英语小笑话演讲稿对话

关于初中英语小笑话演讲初中英语演讲39;t eat your own sandeiches in here!"就走过去告诉他们：“你们不可以在这里吃你们自己的三明治!”The attorneys looked each other ,这两位律师彼此看了一下对方，shrugged their shoulders and then exchanged sandwiches.耸耸他们的肩膀，然后就交换三明治。

关于初中英语小笑话：Idiot Teacher白痴老师If there are any idiots in the room,will they please stand up?" said the sarcastic teacher .喜爱挖苦人的老师说：“如果在这间教室里面有白痴，就请站起来好吗?”。

After a long silence,one rreshman rose to his feet,沉默了很久之后，有一名新生就站起来了。

"Now then mister ,why do you consider yourself an idiot? "enquired the teacher with a sneer.老师就以讥笑的口气问他：“喂，先生，你为什么认为你自己是个白痴呀?”"Well ,actually I don't,"said the student ,"but I hate to see you standing up there all byyourself."这名学生说：“ 唉呀，实际上我才不认为我是个白痴呢，而是我很讨厌看着你一个人站在那里啦。

”看了“关于初中英语小笑话”的人还看了：1.初中英语小笑话三分钟2.初中英语短文演讲带翻译笑话3.初中英语小笑话4.初中英语课前三分钟笑话演讲稿5.关于初中英语小笑话大全。

-------------------------------------------------------精选财经经济类资料---------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 英语演讲稿笑话(精选多篇) two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. he doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. the other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. he gasps, “my friend is dead! what can i do?”. th e operator says “calm down. i can help. first, let’s make sure he’s dead.” there is a silence, then a shot is heard. back on the phone, the guy says “ok, now what?”简单翻译: 两个猎人在森林里打猎,突然甲倒下了并且看上去不再呼吸了,眼睛也变得呆滞. 乙赶紧拿起电话打给救护中心,上气-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 不接下气的说:”我的朋友死了,怎么办?.”服务人员说:”淡定,我有办法.首先,我们嘚确保他是死了.” 安静了一会儿,电话里响起了一阵枪声,电话那头乙说道:”好了,那接下来怎么办.”下面是被评选世界第二搞笑的笑话：sherlock holmes and dr watson were going camping. they pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. sometime in the middle of the night holmes woke wat son up and said: “watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you see.”watson replied: “i see millions and millions of stars.”holmes said: “and what do you deduce from that?”watson replied: “well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it ’s quite likely there are some planets like earth out there. and if -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- there are a few planets like earth out there, there might also be life.”and holmes said: “watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent.”简单翻译:甲乙一起去野营.他俩在星光下搭好帐篷然后睡去. 半夜的某时,甲叫醒乙:”抬头看看那些星星,然后告诉我你发现了什么”乙:”我看见好多好多的星星.”甲:”如此你能推断出什么结论?”乙回答道:”嗯假如天上有无数的恒星,而且其中一些有自己的行星,那么很有可能就会有像地球一样的星球存在.假如有像地球一样的星球存在,那里还可能存在生物.”甲无语:”你个sb.这说明有人偷了我们的帐篷.”英语笑话笑话一：a woman gets on a bus with her b aby. the bus driver says: “that’s the ugliest baby that i’ve ever seen. ugh!” the woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- down, fuming. she says to a man next to her: “the driver just insulted me!” the man says: “you go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, i’ll hold your monkey for you.”笑话二：sherlock holmes and dr watson were going camping. they pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. sometime in the middle of the night holmes woke watson up and said: “watson, look up at the sky, and tell me what you see.” watson replied: “i see millions and millions of stars.” holmes said: “and what do you deduce from that?” watson replied: “well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it ’s quite likely there are some planets like earth out there. and if there are a few planets like earth out there, there might also be life.” and holmes said: “watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent.”1.a boy swore to a girl: ‘honey, do -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- please marry me, otherwise i’ll die’the girl refused. sixty years later, the boy died. 一男生向一女生发誓：亲爱的，请你一定要嫁给我，不然我会死掉的女孩拒绝了。

2023英语讲小笑话,3篇（范例推荐）英语讲的小笑话1雇主和雇员Workman: “Mr. Brown, I should like to ask for a smallrise in my wages.I have just been married."Employer: "Very sorry, my dear man, but I can"t help you. For accidents which happen to our workmen outside the factory we are not responsible."工人：“布朗先生，我想请您给我加一点工资。

我刚刚结了婚。

”雇主：“非常抱歉，老兄，但是我无能为力。

对工人在厂外发生的`事故我们概不负责。

”英语讲的小笑话2第一次开出租车A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath1, and stopped centimetres from a shop window.The driver said, "Look mate, don"t ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!" The passenger apologized and said, "I didn"t realize that a little tap would scare you so much." The driver replied, "Sorry, it"s not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver. I"ve been drivinga funeral van for the last 25 years."乘客轻拍了一下出租车司机的肩膀，想问个问题。

初中英语课前三分钟笑话演讲稿笑话作为一种文学体裁名称在近代还不普遍,因而吴趼人提出的笑话小说具有非常高的文学史价值，他亲自创作的笑话小品中新意识和新趣味的加入,很有代表性。

下面小编整理了初中英语课前三分钟笑话，希望大家喜欢!初中英语课前三分钟笑话：Cute Harry:可爱的哈利It's was little Harry's first visit to the country,这是小哈利第一次停留在乡下，and feeding the chickens fascinated him.并且喂食吸引他目光的小鸡。

Late one evening he caught his first glimpse of peacock strutting in the yard,有一天晚上，他第一次看到孔雀在院子里神气十足地昂首阔步，feathers spread beautifully in all its glory.得意地将羽毛很优美地向外展开,Rushing indoors excitedly,Harry called out for his grandma.小哈利很兴裔地，向屋内冲，大声叫他的奶奶来看……"Oh,Granny,come see!Come see!" he exclaimed.他高声地叫说：“喔，奶奶，快来看!快来看!”"one of your chickens is in bloom!"“你们家有一只鸡开花罗!”初中英语课前三分钟笑话：Flowers花A new business was opening and one of the owner's friends wanted to send him flowers for the occasion.有一家公司开幕，老板的其中一位朋友为了这件太事要送他花。

They arrived at the new business site and the owner read the card,他们到达了新的公司地点，老板读了卡片的内容："Rest in Place."“安息吧”。

Ladies and Gentlemen,Good evening! It is my great pleasure to stand before you today and share with you a collection of English jokes that I believe will bring a smile to your faces and perhaps even a chuckle or two. As we all know, humor is a universal language that can bridge cultural gaps and bring people together. So, let's dive into the world of English jokes and have a laugh together!Joke 1: The English TeacherWhy did the student always get good grades in English?Because she knew how to "write" a check!(Explanation: In English, "write" is often used to refer to the act of writing something down, but it can also mean to check or to mark. The joke plays on the double meaning of the word "write".)Joke 2: The Dormitory RuleWhy did the dormitory rules change?Because they wanted to prevent students from "sleeping" in the library!(Explanation: This joke plays on the word "sleep", which can mean torest or to do something carelessly or inattentively, as in "sleeping through class".)Joke 3: The Language BarrierA foreign student was trying to learn English.He asked, "What does 'carry' mean?"The teacher replied, "It means to pick up and take with you."The student nodded, but later that day, he was seen walking down the street with a large, heavy package over his shoulder. The teacher walked up to him and asked, "Why are you carrying that?"The student replied, "I'm carrying it because I didn't understand what 'carry' means!"(Explanation: This joke highlights the challenges of learning a new language and the literal interpretation that can sometimes lead to confusion.)Joke 4: The Weather ForecastA weather forecaster said, "Today will be a sunny day with a chance of laughter!"The audience cheered, but later that day, it started to rain. A student asked, "Where's the laughter?"The weather forecaster replied, "I meant 'a chance of laughter', not 'a rain of laughter'!"(Explanation: This joke plays on the double meaning of the word "laugh", which can mean both to laugh out loud and to be laughing at something.)Joke 5: The English TestA student was taking an English test.The question was, "What is the difference between 'lead' and 'led'?"The student wrote, "Lead is the metal. Led is the past tense of lead."The teacher graded the paper and gave the student an F.The student asked, "Why did I get an F?"The teacher replied, "Because lead is not a verb, and led is not the past tense of lead!"(Explanation: This joke plays on the student's confusion about the use of the word "lead" as a verb and as a noun.)Joke 6: The English ProfessorAn English professor was teaching a class on poetry.He asked, "What is the difference between 'imply' and 'infer'?"A student raised her hand and said, "I know the answer, Professor! Imply is when you make a suggestion, and infer is when you make a guess!"The professor smiled and said, "That's correct! Now, can anyone tell me the difference between 'suggest' and 'guess'?"(Explanation: This joke plays on the student's attempt to use thecorrect words in the right context, but it also sets up a twist at the end.)Joke 7: The Grammar PoliceA grammar police officer was patrolling the campus.He stopped a student and said, "Excuse me, young lady, but I see that you are using 'your' instead of 'you're'."The student replied, "I know, officer, but I was just trying to keep up with the grammar trend."The officer looked at her and said, "Well, you can't just follow trends in grammar, young lady. You have to follow the rules!"(Explanation: This joke plays on the idea of following trends and the importance of adhering to grammatical rules.)ConclusionWell, there you have it, a selection of English jokes that I hope have brought some joy to your evening. Remember, humor is a great way to relieve stress and to connect with others. So, the next time you find yourself in a situation that calls for a smile, remember these jokes and share them with your friends and classmates. And if you have any funny stories or jokes of your own, feel free to share them with us as well!Thank you for listening, and I hope you all have a night filled with laughter and good cheer![Applause]。

英语笑话对话带翻译在交际场合,能恰到好处地讲个笑话或自创一个幽默,不仅可以体现自己的语言水平,还可以提升个人魅力。

店铺整理了英语笑话对话带翻译，欢迎阅读!英语笑话对话带翻译篇一A friend of mine was giving an English lesson to a class of adult who had recently come to live inthe United States. After placing quite a number of everyday objects on a table, he askedvarious members of the class to give him the ruler, the book, the pen and so on. The classwent very smoothly and the students seemed interested and serious about the work that theywere engaged in until when my friend turned to an Italian student and said, "Give me thekeys." The man looked surprised and somewhat at a loss. Seeing this, my friend thought thatthe student hadn't heard him clearly, so he repeated. "Give me the keys." The Italian shruggedhis shoulders. Then, he threw his arms around the teacher's neck and kissed him on bothcheeks.我的一位朋友在给一个成人学生班级上英语课。

英语笑话演讲稿Good morning, ladies and gentlemen. Today, I am going to share with you some funny English jokes to lighten up the atmosphere and bring a smile to your face.Let's start with a classic one:Why don't skeletons fight each other?They don't have the guts.This joke plays on the double meaning of "guts," which can refer to both courage and internal organs. It's a light-hearted way to start the day and get everyone in a good mood.Next, we have a punny joke:I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes.She gave me a hug.This joke uses the word "embrace" in a literal sense, but it also plays on the idea of accepting and learning from one's mistakes. It's a clever play on words that is sure to get a chuckle from the audience.Moving on, here's a witty one:Why don't scientists trust atoms?Because they make up everything.This joke is a play on the dual meaning of "make up," which can refer to both composing something and being dishonest. It's a clever twist that highlights the whimsical nature of scientific humor.Now, let's enjoy a light-hearted joke:What do you call an alligator in a vest?An investigator.This joke relies on the similarity in pronunciation between "investigator" and "alligator" to create a playful and unexpected punchline. It's a simple yet effective way to elicit laughter from the audience.Lastly, here's a playful joke for you:I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.This joke cleverly plays on the double meaning of "playing by ear," which can refer to both playing music without sheet music and using one's ears to listen and interpret sounds. It's a fun twist that showcases the playful side of language humor.I hope these jokes have brought a smile to your face and brightened your day. Remember, laughter is the best medicine, so don't be afraid to share a joke and spread some joy. Thank you for listening, and have a wonderful day!。

英文笑话演讲带翻译Title: A Funny Speech in English with Translation。

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Today, I want to share some funny jokes with you. I hope they can bring some laughter to your day.First, let me tell you a story. One day, a man went to a barber shop to get a haircut. After the haircut, the barber asked the man if he wanted some aftershave. The man replied, "No, thanks. My wife doesn't like the smell of alcohol." The barber then asked, "How about some hair tonic?" The man replied, "No, thanks. My wife doesn't like the smell of chemicals." The barber was puzzled and asked, "Then what does your wife like?" The man replied, "Shelikes money."笑话翻译，晚上好，女士们先生们。

今天，我想和大家分享一些有趣的笑话。

我希望它们能给您带来一些欢笑。

首先，让我给您讲一个故事。

一天，一个男人去理发店理发。

理完发后，理发师问男人是否需要一些须后水。

英语演讲稿笑话(精选多篇)第一篇：英语笑话two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. he doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. the other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. he gasps, "my friend is dead! what can i do?". the operator says "calm down. i can help. first, let's make sure he's dead." there is a silence, then a shot is heard. back on the phone, the guy says "ok, now what?"简单翻译:两个猎人在森林里打猎,突然甲倒下了.并且看上去不再呼吸了,眼睛也变得呆滞.乙赶紧拿起电话打给救护中心,上气不接下气的说:"我的朋友死了,怎么办?."服务人员说:"淡定,我有办法.首先,我们嘚确保他是死了." 安静了一会儿,电话里响起了一阵枪声,电话那头乙说道:"好了,那接下来怎么办."下面是被评选世界第二搞笑的笑话：sherlock holmes and dr watson were going camping. they pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. sometime in the middle of the night holmes woke watson up and s aid: “watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you see.”watson replied: “i see millions and millions of stars.”holmes said: “and what do you deduce from that?”watson replied: “well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it’s quite likely there are some planets like earth out there. and if there are a few planets like earth out there, there might also be life.”and holmes said: “watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent.”简单翻译:甲乙一起去野营.他俩在星光下搭好帐篷然后睡去. 半夜的某时,甲叫醒乙:"抬头看看那些星星,然后告诉我你发现了什么?"乙:"我看见好多好多的星星."甲:"如此你能推断出什么结论?"乙回答道:"嗯...假如天上有无数的恒星,而且其中一些有自己的行星,那么很有可能就会有像地球一样的星球存在.假如有像地球一样的星球存在,那里还可能存在生物."甲无语:"你个sb.这说明有人偷了我们的帐篷."第二篇：英语笑话英语笑话笑话一：a woman gets on a bus with her baby. the bus driver says: "that's the ugliest baby that i've ever seen. ugh!" the woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. she says to a man next to her: "the driver just insulted me!" the man says: "you go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, i'll hold your monkey for you."(某女士带着宝宝坐公交车。

幽默搞笑的英语演讲稿幽默搞笑的英语演讲稿范文（通用6篇）演讲稿是一种实用性比较强的文稿，是为演讲准备的书面材料。

在现在的社会生活中，演讲稿对我们的作用越来越大，那么你有了解过演讲稿吗？以下是小编收集整理的幽默搞笑的.英语演讲稿范文（通用6篇），希望能够帮助到大家。

幽默搞笑的英语演讲稿1Dear teachers and schoolmates:I’m very happy to give a lecture in English here today. The title of speech is I Love English. As everyone knows,English is very important today.It has been used everywhere in the world.It has become the most common language on Internet and for international trade. If we can speak English well,we will have more chance to succeed.Because more and more people have taken notice of it,the number of the people who go to learn English has increased at a high speed. But for myself,I learn English not only because of its importance and its usefulness,but also because of my love for it.When I learn English, I can feel a different way of thinking which gives me more room to touch the world.When I read English novels,I can feel the pleasure from the book which is different from reading the translation.When I speak English, I can feel the confident from my words.When I write English,I can see the beauty which is not the same as our Chinese… I love English,it gives me a colorful dream.I hope I can travel around the world one day. With my good English, I can make friends with many people from different contries.I can see many places of great intrests.I dream that I can go to London,because it is the birth place of English. I also want to use my good English to introduce our great places to the English spoken people,I hopethat they can love our country like us.I know, Rome was not built in a day. I believe that after continuous hard study, one day I can speak English very well. If you want to be loved, you should learn to love and be lovable. So I believe as I love English everyday , it will love me too. I am sure that I will realize my dream one day! Thank you!幽默搞笑的英语演讲稿2Good morning/afternoon!First thing first, I gotta say,wow,its funny thing to be given a chance like that.Trurh be told,I really got a little bit nervous before I stand right here ,so called stage fright.If you look specifically on me .You may find my hands shaking,pretty assembles the guy who suffered from Pakinsons disease,and legs wobbling ,like I caught so-called ball leg. Okay,lets stop going around the bush and get back to my topic today.I really like to talk a funny story I have just heard.A lady called Lucy emigrated to United States several years ago.Her spoken English is not that fluent .And one day,she is just sitting on the couch with his U.S friends Mandy watching Sit-Com.A noise of bump had the attention of Mandy,which led her to go out of the house trying to figure out what had happened.Can you imagine that Mandy go straight out with merely a sweater.So Lucy shouted at her,"Lucy ,turn your clothes on." What suprised her most,beyond her wildest imagination, is that almost all the male in this country took their head out of the window.Admittedly,Lucy made a mistake here .The word spitted means Mandy is totally naked to the reason that male looked out of the window.The right sentence shall be,"put your clothing on."The story inspires you to take a careful look on the vast difference between eastern and western culture.Thats full of it,thank you for your time!幽默搞笑的英语演讲稿3Good evening ,Ladies and Gentlemen:Thank you very much for choosing to come in such a cold night.Today my topic is about choice and process.A research shows that a man has to make 73 choices one day.With so many choices one day, people easily get so confused and afraid of making wrong choice that they hesitate and finally miss the true part of life. In my opinion, the following part is of much more importance than the choice. There is no absolute right or wrong choice but wonderful or boring life, which the process makes the difference.Life is a box of chocolate,you never know what you will get. Forrest Gump made no decision by and for himself but he accomplished great success with his strong will in the process. The process is not the road itself but the attitudes and feelings ,the caution, courage and persistance we have as we encounter new experience and unexpected obstacles. Take myself as an example, I changed my major when I became a postgraduate. After the choice,days have been harsh for me.I cannot understand the new lessons at all. For they are closely related to mathmatics which I learned nothing about before. However wuth the belief that this is the great chance for me to experience new ideas and challenge myself,I persisted. I asked for help from every channel and reorgonized my life. Gradually I could understand some parts and even found maths interesting.Moreover, I learned to act instead of complaining. In retrospect,the choice left no trace in my mind but the happiness and bitterness of the past four months becomes an unforgetable experience in my life.No matter what the choice is, enjoy the process. In the process, your potential will be inspired and new discoveries,improvement and progress will come to you. These are the most beautiful sceneries and only on the way can you see it.These make your life colorful.There is no need and I donnot want to judge whether it right or wrong for me to be here,but I congratulate to myself for I gain and enjoy this fantastic experience. So my dear friends,never worry about your choice and enjoy the process. I am sure you will get something new and intersting tonight after you chose to come here.Thank you!幽默搞笑的英语演讲稿4Mary was an English girl, but she lived in Rome. She was six years old. Last year her mother said to her, “You’re six years old now, Mary, and you’re going to begin going to a school here. You’re going to like it very much, because it’s a nice school.”“Is it an English school” Mary asked.” Yes, it is,” her mother said. Mary went to the school, and enjoyed her lessons. Her mother always took her to school in the morning and brought her home in the afternoon. Last Monday her mother went to the school at 4 o’clock, and Mary ran out of her class. “We’ve got a new girl in our class today, Mummy,” she said. “She’s six years old too, and she’s very nice, but she isn’t English. She’s German.” “Does she speak English” Mary’s mother asked.” No, but she laughs in English,” Mary said happily.幽默搞笑的英语演讲稿5Ladies and Gentlemen , Good afternoon! I68m very glad tostand here and give you a short speech. today my topic is “youth”. I hope you will like it , and found the importance in your youth so that more cherish it.First I want to ask you some questions: 1、Do you know what is youth? 2、 How do you master your youth?YouthYouth is not a time of life, it is a state of mind it is not rosy cheeks , red lips and supple knees, it is a matter of the emotions : it is the freshness it is the freshness of the deep springs of life .Youth means a temperamental predominance of courage over timidity of the appetite , for adventure over the love of ease. This often exists in a man of 60 more than a boy of 20 . Nobody grows old merely by a number of years . We grow old by deserting our ideals.Years wrinkle the skin , but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul . Worry , fear , self –distrust bows the heart and turns the spirit back to dust .Whether 60 of 16 , there is in every human being 67s heart the lure of wonders, the unfailing childlike appetite of what68s next and the joy of the game of living . In the center of your heart and my heart there68s a wireless station : so long as it receives messages of beauty , hope ,cheer, courage and power from men and from the infinite, so long as you are young .When the aerials are down , and your spirit is covered with snows of cynicism and the ice of pessimism, then you are grown old ,even at 20 , but as long as your aerials are up ,to catch waves of optimism , there is hope you may die young at 80.That68s all ! Thank you!幽默搞笑的英语演讲稿6Earn english not only because of its importance and itsusefulness,but also because of my love for it.when i learn english, i can feel a different way of thinking which gives me more room to touch the world.when i read english novels,i can feel the pleasure from the book which is different from reading the translation.when i speak english, i can feel the confident from my words.when i write english,i can see the beauty which is not the same as our chinese...I love english,it gives me a colorful dream.i hope i can travel around the world one day. with my good english, i can make friends with many people from different contries.i can see many places of great intrests.i dream that i can go to london,because it is the birth place of english.I also want to use my good english to introduce our great places to the english spoken people,i hope that they can love our country like us.I know, rome was not built in a day. i believe that after continuous hard study, one day i can speak english very well. if you want to be loved, you should learn to love and be lovable. so i believe as i love english everyday , it will love me too.I am sure that i will realize my dream one day!Thank you!。