英语学习-《老友记》中英剧本第一季第八集-必备

老友记第一季剧本108. The One Where Nana Dies Twice[Scene: Chandler's Office, Chandler is on a coffee break. Shelley enters.]break: 休息-Shelley: Hey gorgeous, how's it going?【gorgeous: A beautiful girl/guy –from Urban Dictionary】嗨,帅哥，你怎么样？-Chandler: Dehydrated Japanese noodles under fluorescent lights... does it get better than this? dehydrated: 脱水的noodle: 面条fluorescent: 日光灯在荧火灯下吃日本方便面……我能有多好？-Shelley: Question. You're not dating anybody, are you, because I met somebody who would be perfect for you.date: 约会问个问题。

你没有约会对象，是吧，因为我碰到个人对你来说相当完美。

-Chandler: Ah, you see, perfect might be a problem. Had you said 'co-dependent', or 'self-destructive'...co-dependent: 相互依靠的self-destructive: 自我毁灭的啊，是啊，不过“完美”也许有点不恰当。

你可以说“相互依靠”，或者“自我毁灭”。

-Shelley: Do you want a date Saturday?你想星期六约会吗？-Chandler: Yes please.是啊请说吧。

《F r i e n d s》剧本（第一季）101 The One Where Monica Gets a New Roommate (The Pilot-The Uncut Version) [Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica are there.]Monica: There's nothing to tell! He's just some guy I work with!没什么好说的！他不过是我的同事！Joey: C'mon, you're going out with the guy! There's gotta be something wrong with him!少来了，你和那个人一起出去！和你交往的男人一定有问题！没错。

Joey: Never had that dream.我没做过那样的梦Phoebe: No.没有Chandler: All of a sudden, the phone starts to ring. Now I don't know what to do, everybody starts looking at me.那支电话突然响起，而我不知道怎么办，每个人都开始望着我。

Monica: And they weren't looking at you before?!他们以前不看你吗？Chandler: Finally, I figure I'd better answer it, and it turns out it's my mother, which is very-very weird, because- she never calls me!结果是我妈打来，我感到很奇怪，因为我妈不曾打过电话给我！[Time Lapse, Ross has entered.]Ross: (mortified) Hi.嗨Joey: This guy says hello, I wanna kill myself.这家伙向我打招呼时我就想自杀。

老友记第一季中英文字幕第一集（开场场景：中央咖啡馆）莫妮卡（Monica）：你们知道吗，我昨天晚上梦到我们都六十岁了。

罗斯（Ross）：这个怎么可能？我到时候已经去世好多年了。

莫妮卡：我们活得好开心，我们在一个海滩度假，还和我们的孙子孙女一起。

菲比（Phoebe）：不过，我们如何在那个年纪还能有机会生孩子呢？莫妮卡：嗯，你说的有道理。

罗斯：真希望有个安宁的晚年。

Episode 1Opening Scene: Central Perk CaféMonica: You know what, I dreamt last night that we wereall sixty years old.Ross: That’s impossible. By then, I’ll have been dead for many years.Monica: We were living happily, on a beach vacation with our grandkids.Phoebe: But how did we manage to have kids at that age?Monica: Well, you have a point.Ross: I wish for a peaceful old age.本剧是一部美国情景喜剧，由大卫·克朗斯、马塞尔·博尔和凯文·布莱特创作。

剧情围绕着六位好友乔伊、钱德勒、罗斯、莫妮卡、瑞秋和菲比展开。

故事发生在纽约市曼哈顿的中央咖啡馆和他们的公寓中。

这一季共有24集，每集大约为22分钟。

以下将为您带来第一季每集的中英文字幕：This TV show is an American sitcom created by David Crane, Marta Kauffman, and Kevin Bright. The story revolves around six best friends - Joey, Chandler, Ross, Monica, Rachel, and Phoebe. It takes place in the Central Perk Café and their apartments in Manhattan, New York City.The first season consists of 24 episodes, each with a duration of approximately 22 minutes. Below are the Chinese and English subtitles for each episode of the first season:第二集（中央咖啡馆）罗斯: 你知道吗，有一天你会发现那个人就在那里一直陪伴着你。

六人行1-8The One Where Nana Dies Twice [Scene: Chandler's Office, Chandler is on a coffee break. Shelley enters.) Shelley: Hey gorgeous, how's it going? Chandler: Dehydrated Japanese noodles under fluorescent lights... does it get be er than this? Shelley: Ques on. You're not da ng anybody, are you, because I met somebody who would be perfect for you. Chandler: Ah, y'see, perfect might be a problem. Had you said 'co-dependent', or 'self-destruc ve'... Shelley: Do you want a date Saturday? Chandler: Yes please. Shelley: Okay. He's cute, he's funny, he's- Chandler: He's a he? Shelley: Shelley: Well Well Well yeah! ...Oh yeah! ...Oh God. I- just- just- I I thought- thought- Good, Good, Shelley. Shelley. I'm I'm I'm just just just gonna gonna gonna go go flush flush myself myself down the toilet now...(backs out of the room) Okay, goodbye... Opening Credits [Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is there.) Chandler: ...Couldn't enjoy a cup of noodles a er that. I mean, is that ridiculous? Can you believe she actually thought that? Rachel: Um... yeah. Well, I mean, when I first met you, y'know, I thought maybe, possibly, you might be... Chandler: You did? Rachel: Yeah, but then you spent Phoebe's en re birthday party talking to my breasts, so then I figured maybe not. Chandler: Huh. Did, uh... any of the rest of you guys think that when you first met me? Monica: I did. Phoebe: Yeah, I think so, yeah. Joey: Not me. Ross: Nono, me neither. Although, uh, y'know, back in college, Susan Sallidor did. Chandler: You're kidding! Did you tell her I wasn't? Ross: No. No, it's just 'cause, uh, I kinda wanted to go out with her too, so I told her, actually, you were seeing Bernie Spellman... who also liked her, so... (Joey congratulates Ross, sees Chandler's look and abruptly stops.) Chandler: Well, this is fascina ng. So, uh, what is it about me? Phoebe: I dunno, 'cause you're smart, you're funny... Chandler: Ross is smart and funny, d'you ever think that about him? All: Yeah! Right! Chandler: WHAT IS IT?! Monica: Okay, I-I d'know, you-you just- you have a quality. All: Yes. Absolutely. A quality. Chandler: Oh, oh, a quality, good, because I was worried you guys were gonna be vague about this. (Phone rings; Monica gets it) Monica: Hello? Hello? Oh! Rachel, it's Paolo calling from Rome. Rachel: Oh my God! Calling from Rome! (Takes phone) Bon giorno, caro mio. Ross: (to Joey) So he's calling from Rome. I could do that. Just go a go to Rome. Rachel: Monica, your dad just beeped in, but can you make it quick? Talking to Rome. (Showing off to Phoebe and Chandler) I'm talking to Rome. Monica: Hey dad, what's up? (Listens) Oh God. Ross, it's Nana. [Scene: [Scene: The The The Hospital, Hospital, Hospital, Mr . Mr . and and and Mrs. Mrs. Mrs. Geller Geller Geller are are are there, there, there, along along along with with with Aunt Aunt Aunt Lillian. Lillian. Lillian. Ross Ross Ross and and and Monica Monica enter and everyone says hi and kisses.) Ross: So, uh, how's she doing? Aunt Lillian: The doctor says it's a ma er of hours. Monica: How-how are you, Mom? Mrs. Geller: Me? I'm fine, fine. I'm glad you're here. ...What's with your hair? Monica: What? Mrs. Geller: What's different? Monica: Nothing. Mrs. Geller: Oh, maybe that's it. (Monica strides over to Ross, who is making coffee, and talks to him aside.) Monica: She is unbelievable, our mother is... Ross: Ross: Okay, Okay, Okay, relax, relax, relax, relax. relax. relax. We We We are are are gonna gonna gonna be be be here here here for for for a a a while, while, while, it it it looks looks looks like, like, like, and and and we we we s ll s ll s ll have have boyfriends and your career to cover. Monica: Oh God! (They hug.) [Cut to the hospital, later. Everyone is talking about Nana.] Monica: The fuzzy li le mints at the bo om of her purse. Ross: Oh! ...Yeah, they were gross. Oh, you know what I loved? Her Sweet 'n' Los. How she was always stealing them from- from restaurants. Mr. Geller: Not just restaurants, from our house. (The nurse comes out of Nana's room.) Nurse: Mrs. Geller? (Everyone stands up. Cut to Ross and Monica in Nana's room.) Ross: She looks so small. Monica: I know. Ross: Well, at least she's with Pop-Pop and Aunt Phyllis now. Monica: G'bye, Nana. (She kisses her on the forehead.) Ross: Bye, Nana. (He goes to kiss her but she moves. Monica screams. Ross shouts and stares in disbelief. Monica runs out of the room.) Monica: Ross! (Ross runs out too.) Mrs. Geller: What is going on?! Ross: Y'know how-how the nurse said that-that Nana had passed? Well, she's not, quite.. Mrs. Geller: What? Ross: She's not- past, she's present, she's back. Aunt Lillian: (reentering) What's going on? Mr. Geller: She may have died. Aunt Lillian: She may have died? Mr. Geller: We're looking into it. (Monica returns with the nurse and they go into Nana's room.) Ross: I, uh, I'll go see. (He goes in) Nurse: This almost never happens! (Nana passes for the second me and the nurse pulls the blanket over her. Ross and Monica go to tell the family) Ross: Now she's passed. [Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Phoebe, Joey, and Rachel are there.] Chandler: I just have to know, okay. Is it my hair? Rachel: (exasperated) Yes, Chandler, that's exactly what it is. It's your hair. Phoebe: Yeah, you have homosexual hair. (Monica and Ross enter.) Rachel: So, um, did she... Ross: Twice. Joey: Twice? Phoebe: Oh, that sucks! Joey: You guys okay? Ross: I dunno, it's weird. I mean, I know she's gone, but I just don't feel, uh... Phoebe: Maybe that's 'cause she's not really gone. Ross: Nono, she's gone. Monica: We checked. A lot. Phoebe: Hm, I mean maybe no-one ever really goes. Ever since my mom died, every now and then, I get the feeling that she's like right here, y'know? (She circles her hand around her right shoulder. Chandler, si ng on her right, draws back nervously) Oh! And Debbie, my best friend from junior high- got struck by lightning on a miniature golf course- I always get this really strong Debbie vibe whenever I use one of those li le yellow pencils, y'know? ...I miss her. Rachel: Aw. Hey, Pheebs, want this? (Gives her a pencil) Phoebe: Thanks! Rachel: Sure. I just sharpened her this morning. Joey: Now, see, I don't believe any of that. I think once you're dead, you're dead! You're gone! You're worm food! (realises his tactlessness) ...So Chandler looks gay, huh? Phoebe: Y'know, I dunno who this is, but it's not Debbie. (Hands back the pencil) [Scene: Nana's house, Ross, Mrs. Geller and Aunt Lillian are going through clothes.] Ross: I thought it was gonna be a closed casket. Mrs. Geller: Well, that doesn't mean she can't look nice! (They open a cupboard which, amongst other things, contains a chest of drawers) Mrs. Geller: Swee e, you think you can get in there? Ross: (sarcas c) I don't see why not. (He tries pushing against the chest of drawers. Then he opens one of the drawers and climbs into the closet using that; he falls behind the chest of drawers with a shout.) Ross: Here's my retainer! [Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is talking to her father.] Mr. Geller: I was just thinking. When my me comes- Monica: Dad! Mr. Geller: Listen to me! When my me comes, I wanna be buried at sea. Monica: You what? Mr. Geller: I wanna be buried at sea, it looks like fun. Monica: Define fun. Mr. Geller: C'mon, you'll make a day of it! You'll rent a boat, pack a lunch... Monica: ...And then we throw your body in the water... Gee, that does sound fun. . Mr . Geller: Geller: Geller: Everyone Everyone Everyone thinks thinks thinks they they they know know know me. me. me. Everyone Everyone Everyone says says says 'Jack 'Jack 'Jack Geller, Geller, Geller, so so so predictable'. predictable'. predictable'. Maybe Maybe a er I'm gone, they'll say 'Buried at sea! Huh!'. Monica: That's probably what they'll say. Mr. Geller: I'd like that. [Scene: Chandler's Office, Shelley is drinking coffee; Chandler enters.] Chandler: Hey, gorgeous. Shelley: (sheepish) Hey. Look, I'm sorry about yesterday, I, um- Chandler: No, nono, don't- don't worry about it. Believe me, apparently other people have made the same mistake. Shelley: Oh! Okay! Phew! Chandler: So, uh... what do you think it is about me? Shelley: I dunno, uh... you just have a-a... Chandler: ...Quality, right, great. Shelley: Y'know, it's a shame, because you and Lowell would've made a great couple. Chandler: Lowell? Financial Services' Lowell, that's who you saw me with? Shelley: What? He's cute! Chandler: Well, yeah... 's'no Brian in Payroll. Shelley: Is Brian...? Chandler: No! Uh, I d'know! The point is, if you were gonna set me up with someone, I'd like to think you'd set me up with someone like him. Shelley: Well, I think Brian's a li le out of your league. Chandler: Excuse me? You don't think I could get a Brian? Because I could get a Brian. Believe you me. ...I'm really not. [Scene: Nana's Bedroom, Ross is holding a dress out from inside the closet.] Ross: (holding a dress out from inside the closet) This one? Aunt Lillian: No. Ross: I have shown you everything we have. Unless you want your mother to spend eternity in a lemon yellow pant-suit, go with the burgundy. Aunt Lillian: You know, whatever we pick, she would've told us it's the wrong one. Mrs. Geller: You're right. We'll go with the burgundy. Ross: Oh! A fine choice. I'm coming out. (Starts to climb over the furniture) Aunt Lillian: Wait! We need shoes! (Ross falls back inside) Ross: Okay. Um, how about these? (Holds out a pair) Mrs. Geller: That's really a day shoe. Ross: And where she's going everyone else'll be dressier? Aunt Lillian: Could we see something in a slimmer heel? Ross: (forages around) Okay, I have nothing in an evening shoe in the burgundy. I can show you something in a silver that may work. Aunt Lillian: No, it really should be burgundy. Mrs. Geller: Mm. Unless we go with a different dress? Ross: No! Nonono, wait a sec. I may have something in the back. (He finds a shoebox (out of shot), pulls it down and opens it. It is full of Sweet 'n' Lo's.) Ross: Oh my God.. Mrs. Geller: Is everything all right, dear? Ross: Yeah, just... just Nana stuff. (He reaches up higher and knocks down another shoebox lid. Sweet 'n' Lo's rain down on him) Commercial Break [Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are preparing to leave for the funeral.] Ross: (entering) How we doing, you guys ready? Monica: Mom already called this morning to remind me not to wear my hair up. Did you know my ears are not my best feature? Ross: Some days it's all I can think about. Phoebe: (entering) Hi, sorry I'm late, I couldn't find my bearings. Rachel: Oh, you-you mean your earrings? Phoebe: What'd I say? Rachel: (s cking her foot out) Hm-m. Monica: Are these the shoes? Rachel: Yes. Paolo sent them from Italy. Ross: What, we-uh- we don't have shoes here, or...? Joey: (entering with Chandler) Morning. We ready to go? Chandler: Well, don't we look nice all dressed up?...It's stuff like that, isn't it? (They all leave.) [Scene: The cemetary, a er the funeral.] Monica: It was a really beau ful service. Mrs. Geller: It really was. Oh, c'mere, sweetheart. (Hugs her) Y'know, I think it might be me for you to start using night cream. (Joey listens to his overcoat for a second and sighs, then no ces Chandler watching) Joey: What? Chandler: Nothing, just your overcoat sounds remarkably like Brent Mussberger. Joey: Check it out, Giants-Cowboys. (He has a pocket TV) Chandler: You're watching a football game at a funeral? Joey: No, it's the pre-game. I'm gonna watch it at the recep on. Chandler: You are a frightening, frightening man. (Rachel steps in a patch of mud) Rachel: Oh no! My new Paolo shoes! Ross: Oh, I hope they're not ruined. Phoebe: God, what a great day. ...What? Weather-wise! Ross: Ross: I I I know, know, know, uh, uh, uh, the the the air, air, air, the-the the-the the-the trees... trees... trees... even even even though though though Nana's Nana's Nana's gone gone gone there's, there's, there's, there's there's there's something something almost, uh- I dunno, almost life-aff- (Not looking where he is going he falls into an open grave) All: God! Ross! Ross: I'm fine. Just-just... having my worst fear realised... [Scene: The Wake, at the Gellers' house. Ross is lying on his back, with Phoebe squa ng over him, checking to see if he's injured.] Phoebe: Okay, don't worry, I'm just checking to see if the muscle's in spasm...huh. Ross: What, what is it? Phoebe: You missed a belt loop. Ross: Oh! No-n- Phoebe: Okay, it's in spasm. Mrs. Mrs. Geller: Geller: Geller: Here, Here, Here, swee e, swee e, swee e, here. here. here. I I I took took took these these these when when when I I had had my my my golfing golfing golfing accident. accident. accident. (Hands (Hands (Hands Ross Ross Ross a a bo le of pills. Then turns to Monica and pats her hair over her ears) (Cut to Chandler and a woman, Andrea, reaching for the same slice of meat) Chandler: Oh, no- Andrea: Sorry- Hi, I'm Dorothy's daughter. Chandler: Hi, I'm Chandler, and I have no idea who Dorothy is. (They shake hands. Cut to Ross emerging from a hallway, grinning inanely. He is obviously very stoned) Phoebe: Hey, look who's up! How do you feel? Ross: I feel great. I feel- great, I fleel great. Monica: Wow, those pills really worked, huh? Ross: Not the first two, but the second two- woooo! ...I love you guys. You guys are the greatest. I love my sister (Kisses Monica), I love Pheebs... (Hugs her) Phoebe: Ooh! That's so nice... Ross: ...Chandler! Chandler: Hey. Ross: (hugs him) And listen, man, if you wanna be gay, be gay. Doesn't ma er to me. Andrea: (turns to a friend) You were right. (They walk off and leave Chandler.) Ross: Rachel. Rachel Rachel. (Sits down beside her) I love you the most. Rachel: (humouring him) Oh, well you know who I love the most? Ross: No. Rachel: You! Ross: Oh.. you don't get it! (Passes out and slumps across her) (Cut to Joey watching TV in the corner. He makes an extravagant gesture of disappointment.) Mr. Geller: Whaddya got there? Joey: (hides the TV, but he s ll has an earphone) Just a, uh... hearing disability. Mr. Geller: What's the score? Joey: Seventeen-fourteen Giants... three minutes to go in the third. Mr. Geller: Beau ful! (Turns to watch with him) (Time lapse. A large crowd of men are now watching the game) Rachel: (s ll trapped under Ross) Pheebs, could you maybe hand me a cracker? Mrs. Geller: (to Monica) Your grandmother would have hated this. Monica: Well, sure, what with it being her funeral and all. Mrs. Geller: No, I'd be hearing about 'Why 'Why didn't didn't I get the h oney-glazed honey-glazed honey-glazed ham?', ham?', I didn't spend enough on flowers, and if I spent more she'd be saying 'Why are you was ng your money? I don't need flowers, I'm dead'. Monica: That sounds like Nana. Mrs. Geller: Do you know what it's like to grow up with someone who is cri cal of every single thing you say? Monica: ...I can imagine. Mrs. Geller: I'm telling you, it's a wonder your mother turned out to be the posi ve, life-affirming person that she is. Monica: That is a wonder. So tell me something, Mom. If you had to do it all over again, I mean, if she was here right now, would you tell her? Mrs. Geller: Tell her what? Monica: How she drove you crazy, picking on every li le detail, like your hair... for example. Mrs. Geller: I'm not sure I know what you're ge ng at. Monica: Do you think things would have been be er if you'd just told her the truth? Mrs. Geller: ...No. I think some things are be er le unsaid. I think it's nicer when people just get along. Monica: Huh. Mrs. Geller: More wine, dear? Monica: Oh, I think so. Mrs. Mrs. Geller: Geller: Geller: (reaches (reaches (reaches out out out to to to fiddle fiddle fiddle with with with Monica's Monica's Monica's hair hair hair again, again, again, and and and realises) realises) realises) Those Those Those earrings earrings earrings look look really lovely on you. Monica: Thank you. They're yours. Mrs. Geller: Actually they were Nana's. (There is a cry of disappointment from the crowd of men.) Mr. Geller: Now I'm depressed! ...(To everyone) Even more than I was. [Scene: Central Perk, the gang are looking at old photos.] Rachel: Hey, who's this li le naked guy? Ross: That li le naked guy would be me. Rachel: Aww, look at the li le thing. Ross: Yes, yes, fine, that is my penis. Can we be grown-ups now? Chandler: Who are those people? Ross: Got me. Monica: Oh, that's Nana, right there in the middle. (Reads the back) 'Me and the gang at Java Joe's'. Rachel: Wow, Monica, you look just like your grandmother. How old was she there? Monica: Let's see, 1939... yeah, 24, 25? Ross: Looks like a fun gang. (They all look at each other and smile) Joey: Ooh, look-look-look-look-look! I got Monica naked! Ross: (looking) Nono, that would be me again. I'm, uh, just trying something. Closing Credits [Scene: Chandler's Office, Chandler is on a coffee break as Lowell enters.] Chandler: Hey, Lowell. Lowell: Hey, Chandler. Chandler: So how's it going there in Financial Services? Lowell: It's like Mardi Gras without the paper mache heads. How 'bout you? Chandler: Good, good. Listen, heh, I dunno what Shelley told you about me, but, uh... I'm not. Lowell: I know. That's what I told her. Chandler: Really. Lowell: Yeah. Chandler: So- you can tell? Lowell: Pre y much, most of the me. We have a kind of... radar. Chandler: So you don't think I have a, a quality? Lowell: Speaking for my people, I'd have to say no. By the way, your friend Brian from Payroll, he is. Chandler: He is? Lowell: Yup, and waaay out of your league. (Exits) Chandler: Out of my league. I could get a Brian. (Brian enters behind him) If I wanted to get a Brian, I could get a Brian. (Sees him) Hey, Brian. End 。

《F r i e n d s》剧本（第一季）101 The One Where Monica Gets a New Roommate (The Pilot-The Uncut Version) [Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica are there.]Monica: There's nothing to tell! He's just some guy I work with!没什么好说的！他不过是我的同事！Joey: C'mon, you're going out with the guy! There's gotta be something wrong with him!少来了，你和那个人一起出去！和你交往的男人一定有问题！Chandler: All right Joey, be nice. So does he have a hump A hump and a hairpiece 打住，乔伊，最下留德。

他驼背？即驼背又戴假发？Phoebe: Wait, does he eat chalk慢着，他吃粉笔吗？(They all stare, bemused.)Phoebe: Just, 'cause, I don't want her to go through what I went through with Carl- oh!我只是不想你重蹈我和卡尔的覆辙Monica: Okay, everybody relax. This is not even a date. It's just two people going out to dinner and- not having sex.各位别急，这不算是约会。

我们不过是出去一起吃晚餐，而不是做爱。

Chandler: Sounds like a date to me.听起来像是说我的约会。

[转载]⽼友记第⼀季第⼋集内容解析原⽂地址：⽼友记第⼀季第⼋集内容解析作者：Bingo教你说美语1.dehydrated japanese noodles under fluorescent lights.这边就说下⽣词，dehydrate表⽰使...脱⽔⼲燥；fluorescent表⽰荧光的.⽇本⼈Japanese的带有歧视⾊彩叫法是Jap.2.Are you dating somebody?⼝语中约会还经常⽤see来表⽰, Are you seeing someone?也表⽰你是不是在恋爱3.flush v. 马桶冲⽔4.let their guards downlet sb's guards down表⽰某⼈放松警惕，这个其实前⾯有集已经讲过了，所以顺便说下，以后不讲重复的了。

5.heterosexual. 异性恋也可以⽤straight这个形容词来表⽰. I am a heterosexual = I am straight = i am not gay= i am not a homo(homosexual).6.your Dad just beeped in.beep in. 电话⽤语，你在接电话时有⼈打过来⽤。

7.what's with your hair?这边要说的就是what's wrong的wrong可以省略的。

What's with you? = What's wrong with you?8.fuzzy little mints at the bottom of her purse.fuzzy表⽰模糊的，mint表⽰薄荷，巨额，造币⼚等。

purse要说下，不是我们意义上的钱包。

purse在美国是那种⼩钱袋或者⼥⼠单肩挎包(在英国可指钱包，但也只是⼥⼠会⽤)。

⽽现在中国很多男的也背这种包，所以⽼外就笑man-purse,即murse.9.gross.恶⼼的= disgusting10.Nana.=grandmother=grandma; father=pa=papa=dad=daddy; mother=mom=ma=mama11.every now and then 时不时地12.junior high 初中；⾼中是senior high. middle school表⽰中学（初中和⾼中）13.The non-protective corrugated fiberboard with white laminate.non-是否定前缀； corrugated表⽰起皱的；fiberboard表⽰纤维板；laminate表⽰薄板14.kea.⾁⾷鹦鹉15.casket ⼩盒⼦；有⼈死的时候表⽰棺材或者⾻灰盒，也叫coffin(棺材)16.retainer 医学⽅⾯的矫形器17.make a day of it.充分利⽤这天，痛痛快快high⼀场。

121 The One With The Fake Monica[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is looking at papers.] Joey: How could someone get a hold of your credit card number? Monica: I have no idea. But look how much they spent!Rachel:Monica, would you calm down? The credit card people said that yo u only have to pay for the stuff that you bought.Monica: I know. It's just such reckless spending.Ross: I think when someone steals your credit card, they've kind of already thrown cautio n to the wind.Chandler: Wow, what a geek. They spent $69.95 on a Wonder Mop. Monica: That's me.Phoebe:Oh! The yuk! Ross, he's doing it again! (Points to a lamp which is shaking behind the sofa)Ross: Marcel, stop humping the lamp! Stop humping! Now Marcel, come back- (Marcel runs toward Rachel's room) come here, Marcel- Rachel: Oh no, not in my room! I'll get him.Monica: Ross, you've got to do something about the humping. Ross: What? It's, it's just a phase.Chandler: Well, that's what we said about Joey...Ross: Would you all relax? It's not that big a deal.Rachel: (Out of shot) Stop it! Marcel! Bad monkey!Ross: What?Rachel: Let's just s ay my Curious George doll is no longer curious. Opening Credits[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, late at night Monica is still examining her bill as Rachel emerges from her room.]Rachel: Oh, Monica. You are not still going over that thing. Monica: This woman's living my life.Rachel: What?Monica:She's living my life, and she's doing it better than me! Look at this, look. She buys tickets for plays that I wanna see. She, she buys clothes from stores that I'm intimidated by the sales people. She spent three hundred dollars on art supplies.Rachel: You're not an artist.Monica: Yeah, well I might be if I had the supplies! I mean, I could do all this stuff. Only I don't.Rachel: Oh, Monica, c'mon, you do cool things.Monica: Oh really? Okay, let's compare, shall we.Rachel: (Yawning) Oh, it's so late for 'Shall we'...Monica: Do I go horseback riding in the park? Do I take classes at the New School?Rachel: (Yawning) Nooo...Monica:This is so unfair! She's got everything I want, and she doesn't have my mother.[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Chandler are discussing stage names.] Chandler: How about Joey... Pepponi? 121 假莫妮卡怎有人知道你的信用卡号码? 我也不知道你看他们花了多少钱摩妮卡，冷静一下好吗?信用卡的人说你只须付你所买的东西我知道，他真是挥霍无度我想他偷去你的信用卡时根本就已忘了王法真是个变态花了69•95元买”神奇拖把”我买的真的，它又来马修，别再侵犯那盏灯了马修，回来…不，又到我房里了我去抓它出来罗斯，你得想办法阻止什么?这只是个阶段我们当时也是这么说乔伊的你们冷静点行吗?这又没什么了不起马修，停，坏猴子又怎么了?我只能说我的好奇乔治玩偶不再好奇摩妮卡，你还是无法释怀这女人过着我的生活什么?她过着我的生活而且过得比我好，看她买的戏票是我一直想看的戏她买的衣服是我早就想买的她花了三百块买艺术用品你又不是艺术家如果有艺术用品我或许已是个艺术家我本来可以的，只是现在不是导演：盖尔曼库索摩妮卡，别泄气你做的工作很酷真的?我们来做比较，好吗? 现在说”好吗”有点太迟了我到过公园骑马吗?我在新学校上过课吗?Joey:No, still too ethnic. My agent thinks I should have a name that's more neutral.Chandler: Joey... Switzerland?(The waitress brings their coffee.)Joey: Plus, y'know, I think it should be Joe. Y'know, Joey makes me sound like I'm, I dunno, this big. (Waitress looks at him funny) Which I'm not.Chandler: Joe...Joe...Joe...Stalin?Joey: Stalin...Stalin...do I know that name? It sounds familiar. Chandler: Well, it does not ring a bell with me...Joey: (Writes it down) Joe Stalin. Y'know, that's pretty good. Chandler: Might wanna try Joseph.(Joey visibly thinks 'Of course!' and writes it down.)Joey: Joseph Stalin. I think you'd remember that!Chandler: Oh yes! Bye Bye Birdie, starring Joseph Stalin. Joseph Stalin is the Fiddler on the Roof.[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is there as Phoebe and Rachel enter.]Rachel: Hey.Phoebe: Hey.Monica: Hi. (On the phone) Hi, uh, yes, this is Monica Geller. Um, I believe I'm taking some classes with you and I was wondering what they were.Phoebe: What are you doing?Monica:(Hushes her) Alright, great. Thanks a lot. (Hangs up) I'm going to tap class.Rachel: What, what, so that you can dance with the woman that stole your credit card?Monica: This woman's got my life, I should get to see who she is. Rachel: Go to the post office! I'm sure her picture's up! ...Okay, Monica, y'know what, honey, you're kinda losing it here! I mean, this is really becoming like a weird obsession thing.Phoebe: This is madness. It's madness, I tell you, for the love of God, Monica, don't do it!! ...Thank you.[Scene: A Tap Class, the girls are standing a t the door.] Monica: What d'you think?Phoebe: Lotsa things.(They go in and sit down.)Rachel: Which one do you think she is?(The teacher comes up to them.)Teacher: May I help you?Monica: Oh, no thanks, we're just here to observe.Teacher: You don't observe a dance class. You dance a dance class. Spare shoes are over there.Rachel: What does she mean?Phoebe: I think she means (Imitates) 'You dance a dance class'. Oh, c'mon, c'mon. (They put on some spare shoes)Monica: Okay, d'y'see anybody you think could be me? 没有这太不公平了她拥有我想要的一切而且她没有我妈乔依帕波尼如何?不好，太有种族意味了我的经纪人认为我该取个中立一点的名字乔伊瑞士?而且，我应该就是乔乔伊让我感觉…这么大我不是乔…乔斯大林?斯大林，我认识这名字吗?听得很熟悉.我没印象乔斯大林，这名字很好或许你想试试乔瑟夫乔瑟夫斯大林我好像记得这个名字”别了，鸟儿”乔瑟夫斯大林主演”屋顶上的提琴手”中的乔瑟夫史达林对，我是摩妮卡格勒我想有在你们那里上课我想知道是哪些课你在干什么?太好了，谢谢我要去上踢踏舞课这样你就可以和偷你信用卡的人一起上课?这女人偷走了我的生活我应该去看看她是何方神圣去邮局看我想她的照片会公布的摩妮卡，你有点失去理智了你被这件事所完全操控这叫疯狂上帝保佑，摩妮卡别这么做谢谢你们怎么认为?很多你认为是哪一个?我能帮你们什么吗?我们是来参观的舞蹈课不是参观来的舞蹈课来跳舞的那儿有舞鞋Teacher:(To the class) People! Last time there were some empty yoghurt containers lying around after class. Let's not have that happen again! Rachel: She could be you.(Music starts)Teacher: Let's get started. Five, six, a-five six seven eight... (Everyone starts to dance in unison. Monica flounders)Monica: Okay, I'm not getting this!Phoebe:(Dancing in a swirly, Phoebe kind of way) I'm totally getting it!Monica:Did you ever feel like sometimes you are just so unbelievably uncoordinated?(Rachel taps into view; she is in perfect sync with the rest of the class)Rachel: What? You just click wh en they click.Teacher: Alright people, now everyone grab a partner.(The girls are unsure how to pair off. Phoebe settles it) Phoebe: Okay. And, my, dead, mother, says, you, are, it. I'm with Rachel.Monica: Great. It's gym class all over again.Phoebe and Rachel: Aww.Teacher:Well that's all right, you can come up to the front and dance with me.Monica: Why don't I just take off my clothes and have a nightmare. (She starts to walk very slowly toward the front of the room. The teacher grabs her hand and pulls her. Suddenly a woman bursts in) Woman:It's okay, it's okay, I'm here, I'm here. Sorry I'm late, okay, here I am. Who's the new tense girl?Teacher: She's your partner.Woman: Hi. I'm Monica.Monica: Oh. Monica! ...Hi. I'm Mo- ...nana.Woman: (Fake Monica) Monana?Monica: Yeah. It's Dutch.Fake Monica:You're kidding! I-I spent three years in Amsterdam. (Asks her something in Dutch)Monica: Um, Pennsylvania Dutch.Teacher: And we're dancing. A-five, six, seven, eight... [Scene: Central Perk, Ross is entering.]Ross: (Mortified) Hi.Chandler and Joey: Hey.Joey: Where've you been?Ross: At the vet.Chandler:She's not gonna make you wear one of those big plastic cones, is she?Ross: She says Marcel's humping thing's not a phase. Apparently he's reached sexual maturity.Joey: (To Chandler) Hey! He beat ya.Ross: She says as time goes on, he's gonna start getting agressive and violent. 什么意思?我想她是叫我们进去跳真的?好吧有看见我的分身吗?各位，上回有人在教室留下酸乳空瓶希望别再发生那种事她可能是你开始吧我跟不上我完全融人你不会觉得自己有时毫无协调感吗?怎么了?只要他们踢的时候你踢就是了各位找个舞伴我死去的妈说就是你我和瑞秋这下可好体育课的旧事又重演了无所谓，你过来和我一起跳我何不脱下衣服来场恶梦?没关系，我来了抱歉，我迟到我来了那个紧张的新人是谁?你的舞伴我叫摩妮卡摩妮卡我叫摩娜娜摩娜娜?对，是荷兰人的名字你在开玩笑吧我在阿姆斯特丹住了三年我是宾州的荷兰人开始吧你上哪儿去了我刚从兽医回来她没叫你戴那种塑胶套吧?她说马修乱性不是暂时的显然它已性成熟嘿,它找过你呢她说它会越来越暴力侵略性越强这代表什么?我们不能再养它了我真不敢相信，这真是太扯了我不懂，你才刚养它它怎会突然性成熟?Chandler: So what does this mean?Ross: I'm gonna have to give him up.Commercial Break[Scene: Central Perk, scene continued from earlier. They guys are sitting there like the Three Monkeys.]Joey: I can't believe it, Ross. This sucks!Chandler: I don't get it, I mean, you just got him. How can he be an adult already?Ross: I know. I know. I mean, one day, he's this little thing, and before you know it, he's this little thing I can't get off my leg. Joey: Isn't there any way you can keep him?Ross:No, no. The vet says unless he's in a place where he has regular access to some... monkey lovin,' he's just gonna get vicious. I've just gotta get him into a zoo.Joey: How do you get a monkey into a zoo?Chandler: I know that one! ...No, that's Popes into a Volkswagen. Ross:Well, we're applying to a lot of them. Naturally our first cho ice would be one of the bigger state zoos, y'know, like, uh, San Diego... right? But that might just be a pipe dream, because, y'know, he's out of state. Uh, my vet, uh, knows someone at Miami, so that's a possibility.Chandler:Yeah, but that's like two blocks away from the beach. I mean, it's a total party zoo.(Phoebe, Monica, and Rachel enters.)Phoebe: Hey. We found her, we found the girl.Chandler: What?Joey: Did you call the cops?Rachel: Nope. We took her to lunch.Chandler: Ah. Your own brand of vigilante justice.Ross: What?! Are you insane? This woman stole from you. She stole. She's a stealer.Monica:Y'know what? After you're with this woman for like ten minutes, you forget all that. I mean, she is this astounding person, with this, with this amazing spirit.Ross: Yeah, which she probably stole from some cheerleader. Chandler: ...Take off their hats!Phoebe: Popes in a Volkswagen! ...I love that joke.[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Rachel and Fake Monica are there.]Rachel: No way. No way did you do this.Fake Monica: Monana was very brave.Monica: It was so wild. We told them we were the Gunnersens in room six fifteen. Only to find out the Boston Celtics had taken over the entire sixth floor!Fake Monica: So once they caught on to the fact that we're, y'know, short and have breasts...Monica: ...They threw us out! I was thrown out of a hotel! Me! Rachel: Go Mon ana! Well, you ladies are not the only ones living the 我知道，之前它只是个小东西不知不觉中它就紧抓住我的腿不放你没有任何办法再饲养它吗?没办法她说除非有个地方让它获得正常的猴爱它会变得愈来愈残暴我得将它送到动物园你如何把它送进动物园?我知道不，那是教皇进入福斯汽车我们到处申请当然大型州立动物园是优先考虑比方说圣地牙哥动物园那可能只是遥不可及的梦想因为它在加州兽医说她认识迈阿密的朋友或许有可能那儿似乎离海滩只有两条街一定是个疯狂动物园我们找到她了你们喊警察了吗?没有，我们和她吃午餐你们自己的”自治正义”你疯了?那女人偷了你的东西她是个小偷和这女人相处十分钟后你就会把这些全忘了她简直是奇女子振奋人心她可能是从某位啦啦队队员那儿偷来的脱下他们的帽子福斯车上的教皇我喜欢这个笑话不可能，你不可能这么做摩娜娜相当勇敢真是太疯狂了我说我们是615房的冈氏姐妹结果波士顿塞尔提克已包下整个六楼他们知道我们又矮又有胸部时他们就把我们轰出来我被轰出饭店，我干得好，摩娜娜不是只有你们活在梦中我得去为我不认识的人倒咖啡不用等我了对了，明天我们要去参加百老汇的试演dream. I get to go pour coffee for people I don't know. Don't wait up. (Exits)Fake Monica:Oh, by the way, tomorrow we're auditioning for a Broadway show.Monica: 'Scuse me?Fake Monica: There's an open call for Cats. I'm thinking we go down there, sing Memories and make complete fools of ourselves. Whaddya say?Monica:Nononononono. Think who you're dealing with here. I mean, I'm not like you. I-I can't even stand in front of a tap class.Fake Monica:Well, that's just probably 'cause of your Amish background.Monica: What?Fake Monica: Well, you're Pennsylvania Dutch, right?Monica: Right. Till I bought a blow dryer, then I was shunned. Fake Monica: I-I used to be just like you. And then one day I saw a movie that changed my life. Did you ever see Dead Poets' Society? Monica: Uh-huh.Fake Monica:I thought that movie was so incredibly... boring. I mean, that thing at the end where the kid kills himself because he can't be in the play? What was that?! It's like, kid, wait a year, leave home, do some communit y theatre. I walked out of there and I thought, 'Now, that's two hours of my life that I'm never getting back.' And that thought scared me more than all the other crap I was afraid to do.Monica: Wow. Then I would definitely not recommend Mrs. Doubtfire. [Scene: Monica and Rachel's, tiem lapse. Everyone but Joey and Monica are there.]Ross:(Reading letters) Oh God. (To Marcel) We didn't get into Scranton. (To the others) That was like our safety zoo. They take like dogs and cows. See? I don't know who this is harder on, me or him. Phoebe: I'd say that chair's taking the brunt.Ross: Marcel! Marcel! Marcel, no! Good boy. See, how can nobody want him?Rachel: Oh, somebody will.Joey: (entering) You know there already is a Joseph Stalin? Chandler: You're kidding.Joey: Apparently he was this Russian dictator who slaughtered all these people. You'd think you would've known that!Chandler: Y'know, you'd think I would've.Joey: Phoebe. Whaddyou think a good stage name for me would be? Phoebe: ...Flame Boy.[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is talking to Dr. Baldhara, a zookeeper.] Ross: Where exactly is your zoo?Dr. Baldhara: Well, it's technically not a zoo per se, it's more of an interactive wildlife experience. Let me ask you some questions about, is it, uh, Marcel?Ross: Yes. 什么?”猫”剧还有一个缺额我想我们可以去唱”回忆”让自己当个傻子，如何?不，记得你身旁的人是谁我和你不一样我连站在踢踏舞教室前都有困难因为你有阿米许的血统什么?你不是宾州荷兰人吗?对，直到我买了吹风机被逐出村里我过去也和你一样有一天我看了出改变我人生的电影看过春风化雨吗?我认为这电影实在是太…无聊了那孩子在电影的结局时自杀只因他无法演出话剧?这是在干什么?他再等一年离家，到社区话剧团去走出电影院时我想我这逝去两小时的生命永远不再回这想法震惊了我从此我便及时行乐那么我不敢推荐”窈充奶爸”了上帝我们进不了斯克兰顿了那是我们最后的选择他们连狗和牛都收我不懂是我还是它比较难受我想应该椅子最可怜马修…不乖，为何没人要它?一定有人会要的早就有人叫乔瑟夫斯大林了开什么玩笑显然他是屠杀各种民族的俄国独裁者你怎么会不知道是啊菲此你认为我该取什么艺名?火焰男孩你的动物园在哪儿?就技术上而言不算是动物园而是一种互动式野生动物体验我想请教你几个问题我想请教你几个问题它会和其他动物打架吗?Dr. Baldhara: Does he, uh, fight with other animals?Ross: No-no, he's, he's very docile.Dr. Baldhara: Even if he were... cornered?Ross: Well I, I don't know. Why?Dr. Baldhara: Uh, how is he at handling small objects?Ross: He can hold a banana, if that's whatcha mean...Dr. Baldhara: How about a hammer, or a small blade?Ross: Why- why- why would he need a blade?Dr. Baldhara:Well, if he's up against a jungle cat or an animal with horns, you've got to give the little guy something. Otherwise it's just cruel.(Chandler and Joey burst in, with Marcel)Chandler and Joey: He- he- he got in, he- he got in to San Diego. Joey:We, we come back from our walk and the- the phone was ringing... Chandler: ...He's in.Ross: He's in! Oh, did you hear that, Marcel? San Diego. San Diego! Dr. Baldhara: You're making a big mistake here. I mean, San Diego's all well and good, but if you give him to me, I'll start him off against a blind rabbit and give you twenty percent of the gains. [Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is dusting. She comes to the table, lifts all the magazines and wipes under them, then just puts them down again. Monica bursts in, obviously drunk.]Monica: Yo- hooo!Rachel: Where the hell've you been?Monica: Monica and I just crashed an embassy party.Rachel: Are y ou drunk?!Monica: Noooo! (Comes closer and whispers) I'm lying. I am so drunk. Rachel:Oh God, oh. Great, Monica, y'know what, you could've called, I have been up here, I've been worried...(Monica is drinking from the tap)Rachel: Monica? Monica!Monica: Water rules!Rachel: Yes, yes, it does. Okay, look, the restaurant called, they wanna know if you're gonna be showing up for work?Monica: Nope. Going to the Big Apple Circus today.Rachel: Okay Monica, what are you doing? You're gonna lose your job! This is not you!Monica: No, it is me! Y'know, I'm not just the person who needs to fluff the pillows and pay the bills as soon as they come in! Y'know, when I'm with her, I am so much more than that. I'm- I'm Monana! (The phone rings and Rachel answers)Rachel: Hello? Yes, she is, hold on a second, please. Monana, it's for you, the credit card people.Monica: Helloooo? Yeah. Oh my God. Thanks.Rachel: What?Monica: They've arrested Monica.[Scene: New York City Department of Correction, Monica is visiting Fake Monica.] 不会的，它非常温驯如果被逼进角落里去时呢?我不知道，干嘛问?它掌控小东西的能力为何?它会拿香蕉如果你是这意思的话铁槌或小刀呢?为什么?为何要小刀?面对狮虎或有角的动物你得拿些东西给它自我防卫否则就太残忍了它能去圣地牙哥了什么?我们散步回来声见电话铃响然后它就录取了听见没，马修，是圣地牙哥你大错特错了圣地牙哥环境良好没错如果你把它交给我我就能训练它对抗瞎眼的兔子而且我还可以给你百分之二十的门票收入你到底跑哪儿去了?我和摩妮卡刚跑去参加大使馆舞会你喝醉了?才没有呢骗你的，我醉醺醺的摩妮卡，你该打通电话回来的我一直在家里担心你摩妮卡好过瘾没错餐厅今天又来电了他们想知道你还要不要去上班不去我今天要去大苹果马戏团摩妮卡，你在干什么?你快丢掉工作了，你变了不，这正是我我不只是那种必须拍松枕头帐单一来立刻去缴款的人和她在一起我就超越了那种人我是摩娜娜对，她在，等等摩娜娜，你的电话信用卡公司打来的是吗?天那谢谢Monica: Hi.Fake Monica: Hey.Monica: How are you?Fake Monica: I'm not too bad. Fortunately, blue's my colour. How-how did you know I was here?Monica: Because... I'm Monica Geller. It was my credit card you were using.Fake Monica: That I was not expecting.Monica: I want you to know, it wasn't me who turned you in.Fake Monica: Oh. Thanks.Monica:No, thank you! You have given me so much! I mean, if it wasn't for you, I would never have gotten to sing Memories on the stage at the Wintergarden Theater!Fake Monica: Well, actually, you only got to sing 'Memo-'. Monica: I just can't believe you're in here. I mean, what am I gonna do without you? Who's gonna crash the embassy parties with me? Who's gonna take me to the Big Apple Circus?Fake Monica:Monica, I started my day by peeing in front of twenty-five other women, and you're worried about who's gonna take you to the Big Apple Circus?Monica: Well, not... worried, just... wondering.Fake Monica: There's nothing to wonder about, Monica. You're gonna go back to being exactly who yo u were, because that's who you are. Monica: Not necessarily...Fake Monica: Yes necessarily! I mean, I dunno what it is, maybe it's the Amish thing.Monica: Um, I'm not actually Amish.Fake Monica: Really? Then why are you like that?[Scene: Tap Class, Monica is standing by the door.]Teacher: You by the door. In or out?Monica: In. (She joins in the dancing. She still flounders) Teacher: You in the back, you're getting it all wrong!Monica: Yeah, but at least I'm doing it![Scene: The Airport, everyone but Monica is there to see off Marcel.] PA:This is the final boarding call for flight 67 to San Diego, boarding at gate 42A.Phoebe:Okay. Good-bye, little monkey guy. Alright, I wrote you this poem. Okay, but don't eat it 'till you get on the plane.Ross: Aww. Thank you, Aunt Phoebe.Phoebe: Oh!Chandler:Okay, bye, champ. Now, I know there's gonna be a lot of babes in San Diego, but remember, there's also a lot to learn.Joey: I dunno what to say, Ross. Uh, it's a monkey.Ross: Just, just say what you feel.Joey: Marcel, I'm hungry.Ross: That was good.Rachel: (Brings Marcel a teddy bear) Marcel, this is for you. It's, uh, just, y'know, something to, um, do on the plane. 怎么了?他们已逮到摩妮卡你好吗?不太糟幸好我喜欢蓝色你怎会知道我在这儿?因为我是摩妮卡格勒你用的是我的信用卡真是没想到我想让你知道去报案的人不是我谢谢你你带给我太多了如果不是你我就不可能在冬园剧场唱”回忆”老实说你只开口唱了"回"而已我不敢相信你会在这儿失去你我该怎么办?谁会和我去大使馆宴会谁带我去大苹果马戏团?摩妮卡我在一堆女人面前尿尿展开一天的生活你却担心没人带你去看马戏?不是担心，只是怀疑没什么好怀疑的你继续做你自己因为那才是真正的你那没必要呀.那很必要.我不知道是为什么或许和你是阿米许人有关我不是阿米许人真的?为何你那么怪?门旁的那个，加不加入?加人后面的，你完全跳错了至少我在跳这是飞往圣地牙哥67班机最后一次的登机通知请在42A门登机再见了，小猴子我写了一首诗给你上飞机后才能吃谢谢你，菲此阿姨再见了我知道圣地牙哥那儿你将有许多漂亮美眉Ross: Uh, if you guys don't mind, I'd like to take a moment, just me and him.All: Oh, sure. Sure, absolutely. (They just stand there, then realise what he means and go to the other end of the room)Ross:Marcel, c'mere, c'mere. (He sits down and Marcel jumps down and sits beside him) Well buddy, this is it. There's just a coupla things I want to say. I'm really gonna miss you, and I'm never gonna forget about you. You've been more than just a pet to me, you've been more like a be- (Marcel climbs down and starts humping his leg) Okay, Marcel, please, could you leave my leg alone? Could you just stop humping me for two seconds?! Marcel, would- okay, just take him away. Just take him.(Marcel is put in a cage and taken away.)Closing Credits[Scene: A Theater, there is a casting session going on for a play.] Actor:(Very melodramatically, and very badly) Oh, that I were a glove upon that hand, that I might... touch thy cheek...Casting Director No. 1: That's fine, thank you.Casting Director No. 2: Next. (Joey walks onstage)Joey: Hi, uh, I'll be reading for the role of Me rcutio.Casting Director No. 2: Name?Joey: Holden McGroin.End 记得要学习的也很多我不知该说什么，罗斯它是一只猴子说出你的感觉就成了马修，我饿了这句不错马修，给你的这是给你在飞机上玩的如果不介意我想和它独处当然可以马修，过来小兄弟，就这样了我只想说几句话我会想你的我不会忘记你的在我心中你不只是一只宠物你更是...马修，能放开我的腿吗? 能暂时不要乱来吗?马修…带它走好吗?带它走希望我是你手上的手套这样我就能抚摸你的脸颊行，谢谢下一位我来试”马丘修”的角色名字?麦克葛罗尼。

F r i e n d s剧本第一季101 The One Where Monica Gets a New Roommate The Pilot-The Uncut VersionScene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica are there.Monica: There's nothing to tell He's just some guy I work with 没什么好说的他不过是我的同事Joey: C'mon, you're going out with the guy There's gotta be something wrong with him少来了,你和那个人一起出去和你交往的男人一定有问题Chandler:All right Joey, be nice. So does he have a hump A hump and a hairpiece打住,乔伊,最下留德;他驼背即驼背又戴假发Phoebe: Wait, does he eat chalk慢着,他吃粉笔吗They all stare, bemused.Phoebe:Just, 'cause, I don't want her to go through what I went through with Carl- oh我只是不想你重蹈我和卡尔的覆辙Monica: Okay, everybody relax. This is not even a date. It'sjust two people going out to dinner and- not having sex.各位别急,这不算是约会;我们不过是出去一起吃晚餐,而不是做爱;Chandler: Sounds like a date to me.听起来像是说我的约会;Time LapseChandler:Alright, so I'm back in high school, I'm standing in the middle of the cafeteria, and I realize I am totally naked.记得中学时代的梦, 我站在自助餐厅, 突然发现自己全身赤裸;All: Oh, yeah. Had that dream.我做过那样的梦;Chandler: Then I look down, and I realize there's a phone... there.我低头一看, 看见有一支电话……在那儿;Joey: Instead of...而不是……Chandler: That's right.没错;Joey: Never had that dream.我没做过那样的梦Phoebe: No.没有Chandler:All of a sudden, the phone starts to ring. Now I don't know what to do, everybody starts looking at me.那支电话突然响起, 而我不知道怎么办, 每个人都开始望着我;Monica: And they weren't looking at you before他们以前不看你吗Chandler:Finally, I figure I'd better answer it, and it turns out it's my mother, which is very-very weird, because- she never calls me结果是我妈打来, 我感到很奇怪, 因为我妈不曾打过电话给我Time Lapse, Ross has entered.Ross: mortified Hi.嗨Joey: This guy says hello, I wanna kill myself.这家伙向我打招呼时我就想自杀;Monica: Are you okay, sweetie你还好吧Ross: I just feel like someone reached down my throat, grabbed my small intestine, pulled it out of my mouth and tied it around my neck...我感觉有人把手伸入我的喉咙抓起我的肠子, 从我的口中取出, 然后绑在我脖子上……Chandler: Cookie要饼干吗Monica: explaining to the others Carol moved her stuff out today.卡罗今天把她的东西搬走了Joey: Ohh.Monica: to Ross Let me get you some coffee.我帮你泡杯咖啡, 谢了;Ross: Thanks.Phoebe: Ooh Oh She starts to pluck at the air just in front of Ross.Ross:No, no don't Stop cleansing my aura No, just leave my aura alone, okay不要……别清理我的灵气;可是……别碰我的灵气就是了;Phoebe: FineBe murky好,继续痛苦吧Ross: I'll be fine, alrightReally, everyone. I hope she'll be very happy.没有行了吧真的,各位,我希望她开心Monica: No you don't.不,你并不希望Ross: No I don't, to hell with her, she left me是的,我不希望去她的,她离开了我Joey: And you never knew she was a lesbian...而且你一直都不知道她是女同性恋者;Ross:No Okay Why does everyone keep fixating on that She didn't know, how should I know不知道行了吧为什么每个人都提它她都不知道,我怎么会知道Chandler: Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian... They all stare at him. Did I say that out loud有时候我希望自己是个同性恋……我大声说出来了Ross:I told mom and dad last night, they seemed to take it pretty well.我昨天晚上给我父母说了,他们好像没有什么Monica: Oh really, so that hysterical phone call I got from a woman at sobbing 3:00 ., "I'll never have grandchildren, I'll never have grandchildren." was what A wrong number真的吗,凌晨三点我接到一个电话, 一个女人歇斯底里的向我哭诉,“我不能抱孙子了, 我不能抱孙子了;”那是什么打错了Ross: Sorry.对不起Joey: Alright Ross, look. You're feeling a lot of pain right now. You're angry. You're hurting. Can I tell you what the answer is没事的,罗斯,瞧,你现在感到很痛苦;你很生气,你很伤心,我告诉你答案是什么Ross gestures his consent.Joey: Strip joint C'mon, you're single Have some hormones 脱衣舞酒店; 你单身,有性需求;Ross: I don't want to be single, okayI just... I just- I just wanna be married again我不想单身的; 我只想再结婚;Rachel enters in a wet wedding dress and starts to search the room.Chandler:And I just want a million dollars He extends his hand hopefully.我只想要一百万Monica: Rachel瑞秋Rachel:Oh God Monica hi Thank God I just went to your building and you weren't there and then this guy with a big hammer said you might be here and you are, you are天啊,莫妮卡,谢天谢地;我到过你的住处,你不在; 有个拿着一根大榔头的人说你可能会在这儿, 结果你真的在这儿;Waitress: Can I get you some coffee想来杯咖啡吗Monica:pointing at Rachel De-caff. to All Okay, everybody, thisis Rachel, another Lincoln High survivor. to Rachel This is everybody, this is Chandler, and Phoebe, and Joey, and- you remember my brother Ross想来杯咖啡吗无咖啡因的; 各位,她叫瑞秋, 另一位从林肯高中生存下来的人;这位叫钱德勒, 菲比,乔伊; 还记得我哥罗斯吗Rachel: Hi, sure当然;Ross: Hi.嗨They go to hug but Ross's umbrella opens. He sits back down defeated again. A moment of silence follows as Rachel sits and the others expect her to explain.Monica: So you wanna tell us now, or are we waiting for four wet bridesmaids你想现在告诉我们, 还是等伴娘来再说Rachel:Oh God... well, it started about a half hour before the wedding. I was in the room where we were keeping all the presents,and I was looking at this gravy boat. This really gorgeous Lamauge gravy boat. When all of a sudden- to the waitress that brought her coffeeSweet 'n' Lo- I realized that I was more turned on by this gravy boat than by Barry And then I got really freaked out, and that's when it hit me: how much Barry looks like Mr. Potato Head. Y'know, I mean, I always knew looked familiar, but... Anyway, I just had to get out of there, and I started wondering 'Why am I doing this, and who am I doing this for'. to Monica So anyway I just didn't know where to go, and I know that you and I have kinda drifted apart, but you're the only person I knew who lived here in the city.婚礼前半个小时发生了变数; 我在堆放礼物的房间里, 看着船形卤肉盘, 非常漂后的船形卤肉盘,突然间……有没有代糖我了解船形卤肉盘此巴瑞更能引起我的“性趣”我自己都吓了一跳, 巴瑞愈看愈像猪头先生;我一直都认为他很眼熟; 总之,我必须离开; 我开始想, 我为何这么做我为谁这样做于是我不知该走往何处, 我知道你我日渐疏远; 但是你是我在这个城市, 认识的唯一一个人;Monica: Who wasn't invited to the wedding.好像是唯一没受邀参加婚礼的人;Rachel: Ooh, I was kinda hoping that wouldn't be an issue... Scene: Monica's Apartment, everyone is there and watching a Spanish Soap on TV and are trying to figure out what is goingon.这件事就甭提啦;Monica:Now I'm guessing that he bought her the big pipe organ, and she's really not happy about it.我猜他送她一台管风琴, 她肯定不喜欢;Chandler: imitating the characters Tuna or egg salad Decide金枪鱼还是鸡蛋沙拉快决定Ross: in a deep voice I'll have whatever Christine is having.克里斯吃什么我就吃什么Rachel: on phone Daddy, I just... I can't marry him I'm sorry.I just don't love him. Well, it matters to me爸,我不能嫁给他……对不起,我只是不爱他; 对,是我的问题The scene on TV has changed to show two women, one is holding her hair.Phoebe: If I let go of my hair, my head will fall off.如果我没了头发, 还不如去死;Chandler: re TV Ooh, she should not be wearing those pants.她不该穿那条裤子Joey: I say push her down the stairs.我建议推她下楼Phoebe, Ross, Chandler, and Joey:Push her down the stairs Push her down the stairs Push her down the stairs推她下楼推她下楼推她下楼She is pushed down the stairs and everyone cheers.Rachel: C'mon Daddy, listen to me It's like, it's like, all of my life, everyone has always told me, 'You're a shoe You're a shoe, you're a shoe, you're a shoe'. And today I just stopped and I said, 'What if I don't wanna be a shoe What if I wanna be a- a purse, y'know Or a- or a hat No, I'm not saying I want you to buy me a hat, I'm saying I am a ha- It's a metaphor, Daddy 爸,你听我说……大家这样评价我这一辈子：你是一只鞋……今天我倒想看看如果我不再是鞋会怎样; 我说如果我想当皮包呢或是帽子呢不,我不需你帮我买帽子; 我说我是一顶帽子; 爸,这是一种比喻;Ross: You can see where he'd have trouble.你看他有些问题Rachel:Look Daddy, it's my life. Well maybe I'll just stay here with Monica.爸,这是我的人生; 或许我会和莫妮卡住在这儿;Monica:Well, I guess we've established who's staying here with Monica...我想我们已经决定好谁将和莫妮卡住在这儿Rachel:Well, maybe that's my decision. Well, maybe I don't need your money. Wait Wait, I said maybe或许那是我的决定; 或许我不希罕你的钱; 等一下,等一下……我说的是或许Time Lapse, Rachel is breating into a paper bag.Monica: Just breathe, breathe.. that's it. Just try to think of nice calm things...深呼吸,就这样; 试着想着美好的事物……Phoebe:sings Raindrops on roses and rabbits and kittens, Rachel and Monica turn to look at her. bluebells and sleighbells and- something with mittens... La la la la...something and noodles with string.These are a few...玫瑰上的雨滴, 猫嘴上的胡须, 门铃和雪橇之类的; 啦啦啦……还有手套……Rachel: I'm all better now.我现在好多了Phoebe:grins and walks to the kitchen and says to Chandler and Joey. I helped我帮上忙了Monica: Okay, look, this is probably for the best, y'know Independence. Taking control of your life.The whole, 'hat' thing.或许这样最好,独立了,把握自己的生活,就像你说的帽子的事情Joey:comforting her And hey, you need anything, you can always come to Joey. Me and Chandler live across the hall. And he's away a lot.有任何需要找乔伊准没错; 我和钱德勒就住在对面, 而且他经常不在家;Monica: Joey, stop hitting on her It's her wedding day 乔伊,少趁虚而入了,今天是她大喜的日子Joey: What, like there's a rule or something什么有规定不能吗The door buzzer sounds and Chandler gets it.Chandler: Please don't do that again, it's a horrible sound.请不要在这样,声音很刺耳Paul: over the intercom It's, uh, it's Paul.我是保罗Monica: Oh God, is it 6:30Buzz him in天啊,6:30了吗让他进来Joey: Who's Paul谁是保罗Ross: Paul the Wine Guy, Paul调酒的保罗Monica: Maybe. Joey: Wait. Your 'not a real date' tonight is with Paul the Wine Guy或许吧; 等等,你今晚该不是真的要和调酒的那个保罗约会吧Ross: He finally asked you out他终于开口了;Monica: Yes是的Chandler: Ooh, this is a Dear Diary moment.终于被你等到了Monica: Rach, wait, I can cancel...瑞秋,等等,我可以取消Rachel: Please, no, go, that'd be fine不用了,你去吧,我不会有事的Monica:to Ross Are, are you okay I mean, do you want me to stay 真的没事吗你要我留下来吗Ross: choked voice That'd be good...那样最好Monica: horrified Really真的吗Ross: normal voice No, go on It's Paul the Wine Guy 假的,去吧,是保罗,调酒师啊Phoebe:What does that mean Does he sell it, drink it, or just complain a lot Chandler doesn't know.什么意思他是卖酒的, 喝酒的,还是评酒的There's a knock on the door and it's Paul.Monica: Hi, come in Paul, this is.. They are all lined up next to the door.... everybody, everybody, this is Paul.请进保罗,这位是…………各位,各位,他就是保罗;All: Hey Paul Hi The Wine Guy Hey保罗……调酒大师;Chandler: I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name. Paul, was it抱歉,我没听清楚你名字; 保罗,是吗Monica: Okay, umm-umm, I'll just--I'll be right back, I just gotta go ah, go ah...我马上就好,我去,去……Ross: A wandering神魂恍惚啦Monica: ChangeOkay, sit down. Shows Paul in Two seconds.换衣服请坐,两秒钟;Phoebe: Ooh, I just pulled out four eyelashes. That can't be good.我刚拔掉四根睫毛,不妙;Monica goes to change.Joey: Hey, Paul嗨,保罗Paul: Yeah有何指教Joey:Here's a little tip, she really likes it when you rub her neck in the same spot over and over and over again until it starts to get a little red.一个小秘密,莫妮卡其实就喜欢这样, 你摩擦她脖子的同一个地方, 反反复复,直到那里开始有点发红;Monica: yelling from the bedroom Shut up, Joey乔伊你给我闭嘴Ross: So Rachel, what're you, uh... what're you up to tonight 瑞秋,你打算如何渡过今晚Rachel: Well, I was kinda supposed to be headed for Aruba on my honeymoon, so nothing我应该在前往阿鲁巴渡蜜月的途中,因此没了Ross:Right, you're not even getting your honeymoon, God.. No, no, although, Aruba, this time of year... talk about your- thinks -big lizards... Anyway, if you don't feel like being alone tonight, Joey and Chandler are coming over to help me put together my new furniture.我懂,你没去渡蜜月; 虽然阿鲁巴在此时……有很多……大蜥蜴如果你今晚不想独处, 乔伊和钱德勒要到我那儿帮我组合新家俱,Chandler: deadpan Yes, and we're very excited about it.对,我们都相当兴奋;Rachel: Well actually thanks, but I think I'm just gonna hang out here tonight.It's been kinda a long day.谢谢,但我今晚想待在这儿, 我折磨了一天;Ross: Okay, sure.好吧,当然Joey: Hey Pheebs, you wanna help菲此,想帮忙吗Phoebe: Oh, I wish I could, but I don't want to.我可以去, 但我不去;Commercial BreakScene: The Subway, Phoebe is singing for change.Phoebe: singing Love is sweet as summer showers, love is a wondrous work of art, but your love oh your love, your love...is like a giant pigeon...crapping on my heart.La-la-la-la-la- some guy gives her some change and to that guy Thank you. sings La-la-la-la...ohhhScene: Ross's Apartment, the guys are there assemblingfurniture.爱情就像夏日冲凉一样甜美,爱情是无与伦比的艺术品,但是,你的爱呀,你的爱,你的爱…就像一只巨大的鸽子…在我心里排泄;啦-啦-啦-啦-啦-啦-啦,Ross: squatting and reading the instructions I'm supposed to attach a brackety thing to the side things, using a bunch of these little worm guys. I have no brackety thing, I see no whim guys whatsoever and- I cannot feel my legs.我应该用蜗杆将托架装在侧面, 但我没看见托架和蜗杆,而且, 我的脚好麻;Joey and Chandler are finishing assembling the bookcase. Joey: I'm thinking we've got a bookcase here.我想我们做好书架了;Chandler: It's a beautiful thing.真漂亮;Joey: picking up a leftover part What's this这是什么Chandler: I would have to say that is an 'L'-shaped bracket.我只能说这是个“L”型托架;Joey: Which goes where是哪的Chandler: I have no idea.我不知道Joey checks that Ross is not looking and dumps it in a plant. Joey: Done with the bookcase书架做好了Chandler: All finished终于做好了Ross:clutching a beer can and sniffing This was Carol's favorite beer. She always drank it out of the can, I should have known.这是卡罗最爱喝的啤酒; 她总是不用杯子喝,我早应该看出蛛丝马迹;Joey: Hey-hey-hey-hey, if you're gonna start with that stuff we're outta here.嗨…………如果你再这样,我们就走了;Chandler: Yes, please don't spoil all this fun.对啊,请不要破坏这里的乐趣;Joey: Ross, let me ask you a question. She got the furniture, the stereo, the good TV- what did you get罗斯,我问你一个问题; 她分得家俱,音响和好电视; 你分得什么Ross: You guys.你们Chandler: Oh, God.嗯,天哪Joey: You got screwed.你昏头了啊Chandler: Oh my God恩,天啊Scene: A Restaurant, Monica and Paul are eating.Monica: Oh my GodPaul: I know, I know, I'm such an idiot. I guess I should have caught on when she started going to the dentist four and five times a week. I mean, how clean can teeth get我知道我是个白痴;他每周看四五次牙医师我就应该了解,我指牙齿能有多干净Monica: My brother's going through that right now, he's such a mess. How did you get through it我哥正承受着这种痛苦, 一副失魂落魄的样子; 你是怎么熬过来的Paul:Well, you might try accidentally breaking somethingvaluable of hers, say her-你可以不小心砸烂她贵着的东西,如她的……Monica: -leg她的…………腿Paul: laughing That's one way Me, I- I went for the watch.这样也不赖我……我砸烂了她的表;Monica:You actually broke her watch Wow The worst thing I ever did was, I-I shredded by boyfriend's favorite bath towel.你真的砸烂过她的表哇我做过的最坏的事情是, 我撕碎了男朋友最喜欢的浴巾;Paul: Ooh, steer clear of you.嗯,机智脱身;Monica:That's right. Scene: Monica's Apartment, Rachel is talking on the phone and pacing.对啊;Rachel:Barry, I'm sorry... I am so sorry... I know you probably think that this is all about what I said the other day about you making love with your socks on, but it isn't... it isn't, it's about me, and I ju- She stops talking and dials the phone. Hi, machine cut me off again... anyway...look, look, I know that some girl is going to be incredibly lucky to become Mrs. Barry Finkel, but it isn't me, it's not me.And not that I have any idea who me is right now, but you just have to give me a chance too... The maching cuts her off again and she redials.巴瑞,真是对不起; 你一定认为此事与我那次说的话有关, 关于你做爱时, 穿着袜子, 其实不是, 问题出在我身上,我……答录机又把我挂断了; 不管怎样……瞧瞧,瞧瞧, 我知道某个女孩会不可思议的, 成为凡可巴瑞太太,但那不是我,不是我;而我现在连我自己是谁都不知道, 但你还应该给我一个机会向你……Scene: Ross's Apartment; Ross is pacing while Joey and Chandler are working on some more furniture.Ross: I'm divorcedI'm only 26 and I'm divorced我离婚啦我才26岁就离婚啦Joey: Shut up闭嘴Chandler:You must stop Chandler hits what he is working on with a hammer and it collapses.你还是停下来吧Ross: That only took me an hour.我才花了一小时Chandler:Look, Ross, you gotta understand, between us we haven't had a relationship that has lasted longer than a Mento. You, however have had the love of a woman for four years. Four years of closeness and sharing at the end of which she ripped your heart out, and that is why we don't do it I don't think that was my point看啊,罗斯,你应该理解, 我们认识不是太久, 但你和一个女人相爱已经四年了, 四年的封闭和分享, 最后她把你的心都麻醉了,这就是我们为什么不这样做这还不是最重要的Ross: You know what the scariest part is What if there's only one woman for everybody, y'know I mean what if you get one woman- and that's it Unfortunately in my case, there was only one woman- for her...你知道最可怕的是什么万一每个人一生只有一个女人怎么办我的意思是如果你只有一个女人时该怎么办不幸地我唯一的女人爱的是……她Joey:What are you talking about 'One woman' That's like saying there's only one flavor of ice cream for you. Lemme tell you something, Ross. There's lots of flavors out there. There's Rocky Road, and Cookie Dough, and Bing Cherry Vanilla. You could get 'em with Jimmies, or nuts, or whipped cream This is the bestthing that ever happened to you You got married, you were, like, what, eight Welcome back to the world Grab a spoon你在说什么一个女人; 那就像在说你只能吃一种口味的冰淇淋,罗斯,告诉你吧,冰淇淋的口种有千百种; 有各种点心糖果冰淇淋……你可以加上小糖条或是核果, 或是奶油,这是你一生中最美好的事; 你八岁时就结婚了吧欢迎来到世界抓住勺子Ross: I honestly don't know if I'm hungry or horny.我真的不知道自己是饥渴还是欲火焚身Chandler: Stay out of my freezer Scene: A Restaurant, Monica and Paul are still eating.那么就别碰我家的冰箱;Paul: Ever since she walked out on me, I, uh...自从她甩掉我之后我,Monica: What..... What, you wanna spell it out with noodles 什么………什么,你打算边嚼面条边讲Paul: No, it's, it's more of a fifth date kinda revelation.不,这就像是”第五次约会真情告白”Monica: Oh, so there is gonna be a fifth date有第五次约会Paul: Isn't there不需要吗Monica: Yeah... yeah, I think there is. -What were you gonna say需要,我想需要的; 你刚才想说什么Paul: Well, ever-ev-... ever since she left me, um, I haven't been able to, uh, perform. Monica takes a sip of her drink. ...Sexually.这个……呃……自从她离开后, 我就一直无法……没做过…………性方面的……Monica: spitting out her drink in shock Oh God, oh God, I am sorry... I am so sorry...天啊,天啊,对不起,对不起; Paul: It's okay...没关系……Monica:I know being spit on is probably not what you need right now. Um... how long你现在需要的应该不是让人吐口水吧;多久了Paul: Two years.两年了Monica: Wow I'm-I'm-I'm glad you smashed her watch哇真高兴你砸烂了她的表Paul: So you still think you, um... might want that fifth date你还想要第五次约会Monica: pause...Yeah. Yeah, I do.……当然想;Scene: Monica's Apartment, Rachel is watching Joanne Loves Chaci.Priest on TV: We are gathered here today to join Joanne Louise Cunningham and Charles, Chachi-Chachi-Chachi, Arcola in the bound of holy matrimony.我们今天来这里参加乔安妮路易丝坎宁安和查尔斯恰棋-恰棋-恰棋阿可勒的神圣婚礼;Rachel:Oh...see... but Joanne loved Chachi That's the difference喔……看……乔安妮爱的是恰棋;差别就在这儿Scene: Ross's Apartment, they're all sitting around andtalking.Ross:scornful Grab a spoon. Do you know how long it's been since I've grabbed a spoon Do the words 'Billy, don't be a hero' mean anything to you抓住勺子; 知道我等着“抓这把勺子”等了多久吗你对”此尔,别逞英雄”这句话有感觉吗Joey: Great story But, I uh, I gotta go, I got a date with Andrea--Angela--Andrea... Oh man, looks to Chandler非常对不起但我要走了, 我有个约会,和安德里亚……安吉拉……安德里亚……嗨,Chandler: Angela's the screamer, Andrea has cats.安吉拉喜欢尖叫,安德里亚养猫;Joey: Right. Thanks. It's June. I'm outta here. Exits.对;谢谢;六月份了;我走了;Ross:Y'know, here's the thing. Even if I could get it together enough to- to ask a woman out,... who am I gonna askHe gazes out of the window.是这样的; 就算我鼓起勇气约女人出去, 但我要约谁呀Cut to Rachel staring out of her window.Commercial BreakScene: Monica's Apartment, Rachel is making coffee for Joey and Chandler.Rachel: Isn't this amazingI mean, I have never made coffee before in my entire life.神奇吧我这辈子从没泡过咖啡;Chandler: That is amazing.真神奇Joey: Congratulations.恭喜了Rachel: Y'know, I figure if I can make coffee, there isn't anything I can't do.你看,我觉得只要我会泡咖啡, 就没有什么不行;Chandler: If can invade Poland, there isn't anything I can't do.如果能侵入波兰, 就能征服一切;Joey:Listen, while you're on a roll, if you feel like you gotta make like a Western omelet or something... Joey and Chandler taste the coffee, grimace, and pour it into a plant pot. Although actually I'm really not that hungry...如果你兴致大发想做蛋饼, 老实说我不太饿……Monica:entering, to herself Oh good, Lenny and Squigy are here.好啊,Lenny和Squigy来啦;All: Morning. Good morning.Paul: entering from Monica's room Morning.Joey: Morning, Paul.Rachel: Hello, Paul.Chandler: Hi, Paul, is itMonica and Paul walk to the door and talk in a low voice so the others can't hear. The others move Monica's table closer to the door so that they can.Paul: Thank youThank you so muchMonica: StopPaul: No, I'm telling you last night was like umm, all my birthdays, both graduations, plus the barn raising scene in Witness.不行,我要告诉你昨晚就像我所有的生日,毕业典礼, 和谷仓收获季节加在一起一样;Monica: We'll talk later.晚点打电话Paul: Yeah. They kiss Thank you. ExitsJoey:That wasn't a real date What the hell do you do on a realdate那还不叫约会那你真正的约会到底干些什么Monica: Shut up, and put my table back.闭嘴,把桌子抬回去; 好吧All: Okayyy They do so.Chandler:All right, kids, I gotta get to work. If I don't input those numbers,... it doesn't make much of a difference...孩子们,我要上班去了; 如果我不输入那些数字……也没什么关系……Rachel: So, like, you guys all have jobs你们大伙儿都有工作Monica: Yeah, we all have jobs. See, that's how we buy stuff.对,我们都有工作; 这样才有钱买东西;Joey: Yeah, I'm an actor.对,我是个演员;Rachel: Wow Would I have seen you in anything我见过你吗Joey: I doubt it. Mostly regional work.大概没见过吧; 我大部份都是在地区性的节目中演出;Monica:Oh wait, wait, unless you happened to catch the Reruns' production of Pinocchio, at the little theater in the park.等等,除非你看过小木偶的重播;Joey: Look, it was a job all right这也算是工作吧Chandler: 'Look, Gi ppetto, I'm a real live boy.'瞧,盖佩多,我是个活生生的小男孩;Joey: I will not take this abuse. Walks to the door and opens it to leave.我不会理睬这种羞辱;Chandler: You're right, I'm sorry. Burst into song and dances out of the door. "Once I was a wooden boy, a little wooden boy..."你说得对,抱歉;"我曾是个小木偶……小木偶……"Joey: You should both know, that he's a dead man. Oh, Chandler Starts after Chandler.告诉你们,他死定了; 嗨,钱德勒Monica:So how you doing today Did you sleep okay Talk to Barry I can't stop smiling.今天感觉如何睡得还好吧和巴瑞通过电话吗我无法停止笑;Rachel: I can see that. You look like you slept with a hanger in your mouth.我看得出来; 你这样子像是昨晚口中含着衣架睡觉;Monica:I know, he's just so, so... Do you remember you and Tony DeMarco我知道,他是那么……还记得你和东尼戴马克Rachel: Oh, yeah.Monica: Well, it's like that. With feelings.就像那样;那样感觉;Rachel: Oh wow. Are you in trouble.你惹上麻烦了;Monica: Big time没错Rachel: Want a wedding dress Hardly used.需要婚纱吗几乎没用过的;Monica: I think we are getting a little ahead of selves here. Okay. Okay. I am just going to get up, go to work and not think about him all day. Or else I'm just gonna get up and go to work.我想我们有点不知所以了; 我要清醒,去工作; 整天都不想他,或者只是清醒然后去工作;Rachel: Oh, look, wish me luck祝我幸运Monica: What for为什么Rachel: I'm gonna go get one of those Thinks job things.我要去找工作;Monica exits.Scene: Iridium, Monica is working as Frannie enters. Frannie: Hey, Monica嗨,莫妮卡Monica: Hey Frannie, welcome back How was Florida 法兰妮,欢迎回来佛罗里达如何Frannie: You had sex, didn't you你们上床了,对不Monica: How do you do that你怎么看出来的Frannie:Oh, I hate you, I'm pushing my Aunt Roz through Parrot Jungle and you're having sex So Who哦,我恨你,我推着我的洛兹阿姨经过帕罗丛林, 你却在做爱和谁呀Monica: You know Paul认识保罗吗Frannie: Paul the Wine GuyOh yeah, I know Paul.保罗,那个调酒的对,我认识保罗;Monica: You mean you know Paul like I know Paul你认识保罗像我认识他一样Frannie: Are you kiddingI take credit for Paul. Y'know before me, there was no snap in his turtle for two years.爱说笑, 他还得谢我呢; 遇到我之前他已有两年无法入道; Scene: Central Perk, everyone but Rachel is there.Joey: sitting on the arm of the couchOf course it was a line 显然他是骗你的Monica: Why Why Why, why would anybody do something like that 为什么为什么会有人那样做Ross: I assume we're looking for an answer more sophisticated than 'to get you into bed'.我想答案比”设法骗你上床”更复杂;Monica: I hate menI hate men我恨男人我恨男人Phoebe: Oh no, don't hate, you don't want to put that out into the universe.不,别恨,你也不想把他们丢出宇宙吧;Monica:Is it me Is it like I have some sort of beacon that only dogs and men with severe emotional problems can hear 难道我有特殊气味; 只有狗和感情有严着问题的男人才闻得到;Phoebe:All right, c'mere, gimme your feet. She starts massaging them.过来,脚给我;Monica: I just thought he was nice, y'know我以为他是个好男人;Joey:bursts out laughing again I can't believe you didn't know it was a lineMonica pushes him off of the sofa as Rachel enters with a shopping bag.我无法相信你不懂这是骗局;Rachel: Guess what猜猜看Ross: You got a job你找到工作了Rachel: Are you kiddingI'm trained for nothing I was laughed out of twelve interviews today.开玩笑我书都白念了今天的十二个面试全泡汤了;Chandler: And yet you're surprisingly upbeat.不过你却异常兴奋;Rachel: You would be too if you found John and David boots on sale, fifty percent off换成是你,你也会一样; 如果你遇见John and David的皮靴打五折;Chandler: Oh, how well you know me...你真是太了解我了Rachel: They're my new 'I don't need a job, I don't need my parents, I've got great boots' boots这是我的新皮靴, 我不需要工作,不需要父母, 因为我有新皮靴Monica: How'd you pay for them你怎么付钱Rachel: Uh, credit card.信用卡啊;Monica: And who pays for that卡费谁费Rachel: Um... my... father.我爸Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is sitting around the kitchen table. Rachel's credit cards are spread out on the table along with a pair of scissors.Rachel: Oh God, come on you guys, is this really necessary I mean, I can stop charging anytime I want.天啊,好啦,有必要吗我是说,我可以随时忍住挥霍的;Monica:C'mon, you can't live off your parents your whole life.成熟点,你不能靠你爸一辈子Rachel: I know that. That's why I was getting married.我知道,所以我选择结婚;Phoebe: Give her a break, it's hard being on your own for the first time.饶了她吧,第一次独立并不轻松;Rachel: Thank you.Phoebe: You're welcome. I remember when I first came to this city. I was fourteen. My mom had just killed herself and my step-dad was back in prison, and I got here, and I didn't know anybody. And I ended up living with this albino guy who was, like, cleaning windshields outside port authority, and then he killed himself, and then I found aromatherapy. So believe me, I know exactly how you feel.不客气;我记得我第一次来到纽约时的情况, 当时我十四岁,我妈刚自杀, 我继父再度入狱, 我在这儿人生地不熟; 最后我和患白化症的男人同居; 他为港务局的人清洗车窗; 后来他自杀了; 然后我找到芳香按摩治疗的工作; 所以请相信我你的心情我能体会PauseRoss: The word you're looking for is 'Anyway'...你需要的是, “无论如何”……Monica: All right, you ready好的,准备好了吗Rachel:No. No, no, I'm not ready How can I be ready "Hey, Rach You ready to jump out the airplane without your parachute" Come on, I can't do this不;不,不,我没准备好我怎么会准备好呢嗨,瑞秋你准备好不用降落伞跳出飞机吗不行,我不行Monica: You can, I know you can你能行的, 我知道你能行Rachel: I don't think so.我不觉得.Ross: Come on, you made coffeeYou can do anything Chandler slowly tries to hide the now dead plant from that morning when he and Joey poured their coffee into it.来吧,你会泡咖啡你就什么都可以Ross: C'mon, cut. Cut, cut, cut,...来,剪,剪,剪,剪……All: Cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut... She cuts one of them and they cheer.剪,剪,剪,剪……Rachel: Y'know what I think we can just leave it at that. It's kinda like a symbolic gesture...你们知道吗我认为我们可以把它们留在那里; 只做个象征性的姿势就可以了;Monica: Rachel That was a library card瑞秋那是借书卡。

Rachel: It's my father. He wants to give me a Mercedes convertible. Ross: That guy, he burns me up.Rachel: Yeah, well, it's a Mercedes if I move back home. Oh, it was horrible. He called me young lady.Chandler: Ooh, I hate when my father calls me that.Monica: Did he give you that whole "You're-not-up-to-this" thing again?Rachel: Oh, yeah, yeah. Actually, I got the extended disco version, with three choruses of "You'll never make it on your own". Phoebe: (rhythmically) Uh-huh, uh-huh.(Angela, a beautiful woman in a tight dress, enters.)Angela: Hi, Joey.Joey: My god, Angela.(Angela takes a seat at the counter.)Monica: Wow, being dumped by you obviously agrees with her. Phoebe: Are you gonna go over there?Joey: No, yeah, no, ok, but not yet. I don't wanna seem too eager. One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi. That seems pretty cool. (he walks over to her) Hey, Angela.Angela: (casually) Joey.Joey: You look good.Angela: That's because I'm wearing a dress that accents my boobs. Joey: You don't say.(Cut to Ross and Rachel, talking next to one of the tables.) Ross: So, uh, Rachel, what are you, uh, what're you doing tonight? Rachel: Oh, big glamour night. Me and Monica at Laundorama. Ross: Oh, you uh, you wanna hear a freaky coincidence? Guess who's doing laundry there too?Rachel: Who?Ross: Me. Was that not clear? Hey, why don't, um, why don't I just join you both, here?Rachel: Don't you have a laundry room in your building?Ross: Yes, I do have a laundry room in my building, um, but there's a.... rat problem. Apparently they're attracted to the dryer sheets, and they're goin' in fine, but they're comin' out all.... fluffy. Anyway, say, sevenish?Rachel: Sure.(Cut back to Joey and Angela at the counter.)Angela: Forget it Joey. I'm with Bob now.Joey: Bob? Who the hell's Bob?Angela: Bob is great. He's smart, he's sophisticated, and he has a real job. You, you go on three auditions a month and you call yourself an actor, but Bob...Joey:Come on, we were great together. And not just at the fun stuff, but like, talking too.Angela: Yeah, well, sorry, Joe. You said let's just be friends, so guess what?Joey: What? 还是他的绝食抗议还有人需要什么吗?我，上星期你做了有核果，巧克力之类的派没事，我还好怎么啦,怪怪的是我爸他要买奔驰敞篷车给我那家伙真叫我生气如果想要奔驰, 我就得搬回家.太可恶了他称我为”年轻的女士”我最受不了我爸这样叫我他是不是又说你年纪太轻之类的话对,这次是迪斯科加长版,带着三重唱说”你永远不能自立”嘿,乔伊天呀,安琪拉.被你甩掉对她大有好处你想过去吗?不想...想...不想待会再说,我不想显得太急于见她了. 一个密西西比,两个密西西比,三个密西西比,这样显得比较酷安琪拉乔伊你的样子真好.因为我的衣服突显出我的胸部看得出来瑞秋，你今晚有何节目?精彩丰富我要和摩妮卡去洗衣店想知道有个巧合吗?猜猜谁也要去洗衣店?谁？我难道还不够清楚?何不让我加入你们?你的公寓没有洗衣间吗?有，我的公寓有洗衣间不过, 那儿有老鼠.它们显然对烘干机里的香香纸感兴趣进入时还好出来是却毛绒绒的7点左右见?Angela: We're just friends.Joey: Fine, fine, so, why don't the four of us go out and have dinner together tonight? You know, as friends?Angela: What four of us?Joey:You know, you and Bob, and me and my girlfriend, uh, uh, Monica. [Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment, Joey is there, trying to convince Monica to pose as his girlfriend. His plan is to hook Monica up with Angela's boyfriend Bob and then take Angela back for himself.] Joey: Monica, I'm tellin' you, this guy is perfect for you. Monica:Forget it. Not after your cousin who could belch the alphabet. Joey: Come on. This guy's great. His name's Bob. He's Angela's... brother. He's smart, he's sophisticated, and he has a real job. Me, I go on three auditions a month and call myself an actor, but Bob is... Monica: (looking out window) Oh, god help us.Joey: What?Monica: Ugly Naked Guy's laying kitchen tile. Eww!Joey:Eww! Look, I'm asking a favor here. If I do this for her brother, maybe Angela will come back to me.Monica: What's going on here? You go out with tons of girls. Joey:(proud) I know, but, I made a huge mistake. I never should have broken up with her. Will you help me? Please?[Scene: Ross' apartment, Chandler is over.]Ross: (on phone) Ok, bye. (hangs up) Well, Monica's not coming, it's just gonna be me and Rachel.Chan dler:Oh. Well, hold on camper, are you sure you've thought this thing through?Ross: It's laundry. The thinking through is minimal.Chandler: It's just you and Rachel, just the two of you? This is a date. You're going on a date.Ross: Nuh-uh.Chandler: Yuh-huh.Ross: So what're you saying here? I should shave again, pick up some wine, what?Chandler: Well, you may wanna rethink the dirty underwear. This is basically the first time she's gonna see your underwear—you want it to be dirty?Ross: (sheepish) No.Chandler: Oh, and uh, the fabric softener?Ross: Ok, ok, now what is wrong with my Snuggles? What, it says I'm a sensitive, warm kinda guy, you know, like a warm, fuzzy bear. Ok, I can pick something else up on the way.Chandler: There you go.[Scene: A fancy restaurant, Joey and Monica are there, meeting Angela and Bob, who Monica thinks is Angela's brother.]Monica: Thank you. So what does this Bob guy look like? Is he tall? Short?Joey: Yep.Monica: Which? 好吧免了，乔依我现在和鲍伯交往鲍伯?谁是鲍伯?鲍伯简直是棒透了聪明，成熟，又有真正的工作你每个月面识三次就称自己是演员但是鲍伯我们在一起时很开心不只是寻欢作乐我们也聊得来没错，不过抱歉你曾说我们当朋友就好,那么什么?我们只是朋友行，我们四个何不一起出去吃晚饭? 就像朋友一样哪四个?你和鲍伯我和我的女友…摩妮卡摩妮卡，他绝对适合你算了吧从你那会啧出字母块的表兄后我再也不敢领教了没骗你，他真的很棒他叫鲍伯，安琪拉的哥哥鲍伯简直是棒透了聪明，成熟，又有真正的工作我呢?我每个月面试三次就称自己是演员, 但是鲍勃...我的天哪什么?丑陋的裸男在铺厨房磁砖我在求你帮忙如果我能为她哥哥做点事或许她会回到我身旁你是怎么了?你和千百个女人约会我知道我犯了天大的错误我不该和她分手愿意帮我吗?求求你好，再见摩妮卡不能去了现在只剩我和瑞秋等等，老兄你确定自己仔细想过Phoebe: Ok, you weren't there.[Scene: The Launderama, Rachel is there, waiting for Ross. An old woman takes Rachel's clothes off the machine and begins loading it with her things.]Woman: Comin' through. Move, move.Rachel: Oh, 'scuse me. I was kinda using that machine.Woman: Yeah, well, now you're kinda not.Rachel: But I saved it. I put my basket on top.Woman:Oh, I'm sorry, is that your basket? It's really pretty. Unfortunately, I don't see suds.Rachel: What?Woman: No suds, no save. Ok?(Ross arrives.)Ross: What's goin' on?Rachel: Hi, uh, nothing. That horrible woman just took my machine. Ross: Was your basket on top?Rachel: Yeah, but, there were no suds.Ross: So?Rachel: Well, you know, no suds, no save.Ross: No suds? Excuse me, hold on a second. (to woman) That's my friend's machine.Woman: Hey, hey, hey, her stuff wasn't in it.Ross: Hey, hey, hey, that's not the rule and you know it.(The woman and Ross stare at each other. Finally she takes her stuff out of the machine and leaves.)Ross:(to the crowd in the laundromat) All right, show's over. Nothing to see here. (to Rachel) Ok, let's do laundry.Rachel: That was amazing. I can't even send back soup.Ross: Well, that's because you're such a sweet, gentle, uh...Do you, uh, do you...Oh, hey, uh you must need detergent.(Ross pulls out a huge box of laundry detergent.)Rachel: What's that?Ross:Uberveiss. It's new, it's German, it's extra-tough. (Rachel starts to load her clothes.)Ross: Rach, do you uh, are you gonna separate those?Rachel: Oh god. Oh, am I being like a total laundry spaz? I mean, am I supposed to use like one machine for shirts and another machine for pants?Ross: Rach, have you never done this before?Rachel: Well, not myself, but I know other people that have. Ok, you caught me. I'm a laundry virgin.Ross:Uh, well, don't worry, I'll use the gentle cycle. Ok, um, b asically you wanna use one machine for all your whites, a whole nother machine for colors, and a third for your uh, your uh, delicates, and that would be your bras and your under-panty things.Rachel:(holds a pair of panties in front of Ross) Ok, Well, what about these are white cotton panties. Would they go with whites or delicates? Ross:(visibly nervous) Uh, that, that, that would be a judgment call. 然后就为你买了…让我找找…让我找找我为你…什么?你帮我买什么?我帮你买…这个布文哥袜真可爱我知道你已有洛基所以我想你可以穿一双布文哥或穿一双洛基或混着穿，随你高兴我再去叫一杯浓缩咖啡想再来一杯拿铁吗?不用了，我的还没喝完就这样?对，真的很难哦,是么, 那个拥抱看起来还真绝情呢你又不是当事人!借过，让开…抱歉，我似乎用这台洗衣机是吗?不过现在"似乎"不是了但是我占位置了,我放了篮子在上面.抱歉，这是你的篮子吗?对真漂亮，但是我没看到肥皂水.什么?没肥皂水就不算保留，行吗?怎么了?没什么这位凶婆娘抢了我的洗衣机你有把篮子放上面吗?有，但是没有肥皂水?然后呢?没肥皂水就不算保留没肥皂水就不算保留抱歉，等等这是我朋友用的机器她的东西没在里面你明知规矩不是这样的表演结束没什么好看的洗衣服吧这简直是太神奇了我连汤都不敢退因为你是个即温柔, 又可爱的你得用洗衣粉[Scene: Fancy restaurant, Monica, Joey, Angela, and Bob are seated at the table.]Monica: (to Joey) He is so cute. (to Angela and Bob) So, where did you guys grow up?Angela: Brooklyn Heights.Bob: Cleveland.Monica: How, how did that happen?Joey: Oh my god.Monica: What?Joey: I suddenly had the feeling that I was falling. But I'm not. Commercial Break[Scene: Fancy restaurant, Joey and Bob are talking.]Joey: So, you and Angela, huh?Bob: Yep. Pretty much.Joey: You're a lucky man. You know what I miss the most about her? That cute nibbly noise when she eats. Like a happy little squirrel, or a weasel.Bob: Huh, I never really noticed.Joey: Oh, yeah, yeah, listen for it.Bob: Monica, Monica is great.Joey: Yeah, but it's not gonna last. She's too much for me in bed. Sexually.[Scene: The ladies' bathroom at the restaurant, Monica and Angela are talking.]Monica: I've gotta tell you, Bob is terrific.Angela: Yeah, isn't he?Monica: It is so great to meet a guy who is smar t and funny, and has an emotional age beyond, like eight.Angela: You know what else? He's unbelievable in bed.Monica:Wow. My brother never even told me when he lost his virginity. Angela: Huh. That's nice.[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is coaching Chandler on how to break up with Janice.]Phoebe: Ok, you can do this. It's just like pulling off a Band-aid. Just do it really fast, and then the wound is exposed.(Chandler walks back to couch, where Janice is.)Chandler:Janice. Hi, Janice. Ok, here we go. I don't think we should go out anymore. Janice.Janice: All right. Well, there you go. (she gets extremely wound up, and begin s to try and calm herself down) Stop it, stop it, stop it. [Scene: The laundromat.]Rachel:Ok, I know this is gonna sound really stupid, but I feel that if I can do this, you know, if I can actually do my own laundry, there isn't anything I can't do.Ross:That does not sound stupid to me. You know, it's like the first time I had to make dinner for myself, after Carol left me? (the buzzer on the washer goes off) I'm sorry, that's all the time we have. Next on Ross...(opens up the washer) Uh-oh. 那是什么?乌伯怀斯，来自德国的新产品洗净力超强瑞秋，你准备分开洗吗?我像个洗衣大白痴我得用一台洗衬衣用另一台洗裤子吗?你没洗过衣服?没有，但我认识这样洗过的人好吧，被你发现了我"第一次"衣服别担心，我会用"轻柔"循环你得用一台洗你全部的白衣白衣另一台洗其他颜色的衣服其他颜色的衣服第三台洗贴身…胸罩和内裤之类的这些棉质的白色内裤呢?与白衣还是贴身衣物一起洗? 随便你罗他好可爱你们在哪儿长大?布鲁克林克里佛兰怎么会这样?哎哟.我突然有种...坠落的感觉但是没有.你和安琪拉在一起?差不多你真幸运知道我最想念她什么?她轻啃东西的声音好像是快乐的小松鼠或是鼬我倒是没注意过以后注意听摩妮卡，摩妮卡很好没错，不过不会维持很久. 我心有余而力不足…在床上我得告诉你鲍伯简直是太棒了Rachel: What uh-oh?Ross:(not wanting to tell her) Uh-oh, uh-oh, the laundry's done. It's, uh, it's a song. The laundry song that we sing. (singing) Uh-oh the laundry's done, uh-oh, uh-oh.Rachel: Ross, what's the matter?Ross: Nothing, nothing. Lee-lo, the laundry's done.Rachel: Come on, show me.Ross:All right, all right, it's just that you left a red sock in with all your whites, and now, everything's kinda pink.Rachel: Oh, everything's pink.Ross:Yeah, uh, except for the red sock, which is still red. I'm sorry, please don't be upset, it could happen to anyone.Rachel: Except it didn't. It happened to me. Oh, god, I'm gonna look like a big marshmallow peep. What am I doing? What am I doing? My father's right. I can't live on my own! I can't even do laundry! (The woman who had tried to steal the washing machine walks by, and laughs.)[Scene: The fancy restaurant, Angela has her hand in Bob's shirt, and Monica is very uncomfortable.]Monica:Something went wrong with Underdog, and they couldn't get his head to inflate. So anyway, um, his head is like flopping down Broadway, right, and I'm just thinking... how inappropriate this is. Um, I've got something in my eye, uh, Joey, could we check it in the light, please?(Her and Joey walk away from the table.)Monica: Oh my god.Joey: What?Monica: Hello! Were we at the same table? It's like... cocktails in Appalachia.Joey: Come on, they're close.Monica: Close? She's got her tongue in his ear.Joey: Oh, like you've never gotten a little rambunctious with Ross. Monica: Joey, this is sick, it's disgusting, it's, it's—not really true, is it?Joey: Well, who's to say what's true? I mean...Monica: Oh my god, what were you thinking?Joey: All right, look, I'm not proud of this, ok? Well, maybe I am a little.Monica: (hits him lightly) Oh!Joey: Ow!Monica: (leaving) I'm outta here.Joey: Wait, wait, wait. You want him, I want her. He likes you. Monica: Really?Joey: Yeah. I'm thinking, if we put our heads together, between the two of us, we can break them up.[Time lapse, Monica accidentally spilled her drink on Bob's shirt and is wiping it off. Joey is making eyes at Angela.]Monica:I'm so sorry, I can't believe I did this, but I couldn't stop 可不是吗能遇上聪明幽默心智年龄超过八岁的人真棒知道吗?他的床上更是一流我哥从未告诉我他何时失去童贞真好你能办到的这就像是拔绷带一样快速拔起露出伤口快走珍妮丝…管他的我想我们不该再交往下去了珍妮丝我知道了…停下来,停下来....我知道这听起来很可笑我想我可以洗衣服的话我就没有办不到的事我一点都不觉得可笑太好了就像卡罗尔离开后我第一次动手做晚饭抱歉，时间到下集再来谈罗斯怎么了?衣服洗好了这是一首歌我们唱的一首洗衣歌衣服洗好了罗斯，到底怎么了?没事, 衣服洗好了…罗斯，快给我看…好吧，你把一只红袜放到白色衣物里面了所以白衣全变成粉红色全变成粉红色?对，但红袜还是红袜抱歉，千万别伤心任何人都可能发生这种事不，它只发生在我身上我穿这些看来会像一只粉红猪我爸说得对，我无法独立生活我连洗衣服都不会狗气球出了意外laughing at your Norman Mailer story.(Angela is eating chicken wings and making the weasel-like noise Joey had told Bob about.)Joey: Uh, waiter, one more plate of chicken wings over here. [Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is still trying to ease things over with Janice, and there are about a dozen empty Espresso cups in front of him. He is extremely wired.]Chandler:Here's the thing, Janice. You know, I mean, it's like we're diffe rent. I'm like the bing, bing, bing. You're like the boom, boom, (Chandler flails his hand out and hits Janice in the eye)... boom. Janice: Ow!Chandler: Oh, my god, I'm so sorry. Are you ok?Janice: Ow. Um, it's just my lens. It's just my lens. I'll be right back.(She leaves.)Chandler:(to Phoebe) I hit her in the eye! I hit her in the eye! This is the worst break-up in the history of the world.Phoebe:Oh my god. (Chandler downs another espresso.) How many of those have you had?Chandler: Oh, I don't know, a million?Phoebe: Chandler, easy, easy. Go to your happy place. La la la la la la la.Chandler: I'm fine.Phoebe: All r ight.(Janice returns from the bathroom.)Chandler: I'm not fine. Here she comes.Phoebe: Wait here. Breathe.(Phoebe goes over to speak to Janice. She talks to her for a few seconds, and then Janice immediately smiles, hugs her, waves to Chandler, and leaves.)Chandler: How do you do that?Phoebe: It's like a gift.Chandler: We should always always break up together.Phoebe: Oh, I'd like that.[Scene: The Launderama. Rachel is sorting her now-pink clothes.] Ross: You got the clothes clean. Now that's the important part. Rachel: Oh, I guess. Except everything looks like jammies now. (The same woman walks over and takes Rachel's laundry cart.) Rachel: Whoa, I'm sorry. Excuse me. We had this cart.Woman: Yeah, well, I had a 24-inch waist. You lose things. Now come on, get outta my way.(Rachel looks at Ross, who motions to her to get the cart back.) Rachel: I'm sorry, you know, maybe I wasn't being clear. Uh, this is our cart.Woman: Hey, hey, hey there aren't any clothes in it.Rachel: Hey, hey, hey, hey, quit making up rules!Woman: Let go!(They struggle for the cart. Finally, Rache l climbs inside of it.) 他的头无法膨胀于是他的头就落在百老汇我心想这实在太不像话了有东西跑进我眼睛乔依，能到灯下帮我看看吗? 我的天呀!怎么啦?我们是坐在同一桌吗?这太离谱了拜托，他们姐弟感情很好感情很好?她舌头都伸进了他的耳朵你和罗斯就不会有小动作?乔伊，这是病态, 太恶心了这不是真的，对不?谁说是真的?你到底在想什么?好吧，我也不喜欢这样或许有一点我要走了等等，你喜欢他我要她，他喜欢你真的?没错.我想只要我们一起想办法就能让他们分开真是抱歉没想到我会这样你的故事让我笑得嘴巴合不拢服务生，再来一盘鸡翅珍妮丝我们是不同类型的人我的声音就好像丁丁丁你的声音就好像梆梆梆糟了，抱歉你没事吧没事，只是我的隐形眼镜等会儿就没事了，我马上回来我打中她的眼睛这是有史以来世上最糟糕的分手我的天你到底喝了几杯?我也不知道百万杯?钱德，放轻松快回到你的快乐天堂我没事的…不妙，她回来了Rachel:All right, listen, missy. If you want this cart, you're gonna have to take me with it!(She thinks it over, and then walks away.)Rachel: (to Ross) Yes! Did you see that?Ross: You were incredible! Brand new woman, ladies and gentlemen. Rachel: I could not have done this without you.(Rachel stands up and kisses Ross. He is stunned. A moment of silence follows.)Ross: Ok, um, uh, more clothes in the dryer? (Ross turns and bangs his head on an open dryer door.) I'm fine, I'm fine.Rachel: Are you sure?Ross: No.Closing Credits[Scene: Central Perk, Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe are there. Ross has an icepack to his head.]Rachel: Oh, are you sure you're ok?Ross: Yeah.Rachel: Does it still hurt?Ross: Yeah.Phoebe:(seeing Rachel's clothes) What a neat idea. All your clothes match. I'm gonna do this.(Monica and Joey enter.)Monica: Hi.Phoebe: Hey, how'd it go?Joey: Excellent.Monica:We ripped that couple apart, and kept the pieces for ourselves. Ross: What a beautiful story. Hey, I'm fine by the way.Monica: (notices his head) Oh, I'm sorry.Rachel: Where's Chandler?Phoebe: Oh, he needed some time to grieve.(Chandler runs by the window outside, joyous.)Chandler: I'm free! I'm free!Phoebe: That oughta do it.End 在这儿等着，深呼吸你是怎么办到的?我有天赋.我们每次都应该一起"分手" 我乐意之至你已把衣服洗净现在是重要部份大概吧只是衣服都成了睡衣抱歉，推车是我们的是吗?我的腰围也曾是一尺八但是时过境迁请让道.抱歉，或许我没说清楚这是我们的推车这上面没有衣服你又再乱编规矩了放手车是我的，我先看到的好吧，想用这辆车你就得推着我一起走我赢了，看见没?你真是太神奇了各位，一位脱胎换骨的新女性多亏了你我才能办到烘干机里还有衣服?我没事...没事你确定没事?嗯还疼么?真是聪明，衣服颜色都一样我也要这么做嘿,怎么样啦?我们把那一对佳人掰成两半一人一半真是美丽动人的故事我已经没事了.钱德在哪儿?他需要一点时间疗伤我自由了…他应该复原了。

【108】The One Where Nana Dies Twiceantique‟sNO.8 The One Where Nana Dies Twice本集主要故事情节如下：Ross和Monica的祖母病危，他们前往见最后一面，没想到祖母居然死后又活过来一次，但最终还是逝世了；在葬礼上，Ross掉进了坑道受伤，而Joey却在随后的招待宴会上用便携电视看球赛。

Chandler被同事和好友们误会成同性恋，却怎么也找不出原因来。

Monica的母亲对她百般挑剔，Monica却只能默默忍受。

六人翻看R&M兄妹小时候照片，总是把Ross看成了女娃娃，他觉得很不爽。

1．Chandler: Dehydrated Japanese noodles under fluorescent lights... does it get better than this?Chandler其实是个很勤奋的公司职员，平时也有些不得志，这次也不免发了些牢骚，对同事说他在荧光灯下吃日本脱水日本面条！脱水面条一般都是军事食品，想必味道不怎么样，所以才郁郁寡欢，抱怨没有什么会比这更难受的了。

说道老友们的吃喝，这里也做个小节：Decaf（无咖啡因的咖啡）、Tiki－Death punch（一种自制的鸡尾酒，将含酒精的饮料同果汁或者糖混合在一起）、espresso（浓咖啡）、rum（朗姆酒）、cocktail（鸡尾酒）、Rocky road（rocky road 是一种冰淇淋，里面有坚果，巧克力和蜜饯, 由于这些东西让冰淇淋不平滑，所以叫rocky road）、cookie dough（曲奇圈、有碎曲奇的冰淇淋）、western omelet（煎蛋卷）、lasagne （意大利宽条面）、spaghetti（意大利细面条）、lamb chop（小羊排）、tart（果馅饼）、chocolate blobby（巧克力酱）、fat－free crust pizza（脱脂脆皮薄饼）、vegetarian pate（素菜面团）、Dehydrated Japanese noodles（日式脱水面条）、cracker（饼干）、Pretzel(椒盐卷饼)、Cappuccino 是用蒸汽煮沸，通常加入热牛奶的意大利式咖啡。

123 The One With the Birth[Scene: The hospital, Ross, Rachel, Chandler, Joey, and Monica are in the waiting room, waiting for Carol and Susan to arrive.] Ross: She's not here yet. She's not here. She's having my baby and she's not here.Monica: I'm sure everything's fine. Has her water broke yet? Ross:I don't know, but when I spoke to h er, she said she had already passed the mucus plug.(Joey makes a sound of absolute disgust.)Joey: Do we have to know about that?Monica: Joey, what are you gonna do when you have a baby?Joey: I'm gonna be in the waitin' room, handing out cigars. Chandler: Yes, Joey's made arrangements to have his baby in a movie from the 50's.Ross:God, I don't believe this. She could be giving birth in the cab. Rachel:Oh, Ross, relax. It's probably like two dollars for the first contraction, and then fifty cents for each additional contraction. (Everyone looks at Rachel as though she made a tasteless comment.) Rachel: What, it's ok when Chandler does it?Chandler: You have to pick your moments.(Phoebe arrives, guitar in hand.)Phoebe: Did I miss it, did I miss it?Ross: She's not even here yet.Monica: What's with the guitar?Phoebe: I just thought we might be here for awhile. You know, things might get musical.(Carol and Susan arrive.)Ross: (to Carol) Where the hell have you been?Susan: We stopped at the gift shop.Carol: I was looking at stuffed animals, and Susan wanted a Chunky. Ross:Susan wanted a Chunky. We're having a baby, ok, a baby, you don't stop for Chunky s.Chandler: I used to have that bumper sticker.(Everyone is amused by Chandler's comment.)Chandler: (to Rachel) You see what I mean.Opening Credits[Scene: Carol's Hospital Room, Carol is on the bed, Ross and Susan are at her side.]Ross: Stopped for a Chunky.Carol: Let it go, Ross.Susan: I got an extra one. You want this? (holds the candy in front of Ross' face)Ross: (weakly) No.(Carol's doctor, Dr. Franzblau arrives.)Dr. Franzblau: Hey, how's my favorite parenting team doing? Ross: Dr. Franzblau, hi. 123 本出世强森大夫，七线电话她还没来她将生下我的小孩却还没来不会有事的她的羊水破了吗?我不知道她和我通话时说她已分泌粘液我们需要知道这一些吗?乔伊，你有小孩时你会怎么做?我会在等待室中送雪茄乔伊准备让他孩子出生在50年代的电影中我不敢相信她可能会在计程车中生产罗斯，冷静点第一次收缩收费二块钱之后每收缩一次收五毛钱什么?钱德这样说时就没事你得选对时间我错过了吗?没有，她根本还没出现干嘛带吉他来?我想我们会在这儿待一阵子来点音乐你到底上哪儿去了?我们中途在礼品店待了一会儿买什么?我想买填充玩具苏珊想买”矮胖”苏珊要矮胖?她就快生小宝宝了是小宝宝不能中途下车买矮胖我过去也用那个汽车贴纸懂我意思吗?下车买矮胖别介意了，罗斯我多了一个，想要吗?不想我最喜爱的父母团队好法大头我了解你们在考虑生宝宝的事我知道你已怀胎九月这是好的开始收缩的情况如何?我喜欢每一阵都像是子宫中的小舞会我喜欢每一阵都像是子宫中的小舞会制片：陶德史帝芬59秒，石英表瑞士石英表我能喝饮料吗?碎冰，只能喝碎冰护士站有我去拿Dr. Franzblau:So, I understand you're thinking of having a baby? Well, I see you're nine months pregnant. That's a good start. How you doing with your contractions?Carol: Oh, I love them. Each one's like a little party in my uterus. Susan: They're every four minutes and last 55 seconds.Ross: 59 seconds. (holds up his watch) Quartz, ha.Susan: Swiss quartz, ha, ha.Carol: Am I allowed to drink anything?Dr. Franzblau: Ice chips, just ice chips. They're at the nurses' station.Ross: I'll get it.Susan: No, I'm getting it. I'll be right back.Ross: I got it—I'm getting it!(They both leave just as Rachel en ters the room, holding a cup.) Rachel: Hi, I thought you might like some ice chips.Carol: Th anks.Rachel: And if you need anything else, I—(notices the handsome Dr. Franzblau)—do not believe we've met. Hi. I'm, uh, Rachel Green. I'm Carol's... ex-husband's... sister's roommate.Dr. Franzblau: It is nice to meet you. I'm Dr. Franzblau. I'm your roommate's... brother's... ex-wife's obstetrician.Rachel: Oh, that's funny![Scene: The Waiting Room, Chandler is falling asleep on Monica's shoulder.]Monica: I want a baby.Chandler: Mmmm. Not tonight, honey. I got an early day tomorrow. Monica: Get up. Come on. Let's get some coffee.Chandler: Oh, ok, 'cause we never do that.(Chandler and Monica leave. Cut to Joey, watching the Knicks/Celtics game on television.)Joey: (to the screen) Shoot! Shoot! Shoot! Shoot, or just fall down. That's good too.(A young pregnant woman enters.)Lydia: Knick fan?Joey: Oh, yeah.Lydia: Oh, boy, do they suck.Joey: Hey, listen, lady....(sees that she's pregnant)...whoa. Lydia: Look, look at your man, Ewing. Nice shot. You know what, he couldn't hit water if he was standing on a boat.Joey: Oh yeah? And who do you like?Lydia: The Celtics.Joey:The Celtics? Ha. They couldn't hit a boat if...wait. They suck, alright?Lydia: Oh, shut up. You know, it's a rebuilding year. You... waah! Joey:Wha? Wha..aa? Let me get the father. Hey, we need a father over here! We need a father!Lydia: There is no father.Joey: Oh, oh, oh, sorry. 不，我去，马上回来不，我去…我想你或许想喝碎冰谢谢如果还需要别的…我没见过吧? 我叫瑞秋格林卡萝前任丈夫妹抹的室友幸会，我是法大夫你室友哥哥前妻的医生真有趣我要个宝宝今晚不行，亲爱的我明天得早起起来，我们去买咖啡好吧，因为我们没做过投…或是不进也行尼克迷?他们烂透了女士看，你的尤恩，漂亮他连坐在船上都投不进水里是吗?你支持谁?是吗?你支持谁?他们无法投进船…反正他们很烂闭嘴，今年是重建年•，我帮你孩子的爹我们这儿需要爸爸…他没有爸爸抱歉没关系，我没事这边洼所有的孕妇似乎都往这儿走他们又小又肉摸起来感觉很好不久他们长大后就会开始恨你现在他们对你大吼大叫你不知原因为何你不知原因为何谢谢，罗斯用来叫你停止的好吧看，是双胞胎，好可爱不公平，我一个都没有他们怎会有两个?你也会有的是吗?什么时候?好吧，告诉你我们40岁时如果都还单身我们就一起生一个，如何?为何我40岁时还单身?不，这只是假设假设为何我到40岁时还单身?Lydia: Ok, that's ok. I'm fine. I'm... oh!Joey: Oh, uh, ok. Right this way. All the other pregnant women seem to be goin' in here.Lydia: Ok.(Joey accompanies Lydia to a hospital room.)[Scene: The Waiting Room, Phoebe is playing a song. Chandler, Monica, and Ross are there as well.]Phoebe: (singing)They're tiny and chubby and so sweet to touch,and soon they'll grow up and resent you so much.Now they're yelling at you and you don't know why,you cry and you cry and you cry.And you cry and you cry and you cry...(Ross gives Phoebe a dollar.)Phoebe: Thanks, Ross.Ross: Yeah. I'm paying you to stop.Phoebe: Ok.(A woman passes by, carrying newborn twins.)Phoebe: Oh, look, twins. Hi, guys. Oh, cute, cute.Monica: No fair. I don't even have one. How come they get two? Chandler: You'll get one.Monica: Oh yeah? When?Chandler: All right. I'll tell you what. When we're 40, if neither one of us are married, what do you say you and I get together and have one?Monica: Why won't I be married when I'm 40?Chandler: Oh, no, no. I just meant hypothetically.Monica: Ok, hypothetically, why won't I be married when I'm 40? Chandler: No, no, no.Monica:What is it? Is there something fundamentally unmarriable about me?Chandler: (trapped) Uh, uh.Monica: Well?Chandler:Dear God! This parachute is a knapsack! (throws himself over the back of the chair he was sitting in)(Rachel enters, in a formal dress.)Rachel: Hey.Phoebe: Hey. Ooh, look at you, dressy-dress.Monica: Did you go home and change?Rachel:Yeah, well, it's an important day. I wanna look nice. Um, has uh Dr. F ranzblau been by?Monica: No, I haven't seen him.Rachel: Well, where is he? He is supposed to be here. (Pause) What if the baby needs him?Chandler:Rachel, what is the deal with you and doctors, anyway? Was, like, your father a doctor?Rachel: Yeah, why?Chandler:No reason. (turns around, makes an 'Oh my God' gesture with 假设为何我到40岁时还单身?我有不适婚姻的毛病吗?这降落伞是个背包看你，盛装登场你回家换衣服?今天是个重要的日子我想漂亮一点法大夫…不，我们还没见到他他在哪儿?他应该在这儿的万一小孩需要他怎么办?瑞秋，你和医生到底是怎么了难道你爸也是个医生?对，干嘛问?没理由没理由不，我不找他我不管这是不是他的孩子他是个大浑蛋不，我不是一个人乔伊在这儿什么意思?乔伊什么?什么意思?乔伊什么?对，等等，她要跟你谈对，等等，她要跟你谈对，是我不，我们只是朋友对，我单身25岁，演员她不擅于讲电话孩子的爸怎么了?如果有人即将生下我的孩子我会想知道的尼克迷你对爸爸的观点我不在乎或许吧祝你好运保重了你知道塞尔提克有什么问题?他们让球员经营球队这不是真的他们让球员经营球队这不是真的他们让球员经营球队这不是真的你们会窖死我的剩15秒14，13，12数4央点你会没事，记得这样做全是为了裘帝将全力集中在裘帝裘帝到底是谁?你儿子不，我不要我儿子叫裘帝我们协议过，我儿子叫洁米洁米是苏珊第一任女友的名字所以我们决定还是用裘帝这是什么意思?his eyes)[Scene: Joey and Lydia in the hospital room. Lydia is on the phone with her mother.]Lydia:Mom, we've been through this. No, I'm not calling him. I don't care if it is his kid, the guy's a jerk. No, I'm not alone. Joey's here. (pause) What do you mean, Joey who? (covers the phone, to Joey) Joey who?Joey: Tribbiani.Lydia: Joey Tribbiani. Yes, ok. Hold on. (to Joey) She wants to talk to you. Take the phone.Joey: (takes phone) Hi, yeah, it's me. (Listens) Oh, no no no, we're just friends. (Listens) Yeah, I'm single. (Listens) 25. (Listens) An actor. (Listens) Hello?Lydia: She's not much of a phone person.Joey: Yeah, so, uh, so, uh, what's the deal with this father guy, I mean, if someone was havin' my baby somewhere, I'd wanna know about it, you know?Lydia: Hey, Knick fan, am I interested in your views on fatherhood? Uh, no.Joey: Ok, look, maybe I should just go.Lydia: Maybe you should.Joey: Good luck, and uh, take care, huh?(He leaves, but then returns a moment later.)Joey: You know what the Celtics problem is? They let the players run the team.Lydia: Oh, that is so not true.Joey: Oh, it is.Lydia: It isn't.Joey: It is.Lydia: Isn't![Scene: Carol's Hospital Room, Ross and Susan are coaching Carol.] Ross: Bre athe.Susan: Breathe.Ross: Breathe.Susan: Breathe.Ross: Breathe.Susan: Breathe.Carol: You're gonna kill me!Ross: 15 more seconds, 14, 13, 12...Carol: Count faster.Susan: It's gonna be ok, just remember, we're doing this for Jordie. Just keep focusing on Jordie.Ross: Who the hell is Jordie?Susan: Your son.Ross: No-no-no. I don't have a son named Jordie. We all agreed, my son's name is Jamie.Carol: Well, Jamie was the name of Susan's first girlfriend, so we went back to Jordie. 我们根本没讨论过裘帝我们讨论过洁希寇帝，迪伦时提到一下我脚抽筋我脚抽筋你和她睡觉我来处理抽筋你不行够了，你们都给我出去什么?是她引起的…我不管，我想生下小孩你们在这儿根本是愈帮愈忙卿走卿走出去出去怎么了?有东西爆炸了她破水了冷静点，行吗?她破水了?什么意思?什么是破水?什么是破水?拜托，都是你的错怎么说?为什么都是我的错?你们在一起之前卡萝从未把我赶出房间是吗?我出现之前有许多事卡萝没做过是吗?我出现之前有许多事卡萝没做过知道你的问题出在哪儿吗?你因我而感到岌岌可危我说的每件事都是问题我因你而感到岌岌可危?你到底在说什么?够了，进去，快我简直不敢相信你们两个小宝宝即将诞生在这栋建筑他听见的第一个声音不该是你们的吵闹声所以你们别再吵了对，苏珊别让我再发一次脾气我不喜欢我自己这样谁想听反讽的事?救命啊…我的宝宝就要诞生你们都退后你们都退后你们都退后找到人之前我们都会在这儿陪你的你告诉我巴黎的事真棒真的?那家糕饼店就在我住的饭店隔壁真的?那家糕饼店就在我住的饭店隔壁Ross: What? Whoa, whoa whoa whoa, what do you mean, back to Jordie? We never landed on Jordie. We just passed by it during the whole Jessy, Cody, Dylan fiasco.Carol: Ow, ow, ow, ow, leg cramp, leg cramp, leg cramp.Ross: I got it.Susan: I got it.Ross: I got it! Hey, you get to sleep with her, I get the cramps. Susan: No, you don't.Carol: All right, that's it. I want both of you out.Ross: Why?Susan: He started it!Ross: No, you started it.Susan: You did!Carol: I don't care. I am trying to get a person out of my body here, and you're not making it any easier.Ross: But...Carol: Now go!Ross: (to Susan) Thanks a lot.Susan: (to Ross) See what you did.Ross: (to Carol) Yeah, listen...Carol: Out!(Ross and Susan both angrily leave the hopsital room.)[Scene: Lydia's Hospital Room, Joey is helping Lydia go through labor, a nurse is now present in her room as well.]Nurse: Breathe, breathe, breathe...Lydia: Oh, no.(Joey looks down at Lydia.)Joey: Ew! What is that? Something exploded!Nurse: It's just her water breaking. Calm down, will you?Joey:(panicked) Water breaking, what do you mean? What's that, water breaking?Nurse: (to Joey) Breathe, breathe, breathe.[Scene: The Hall, Ross and Susan are arguing.]Ross: Please. This is so your fault.Susan: How, how is this my fault?Ross:Look, Carol never threw me out of a room before you came along. Susan: Yeah? Well, there's a lot of things Carol never did before I came along.Ross: You tryin' to be clever? A funny lady?Susan: You know what your problem is? You're threatened by me. Ross: Oh, I'm threatened by you?Susan: Yes.(Phoebe has heard them arguing and comes dow n the hall, taking them into a broom closet.)Phoebe: Hey, hey, ok, all right, that's it! Get in here. Come on. My god, you guys, I don't believe you. There are children coming into the world in this very building and your negative fighting noises are not the first thing they should be hearing. So just stop all the 加油，莉迪亚，你办得到加油，莉迪亚，你办得到我只是…我只是…你想干嘛?将门吸开?你想干嘛?将门吸开?最后他们终于发现他们的尸体不，妈，一切顺利对，罗斯很好他在其他地方不，他不见了不，你们不用飞回来我唯一的机会?什么意思?别再说了，行吗?我才26岁我连小孩的事都没想过你上哪儿去了?我刚生了个小孩了不起说不定，或许是一小时也可能是三小时别请放心，她的状况良好告诉我，目前有对象吗?没有，现在没有你呢?没有，我不容易找到对象对，我听过有关帅哥大夫的传间没有，真的我想和我工作有关我试着不让工作影响我的生活如果你是我你从事什么工作?我是服务生难道你下班回家后不会觉得…如果我再看见咖啡杯…我懂我去看看你朋友你怎么会知道我在这儿?你妈打电话告诉我的这就是她?不，这是我捡来的抱歉，让你自己承担这一切我不是自己一个我有大夫，护士和善心人士知道谁赢吗?尼克胜十分他们好烂是吗?他们没那么差劲可恶…都是你的错这本来是我今生最快乐的日子我儿子即将出世我应该在那儿的yelling, just stop it!Ross: Yeah, Susan.Phoebe:Don't make me do this again, I don't like my voice like this. (Phoebe goes to leave the room, but the door is locked.)Phoebe: Ok, who wants to hear something ironic?Commercial Break[Scene: The Broom Closet, Ross and Susan are trying to get out.] All: Help!Ross: I'm having a baby in here! Ok, everyone stand back. (Walks backwards as if he is going to break down the door, but steps in a bucket and falls) Ow.[Scene: Carol's room, Rachel and Dr. Franzblau are there with her.] Carol: Are they here yet?Rachel:No, honey, they're not, but don't worry, because we are going to find them, and until we do, we are all here for you, ok?Carol: Ok.Rachel: Ok?Carol: Ok.Rachel: (to Dr. Franzblau) Ok, so anyway, you were telling me about Paris, it sounds fascinating.Dr. Franzblau:It really was. There was this great little pastry shop right by my hotel. (Carol sits up in pain, Rachel and Dr. Franzblau casually lay her back down) There you go, dear.[Scene: Lydia's Room, Joey is helping her deliver.]Joey:Come on, Lydia, you can do it. Push! Push 'em out, push 'em out, harder, harder. Push 'em out, push 'em out, way out! Let's get that ball and really move, hey, hey, ho, ho. Let's— (notices the nurse looking at him strangely) I was just—yeah, right. Push! Push! [Scene: The Broom Closet, Ross has picked up a vacuum and is holding it at the door.]Susan: What're you gonna do, suck the door open?Ross: Help! Help!Phoebe:(singing) They found their bodies the very next day, they found their bodies the very next...(sees Ross and Susan staring at her) la la la la la la.Susan and Ross: (even louder) Help![Scene: The Waiting Room, Monica is on the phone with her mother, Chandler is standing behind her.]Monica: Now, Mom, everything's going fine, really. (Listens) Yeah, Ross is great. He's uh, he's in a whole other place. (Listens) No, he's gone. (Listens) No no, you don't have to fly back, really. (Listens) What do you mean this might be your only chance? (Listens) Would you stop? I'm only 26, I'm not even thinking about babies yet. (Monica sees a woman pass by with a baby, puts the phone to her chest, and starts to cry. Chandler takes the phone, makes a noise in it resembling static, and hangs up. Joey enters.)Chandler: Where have you been?Joey: Oh, just had a baby. 而不是被困在这儿我所爱的女人就要生我和你一样期待已久不，相信我没人像我如此期待讽刺的是你们将带着宝宝回家讽刺的是你们将带着宝宝回家大家都知道你是我是谁?这世上有父亲节，母亲节却没有女同志节每天都是女同志节精彩愿意解释吗?因为我小时候我爸离开我妈过世，我继父入狱我根本得不到父母的爱如今他有如此爱他的三个父母甚至为谁给他的爱最多而吵架而且他根本还未出世他真是全天下最幸福的宝宝抱歉，你们正在吵架他们在哪儿?他们很快就会来对，他们不会错过的对，放轻松才开九公分宝宝没那么快出来你吓到我了谁愿意帮我吗?她想掏出我的心脏这下可好，有人看见乳头吗?十公分，开始用力不要再用力了他们还没好抱歉，我无法叫宝宝等他们来抱歉，我无法叫宝宝等他们来通气口开了我是宾我是医院工人宾宾前来抢救了宾，准备好没?脚给我数到数到数到你看见什么?我看见黑暗的通气孔等等，真的是黑暗的通气孔菲此，门开了等等，你们忘了脚我们来了你们上哪儿去了说来话长Chandler: Mazel tov![Scene: The Waiting Room, Rachel and Dr. Franzblau have gone to get coffee.]Dr. Franzblau: I don't know, could be an hour, could be three, but relax, she's doing great. So, uh, tell me, are you currently involved with anyone?Rachel: (anxiously) No, no, not at the moment, no, I'm not. Are you? Dr. Franzblau: No, it's hard enough to get women to go out with me. Rachel: Right, yeah, I've heard that about cute doctors.Dr. Franzblau:No, no, really. I suppose it's because I spend so much time, you know, where I do.Rachel: Oh.Dr. Franzblau: I try not to let my work affect my personal life, but it's hard, when you... do what I do. It's like uh...Well, for instance, what do you do?Rachel: I'm a waitress.Dr. Franzblau: Ok, all right, well aren't there times when you come home at the end of the day, and you're just like, 'if I see one more cup of coffee'...Rachel: (getting the point) Yeah. Gotcha.Dr. Franzblau: I'm gonna go check up on your friend.Rachel: Ok. That's fine. (takes her earrings out)[Scene: The Hall Outside Lydia's Room, Joey is walking up to Lydia's room with balloons, but before he enters he sees that the baby's father has arrived. He listens at the door.]Lydia: So how did you know I was even here?Guy: Your mom called me. So is this her?Lydia: No, this is a loaner.Guy: I'm sorry you had to do this by yourself.Lydia: I wasn't by myself. I had a doctor, a nurse, and a helper guy. (Joey smiles) So, did you see who won the game?Guy: Yeah, the Knicks by 10. They suck.Lydia: Yeah, they're not so bad.(Joey closes the door and ties the balloons to the knob. Then he walks away, holding the hand of an inflated balloon animal he had brought.) [Scene: The Broom Closet, Ross is trying to open the door with a credit card, with no success.]Ross: Come on, come on. Damnit, damnit, damnit, damnit. (to Susan) This is all your fault. This is supposed to be, like, the greatest day of my life, y'know? My son is being born, and I should be in there, you know, instead of stuck in a closet with you.Susan:The woman I love is having a baby today. I've been waiting for this just as much as you have.Ross: No no no, believe me. No one has been waiting for this as much as I have, ok? And you know what the funny thing is? When this day is over, you get to go home with the baby, ok? Where does that leave me?Susan: You get to be the baby's father. Everyone knows who you are. 卡萝，我要你不断用力抱歉，我能用这个…这里人太多了而且待会儿又会多一个所以不是前任丈夫和女同志终身伴侣者请出去再见了…祝好运…我问你，要卡萝的女同志终身伴侣才行吗?出去他的头露出来了让我看看…是头…好大卡萝，你是怎么办到的?于事无补你做得很好…抱歉你看见什么?我何时能见到头，肩膀和手臂都出来了看，是手指，肚子是男的百分百男孩百分百男孩他出来了他是个人他是个人他像谁?像我叔叔艾德，被果冻包着像我叔叔艾德，被果冻包着各位，他好漂亮谢了，菲此不准大吼我们仍需要为他取个名字宾如何?我喜欢宾宾，这名字不错你们之前怎没提过这名字?刚想出来的这就是我们不在时做的事我们能进来吗?当然，请进我知道各位，向你们介绍一个人他叫宾宾，这是大家宾，这是大家苏珊，他看起来像你谢谢天啊，没想到我们之啤有人生宝宝了Ross: We're here!Carol: (irked) Where have you been?Ross: Long story, honey.Dr. Franzblau:All right, Carol, I need you to keep pushing. I need—(reaches for an instrument, Rachel's hand is on it) Excuse me, could I have this?Nurse: All right, all right, there's a few too many people in this room, and there's about to be one more, so anybody who's not an ex-husband or a lesbian life partner, out you go!All: Good luck!(Everyone heads for the door.)Chandler:(to nurse) Let me ask you, do you have to be Carol's lesbian life partner?Nurse: Out!Dr. Franzblau: All right, he's crowning. Here he comes.Ross:Let me see, I gotta see, I gotta see. Oh, a head. Oh, it's, it's huge. Carol, how are you doing this?Carol: (straining) Not.... helping!Dr. Franzblau: You're doing great, you're doing fine.Ross: (puts his head near the baby) Hello! (to Dr. Franzblau) Oh, sorry.Susan: What do you see? What do you see?Ross: We got a head, we got shoulders, we got arms, we got, oh, look at the little fingers, oh, and a chest, and a stomach. It's a boy, definitely a boy! All right! Ok, legs, knees, and feet. Oh, oh. He's here. He's a person.Susan: Oh, look at that.Carol: What does he look like?Ross: Kinda like my uncle Ed, covered in Jell-o.Carol: Really?Phoebe: (from the air vent overhead) You guys, he's beautiful! Ross: Oh, thanks, Pheebs!(They look up towards the vent and wave at Phoebe.)[Scene: The Delivery Room, Carol is holding the infant.]Susan: No shouting, but we still need a name for this little guy. Ross: (thinking) How 'bout Ben?Susan: I like Ben.Carol:Ben. Ben. Ben's good. How come you never mentioned Ben before? Ross: We uh, we just cooked it up.Susan: That's what we were off doing.(Monica opens the door.)Monica: Hi.Ross: Hey.Monica: Can we come i n?(The whole gang enters.)Ross: (to Ben) I know, I know. Everybody, there's someone I'd like you to meet. Yeah. This is Ben. Ben, this is everybody.Phoebe: Susan, he looks just like you.Susan: Thanks.Rachel:Oh, god, I can't believe one of us actually has one of these. Chandler: I know, I still am one of these.Monica: Ross, can I?(Monica holds Ben.)Ross: The head, the head. You gotta...Monica: (getting choked up) Hi, Ben. Hi. I'm your Aunt Monica. Yes I am. I'm your Aunt Monica. I...I will always have gum.Closing Credits[Scene: The Hospital, the camera is placed as though it were Ben's eyes.]Ross: Ben, I want you to know that there may be some times when I may not be around, like this. (walks out of the picture) But I'll still always come back, like this. (returns) And sometimes I may be away longer, like this. (walks away) But I'll still always come back, like this. (returns)(Chandler comes into the picture.)Chandler: And sometimes, I'll want you to steal third, and I'll go like this. (Does a baseball sign.)(The rest of the group come into the picture.)Monica: He is so amazing.Rachel: Oh, I know. Look at him.Joey: Ben, Ben, hey Ben. Nothing. I don't think that's his name. Phoebe: Oh, look, look, he's closing his eyes. (screen goes blank) Look, he's opening his eyes. (picture comes back)Joey: He doesn't do muc h, does he?Ross: No, this is pretty much it.(long moment of silence)Rachel: You guys wanna get some coffee?All: Yeah.Ross: All right, I'll see you guys later.(They all leave but Ross, but they all come back a few seconds later. They make faces at the baby.)Phoebe: Oh, look, he's closing his eyes again.(The screen fades to black.)End。

110 The One With the Monkey猴子[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is entering.]Ross: Guys? There's a somebody I'd like you to meet.各位我想介绍一个人给大家认识(A monkey jumps on to his shoulder.)All: Oooh!Monica: W-wait. What is that? 等等…这是怎么回事?Ross: 'That' would be Marcel. You wanna say hi?他叫马修,想和他打声招呼?Monica: No, no, I don't. 不,我不要Rachel: Oh, he is precious! Where did you get him?他好可爱,哪里得到他的?Ross: My friend Bethel rescued him from some lab.我朋友贝瑟把它从实验室救出来的Phoebe: That is so cruel! Why? Why would a parent name their child Bethel?真残忍，为何有父母会将孩子取名为圣地(贝瑟)?Chandler: Hey, that monkey's got a Ross on its ass!那猴子的屁股上长了个罗斯Monica: Ross, is he gonna live with you, like, in your apartment?罗斯,它要和你同住吗?Ross: Yeah. I mean, it's been kinda quiet since Carol left, so...对,卡萝离开後家里冷清清的Monica: Why don't you just get a roommate?为何不找个室友?Ross: Nah, I dunno... I think you reach a certain age, having a roommate is kinda pathe- (Realises) ....sorry, that's, that's 'pathet', which is Sanskrit for 'really cool way to live'.人到一定的年纪后与室友同住是有点可悲(pathet)…抱歉,是pathet，在梵语中代表很酷的生活方式Opening Credits[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is getting ready to sing. Joey is not there.]Phoebe: So you guys, I'm doing all new material tonight. I have twelve new songs about my mother's suicide, and one about a snowman.各位,我今天将唱全新的曲目，我写了12首关于我妈自杀的歌，及一首有关雪人的歌Chandler: Might wanna open with the snowman.你最好先唱雪人(Enter Joey)All: Hey, Joey. Hey, buddy.Monica: So, how'd it go? 如何?Joey: Ahhhhhh, I didn't get the job. -我没得到那份工作Ross: How could you not get it? You were Santa last year.你怎可能会没得到?你是去年的圣诞老人Joey: I dunno. Some fat guy's sleeping with the store manager. He's not even jolly, it's all political.不知道哪个胖子和店经理有一腿，他根本无法逗人开心,这就是政治Monica: So what are you gonna be? 那么你扮演什么?Joey: Ah, I'm gonna be one of his helpers. It's just such a slap in the face, y'know?当他的助手，就像是脸上的一个巴掌,你明白的?(真是耻辱)Rachel: Hey, do you guys know what you're doing for New Year's? (Theyall protest and hit her with cushions) Gee, what?! What is wrong with New Year's?你们打算如何过新年? 什么?新年有什么不对劲吗?Chandler: Nothing for you, you have Paolo. You don't have to face the horrible pressures of this holiday: desperate scramble to find anything with lips just so you can have someone to kiss when the ball drops!! Man, I'm talking loud!你有保罗.无须面对新年带来的压力，无须急着寻找有嘴唇的生物，便于在球落下那一刻有个亲嘴的对象，哦,我说得太大声了!Rachel: Well, for your information, Paolo is gonna be in Rome this New Year, so I'll be just as pathetic as the rest of you.保罗新年时会在罗马，所以我将和各位一样可悲Phoebe: Yeah, you wish! 想得美Chandler: It's just that I'm sick of being a victim of this Dick Clark holiday. I say this year, no dates, we make a pact. Just the six of us- dinner.我有个主意,聚餐，不错,我们可以把它放在午饭和早饭之间，我不想再听到迪克拉克的疲劳轰炸，我说今年,我们约定.只有我们6个共进晚餐All: Yeah, okay. Alright.Chandler: Y'know, I was hoping for a little more enthusiasm.我希望大家能更开心点All: Woooo! Yeah!Rachel: Phoebe, you're on. 菲比,该上台了Phoebe: Oh, oh, good.Rachel: (Into microphone) Okay, hi. Ladies and gentlemen, back bypopular demand, Miss Phoebe Buffay. Wooh!各位,回应大家要求，菲比布费小姐Phoebe: (Takes mike) Thanks, hi. Um, I wanna start with a song that means a lot to me this time of year. (Shakes bell as an introduction) (Sung:)首先的这首歌在这种时节令我感慨万分I made a man with eyes of coalAnd a smile so bewitchin',How was I supposed to knowThat my mom was dead in the kitchen?(shakes bell) La lalala la la la la lalala la la...我做了一个人,眼睛是煤炭做的，他有谜样的微笑，我如何能承受，母亲死在厨房的事实，(Cut to later. Everyone is totally depressed by now.)Phoebe: (Sung)...My mother's ashesEven her eyelashesAre resting in a little yellow jar,And sometimes when it's breezy...母亲的骨灰，甚至是她的睫毛，都安放在一个黄色的小骨灰坛，当有时天寒地冻，(Over the sound of Phoebe singing we hear two scientists, Max and David, having a noisy discussion)Phoebe: (Sung)...I feel a little sneezyAnd now I- (abruptly stops)Excuse me, excuse me! Yeah, noisy boys! (They stop talking and look up) Is it something that you would like to share with the entire group?我感觉有点想打啧涕，如今我…抱歉,吵闹的男人，有什么想和大家分享的吗? Max: No. No, that's- that's okay. 没.没,没事Phoebe: Well, c'mon, if it's important enough to discuss while I'm playing, then I assume it's important enough for everyone else to hear! 如果有事如此重要你们非在我唱歌时谈论，那就重要的足以与我们分享Chandler: (Quietly, to the others) That guy's going home with a note!那家伙铁定会带着一本注意事项回家去David: Noth- I was- I was just saying to my-我是告诉我朋友…Phoebe: Could you speak up please? 大声点行吗?David: (Stands up and speaks more loudly) Sorry, I wa- I was just saying to my friend that I thought you were the most beautiful woman that I'd ever seen in my- in my life. And then he said that- you said you thought 抱歉,我，我告诉我朋友：你是我见过最漂亮的女孩Max: Daryl Hannah. 他说黛瑞汉娜…David: Daryl Hannah was the most beautiful woman that he'd ever seen in his life and I said yeah, I liked her in Splash, a lot, but not so much in- in Wall Street, I thought she had kind of a黛瑞汉娜是他见过最美的女人，我说我喜欢“美人鱼”中的她，但“华尔街”就没那么喜欢了，她没那种硬派气质，Max: Hard quality.David: -hard quality. And uh, while Daryl Hannah is beautiful in a conventional way, you are luminous with a kind of a delicate grace. Then, uh, that-that-that's when you started yelling. (Sits down)黛瑞汉娜是传统的美，而你散发出高雅的气质，然后你就叫我们了Phoebe: Okay, we're gonna take a short break. (Goes over to their table) 休息片刻Joey: Hey, that guy's going home with more than a note!那小伙得到得远不止注意事项了啊(抱得美人归)[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone except Joey is decorating for Christmas.]Ross: Come here, Marcel. Sit here. (Marcel wanders off)过来,马修,坐这儿Rachel: Pheebs, I can't believe he hasn't kissed you yet. I mean God, by my sixth date with Paolo, I mean he had already named both mybreasts! ...Ooh. Did I just share too much?拜托,没想到他还没亲你，我第6次和保罗约会时，他就为我的双峰取了名字，我分享太多了吗?Ross: Just a smidge. 一点点Phoebe: David's like, y'know, Scientist Guy. He's very methodical.大卫是个科学家,做事一丝不苟Monica: I think it's romantic. 我认为这很浪漫Phoebe: Me too! Oh! Did you ever see An Officer and a Gentleman?我也这么想! 你们看过军官与绅士吗?Rachel: Yeah!Phoebe: Well, he's kinda like the guy I went to see that with. Except, except he-he's smarter, and gentler, and sweeter... I just- I just wanna be with him all the time. Day and night, and night and day... andspecial occasions...他就是我心目中的白马王子，除了他更聪明,温柔体贴，我只想整天和他厮守在一起，不管是白天或夜晚,还是夜晚或白天，还有特别的日子Chandler: Wait a minute, wait a minute, I see where this is going,you're gonna ask him to New Year's, aren't you. You're gonna break the pact. She's gonna break the pact.等等,我知道了，你邀他共渡新年,对不? 她想抛弃我们Phoebe: No, no, no, no, no, no. Yeah, could I just?不…对,我可以…Chandler: Yeah, 'cause I already asked Janice.好吧,因为我已约了珍妮丝Monica: What?! 什么?Ross: C'mon, this was a pact! This was your pact!这是一个约定!这是你们的约定!Chandler: I snapped, okay? I couldn't handle the pressure and I snapped. 我耐不住寂寞,我毁约了Monica: Yeah, but Janice? That-that was like the worst breakup inhistory!可是珍妮丝…你们的分手不是糟透了?Chandler: I'm not saying it was a good idea, I'm saying I snapped!我没说这是个好主意,我毁约了[Joey enters, his shoes have bells on, which jingle as he walks. He is wearing a long coat.]Joey: Hi. Hi, sorry I'm late. 抱歉,我迟到了(He removes the coat to reveal an elf costume)Chandler: Too many jokes... must mock Joey!滑稽了，快取笑乔伊Joey: Nice shoes, huh? (He wiggles his foot and the bells tinkle)鞋子正点吧Chandler: Aah, y'killing me!(Marcel knocks over some kitchen tools)Monica: Ross! He's playing with my spatulas again!罗斯,它又玩我的铲子Ross: Okay, look, he's not gonna hurt them, right?它又不会玩坏的Monica: Do you always have to bring him here?你非得每次都带它来不可吗?Ross: I didn't wanna leave him alone. Alright? We- we had our firstfight this morning. I think it has to do with my working late. I said some things that I didn't mean, and he- he threw some faeces...我不想留下他一个人?我们早上才吵了一架，一定是我加班惹的祸我说了不该说的话，它就朝我扔一坨屎Chandler: Y'know, if you're gonna work late, I could look in on him for you.如果你必须加班,我可以替你照顾它Ross: Oh, that'd be great! Okay, but if you do, make sure it seems like you're there to see him, okay, and you're not like doing it as a favour to me.这太好了，如果你去照顾它, 要装成一付去找它的样子，不能让它知道你是在帮我忙Chandler: Okay, but if he asks, I'm not going to lie.好,但它如果问起我可就要直话直说了[Scene: Max and David's lab, David is explaining something to Phoebe with the aid of a whiteboard.]David: ...But, you can't actually test this theory, because today's particle accelerators are nowhere near powerful enough to simulate these conditions.但我们仍无法测试这个理论，因为今日粒子加速的速度，仍无法模拟出这样的情况Phoebe: Okay, alright, I have a question, then.好,我有个问题David: Yuh.Phoebe: Um, were you planning on kissing me ever?你打算亲我吗?David: Uh, that's definitely a, uh, valid question. And, uh, the answer would be (Writes YES on the board) yes. Yes I was. But, see, I wanted it to be this phenomenal kiss that happened at this phenomenal moment, because, well, 'cause it's you.这是个正当而合理的问题答案是…答案是…是的.对,我曾想过但我要让这非凡的吻…发生在非凡的时刻,因为是你Phoebe: Sure. 当然David: Right. But, see, the longer I waited, the more phenomenal the kiss had to be, and now we've reached a place where it's just gotta be one of those things where I just like... sweep everything off the table and throw you down on it. And, uh, I'm not really a, uh, sweeping sorta fella.但等得越久亲吻就越非凡，而在此时此地,我想…扫去桌上的一切,将你丢在上面，但我不是会扫去一切,那种猴急的男人Phoebe: Oh, David, I, I think you are a sweeping sorta fella. I mean, you're a sweeper! ...trapped inside a physicist's body.大卫,我想你是，你是被困在物理学家体内的猛男David: Rrrreally. 真的?Phoebe: Oh, yeah, oh, I'm sure of it. You should just do it, just sweep and throw me.没错,我确定，你应该解放出来,把我丢上去吧David: ...Now? Now? 现在?Phoebe: Oh yeah, right now. 对,现在David: Okay, okay, okay. (Gets ready to sweep, and then picks up a laptop computer) Y'know what, this was just really expensive. (Puts itdown elsewhere. Then picks up a microscope) And I'll take- this was a gift. (Moves it)好.好.好，这东西很贵的，这个是人家送的Phoebe: Okay, now you're just kinda tidying.你在清理场地?David: Okay, what the hell, what the hell. (Sweeps the remaining papers off the desk and grabs Phoebe) You want me to actually throw you or you-you wanna just hop?好吧,管他的，你想让我丢上去还是自己跳上去?Phoebe: I can hop. (She hops onto the table) 我自己跳好了(They kiss, finally)[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there.]Ross: So tell me something. What does the phrase 'no date pact' mean to you?告诉我,“没有约会的约定”对你们有何意义?Monica: I'm sorry, okay. It's just that Chandler has somebody, and Phoebe has somebody- I thought I'd ask Fun Bobby.钱德有对象,菲比也有对象，所以我约了搞笑巴比Chandler: Fun Bobby? Your ex-boyfriend Fun Bobby?搞笑巴比?你的前任男友搞笑巴比?Monica: Yeah.Joey: You know more than one Fun Bobby?你还认识其他的搞笑巴比?Chandler: I happen to know a Fun Bob.我认识搞笑巴伯Rachel: (Brings Joey a mug of coffee) Okay, here we go...Joey: Ooh ooh ooh ooh, there's no room for milk!太满了,我没法加牛奶了Rachel: (Glances at Joey and then sips his coffee) There. Now there is. 好了,这下可以了Ross: Okay, so on our no-date evening, three of you now have dates.所以在这个没有约会的晚上,三人另有节目Joey: Uh, four. 四人Ross: Four.Rachel: Five. 五人Ross: Five. (Buries his head in his hands)Rachel: Sorry. Paolo's catching an earlier flight.抱歉,保罗提早搭飞机回来Joey: Yeah, and I met this really hot single mom at the store. What's an elf to do?而我在商场遇上—个火辣辣的单亲妈妈，我这个小精灵怎能抗拒?Ross: Okay, so I'm gonna be the only one standing there alone when the ball drops?这么说球落下那一刻，我是唯一一个孤零零的家伙?Rachel: Oh, c'mon. We'll have, we'll have a big party, and no-one'll know who's with who.我们将举行盛大的派对，而且没人知道到底知道谁和谁Ross: Hey, y'know, this is so not what I needed right now.我知道,而且这不是我现在需要知道的Monica: What's the matter? 你怎么了?Ross: Oh, it's-it's Marcel. He keeps shutting me out, y'know? He's walking around all the time dragging his hands...都是马修，它生我的气了，我不知道为什么它一直不让我进门，它拖着双手不断绕圈子Chandler: That's so weird, I had such a blast with him the other night. 真是诡异我前几天晚上还跟它相处愉快Ross: Really. 真的?Chandler: Yeah, we played, we watched TV.. that juggling thing is amazing.我们一起玩,看电视杂耍那一部份真是太精彩了Ross: What, uh... what juggling thing? 什么杂耍?Chandler: With the balled-up socks? I figured you taught him that.拿袜子当球耍,我以为是你教它的Ross: No.Chandler: Y'know, it wasn't that big a deal. He just balled up socks... and a melon...这也不算什么,只是拿袜子罢了，还有一颗香瓜(Max runs in)Max: Phoebe. Hi.Phoebe: Oh, hi Max! Hey, do you know everybody?马克斯,认识大家吗?Max: No. Have you seen David?不认识,你看见大卫吗?Phoebe: No, no, he hasn't been around.没有,他没在这儿Max: Well, if you see him, tell him to pack his bags. We are going to Minsk.看见他时告诉他快打包,我们要去明斯克Phoebe: Minsk? 明斯克?Max: Minsk. It's in Russia. 在苏联Phoebe: I know where Minsk is. 我知道明斯克在哪儿Max: We got the grant. Three years, all expenses paid.我们已申请到奖助金，全额赞助我们三年Phoebe: So when, when do you leave? 你们何时去明斯克Max: January first. 元旦(新年第一天)Commercial Break[Scene: Max and David's lab, they are working. Phoebe knocks on the door] Phoebe: Hello? 有人吗?David: Hey!Phoebe: Hi.David: Hi! (Kisses her) What-what're you doing here?你来这儿干什么?Phoebe: Um, well, Max told me about Minsk, so (Puts on a fake cheery voice) congratulations! This is so exciting!马克斯告诉我明克斯的事了，恭喜了,真叫人兴奋Max: It'd be even more exciting if we were going.能去的话会更叫人兴奋Phoebe: Oh, you're not going? (Fake disappointed voice) Oh, why?你不去了?为什么?Max: Tell her, David. 'I don't wanna go to Minsk and work with Lifsonand Yamaguchi and Flench, on nonononononono. I wanna stay here and make out with my girlfriend!!' (Storms out)告诉她,“我不打算去…” …去和李本斯亚马古基与法朗克共事，我要留下来和我的女友培养感情David: Thank you, Max. Thank you. 够了,马克斯,谢谢Phoebe: So-so you're really not going? 你真的不去?David: I don't know. I don't know what I'm gonna do. I just- you decide. 我也不知道,我只是…我不知道.你决定Phoebe: Oh don't do that. 别这样David: Please. 我是在求你Phoebe: Oh no no.David: No, but I'm asking-Phoebe: Oh, but I can't do that-我不能那么做David: No, but I can't-Phoebe: It's your thing, and-David: -make the decision-Phoebe: Okay, um, stay. 留下来David: Stay.Phoebe: Stay.(He thinks for a moment and sweeps the stuff off the table)Phoebe: Getting so good at that! (She hops on)你进步神速啊!David: It was Max's stuff. (They kiss)这是麦克斯的东西[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the party has started.]Janice: I love this artichoke thing! Oh, don't tell me what's in it, the diet starts tomorrow! (Laughs her Janice laugh)我喜欢菊芋，别告诉我里面是什么，我明天才开始节食Chandler: You remember Janice. 记得珍妮丝?Monica: Vividly. 历历在目(Someone knocks on the door; Monica gets it)Monica: Hi.Sandy: Hi, I'm Sandy.Joey: Sandy! Hi! C'mon in! (She enters, followed by a young boy and a younger girl)...You brought your kids. 你把孩子都带来了Sandy: Yeah. That's okay, right? 对,可以吗?(Joey and Monica look at each other and shrug. Ross enters with Marcelon his shoulder)Ross: Par-tay!Monica: That thing is not coming in here. 这东西不可以进来Ross: 'That thing'? This is how you greet guests at a party? Let me ask you something, if I showed up here with my new girlfriend, she wouldn't be welcome in your home?东西?你都这样招呼客人吗? 我问你,如果我带着新女友来，你也不欢迎她进来? Monica: I'm guessing your new girlfriend wouldn't urinate on my coffee table.你的新女友不会尿在我的咖啡桌上Ross: Okay. He was more embarrassed about that than anyone. Okay? Andfor him to have the courage to walk back in here like nothing happened... 它已经够难为情了,行吗? 它已鼓足勇气回到这里，就当一切都没发生过一样Monica: Alright. Just keep him away from me.好,叫它离我远点就是了Ross: Thank you. (She walks off) C'mon, Marcel, whaddya say you and I do a little mingling? (Marcel runs off) Alright, I'll, uh... catch up with you later.谢谢.来,马修，咱们去交际一下吧，好吧,待会儿见(The door opens. Rachel is standing there. Her coat is muddy and torn, her hair is dishevelled and her face is bruised. Everyone turns to look) Monica: Oh my gosh! Rachel, honey.. are you okay? Where-where's Paolo?天啊,瑞秋,你没事吧? 保罗在哪儿?Rachel: Rome. Jerk missed his flight.罗马.那混蛋没赶上飞机Phoebe: And then... your face is bloated?然后你的脸就爆炸了?Rachel: No. Okay. I was at the airport, getting into a cab, when this woman- this blonde planet with a pocketbook- starts yelling at me. Something about how it was her cab first. And then the next thing I know she just starts- starts pulling me out by my hair! So I'm blowing my attack whistle thingy and three more cabs show up, and as I'm going to get into a cab she tackles me. And I hit my head on the kerb and cut my lip on my whistle...oh...everybody having fun at the party? (To Monica) Are people eating my dip?不是，我在机场要进入计程车时，一个带着一本书的金发女人，开始对我大叫,说是她先拦到的，然后她就开始扯我的头发，我拿出口哨猛吹，结果又来了三辆计程车，我要进入车时,她又展开攻击，结果我撞上了马路牙子，嘴唇被口中的哨子弄伤，大家玩得还愉快吧? -有人吃我的泡菜吗[Time lapse. Monica and Rachel, fixed up somewhat, emerge from a bedroom] Sandy: Y'know, when I saw you at the store last week, it was probablythe first time I ever mentally undressed an elf.我上周在商场看见你时，那或许是我第一次想像裸体的小精灵Joey: Wow, that's, uh, dirty. 真淫荡Sandy: Yeah.(They almost kiss and then Joey realises her kids are staring at them) Joey: Hey, kids...Ross: (Watching Marcel play with Phoebe. To Chandler) Look at him. I'm not saying he has to spend the whole evening with me, but at least check in.我没说他得整晚和我待在一起，但至少也得来问候一声Janice: (Startles them) There you are! Haaah, you got away from me!原来你在这儿，你从我身边逃跑了Chandler: (Imitating) But you found me! 但又被你逮到了Janice: Here, Ross, take our picture. (Hands him a camera and he starts snapping) Smile! You're on Janice Camera!罗斯,帮我们照一张，笑一个,你在珍妮丝的相机中了Chandler: Kill me. Kill me now. 杀了我吧,现在就杀了我(Someone else knocks on the door. Monica looks through the spyhole) Monica: Hey everybody! It's Fun Bobby! 各位,搞笑巴比来了(Everyone cheers. Monica opens the door. Bobby is obviously very depressed)Fun Bobby: Hey, sorry I'm late. But my, uh, grandfather, he- died about two hours ago. But I-I-I couldn't get a flight out 'til tomorrow, sohere I am!抱歉,我迟到了.我祖父他，他在两小时前过世了，明天才有飞机,所以我来了Joey: (Approaching) Hey Fun Bobby! Whoah! Who died?搞笑巴比,近来可好?谁死了?(Monica gestures wildly behind Fun Bobby's back)[Time lapse. Bobby is talking about his grandfather. Everyone else is virtually in tears]Fun Bobby: It's gonna be an open casket, y'know, so at least I'll- I get to see him again.他棺材将暂时不盖上，所以我至少可以再见他最后一面Janice: (Ross is still taking their photo) Oh, I'm gonna blow this one up, and I'm gonna write 'Reunited' in glitter.我要在上面哈口气,然后写上“破镜重圆”Chandler: Alright, Janice, that's it! Janice... Janice... Hey, Janice, when I invited you to this party I didn't necessarily think that it meant that we-珍妮丝,够了，珍妮丝…珍妮丝…珍妮丝,我邀你来并不代表我们…Janice: Oh, no. Oh, no. 哦，不…Chandler: I'm sorry you misunderstood... 抱歉,让你误会了Janice: Oh my God. You listen to me, Chandler, you listen to me. One of these times is just gonna be your last chance with me. (She runs off)你听我说…你听我说…这可能是你我最后一次共处了，(Ross is still taking photos)Chandler: Oh, will you give me the thing. (Snatches the camera)那东西可以给我吗?(David is feeding Phoebe popcorn. Max walks up)Phoebe: Hi, Max!Max: Yoko. (To David) I've decided to go to Minsk without you.我决定自己去明斯克了David: Wow.Max: It won't be the same- but it'll still be Minsk. Happy NewYear.(Walks off)少了你将不太一样…但明斯克还是明斯克新年快乐Phoebe: Are you alright? 你还好吧?David: Yeah, I'm fine, I'm fine. 没事,我没事,我没事(Phoebe leads David into a bedroom)Phoebe: You're going to Minsk. 你去明克斯吧David: No, I'm... not going to Minsk. 不,我不去了Phoebe: Oh, you are so going to Minsk. You belong in Minsk. You can't stay here just 'cause of me.你一定要去明斯克，你属于明斯克你不能因为我而留下来David: Yes I can. Because if I go it means I have to break up with you, and I can't break up with you.如果我走,就代表我必须与你分手，但我不能和你分手.Phoebe: Oh yes, yes, yes you can. Just say, um, 'Phoebe, my work is my life and that's what I have to do right now'. And I say 'your work?! Your work?! How can you say that?!'. And then you say, um, 'it's tearing me apart, but I have no choice. Can't you understand that?'. And I say (Hits him) 'no! No! I can't understand that!'.是的,你可以的，只用说,“菲比,我爱你, 但是工作是我的生命” “这是我必须做的.” 然后我说,“你的工作?你竟说出这种话?” 接着你说,“我没有选择. 难道你不了解吗?” 我说,“不!不!我不了解!”David: Uh, ow.Phoebe: Ooh, sorry. Um, and, and then you put your arms around me. And then you put your arms around me. (He does so) And, um, and then youtell me that you love me and you'll never forget me.对不起，然后你抱住我…然后你抱住我…然后你对我说你爱我，你永远不会忘记我David: I'll never forget you. 我永远不会忘记你Phoebe: And then you say that it's almost midnight and you have to go because you don't wanna start the new year with me if you can't finish it. (They kiss) I'm gonna miss you. You scientist guy.你又说现在已接近午夜,你必须走了。