小学英语幽默小故事五则
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幽默简短的英语小故事幽默简短的英语小故事(精选16篇)在平时阅读幽默又简短的一些英语小故事,是可以帮助提高我们的英语水平的。
一起来看看店铺为大家整理幽默简短的英语小故事,欢迎大家阅读!幽默简短的英语小故事篇1The Old Cat:An old woman had a cat. The cat was very old; she could not run quickly, and she could not bite, because she was so old. One day the old cat saw a mouse; she jumped and caught the mouse. But she could not bite it; so the mouse got out of her mouth and ran away, because the cat could not bite it.Then the old woman became very angry because the cat had not killed the mouse. She began to hit the cat. The cat said, "Do not hit your old servant. I have worked for you for many years, and I would work for you still, but I am too old. Do not be unkind to the old, but remember what good work the old did when they were young."幽默简短的英语小故事篇2Everybody dreams of doing something important. As a boy Raymond dreamed of being a scientist,infact, he is a postman now.Raymon d is an active young man. He livesby the saying“If you can't live the life you love, love the life you live”He greets everyone with a big smileand afriendly“Hi, howare you?”And he really wants to know! It's hardto feel unhappy when we hear him whistling happily up and down the street.幽默简短的英语小故事篇3Not long after my sister's wedding,one of my father's colleagues and his wife dropped in to see Mom and Dad.Theguests had not been invited to the wedding, so when the woman said,”I'm sorry I didn't get over to t he church the other day,”Mom assumed she meant the church's Good Cheer Club Tea and Bazaar."I'rn glad you didn't.”Mom replied.”You never saw such a mob scene!""I thought I'd like to see how everyone was dressed,"the guest said."What did you wear?""Just m y old navy print and my oxfords,“said Mom,"and a good thing,too,as we cleared almost a thousand dollars. ""Did you take a collection?"the woman gasped.“"Oh, no,“said Mom,"you know how it is,a lot of people come just to look and you don't make a thing out of them,so we decided to charge admission at the door.”At this point Dad realized signals were crossed,and he suggested to Mom that she explain that my sister's wedding had been neither a mob scene nor a profit-making venture.幽默简短的英语小故事篇4A big一city lawyer was representing the railroad in a lawsuit filed by an old rancher. The rancher's prize bull was missing from the section through which the railroad passed. The rancher claimed that the bull must have been hit by the train, and wanted o be paid the fair value of the bull.The case was scheduled to be tried before the justice of the peace in the back room of the general store. As soon as the rancher showed up, the attorney for the railroad pulled him aside and tried to get him to settle out of court. The lawyer did his best selling job, and finally the rancher agreed to take half of what he was asking. After the rancher had signed the release and took the check,the young lawyer couldn’t resist gloating a little over his success,telling the rancher, "You know, I hate to tell you this, oldman,but I put one over on you in there. I couldn’t have won the case. The engineer was asleep and the fireman was in the caboose when the train went through your ranch that morning. I didn’t have one witness to put on the stand. I bluffed you!”The old rancher replied,"Well,I’11 tell you,young Teller, I was a little worried about winning that case myself, because that darned bull came home this morning.”幽默简短的英语小故事篇5One day, Robin Hood went hunting alone in the forest. He had told his men that if he should fall into any danger and could not escape he would blow his horn so that they might know and come to help him. When he was crossing a river by a long bridge he met a huge man at the middle.And neither of the two would give way to the other. Robin Hood got angry and put an arrow to his bow and made ready to shoot. The stranger said it was unfair for Robin Hood to shoot a man who had only a staff in his hand. Hearing this Robin Hood lay down his bow and pulled up a small tree and returned to the stranger.幽默简短的英语小故事篇6A farmer is wondering how many sheep he has in his field, so he asks his sheepdog to count them. The dog runs into the field, counts them, and then runs back to his master."So," says the farmer. "How many sheep were there?""40," replies the dog."How can there be 40?" exclaims the farmer. "I only bought 38!""I know," says the dog. "But I rounded them up."幽默简短的英语小故事篇7Many years afterreceivingmygraduatedegree, I returned tothe State University of New York at Binghamton as afacultymember. One day in a crowdedelevator, someone remarked on itsinefficiency. I said the elevators had not changed in the 20 years since I began there as a student.When the door finally opened, I felt acompassionatepaton my back, and turned to see an elderly nun smiling at me. "You'll get that degree, dear," shewhispered. "Perseverance is a virtue." 幽默简短的英语小故事篇8A newly married woman was sitting on a chair, looking vexed, when her husband came home. "What's up? Why do you look so troubled?" the husband asked. The woman replied, "I'm so sorry.I was ironing your new suit andburned a hole in your trousers." And the man said, "That's all right. I have another pair that is exactly the same.""Thank God you do. I used it to mend this pair," the wife responded.幽默简短的英语小故事篇9A middle aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God, she asked if this was it. God said, "No you have another 43 years, 2 months, and 8 days to live." Upon recovery the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face lift, lip-suction, breast augmentation, tummy tuck, etc.She even had someone come in and change her hair color, figuring since she had so much more time to live, she might as well make the most of it. She got out of the hospital after the last operation and while crossing the street was killed by an ambulance speeding to the hospital. Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 40 Years? "God replied, "I didn't recognize you."幽默简短的英语小故事篇10The parents with their three-year-old son went to see film. When they walked into the cinema, the attendant said to them, “you’ll have to go out if your son cries. But we’ll refund you the tic kets.”About half an hour later, the husband asked his wife, “What do you think of the film?” “I’ve never seen such a boring film.” His wife answered. “It’s not worth seeing.” “I don’t think much of it, either.” The husband said. “Wake the child up and let him cry.”幽默简短的英语小故事篇11A hillbilly was visiting the big city for the first time. Entering an office building, he saw a pudgy older woman step into a small room. The doors closed, lights flashed, and after a while the door slid open and a beautiful young model stepped off the elevator.Blinking in amazement, the hillbilly drawled, "I should have brought my wife!"幽默简短的英语小故事篇12Mr. Johnson had never been up in an aerophane before , so one day when a friend offered to take him for a ride in his own small phane, Mr. Johnson was very worried about accepting. Finally, however, his friend persuaded him that it was very safe, and Mr. Johnson boarded the plane.His friend started the engine and began to taxi onto the runway of the airport. Mr. Johnson had heard that the most dangerous part of a flight were the take-off and the landing, so he was extremely frightened and closed his eyes.After a minute or two he opened them again, looked out of the window of the plane, and said to his friend, "Look at those people down there. They look as small as ants, don't they?""Those are ants," answered his friend. "We're still on the ground."幽默简短的英语小故事篇13A blind man was waiting to cross the road when his guide dog cocked its leg, then urinated on its owner. Calmly, the blind man reached into his pocket and took out a biscuit for the dog.A passerby who'd seen everything remarked: "That’s extremely tolerant of you, especially after what he just did.”"Not really,”came the reply. "I’m just finding out where his mouth is, so I can kick him in the nuts.”幽默简短的英语小故事篇14Oscar drove his brand new Mercedes to his favorite sporting goods store. He parked it outside and went in to do a little perusing with Jan, his regular sales woman. Jan was a pretty blonde, and as Oscar walked into the store, she happily greeted him. But he re- quested to look around alone today before he needed her help. She obliged and let him do his thing. Five minutes later, Jan came run- ping up to him yelling, "Oscar! Oscar!I just saw someone driving off wit h your new Mercedes!”"Dear God! Did you try to stop him?""No,”she said,"I did better than that! I got the license plate number”幽默简短的英语小故事篇15A famous game theorist, having won the Clark prize, was set to give aseries of lectures at prestigious universities throughout the northeast. For thetask, he hired a car and driver to take him from place to place . With nothing else to do, the driver would sit in on the highlytechnical lectures. After several lectures, the driver commented to theeconomist, "You know, I've heard your lecture so much that I think I coulddeliver it myself." Theeconomist found this idea intriguing and decided toswitch places with him at his next lecture.The driver gave the talk flawlessly. However, after the lecture, some onein the audience asked him a rather technical question that the driver had noidea how to even begin to answer. The driver considered it for a moment, andthen replied, "That question is so easy, even my driver can answer it."幽默简短的英语小故事篇16The miserly millionaire ca lled a family conference, “ I’m placing a box of money in the attic,” he said.” When I die, I intend to grab it on my way up to heaven. See to it that no one touches it until it’s my time too go.”The family respected his wishes. After his death, the milli onaire’s wife looked in the attic. The box was still there. “ THE FOOL!” she said. ”I told him he should have put it in the basement.”。
小学英语幽默小故事“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。
”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。
笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。
下面店铺为大家带来小学英语幽默小故事,欢迎大家阅读!小学英语幽默小故事1:1. The buddy said to Tom, "I hear that it's the safest sitting in the middle of the train. Once an accident occurs, both ends of the train get damaged worst."伙伴对汤姆说:“我听说坐在火车中间最安全。
一旦发生事故,火车两头遭到的破坏最大。
”"Idiot! Why won't they get rid of both ends of the train?"“白痴!他们为什么不去掉火车的两头呢?”小学英语幽默小故事2:"You'll be pleased with me today, mother," said Dick to his mother, coming home from school. "I saved on fares. I didn't go to schoolby bus but ran all the way after it."“妈妈,你今天会对我满意的,“放学回家后,迪克对妈妈说。
“我省下了车钱。
我上学时没有乘公共汽车,而是一路跟着公共汽车跑。
”"Well," said his mother laughing. "Next time you should run after a taxi, you'll save much more."“噢,”她的妈妈笑道。
儿童英文幽默小故事带翻译这个世界上有成千上万不可计数的英文故事,它们的风格多样,千变万化,诡异万千,有幽默类型的,有推理类型的也有灵异类型的。
今天为大家奉上儿童英文幽默小故事,时间难得,何不深入了解一下让自己的收获更多呢?儿童英文幽默小故事(一)It Must Be CrowdedA teacher is telling his students, “The moon is very large. Several millions people can live there.”And a boy laughs and says, “It must get crowded when it’s a crescent moon.”一定很拥挤一位告诉学生:“月亮非常大,上面能住几百人。
”一个男孩笑着说:“当月亮变成月牙的时候,住在上面的人该多拥挤啊!”儿童英文幽默小故事(二)I can’t Cook ItIt’s sunny day in spring. Miss Cat is fishing. Suddenly the fishing rod moves. “Great! Oh, it’s so heavy!” Miss Cat says happily.The fish is plucked out of the river. “Oh, a big fish! How big the fish is!” She cheers. But she puts the fish into the river and goes on fishing.At th e time Mr. House goes by and sees it. “What do you set it free?” He asks. “Because my pot is too small. I can’t cook it,” Miss Cat says.我没法煮它这是春天里一个阳光明媚的日子,猫小姐在河边钓鱼。
英语幽默笑话笑话一:一只鸟的英语水平有一只鸟飞到了一家语言学校的窗户上,看到窗户上写着:“免费学习英语,从零开始。
”于是,它翘起了尾巴,挺起了胸脯,然后大声地说道:“Polly wants a cracker!”(小鹦鹉想要个饼干!)这时,里面的老师听到了声音,走过来看窗户,发现了一只鸟。
老师开玩笑说:“你来这里学习英语吗?”鸟点点头。
老师继续说:“那你可以念一句英文的经典名言吗?”鸟听后想了一下,然后顺利地说道:“Early to bed, early to rise, makes abird healthy, wealthy, and wise!”(早睡早起使鸟健康、富有和聪明!)老师忍不住惊讶地说:“哇,你的英语真是棒极了!你是怎么学会的?”鸟笑着回答:“Well, actually I learned English from none other than Polly the Parrot!”(嗯,其实我是从鹦鹉波利那里学的英语!)笑话二:失踪的手机一天晚上,一位英国中学生在回家的路上,不小心将他的手机掉在了路上。
等他发现手机丢了,已经回到家了,于是他告诉他的爸爸发生了什么事情。
爸爸安慰他说:“别担心,我帮你打个电话,看看能不能找到手机。
”于是爸爸打了个电话,手机立刻就响了起来,但是声音却传来的十分奇怪。
爸爸听后说:“嗨,我是XX的爸爸。
你找到了我儿子的手机吗?”手机那头传来一个陌生的声音:“是的,我找到了。
你是他爸爸吗?”爸爸回答:“是的,我是他爸爸。
”手机那头的声音又问:“那你能告诉我他的厕所在哪里吗?我正躲在这儿接你的电话呢!”笑话三:英语课上的问题一天在英语课上,老师问学生们一个问题:“如果今天是过去的昨天,明天是过去的明天,那么今天是星期几?”结果所有的学生都陷入了沉思,似乎没有一个学生能够回答出这个问题。
就在这时,一个学生举手回答道:“老师,今天是星期二。
”老师听后很惊讶地问他:“为什么你认为今天是星期二?”学生回答:“因为我们是星期一上的英语课!”笑话四:一个有趣的对话一位美国人和一位英国人在一家酒吧里坐在一起,开始聊天。
关于英文笑话故事5篇_英语的笑话故事简短关于英文笑话故事5篇关于英文笑话故事篇一alieMom:"Whichbananadoyouwant,Victor"Victor:"Iwantthatoneofthegr eatet."Mom:"Victor,youhouldbepolite,tohavethatlittleone."Victor: "Mom,Imutlietobepolite"妈妈:“你要哪一只香蕉,维克多”维克多:“我要那只最大的。
”妈妈:“维克多,你应该懂礼貌,要那只小的。
”维克多:“妈妈,难道懂礼貌就必须说谎吗”关于英文笑话故事篇二TwoBird两只鸟Teacher:Herearetwobird,oneiawallow,theotheriparrow.Nowwhocantell uwhichiwhichStudent:IcannotpointoutbutIknowtheanwer.Teacher:Plea etellu.Student:Thewallowibeidetheparrowandtheparrowibeidethewall ow.老师:这儿有两只鸟,一只是麻雀。
谁能指出哪只是燕子,哪只是麻雀吗学生:我指不出,但我知道答案。
老师:请说说看。
学生:燕子旁边的就是麻雀,麻雀旁边的就是燕子。
关于英文笑话故事篇三WhoItheLaziet谁最懒Father:Well,Tom,Iakedtoyourteachertoday,andnowIwanttoakyouaqueti on.WhoithelazietperoninyourclaTom:Idon"tknow,father.Father:Oh,ye,youdo!Think!Whenotherboyandgirlaredoingandwriting,whoitinthecla andonlywatchehowotherpeopleworkTom:Ourteacher,father.父亲:哎,汤姆,今天我跟你们老师谈过,现在我想问你个问题。
英语幽默小故事五篇篇一:A Gentle ReminderHaving been married a long time, my husband sometimes needs a gentle reminder of a special occasion. On the morning of our 35th anniversary, we were sitting at the breakfast table when I hinted, "Honey, do you realize that we've been sitting in these same two seats for exactly 35 years?"Putting down the newspaper, he looked straight at me and said, "So, you want to switch seats?"篇二:Lucky MotherA young mother believed that it was very wrong to waste any food when there were so many hungry people in the world. One evening, she was giving her small daughterher tea before putting her to bed. First she gave her a slice of fresh brown bread and butter, but the child said that she did not want it like that. She asked for some jam on her bread as well.Her mother looked at her for a few seconds and then said, When I was a small girl like you, Lucy, I was always given either bread and butter, or bread and jam, but never bread with butter and jam.Lucy looked at her mother for a few moments with pity in her eyes and then said to her kindly, Aren't you pleased that you've come to live with us now?篇三:How to Become RichLittle brother: I saw you kiss my elder sister, and if you don't give me a nickel I'll tell my father.Sister's boyfriend: No, don't do that. Here's a nickel.Little brother: That makes a buck and a quarter I've made this month.篇四:I want a nightmareBefore the final examination, T om told his mother, "Mom, Ihad a dream last night that I'd passed today's exam.Don't trust dreams, dear. It is said what you experience in dreams usually turns out to be the opposite." Mother replied."Then I do hope I'll fail the other subjects in my dream tonight," Tom said.篇五:To Buy a VideoAmos asked his mother whether they could have a video.I’m afraid we can’t afford one, sighed his mother.But on the following day in came Amos, staggering beneath the weight of a brand-new video.How on earth did you pay for that? gasped his mother.Easy, Mum. replied Amos, I sold the television!。
幽默英语小故事16篇笑死人的在小学英语教学期间,英语小故事能够为学生的学习提供良好的背景。
幽默英语小故事有哪些呢?本文是店铺整理的幽默英语小故事16篇,欢迎阅读。
幽默英语小故事1.Be Careful What You Wish ForA couple had been married for 25 years and were celebrating their 60th birthdays, which fell on the same day.During the celebration a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple for all 25 years, she would give them one wish each.The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her hand, and Boom! She had the tickets in her hand.Next, it was the husband‘s turn. He paused for a moment, then said shyly, "Well, I‘d like to have a woman 30 years younger than me."The fairy picked up her wand, and Boom! He was ninety.慎重许愿一对结婚25周年的夫妻在庆祝他们六十岁的生日。
他们恰好在同一天出生。
庆祝活动中,一位仙女出现了。
她说,由于他们是已经结婚25年的恩爱夫妻,因此她给许给这对夫妻每个人一个愿望。
妻子想周游世界。
仙女招了招手。
“呯!”的一声,她的手中出现了一张票。
接下来该丈夫许愿了。
少儿英语幽默故事带中文翻译在少儿成长的岁月中,我们夜晚听着妈妈讲述英语睡前故事。
而现在,我们已经长大了一定的岁数,可以自己看一些英语故事了,可以是幽默,也可以是简短的。
今天为大家奉上少儿英语幽默故事,时间难得,何不深入了解一下让自己的收获更多呢?少儿英语幽默故事(一)Poor GeorgeGeorge is a little monkey. He lives in a deep forest. He likes jumping and climbing trees. He is happy every day. But he has a shortcoming. He is curious.One day an old man goes by the forest. He carries a lot of straw hats. George sees the man, and the man sees George, too. The man says to himself, “What a lovely monkey! I will catch him.I will take him home.”The man sits down and thinks over. George sees and also sits down. The man has an idea. He puts a hat on his head, and puts other hats on the ground. Then he pretends to sleep.Georg e is curious and looks at the hats. “I will be nice if I put a hat on my head.” George thinks. Then he climbs down from the tree, picks up a hat and puts it on. The hat is too big, and covers George’s eyes. George can’t see. And the man gets up at once, rushes out and catches him quickly.Poor George!可怜的乔治乔治是一只小猴子。
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经典英文小学生幽默笑话篇一:小学生英语幽默笑话12英语笑话小明上英文课时跟老师说:May I go to the toilet 老师说:Go ahead. 小明就坐了下来。
过了一会儿,小明又跟老师说:May I go to the toilet 老师说:Go ahead.小明又坐了下来。
他旁边的同学于是忍不住问:你不是跟老师说要上厕所吗?怎么不去?小明说:你没听老师说“去你个头”啊!英语笑话某日刘洪涛遇到外宾,上前搭话曰:I am HongTao Liu. 外宾曰:我还是方片七呢!英语笑话某人刻苦学习英语,终有小成。
一日上街不慎与一老外相撞,忙说:I am sorry. 老外应道:I am sorry too. 某人听后又道:I am sorry three. 老外不解,问:What are you sorry for 某人无奈,道:I am sorry five.英语笑话英语老师问一个学生,“How are you是什么意思” 学生想how是怎么,you 是你,于是回答“怎么是你?” 老师生气又问另一个同学:“How old are you 是什么意思?” 这个同学想了想说:“怎么老是你”英语笑话小明在学习英语时,总爱把英语单词的读音用汉字标注出来。
因此很产生了一个大笑话。
老师在教学问价钱一课时,问某商品多少钱时用“How much”,小明赶紧在这个词组下面用汉字标出了他的读音“好吗嘛”。
标完后还洋洋得意,觉得自己学会了。
一次,小明到商店买东西,老板是个老外。
小明想要一瓶可乐,说了半天老板听不懂,小明只好用手指到可乐,老板才把可乐拿给他。
等到付钱时,小明马上想到自己学的英语知识,高兴的说“好吃嘛?”,老板摇摇头,小明挠挠头,心想是不是记错了,又说“嘛好吃?”。
老板摇摇头,小明急了说道“吃好嘛?”。
老板摇摇头,小明情急之中冒出“好嘛吃”。
老板这才点点头。
小明惭愧的满脸通红,低着头抓耳挠腮地离开了商店。
Story 1 I Don’t Like Her
故事一我不喜欢她
Bob goes to a new school.
鲍勃去了所新学校。
One day he comes back, “Bob, do you like your new teacher?” his mother asks.一天,他回到家,他妈妈问他:“你喜欢你的新老师吗?”
“I don’t like her, Mother. Because first she says that three and three is six, and then she says that two and four is six, too.”
“不,我不喜欢她,妈妈。
因为她先说3加3等于6,然后她又说2加4等于6.”
Story 2 Ten Candies
故事二十块糖
Mother asks her son, “Jim, if you have ten candies, and you eat four, then how many candles do you have?”
妈妈问儿子:“吉姆,如果你有10块糖,吃了4块,那你还有几块糖?”
“Ten.” Jim says.
“10块。
”吉姆说。
“Then,” Mother asks.
“10块?”妈妈问。
“Yes, Mum. Four candles are in my stomach and six candies are out of my stomach. Four and six is ten, isn’t it right?”
“是的,妈妈。
因为4块在我的肚子里面,6块在肚子外面,4加6等于10,不对吗?”
Story 3 Count Tomorrow Morning
故事三明天早上数
It’s a right. John is looking at the sky.
这是一个晚上。
约翰抬头看着天空。
Tom is John’s younger brother. He asks John “What are you doing?”
汤姆是约翰的弟弟。
他问约翰:“你在干什么?”
John says, “I’m counting stars.”
约翰说:“我在数星星。
”
Tom laughs and says, “It’s really dark now. Why not count them tomorrow morning?”
汤姆笑着说:“现在天空太黑了。
你为什么不等到明天早上再数呢?”
Story 4 Are Flies Yummy?
故事四苍蝇好吃吗?
Tony and his father are eating dinner.
托尼正和他爸爸一起吃晚餐。
Suddenly Tony asks his father, “Dad, are flies yummy?”
突然,托尼问他的爸爸:“爸爸,苍蝇好吃吗?”
Dad frowns and says, “No, I think it’s yucky. Why do you ask me this question? It’s a silly question.”
爸爸皱眉说:“我想不好吃。
你怎么会问这个问题?这可是一个愚蠢的问题。
”
But Tony says, “ There was one fly in your plate.”
可是托尼说:“刚才你盘子里有一只苍蝇。
”
Story 5 A Good Boy
故事五好孩子
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents.
小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
"What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
“昨天给你的钱干什么了?”
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆,”他回答说。
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
“你真是个好孩子,”妈妈骄傲地说。
“再给你两分钱。
可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢?”
"She is the one who sells the candy."
“她是个卖糖果的。
”。