow, and I need you to plan it. What?Stuart was gonna help,but the free clinic had an open spot for a colonoscopy,and he jumped on it.So-so-so you're just apologizingbecause you need something?Yes, and I think it's pretty mature of me to admit it. Well, that's very insulting.Right again. Are you gonna help me or not?No, I will not help you.But I will help Halley.She's my goddaughter, and I love her.And I have a lot of party favorsleft over from Cinnamon's birthday, so...I hope she likes things that squeak when you chew on them. Sh-She's a human being, not an animal.But that actually would be a hit.Can I get you anything else?No, thanks. I think I'm good.You sure? There's still plenty of pork fat.Although, if we don't eat it,I suppose we could turn it into soap.That might taste better.I think I'm just gonna go over here and sit on the couch. Oh, great.Then we will move on to stage two:the pitching of woo.Ooh.Should I read you some bawdy 19th century limericks? Okay.Oh, here."There once was a priest from Terre Hautewho purchased a sheep and a goat..."Hold on a second.Is it getting hot in here?Well, I didn't even get to the dirty part yet.No, I-I'm serious.Do you think there was something wrong with that food? Frontier scallops? I shouldn't think so.My stomach's feeling a little weird.Yeah. Uh, mine, too.I'm sure it's just the first sharp cramps of arousal.No. Th-This doesn't feel right.Hey, hey, save that sexy talk for the bedroom.You know, if you'll excuse me,I am just going to go freshen up.Sheldon?I'll be out in a minute.I don't have a minute!I can't believe you pulled this all together overnight.Uh, if I had more time, I could have gotten the Blue Man Group. 表演时会浑身涂成蓝色One of them goes to my dry cleaner.Who, by the way, hates him.You really saved the day.Well, it's not for you. It's for Halley.And I'm sure she'd appreciate it,if she knew what's going on or who you are. Morning.Happy birthday.Yeah, sure.Did you sleep at all?No. You?I passed out on the toilet once.I don't know if that counts.Feel any better?I feel terrible.Well...should we make love now?How can you even think about sex?Hey, I'm a man; I have annual needs just like anyone. And besides, it's our birthday tradition.You think you can do itwhile I lie perfectly still and you don't touch me?I can try.Want to do it again?Morning.Morning."Kept Fern alive"? Who's Fern?No, the fern. The one in the bathroom.We're really calling that brown thing alive? Okay.So, how long have you been working on this?Oh, couple hours.I took a break to try to beat my high score on Mario Kart. Well, did you do it?Do you see it on the board?Okay, this is silly. Our lives are great.I think so, too.So then why is this bugging you so much?I guess it feels like everyone's moving forwardand we're stuck.What do you mean?Well, we've been married two years.Should we think about what's next?Like buying a house or having a baby?Look, I want to do all those things someday,but there's a bunch of stuff I want to do first.Okay, like what?I don't know, stay thin and have money.No, no, I-I'm serious.If there's things we want to do, let's start doing them. Okay. Well, we've never been on a big trip together.I would love that.Okay, there's something for your letter: "Considered going on a trip."It's just a day trip,but we could take the ferry out to Catalina.Great, let's do it.Amy's in the bathroom and I need to...!It's like I can hear the ocean already.Okay. Thanks for letting me know.Hey, what's going on?Bernadette's sister's kids are sick and they're not coming. But they're the whole reason the cupcakes are vegan!- How's the party coming? - Good!Great! Our friends should be here any second!Those are the only other people you invited?What about the kids from the Daddy and Me class? Oh, grow up.- Uh-oh. - What?I left the food out.You afraid it's gonna go good?How are you feeling?Ugh. My stomach aches, I got the chills,my mouth tastes weird,it hurts to swallow,and I've got a little double vision.Yeah.I'm feeling better, too.Well, this party's a disaster.Don't blame the party!You know how many favors I had to call inwith my bounce house guy to get Wonder Woman?Is that Wonder Woman?Technically, it's a Chinese knockoff calledHappy Strong Swimsuit Lady.Then I take it back; it's a great party.Well, you can sit here and sulk if you want.I'm gonna go celebrate Halley's first birthday.Which I planned with no help from you.What are you doing?It's a bounce house! I'm gonna go bounce in it!You're supposed to take your shoes off before you go in there! You know what?I'm stressed about my daughter's birthday party.I don't need your attitude.Well, I worked really hard on this,and you haven't even said thank you.Oh, I'm sorry. Thank you.Thank you for blaming mefor everything that's wrong in your life!Thank you for walking out on our friendship!You are welcome!And thank you for mocking me for all of these years!Thank you for making it so easy!Why are you being such a jerk?Because you're my best friend and you hurt my feelings! Well, you're my best friend and you hurt my feelings!I can't believe you shoved me!Well, I can't believe you shoved me!But it was kind of fun, wasn't it?!- It was! Do it again! - Gladly!Okay, now at the same time!Oh, oh, that was awesome!Yeah, okay, this time, knees, then feet.One, two, three.Again! Again!Hello.You made it.How you two feeling?Oh, a little better.Those books should have been calledLittle Outhouse on the Prairie.Halley's awake and ready for her party!Be right up!Ooh, I want to see the birthday girl.I'd love to see her.Walk slow, it takes a while to get this bra back on. You know...it's still your birthday.It is.And... we are both... feeling better.We are.And there's no one in that bounce house.No.Great.Let's go jump for a bit,and then find a bedroom to have coitus in.。

Previously on The Big Bang Theory... 《生活大爆炸》前情提要- What's this? - Oh, nothing, -这是什么 -没什么just some math we don't need. 一些我们用不着的数学This is a different approach. 这是另一种方案You trying to get the guidance system even smaller? 你们是想把这个导向系统做得更小吗It's just a... theory. 这只是纸上谈兵Well, it's not even worked out. 都还没算出来呢I want this. 我要这个方案Uh, but we've already met the agreed upon specs. 但我们已经做到之前约定的规格了Going smaller would require weeks' worth of new computations.将规格变小需要花好几周重新计算So get the kid with the two shirts to do it. 那就让那个长袖套短袖的小孩做啊Sir, I mean, if I may, 长官请容许我说一句uh, we've put a lot of thought and effort 我们已经花费大量的心思和功夫into this current prototype. 在现在这台原型机上It's a really elegant solution, 这真的是一个完美的方案了and most importantly, it works. 最重要的是它可以实现You both make excellent points. 你们俩说得都非常有道理And thank you for presenting it so articulately. 感谢你们如此清晰地表达出来Make this. 把这个方案做出来Make this. 时至今日Champagne, 香槟- champagne, - Thank you. -香槟 -谢谢and for the world's tallest second grader, apple juice. 以及全世界身高最高二年级生的苹果汁No bendy straw, some party. 连可弯曲吸管都没有好一个派对啊Hey, a-a toast. 敬个酒Thank you all for your support 谢谢你们在while we worked on our Air Force project. 我们做这个空军项目时给予的各种支持And please know that 希望你们明白we could not have done it without you, 我们的成功有你们的一份功劳so cheers. 干杯Cheers. 干杯You know, it's nice of you to acknowledge us, 很感激你愿意答谢我们but this is your accomplishment. 但这是属于你们的成就Yeah, you guys did this all on your own. 对啊你们仨齐心协力把它完成了Without me. 三缺一To success without Raj. 敬抛下拉杰并获取成功一杯So what happens next? 那接下来呢Phase two, 第二阶段we test it, perfect it, 测试它再完善它and hope to live long enough to see the movie 然后祈祷自己命长到足以based on our lives starring more attractive versions of us.看到由超帅气演员来扮演我们的传记电影Yeah, I'll definitely live long enough-- 我肯定能活够久vitamin C. 维他命CFirst thing tomorrow morning, we're back at it. 明早第一件事就是我们仨继续开工Without me. 继续三缺一I hope his character doesn't make it into the movie; 希望他这个角色不会被写进电影里he's kind of a bummer. 太扫兴了Leonard Hofstadter. 莱纳德·霍夫斯塔德Access granted. 允许进入I don't care if this thing's burning out my retinas; 就算这玩意会烧掉我的视网膜也没关系it makes me feel special. 它让人家感觉好特别Now, before we field test, I think we... 在我们实地测试前我们...What the hell? 什么鬼Where is everything? 东西都去哪了Who else has access to this room? 还有谁有进入许可It's a secure lab in a classified facility; 这是机密建筑里的安全实验室only the U.S. Government and us. 只有美国政府与我们才可进入This is very disconcerting. 好令人不安啊But the movie did just get good. 但我们的电影一下就精彩了起来Sir, I-I-I'm sorry but I just don't get it. 长官抱歉但我就是想不明白Y-You came into our lab in the middle of the night 你大半夜跑进我们的实验室and took our prototype and all of our research 拿走我们的原型机与实验成果and didn't even tell us? 完全不知会我们一声吗Sounds like you get it. 听起来你已经想明白了啊Well, why would you do that? 你为什么要这么做You guys completed phase one, we'll take it from here. 你们完成了第一阶段剩下我们来接手就行Where did you move it? 你把东西转移到哪里了I can't tell you that. 无可奉告Are you implementing phase two? 你要施行第二阶段计划吗I can't tell you that. 无可奉告Wait, so you're just going to take all the work 所以你打算抢走我们we've done for the last year and toss us aside? 去年一整年的成果然后把我们一脚踢开That one I can tell you, yes. 这个我能告诉你们是的This is all very upsetting. 这好令人伤心啊I'm sorry to hear that. 听到你伤心我也很遗憾As you know, the primary focus of the United States military 毕竟美国军方的主要焦点就放在is people's feelings. 照顾人民情感上了If that's sarcasm, please save it for our enemies. 如果你是在讽刺请留去讽刺我国的敌人Well, I may be moving out soon. 我可能很快就搬走了I think I found a place to live. 我找到地方住了Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. 真不想听到你要搬走Really? 真心的吗You kept sending me apartment listings. 你一直给我发公寓租赁广告Um... well, I... 这个嘛我...yeah, you got me. 好吧我无力反驳Where are you moving? 你要搬去哪里And when? But a-also where? 什么时候搬还有搬去哪里Bert has a room for rent. 伯特有一间房出租So you're gonna be roommates with Bert? 所以你要跟伯特当室友吗Uh, no, it's, uh, pretty private, actually, 不是其实那房间挺私密的it's over his garage. 在他的车库楼上So the only time I'll see him is when he pulls his car in,所以我唯一会见到他的时间是他停车进来does his laundry or practices drums in my dining room. 洗衣服或在我餐厅练鼓的时候Well, good for you. 那挺好的I actually have a little news myself. 其实我也有个消息要分享Okay, we're just gonna circle back to when he's moving out? 好吧话题会回到他什么时候搬走吗Okay, that's cool. 算了没关系I was, uh, asked to be a visiting researcher at Princeton. 我受邀赴普林斯顿大学任访问学者Hey, that's amazing. 太厉害了- Good for you. - Congratulations. -真棒 -恭喜你Thanks, but the thing is I'll be gone for a few months 谢谢但问题是我得离开几个月and I don't know how Sheldon's gonna feel about that. 我不知道谢尔顿会对此作何感想Oh, come on, he's a grown man, he can take care of himself. 拜托他是个成年人完全可以照顾自己You really believe that? 你真的这么认为吗Once again, you got me. 我再次无力反驳How can you work on something for a year 你努力了一年的心血and they just take it? 他们怎么可以就这样夺走I can't believe the Air Force would treat us like that. 真不敢相信美国空军会这样对我们You know, I have a good mind to stop paying my taxes. 我很想从今天开始不再交税It's too bad I enjoy doing them so much. 我超享受计算税费的过程可惜了The Air Force did it again. 美国空军又出手了They're erasing our lives! 他们要抹去我们的生活Third floor, wrong apartment. 这是三楼走错公寓了Although, if anyone's gonna clean out your apartment 不过如果有人要把你们公寓清空and disappear, it'd be Penny. 然后消失那人一定是佩妮She might disappear, 她可能会消失but she's definitely not cleaning anything. 但要想她会清任何东西那是不可能的It's okay, everything's here. 没事一切都在Oh, hey, what's going on? 发生什么事了You won't believe it; 说了你们也不会信the military confiscated our project. 军方没收了我们整个项目- What? - You're kidding. -什么 -开玩笑吧Why would they do that? 他们为什么要这么做They wouldn't say. 无可奉告I feel so betrayed. 我深深地觉得被背叛了You know, all my life I thought Uncle Sam was a friendly uncle我此生一直以为山姆大叔[美国政府]是who brought you presents. 友好会送人礼物那种大叔Turns out he's the other kind. 结果他恰恰相反Sheldon, I'm so sorry. 谢尔顿真是太遗憾了Thank you. Can we just talk about something else? 多谢关心我们能聊点别的吗Yeah, what's going on with you guys? 对啊你们有什么消息要分享吗Give us some good news. 给我们来点好消息Amy's got some news. 艾米有话说Yeah, um... 是的Raj is moving out. 拉杰要搬走了Oh, no. 不要啊When? 什么时候You doing okay? 你还好吧Not really. 不好Want me to put on some Neil Diamond? 用我给你放尼尔·戴蒙德的歌吗Want me to put on some Neil Diamond? 美国杰出老牌歌手That always makes you feel better. 你每次听了都会开心点No. 不用了Then you'll get all sexed up and I'm not in the mood. 你听一听就会开始发情而我现在没心情I mean, an entire year wasted. 整整一年都白费了You might be forgetting another accomplishment of the past year.你或许忘记了去年你还有一项成就Yeah, yeah, we brought life into the world. 是是是我们还将一个小生命带来人世Really? 不是吧That's the importance you put on us having a baby? 你就这么形容我们生孩子的重要性吗I'm happy about it, but, I mean, it's not like I did much. 我对此当然开心啊但我又没怎么出力I mean, after the first three minutes 我是说前三分钟过后it was pretty much all you. 剩下的都是你的功劳So, did you tell him about Princeton yet? 你跟他说了去普林斯顿大学的事了吗No, I'm waiting till he's in a good mood. 还没我想等他心情好时再说Oh, sweetie, you might not live that long. 亲爱的那你可能活不到那个时候I don't know, maybe I shouldn't go. 我不知道或许我不该走Oh, stop it, he'll be fine. 别闹了他会没事的I guess. 应该吧And he'll have you and Leonard 反正他还有你和莱纳德right across the hall the whole time. 你们就住在对门Oh, damn, wait, you know, maybe you shouldn't go... 糟糕等等或许你不该走Got to go. 挂了啊Morning. 早上好I apologize for exceeding my allotted bathroom time. 我为占用超过分配好的如厕时间道歉Are you feeling okay? 你还好吗Not really. 不好Apparently grief can make one less regular. 显然悲伤会影响人如厕的规律性Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. 听到这个消息我也很难过No, I sat and I sat, but to no avail. 我坐在马桶上等了又等但徒劳无功Oh, the-the more details, the more sorry. 细节越多我越难过Well, maybe this'll cheer you up. 或许这个能让你开心一点I made your favorite oatmeal... 我做了你最喜欢的燕麦片plain. 什么都没加What's the occasion? 今天是什么好日子啊No occasion, I just wanted to do something nice for you. 没什么我只是想做点让你开心的事You're so kind. 你人真好You know, I don't know how I ever got by without you. 真不知道认识你之前我是怎么活过来的That's sweet, but you... you did just fine on your own. 你嘴真甜但你之前一个人也活得好好的Well, I thought that, too, 我本来也以为是这样but I've come to realize, I am completely dependent on you. 但我逐渐意识到我对你十分依赖Sheldon, you're, you're being silly. 谢尔顿说什么傻话No, to wake up every morning and know you're there 不每天早上醒来知道你在身边is a great comfort to me. 我都感到很安心Mmm, tasteless. 寡淡无味How do you do it? 你手艺怎么那么巧You know, what you need to do is 你现在要做的就是put this Air Force project behind you 忘掉这个空军项目and just dive into something new. 把精力投入新的研究Well, there is our quantum cognition experiment. 倒是可以投入我们的量子认知试验You and I could spend more time on that. 我和你可以多花点时间在那上面Oh, I don't know, 我说不好I mean, let's say we succeed in proving 就算我们成功证明了that our consciousness creates reality. 我们的意识创造现实I mean, what will we have really accomplished? 那也算不上什么伟大成就You know, a loaf of bread's still three bucks. 一块面包还是卖三块钱啊I'm confused. 我不懂了You're always saying that you want to spend more time with me.是你总说希望有更多时间和我相处That is true, I have said that. 对我是这么说过Well, a lot, it's very annoying. 你整天说真的很烦Has something changed? 发生什么变化了吗Um, is there something that you're not telling me? 你是不是有事瞒着我I was offered a summer research fellowship at Princeton.我得到了普林斯顿大学的夏季研究奖学金Princeton? 普林斯顿吗A fine institution. 很不错的大学The place where Albert Einstein taught. 阿尔伯特·爱因斯坦教过书的地方And where Leonard got his PhD, 莱纳德也是在那里拿到博士学位so it may have gone downhill. 所以那学校可能没落了Yeah, that's the one. 对就是那所Well, that's wonderful. 这是很棒的消息Congratulations. 恭喜你Well, I-I haven't accepted it yet. 我还没接受I wanted to talk to you first. 我想先跟你商量一下Wh-What is there to talk about? 有什么好商量的You have to take it. It's important. 你必须接受这很重要So are you. 你也很重要Thank you, but I'll be fine. 谢谢但我不会有事的Are-are you sure? 你确定吗Yes. I may have lost my guidance system and my girlfriend, 是的虽然我可能失去了导向系统和女友but I still have a colon full of yesterday's meals 但我结肠里还有昨天吃的食物to keep me company. 陪伴着我Although, thanks to your high-fiber breakfast, 不过因为你做的高纤早餐I'm sure that'll be leaving me, too. 它们很快也要离我而去了Really? 真的吗He doesn't put raisins or banana slices or anything in it?他都不往里面加葡萄干或香蕉片那些吗I don't think plain oatmeal was the point of that story. 我觉得纯燕麦不是这件事的重点I mean, I like a little brown sugar... 我是喜欢加点红糖啦Guys. 姐妹们- Sorry. - Sorry. -抱歉 -不好意思You're still gonna go, right? 你还是会去的吧I don't know. 我也不知道Sheldon's so vulnerable right now. 谢尔顿现在那么脆弱Oh, come on. Look, if the roles were reversed, 听着如果你们角色调换he'd be on the first train to New Jersey, 他会马上坐第一班火车去新泽西or the second train if there were teenagers on the first one. 如果第一班上有青少年的话他会搭第二班Well, distance might be nice. 再说距离不见得是坏事啊The last time a big project ended for Howie, 上次华仔完成一个大型项目后he wouldn't stop following me around. 我到哪儿他都要跟着He even went with me to get a mammogram. 我去做乳腺X光检查他也要一起去Well, what's wrong with that? 那有什么问题No, he wanted to get one with me, 他想跟我一起做检查like some kind of weird couple's massage. 跟某种诡异的情侣按摩似的And yet you bore his child. Neato. 然而你还是给他生了孩子厉害You're excited about this opportunity, right? 你还是对这个机会感到兴奋的对吧Of course. I get to be part of the first team 当然了我能成为第一组to use radon markers to map the structures that... 使用氡标记来映射结构...Okay, a simple yes will do. 行了说"是的"就够了You have to go. 你一定要去I know, but what if Sheldon... 我知道可如果谢尔顿...Okay, listen to me. Your relationship can handle 听我说就算分隔两地一阵子being long distance for a while. 你们俩的感情也不会受影响It's not like you two are very physical. 你们俩本来"亲密"接触也不多Hey, you don't know what goes on behind closed doors. 你又不知道我们关起门来都干了什么A lot of lectures? 总给你讲课吗All right, so you know. 看来你还真知道I'm telling you, if you don't go 相信我如果你不去you'll end up regretting it. 你会后悔一辈子- Wait up! ?- Oh, great. -等等我 -又来了You left something at home. 你有东西忘记带了哦A big hug! 人家的爱心大抱抱I found it right next to these kisses. 还有人家的爱心小亲亲It's too late for me. 我已经没救了Save yourself. 你快逃吧So, are you excited to have your own place again? 又要有自己的窝了开心吗I am, but I'll miss you guys. 开心不过我会想你们的Ah, we'll miss you, too. 我们也会想你的Wha... you could try saying that without smiling. 那...你说这话时能把那抹窃笑抑制住吗I'm trying. This is the best I can do. 我努力过了实在是忍不住呀What are you doing? 你在干什么What does it look like? 你们看起来这像什么I'm playing sad harmonica... 我在吹奏悲伤的口琴曲in an apartment as empty as my heart. 在一间四壁空空犹如我心空空的公寓里Why? 发生什么事了I got the blues. 人家忧郁了My baby done left me. 我的宝贝要离我而去Come on, Sheldon. 拜托谢尔顿Amy's only gone for a few months. 艾米不过是去几个月而已And now that I'm moving out, your old room is empty, 现在我搬走了你的旧房间也空出来了so you can stay there whenever you want. 你随时随地都可以回去住啊Uh, could I talk to you in the hall for a sec? 能和你在过道上聊两句吗Yeah, sure. 可以呀Sheldon, you're being silly. 谢尔顿你别犯傻了Am I? 我在犯傻吗Yesterday I had an Air Force project, 昨天我还在负责空军项目a girlfriend who lived with me, 有个同居的女友and my good friend Raj right across the hall. 好朋友拉杰就住在我对门Do you really care about that last one? 你真的在意最后这一点吗No, but that list was sounding a little thin. 不在意他是给我这单子凑数的Instead of dwelling on the negative, think about this. 别光想不好的事换个角度看问题Your girlfriend was given an amazing opportunity, 你的女朋友得到了如此珍贵的机会which gives you an opportunity 也让你可以借机向她to show her that you're a loving and supportive boyfriend. 展现你是个能给她爱与支持的男友So trick her. 所以要唬弄她All right, let me start again. 让我重新说一遍Uh... you and Amy... 你和艾米Can I get my stuff? 我能先把东西拿出来吗Sounds like it's gonna be a while. 听起来你们还得聊好长一段时间呢I missed you. 人家好想你Come here, let's talk. 过来我们聊聊Ooh. Sounds serious. 听起来很严重Have I been a bad boy? 是我做错事了吗Am I gonna get a spanking 你要打人家的小屁股了吗- 'cause you know I... - Just listen. -你知道我... -安静听我说I don't know if you realize this, 我不知道你有没有发现but whenever you're between projects, 但每次你手上没有项目时you tend to get a little insecure. 你就变得没有安全感A little clingy. 有点黏人I know and I'm sorry. 我知道人家错错啦Oh, oh, oh, okay, stop. 好了好了住手Stop. 停下来I love when you're affectionate, 我喜欢你情深款款的时候but this is not coming from a good place. 但你这不是正常的反应Well, excuse me, 哎哟喂but what did you do when you worked on that allergy drug 那你上次花了两年时间研发过敏药for two years and the FDA shut down your project? 最后研究却被药监局枪毙时呢I signed us up for ballroom dance class. 我替咱俩报名了交际舞的课Okay, and what did you do 很好还有你那一次when they took you off the antifungal team? 被踢出抗真菌团队的时候呢I made us have a baby. 我逼着你让我怀孕了So? 所以结论是Bring it in. 放马过来吧And now the movie just got rated "R." 本电影刚刚被评为限制级You going somewhere? 你要去哪里吗No, but you are, 不是你要走so I got you this as a present. 所以我送你这个作为礼物Sheldon, that isn't necessary. 谢尔顿你不用这么做No, it is. 不我需要Leonard pointed out to me 莱纳德告诉我that I'm not always a loving and supportive boyfriend,我并不是一个时常能给予你爱与支持的男朋友so here's some quality luggage. 所以我给你买了高质量的行李箱Thank you. 谢谢The salesman said it could survive a plane crash, so... 售货员说坠机这箱子都不会摔坏所以... Perhaps you should fly inside it. 也许你应该坐在箱子里面飞Does this mean you're okay with me going? 这是说你同意我离开吗Well, I'm not looking forward to it, 我并不期待but it is a wonderful opportunity 但这是千载难逢的机会and you need to take it. 你必须接受Besides, Princeton is in New Jersey, 而且普林斯顿在新泽西so it's not like you're gonna want to stay. 所以我也不用怕你想落地生根Uh, I know it's not your birthday, 我知道今天不是你的生日but if you're interested... 但如果你有性趣...- I am. - Okay. -我有 -好Oh, and just to be clear, 我得说清楚I'm not being intimate with you in order to keep you from going. 我和你亲热并不是为了把你留下I wasn't thinking that. 我没这样想Well, no, it's just, I'm just warning you, you know, 不我只是警告你if you find yourself 3,000 miles away 当你发现自己在五千公里之外and craving a-a hit of this, you know... 渴望得到这诱人的身躯...I can't Skype it to you. 我不能通过视频给你That's a risk I'm willing to take. 我愿意冒这个险All right, then. 那好吧Let's go to the bedroom, remove our clothes, 我们进卧室除去衣衫fold them neatly... 叠得整整齐齐...and engage in frenzied lovemaking. 再开始狂野性爱What if we don't fold our clothes at all? 如果我们不叠衣服呢I'd... or... 我...或者what if we fold them? 如果我们叠起来呢Well, here's your key back. 钥匙还给你们Thank you. 谢谢As soon as I have the place set up I'm gonna have you guys over.我把家里布置好就请你们过去玩Oh, we would love that. 感谢邀请I really can't thank you enough for taking me in. 你们收留我我真是感激不尽You know, I was in a pretty low place in my life, and... 我处在人生的低谷还有...Oh, Amy, you naughty vixen. 艾米你这个顽皮的小妖精Anyway, uh, as I was saying, 总之我刚说到I was at a pretty low place in my life and, uh, 我处在人生的低谷中还有if it wasn't for friends like you... 如果没有你们这样的朋友My goodness, that form of stimulation 我的天这种刺激方式is highly efficient. 太高效了I can't compete with that. Bye. 哥比不过他们拜Should we give them their privacy? 我们应该给他们点隐私吗I want to, but I don't think I can. 我想但我做不到- Whoopee! - Okay, I'm good now. -爽 -好了听够了Okay, the car is waiting. 车在等我Do you want to walk me downstairs? 你要送我下楼吗Of course. 当然Here, here, let me. 让我来拿I've been doing a little research on New Jersey, 我对新泽西做了下调研and I was delighted to learn 我很高兴地得知that their chief agricultural product is sod. 他们的主要农产品是草皮- Is it? - Hmm, yes. -是吗 -没错Yeah, perhaps I've been harder on them than they deserve. 也许我以前对他们的态度太严厉了Do you think it's possible 你觉得有没可能you might enjoy being on your own for a little while? 你会享受一段独处的时光呢It's hard to say. 很难说I've never really lived by myself. 我从来没真正一个人住过What if I become strange and eccentric? 如果我变得古怪又神经怎么办I'll love you no matter what. 无论怎样我都爱你Howard Hughes saved his urine in milk bottles. 比如霍华德·休斯把自己的尿存在牛奶瓶里Howard Hughes saved his urine in milk bottles. 电影制片人导演企业家We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. 真有这天船到桥头自然直- And you'll text me when you arrive at the airport? - I will. -你到机场后会发短信给我吗 -会And when you're at the gate? 到登机口也会吗And if you see any actors from Game of Thrones in first class?如果你在头等舱看到《权力的游戏》里的演员呢I don't know what they look like, but sure. 我不知道他们的样子不过我会的- And don't forget to Skype me when you arrive. - I won't. -到了后别忘跟我视频 -好的- And every morning. - Got it. -每天早上 -明白Now of course, my 9:00 A.M. is your noon, 当然我这边9点你那边已经是中午了so let's avoid the whole "Good morning," 咱们直接避免"早上好""Good afternoon" minefield, "中午好"的误区and let's just say, "Hello." 直接说"你好"吧Good thinking. 想得真周到And just remember, I am proud of you 记住我为你感到骄傲and I support you in all that you do. 你做什么我都支持你Thank you. That means a lot. 谢谢你意义重大Oh, and one last thing. 还有一件事If you find yourself working with a male scientist 如果你在工作中碰到一位男性科学家who's as smart as me, as tall as me 他和我一样聪明一样高大and has hair like Thor, 留着雷神索尔的发型well, then I want you to step away from the situation 我要你马上远离现场and call me immediately. 立刻给我打电话。

Ooh, it's freezing out here. 外面要冷死人啦Would you like me to... heat things up? 那你想要我为两人... "加温"一下吗No, I want to get in the hot tub before I lose a toe. 不我想在冻掉脚趾前先进浴缸里Oh. That is bright! 这好亮啊Yeah, a new neighbor put in floodlights. 是啊新来的邻居装的照明灯So, shall we? 行要下水了吗No. I don't want to take my robe off under a spotlight. 不要我才不想在聚光灯下宽衣解带This is a candle body. 本姑娘的身体只能在烛光下看Howdy, neighbors! 好哇邻居们We haven't met yet. I'm Andy. 我们还没见过面我叫安迪Oh. Hello. Nice to meet you. 你好幸会啊You know, your new balcony kind of looks right over our fence.你家新的阳台对我家有点一览无遗啊You might want to put up some trees. We can see everything. 你们可以考虑一下种点树我们能看到一切You can, but it's okay if you don't. 看得到但不代表非得看So, can you turn your lights off? 能麻烦您把灯关掉吗Sorry, they're motion-sensored. 抱歉是运动感应灯They'll go off in a minute. Just try to stay still. 很快就会自己关掉你们保持不动一会就行What are we gonna do about this? 这事我们该怎么办I say we wait until his lights go off, 我觉得我们就等到灯自己关掉and then I make hot, motionless love to you. 然后我跟你来一场火辣无动的性爱Don't move. It's go time. 别动上场时间到啦And his new balcony looks right down on our hot tub, 他家的新阳台能俯瞰我家的按摩浴缸which meant we couldn't do anything. 而我们一点办法都没有So you gave your kids Benadryl for nothing? 所以孩子没事你也给他们吃镇静晕车药啊Why do I share with you? You're such a yenta. 我干嘛要跟你分享这些事你就是个长舌妇Are we done talking about 我们还没聊完Howard's failed conjugal relations? 霍华德失败的夫妻关系吗I have an actual Nobel Prize crisis to deal with. 我有个事关诺贝尔奖的危机得解决呢Has anything changed since the last time you talked about it? 从你上一次说这事至今情况有任何变化吗Is there anything you can do about it?--没有- No. 有任何你能做的事吗-Then shut up or go wait in the car!--没有- No. - 那就闭嘴不然就去坐车上等Excuse me. 打扰了Remember you all came here to check out my cool new laser?还记得你们来是要看我的酷炫新激光吗Oh, right. I'm gonna go wait in the car. 对哦那我先上车等了The best part is that it's europium-based, so... 它最赞的地方就是以铕为...And then Andy said if we want privacy, 然后安迪说如果我们想要隐私we should plant some trees. 我们应该去种点树The only way I know how to do that is to give a dollar 我唯一知道的种树方法就是捐一块钱and a tree shows up in Israel. 以色列的某处就有人帮我种树Okay. Anyway, so because it's europium-based... 言归正传由于是以铕元素为...Hey. I need some help with a meteorite I found. 我找到的一颗陨石需要人帮忙Ah. I'd be happy to. 我很乐意帮忙Oh, no, I meant Raj. 不是你我是想找拉杰I really need an astrophysicist. 我很需要一位天体物理学家的帮忙This is exactly like a dream I had. 这跟我一个梦里的场景一模一样Except in the dream, you're Gal Gadot. 除了在那梦中你是盖尔·加朵[美女演员]I don't really have dreams, when I sleep or in life. 我这人没什么梦睡觉中还是现实生活中都没有Anyway... 反正呢...I X-rayed this meteorite, and it looks like there's 我用X光照了这个陨石感觉上some sort of organic signature inside of it, 它的内里貌似含有某种有机特质but I could really use another opinion. 我想请其他人来看看有何想法Well, great. Let's go check it out. 没问题我们去看看吧Cool. I'm gonna stay here and show Howard... 很好我就留在这里给霍华德展示...I want to see it! 我也想看Okay. Well, thanks for stopping by. 行吧感谢你们来这一趟啊Screw them. That's cool. 管他们的这个酷爆了Hey, I'm not sure we're in the right line. 我不确定我们该来的是不是这里- Is this for the city zoning office? - Yes, it is. -这里是城市分区局吗 -是的Or, as we call it here, "The zone zone." 或者是我们这里称呼的"区区"No, we don't. 我们没有这么称呼That's Linda. 刚说话的是琳达Ignore her. She's going through the change. 别理她她年纪到了在某"期"间Now, how can I help you? 有何能为两位效劳呢Our neighbor built a balcony 我们的邻居加盖了一个阳台that looks right into our backyard, and we're trying to see 能直接看进我家后院我们想知道if there's anything we can do about it. 能不能做任何事来阻止他Well, you have come to the right place. 那你们真是来对地方了You know, a lot of people handle this type of thing online, 很多人都是在网上处理这种事情but I always say nothing beats the human touch. 但我总说没有什么比真人接触更棒的了Oh, but don't worry. 你们放心I'm not gonna actually touch you. 我不会真的要触碰你们We had quite the informative meeting on that. 我们为这个举办过富含教育意义的研讨会了We just want a little privacy in our backyard. 我们只是想要在后院能有些隐私You know, for... 你懂的... 要...Maybe we should've done this online. 或许我们就应该在网上弄No, no, no, no. The zone zone is a safe zone. 别啊区区是个能安心分享的区Stop saying "Zone zone"! 别再说"区区"了So, is there anything we can do? 所以我们有任何能做的事情吗Absolutely. Do you know if they have permits for the balcony? 当然啦你知道他们加盖阳台有没有许可吗Oh, no. We were hoping you could check. 不知道我们还希望你能帮我们查呢I certainly can. I just need you to fill out a form, 我的确可以只需要你们填一张表and we have them available in Armenian, Chinese, 我们这里有提供亚美尼亚语中文Cambodian, English, Farsi, Korean, Spanish and Vietnamese. 柬埔寨语英文波斯语韩文西班牙语与越南语的表格Well, English, obviously. 很明显我们要一份英文版的Well, we're not allowed to presume. 我们不允许先入为主That was a whole other meeting. 另一场深刻的研讨会谈过这事So we just fill out the form and that's it? 我们只需要填那张表就行了吗Oh, no. No, you need to fill it out, 不不只你们得先填好and then you need to bring it down to the Office of Code Compliance.然后得拿去建筑许可局那边Now, if your neighbors don't have a permit, 如果你们的邻居没有许可证you can file an official complaint, but if they do have a permit, 你就可以提出正式投诉但如果他们有许可then you have to make the case that the balcony constitutes 那你就得提出那阳台有a nuisance, an encumbrance or an encroachment, 妨碍利益造成产权负担或侵占土地的证据and you have to decide which, 而且你得决定是哪一种because they are three totally separate forms. 因为那是三种完全不同的表格This is starting to seem like more trouble than it's worth. 开始感觉这事费力又讨不了好啊I know, right? 对啊就是说啊-Yeah.你还好吧-- You okay? - 没事Great, 'cause you just bought that whole row of Batmans. 那就好因为你刚把这一排《蝙蝠侠》全包了Sorry, I... 抱歉了我...And now you bought Aquaman. Good choice. 现在你还买了《水行侠》好眼光If you want cold medicine, 如果你想要感冒药Stuart has the entire run of DayQuils, 斯图尔特有全系列某牌感冒药including the rare "DayQuilt" misprint from 1996. 包含罕见的1996年的错印版本What can I say? I'm a collector. 我能说什么我是个收藏家Thanks, but I'm fine. I think it's just allergies. 谢谢但我没事啦应该只是过敏-Hey.-大家好啊- Hi, guys. - 你来啦Oh, heads up. 先说一下If that Aquaman feels wet, it's not a gimmick. 如果《水行侠》湿湿的不是特殊营销手段Leonard sneezed on it. 是莱纳德打喷嚏在上面了-Uh, it's just allergies.你生病了吗-- You sick? - 应该只是过敏Oh. So, check it out. 你听我说This meteorite that Bert found is really cool. 伯特发现的这个陨石超屌We did a spectrographic analysis, and there's... 我们对它做了光谱分析它...there's definitely something going on inside. 里面绝对大有玄机Well, hey, I-if you want, 那... 如果你们需要we could use my new laser to cut it open. 可以用我的新激光来把它切开啊Well, thanks, but Bert's got this water-cooled, 谢谢好意但伯特有这台水冷的diamond-bladed saw. 金刚石锯Well, sure, but with my laser, you'd get a thinner slice, 行吧但用我的激光你就能得到更薄的切片which would make for a better sample. 这样的样本质量也更好You're not gonna cut open a meteor, are you? 你们不会是想要切开一颗陨石吧Have you not learned anything from comic books? 你们没从漫画里学到任何教训吗Space viruses? Pod people? 太空病毒外星人I sell nothing but warnings. 我这里卖的全都是血淋淋的警告啊C-Calm down, Stuart. 冷静啊斯图尔特You're being a little crazy. 你有点发神经Oh, is he? Is he being crazy? 他有吗他有神经吗Or is he the only one around here who's making any sense?还是他是在场唯一脑子清醒的那一个It's nice they found each other. 他们能找到彼此真是太好了Yeah. Uh, so, anyway, you want to use my laser? 是啊话说回来你想用我的激光吗Eh, sorry. It's kind of Bert's thing, 抱歉这算伯特的项目and he wants to do it his way, so... 他想用他的方式所以...Okay. 行Yeah, that's cool. 没事啦Just seems dumb to not use the laser. 只是觉得不用激光有点蠢Not as dumb as unleashing a plague on mankind, 哪能比得上释放太空瘟疫蠢呢but, hey, what do we know? 但我们懂个什么啊Literally nothing. 什么都不懂We spent half the day down at the city planning office,我们今天花了半天时间泡在城市规划局and didn't solve a thing. 什么都没解决Now we have to go back tomorrow. 我们明天还得再回去一趟The planning office? You lucky ducks. 规划局吗你们俩真幸福Yeah, this one made me go for ice cream 这家伙就让我一起去买冰激凌and talk about her day. 然后聊她一天发生的事Spoiler alert: it was fine. 剧透警告她没事It wasn't fine. I got trapped in an elevator. 哪里没事我被困在电梯里了I may have missed a few details. 我可能漏听了一点细节The bottom of my cone was drippy. 那时我的冰激凌底开始漏了So now we have to download all these forms and fill them out.我们得下载那些表格然后全填了We get it. Your life is great. Stop rubbing it in. 我们都听懂了你们很幸福别再显摆了Yeah, quit it. 对啊别晒幸福了Is one of the forms the 599B/C? 其中一个表格是编号599B/C的吗Because, if so, it has a doozy of a typo. 如果是这份上面有可多错别字了I don't know. 我不知道All right, well, I don't want to spoil anything, 好吧我也不想剧透什么but you might want to start practicing your "Siglature."但你们最好开始练习一下自己的"谦名"Sheldon, if you like this stuff, 谢尔顿如果你喜欢这类东西- why don't you come and do it with us? - Or instead of us? -你何不跟我们一起去呢 -或替我们去Do you mean it? 你们是真心的吗No, no, wait, it's too late. You can't take it back. Yes. 不不太晚了你们不能收回我答应Well, Amy, looks like the elevator 艾米感觉被困电梯里might have been the high point of your day. 有可能是你今日的心情巅峰啊Hey, where's Raj? 拉杰呢Uh, he's working with Bert. 他跟伯特在合作项目They're probably cutting their stupid meteorite open 估计他们正在用傻逼金刚石锯with their stupid diamond saw. 切开那颗傻逼陨石down.Yeah. I'm just a little run--- Are you okay? - 没事只是有点流鼻水-你没事吧It might be a head cold. 有可能是小伤风吧Purell. 洗手液Purell. 洗手液Purell. 洗手液Purell. 洗手液Can I top anybody off? 有人还要续洗手液吗It's just so frustrating. 真的好不爽啊I-I know my laser would be way more efficient. 我知道用我的激光肯定更有效率They're gonna lose so much meteorite due to kerf loss. 他们会因为切割损失浪费很多陨石Mm. I'm sorry your friends won't let you play kerf with them. 很心疼你朋友不跟你一起玩切割Don't make it sound childish. 别说得好像哄小孩It's the scientific word for dust. 那词的意思是灰啦What was wrong with "dust"? 那为什么不直说"灰"就好了呢Are you sure you're not just a little jealous? 你确定你不是只是嫉妒吗No. It's just, my way is better, but they won't even consider it. 才不是呢我的方法更好但他们考虑都不考虑Oh, well, it's their loss. Look, why don't you go to bed. 那这样是他们的损失你先上床睡觉吧Ah, it's okay.--- I'll run out and get you some medicine. 不用-我出去给你买点药Stuart gave me some when I was at the comic book store.我在漫画店的时候斯图尔特给我了一点Really? You're taking medicine from Stuart? 不是吧你从斯图尔特手里拿药吗Doesn't he need, like, all of it? 他难道不是每一颗药都很关键吗Mm, he's got plenty. 他有很多啦His pill caddy is, like, this big. 他的药盒有这么大呢All right, well, why don't you go to bed. 那你先上床躺着吧I'll sleep out here on the couch. 我今晚睡沙发No, no, no, you take the bed. I'll stay out here. 别别别你睡床吧今晚我睡这里Even better. Sweet dreams, snot bag. 那更好了祝美梦鼻涕虫See what I'm talking about? 看到我说的意思了吗Oh, yes. 是的Oh, that is textbook encroachment. 这是教科书式的侵占土地啊And I know because I have the textbook. 我能肯定是因为我有那教科书First edition. 首版呢Watch what happens when you move. 看看如果你动了会怎么样Oh, boy, you weren't kidding. 天啊你们还真不是瞎扯Oh, those are 10,000 lumens if they're a lumen. 如果那是光那就是1万流明的万丈光芒Well, you know what they say: 常言道when life give you lumens, make lumen-ade. 当生活给你流明光你就做成流明水Was that a joke? 这是笑话吗Yes. 是啊Based on the premise that "lumen" sounds like "lemon"?笑点是来自光通量单位"流明"音似"柠檬"吗Yes. 是的That's hilarious. 还真好笑Okay, what is the setback on property lines in this neighborhood?你们这区的建筑退缩尺度是多少Oh, I don't know. 我不知道啊It must be on the permit from when you built your deck. 你们造这个平台的时候许可上会有写啊Uh, yeah, my dad built this. 我爸爸盖的这个平台We didn't do the whole permit thing. 我们没去申请什么许可Here we go. 要发作啦Are you saying 你的意思是I'm standing on an unpermitted deck? 我正站在一个无许可的平台上It's been here for years, Sheldon. It's fine. 谢尔顿都已经盖了好几年了没事的How did the inspector not flag this 检查员当时来你们家when he came to check out your bathroom renovation? 检查浴室装修的时候怎么没提出示警Are you telling me that I have showered 你不会是告诉我我曾经在in an uninspected bathroom? 未受检查过的浴室里洗过澡吧You showered in our house? 你在我们家洗过澡吗You made me hold your children. What did you expect me to do? 你让我抱过你的小孩你要我怎么办You think you know people. 知人知面不知心啊You do know them, Sheldon. 你知道他们的心啊谢尔顿Yeah, but-but do we? Do we really know them? 但是是真的吗我们是真的知道人家的心吗Yes! 是啊They're rule breakers, Amy. 艾米他们可是规则破坏者And you know what we do with rule breakers? 你知道我们该怎么对待规则破坏者吗Complain about them to our spouse 跟自己的伴侣不停地抱怨他们until she's ready to drive into oncoming traffic? 直到伴侣受不了开车冲向对面的车阵中You can't cross a double yellow line. 你不能穿越双黄线啊What is this, the Purge? 你以为是电影《人类清除计划》啊So, I guess you're not gonna help them? 所以我想你是不打算帮他们了Oh, I'm gonna help them-- 我要帮他们help them get on the right side of Johnny Law. 帮助他们投入守法的怀抱Oh, you can't turn them in. 你不能去举报他们啊The city's gonna make them rip out 市政府会让他们把所有的装修all the work they've done and do it over. 全部都拆了然后再重新盖It would be the end of your friendship. 到时候你跟他们的友谊就毁了What choice do I have? These are the rules. 我能有什么选法律就是法律Sheldon, I am begging you. Please, don't do this. 谢尔顿我求你了别这么做You know who doesn't get permits for their decks? Animals.你知道谁才不会为平台申请许可吗动物Animals don't have decks. 动物才没有平台Oh, really? I have one word for you: beavers. 是吗那我送你一个词海狸Bert? Raj? 伯特拉杰Can't believe they're gonna cut that 真不敢相信他们要用这个with this punk-ass diamond saw. 垃圾金刚石锯切Geez. 要命了Geez. 在此处排队Oh, hey, look. 你看看"Siglature." "谦名"-下一位Hello.-- Next! - 你好Hi! Welcome to the zone zone. 你好欢迎来到区区Oh, that's funny! 真好笑Hey, I also have a joke for you. 我也有个笑话回敬你Lumen-ade. 流明水Maybe I told it wrong. 可能我讲得不对Well, how can I help you? 有何能为您效劳呢If I know someone in violation of the building code, 如果我知道某些人违反了建筑条例should I turn them in? 我应该举报他们吗Interesting question. 这问题很有意思Yeah, I know. Because, on the one hand, 我知道因为一方面Confucius says we owe a greater responsibility 孔子说过我们对亲近之人的责任to people we're close with rather than to society at large. 大于对整个社会的责任But, on the other hand, Socrates says that 但另一方面苏格拉底说过we're obligated to obey all laws, even unjust ones. 我们必须遵守所有法律哪怕是不公正的法律And then, furthermore, if we're entertaining rules 此外如果我们把破坏规则about when it's okay to break the rules, 当作儿戏I should-- where does it end? 我应该... 那什么时候能到头Well, for me, it ends at 5:00. 对我来说 5点到头Well, I just-- I don't know what to do. 我不知道怎么办了All I can tell you is that the building codes 我只能告诉你建筑条例are there for everyone's safety. 是为了所有人的安全Oh, so you're saying I have no choice but to turn them in. 你是说我别无选择必须举报他们I did not say that. 我没这样说But would you? 但你会这样说吗And remember that I laughed at your "zone zone" Joke. 别忘了你的"区区"笑话我可是有捧场It's not even a joke! 那根本算不上是笑话Oh, is that Linda back there? 后面的是琳达吗Yeah. 是的How are her hot flashes? Any better? 她的更年期潮热好些了吗Leonard, what are you doing?! 莱纳德你做什么Showing you that this is the better way. 让你们看这是更好的办法Stop! Whatever's inside there is dangerous! 住手里面的东西很危险And pretty. 而且很漂亮What is that? 这是什么Are you okay? 你还好吗Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just feeling a little... 我没事只是觉得有点......hungry. 饿Stop eating Bert! 别吃伯特了Keep eating Bert! 继续吃伯特What? What?--莱纳德- Leonard. Leonard! 怎么了-You're having a bad dream. 你做噩梦了Oh, thank God. 谢天谢地I was eating my friends. 我梦到吃自己的两个朋友Well, one friend and one acquaintance. 应该算一个朋友一个认识的人You know what, Bert's okay. Two friends. 伯特也挺好算是朋友吧Let me see if you're running a fever. 让我看看你有没有发烧Yeah. 好Oh, yeah, you're burning up. 烧得很厉害Geez! Are you okay? 天啊你还好吗That depends. What-what color are my eyes? 得看情况我的眼睛是什么颜色I don't know, brown? 我不知道棕色No, green. No, wait, brown. 不绿色等等棕色Oh, good, I'm awake. 很好我醒了Howie, someone's here to see you. 华仔有人找你Hello. 你好Hey. What's going on? 有什么事Can you come over here? 你能过来吗Sheldon, the deck is safe. You can walk on it. 谢尔顿平台很安全你可以走上来Oh, that gets the heart going. 害人家小心肝砰砰跳So, what's up? 有什么事I went down to the city Code Compliance Office to turn you in. 我去建筑许可局举报你Are you kidding? 开玩笑吗But I didn't do it. 但我没有举报I filled out the form and then realized 我填表时发现that the unwritten rules of friendship 友谊的不成文规定are more important than the written rules 比阿尔塔迪纳市of the city of Altadena's Zoning and Planning Department. 区划规划部的成文规定重要多了Really? "Aw"? 有必要感动吗And you'll be happy to know that, while I was there, 我相信你会很高兴听到我在那里时I did look into your neighbor's balcony, 查了你邻居家的阳台and it is encroaching on your property line. 的确侵占到你家的土地I had all this pent-up snitch energy, 我想举报你的那股冲动劲儿正无处发泄so I reported him hard. 所以我狠狠举报了他一番What did they say? 他们怎么说He's going to have to remove it. 他必须拆掉So the good guys win? 好人胜利了吗Well, I don't know if I'd call you the good guys. 我不知道能否称你们为好人You're enforcing a law on him 你们把法律强加在他身上that you're willfully ignoring yourselves. 但你们却故意自己不遵守法律Uh, all right, fine. 好吧So the morally compromised guys win. 所以没啥道德感的人胜利了Apparently so. 显然是的Now, if one of you'd be kind enough to take me home, 现在你们谁送我回家I need to use my bathroom. 我要用我家的厕所What's wrong with the one here? 我家厕所有什么问题I'm sorry, I want to live. 抱歉我想活下去Hey. You guys got a second? 你们有时间吗Leonard, I told you, buddy. We don't need to use your laser. 莱纳德我跟你说过了我们不用你的激光Yeah, all we need is Terry Brad-saw. 我们只需要泰瑞·布拉德锯That's what I named my saw. 这是我用明星名谐音哏给锯子取的名No, I-I just wanted to apologize for yesterday. 不我想为昨天的事道歉I just-- I think I was jealous, you know? 我想我嫉妒了Sheldon and Amy might win a Nobel Prize, 谢尔顿和艾米可能赢得诺贝尔奖and now you guys have this cool meteorite project. 现在你们有这么酷的陨石项目--Yeah.真的你嫉妒我们-- Really? You're jealous of us? 对I even had this crazy dream last night where I ate you both. 我甚至做了疯狂的梦梦里我吃了你们俩Seriously? 真的吗I know. I was pretty out of it. 我知道挺夸张的Who'd you eat first? 你先吃了谁Oh. Uh, you. 你Nice. 很好This is just delightful. 真是太舒服了Do you think he knows we're the ones that got him in trouble?你觉得他知道是我们把他供出去的吗--I do. I met his wife. She seems really nice.谁在乎- Who cares? 我在乎我见过他的老婆-人挺好Sorry about the noise, neighbor! 抱歉这些嗓音邻居No problem! 没关系Hey, you guys know a Sheldon Cooper?! 你们认识谢尔顿·库珀吗No, we do not! 不不认识Is it just me or has no one been in the store for hours? 是我的错觉吗还是店里空了几小时Yeah, it is weirdly quiet. 的确安静得很诡异Nobody's in the street. 街上没人Huh. Well, that's strange. 真奇怪You thinking what I'm thinking? 你的想法和我的想法一样吗They cut that meteorite open and unleashed a space plague? 他们切开陨石释放了宇宙瘟疫Exactly. 正是Let me just lock up here. 我把门锁好Okay. So what do we do? 好我们怎么办Uh, well, if this is a worst-case scenario 如果发生最坏的情况and we're the last two people alive, we're gonna, 我们是最后两个大活人我们就得...we're gonna have to rebuild civilization. 我们就必须重建文明社会Do you have any special skills? 你有什么特别技能吗I can draw. 我会画画How 'bout you? 你呢I can play clarinet. 我会吹单簧管Oh, I didn't know that. 我都不知道呢Yeah, ten years. 吹了十年You know, it, uh, might also be up to us to 可能还要依靠我们两个repopulate the Earth. 重新繁衍地球人I'm okay with that. 我没意见So... shall we? 要开始吗Wait here. I'm gonna brush my teeth. 等等我先去刷牙Sorry, we're closed! 抱歉我们打烊了Sorry, we're closed! 结束营业This is going on Yelp! 我会在网上给你差评。

Hey, Leonard, if you're not busy tomorrow, 莱纳德如果你明天不忙的话I have to do a little reception after work. 我明天下班后有个小活动Oh, I would, 我愿意去but we need to make a push on the air force project. 可我们明天要赶工弄一下空军的项目Oh, are you sure? 你确定不来吗We're celebrating our new A.D.D. Drug, 是要庆祝我们的注意力缺失症新药and it'll probably be over in, like, six minutes. 到时候估计六分钟就结束了Did you say you guys are working on the guidance system tomorrow?你刚才说你们明天要弄导向系统吗Yeah, why? 对啊怎么了Well, Sheldon said that he was gonna work with me 谢尔顿说他明天要跟我一起弄on our quantum perception project. 我们的量子认知研究呢We've had this planned for a week. 我们一周前就计划好了Well, he reconfirmed with me this morning. 他今早还跟我重新确认过时间呢Guys, before this gets ugly, remember, 两位在事态开始恶化之前别忘了the winner gets Sheldon. 赢的人得到的可是谢尔顿Hey, Raj, do you want to go with me tomorrow? 拉杰你明天想跟我一起去吗Are you asking because you want me there or out of pity? 你邀请我是希望我出席还是可怜我Actually, never mind, don't answer. 算了别回答了I'd love to. 我愿意去Hello. 大家安安Why did you tell Leonard you're working on 你为什么跟莱纳德说你明天- the gyroscope tomorrow? - Because I am. -要跟他弄陀螺仪的项目 -的确是啊But you said you were working with me. 但你答应我要跟我一起做我们的项目Someone's got two dates to the nerd prom. 某人邀了两妞去参加宅男舞会呢I have a plan to work on both projects simultaneously. 山人自有妙计我有办法同时做两个项目And for your information, the summer conference 顺便告诉你加州理工学院的on algebraic topology at Caltech is nerd prom. 代数拓扑夏季大会才是真的宅男舞会呢I'm sorry, what is this plan you have? 抱歉不知阁下有何妙计Well, I'm not needed at both places at the same time. 我不需要同时出现在两个地方啊And I can also free up extra hours with simple tricks, 我用些简单小技巧就能腾出几小时such as using a minimal amount of words to convey my point. 比如表达意见时做到言简意赅When does that start? 你什么时候能开始这样Soon. 快See, I could've said "In the near future," 你看我本来可以说"快开始了"but I didn't say "In the near future," 但我没有说"快开始了"'cause "In the near future" is three more words than "Soon." 因为"快开始了"比"快"多了3个字"In" one, "the" two, "near" three, "future" four. "快"是1 "开"是2 "始"是3 "了"是4See "In the near future" is four, "Soon" is just one, "快开始了"4个字而"快"是1个字four is more than one; saving time already. 1字比4字少所以就省下了时间Genius. 天才I was gonna say, 我本来想说"Why does anyone think Sheldon's a genius?" "为什么会有人觉得谢尔顿是天才"But I didn't. 但我没说出全部Gentlemen, I've got Amy up and running. 先生们我帮艾米开好头了Shall we get to work? 我们该开始了吗Uh, before we do, what are you wearing, 在开始前我想问你背着什么啊oh, friend who we pretend is normal? 我们假装你一切正常的这位朋友These are hydration backpacks. 这是补水背包Eh, for efficiency, whenever I'm thirsty, 为了效率这包在我口渴时I have access to water. 能让我直接补充水分Eh, when I'm hungry, I have lentil soup. 而当我饿了时我有扁豆汤It's getting harder to pretend. 越来越装不下去了Anyway, Sheldon, we're at a decision point 谢尔顿我们现在到了这决策点to run the xenon stream through the cryocooler 是让氙气流通过低温制冷机or through the vacuum filter. 还是通过真空过滤器Run down the pros and cons of each for me. 说说看两者的优缺点Well, if we run the xenon stream through the cryocooler, 如果我们让氙气流通过低温制冷机it'll be cooled immediately before it reacts with the conduction. 它会立即冷却不会跟导管起反应Oh, sorry, uh, carrot chunk. 抱歉胡萝卜丁卡着了You can just feel the time being saved. 节省时间的感觉太强烈了Ah, I'm back, you got me for eight minutes. 我回来啦我可以在这八分钟Sheldon, this is silly. 谢尔顿这样太蠢了You can't expect us to do quality work 你这样进进出出with you popping in and out like this. 我们怎么有办法做出高质量的成果The coefficient isn't lambda, it's lambda sub one. 系数不是Λ是Λ₁And over here, you should consider the possibility 而这边你应该考虑一下that the brain itself is in two different quantum states. 大脑本身处于两种不同量子态的可能性And lastly, do you have any little soup crackers? 最后问一下你有配汤小饼干吗The rate of spinning for the central axis centrifuge 中央轴离心机的旋转速度has to be four revolutions per second. 必须是每秒钟4转It can't be four revolutions, it's got to be seven. 怎么会是每秒钟4转必须得是7转Seven?! 7个鬼Look at the board, it's four. 看清楚了必须是4转Oh, my God, it's seven! 天啊是7转好吗- Four! - Seven! -4转 -7转It's five and a half. 是5.5转Son of a bitch, it's five and a half. 我了个去还真是5.5转B.R.B., that's short for "Be right back." 马回就是"马上回来"的缩写I'm saving so much time! 我省下了好多时间啊The two signals meet up in the corpus callosum 两个信号在脑胼胝体相遇and T equals zero. 而T=0And I know a boy who just earned a slurp of soup. 而我知道某个小男孩值得嘉奖一口汤Incredible. 太厉害了Sheldon, I didn't expect that you could work on both projects, 谢尔顿我原以为你无法同时兼顾两项目but I, I was wrong. 但我真是大错特错啊You know, I felt the same way about the spork. 我一开始也对插勺有这种感觉Uh, solids and liquids handled by one utensil? 一种餐具就想一次解决干的跟稀的That'll never work. 怎么能行呢And spoiler: works. 剧透警告真的能行I got to admit, 不得不承认we didn't think you'd be able to do two things at once. 我们本来并不觉得你能同时兼顾两边Yeah, I felt the same way about the platypus. 我一开始也对鸭嘴兽有这种看法You know, bird and mammal in the same creature? 禽类与哺乳类合而为一的物种No way. 怎么能呢And spoiler: way. 剧透警告真的能Oh, thanks again for letting me use your laptop last night. 再一次谢谢你昨晚借我用你电脑No problem. 没事Was just doing my taxes. 我就是上网报个税Okay. 好Actually, if I could... 其实要是我能...if I could just check one more... 要是我能再查看一下...Already cleared the browser history. 我已经把浏览器历史记录删了You're a good woman. 你真是个懂事的好女人What you working on? 你在忙什么Trying to catch up on office e-mails before I go back. 在回去上班前看看办公室的电邮往来记录Oh, that's right, maternity leave's almost over. 对哦你的产假快休完了Ah, you excited? 要上班了你兴奋吗Yeah, I mean, I'll miss Halley, 当然我是说我肯定会想哈雷but it'll be nice to get out of the house, 但这样也挺好可以走出家门be intellectually stimulated. 活动活动脑子Go out to lunch instead of, you know, be lunch. 出去吃午餐而不是当别人的午餐That's great, good for you. 不错啊这样挺好的Yeah, I mean, with you and my parents, 是啊反正有你和我爸妈she's gonna be fine. 她会没事的Ah, of course she is. 那是当然And that day care is great. 那家托儿所也不错It is. I went to check it out, 的确我特地去查看过and they are very cautious about letting strange men with no kids他们对于没孩子的陌生人从窗户偷窥这一点peek in the windows. 表现出非常警惕的态度Plus, I, I think I'm setting a good example for Halley, 再说了我觉得我给哈雷树立了很好的榜样to show her that women can be mothers 让她知道女人就算当了妈and still have satisfying careers. 仍可以拥有令人满意的事业Sure, she won't know where I went or if I'm ever coming back. 当然她不会知道我去了哪我还会不会回来That'll just make the ten minutes between when I get home等我回到家她还有十分钟就要睡觉了and her bedtime even more special. 于是那十分钟变得更弥足珍贵Uh, other than burp you or give you a bottle, 除了帮你拍奶嗝和给你个奶瓶外I don't know what to do right now. 我真不知道该怎么办了It's okay, I'm just being emotional about this. 没事我情绪过于激动了Can you not tell Howard? 拜托别告诉霍华德好吗Well, don't you think it'd be healthier 你不觉得告诉他你怎么了if you told him what's going on with you? 更有利于你身心健康吗Don't you think it'd be healthier 那你不觉得作为一个成年人if you had your own apartment, grown man? 拥有自己的公寓更有利于你的身心健康吗Your secret is safe with me. 我会替你保密的Hey, since when do you do laundry on a Thursday? 你什么时候开始周四洗衣服了Oh, I had an accident at work, 我今天上班出了点意外I slipped and fell on my soup sack. 我脚一滑摔到我的汤袋上了You know, there was a time I would say "What's a soup sack?" 曾几何时我会问"什么是汤袋" But... I'm glad we're past that. 但...我很高兴多嘴时光已过去了You know, there was a time I would say "God bless you," 曾几何时我会说"愿神保佑你" and then you would say "If you must invoke an imaginary deity, 而你会说"如果你一定要祈求虚构的神灵保佑how about Thor?" 求雷神索尔怎么样"And I would say, 于是我会说"How do you know I didn't mean Thor?" "你怎么知道我说的不是雷神"And then you would say "Touche," 然后你会说"说得好"and that there ends the tale 而从那刻起of why I no longer say "God bless you." "愿神保佑你"这话与我从此是路人Well, we have had some fun, haven't we? 咱俩这一来一往的时光也挺美不是吗Oh, yeah. 是的So, Leonard tells me you've had a busy day. 莱纳德跟我说你忙得像只陀螺Oh, I did. 没错It hasn't stopped. 现在还转着呢I figured out a solution for our navigation system 就我在预浸泡裤子想把扁豆弄出来的时候while I was pre-soaking lentils out of my pants. 我想出了我们导向系统的一个解决方案Are you getting sick? 你是不是要生病了Of course not. 当然不是I'm too busy to be sick. 我太忙没空生病Well, you're pretty delicate. 你身子挺娇弱的Maybe you shouldn't be pushing yourself so hard. 或许你不该把自己逼这么紧- I'm fine. - All right. -我好得很 -好吧Well, we'll just pretend that you didn't catch a cold 那我们就假装你看《冰雪奇缘》- watching Frozen. - I... -看到感冒的事没发生 -我...That didn't happen. 才没有呢You also got a nosebleed watching Up. 你看《飞屋环游记》的时候还流鼻血了Just do your laundry! 少废话快洗你的衣服Stuart, you didn't have to make dinner. 斯图尔特你不用特意做晚饭Yeah, well, I felt bad about upsetting you this morning. 没事早上害你不开心我挺不好意思And to be honest, I'm not the biggest fan of your meatloaf. 而且老实说我不太喜欢你做的肉卷Hey, what's for dinner? 晚餐吃什么Meatloaf. 肉卷Oh, cool. 好吧Stuart made it. 斯图尔特做的Oh, cool. 好哒Hey, I was thinking maybe we take 我在想或许我们可以Halley to the zoo this weekend, 周末带哈雷去动物园get in a little family time 在你上班前before you go back to work. 享受一点家庭时光Sounds great. 听起来不错Speaking of which, 说到这个for day care, it'll be easy for me 关于托儿所我不介意送她去to drop her off, unless you want to do it. 但如果你很想送她我也可以让给你Hmm, guess it should be me. 看来是得我来送了I can't do it; 我送不了they have a picture of me on file now. 他们有我的照片记录在案You okay? 你没事吧Of course, why? 当然怎么了Well, I don't know, you seem a little upset. 我不知道你看起来有点不开心- No, I'm fine. - You sure? -我没事 -你确定吗Why don't you think she's fine? 你干嘛觉得人家有事She sounds fine, she looks fine. 她的声音听起来没事她的样子看起来也没事If I saw her on the street I'd say, 如果我在街上看到她我一定会说"Damn, that girl's fine!" "靠这妞没事[正点]"Sheldon, you're sick, go back to bed. 谢尔顿你生病了躺回床上吧I am fine. 我没事Here, eat your toast. 给吃你的吐司Sorry. 抱歉It's okay, now I don't need butter. 没事这下黄油都省了Well, perhaps I am a little under the weather. 或许我是有一点受了风寒It's nothing a little cold medicine and tea can't fix. 但吃点感冒药喝点茶就没事了You need sleep. 你需要睡眠What I need is to get to work. 我需要的是去工作Well, I don't want your germs around me. 我不想被你的病菌传染What? You hold my hand, you kiss my mouth, 怎么你牵我的手亲我的嘴就行but you draw the line at 102 fever? 但我发烧到39度就过界了吗What happened to our love? 我们的爱情怎么了Sheldon, are you okay? 谢尔顿你没事吧What's going on? 怎么回事How'd I get here? 我怎么会在这里I don't know, we came home from work and we found you. 我也不知道我们下班回家就看到你在这儿了Home from work? 下班回家What time is it? 现在几点9:00. 9点9:00?! 9点了W-What happened to 8:00 and 7:00 那8点和7点还有之前那么多点and all the other o'clocks? 都到哪儿去了Wait, you don't remember? 等下你不记得了吗Well, I remember waking up in the morning, 我记得早上起床Amy rubbing Vicks on my chest. 艾米在我胸口抹感冒舒缓膏And her hands were like two frozen chunks of tundra. 她的手又冰又糙像两大块冻土I took some cold medicine to... 然后我吃了点感冒药就...I took cold medicine. 我吃了感冒药You did seem a little loopy 你来实验室时when you showed up at the lab. 看起来的确有点呆滞At-- at the lab?! 实验室Why am I naked from the waist down? 为什么我的下半身是赤裸的I don't know where your pants are, 我不知道你的裤子在哪里but we did find your underwear in a pot on the stove.但我们倒是在炉子上的锅里发现你的内裤My pants are missing, I don't remember anything. 我的裤子不见了我什么都不记得了Penny, this is your youth. What do I do? 佩妮你青春在断片中度过分享下经验I don't know, 我不知道check your body for tattoos? 检查一下有没有新纹身吧Leonard, would you be a lamb... 莱纳德你能不能当个贴心的宝宝...She's kidding! 她在逗你的Wait, wait. Where's my bag? 等等我的背包呢- My phone and my wallet are in my bag. - It's right here. -我的电话跟钱包都在里头 -在这里Where's my notebook? My notebook's gone. Oh, no. 我的笔记本呢我的笔记本不见了不要啊Okay, it's just a notebook, what's the big deal? 不过是本笔记本而已有什么大不了的What's the big deal? 有什么大不了的It's full of classified information about the air force project!里面全是关于那个空军项目的机密信息How could you lose that? 你怎么能把那个弄丢了呢It's okay, I'm sure we'll find it. 没关系我们一定能找着Look, it's got to be around here somewhere. 肯定就在这里的某个角落Maybe it's wherever your pants are. 也许跟你的裤子在同个地方Nope, pants in the microwave, no notebook. 不裤子在微波炉里笔记本不在Ah, hello. 你好Look, something's going on with Bernadette. 伯纳黛特好像有心事She say anything to you? 她有跟你说什么吗Well, nope, not a word. 一个字都没说Come on, be honest. 别这样跟我说实话Did you tell her I tried her breast pump? 你是不是告诉她我偷用过她的吸奶器No, but I did mention it to my therapist. 没有但我倒是跟我的心理医生提过Well, I know she's mad at me about something. 反正她肯定是在生我的气Well, what have you done that would upset her? 你做了什么会惹怒她的事Oh, gosh, how much time do you have? 那要看你有多少时间听Well, why don't you just start with the worst thing? 要不你先说最严重的那件事呗Hmm, let's see. 我想想啊Okay, here we go: six years ago, 好来吧六年前I got a call that Bernie's great-aunt, Trixie, died. 我接到一通电话说妮妮的姨婆特里克茜去世了And? 然后呢And I forgot to give her the message. 然后我忘记转告她That's terrible. 太过分了The terrible part is, ever since then, 真正过分的是从那之后I've been sending Bernie 我以特里克茜的名义Christmas cards from Trixie. 每年都给妮妮寄圣诞贺卡Howard! 霍华德Let me finish-- and one card had five dollars in it 听我说完有张贺卡里还夹了五块钱I took from Bernie's purse. 是我从妮妮的钱包里偷的The notebook isn't in the bathroom. 笔记本不在浴室里I can't find it, either. 我也找不到How can he not remember a day? 他怎么能失忆一整天呢Well, people who are abducted by aliens lose time. 被外星人掳走过的人会不记得那段时间I mean, maybe it happens to the aliens, too. 可能那也会发生在外星人自己身上吧Well, it's not across the hall. 不在对面的屋子里That's it. I'm in breach of my security clearance. 已成定局了我违反了保密协议I'm going to prison. 我要去蹲大牢了And you know what happens to people like me in prison.你们也懂我这种可人儿进监狱会有何下场I'll be forced to be some large man's tutor. 我会被迫当某位大佬的私人教师You're not going to prison. 你不会进监狱的But, boy, it is funny to think about. 可是想想那个画面还真是乐开怀You really can't remember anything? 你真的什么都想不起来吗I'm trying. 我在想啊Wait a minute. Hey, let me see your phone. 等等给我看看你的手机Why? 为什么Well, it's-- it's possible 手机有可能it was tracking everywhere you went. 记录下你去过的所有地方Phones can do that? 手机还有这个功能吗Yeah, it depends on the privacy settings. 是的得看你隐私设置了Oh, tha-- that's so cool. 这功能好酷啊How do you-- how do you turn that thing off? 要怎么... 怎么样才能关掉啊Relax. 淡定I know when you "go for a run," you stop for a donut. 我知道你"去跑步"时中途吃了个甜甜圈I don't even run there, I drive. 我不是跑过去的我是开车去的Hang on, I can see every place you went. 稍等我能看到你去过的所有地点了What does it say? 记录怎么说Uh, you were in the building, 你在这栋楼里you were at the university, 你到过大学then you were somewhere on Colorado Boulevard. 然后你到了科罗拉多大道上的某处Where? 哪里Wait, hang on. 等等Did you go to a cowboy bar? 你有去过牛仔酒吧吗I-- no! 我...怎么可能That is preposterous. 太荒谬了Maybe. 有可能Hey, how's it going? 你还好吗Fine. 好啊Good. Love you. 好吧爱你哦- Love you, too. - Love you more. -我也爱你 -爱你更多Okay, you won. Can I finish what I'm doing? 行你赢了我能继续做事了吗Sure, sorry. 抱歉Something on your mind? 你有事吗No, no, nothing. 没没事Okay, well, maybe I'm just feeling like 好吧我只是觉得something's bothering you. 你好像有烦心事Nope, all good. 不我好着呢Prove it, make love to me right now on the kitchen floor. 为了证明和我在厨房地板上滚一炮吧No, what is wrong with you? 才不要你脑子有病吧Aha, you are upset. 看吧你就是不开心I don't know a lot about women, but I know I upset them. 我虽不了解女人但我知道我让她们不开心了Howard, I'm sorry if I'm being weird, 霍华德抱歉我可能举止有点怪but it has nothing to do with you. 但这件事和你没有关系It doesn't? 真的跟我无关吗No. 没有I didn't want to tell you, but... 我不想告诉你但是...I'm having a really tough time about going back to work. 我心里对于回去工作这件事挺不好受Okay, well, I get that. 这样呀我明白It was hard for me when I went back. 当我陪产假结束时也很难过- It was? - Of course. -真的吗 -当然啦I missed you and the baby 我万分思念你和宝宝and being able to watch Ellen every day. 还有每天能看《艾伦秀》的快乐时光I just don't know what the right thing to do is. 我只是不知道什么才算是正确的选择If I go back to work, I'm abandoning Halley. 如果我回去上班我就像抛弃了哈雷If I don't go, 如果我不上班I'm giving up everything I worked for. 那就放弃了我以前奋斗的事业It's like there's no right choice. 感觉就没有一个正确的选择Look, I don't know what the best decision is, either. 我也不知道什么才算是正确的选择But whatever we choose, if we're not happy, 但不管我们如何做只要不开心we can undo it. 那我们就换一种选择I guess. 也许吧And the best part is: Halley won't remember a thing. 而最棒的是哈雷完全不会记得这些事Babies are cute, but they're dumb. 宝宝们虽然可爱但也傻呼呼的I mean, I-I go like this, 你看我把脸遮住she thinks I'm gone. Then magically I'm back. 她就觉得我不见了手打开我又回来了Honestly, why are we saving for college? 老实说我们干嘛还费劲给她存大学学费呢I'm not crazy about you calling our baby dumb. 我不喜欢你说我们宝宝蠢Well, she gets it from me. 她这点遗传了我Speaking of which, 说到这个I have some news about your Aunt Trixie. 我要告诉你一些特里克茜姨婆的事Does this place look familiar? 这地方看起来眼熟不It's hard to say. 很难说Hey, Sheldon's back! 谢尔顿回来了Sheldon! 谢尔顿It's getting clearer. 我开始回想起一些了You gonna buy another round for the house? 你还要请大家再喝一轮吗Uh, n-no, thank you. 不谢谢了We now know why MasterCard sent me a fraud alert.懂为什么万事达卡给我发异常消费警告了Ask him. 问问他呀Um, yes. 好的Howdy, partner. 干哈呢兄弟Do you happen to recollect if I left a notebook 你有没有捡到我在这旮沓in these here parts? 掉的一本笔记本啊These here parts? 还这旮沓It's called fitting in. By the way, good luck. 我这叫融入环境所以祝你好运吧Here you go. 给你Thank goodness! 谢天谢地One top secret quantum guidance system. 最高机密量子导向系统You understood the math? 你能懂里面的数学吗No, but Sheldon told me all about it. 不懂但是谢尔顿详细地给我解释了一遍He told everybody. 他给大伙都解释了一遍That's just great. 太好了Oh, don't worry, 别担心he made us pinky swear we'd keep it a secret. 他让我们拉勾发誓保守秘密了I swear... 我发誓I swear... 我发誓...not to tell anyone... 绝不告诉任何人...not to tell anyone... 绝不告诉任何人...the top secret military information 这个我要告诉大家的I'm about to tell you. 军事绝密The top secret military information 这个我要告诉大家的I'm about to tell you. 军事绝密We really need to skedaddle. 我们必须赶紧撤了Thank you. Bye. 谢了再见See you. 再见Should probably erase this. 还是把这个擦了吧Thank you for making me tea. 多谢你帮我泡茶You're welcome. How is it? 不用谢好喝吗Yummy. And warm on my back. 真好喝还让人家背后也暖暖的Do you need anything else? 你还需要什么吗You know exactly what I need. 你知道我需要什么Fine. 好吧♪ Soft kitty, warm kitty, ♪ ♪ 软猫猫暖猫猫 ♪♪ Little ball of fur ♪ ♪ 小毛球猫猫 ♪♪ Happy kitty, sleepy kitty ♪ ♪ 笑猫猫困猫猫 ♪♪ Purr, purr, purr. ♪ ♪ 呼噜呼噜呼噜 ♪That's nice. 真好听Now in German. 用德语唱一遍♪ Weiches Kätzchen, warmes Kätzchen ♪ ♪ 猫咪软软猫咪暖暖 ♪♪ Ai mi gui che dan ♪ ♪ 猫咪小毛球 ♪♪ Liebes Kätzchen, müdes Kätzchen ♪ ♪ 猫咪萌萌猫咪累累 ♪♪ Schnurrt, schnurrt, schnurrt. ♪ ♪ 噗噜噗噜噗噜 ♪Great. 真美妙Now Mandarin. 用普通话唱。

Some news of our wedding,I have sent you all a "Save the date" e-mail.Oh, exciting. You guys picked a date?Better. I picked 80 dates.And I need you to save them all until we narrow it down.I thought we agreed on June 15.That's the day after Flag Day.Everyone'll be partied out.It's a date-- just pick one.It's not just a date-- it's a textbook optimization problem. There is a perfect date-- just like there'sa perfect room temperature and a perfect dessert.Mm. There's no perfect dessert.Yellow cake in the shape of a dinosaurwith chocolate frosting,a scoop of vanilla ice cream on the side,not touching.You'll see.You'll have it at our wedding.You wanna bet?You give me enough time,I can do the same thing with a wedding date--it needs to be on the weekend,uh, not near any of your birthdays,or the weekend of Comic Con.Ooh, you could get married at Comic Con.- No! - No!We just need a weekend datethat's completely boring and uneventful.Too bad you didn't get your ducks in a row,'cause tonight would have been perfect.Good morning.Good morning.I know today is Apple Jacks day, but... we're all out. That's fine. I'll have anything.Really?Yeah. You know...whatev."Whatev"?I like this side of you.You know what I like?Smooth jazz.Hey, just a reminder--- I'm going out for drinks after work. - Oh. Great.Just a reminder-- you're pregnant.I'm not drinking, just taking a new coworker out.Oh. Just a reminder-- you're married.Female coworker.She's new in town, and I want to make her feel welcome. And let her know the office is full of liarsbefore everyone tells her I'm mean.Is she single?I'm not setting her up with Raj.- What about Stuart? - Are you listening?I want her to think I'm not mean.Okay. Well, it's just...we have two single friends.Howie, I just met this woman.Why don't I wait a little and get to know her?Maybe I won't like her, and then I'd be happyto ruin her life with Stuart or Raj.That's all I ask.So, you guys lived with Sheldon for a long time...- Long time. - So very long.By the way, congratulations again on your engagement. Yeah. You got a good one.Thanks. So, it's strange,Sheldon was talking in his sleep last night,and he seemed like a totally different person.He was relaxed and...loose and calm.Well, Sheldon's a complicated man.He said "Whatev."Give him a brain scan-- that might be a tumor.Well, I think the wedding planning is really stressful for him, and that can trigger sleep talking.Well, maybe this is a part of Sheldon's personalityhe's been repressing.I mean, I think we dream about thingswe wish we could be in real life.Really? What do you dream about?Oh. Uh... being the wife of Leonard.Mostly that.I choose to believe you.Well, as much as we've studied the brain,there's still a lot we don't know about dreams and their function.You know, even psychologists are divided on it.Mm, it's true-- Freud thought dreams were about sex,Adler thought they were about dominance...后者不同意前者看法因此退出并自成一派Then again, mine are just about being married to this little guy. Well, now it's just edging into mockery.Well, moving to a new city was a little scary,but the job seems great.Everyone's really nice.Oh, they are. Super nice.I mean, only one them took you out tonight--but it's not a competition.Thanks again.You know, we could have gone somewhere more pregnancy-friendly. Oh, it's okay. One of the great things about being pregnantis drinking cranberry juice out of a wineglassand watching people freak out.Bernie!Oh, damn.Hey! What are the odds?Yeah, seren-frickin'-dipity.Hello.- Rajesh. - Stuart.Hi. Ruchi.Ruchi is my coworker.But that was probably in your briefing packet.What's wrong?Well, I found the perfect wedding date.- That's terrific! - No, it's not.It was May 19, 1996.We would have had a lovely wedding.And our honeymoon would have coincidedwith the first appearance of the Hale-Bopp comet.于1997年4月1日过近日点Sheldon, you were 16.And in Texas-- no one would have batted an eye.Oh, wait, it's no good.That's the day that Jon Pertwee, the third Doctor Who, died. And it's in the past.Hey-hey, I said it's no good-- just let it go. Sheldon...I appreciate you trying to make this wedding perfect,but it's making you miserable.No, the wedding isn't making me miserable,the calendar is.Why can't there just be one week each monthfor famous people to die?Well, they've already arranged to die in threes--会有另外两个与死者有关系的人也跟着过世what more do you want from them?This is so frustrating. Why can't I find a perfect date?I found the perfect way to say hi to cowboys.I'm just saying maybe there's a part of you deep down that... just wants to relax a little, you know?Kick back.Say, "Whatev."Whatev?I'm sorry, you're really not gonna finish that word?I-I'm just trying to make a point...Finish the word, Amy.Fine. Er.Er, er, er.Thank you.Only now you owe me three more whatevs.Oh, you were born in Trivandrum.Have you ever been to the Kuthira Malika Palace?No, I haven't.Me, either. What a small world.I've also never been there.I've never been lots of places.Go on, quiz me.I'm sorry, we're being rude talking about India.Oh, yeah, you know, if you and Bernadettewant to talk about America, that's cool with us.Here, let me get you started.Hamburgers. Am I right?So, what do you guys do?Well, I am an astrophysicist,so if you ever go out at night and look up at the stars,that's kind of my office.He sells comic books to children.Actually,I own my own store.Uh, I-if you'd like to check it out sometime,I'm running a new promotion--buy anything, get taken out for a reasonably priced dinner. Yeah, yeah, Stuart's struggling financially.But he doesn't let that get him down.He believes in himself.Even though the whole world has made it clearhe should not.Thank you.A-And, you know, Raj, I think it's greatthat you no longer live off your parents like a spoiled child. You live over someone's garage like a...failed adult.Yeah, well, you live with her.Oh, it's not like that.He rents a room from me and my husband. Who, by the way, is no prize, either.Oh, I don't care.You know me-- I just go with the flow. Beach, public pool...They both sound awesome.On second thought, beach.I'd like to befriend a seagull.That is crazy.Yeah. Will you e-mail that to me?Have you played this for him?No. I'm worried he'll say I violated his privacy. Listen how happy he sounds.I'm up for anything,as long as I'm with you.- What are you listening to? - Nothing.Oh, come on, I want to hear.We don't need GPS.Let's just see where the road takes us.I see why you turned it off.That guy sounds like an idiot.Honey, that's you.Don't be silly. My voice is deep and sonorous. Like a Caucasian James Earl Jones.为《星球大战》系列电影中的黑武士配音"Luke, I am your father." See?It is you.I recorded you in your sleep.Oh, look-- a hitchhiker.I bet he has some interesting stories.That's me?It's you.So you spied on me in my sleep?Sheldon, I'm sorry.You've been doing this every night.I couldn't help but wonder if it meant something.Well, it doesn't.Are you sure?I mean, the prefrontal cortex regulates impulse control.So it's plausible that when we're asleep,aspects of our personality that we repress might come out. Don't try to put science lipstick on your New Age pig!And for the record,you make noises when you sleep,and I've never accused you of repressing your inner chainsaw. If you want me to object at your wedding,If you want me to object at your wedding,just give me one of these.This picture of Galactus eating a planet looks likeThis picture of Galactus eating a planet looks likemy preggo wife destroying a coffee cake.Oh, yeah, I see it.I'm just saying, you should bow out.Why should I bow out?Uh, because we all know how this is gonna end.That's what my doctor said, too, but I'm still here.Okay, look, I think that she and I have more in common. Because you're Indian?So just 'cause she's brown, you get to date her?Yes!And the next time we meet a womanwho's pale and cadaver-like, she's all yours.Howard, Bernadette was there last night.Did she say anything when she got home?Yeah, she said, "Why'd you tell those idiots where I was? Thanks a lot."Okay, how about we flip a coin?Look, hang on. Doesn't this girl get a word in all of this?And isn't that word "No"?Ruchi said she wanted to hang out with both of us.Why don't we just do that?Oh, fine. Let's hang out as friends and see what happens. Yeah, and if something grows out of it, just worry about it then. Also what my doctor said.Hey, this isn't your laundry night.I know. Laundry on a Wednesday.It's the madness my life has become.Why is this sleep-talking thing bothering you anyway?It's simple.I don't like the ideathat my mind might be keeping an entire personality from me. Dr. Jekyll's other personality was Mr. Hyde.杰基尔和海德代表了善与恶两种性格Mr. Hyde.Didn't have a postgraduate degree.Is it possible that you're stressedbecause you're scared about getting married?I mean, it is a big change,and you're not good with little changes.Well, that's nonsense.You name one little change I was upset with.Uh, when they changed the green Skittle from lime to apple. That is not the rainbow I grew up tasting.All right, fine. Let's start over.Is it possible that the sleep-talking is a part of your brainthat's telling you everything's gonna be okayand you just need to relax a little?So you're proposing that the self is an illusion,and that we actually have multiple centers of consciousness that are communicating with one another?In laymen's terms, yeah.Huh. Interesting.So you don't believe there's a Cartesian selfthat underlies the flux of experience?Maybe in my twenties, not anymore.Okay. Well, assuming you're right,what would you suggest I do?Well, I would start with something small,see if it makes your life any better.Um, you can learn to meditate, take a yoga class.Oh. You know, I have always been intrigued by flip-flops. The official footwear of the laid-back fellow.Okay, sure.Of course if my feet are gonna be exposed,I'll need to update my tetanus booster.Oh, yeah. Makes sense.Yeah. And while I'm there, I may as well get a flu shot- and a mole check. - Sure.You know, I've never had a mole check.You know, I've never had a mole check.Well, it's been nice knowing you.Here you go.Thanks.It's too bad Stuart couldn't make it. He seemed fun.Oh, yeah, he is. I love him dearly, yeah.Not to say that I don't worry about him.What's to worry about?You know what?I'm talking out of school.Speaking of which, he's allowed to live near them now. Speaking of which, he's allowed to live near them now. Hey, guys.- Oh, great, Stuart. You're here. - Yeah, Stuart.Yeah, I did... I didn't think you were gonna make it.Mm. I believe that.Sorry, guys. It's work. I've got to take it.I'm so glad you made it, Stuart.Oh, yeah, so glad.I can't believe you went behind my back!Which clearly means I want this more!You want to play a game of "Who's more desperate" with me? 'Cause you're in the big leagues now, Bucko.L-Look, Ruchi and I are really hitting it off.Please let me just have this one!I'm not going anywhere.I'm like a fungus you can't get rid of.Sorry.So what's going on?Oh, you just missed Stuart's funny storyabout the fungus he can't get rid of.Raj didn't tell me about tonightso he could be alone with you.Really?That's a little weird.Just a little? Because I can work with that.Look, guys, I'm not interested in dating anyone right now. I'm just looking to make some friends.Yeah, I totally understand.But if you were gonna date someone,would it be me or Stuart?I think I'm gonna go.Uh, uh, uh, uh, Ruchi, I'm sorry.If you still want to hang out as friends, I'd like that. Thanks, Stuart. I'd like that, too.And the fungus is under the toenail.Hello.So, um, I, uh...I got flip-flops.Good for you.Oh, my God, what happened?!After I got the flip-flops,I realized that the tops of my feet were exposed, so, um, I-I put on some sunscreen,which caused my feet to become slippery.And predictably, one of them fell offand went down a sewer grate.Now, normally, I would have walked away,but this is a new, laid-back me, so,instead of getting upset, I just reached down to grab it. That's when I touched something furry......which I'm telling myself was a damp toupee.When the toupee licked my hand......I screamedand hopped down the street on my remaining flip-flop. - Can I just ask... - No, this is a long story.Why don't we please save your questions till the end? So, I-I finally came upon a bus benchwhere I sat and removed one of my shirtsand, uh, fashioned it into a makeshift shoe.Not a waterproof shoe.That is relevant to the next part of my story.The ankle-deep puddle of warm apple juice.Apple juice?Maybe, maybe not.I'm telling myself a lot of things, Amy.What happened to your other flip-flop?Oh, well, that involves what I am telling myself was a... melted candy bar.Okay. I-I'm sorry.Is there anything I can do to help?Yes. I want you to be in charge of our wedding.Just you tell me where and when,and I will show up with a boutonniereand close-toed shoes and a...a Star Trek uniform underneath my tuxedo.That last part is non-negotiable.Are you sure that's what you want?As sure as I'm about to go bathe in Purell.- I love you. - I love you, too.You know, ever since I was a young girl,I-I've dreamed of a June wedding,maybe on a cliff overlooking the ocean at sunset. Sure.Sounds wonderful.Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go clean up. Outdoor wedding.I know what I'll be using that cliff for.I call this meeting of the Council of Sheldons to order. Let's take roll.Science Sheldon?Present.Texas Sheldon?Howdy.Fanboy Sheldon?Greetings.Germaphobe Sheldon?Say it, don't spray it.Where is Jock Sheldon?Not the time, humorous Sheldon.Ok, new business.Do we grant layback Sheldon a seat on the council? 拖了很久才去领奖Hey, whatever you guys want. I'm just chill like Bob Dylan. Negative.Heck no!I don't feel well.Can we kick him out too?。