生活大爆炸剧本5~6人

莱纳德看我的Hey, Leonard, check this out.莱纳德她又来了Leonard, she's doing it again.我觉得你调戏食物会让谢尔顿郁闷I think it upsets Sheldon when you play with the food. 不应该是她从碗里随便拿起食物No. It upsets Sheldon when she willy-nilly takes it而不顾还要平均分配的问题时from the containers without regard让谢尔顿很郁闷for its equitable distribution.这就是印度有饥荒的根本原因This is essentially why you have famine in India.你要我吐回去吗You want me to put it back?莱纳德Leonard.当你调戏谢尔顿时会让谢尔顿郁闷It upsets Sheldon when you play with the Sheldon.怎么样啊我亲爱的呆瓜们What's up, my nerdizzles?拉杰谢尔顿Raj, Sheldon,我想将我的女朋友伯纳黛特引见与你们I want you to meet my girlfriend Bernadette. 你好莱纳德佩妮Hello. Leonard, Penny,你们认识我的女友伯纳黛特的you know my girlfriend Bernadette.-嗯-嗨- Yeah. - Hey.伯纳黛特跟呆瓜们说绝对的Bernadette, say fo'shizzle to my nerdizzles. 我不能这么说I don't think I can.我没有霍华德那种街头痞子风I don't have Howard's street cred.我希望这没造成问题I hope it's all right--我跟我的女朋友伯纳黛特说I told my girlfriend Bernadette她可以跟我们共进晚餐she could join us for dinner.当然可以人多乐趣多Sure. The more, the merrier.不对这是个错误的对等关系Wa-- no, that's a false equivalency.人多不等于乐趣多More does not equal merry.如果这公寓里现在有两千人If there were 2,000 people in this apartment right now, 那我们会很开心吗不我们会窒息而死would we be celebrating? No, we'd be suffocating.-谢尔顿-别郁闷我- Sheldon... - Don't "Sheldon" me.我们定的是五人份不是六人We ordered for five people, not six.来不没事儿的Oh, come on, it's fine.我们全部摊在桌上分享就好就像家庭聚餐式的We'll just put it all on the table, you know, family style. 噢那是当我们家庭聚餐时Oh, sure. And while we're at it,为什么不把手背到背后why don't we put our hands behind our backs,来个老式的进食大赛呢have an old-fashioned eating contest?放轻松没事儿的Relax, it'll be fine.做吧你们Sit down, you guys.别别别No! No! No!怎么了What?!对了你不能坐那儿Oh, yeah, you can't sit there.为什么不能Why not?那是谢尔顿的专属座位That's where Sheldon sits.他不能坐其他地方吗He can't sit somewhere else?不不不你看啊在冬天呢No, no, no-- you see, in the winter,这个座位与暖气片的距离足够让他保持温暖that seat is close enough to the radiator so that he's warm,但又不会太近以至于出汗yet not so close that he sweats.而在夏天这个位置又正好处在In the summer, it's directly in the path of由这个和那个窗口之间对流所产生的微风之中a cross-breeze created by opening windows there and there. 这儿的角度并不是直接面朝电视It faces the television at an angle that isn't direct,所以他还能跟所有人交谈so he can still talk to everybody,同时又不会太偏导致画面失真yet not so wide that the picture looks distorted.看来你还是有那么点指望的嘛Perhaps there's hope for you after all.喔我喜欢你的鞋子Ooh, I love your shoes.谢谢Oh, thanks.很可爱不是吗They are cute, aren't they?-你在哪儿买到的-实惠鞋店- Where'd you get them? - Shoes for Less.我正有此意要去那儿I've been meaning to go over there. 东西很多价格也便宜Oh, great selection, great prices.我娘说的对确实有地狱My mother was right. Hell is real. 别这样谢尔顿Come on, Sheldon.让妇女们聊吧Let the womenfolk chat.妇女Womenfolk?少女Gals?妞儿Chicks?有子宫的美国人Utero-Americans?吃你的饭吧Just eat your dinner.别太跟他较真儿Don't take him too seriously.他说的很多话本是故意为了幽默一下的A lot of what he says is intended as humor.是啊但我一点也不觉得有趣Yeah, well, I don't think it's very funny.我也是但是我一笑他就灿烂了Me neither, but he just lights up when I laugh. 霍华德不能让她跑了Howard, never let her go.莱纳德霍华德说你正在进行So, Leonard, Howard says you're working on 一些量子力学的基本测试fundamental tests of quantum mechanics.没错I am.你对物理感兴趣吗Are you interested in physics?我觉得很很吸引人Oh, I find it fascinating.如果我没有选择微生物学的话If I hadn't gone into microbiology,我也许就会进军物理了I probably would have gone into physics.或者冰舞Or ice dancing.事实上我对于阿哈伦诺夫-博姆的Actually, my tests of the Aharonov-Bohm量子干涉效应实验已经到达了一个很有趣的阶段quantum interference effect have reached an interesting point. 现在我们正在测试基于电势的Right now, we're testing the phase shift相位偏移due to an electric potential.真是太棒了That's amazing.那是莱纳德的工作几乎就跟Yes. Leonard's work is nearly as amazing三年级小学生用湿毛巾种青豆一样棒as third graders growing lima beans in wet paper towels.虽然我很欣赏你的"喔又损人了"While I appreciate the "Oh, snap,"但你那温湿的口气飘进我的耳中令我很不舒服I'm uncomfortable having your moist breath in my ear.你会用Are you going to try穿隧结合来设定电压吗to set up the voltages using tunnel junctions? 是的Yes, I am.你要看我笔记本上的模拟情况吗You want to see a simulation on my laptop? 好啊给我看看Oh, yeah, show me.在微生物学中我做过的最激动人心的事情In microbiology, the most exciting thing也就是跟酵母玩玩I get to work with is yeast.霍华德Howard?怎么了Yeah?你的鞋子真漂亮Your shoes are delightful.你在哪儿买的Where did you get them?什么What?逗你玩儿我才不关心呢Bazinga. I don't care.哈吃灰吧你Ha! Eat my dust,万年不变的古板水管工racially stereotypical plumber.这不公平That's not fair.我被一棵树卡住了I got stuck behind a tree.外加一只母牛和企鹅And a cow and a penguin.认了吧兄弟Face it, dude,不管是现实的车还是虚拟的卡通车whether it's a real car or a virtual cartoon car,你都不能驾驭you can't drive.只需要点练习而已Just need a little more practice.你需要的是金手指驾驶技巧和一盏神灯What you need is cheat codes, motor skills and a magic genie来帮马里奥赛车小废柴实现愿望who grants wishes to little boys who suck at Mario Kart. 谢尔顿我能跟你说两句话吗Hey, Sheldon, can I talk to you for a second?这跟鞋没关系对吧It's not about shoes, is it?我不想再聊鞋子了I don't think I could go through that again.跟鞋子无关It's not about shoes.那就说吧Then speak.我们能私下谈吗Um, actually, can we do it in private?好吧All right.走开Go away.我知道很无礼但她要私下谈I agree, it's rude, but she asked for privacy.谢谢拉杰Thanks, Raj.事情是这样的Okay, so here's the thing:我想请你教我一点物理学I was wondering if you could maybe teach me a little physics? 一点物理学A little physics?没有这个说法There's no such thing.物理学包含整个宇宙Physics encompasses the entire universe,从量子粒子到超新星from quantum particles to supernovas,从自旋电子到旋转星系from spinning electrons to spinning galaxies.行Yeah, okay, cool.不用说得像广播特别报导一样I don't need the PBS special.只要了解到I just want to know enough能和莱纳德谈他的工作就行so I can talk to Leonard about his job.就像伯纳黛特那样You know, like Bernadette does.干嘛不叫莱纳德教你Why can't Leonard teach you?我想给他个惊喜'Cause I want to surprise him.就不能以其他方式给他惊喜吗Can't you surprise him in some other way?比如你要是打扫一下房间For example, I'm sure he'd be delightfully taken aback 我肯定他又惊又喜if you cleaned your apartment.拜托谢尔顿这对我很重要Come on, Sheldon, this is important to me.佩妮Penny,教你可是艰巨的任务this would be a massive undertaking,我的时间既有限又宝贵呢and my time is both limited and valuable.你整天都坐着玩电子游戏呢You're sitting here playing video games all day.被你说中了Okay, point.你学了哪些基础知识What sort of foundation do you have?学校教过什么科学课吗Did you take any science classes in school?有我做过青蛙的实验Sure. I did the one with the frogs.青蛙的实验The one with the frogs.对其实挺好玩的Yeah, actually, it was pretty cool.很多女生都吐了但我把小青蛙像鹿一样宰了A lot of the girls threw up, but I gutted that thing like a deer. 抱歉佩妮I'm sorry, Penny.恕我无能为力I don't think so.别这样嘛Oh, come on!你这么聪明就当挑战一下A smart guy like you, it'll be a challenge.当成实验来做嘛You can make it like an experiment.有意思Interesting.既然别人能教I suppose if someone could teach sign language KoKo大猩猩学手语to KoKo the gorilla...我也能教你基本物理学I could teach you some rudimentary physics.太好了Great!虽然有点侮辱人但很好It's a little insulting, but great.我就做KoKo吧I'll be KoKo.不见得吧Not likely.KoKo学会了超过两千个单词KoKo learned to understand over 2,000 words, 没有一个跟鞋子有关呢not one of which had anything to do with shoes.Hey, fellas.这是在下的女友伯纳黛特This is my girlfriend Bernadette.在下的女友伯纳黛特My girlfriend Bernadette.他们都是谁Who are all those people?不知道Have no idea.好啊莱纳德Hey, Leonard.好瞧瞧Hi. Hey, look,这不是霍华德的女友伯纳黛特嘛it's Howard and his girlfriend Bernadette.带这位小美人逛逛这老盐矿Thought I'd give the little woman a tour of the old salt mines. 他说的不是盐矿He doesn't mean salt mines.他说的是工作地点He means where he works.Yeah, no, I got it.你的实验进展如何So, how's your experiment going?很顺利Ah, terrific.我们正在准备电子加速器We're getting the electron accelerator set up. 后天就能准备好We should be ready to go day after tomorrow. 真想见识一下Boy, I'd love to see that.欢迎你来You're welcome to come.真的吗太好了Really? Oh, that'd be great.多兴奋啊How exciting is that?简直就像七月过光明节一样Like Hanukkah in July.七月有光明节吗Do they have that?No.又被你糊弄了You got me again.这不是脱脂酸奶This isn't non-fat yogurt.简直全是脂肪This is fatty fat fat.失陪一下Excuse me.心肝儿能帮我拿张餐巾吗Could you grab me another napkin, sweetie? -当然可以-谢谢宝贝- Sure. - Thanks, honey.说你打什么如意算盘All right, what is your deal?你说什么Excuse me?邀请我女朋友Inviting my girlfriend去看你的电子加速器to come see your electron accelerator?Yeah? So?你真有两下子You really are a piece of work.舞会皇后It's not enough被你弄到手还不满意you get the prom queen, you have to get你还想抢走陪衬头牌呢the head of the decorating committee, too? 你在说什么呢What are you talking about?别跟我装无辜Don't play innocent with me.用神奇实验设备勾引女人I practically invented这招是我发明的using fancy lab equipment to seduce women. 成功过吗Has it ever worked?目前没有重点不是这个Not so far, but that's not the point!霍华德别紧张Howard, relax.我对你女朋友没兴趣I'm not interested in your girlfriend.最好如此I hope not.你不会想跟我瞎搅和Because you don't want to mess with me. 我可是疯子I'm crazy.我相信你I believe you.实验日志第一篇Research journal, entry one.我准备开展I'm about to embark on one of科学生涯中的巨大挑战之一the great challenges of my scientific career: 教佩妮物理学teaching Penny physics.我称之为大猩猩工程I'm calling it Project Gorilla.好啊谢尔顿Hey, Sheldon.请进坐吧Come in. T ake a seat.实验目标已到Subject has arrived.我亲切地欢迎她I've extended a friendly casual greeting.准备好开始了吗Ready to get started?稍等One moment.目标气色很好也很热情Subject appears well-rested and enthusiastic. 显然无知是福Apparently, ignorance is bliss.好吧我们开始All right, let us begin.你的笔记本呢Where's your notebook?我没笔记本Um, I don't have one.那你咋记笔记How are you going to take notes without a notebook? 还得记笔记吗I have to take notes?不然你怎么考试How else are you gonna study for the tests?最好还要考试吗There's gonna be a test?可不止一次考试Test-sss.给Here.这是大学规定It's college-ruled.希望没吓着你I hope that's not too intimidating.多谢你的体贴Thank you.不客气You're welcome.现在开始讲物理学入门Now, Introduction to Physics.什么是物理What is physics?物理这个词来源于古希腊语中的"physika"Physics comes from the ancient Greek word "physika."你该记笔记了It's at this point that you'll want to start taking notes. "Physika"是指自然科学"Physika" means the science of natural things.而就在那遥远的古希腊我们的旅程开始了And it is there, in ancient Greece, that our story begins.-靠古希腊-嘘- Ancient Greece?! - Hush.有问题先举手If you have questions, raise your hand.那是在大约公元前600年的一个仲夏夜It's a warm summer evening, circa 600 BC.当你从集市[古希腊圣贤集会所]购物归来You've finished your shopping at the local market, or Agora... 抬头仰望夜空...And you look up at the night sky.突然你发现星星在游弋There you notice some of the stars seem to move,于是你将他们命名为"行星"或"漫游者"So you name them "planetes," or "wanderer".佩妮同学有问题吗Yes, Penny?这和莱纳德的研究有什么关系Um, does this have anything to do with Leonard's work? 这是一个历时2600年的旅程This is the beginning of a 2,600-year journey我们慢慢讲不急We're going to take together追溯到古希腊From the ancient Greeks从艾萨克·牛顿到尼尔斯·玻尔[原子理论和量子力学的创始人] Through Isaac Newton to Niels Bohr再到埃尔文·薛定谔[创立波动力学]To Erwin Schrodinger再到荷兰研究学派To the Dutch researchers莱纳德近来就在重复他们的研究呢That Leonard is currently ripping off.居然有2600年2,600 years?没错可能有些许误差Yeah, give or take.正如我之前所说在那遥远的古希腊As I was saying, it's a warm summer evening 一个氤氲的仲夏夜In ancient Greece...怎么了佩妮同学Yes, Penny?我要去洗手间I have to go to the bathroom.你就不能憋一下吗Can't you hold it?我可憋不了2600年Not for 2,600 years.大猩猩实验日志2Project Gorilla, entry two.我被榨干了I am exhausted.-霍华德-怎么- Howard? - Huh?这个要从前面解开的It unhooks in the front.难怪啊Oh, that explains a lot.霍华德我回来了Howard, I'm home!整栋楼都听到了Of course.老年健身取消了Senior fitness was cancelled.我发现原来还真会忘了怎么骑车It turns out you can forget how to ride a bike.我是没啥但山姆·哈普蒂安摔了个嘴啃泥I'm fine, but, oy, did Sam Harpootian eat gravel. 太棒了娘That's great, Ma!80多的亚美尼亚老人摔断了半边下巴What's great about an 80-year-old Armenian man 有什么可棒的With half his chin scraped off?!我想我得走了I guess I should go.不别动No, no, don't move.娘晚饭我想吃炖羊肉Hey, Ma, can I have lamb stew for dinner?炖羊肉那我还得去超市买Lamb stew? I'd have to go to the supermarket. 帮帮忙啦Please?我真的很想吃嘛I got a real hankering.噢我最疼我家小屁脸宝贝了Oh, I can't say no to my little tushy face.我很快回来I'll be back soon.多谢啦娘Thanks, Ma.你要家常豌豆还是拉素豌豆[豌豆的一种]Do you want the regular peas or the Le Seur? 平时不都是加拉素豌豆的吗Always Le Seur peas with lamb stew!好吧你总是说得有理You're right! When you're right, you're right! 如果拉素豌豆卖完了咋办What if they're out of the Le Seur?那就买家常的啊Then get the regular!好吧你别冲我吼啊All right! You don't have to yell!抱歉Sorry about that.我来调成震动Let me just put that on vibrate.我早就调好啦I'm already on vibrate.这个我可听懂了You know, that one I got.霍华德你和莱纳德说起我什么了吗Howard, did you say something to Leonard about me? 什么意思Uh, what do you mean?他说我要是明天去看他的实验He says if I go see his experiment tomorrow可能你会感觉不好It might weird you out.是吗他这样说吗Really? He said that?你不是在吃莱纳德的醋吧You're not jealous of Leonard, are you?我才没有呢Me? No.我只是说在没和别人商量的情况下I may have mentioned that it's a little inappropriate邀请别人的女友去看他的实验To be asking another man's girlfriend to his experiment这样有点不太合适Without first discussing it with said man.你的意思是我和莱纳德一起还要经过同意Are you saying I need to ask your permission to hang out with Leonard? 我可没这么说I didn't say anything like that.我是说莱纳德必须经过我同意I said Leonard has to ask my permission.拜托我可不想和我娘共进炖羊肉啊Come on, I don't want to eat lamb stew with my mother.可恶我差点就解开bra了Damn, I was this close on the bra.记住牛顿发现亚里士多德的理论是错的Now, remember, Newton realized that Aristotle was wrong运动不需要靠力来维持And force was not necessary to maintain motion.所以加上a = 9.8平方米每秒So let's plug in our 9.8 meters per second squared我们能得到As "A" and we get万有引力乘以质量Force-- Earth gravity- equals mass times 9.8 meters等于9.8米每秒的平方Per second per second.从而得到ma = mgSo we can see that "ma" equals "mg"我们可以推算出什么And what do we know from this?我们能推算出Uh, we know that...牛顿真是个聪明绝顶的小甜饼...Newton was a really smart cookie.哇所以才有了牛顿打滚吗[一种点心很像驴打滚]Oh! Is that where Fig Newtons come from?不牛顿打滚得名于马萨诸塞州的一个小镇No, Fig Newtons are named after a small town in Massachusetts.-别光顾着记这个啊-抱歉- Don't write that down! - Sorry.好如果ma = mg 我们可以推算出什么Now, if "ma" equals "mg," what does that imply?我不知道I don't know.你怎么可以不知道How can you not know?我都告诉你了啊I just told you.你最近脑子被敲过了吗Have you suffered a recent blow to the head?你这也太刻薄了吧Hey! You don't have to be so mean!抱歉I'm sorry.你最近脑子被敲过了吗Have you suffered a recent blow to the head?-你这个老师真是烂透了-是吗- No, you just suck at teaching. - Really?你觉得这两种解释哪个更靠谱点呢Of those two explanations, which one seems the most likely?天哪Oh, God...谢尔顿我也很想听懂Sheldon, I'm trying to understand,但你说得太快了but you're going too fast.能不能倒回去一点Can you just back up a little bit?好吧All right.在那个古希腊的仲夏夜It's a warm summer evening in ancient Greece... 别倒回那么多Not that far back!好吧Okay!你到底哪点开始听不懂的At what point did you begin to feel lost?我不知道I don't know.我们抬头仰望星空是在哪里Where were we looking up at the night sky?-希腊-见鬼- Greece. - Damn it!用不着灰心There's no need to get frustrated.总有人学得快有人学得慢People learn at different rates.不像漂浮在真空中的物体在那里Unlike objects falling in a vacuum, which...? ma=mg"ma" equals "mg"...?平方?Squared?不对No.亚里斯多德Aristotle?不对No.等于五Five?那我不知道了Then I don't know.你哭什么Why are you crying?我哭我自己蠢啊Because I'm stupid!那也没理由哭啊That's no reason to cry.人只有悲伤的时候才该哭One cries because one is sad.比如说其他人都太蠢我感到悲伤For example, I cry because others are stupid所以我才哭and it makes me sad.好了能不能先不扯这些题外话Okay, can we just please forget about all this extra stuff 就告诉我莱纳德平常在做的那些and can you just tell me what Leonard does?好吧All right.莱纳德正致力于研究出为何亚原子粒子Leonard is attempting to learn why sub-atomic particles 会像现在这样运动move the way they do.真的就这样Really? That's it?这听起来并不是很复杂嘛Well, that doesn't sound so complicated.是不复杂It's not.所以莱纳德才干这个That's why Leonard does it.我只有一个问题Okay, I just have one question.亚原子粒子到底是什么What exactly are sub-atomic particles?问得好A good question.谢谢Thank you.要回答这个问题我们首先必须自问And to answer it, we first must ask ourselves: 物理是什么"What is physics?"又绕回来了Oh, balls.在那个古希腊的仲夏夜It's a warm summer evening in ancient Greece...我有事要找你算账Okay, I got a bone to pick with you.这回我又怎么了What did I do now?我和伯纳黛特正要做爱做的事被你的短信搅了I was in bed with Bernadette, and you text-blocked me.什么What?!我们都脱光光了正要水乳交融的时候...We were completely naked, about to devour each other when,你发短信告诉她我对她跟你出来有意见you text her that I have a problem with her hanging out with you. 你确实对她跟我出来有意见You do have a problem with her hanging out with me.对但你不该对她说的Yeah, but that's not what you tell her.那我该跟她怎么说What was I supposed to tell her?我不知道说些别让我显得I don't know. Something that doesn't make me come off猥琐又吃醋的脑残的话as a petty, jealous douche.那该怎么说才好And what would that be?拜托我得帮你想好一切吗Come on, do I have to think of everything? 你好莱纳德Hey, Leonard.我来太晚了吗还能看实验不Am I too late to see the experiment?你来这干嘛What are you doing here?跟你一样Same thing you're doing here.来看莱纳德的实验I came to see Leonard's experiment.才怪No, you didn't.你说过莱纳德的实验很蠢You said Leonard's experiment was stupid. 你跟她说我的实验很蠢You told her my experiment was stupid?我只是复述谢尔顿的话I was just repeating what Sheldon said.我们别再转移话题了吧Let's not get off topic.伯纳黛特我得跟你道歉Bernadette, I need to apologize.我错了不该对你跟谁交友指手划脚的I was wrong to tell you who you should be friends with. 我该留你们俩独处吗Should I, um, leave you two alone?不用莱纳德你也该听听No, Leonard, you should hear this.好反正我也没想走Okay, good, 'cause I wasn't really gonna go.我知道我看上去自信满满老于世故但Look, I know I come off as confident and worldly, but... 其实我并不是这样的the truth is I'm not.好雷人We're shocked.所以我容易感到受到其他人的威胁Which is why I tend to feel threatened by other guys.或噪音或围观群众Or loud noises, clowns and nuns.但我已经知道这样做有多蠢But I now realize how foolish that is.他有次就因为头卡在毛衣里He had a panic attack once就恐慌了when he got his head stuck in a sweater.那可是件高领套头毛衣It was a full turtleneck.你为什么不帮帮我Why aren't you helping me?我不知道I don't know.也许因为我疯了Maybe because I'm... crazy?!伯纳黛特求你再给我一次机会吧Bernadette, please, I'm asking you to give me another chance. 你怎么想莱纳德What do you think, Leonard?我该再给他一次机会吗Should I give him another chance?你自己做主It's up to you.反正他也没说你的实验蠢He didn't call your experiment stupid.过来吧屁屁脸Come here, tushy face.屁屁脸"Tushy face."这话一定得立马推上微博That is going on Twitter right now.拉杰你真该去看看莱纳德的实验Raj, you should've seen Leonard's experiment. 电子束发射后产生的干涉图样The interference pattern was so cool实在太酷了when the electron beam was on.很高兴你喜欢Glad you enjoyed it.多数人对我的工作都不那么感兴趣Most people aren't that interested in what I do. 莱纳德其实你这么说不对Actually, that's not true, Leonard.事实上最近我一直在琢磨In fact, recently I've been thinking that考虑到你实验中的各项参数given the parameters of your experiment,通过你那纳米级装备的螺线管the transport of electrons through the aperture所进行的电子干涉实验of the nano-fabricated metal rings is qualitatively no different 跟荷兰已成功进行的实验没有任何不同than the experiment already conducted in the Netherlands. 他们通过螺线管干涉电子Their observed phase shift观测到的周相移动in the diffusing electrons inside the metal ring已成功地用电子模拟的形式证明了already conclusively demonstrated the electric analogue阿哈罗诺夫-玻姆的量子干涉效应of the Aharonov-Bohm quantum-interference effect.就这样我也就知道这些That's it. That's all I know.等等还有Oh, wait...!"牛顿打滚"是以马萨诸塞一城市命名的Fig Newtons were named after a town in Massachusetts, 而不是那科学家not the scientist.。

Big bangPart 1-Penny：Hi, guys.Looks like you've been to the renaissance fair... I'm hoping.You guys, this is my friend Eric.伙计们。

好像你们刚才去文艺复兴集会了…我希望是。

伙计们，这是我的朋友Eric。

-Leonard：So, yeah, good to see you.很高兴见到你。

-Penny：It's good to see you, too.We should probably go.Bye, guys.我也是。

我们应该走了。

大家再见。

-Man：I like your hat.我很喜欢你的帽子。

-Howard：Thanks, my mom made it.Penny with a new guy, tri-awkward.谢谢，是我妈做的。

Penny有了新男友，非常尴尬。

-Leonard：It wasn't awkward. It wasn't fun. Besides, what's the big deal? We dated, we stopped dating, and now we're both moving on.没什么尴尬的，不过也不算好玩。

再说了，有什么关系？我们约会过而现在已经不约会了，我们都有了新发展。

-Raj：By moving on, Do you mean she's going out with other men and you spent the afternoon making 15th-century soap with Wolowitz?你说的发展的意思是不是指当她和另外一个男人约会的时候，你却整个下午都在和Wolowitz做十五世纪的肥皂。

-Leonard：Can we please just go in? My chain mail's stuck in my underwear.我们快点进去好吗？我的锁子甲被夹在内裤里了。

Big Bang Theory Season 5 Episode 8（I）P: Bernadette, how goes the hunt for bridesmaid dresses?B: W ell, if you don’t mind looking like an orange traffic cone, great. A: Girlfriends, I have answer to our dress problems.B: Really?A: 12 years ago, my cousin Irene and her entire family died in a horrific carbon monoxide accident the night before her wedding. B: That’s horrible.A: Y es and no. All those bridesmaids dresses remain unused and available to us for free. So it seems that cloud of odorless deadly gas has a silver lining after all. Check it out, still in the bags. The gowns, not the bridesmaids.B: I don’t know. Dead people’s dresses.P: Y eah, and cap sleeve…A: Oh, I was hoping you wouldn’t notice. Irene was always a slave to a good bargain when it came to clothes, and sadly as it turned out, space heaters.S: Ladies, please. These four walls once housed an intellectual salon where the mind received nourishment as well as the stomach. But through no one’s fault, Penny, the quality of dinner conversation in this apartment has declined. And again, I’m looking at no one inparticular, Penny.L: Fine. What would you like to talk about, Sheldon?H: What would you like to talk about, Sheldon? Why do you hate us?S: I’ve prepared a number of topics that should appeal to both the advanced and novice conversationalists.P: Okay, that time you looked at me.A: Who didn’t? Y our skin is like alabaster. Do you even have pores? S: Topic one: “Faster-than light particles at CERN,paradigm-shifting discovery or another Swiss export as full of holes as their cheese?” And converse.P: All right, who wants to go to my apartment and look at bridal magazines?B: Oh, me.P: Through no one’s fault, Sheldon, we’re leaving.A: wait for moi.S: Y ou’re leaving?A: Sheldon, sometime you forget, I’m a lady. And with that, comes with an oestrogen fuel need to page through thick glossy magazines that make me hate my body.S: New topic: women. Delightful mysterious or bat-crap crazy? R: Totally. What’s wrong with cap sleeves? If you have the rightfigure for it, they’re adorable.L: Hey, Amy, what brings you to our neck of the woods?A: Y our neurology department loaned me a culture of prions for my research on bovine spongiform encephalopathy.S: She popped by to borrow a cup of mad cow disease.A: It’s hard to make degenerative brain maladies hilarious, and yet somehow you do it.H: That’s fun to have in a lunchroom.A: The real fun start when you get to pick the rat you’re going to feed it to, and maybe you choose the beady-eyed little mother who’s been biting you all week.H: Please, we are eating. Can we get that off the table and change the subject?S: Can we? Stand back…while I turn this conversation into a conver-sensation.”L: This time, it’s your fault.S: I have 100 alphabetized topics from :Artichoke-come on, people, it’s just a giant thistle,” to “Zzz-the onamona-poetry pf sleep.”L: Amy, how long would it take for that mad cow disease to kill me?”A: I don’t know, four or five years.L: No, it’s not gonna do it.H: Oy. Bernadette keeps texting me pictures of Penny in bridesmaid dresses.A: They’re out shopping right now?H: Y eah.A: Just the two of them?H: I Guess.A: That’s cool, that’s cool.H: Why are they asking me about this stuff? What guy knows what a sweetheart neckline is?L: Leonard’s coming down the home stretch! Come on, horsey, you can do this! Damn. Come on, thigh muscles, you can do this! Y es!First place.I would have been a great jockey if I weren’t too tall, and scared of horses. Sheldon, you’re up.S: what?L: come on, it’s your turn. W e said we’d get more fresh air.S: Sorry. I’m a little distracted. I can’t seem to get in touch with Amy.I tried e-mail, video chat, tweeting her, posting on her Facebookwall, texting her, nothing.L: Did you try calling her on the telephone?S: The telephone. Y ou know, leonard, in your own simple way, you may be the wisest of us all. V oice mail.Curiouser and curiouser. L: if you’re worried, we can go over there and see if she’s all right.S: Okay. Y ou know, I heard in the news a bobcat has been spotted in her neighborhood. I don’t think Amy was eaten by a bobcat. S: Who thinks Amy was eaten by a bobcat?L: Y ou do?S: Leonard, I was just mentioning an interesting local news item.Now, thanks to you, I’m worried Amy’been eaten by a bobcat. L: Forget about the bobcat.S: How can I? Y ou won’t stop talking about it!A: “Everybody hurts. Sometimes. Everybody cries.”S: She sounds weepy. I don’t like weepy. Let’s go.L: She’s your friend. Step up. Amy, Amy, Amy. Bye.S: Where are you going?L: I’m single, I don’t need this crap.A: Sheldon, what are you doing here?S: Y ou didn’t respond to any of my electronic communications. A: I wanted to be alone.S: W ould you like to talk about it?And keep in mind “No” is a perfect viable answer.A: Sheldon, my world is crumbling around me.S: Point of order, as you’re in distress, it would be customary for me to offer you a hot beverage. But I’m a guest in your home, so it would be customary for you to offer me a beverage. How do youwant to proceedvis-à-vis beverages?A: It doesn’t matter. Nothing matters.S: If you’d like to take your mind off what’s troubling you, uh, word on the street is a bobcat has been spotted.A: Penny and Bernadette went shopping for bridesmaids dresses without me.S: And that made you feel…sad?A: Y es.S: I knew it. Just keep going. I guess I’m good at this.A: it’s just, I thought they liked hanging out with me, but I guess I was fooling myself.S: when they were over here, did you offer them a beverage? CauseI can see how that could stick in someone’s craw.A: Sheldon, I’m going to ask you something, and I’d like you to keep an open mind, and I’d like you to keep an open mind.S: Always.A: At this moment, I find myself craving human intimacy and physical contact.S: Oh, boy. Y ou know ours is a relationship of the mind.A: Proposal. One wild night of torrid lovemaking that soothes my soul and inflames my loins.S: Counterproposal. I will gently stroke your head and repeat, “aw,who’s a good Amy””A: How about this? French kissing-seven minutes in heaven, culminating in second base.S: Neck massage…then you get me that beverage.A: W e cuddled. Final offer.S: V ery well. Oh, boy.A: I’m just saying, second base is right there.R: Mm, I’m thinking about adopting some quirky affectation like a pipe or a monocle or a handlebar mustache.L: For all those girls out there looking for the Indian Monopoly man?R: This is not a safe place. Y ou can’t share anything here.S: The two of you need to get your women in line!L: What?S: Last night I was strong-armed into an evening of harp music and spooning with an emotional Amy Farrah Fowler.This on anight that I had originally designated for solving thespace-time geometry in higher-spin gravity and building myLego Death Star.And why?Y our gal pals, Penny andBernadette, went out shopping for some wedding nonsensewithout Amy. An action they took with no thought or regardas to how it would affect me, the future of string theory or myLego fun time!H: What do you want us to do about it?S: Y ou clearly weren’t listening to my topic sentence: Get your women in line! Y ou make them apologize to Amy and setthings right. I am a man of science, not someone’s snugglebunny!L: Why do I have to talk to Penny? She’s not my girlfriend.S: Y ou invited her to lunch four years ago. Everything about her is on you; you make it so!L: Moo-shu is Penny.P: Thank you. Where’s Sheldon?L: He was up late last night, so I gave him an early dinner and put him to bed.B: That’s so sweet.L: Y eah, but he’s gonna be up at dawn and want to play.H: Listen, guys, the reason he was up late is because he was taking care of Amy. She’s kind of upset.P: Why?L: Her feelings go hurt because you guys went dress shopping without her.B: I told you that would happen.P: Okay, look, this is her first time being a bridesmaid.And she’s justgetting a little crazy with it.B: She keeps on telling us stories about bridesmaid tradition in other cultures, and they are all about getting naked and washing each other.P: Y eah, and she keeps trying to figure out if our cycles have synced up so we can call ourselves “The three menstra-teers”.B: W e thought it would be easier to look at dresses one time without her. I fellterriable.P: I know. Me too. W e’ll talk to her. Hey, wait, how did she find out? H: Raj did it. And he says he would do it again. Hey, I’m sorry. Y ou sent me the picture; I wasn’t thinking.B: Oh, Howie.H: W ell, hey, I’m usually pretty good at blabbing. Y ou tell me tons of stuff about these guys, and I never repeat it.P: What do you tell him?B: Oh, you know, just pillow talk. Y ou guys have nothing to worry about.L: Hold on, did you talk about us when we were dating?P: No. All your little secrets are fine.B: Y es, absolutely fine.H: I’ll tell you later.。

站住Hold.干嘛What?解释你为什么打喷嚏Explain your sneeze.什么I'm sorry?-你有过敏症吗-没有- Do you have allergies? - No.你在沙拉上放太多胡椒粉了吗Is there too much pepper on your salad?我没在沙拉上加胡椒粉I don't put pepper on salads.够了坐那边去I've heard enough. Sit over there.别这样我不想一个人坐Oh,come on.I don't want to sit by myself.[美国伤寒带菌者]当年伤寒玛丽也这么说That's what Typhoid Mary said,显然她朋友让步了所以都病了And clearly,her friends buckled.伙计们帮帮我Guys,help me.谢尔顿别这样Sheldon,come on.不就是一个喷嚏嘛Yeah,it's just one sneeze.-自个坐去吧-再见兄弟- You're on your own. - See you,buddy.莱纳德我有东西给你看Oh,Leonard,I have something for you.根据室友协议Per our roommate agreement,this is这是提前24小时通知Your 24-hour notice that I will be having我有一位无血缘关系的女性要在咱家住两晚A non-related female spending two nights in our apartment. 你说的无血缘关系的女性When you say "non-related female,"应该指人类吧You still mean human,right?当然Of course.室友协议规定不许有宠物Pets are banned under the roommate agreement,除了服务性动物比如导盲犬With the exception of service animals,such as seeing eye dogs 及将来出现的机械装备强化的猴子帮工And,one day,cybernetically-enhanced helper monkeys.你打算绑架一个女人吗Are you planning on kidnapping a woman?讽刺吗Sarcasm?对但也包含真诚的关心Yes,but mixed with genuine concern.告诉你们我将接待For your information,I'll be playing host伊丽莎白·普林顿博士To Dr. Elizabeth Plimpton.普林斯顿大学的宇宙物理学家The cosmological physicist from Princeton?没错Yes.另外你没戴口罩前And until you acquire a surgical mask,请先用餐巾捂嘴再发表言论Please address your comments to me through a napkin.我们通信交流了好几年We've been corresponding for years about共同感兴趣的Our mutual interest in早期宇宙中膨胀子的引力波特性Gravitational wave signatures of inflatons in the early universe. 她现在考虑And now she's under consideration来我们大学工作For a position at our university.你怎么没说过你认识伊丽莎白·普林顿Why didn't you tell me you knew Elizabeth Plimpton?我可是她的铁粉I am a huge fan of hers!我不知道我有义务分享I didn't realize I was obligated to share my connection我跟你喜欢的事物的联系好吧With things you're a fan of,but very well.你喜欢吃加拿大熏肉You enjoy Canadian bacon.我去过多伦多I've been to Toronto.行Okay,fine.那她睡哪里Where is she going to sleep?当然睡我房间My room,of course.我靠Holy crap!我靠Holy crap!我有个两部分的问题Yeah,um,I have a two-part question.请说Go ahead.第一你在开玩笑吗A: Are you kidding me?第二你丫的开玩笑吧And B: Seriously,are you freaking kidding me? 第一我很少开玩笑A: I rarely kid.第二我开玩笑时你会听到And B: When I do kid,you will know it我用"逗你玩"这个词By my use of the word "bazinga."这么说你们俩So you're saying the two of you要睡在同一张床上Are going to be sleeping in the same bed?对Yes.逗你玩Bazinga.莱纳德Leonard?谢了Thank you.为什么一位世界知名的科学家Why is a world-renowned scientist选择住我们家而不住酒店Staying in our apartment instead of a hotel?她不喜欢住酒店Well,she doesn't care for hotels.这也不能怪她And who can blame her?打不开的窗户Windows that don't open,N个人用过的床单Multi-user linens,卡式的钥匙好像谁的钱包Keys shaped like credit cards-- as if one walks around 都有空的卡槽似的With unassigned slots in one's wallet.好了所剩时间All right,I believe I have time只够回答一个问题For one more question.说吧拉杰Yes,Raj?我什么时候能坐回你们旁边When can I sit with you again?等我看到连续两次相隔12小时When I've seen Two consecutive negative throat cultures 咽拭子检测呈阴性你知道怎么做Spaced 12 hours apart. You know the drill.好了All right,诸位失陪了我要去进行If you'll excuse me,I am off to start预防性抗生素治疗A prophylactic course of antibiotics.不敢相信他居然是伊丽莎白·普林顿的朋友I can't believe he's friends with elizabeth plimpton.不敢相信他们居然让他进加拿大I can't believe they let him into canada.喂你刚刚没听到吗Whoa,whoa,whoa. You heard the man.你的咽拭子检测结果呢Where's your throat cultures?开玩笑坐吧Kidding. Sit down.谢尔顿Hey,Sheldon.佩妮正好Oh,Penny,excellent.我对加长型卫生棉有个疑问I have a question about these maxi pads.这个护翼真的有用吗Are the wings truly functional还是我沦为广告宣传的受害者了Or have I fallen victim to marketing hype?什么What?你干嘛买...什么Why are you doing with-- what?沃格林的男售货员The stock boy at Walgreens根本没给我提供什么信息Was frustratingly uninformed on the subject.谢尔顿你买卫生棉干嘛Sheldon,what are you doing with maxi pads?我有个女性朋友I have a lady friend要在我这里住几天Who will be staying with me for a few days.什么What?我想让她宾至如归I want her to feel at home.我还买了香皂裤袜痛经药I also bought scented soaps,pantyhose,midol,咀嚼钙还有这种酸奶Calcium chews and what is apparently a yogurt专门调节女性肠道的Specifically designed to regulate the female bowel. 等等前面一句Wait,wait,hold on,back up.有个女人要跟你住在一起You're having a woman stay with you?对Yes.怎么每个人听到都大吃一惊Why does that seem to flabbergast everybody?不不是Oh... no,no,no,no.我不是吃惊I'm not flabbergasted.我是...疑惑I'm... puzzled.就是疑惑Yeah,let's go with puzzled.友情提示A word of warning.这位客人是著名物理学家My guest is a noted physicist量子宇宙论的权威专家And the leading expert on quantum cosmology,请不要跟她聊女性无聊话题So please try to avoid wasting her time浪费她的时间With female jibber jabber.什么叫女性无聊话题Female jibber jabber?鞋子特价发型泥面膜Shoe sales,hair styles,还有你朋友布莱德和安吉丽娜的八卦Mud masks,gossip about your friends Brad and Angelina.他们不是我的朋友Oh,they're not my friends.我知道鉴于你在背后I'm not surprised,considering the way说了他们那么多坏话You talk about them behind their backs.她来了她来了She's here,she's here.我看上去怎么样聪明吗How do I look? Do I look smart?老天爷Oh,good grief.这又不是你的事This isn't about you.来了Coming!听好Now,listen.21世纪最杰出的头脑之一One of the great minds of the 21st century将以东道的身份迎接另一位杰出头脑is about to play host to one of the other great minds of the 21st century. 你要仔细看着So pay attention.没准儿多年以后Years from now,我的传记作者问起你这个伟大时刻my biographer might ask you about this event.我有太多话想跟你的传记作者说Oh,I have so many things to tell your biographer.库珀博士谢天谢地Dr. Cooper,thank goodness.我完全不记得你的地址I completely forgot your address.还好我还记得写在了手上But then I remembered that I'd written it on my hand.幸好Lucky for me,我没记成另外一只手I didn't confuse it with what I'd written on my other hand,那只写的是一颗最新发现的中子星的坐标which are the coordinates for a newly discovered neutron star. 因为想去那儿的话我会被超重力压碎的'cause if I tried to go there,I'd be crushed by hypergravity.-不说这些了你好啊-你好- Anyway,hello. - Hello.很高兴能见到你的本尊哦Nice to finally meet you in person.我猜也是I would imagine it is.这位是我朋友兼室友莱纳德·霍夫斯塔德博士This is my friend and roommate,Dr. Leonard Hofstadter.你嗨Hi-lo.我我本来想说"你好"I-I started to say "hi,"中途又想说"嗨"and then I switched to "hello" in the middle.结果就成了"你嗨"It came out "hi-lo."咄[表示轻蔑]Duh.很高兴见到你Uh,it's nice to meet you.我拜读过你的书和许多论文I-I've read both your books and most of your papers.我叫莱纳德就住这儿你太有才了I-I'm Leonard,I live here,you're brilliant.真不好意思I apologize.他只是个搞实验物理的He's only an experimental physicist.没关系No need to apologize.我有几个好朋友也是搞实验的Some of my best friends are experimental physicists. 其实也不算好朋友就是认识而已Well,not my best friends,but I know them.我最要好的朋友My best friend is是一位名叫温迪的分子化学家a molecular chemist named Wendy.真不好意思我话太多了I'm sorry,I'm rambling.你嗨Hi-lo.你饿吗渴吗Are you hungry,thirsty?我来招待你吧Can I offer you anything?不用了她是我的客人No,she's my guest.要招待她的话也该由我来吧If anyone should offer her anything,it should be me. 伊丽莎白我能为你效劳吗Elizabeth,can I get you something?你想要女性卫生用品Perhaps a feminine hygiene product还是调节肠道的酸奶or a bowel-regulating yogurt?这俩选项都很有意思嘛Interesting choices.考虑到我现在的需求还是酸奶吧Based on my current needs,I guess I'd pick the yogurt. 好极了Excellent.要是这酸奶起作用的话If the yogurt works,我还买了些香薰蜡烛I bought some delightful scented candles.这是你耶Look,it's you.非常感谢你们让我住在这里Thank you so much for opening up your home to me. 谁愿意住宾馆啊Well,who wants to stay in a hotel?窗户又打不开诡异的卡片式钥匙Windows that don't open,those crazy card-shaped keys. 知音啊我太高兴了I'm so glad you understand.不对他不是你的知音No,he doesn't understand.我才是I understand.我也是啊Well,I understand,too.你剽窃了我的想法You're just misappropriating my understanding.我觉得任何一所大学都想要你I think any university would want you.当然除了那些Except,of course,已经接纳你的大学any university that had already had you.因为他们已经在接纳你之前Because they would've already wanted you已经想要你了before they,you know,got you.这就是跟你说"你嗨"的那位From the mind that brought you "hi-lo."我带你去房间看看吧Let me show you to your room.好啊All right.我也觉得我困了晚安莱纳德I guess I am tired. Good night,Leonard.好安Uh,sleep night.我想说晚安I mean,obviously,good night.我本来想说"好梦"I started to say "sleep tight,"然后我又中途改了主意then I changed my mind in the middle.我对天发誓我很聪明的I swear to god,I'm smart.话说清楚点伙计Get it together,man.好的给你展示一下All right,let me show you这个房间里的一些功能吧some of the features of the room.首先窗户First,windows.很常见Conventional.打开关上Open,closed.打开关上Open,closed.开一半Halfway open.或者说关一半这取决于你的哲学取向Or halfway closed,depending on your philosophical bent. 这里是我的漫画收藏Over here is my comic book collection.可以随意浏览Feel free to browse.这里有一盒阅读专用的一次性手套There's a box of disposable reading gloves就在床头柜上on the night stand.很好Good to know.在这里In here,you'll find你可以找到应急储备emergency provisions.足够八天的食物和水一把弩An eight-day supply of food and water,a crossbow,一个高密度优盘里面有Season 2 of Star Trek the original series原版的《星际迷航》第二季on a high-density flash drive.那要是所有的USB接口都在What if there's a disaster灾难中坏掉了呢that destroys all the USB ports?那就真的没法儿活了不是吗Then there's really no reason to live,is there?我能问个关于你室友的问题吗Can I ask a question about your roommate?他是个蠢货对吧He's an odd duck,isn't he?他的情感生活是个什么状态What's his relationship status?他跟住在走廊对面的那个女服务员Well,there was a misbegotten adventure有过一段奸情With a waitress who lives across the hall.莫名其妙开始又莫名其妙结束It ended as inexplicably as it began.他俩没有什么共同点They had very little in common,除了床笫之欢except for carnal activity.这就是为什么That's why I acquired我准备了这副隔音耳麦these noise-canceling headphones.如果你打算用它的话If you decide to use them,请记得戴完之后用湿巾把耳罩擦干净please clean the ear pieces afterwards湿巾就在卫生间里with the wet wipes you'll find in the bathroom.有个贴着"湿巾"标签的抽屉They're in the drawer labeled "wet wipes."行Okay.很好那就不打扰你晚上梳洗时间了Good. I'll leave you to your nighttime ablutions.早上卫生间的使用时间表已经发你邮箱I've e-mailed you the morning bathroom schedule.欢迎礼包里还有一份塑封过的版本You'll also find a laminated copy in your welcome packet. 就印在紧急逃生线路图的背面It's on the back of the emergency escape route diagram. 真体贴How thoughtful.-睡个好觉朋友-你也是- Sleep well,my friend. - You,too.让我再拿一样东西Oh,let me just get one thing.这是我的备用应急储备包It's my backup emergency supply kit.客厅的紧急逃生路线不经过这边The living room escape route doesn't pass through here. 晚安Now,good night.如果世界末日降临的话祝你好运And if there's an apocalypse,good luck.请进Yes?我看见你的灯还亮着I saw your light on.你没事吧Is everything all right?没事我就是睡不着Yeah,I just couldn't sleep.我也睡不着Me neither.你看我在读什么Oh,look what I'm reading.你的书哦It's you.你不是读过了吗I thought you already read it.是读过不过有一阵子了I did,but it's been a while,我想在早餐时表现得聪明点And I wanted to sound smart over breakfast.你很聪明了Aw,you're smart.是吗太好了Oh,good.我还担心你没看出来Wasn't sure it was coming across.在读第几章What chapter are you on?第六章Uh,six.银河系外距离等级Oh,the extragalactic distance ladder.想知道一个小秘密吗Want to know a little secret?当然Sure.威尔逊-巴普效应那一节I wrote the section on the Wilson-Bappu effect我是全裸着写的completely naked.真的吗Really?读起来可不像Uh,sure doesn't read that way.我来给你演示Here,let me show you.考虑到脉动变星的亮度变化When we consider the brightness of pulsating variable stars, 这可能就是we start to see a possible explanation哈勃常数出现数值分歧的原因之一for some of the discrepancies found in Hubble's constant.你的科学真是活色生香You really make science come alive.语音测试清晨语音测试V ocal test. Morning vocal test.第二次语音测试Second vocal test.第二次清晨语音测试Second morning vocal test.谢尔顿早Morning,Sheldon.早Morning.谢尔顿早Morning,Sheldon.早Morning.昨晚过得愉快吗I trust you had a pleasant night.不是一般愉快More than pleasant.失陪一下我要去方便Excuse me,I'm going to relieve myself.喝什么咖啡How do you take your coffee?-清咖啡-好滴- Black. - Okeydoke.为休斯顿而尿为奥斯丁而尿Pee for Houston,pee for Austin,为我深爱的州而尿pee for the state my heart got lost in.再为德州抖两抖And shake twice for Texas.他妈妈教他的Something his mother taught him.好了伊丽莎白All right,Elizabeth,轮到你用卫生间了the bathroom is yours.坐垫我放下了为保护你健康还消了毒The seat is down,and has been sanitized for your protection. 你真细心不过我想先喝完咖啡That's very thoughtful,but I think I'll finish my coffee first. 看来酸奶是没起作用Ah,so the yogurt didn't work.我要火速去给生产商写邮件指责他们I'll fire off a critical e-mail to the manufacturer.太好了你们都起了Oh,good,you're up.我的车发动不了Look,my car won't start.需要有人送我上班I need a ride to work.又对检查引擎灯置之不理了Did you once again ignore your "check engine" light?不是大明白先生No,Mr. Smarty-pants.我这次没理加油提示灯I ignored the "fill gas tank" light.莱纳德佩妮来查探下Leonard,Penny wants to exploit any你是否对她余情未了residual feelings you have for her以达到搭车上班的目的in order to get a ride to work.好当然等我把咖啡倒旅行杯里Oh,yeah,sure,let me just put this in a travel mug.你好Hello.嗨Hi.佩妮这位是普林顿博士Oh,Penny,this is Dr. Plimpton...量子宇宙论权威专家A leading expert on quantum cosmology.普林顿博士这是佩妮Dr. Plimpton,Penny is a waitress一名不理解内燃机需要who doesn't understand the role gasoline plays汽油做燃料的服务生in the internal combustion engine.很高兴见到你Nice to meet you.很高兴见到你Nice to meet you,too.在这住得好吗Are you enjoying your stay?是的非常好Yes,very much.那就好Good.太棒了无意义的客套话交流完毕Wonderful. Meaningless pleasantries accomplished. 伊丽莎白莱纳德如厕时间就要到了Elizabeth,Leonard's bathroom time is coming up, 相信我在他后面去可不是好事and believe me,you do not want to follow him.失陪了Excuse me.好吧我看我得去换衣服了Okay,well,I guess I should get dressed好送大家去上班so I can take everyone to work.你谢尔顿You and Sheldon还有谢尔顿的朋友and Sheldon's friend,普林顿博士你刚见过的Dr. Plimpton,who you just met.肯定会有趣Gonna be fun.就像玩具车Like a clown car.等等Hang on. Hmm?哦什么事Yeah? What? Huh?我们刚刚分手We just broke up.什么... 你我吗是哈Wha... uh,you and me? Yeah,we did.不久之前Not too long ago.你适应得如何How are you doing with it?明显没你适应得好Not as good as you apparently.我什么没明白I,um,I don't follow.知道吗这不不关我的事You know what? It's,it's none of my business.我们刚刚分手If you want to sleep with Sheldon's doctor buddy你就想和谢尔顿的博士朋友上床那就去吧right after we stopped seeing each other,go for it.打扰一下Excuse me.我对你提议莱纳德I'm uncomfortable with you recommending争取与普林顿博士性交感到不安that Leonard pursue having intercourse with Dr. Plimpton, 她可还有更重要的事要忙who I assure you has better things to do.我不是提议I'm not recommending it.他已经那样做了I'm saying it already happened.这太荒谬了That's preposterous.是吧莱纳德Tell her,Leonard.那个...Well...不是吧No.拜托不是我的错Come on. It wasn't my fault.莫非你是想说你不小心绊倒The implication being that you somehow tripped正好摔她身上了and fell into her lady parts?算了You know what?我还是坐公车上班吧I'm just gonna take the bus to work.佩妮让我开车送你吧Penny,I can still drive you.算了不必了Oh,no,no,it's okay.我怕你踩到香蕉皮You might slip on a banana peel然后把我搞怀孕了and get me pregnant.我必须要说你的背叛真令我震惊I must say,i'm shocked by this betrayal.我没有背叛佩妮I didn't betray Penny.不是佩妮是我Not Penny,me!我怎么背叛到你了How am I betraying you?伊丽莎白是我的朋友你却跟她玩Elizabeth's my friend,and you're playing with her!好吧确实玩了Yeah,I guess I did.你这是干什么呢What the hell are you doing?[奈奎尔: 一种夜间使用的感冒药]别紧张这是奈奎尔Relax,it's NyQuil.你感冒还没好You still have a cold?或许吧可我不在乎Maybe,but I don't care.这就是奈奎尔的妙处里面有10%的酒That's the great thing about NyQuil,it's like ten-percent booze. 我叫它一夜鼻涕喷嚏咳嗽不断I call it the nighttime sniffling,sneezing,coughing但能让你跟女孩讲话的神药so you can talk to girls medicine.你晚上睡不着吗Are you having trouble sleeping?要知道我可是一夜没睡啊'cause,boy,I was up all night.你也感冒了吗Did you get a cold,too?不但我整夜都没睡哟No,but I was awake all night.想吃药的话If you want,我可以给你些我妈的安眠药I can give you some of my mom's sleeping pills.要是少了她不会发现吗She won't notice they're missing?她都没发现自己在吃安眠药She doesn't know she takes them.没事No,that's okay.是其它事让我整夜不睡It was something else keeping me up last night.今早也是哦And again this morning.我也不介意哟And... I didn't mind.我昨晚没睡I was up last night.今早也没睡I was up this morning.我也不介意I didn't mind.都提示你们这么多了Those are your clues.你窗台上的鸽子又孵了一窝小鸟吗Did the pigeon on your windowsill have more babies? 不是No.你又不睡整什么乐高动画电影了吧Were you up making another stop-motion lego movie? 不是No.告诉你吧'cause let me tell you,光是让乐高玩具动起来可不够It's not enough to make the legos move,还要让他们有爱懂吗They also have to capture your heart.再提示一下Okay,I'll give you one more clue.还涉及到另一个人It involved another person.你搞了个日本性爱抱枕吗Did you get a Japanese love pillow?日本性爱抱枕能算人吗How is a japanese love pillow another person?要是你爱她又给她起名字当然算It is if you love her and give her a name.普林顿博士我来给你介绍我的同事Dr. Plimpton,I'd like you to meet my colleagues-- 这位是拉杰·库萨帕里博士Dr. Rajesh Koothrappali和不是博士的霍华德·沃罗威茨And not-a-doctor Howard Wolowitz.-我是的忠实粉丝-多谢- I'm a big fan of your work. - Thank you.不用我说你和霍夫斯塔德博士And of course,you've already introduced yourself 已经互相认识过了to Dr. Hofstadter.你好呀Hey,you.你也好呀Hey,you.天我可真是精疲力竭Boy,I'm kind of tuckered out.你感觉如何伊丽莎白How are you feeling,Elizabeth?要我说吗You know what?我是有点累I am a little tired.能行行好帮我拿杯咖啡吗Would you be a dear and get me a cup of coffee? 当然Sure.要清咖啡吧Black,right?其实我现在更想喝火辣甜蜜的印度咖啡Actually,now I think I want it hot,brown and sweet. 马上就来Coming right up.你来干嘛What?你什么意思今晚是光晕之夜What do you mean "what?" it's halo night.我不能玩病得厉害I can't. I'm too sick.快走Go away.所以我们才转战到你家That's why we moved halo night here.看我还带了我妈做的鸡汤Look,I brought my mom's chicken soup.我不饿I'm not hungry.别赶他走嘛Don't send him away.-让他进来-那是谁- Let him in. - Who's that?我买了只鹦鹉I bought a parrot.得了吧Yeah,right.普林顿博士Dr. Plimpton?嗨你是霍华德吧Hi. Howard,right?我是Uh,yeah.能问你个问题吗霍华德Can I ask you a question,howard?你喜欢角色扮演游戏吗Do you like role-playing games?当然Yeah,sure.其实我是个地下城主In fact,I'm a dungeon master.今晚可以换种口味Not tonight.今晚你就当个送外卖的Tonight you are a delivery man.送来了鸡汤You brought soup,但不幸的是拉杰和我却没钱付给你But uh-oh,Raj and I don't have enough money to pay you. 所以我们只能搞一些特殊交易So we'll have to come to some other kind of arrangement. 你说什么Beg your pardon?你们自己商量下细节You two figure out the details,我去换下装I'm going to go change into something等着你们一把撕掉I don't mind getting ripped off my milky flesh.我靠真的假的What the frak?你快走Go away.她喜欢印度风的不是什么犹太风She wants new delhi,not kosher deli.再说你都有女友了Besides,you have a girlfriend.都分手几星期了We broke up weeks ago.怎么都不见你提过Why didn't you say anything?我在等待最佳时机I was waiting for the right time.现在时机就正好This is the right time.准备好光晕大战了吗Hey,who's ready for halo?我靠又来个人添乱Oh,this is like a nightmare.快滚Get lost!没错人数已经够多了He's right. The numbers are shaky enough as it is.我没听懂I don't understand.哇哦赞莱纳德来了Oh,good.Leonard's here.赞Good?!伊丽莎白Elizabeth?怎么回事What's going on?现在你和霍华德是我的搬运工What's going on is you and Howard are my moving men 而拉杰是我的新房东And Raj is my new landlord可我却没钱付给你们And I don't have enough money to pay any of you.她的意思和我想的一样淫荡吗Is she suggesting what I think she's suggesting?对Yep.欢迎来到淫荡世界[原义为一本色情杂志]Welcome to the penthouse forum.举手表决有谁同意Okay,show of hands. Who's up for this?我们仨都得赤裸裸坦诚相对的We'll all be naked in front of each other.那我不干I'm out.大家准备好了吗Everybody ready?按我说的做Follow my lead.就快了Almost.我们准备到走廊上去We're,we're going to go out into the hallway and,来个戏剧性登场make a dramatic entrance.太好了这种效果更好Oh,good. It's so much better when everyone commits.快走快走别回头看Run. Run,run,run. Don't look back.我还以为能有些特别的呢I thought we had something special.这么说你付不出房租咯So,you say you can't pay your rent...莱纳德Oh,Leonard?我在脱水机里发现的I found these in the dryer.应该是谢尔顿的吧I'm assuming they belong to Sheldon.多谢Thanks.童装要买到这样的尺码真不容易It's really hard to find these in his size.听着So,listen.关于那天早上的事我一直想找你谈谈I've been meaning to talk to you about the other morning.你是指你和淫荡骚女博士的事吗You mean you and Dr. Slutbunny?我想向你解释Yeah,I wanted to explain.你不必向我解释Well,you don't owe me an explanation.-是吗-对啊- I don't? - No,you don't.这么说你不会有想法咯So,you are not judging me.我当然有想法I'm judging you nine ways to Sunday.但你不必向我解释But you don't own me an explanation.不管怎样我还是要解释一下Nevertheless,I'd like to get one on the record, 让你明白我为什么要这么做so you can understand why I did what I did. 我听着呢I'm listening.她自己送上门的She let me.。

风筝嗬Kites,ho!风筝嗬Kites,ho!不好意思Excuse me.你们误用了"嗬"这个词You're misusing the word "ho."这是用于引起目标注意的感叹词It's an interjection used to call attention而不是物体例如"停下嗬"to a destination,not an object,as in,uh,"Land,ho!"或者"向西嗬"Or,uh,"Westward,ho!"风筝嗬Kites,ho!各位好在忙什么Hey,guys. Whatcha doin'?出去发现电的存在吗Going out to discover electricity?如果你说的是本杰明·富兰克林的成果If you're referring to the work of Benjamin Franklin, 他没有"发现电的存在"he did not "discover electricity,"他只是利用风筝证明he merely used a kite to determine闪电"带"电that lightning "consists" of electricity.他还发明了富兰克林壁炉式取暖炉He also invented the Franklin stove,双光眼镜和灵活导尿管bifocals and the flexible urinary catheter.风筝嗬Kites,ho.我们准备去斗风筝We're heading out for some kite fighting.-斗风筝-对- "Kite fighting"? - Oh,yeah.一项极具竞争性和激烈性的运动It's an extremely competitive,cutthroat sport.其实割到喉咙的风险很低Well,actually,the risk of throat cutting is very low. 另外严重被线擦伤才是真实On the other hand,severe string burn is a real且经常发生的危险and ever-present danger.你想来观战吗You want to come watch?天啊Oh,gee...听着很不错Sounds amazing.不过我有些朋友会过来But,um,I've got some friends coming over.没什么大事Not a big thing-- we're just只是聚在一起看内布拉斯加比赛gonna watch the Nebraska game.橄榄球行Oh. Football,sure.猜得好Good guess.我本想叫上你但我知道你不是球迷I would've invited you,but I know you're not a football fan. 对当然很好No,no,I'm not,so... great.你能做自己喜欢的事You've got plans我也能做自己喜欢的事doing something you like,I've got plans这样很好doing something I like,so it's good.我们能迟些再聚Well,maybe we'll hang out later--等大家都走了you know,after everybody's gone.行可以Yeah,great.再见See ya.太逊了Well,this sucks.抱歉我觉得无聊开小差了I'm sorry,I got bored and drifted off.什么东西很逊Where exactly in the interaction did the sucking lie?莱纳德刚发现佩妮不想带他见朋友Leonard just realized that Penny's been hiding him因为莱纳德是个身材矮小from her friends because he's a tiny,little man又喜欢放风筝的人who flies kites.这当然会很逊Oh,that certainly would suck.沃罗威茨想侧翼包围咱们Wolowitz is trying to outflank us.你放线飞高点Let out some string,add altitude我从下方偷袭割他的线and I'll go under and cut his line.为什么佩妮不想让她朋友认识我Why wouldn't Penny want her friends to meet me? 集中精神比赛莱纳德Focus,Leonard,focus!战斗的热浪迎面而来The heat of battle is upon us.战争的恶犬已被释放The dogs of war are unleashed.或许库萨帕里说得对Maybe Koothrappali's right.也许我让她囧了Maybe I embarrass her.你现在就让我囧了You're embarrassing me right now.一个大男人在放风筝的时候A grown man worrying about such nonsense居然担心这种无聊东西when in the middle of flying kites.对不起Sorry.道歉可打不下对方的风筝Sorry won't bring their kites down.被线擦伤痛痛String burn! String burn!他们以为我们想侧翼包围Oh,they think we're flanking.正中我们下怀They're playing right into our hands.我数到三使出绝杀飞剪On the count of three,we execute the flying scissor. 一二One,two...哇Whoa!-看到没-什么- Did you see that? - See what?那个小妞她冲我笑That chick-- she smiled at me.-没有-有- No,she didn't. - Yes,she did.快飞剪飞剪Come on,scissors,scissors!-帮我拿着-等等- Hold my line. - Wait.你去干什么What are you doing?我没法单独使出飞剪I can't scissors by myself!霍华德回来Howard! Come back!胜利Victory!狗娘养的Son of a bitch.你真是垃圾朋友知道吗You're a sucky friend,you know that?比垃圾还垃圾的朋友A sucky,sucky friend.我能怎样What was supposed to do?她冲我那么诱惑一笑She gave me that "come-hither" look.就算她冲你笑那也是笑你很逊If she gave you any look at all. it was a "you suck" look. 如果没有拉伤大腿我就能追上她I would've caught up to her if I hadn't pulled a hammy. 拜托你才80磅重Oh,please,you weigh 80 pounds.哪有什么大腿肌肉You don't have a hammy.佩妮不想带我见朋友So,Penny doesn't want me around her friends.我让她囧了有其他可能吗I embarrass her. What else could it be?她的行为Well,her actions能理解为顾及你的感受could be out of concern for your feelings也许她不让你参加聚会Perhaps she's excluded you from these gatherings是因为她想物色新配偶because she's scouting for a new mate但不想让你看到and don't want to do it in front of you.她真贴心Oh... how kind of her.同意Agreed.大多数灵长类动物没有这种判断力Most primates don't show that sort of discretion.雌性倭黑猩猩会在前配偶面前A female bonobo will copulate with a new male与新配偶交配in front of the old one根本不会想"你怎么样"without so much as a "how do you do?"你老是这样知道吗You always do this,you know?抛下我去追没有机会追到的女人You ditch me for a woman you don't have a shot with. 我完全有机会I totally had a shot. With a woman在公园追逐一名女子you were chasing through a park--这不叫机会这叫重罪that's not a shot,that's a felony.搭上我赢回来的帕唐风筝更罪加一等What's worse,it cost me my prized Patang fighting kite. 谢尔顿能不能行行好Sheldon,I don't suppose there's any chance把风筝还给我you could give me my kite back?对不起拉杰空战的规则I'm sorry,Raj,but the rules of aerial warfare规定战败的风筝归胜者dictate at the fallen kite go to the victor.没有规则比赛就没有意义And without rules,the competition has no meaning.没有比赛意义And without meaning,下面的动作就只会是个空洞的姿态the following would be an empty gesture.你的风筝归我了I have your kite.你的橄榄球派对如何How was your football party?-很不错我们赢了-哇- It was pretty good. We won. - Oh,wow.太棒了That's excellent.你不觉得这个比喻很怪吗It's a weird figure of speech,isn't it不是我们在玩却说"我们赢了""We won" when you weren't actually playing.当我们看《星球大战》的时候When we watch Star Wars,我们不会说"我们打败了帝国"we don't say,"We defeated the Empire."很高兴听你这么说I'm glad to hear it.对了还有个相关问题Oh,hey,on a related subject,我跟你朋友在一起会让你觉得有失颜面吗Are you embarrassed to have me around your friends? 天呐当然不会Oh,my god,no.为什么要这么问Why would you ask that?我才发现Well,you know,I just noticed我还没见过他们呢I haven't really met any of them.你肯定见过Sure you have.对我见过你那高大的前男友Yeah,no,I met the huge ex-boyfriend还有小一点但还是比我高大的前男友and the smaller yet still larger than me ex-boyfriend 顺便问一下他们今天来了吗By the way,were they here today?-当然没有-当然没有- Of course not. - Of course not.为什么要来为什么我会问Why would they be? Why would I ask?为什么我这么无厘头为什么你不制止我Why am I rambling? Why don't you stop me?莱纳德Leonard,look,如果你想见我的朋友当然很好啦if you want to meet my friends,that would be great. 我只是不想让你觉得太无聊I just,you know,I didn't want you to be bored.我才不会觉得无聊呢I wouldn't be bored.为什么我会无聊Why would I be bored?因为他们不是天才科学家啊Well,'cause they're not genius scientists.佩妮我喜欢各种各样的人Penny,I like all sorts of people.事实上我最好的一些朋友并不是天才In fact,some of my best friends aren't geniuses.比如说Like who?好吧我的某些Facebook朋友不是天才Okay,some of my Facebook friends aren't geniuses. 重点在于如果我们要成为一对My point is,if we're going to be a couple,我应该是你朋友的朋友I should be friends with your friends.好啊太棒了那你下周六Okay,great. Well,then why don't you跟我们一起看橄榄球比赛吧come over next Saturday and watch the game with us. 又有橄榄球赛吗Another football game?橄榄球赛每周都有的They have them every week.不知道这回事Did not know that.-你想见我的朋友-当然- You wanted to meet my friends. - Sure.当然但是我对橄榄球不大了解Sure,just I don't know much about football.那没关系很多男生的Oh,that's okay-- a lot of the guys'女朋友完全不懂橄榄球girlfriends don't know football.她们就只在厨房边喝酒边聊天They just kind of drink and talk in the kitchen."真不错"Great.好的成功的传球Okay,a complete pass.一档新英格兰First down,New England.我觉得我开始有点明白了I think I'm starting to get this.真的吗Really?过去两小时中我唯一学到的The only thing I've learned in the last two hours就是美国男人喜欢喝啤酒is that American men love drinking beer,尿太多导致勃起障碍pee too often and have trouble getting erections.把精力放比赛上而不是广告拉杰Focus on the game,not the commercials,Raj.我只是说如果人们能减少啤酒摄入I'm just saying,maybe if you people cut back on the beer, 就可以从厕所中解脱出来you could get out of the bathroom在不使用医药帮助的情况下满足他的女人and satisfy your women without pharmaceutical help.拉杰你在这儿干嘛呢Raj,what are you doing here?你本该帮我改装我的小摩托You were supposed to help me pimp out my Vespa.对不起I'm sorry,你还沉浸在我们仍是朋友的印象中吗are you under the impression that we're still friends?别这样Oh,come on.你不会还在纠结风筝的事情吧You're not still grinding on the kite thing,are you?这不仅仅是风筝的事情It's not just the kite thing.每次我们出去玩你都认为你可以随时Every time we go some place,you think you can just把我丢下去追路过的漂亮美眉dump me whenever someone prettier comes along,尽管你跟她们完全没可能even though you don't have a shot with them.我跟那个跑步的有可能成的I had a shot with that jogger.行啊那找她与你一起往你的小绵羊上画绿焰去Fine. Paint green flames on your little scooter with her. 那不是小绵羊It's not a little scooter.那是他们造的第二大小摩托It's the second biggest Vespa they make!你在看橄榄球Are you watching football?没跟你开玩笑There's no fooling you.屏幕上的"sacks"数据又是什么Now,what is this sacks statistic they put up there?我只知道我妈经常去"Sacks"商店买东西All I know about Sacks is,my mother shops there. Sacks sacksSacks,sacks...这是个橄榄球术语用于四分卫It's football nom for when a quarterback is tackled在启球线之后被擒倒behind the line of scrimmage.启球Scrimmage.启球线是一条假想的横截线The line of scrimmage is the imaginary transverse line 用于区分进攻方与防守方separating the offense from the defense.谢尔顿懂橄榄球Sheldon knows football?很显然他懂Apparently.魁地奇他肯定懂橄榄球他也懂?I mean,Quidditch,sure. But football?谢尔顿你怎么知道这个Sheldon,how do you know this stuff?我可是在德克萨斯长大的I grew up in Texas.橄榄球在德克萨斯无处不在Football is ubiquitous in Texas:职业橄榄球大学橄榄球Pro football,college football,高中橄榄球初中橄榄球high school football,peewee football...事实上所有种类的橄榄球都有除了最原始的In fact,every form of football except the original--欧式橄榄球European football.而大部分德克萨斯人认为这是共产党阴谋Which most Texans believe to be a Commie plot.真难以置信Unbelivable.如果你感兴趣我还知道所有If you're interested,I also know all about frying meat 似鸡非鸡的炸肉排的相关知识that isn't chicken as if it were chicken.那你能教我吗So you could teach me?橄榄球还是炸肉排Football or chicken-fried meats?橄榄球Football.我周日要去佩妮家I'm going to Penny's on Saturday跟她的朋友们看比赛to watch a game with her friends我不想自己看上去像个白痴我想融入进去and I don't want to look lik an idiot. I want to blend in. 如果你想融入佩妮的朋友圈If you want to blend in with Penny's friends,我觉得扮作个白痴I'd think looking like an idiot会是完美的伪装would be the perfect camouflage.别这样谢尔顿教我橄榄球吧Come on,Sheldon,please teach me about football.会很有趣的It'll be fun.这跟我爸说的完全一样That's exactly what my father said."来看球赛吧去看球赛吧""Come to the games. Watch the games."周复一周的Week in and week out from the time从五岁直到我上大学I was five until I went off to college.人生当中最漫长的七年Longest seven years of my life.求你了这是朋友的请求Please,I'm asking you as a friend.你要将这作为一级友情请求吗Are you making this a tier one friendship request?是的Yes.那好吧Fine.-我非常感谢-算了算了- I really appreciate this. - Yeah,yeah.那好呆子闭嘴坐下听好All right,Poindexter,sit down,shut up and listen.你说啥I'm sorry?我老爸每次讲到橄榄球的话题That's how my father always began都是这个开场白our football conversations.如果你想的话And if you'd like,比赛后after the game,我还可以带你出去I'll take you outside and teach you how to shoot教你射会自己便便的浣熊Close enough to racoon that craps itself.你能别再摆弄赛昂吐司了吗(太空堡垒卡拉狄加里的人类天敌) When are you going to stop making Cylon toast?待我囤积的吐司大军足以毁灭传说中When I have enough to destroy all the human toast太空堡垒卡拉狄加上的人类吐司之后on the battlestar known as Galactica.你就穿这去佩妮那儿看橄榄球吗Is that what you're wearing to watch football at Penny's?这件球衣咋不对劲了What's wrong with a football jersey?没啥Nothing.只是看上去更像特制橄榄球鸡尾酒That,however,appears to be a football cocktail dress.这是最小号的I's the smallest size they had,除了狗狗衫以外except the one for dogs.难以置信居然还有专门的狗狗衫I can't believe they had one for dogs.当然有了Oh,yes.犬类球迷在德州司空见惯Canine football fans are a common sight in Texas.但是猫咪却不肯穿运动服Cats,however,refuse to wear sporting apparel.我姐有过惨痛教训My sister found that out the hard way.管他的祝我好运吧Anyway,wish me luck.等等莱纳德Leonard,wait.你是想通过结交佩妮的朋友Am I correct in assuming that your attempt to be accepted 来维持你俩间的性爱关系by Penny's pair to ensure我这么假设没错吧your continuing mating privileges with her?对我来说不尽然如此Well,I wouldn't put it exactly that way那到底是怎样How would you put it?好吧其实就是你说的那样Yeah,okay,like you said.看来要经历一段性关系Huh. Seems like an awful lot of trouble还真是麻烦得要命to go through for intercourse.你就不能花钱找个妓女吗Don't you have access to women who will do it for money? 顺便By the way.在这种语境下也可以"嗬"一声Another accepted usage for the term "ho."再见谢尔顿Good-bye,Sheldon.等下Hold on我认为按照社会传统规定I believe that social convention你可不能两手空空地上门dictate you not arriving empty-handed.带些赛昂吐司吧Would you like to bring some Cylon toast?不带我想融入其中才不想被嘲笑Yeah,no,I'm trying to fit in,not get laughed at.赛昂吐司有啥好笑What's funny about Cylon toast?门没锁It's open.好啊哥们儿Hey,pal.你来干嘛What do you want?我给你带了件小礼物I brought you a little gift.一只新风筝New kite.你害我输掉的那只可是正宗的帕唐风筝The kite you made me lose was an authentic Patang, 是我兄弟从新德里给我寄来的Indian fighting kite印度战斗风筝that my brother sent to me from New Delhi.我组装了一整天两天用来上色It took me a day to put together and two days to paint. 而这是Hello KittyThis is Hello Kitty.没错但这可附带一只零钱袋呢Yeah,but it comes with a little coin purse.帕唐风筝有吗Does a Patang?你还是不懂是吗Wow,you just don't get it,do you?就算你给我买什么可爱的小玩意Buying me something pretty isn't going也不能解决问题to make our problem just go away.听我说我有时候的确Look,I admit I haven't always been不是一个绝佳好友the best friend I could be.你根本就是超级烂友烂到极点Y've been a sucky friend,a sucky,sucky friend.没说错Stipulated.你一直都这样And you do it all the time.上周在Radio Shack商场(美国电子产品零售商) Last week in the mall at Radio Shack,we were looking 我们在帮你妈找一部超大号码键的电话for a phone with giant numbers for your mother,而我一转眼你居然就不见了and I suddenly realize you're not even there.-我知道-你去哪儿了- I know,I know... - And Where were you?被HDOS快餐店的一个女孩儿勾走了Getting shot down by the girl at Hot Dog on a Stick. 听我解释她实在很火辣嘛But in my defense,she was gorgeous!一边用榨汁机做柠檬汁And working that squeezer to make the lemonade,一边上下扭腰摆臀的going and down and up and down.简直就是在美食天地中It was like a free pole dance免费欣赏钢管舞嘛right in the middle of the food court.你真是不可理喻You're impossible.至少我不用喝醉酒Hey,at least I can talk to women就能和女人交谈自如without being drunk.不好意思我这是选择性缄默症Excuse me,I have selective mutism,被鉴定为是生理疾病a recognized medical disorder.你呢你不过是个脑残You're just a douche.不知道吗No. You know what?也许这才是原因Maybe that's what this whole thing's about.你不是在生我的气You're not mad at me,而是气你自己you're mad at yourself.不我就是生你的气No,I'm mad at you.我是讨厌自己但我还是生你的气I hate myself,but I'm mad at you.好吧你生我气我明白Fine. You're mad at me. I get it.何不今天咱一起过How about we go spend the day together?就我们俩Just the two of us.你想去哪儿都成We'll go anywhere you want.我不知道I don't know.别这样嘛Come on.我带你去好玩的地方Let me take you someplace nice.我很喜欢沥青坑博物馆(展出动物化石的公园) I-I do enjoy the La Brea Tar Pits.现在去那交通和停车问题Really,now? With the traffic and the parking?管他的走Okay,fine.沥青坑我们来啦The Tar Pits. Let's go.我怎么就对你没辙呢Oh,why can't I stay mad at you?上啊上啊Go! Go! Go!快上太好了Go-go-go-go! Yes!你们没看到吗Are you people watching this?这真是太棒了Is this amazing or what?亲爱的现在放的是Sweetie,that's a highlight98年冠军赛的比赛集锦from the '98 championship game.我不知道Oh. Did not know that.-你喝了多少-没喝怎么- How much beer have you had? - None,why?没啥我只是希望你喝醉了Oh. I was just kind of hoping you were drunk.-现在回到现场直播了-好- Now we're back live. - Okay,yeah.我能看出跟之前的差别I can see the difference.怎么不掷黄旗那绝对是故意出界Oh,where's the flag? That's intentional grounding.-绝对的-那完全就是个向前传球- Totally. - That completely was a forward pass,也就是说他们故意传球不成功Which they threw intentionally incomplete以免被罚码数或为了节省时间To avoid loss of yardage or to conserve time我真不敢相信裁判甚至不I can't believe they're not罚掉他们失去一次进攻机会Being penalized with the loss of a down并将启球线And by having to move the line of scrimmage移回到犯规的地方重新开始进攻Back to the spot of the foul.来吃块披萨亲爱的Here,have some pizza,sweetie.佩妮你知道我有乳糖不耐症的Penny,you know I'm lactose intolerant.我知道我只想让你别说话I know. I just need you stop talking.佩妮佩妮佩妮Penny. Penny. Penny.-谢尔顿进来吧-谢谢- Sheldon,come in. - Thank you.我想做三明治但没面包了I'd like to make a sandwich,but I'm out of bread.冰箱里有There's some in the fridge.你不该把面包放冰箱里的You shouldn't keep your bread in the refrigerator.淀粉分子间的结晶作用会让面包变硬Staleness is caused by crystallization of the starch molecules, 在低温条件下这一过程会加速Which occurs faster at cool temperatures.在地球上我们都说"谢谢"On Earth,we say "thank you."莱纳德鹦鹉学舌得怎么样So Leonard,how goes the mimesis?鹦鹉学舌"Mimesis"?你知道的鹦鹉学舌You know. Mimesis.就是鹦鹉学着某个特定的目标或人物An action in which the mimic takes on the properties模仿他们的行为of a specific object or organism.鹦鹉学舌Mimesis.你到底在说什么啊What the hell are you talking about?我是在跟你交流I'm attempting to communicate with you又不想让你周围的人明白Without my meaning becoming apparent to those around you. 我再试一次好了Let me try again.这几个"本地物种"Have the indigenous fauna接受你为他们中一员了吗Accepted you as one of their own?咯吱咯吱使使眼色Nudge,nudge,wink,wink.我想是吧Oh,I guess so.很好顺便提醒你Good. Oh,FYI.我吃完三明治之后我就带库萨帕里的After I eat my sandwich,I'm taking Koothrappali's帕唐风筝出去试飞一下Patang kite out for a test run.你想带着你的三角翼猛禽跟我一起去吗Would you like to get your delta-wing raptor and join me?谢尔顿我不想去放风筝I don't want to fly kites,Sheldon.我们正看球赛呢We're watching football here.我看得出来I can see that.只是给你另外一个选择而已I was providing you with an alternative.而且是之前从未在类似情况下提供过的恩惠A courtesy I was never offered in similar circumstances.快看Oh,look at that.俄克拉荷马的主教练掷红旗The Oklahoma coach throw down a red flag表明他对场上裁决表示异议Indicating he's challenging the ruling on the field.希望他是对的不然的话I hope he's right,'cause if he'not,他就要付出三次暂停中的一次作为代价了It'll cost him one of his three time-outs.莱纳德亲爱的You know,Leonard,honey,你想跟谢尔顿出去斗风筝的话我不介意的I wouldn't mind if you wanted to go fly kites with Sheldon. 不我想看完这比赛No,I'll watch the end of the game.再说反正也就剩三分钟了Besides,there's only three minutes left.上半场剩三分钟Until halftime.才到上半场结束This is justalf?都几个小时了We've been here for hours.还得再有几个小时And you're gonna be here for a couple more.-你开什么玩笑-没开玩笑- Oh,you're kidding me. - No.很高兴见到各位Nice meeting all of you.是啊那啥那就是我男朋友So,yeah,anyway,that's my boyfriend.他真的很聪明He is really smart.这剑齿猫[即剑齿虎]我真的很喜欢I really like my saber-toothed cat.谢谢你Thank you.别客气My pleasure.也许午饭后我们还可以去圣安东尼奥餐厅Maybe after lunch,we can go to Marie Callender's吃几个派And have some pie.我很想去I'd like it.这真是一个完美的周六This is turning out to be a perfect Saturday.很好我很荣幸Good.I'm glad.兄弟看到她怎么对我笑了吗Oh,man. Did you see the way she smiled at me?好吧你去好了Fine. Go ahead.不行今儿就我们俩过No. This is our day.想去追的话就去吧If you want to chase after her,chase after her.开什么玩笑那样的女孩我一点机会都没有的Ah,who am I kidding? I wouldn't have a shot with a girl like that. 别这么妄自菲薄Don't put yourself down.你还是很有吸引力的You're a very attractive man.-你真这么想-对- You think so? - Yeah.当然虽然我不会强迫你跟我去上Absolutely. It wouldn't kill you普拉提锻炼肌肉To take a Pilates class with me now and then,但你的竹竿身材还是有点吸引力的But you have a certain wiry appeal是啊都无所谓了Yeah,well,it doesn't matter因为她又没真的对我笑'cause she wasn't really smiling at me.事实上这次我觉得她确实有Actually,in this case,I think she was.真的Really?-真的-回见- Yeah. - Bye.真是个傻瓜What a douche.。

Script compiled bywww.big-bang-forum.deTHE address for geeks and …The Big Bang Theory“ fans!THE BIG BANG THEORYbyChuck Lorre & Bill PradySeason 1, Episode 5 (s01e05)Title: The Hamburger Postulate---> Dialog only <---SHELDONAll right, I'm moving my infantry division, augmented by a bataillon of orcs from …Lord of the Rings“. We flank the Tennessee volunteers and the North, once again, wins the battle of Gettysburg.HOW ARDNot so fast. Remember, the South still has two infantry divisions, plus Superman and Godzilla.LEONARDNo, no, no, no, orcs are magic. Superman is vulnerable to magic. Not to mention you already lost Godzilla to the Illinois cavalry and Hulk. RAJESHWhy don't you just have Robert E. Lee charge the line with Shiva and Ganesh?PENNYHey, you guys ready to order?HOW ARDHang on, honey. Shiva and Ganesh, the Hindu gods, against the entire Union army?LEONARDAnd orcs.PENNYI'll be back.RAJESHExcuse me. Ganesh is the Remover of Obstacles and Shiva is the Destroyer. When the smoke clears, Abraham Lincoln will be speaking Hindi and drinking mint juleps.PENNYAll right, my boss says you have to either order or leave and never come back.HOW ARDWhat do you recommend for someone who worked up a man-sized appetite from a morning of weight training and cardio-funk?PENNYA shower.HOW ARDI'll take the heart-smart platter.PENNYAll right, thank you. And Sheldon?SHELDONWe don't eat here. I don't know what's good.PENNYWell, it's all good.SHELDONStatistically unlikely.LEONARDJust get a hamburger. You like hamburgers.SHELDONI like the hamburgers where we usually have hamburgers. You can't make the assumption that I'll like the hamburgers here.LEONARDI'm sorry. Give him a hamburger.PENNYUh, which one, the classic burger, the ranch house burger, the barbecue burger, or the kobe burger?SHELDONCan't we just go to Big Boy? They only have one burger... the Big Boy. PENNYWell, the Barbecue Burger's like the Big Boy.SHELDONExcuse me, in a world that already includes a Big Boy, why would I settle for something like a Big Boy?PENNYBecause you are not at Big Boy.SHELDONFine, I'll have the Barbecue Burger.LEONARDMake it two.SHELDONWaitresses don't yell at you at Big Boy.LESLIEHey, Leonard. Hi, guys.HOW ARD, SHELDONHey.LEONARDHey, Leslie.LESLIEI didn't know you ate here.SHELDONWe don't. This is a disturbing aberration.LEONARDLeslie, this is Penny, she lives across the hall from Sheldon and me. HOW ARDAnd walks in quiet beauty like the night.PENNYHoward, I've asked you not to do that.LEONARDLeslie and I do research together at the university.PENNYOh, wow. A girl scientist.LESLIEYep. Come for the breasts, stay for the brains. So glad I ran into you. The Physics Department string quartet needs a new cellist.LEONARD4.What happened to Elliot Wong?LESLIEHe switched over to high-energy radiation research, had a little mishap and now the other guys are uncomfortable sitting next to him.So are you in?LEONARDYeah, sure. Why not?LESLIEGreat, we rehearse on Tuesdays at your place.LEONARDWhy at my place?LESLIEYeah, Department of Energy said our regular space is kind of a hot zone. Nice meeting you.PENNYYeah, you too. Leonard, I didn't know you played the cello.LEONARDYeah, my parents felt that naming me Leonard and putting me in advanced-placement classes wasn't getting me beaten up enough.HOW ARDIf you're into music, I happen to be a human beatbox.PENNYReally? I'm actually not that into music. So hey, your friend's really cute anything going on with you two?LEONARDLeslie? No, no. What, are you kidding?SHELDONHe asked her out once, it was an embarrassing failure.LEONARDThank you, Sheldon.SHELDONOh, I'm sorry. Was that supposed to be a secret?PENNYOh, that's too bad. You guys would make a cute couple.RAJESHOh, dear.HOW ARDWhat's the matter?RAJESHShe didn't take my order.HOW ARDHow can she take your order when you're too neurotic to talk to her? RAJESHNevertheless, this will be reflected in her tip.LEONARDWhat did Penny mean, …you'd make a cute couple“?SHELDONWell, I assume she meant the two of you together would constitute a couple that others might consider cute. An alternate and somewhat less likely interpretation is that you could manufacture one. As in, …Oh, look, Leonard and Leslie made Mr. and Mrs. Goldfarb. Aren't they adorable?“LEONARDIf Penny didn't know that Leslie had turned me down, then it would unambiguously mean that she, Penny, thought I should ask her, Leslie, out, indicating that she, Penny, had no interest in me asking her, Penny, out. But, because she did know that I had asked Leslie out and that she, Leslie, had turned me down, then she, Penny, could be offering consolation. …That's too bad, you would have made a cute couple,“ but while thinking, …Good, Leonard remains available.“SHELDONYou're a lucky man, Leonard.LEONARDHow so?SHELDONYou're talking to one of the three men in the Western hemisphere capable of following that train of thought.LEONARDWell, what do you think?SHELDONI said I could follow it. I didn't say I cared.============================================ THEME SONG ===========================================LESLIEI admire your fingering.LEONARDThank you.LESLIEMaybe sometime you can try that on my instrument. Good night, guys. Good job.MALE MUSICIANThanks.FEMALE MUSICIANSee you next week.LEONARDThat was fun, Leslie. Thanks for including me.LESLIEYou're welcome. If you're up for it, we could practice that middle section again.LEONARDAh, sure. Why not?LESLIEJust so we're clear, you understand that me hanging back to practice with you is a pretext for letting you know that I'm sexually available. LEONARDReally?LESLIEYeah, I'm good to go.LEONARDI thought you weren't interested inme.LESLIEThat was before I saw you handling that beautiful piece of wood between your legs.LEONARDYou mean my cello?LESLIENo, I mean the obvious, crude, double entendre. I'm seducing you. LEONARDNo kidding.LESLIEWhat can I say? I'm a passionate and impulsive woman. So how about it?LEONARDGee... ah...LESLIEIs it the waitress?LEONARDPenny? What about her?LESLIEWell, I thought I saw your pupils dilate when you looked at her. Which, unless you're a heroin addict, points to sexual attraction.LEONARDI did have a poppy seed bagel for breakfast. Which could cause a positive urine test for opiates, but certainly not dilate my pupils. So I guess there is no point in bringing it up.LESLIEYou and the waitress, then.LEONARDNo, no. There's nothing going on between Penny and me.LESLIESo you're open to a sexual relationship?LEONARDYeah. Yeah, I guess I am.LESLIEGood.LEONARDYeah, it is. It is good. Did you wanna start now?LESLIEWhy don't we finish the section first?LEONARDOh, okay. A little musical foreplay. Terrific.LEONARDI'm uh, good to go.LESLIEMe too.PENNYOh. Hey Sheldon. What's going on?SHELDONI need your opinion on a matter of semiotics.PENNYI'm sorry?SHELDONSemiotics, the study of signs and symbols. It's a branch of philosophy related to linguistics.PENNYOkay, sweetie, I know you think you're explaing yourself, but you're really not.SHELDONJust come with me. Well?PENNYWell, what?SHELDONWhat does it mean?PENNYOh, come on, you went to college.SHELDONYes, but I was 11.PENNYAll right. Look, a tie on the doorknob usually means someone doesn't wanna be disturbed because, they're, you know, gettin' busy. SHELDONSo you're saying Leonard has a girl in there?PENNYWell, either that or he's lost his tie rack and gotten really into Bryan Adams.LESLIEOh, Leonard, you magnificent beast.PENNYWe really shouldn't be standing here.SHELDONThis is very awkward.PENNYOh, come on. You know, Leonard's had girls over before, right? SHELDONOh, yes. But there's usually planning, courtship, advance notice. Last time, I was able to book a cruise to the Arctic to see a solar eclipse.PENNYWait, wait. You had to leave the state because your roommate was having sex?SHELDONI didn't have to. The dates just happened to coincide.PENNYSo do you know who's in there?SHELDONWell, there's Leonard. And he's either with Leslie Winkle or a 1930s gangster.PENNYHmm. Good for him. Good for Leonard. Okay. Night.No, no, wait, hold on.PENNYWhat's the matter?SHELDONI don't know what the protocol is here. Do I stay? Do I leave? Do I wait to greet them with a refreshing beverage?PENNYGee, Sheldon, you're asking the wrong girl. I'm usually on the other side of the tie.SHELDONHi, Leonard? It's me. Sheldon. In the living room. I just... I wanted you to know I saw the tie. Message received. You're welcome. You carry on. Give my best to Leslie. Big Boy. Someone touched my board. Oh, God, my board. Leonard. Leonard!LEONARDHey, what's the matter?SHELDONMy equations, someone's tampered with my equations.LEONARDAre you sure?SHELDONOf course I'm sure. Look at the beta function of quantum chromodynamics. The sign's been changed.LEONARDOh, yeah. But doesn't that fix the problem you've been having? SHELDONAre you insane? Are you out of your mind? Are you...? Hey, look, that fixes the problem I've been having.LESLIEYou're welcome.SHELDONYou did this?LESLIEYeah. I noticed it when I got up to get a glass of water. So I fixed it. Now you can show that quarks are asymptotically free at high energies. Pretty cool, huh?SHELDON…Cool“?LESLIEListen, I gotta get to the lab. Thanks for a great night.LEONARDThank you. I'll see you at work.Hold on. Hold on.LESLIEWhat?SHELDONWho told you you could touch my board?LESLIENo one.SHELDONI don't come into your house and touch your board.LESLIEThere are no incorrect equations on my board.SHELDONOh, that is so, so...LESLIEI'm sorry, I gotta run. If you come up with an adjective, text me. SHELDONInconsiderate. That is the adjective. Inconsiderate.LEONARDYou can stare at your board all day, Sheldon. She's still going to be right. SHELDONI'm not staring, I'm mulling.PENNYOh, hey Leonard.LEONARDOh, hi.PENNYSo... how's it going?LEONARDPretty good.PENNYJust pretty good? I'd think you were doing very good.LEONARDPretty, very... There's really no objective scale for delineating variations of good. Why do you ask?PENNYWell, a little bird told me that you and Leslie hooked up last night. LEONARDSheldon!SHELDONI'm comming!PENNYSo is it serious? Do you like her?LEONARDI don't... Th-Th-Th-That's really two different questions. Ah, I'm not... Sheldon, we have to go.SHELDONBoy, you're wound awfully tight for a man who's just had sexual intercourse.PENNYAll right, well, I'll talk to you later. But I am so happy for you, Leonard. LEONARDThank you. What did she mean, she's happy for me? Is she happy because I'm seeing someone or is she happy because she thinks that I'm happy? Because anyone who cared for someone would want them to be happy, even if the reason for their happiness made the first person unhappy. You know, because the second person, though happy, is now romantically unavailable to the first person.SHELDONDo you realize I may have to share a Nobel Prize with your booty call? LEONARDYou know what? I'm being ridiculous. Who cares what Penny thinks? Leslie is a terrific girl. She's attractive. We like each other. She's extremely intelligent.SHELDONShe's not that intelligent.LEONARDShe fixed your equation.SHELDONShe got lucky.LEONARDYou don't believe in luck.SHELDONI don't have to believe in it for her to be lucky.LEONARDRegardless, I have a chance at a real relationship with Leslie. I'm not going to pass that up for some hypothetical future of happiness with a woman who may or may not want me to be happy, with a woman who is currently making me happy.SHELDONLeonard.LEONARDYeah?SHELDONI still don't care.LEONARDHey, Leslie.LESLIECareful, Leonard. Liquid nitrogen, 320 degrees below zero. LEONARDBrrr. Heh.LEONARDWhy are you smashing a flash-frozen banana?LESLIEBecause I got a bowl of Cheerios and I couldn't find a knife. LEONARDSo anyway, hello.LESLIEUh, what are you doing?LEONARDJust extending the intimacy. Hey, do you wanna slip over to the radiation lab and share a decontamination shower?LESLIEOkay, uh, what exactly do you think's going on between us? LEONARDI'm not sure, but I think I'm about to discover how the banana felt. LESLIEListen, Leonard. Neither of us are neuroscientists, but we both understand the biochemistry of sex. I mean, dopamine in our brains is released across synapses, causing pleasure. You stick electrodes in a rat's brain, give him an orgasm button, he'll push that thing until he starves to death. LEONARDWell, who wouldn't? Heh.LESLIEWell, the only difference between us and the rat is that you can't stick an electrode in our hypothalamus. That's where you come in.LEONARDYeah, well, I'm just glad to be a part of it. Heh. So what happens now? LESLIEWell, I don't know about your sex drive, but I'm probably good till New Year's.LEONARDOh. Okay. Thank you.LESLIEThank you.LEONARDYou wanna make plans for New Year's?LESLIEWow, Leonard. Please, you're smothering me.HOW ARDHey, look it's Dr. Stud.LEONARDDoctor What?HOW ARDThe blogospheres are buzzin' with news of you and Leslie Winkle making …Eine kleine bang-bang Musik“.LEONARDHow did it get on the Internet?HOW ARDI put it there.LEONARDWell, how did you know about it?RAJESHA little bird told us. Apparently, you are a magnificent beast. LEONARDTh-That part's true.SHELDONYou know, I think I may have misjudged this restaurant.LEONARDNo kidding.SHELDONI don't want to go out on a limb, but I think we may be looking at my new Tuesday hamburger.LEONARDYour old Tuesday hamburger will be so brokenhearted.SHELDONWay ahead of you. I was thinking of moving Big Boy to Thursdays, and just dropping Souplantation.LEONARDReally?SHELDONYeah. The name always confused me anyway. Souplantation. You can't grow soup.PENNYSo, how's everything?SHELDONMmm, terrific. You'll be happy to know that I plan to come here every Tuesday night for the foreseeable future.LEONARDReally? Oh, yay. Heh-he.SHELDONWho do I speak to about permanently reserving this table?PENNYUm, I don't know, a psychiatrist? So, hey. How are things with you and Leslie?LEONARDOh. To be honest, I don't think it's going to work out.PENNYOh. Oh, that's too bad. Well, hey, don't worry. I'm sure there's someone out there who's just right for you.LEONARDWell, what did she mean by that? Was that just a generic platitude or was that a subtle bid for attention?SHELDONYou know why this hamburger surpasses the Big Boy? This is a single-decker hamburger, whereas the Big Boy is a double-decker. This has a much more satisfying meat-to-bun-to-condiment ratio. LEONARDAre you even listening to me?SHELDONOf course, I'm listening. Blah, blah, hopeless Penny delusion, blah, blah, blah.LEONARDOkay, then. You know, you can grow the ingredients for soup.THE END。

生活大爆炸第五季第12集The Big Bang Theory Season5 Episode 12-Howard: Completely empty box.绝对是一个空盒子。

If you'd like to examine it...你们可以检查一下...-Leonard: Mm-hmm. Yep.嗯，好吧。

I see nothing in this box but a wasted childhood.对，里面除了你那荒废了的的童年，空无一物。

-Howard: Little snarky there, Cello Lessons. And we have this completely ordinary cylinder. If you'd like to examine it...吐槽过分了吧，学大提琴的。

这里还有一个十分普通的圆筒。

你们也可以检查一下..-Rajesh: Ordinary, yet I sense it is dripping with magical potential.看似普通，但我感觉到它隐隐发散的魔力了。

-Sheldon: Oh, dear Lord. A man pops out for a moment to evacuate his bowels and catch up on the Adventures of the Caped Crusader, only to emerge and discover his apartment has been transformed into a cabaret.噢，上帝啊。

人家只是走开一下去拉个屎顺便看看"蝙蝠侠:斗篷骑士"的新番，回来却发现人家的公寓已经变成了歌厅了. pop out: 弹出evacuate: 排泄bowels: 内脏（尤指人的肠子）catch up: 赶上adventures: 冒险caped: 披斗篷的crusader: 改革者emerge: 出现cabaret: 卡巴莱歌舞表演-Leonard: Sheldon, he's just practicing for his cousin's birthday party.他只是在演练他表弟生日派对的节目而已。

Script compiled bywww.big-bang-forum.deTHE address for geeks and …The Big Bang Theory“ fans!THE BIG BANG THEORYbyChuck Lorre & Bill PradySeason 1, Episode 1 (s01e01)Title: Pilot---> Dialog only <---SHELDONSo if a photon is directed througha plane with two slits in it andeither slit is observed, it willnot go through both slits. If it'sunobserved, it will. However, ifit's observed after it's left theplane but before it hits itstarget, it won't have gone throughboth slits.LEONARDAgreed. What's your point?SHELDONThere's no point, I just think it'sa good idea for a T-shirt.LEONARDExcuse me.ALTHEAHang on.LEONARDOne across is …Aegean“. Eight downis …Nabokov“. 26 across is …MCM“.14 down is... Move your finger...…Phylum“ which makes 14 across…Port-au-Prince“. See, …Papa Doc'scapitol idea“, that's …Port-au-Prince“. Haiti.ALTHEACan I help you?LEONARDYes. Um, is this the high-IQ spermbank?ALTHEAIf you have to ask, maybe you shouldn't be here.SHELDONI think this is the place.ALTHEAFill these out.LEONARDThank you. We'll be right back.ALTHEAOh, take your time. I'll justfinish my crossword puzzle. Oh, wait.SHELDONLeonard, I don't think I can do this.LEONARDWhat, are you kidding? You're a semi-pro.SHELDONNo. We are committing genetic fraud. There's no guarantee that our sperm is going to generatehigh-IQ offspring. Think about that. I have a sister with the same basic DNA mix who hostesses at Fuddruckers.LEONARDSheldon, this was your idea. Alittle extra money to getfractional T1 bandwidth in the apartment.SHELDONI know, and I do yearn for faster downloads. But there's some poor woman who's gonna pin her hopes on my sperm. What if she winds up with a toddler who doesn't know if he should use an integral or a differential to solve the area under a curve?LEONARDI'm sure she'll still love him.SHELDONI wouldn't.LEONARDWell, what do you want to do?SHELDONI want to leave.LEONARDOkay.SHELDONWhat's the protocol for leaving?LEONARDI don't know. I've never reneged ona proffer of sperm before.SHELDONLet's try just walking out.LEONARDOkay.ALTHEABye.SHELDON, LEONARDBye.LEONARDNice meeting you.SHELDONAre you still mad about the sperm bank?LEONARDNo.SHELDONYou wanna hear an interesting thing about stairs?LEONARDNot really.SHELDONIf the height of a single step is off by as little as twomillimeters, most people will trip.LEONARDI don't care. Two millime...? That doesn't seem right.SHELDONNo, it's true, I did a series of experiments when I was 12. Myfather broke his clavicle.LEONARDIs that why they sent you to boarding school?SHELDONNo. That was a result of my work with lasers.LEONARDNew neighbor?SHELDONEvidently.LEONARDSignificant improvement over theold neighbor.SHELDONTwo-hundred pound transvestite with a skin condition? Yes, she is.PENNYOh, hi.LEONARDHi.SHELDONHi.LEONARDHi.SHELDONHi.PENNYHi?LEONARDWe don't mean to interrupt. We live across the hall.PENNYOh, that's nice.LEONARDOh, no. We don't live together. I mean...LEONARDWe live together, but in separate, heterosexual bedrooms.PENNYOh. Okay, well, guess I'm your new neighbor. Penny.LEONARDLeonard. Sheldon.PENNYHi.LEONARDHi.SHELDONHi.PENNYHi.LEONARDHi. Well... ah... Oh, welcome tothe building.PENNYOh, Thank you. Maybe we can have coffee sometime.LEONARDOh, great.PENNYGreat.SHELDONGreat.LEONARDGreat.LEONARDWell, ah, bye.PENNYBye.SHELDONBye.LEONARDBye. Should we have invited her for lunch?SHELDONNo, we're gonna start season two of …Battlestar Galactica“.LEONARDWe already watched the season two DVDs.SHELDONNot with commentary.LEONARDI think we should be good neighbors, invite her over, make her feel welcome.SHELDONWe never invited Louie-slash-Louise over.LEONARDWell, and that was wrong of us. We need to widen our circle.SHELDONI have a very wide circle. I have 212 friends on …MySpace“.LEONARDYes, and you've never met one of them.SHELDONThat's the beauty of it.LEONARDI'm gonna invite her over. We'll have a nice meal and... chat.SHELDONChat? We don't chat. At least not off-line.LEONARDWell, it's not difficult. You just listen to what she says and then you say something appropriate in response.SHELDONTo what end?LEONARDHi. Again.PENNYHi.SHELDONHi.LEONARDHi.PENNYHi.LEONARDAnyway... um... We brought home Indian food. And... um... I know that moving can be stressful and I find that when I'm undergoing stress, that good food and company can have a comforting effect. Also, curry is a natural laxative and I don't have to tell you that, you know, a clean colon is just... one less thing to worry about.SHELDONLeonard, I'm no expert here, but I believe in the context of a luncheon invitation, you might want to skip the reference to bowel movements.PENNYOh, you're inviting me over to eat?LEONARDUh, yes.PENNYOh, that's so nice. I'd love to.LEONARDGreat.PENNYSo, what do you guys do for fun around here?SHELDONWell, today we tried masturbating for money.============================================ THEME SONG ===========================================LEONARDOkay, well, make yourself at home.PENNYOkay. Thank you.LEONARDYou're very welcome.SHELDON[mouths: You're very welcome.]PENNYThis looks like some serious stuff. Leonard, did you do this?SHELDONActually, that's my work.PENNYWow.SHELDONYeah, well, it's just some quantum mechanics with a little string theory doodling around the edges. That part there, that's just a joke. It's a spoof of the Born-Oppenheimer approximation.PENNYSo you're like one of those …Beautiful Mind“ genius guys.SHELDONYeah.PENNYThis is really impressive.LEONARDI have a board. If you like boards, this is my board.PENNYHoly smokes.SHELDONIf by …holy smokes“, you mean a derivative restatement of the kind of stuff you can find scribbled on the wall of any men's room at MIT, sure.LEONARDWhat?SHELDONOh, come on. Who hasn't seen this differential below …here I sit broken-hearted“?LEONARDAt least I didn't have to invent 26 dimensions just to make the math come out.SHELDONI didn't invent them. They're there.LEONARDIn what universe?SHELDONIn all of them, that is the point.PENNYAh, do you guys mind if I start?SHELDONUm, Penny.PENNYYeah?SHELDONThat's where I sit.PENNYSo sit next to me.SHELDONNo, I sit there.PENNYWhat's the difference?SHELDONWhat's the difference?LEONARDHere we go.SHELDONIn the winter, that seat is close enough to the radiator to remain warm, and yet not so close as to cause perspiration. In the summer, it's directly in the path of across-breeze created by openingwindows there and there. It faces the television at an angle that is neither direct, thus discouraging conversation, nor so far wide as to create a parallax distortion. I could go on, but... I think I've made my point.PENNYDo you want me to move?SHELDONWell...LEONARDJust sit somewhere else.SHELDONFine.LEONARDSheldon, sit!SHELDONAh.LEONARDWell, this is nice. We don't have a lot of company over.SHELDONThat's not true. Koothrappali and Wolowitz come over all the time.LEONARDYes, I know, but...SHELDONTuesday night, we played …Klingon Boggle“ until one in the morning.LEONARDYeah, I remember.SHELDONI resent you saying we don't have company.LEONARDI'm sorry.SHELDONThat is a negative social implications.LEONARDI said I'm sorry!PENNYSo... …Klingon Boggle“?LEONARDYeah. It's like regular …Boggle“, but in …Klingon“. That's probablyenough about us. So, tell us about you.PENNYUm, me? Okay. I'm a Sagittarius, which probably tells you way more than you need to know.SHELDONYes, it tells us that youparticipate in the mass cultural delusion that the sun's apparent position relative to arbitrarily defined constellations at the time of your birth somehow affects your personality.PENNYParticipate in the what?LEONARDI think what Sheldon's trying to say is that Sagittarius wouldn't have been our first guess.PENNYOh, yeah, a lot of people think I'm a water sign. Okay, let's see, what else. Oh, I'm a vegetarian. No, except for fish and the occasional steak. I love steak!SHELDONWell, that's interesting. Leonard can't process corn.LEONARDAh, so, do you have some sort of a job?PENNYOh, yeah. I'm a waitress at …The Cheesecake Factory“.LEONARDOh, I love cheesecake.SHELDONYou're lactose-intolerant.LEONARDI don't eat it, I just think it's a good idea.PENNYOh, anyways, I'm also writing a screenplay.It's about thissensitive girl who comes to L.A. from Lincoln, Nebraska, to be an actress an winds up a waitress at …The Cheesecake Factory“.LEONARDSo it's based on your life.PENNYNo, I'm from Omaha.LEONARDWell, if that was movie, I would go see it.PENNYI know, right? Okay, let's see, what else? Um, I guess that's about it. That's the story of Penny.LEONARDWell, it sounds wonderful.PENNYIt was. Until I fell in love with a jerk.SHELDONWhat's happening?LEONARD[mouths: I don't know.]PENNYOh, God, you know, four years I lived with him. Four years. That's like as long as high school.SHELDONIt took you four years to get through high school?PENNYIt just... I can't believe Itrusted him.LEONARDShould I say something? I feel like I should say something.SHELDONYou? No, you'll only make it worse.PENNYYou wanna know the most pathetic part? Even though I hate his lying, cheating guts... I still love him. Is that crazy?SHELDONYes.LEONARDNo, it's not crazy. It's a, a...it's a paradox. Paradoxes are part of nature. Think about light. If you look at Huygens, light is a wave, as confirmed by the double-slit experiments, but then along comes Albert Einstein and discovers that light behaves like particles,too. Well, I didn't make it worse.PENNYOh, I'm so sorry. I'm such a mess. And on top of everything else, I'm all gross from moving and my stupid shower doesn't even work.LEONARDOur shower works.PENNYReally? Would it be totally weirdif I used it?SHELDONYes.LEONARDNo.SHELDONNo?LEONARDNo.SHELDONNo.LEONARDIt's right down the hall.PENNYOkay, thanks. You guys are really sweet.SHELDONWell, this is an interesting development.LEONARDHow so?SHELDONIt has been some time since we've had a woman take her clothes off in our apartment.LEONARDThat's not true. Remember at Thanksgiving, my grandmother with Alzheimer's had that episode?SHELDONPoint taken. It has been some time since we've had a woman take her clothes off, after which we didn't wanna rip our eyes out.LEONARDThe worst part was watchingher carve that turkey.SHELDONSo, what exactly are you trying to accomplish here?LEONARDExcuse me?SHELDONThat woman in there is not goingto have sex with you.LEONARDWell, I'm not trying to have sex with her.SHELDONOh, good. Then you won't be disappointed.LEONARDWhat makes you think she wouldn't have sex with me? I'm a male and she's a female.SHELDONYes, but not of the same species.LEONARDI'm not going to engage in hypotheticals here. I'm just trying to be a good neighbor.SHELDONOh, of course.LEONARDThat's not to say that if a carnal relationship were to develop, that I wouldn't participate. However briefly.SHELDONDo you think this possibilitywill be helped or hindered when she discovers your Luke Skywalker …no more tears“ shampoo?LEONARDIt's Darth Vader shampoo. Luke Skywalker is the conditioner.HOWARDWait till you see this.RAJESHIt's fantastic. Unbelievable.LEONARDSee what?HOWARDIt's a Stephen Hawking lecturefrom MIT in 1974.LEONARDThis isn't a good time.HOWARDIt's before he became a creepy computer voice.LEONARDThat's great, you guys have to go.RAJESHWhy?LEONARDIt's just not a good time.SHELDONLeonard has a lady over.HOWARDYeah, right. Your grandmother back in town?LEONARDNo. And she's not a lady, she'sjust a new neighbor.HOWARDHang on, there really is a lady here?LEONARDUh-huh.HOWARDAnd you want us out because you're anticipating coitus?LEONARDI'm not anticipating coitus.HOWARDSo she's available for coitus?LEONARDCan we please just stop saying …coitus“?SHELDONTechnically, that would be coitus interruptus.PENNYHey, is there a trick to getting it to switch from tub to shower? Oh, hi, sorry. Hello.HOWARDEnchanté, mademoiselle. Howard Wolowitz, CalTech department of Applied Physics. You may befamiliar with some of my work. It's currently orbiting Jupiter'slargest moon taking high-resolution digital photographs.PENNYPenny. I work at …The Cheesecake Factory“.LEONARDCome on, I'll show you the trick with the shower.HOWARDBonne douche.PENNYI'm sorry?HOWARDIt's French for …good shower“. It's a sentiment I can expressin six languages.LEONARDSave it for your blog, Howard.HOWARD[speaks in foreign language]LEONARDAll right, there it goes. Itsticks. I'm sorry.PENNYOkay, thanks.LEONARDYou're welcome. Oh, you're just gonna step right...? Okay, I'll...PENNYHey, Leonard?LEONARDThe hair products are Sheldon's.PENNYOkay. Um, can I ask you a favor?LEONARDA favor? Sure, you can ask me a favor. I would do you a favor for you.PENNYIt's okay if you say no.LEONARDOh, I'll probably say yes.PENNYIt's just not the kind of thing you ask a guy you just met.LEONARDWow.SHELDONI really think we should examinethe chain of causality here.LEONARDMust we?SHELDONEvent A: A beautiful woman stands naked in our shower. Event B: We drive halfway across town toretrieve a television set from the aforementioned woman's ex-boyfriend. Query: On what plane of existence is there even a semi-rational link between these events?LEONARDShe asked me to do her a favor, Sheldon.SHELDONAh, yes. Well, that may be the proximal cause of our journey, but we both know it only exists in contradistinction to the higher-level distal cause.LEONARDWhich is?SHELDONYou think with your penis.LEONARDThat's a biological impossibility and you didn't have to come.SHELDONOh, right, yes. I could have stayed behind and watched Wolowitz try to hit on Penny in Russian, Arabic and Farsi. Why can't she get her own TV?LEONARDCome on, you know how it is with breakups.SHELDONNo, I don't, and neither do you.LEONARDBut I... I broke up with Joyce Kim.SHELDONYou did not break up with Joyce Kim. She defected to North Korea.LEONARDTo mend her broken heart. This situation is much less complicated.There's some kind of disputebetween Penny and her ex-boyfriend as to who gets custody of the TV. She just wanted to avoid having a scene with him.SHELDONSo we get to have a scene with him?LEONARDNo, Sheldon, there's not going to be a scene. There's two of us and one of him.SHELDONLeonard, the two of us can't even carry a TV.PENNYSo you guys work with Leonardand Sheldon at the University? I... I'm sorry, do you speak English?HOWARDOh, he speaks English. He justcan't speak to women.PENNYReally? Why?HOWARDHe's kind of a nerd. Juice box?LEONARDI'll do the talking.KURTYeah?LEONARDAh, hi. I'm Leonard, this is Sheldon.SHELDONHello.LEONARDWhat did I just... Ah, we're hereto pick up Penny's TV.KURTGet lost.SHELDONOkay, thanks for you time.LEONARDWe're not going to give up justlike that.SHELDONLeonard, the TV's in the building. We've been denied access to the building, ergo, we are done.LEONARDExcuse me. If I were to give up on the first little hitch, I never would have been able to identifythe fingerprints of string theoryin the aftermath of the big bang.SHELDONMy apologies. What's your plan?It's just a privilege to watchyour mind at work.LEONARDCome on, we have a combined IQ of 360. We should be able to figureout how to get into a stupid building.SHELDONWhat do you think their combined IQ is?LEONARDJust grab the door. This is it.I'll do the talking.SHELDONGood thinking, I'll just be the muscle.KURTYeah?LEONARDI'm Leonard, this is Sheldon.SHELDONFrom the intercom.KURTHow the hell did you get in the building?LEONARDOh. We're scientists.SHELDONTell him about our IQ. Leonard.LEONARDWhat?SHELDONMy mom bought me those pants.LEONARDI'm sorry.SHELDONYou're gonna have to call her.LEONARDSheldon, I am so sorry I draggedyou through this.SHELDONIt's okay. It wasn't my first pantsing and it won't be my last.LEONARDAnd you were right about my motives. I was hoping to establisha relationship with Penny that might have someday led to sex.SHELDONWell, you got me out of my pants.LEONARDAnyway, I've learned my lesson.She's out of my league, I'm done with her. Got my work. One day I'll win the Nobel Prize and then I'll die alone.SHELDONDon't think like that. You're not going to die alone.LEONARDThank you, Sheldon. You're a good friend.SHELDONYou're certainly not gonna win a Nobel Prize.HOWARDThis is one of my favorite placesto kick back after a quest. They have a great house ale.PENNYWow, cool tiger.HOWARDYeah, I've had him since level 10. His name is Buttons. Anyway, if you had your own game character wecould hang out, maybe go on a quest.PENNYThat sounds interesting.HOWARDSo you'll think about it?PENNYOh, I don't think I'll be able to stop thinking about it.RAJESHSmooth.LEONARDWe're home.PENNYOh, my God, what happened?LEONARDWell, your ex-boyfriend sends his regards. And I think the rest is fairly self-explanatory.PENNYI'm so sorry. I really thought if you guys went instead of me he wouldn't be such an ass.LEONARDNo, it was a valid hypothesis.SHELDONThat was a valid hypo...? What is happening to you?PENNYReally, thank you so much for going and trying. You're just... You're so terrific. Really. Why don't you put some clothes on, I'll get my purse, and dinner is on me, okay?LEONARDReally? Great.SHELDONThank you. You're not done with her, are you?LEONARDOur babies will be smart and beautiful.SHELDONNot to mention imaginary.LEONARDIs Thai food okay with you, Penny?PENNYSure.SHELDONWe can't have Thai food, we had Indian for lunch.PENNYSo?SHELDONThey're both curry-based cuisines.PENNYSo?SHELDONThat would be gastronomically redundant. I can see we're going to21. have to spell out everything forthis girl.PENNYAny ideas, Raj?HOWARDTurn left on Lake Street and headup to Colorado. I know a wonderfullittle sushi bar that has karaoke.PENNYOh, that sounds like fun.HOWARD[starts singing: …Baby Don't GetHooked On Me“]SHELDONI don't know what your odds are inthe world as a whole, but as far asthe population of this car goes,you're a veritable mac daddy.THE END。

哇谢尔顿真不敢相信你居然自创了游戏Wow, Sheldon, I cannot believe you made up your own game. "研究实验室"可不仅仅是游戏Oh, "Research Lab" is more than a game.就像这标语写的"物理虽然只存在于理论中It's like the slogan says: "The physics is theoretical,但其中的快乐却是实实在在的"but the fun is real."那我们现在肯定玩的不对We must not be playing it right.好五All right, five.一二三四五One, two, three, four, five.喔看呐Oh, wow, look at that.我的国防部科研资金再度下拨My Department of Defense research grant is renewed.掷得好Oh! Great roll!现在你可以拆了你的苏式回旋加速器Now you can demolish your Soviet-style cyclotron然后建造一个大型强子对撞机and build the large Hadron Collider.吔Yay.你玩这个很有天赋佩妮You're a natural at this, Penny.作为首批第二版测试者你们会在周日And as the first beta testers, you two'll have quite the edge 与沃罗威茨和库萨帕里的对决上获得不小优势when we play with Wolowitz and Koothrappali on Sunday. 天呐谢尔顿Oh, gee, Sheldon,我不认为我们周日能来玩I don't think we can play on Sunday.为什么Why not?原因佩妮现在告诉你Because of the reasons that Penny will now tell you.佩妮Penny?事实上我要去机场接我的朋友贾斯汀Actually, I have to pick up my friend Justin from the airport.听到了吧她必须去机场接她的朋友贾斯汀There you go-- she has to pick up her friend Justin at the airport. 而且我玩不了因为我要和她一起去对吗And I can't play 'cause I'm going with her-- right?对如果你想的话Um, yeah, if you want.我是说车子也许没有空间了I mean, there may not be room.他带了好多东西比如吉他和放大器什么的He's got a lot of stuff--like guitars and amplifiers...等等Wait.你在说什么呢What are you talking about?我朋友贾斯汀My friend Justin.注意力集中点莱纳德Pay attention, Leonard.这是她周日不能来的原因That's why she can't play on Sunday.这个贾斯汀是谁Who is this Justin?-到你了莱纳德-我跟你提过他- Your turn, Leonard. - I told you about him.-你没有-掷骰子莱纳德- No, you didn't. - Roll the dice, Leonard.有的我一个来自奥马哈并玩吉他的朋友{\c plays the guitar.不论如何他要来洛杉矶找些演奏的工作Anyway, he's coming to L.A. looking for some session work, 所以我跟他说可以在我家的沙发上睡几个星期so I told him he could just crash on my couch for a few weeks. 快点莱纳德如果你掷了六Come on, Leonard--if you roll a six,佩妮就会在核外泄中惨死Penny dies horribly in a nuclear meltdown.明白我为什么说乐趣是实实在在的了吗See what I mean when I say the fun is real?等等Hang on.某男要去睡你的沙发Some guy is going to be sleeping on your couch?他不是"某男"He's not "some guy."他是我朋友He's my friend.你说的"朋友" 是指"朋友般的朋友"So by "friend," do you mean "friend friend," "同性恋朋友"还是"gay friend," or "ex-boyfriend"前男友兼现在你正柏拉图式暗恋"who you're now platonic with且有可能发生关系的朋友"but still might have a thing for you friend"? 他肯定不是同性恋Well, he's definitely not gay.肯定不是同性恋的音乐人Oh, ho-ho, a definitely not gay musician睡在我女朋友的沙发上sleeping on my girlfriend's couch.真开心Yippee.好吧我们很久之前是曾经拍拖过Okay, we went out a little bit, a long time ago. 但绝对不是正在拍拖But we were never like "going out."不是为了表示我很有学问但是上一次我查证Okay, not to be pedantic, but last I checked"曾经拍拖"实际上是"正在拍拖的"过去式"went out" was in fact the past tense of "going out"-- 并且地球人都知道这是"坦诚相见"的which I think we all know is a popular euphemism委婉说法for "saw each other naked."干脆我来替你掷好了I'll just roll for you.你对贾斯汀跟我住有意见吗Do you have a problem with Justin staying with me? 你当初是怎么想的What was your first clue?糟糕工业事故Uh-oh! Industrial accident.告诉你跟我说话的时候别把我当白痴You know what? Don't talk to me like I'm an idiot.我跟你说话时没把你当做白痴I'm not talking to you like you're an idiot!我是说这整件事很愚蠢I'm saying the whole idea is idiotic!"你一不小心直视氦氩激光"You accidentally stare at a helium-argon laser.暂停一轮并失去一只眼睛的视网膜"Lose one turn and a retina."难道你不是把我当白痴How is that not talking to me like I'm an idiot?那是我的朋友我的沙发It's my friend, it's my couch,是我TM自己的生活and it's my freakin' life!也到你掷骰子了It's also your roll.没错那是你的生活You know what? It is your life.你要是想让什么狗屁吉他手睡你的沙发上随你If you want to have some stupid guitarist stay on your couch, then fine! 那你干嘛不租几张Why don't you just rent双层床然后把黑眼豆豆请来some bunk beds and invite The Black Eyed Peas?!听着如果我想邀请整个洛拉帕罗扎音乐节的Hey, if I want to invite the entire lineup of Lollapalooza阵容来我公寓睡觉我绝对会的to sleep in my apartment, I will,而且这与你无关and it's none of your business!你在听自己都说了些什么吗Are you listening to yourself?你知道你现在听起来是多么的小孩子气吗Do you know how childish you sound right now? 哦现在我变小孩子了Oh, now I'm a child?至少我再也不是白痴了Well, at least I'm not an idiot anymore!这两个词可不是互斥的The two aren't mutually exclusive!你真是个...Oh, you are such a--他这是TMD在干嘛呢What the hell is he doing?!他要把我们逼出去He's drowning us out.他不喜欢吵架He doesn't like fighting.谢尔顿快停下来吵架结束了Sheldon, just stop! Look, the fight is over!还有仅供参考Oh, and FYI,你在遇到我之前根本就没听说过you never even heard of The Black Eyed Peas黑眼豆豆until you met me!我听说过他们I heard of 'em!只不过不知道他们是个组合罢了Didn't know they were a band.谢尔顿她已经走了Sheldon, she's gone.你可以关掉搅拌机了You can turn off the blender.你的恋爱关系已经到了一定要丑陋结束的地步吗Has your relationship reached its inevitable ugly end? 不我们只是有了点小争执No, we just had a little spat.往好的一面想想Look on the bright side.作为对佩妮的惩罚As a result of Penny's forfeit你成为了世界首位"研究实验室"的胜者you have become the world's first winner of "Research Lab." 你要来份纪念沙冰吗Would you like a commemorative snow cone?我真不明白她怎么就这么直接宣布I don't get how she can just announce她的前男友要来睡她沙发上that an old boyfriend is going to be sleeping on her couch. 我想到了一个在车里能玩的游戏Hey, I thought of a game we can play in the car.我不想玩游戏谢尔顿I don't want to play a game, Sheldon.游戏名字叫"科学家"It's called "Scientists."现在我会说出三个科学家的名字Now, I will name three scientists,然后你对他们排序then you will put them in order根据他们对各自领域的贡献大小of the size of their contribution to their respective fields.为了让这个游戏更有趣To make this game even more compelling,你必须只考虑这个人you must consider only the contribution对这个领域做出的贡献of the man to the field,不论这个领域的理论到底是对是错not the validity of the field itself.比如说阿布·穆萨·贾比尔·伊本·哈扬For example: Abu Musa Jabir ibn Hayyan对臭名昭著的炼金术做出的贡献made a greater contribution to the discredited field of alchemy 比霍伯特·范德普莱特在神经生物学中的贡献要大得多than Halbert Vanderplatt made to neurobiology.好了准备好来点乐子了吗Okay, ready to have some fun?一个绝对不是同性恋的前男友An old boyfriend who's definitely not gay.还是人们最喜欢听的-- "绝对的"That's what a guy likes to hear-- "definitely."好的我先来个简单的All right, I'll start with an easy one:艾萨克·牛顿居里夫人和尼尔斯·玻尔Um, Isaac Newton, Madame Curie and Niels Bohr.然后我只说了一点点最后却成了坏人And then I say one little thing and I end up being the bad guy! 提示居里夫人有她的丈夫帮她Hint: Madame Curie had her husband to help her.我能说什么What am I supposed to say?当然佩妮你让旧相好在家过夜"Sure, Penny, I'm cool with your old boyfriend我完全没意见sleeping in your apartment."莱纳德你有没有意见不重要"Well, Leonard, it doesn't matter if you're cool or not因为本美女佩妮"because I'm Penny and I'm pretty喜欢干啥就干啥and I can do whatever the hell I want!"我懂了"Oh, I get it!你觉得和我在一起"You think you're doing me a favor just by只是在同情我being in a relationship with me!"不莱纳德我能跟你同处一室"No, no, Leonard! I'doing you a favor就已经是同情你了just by being in the same room as you!"莱纳德停车Leonard! Stop the car!怎么了What?我不想再听你们吵架了I can't listen to the two of you fight anymore.快速度要迟到了Come on, come on, we're late.淡定我们能赶上电影Calm down. We'll make the movie.根据现在的情况我的警告是对的I believe my alarm is appropriate,given the situation. 电影17分钟后开始The movie starts in 17 minutes,也就是说我们得赶上科罗拉多大道的全部绿灯which means we'll need to make all the lights而且不能去买东西吃了on Colorado Boulevard, plus skip the concession stand, 开场前也不能去尿尿了and preshow urination.兄台我刚灌下一瓶红牛时Oh, dude, I wish you had said something你咋不说话before I pounded that last Red Bull.走恐龙战队快Go, go, Power Rangers, go!嘿Hey.嘿Hey.我们赶着去看电影We're, uh, going to the movies.才怪No, we're not.我们站在走廊里We're standing in the hallway,忍受你们尴尬的相遇suffering through an awkward encounter.等一下Hang on.新的《时光大盗》今天开映They're showing a new digital print of Time Bandits. 你不会想看的对吧You wouldn't want to come, would you?一点都不想Not really, no.好了毫无意义的邀请说了All right, invitation pointlessly offered,不出意料地被谢绝了invitation declined as expected,大家都很文明没有人吵架everyone's civil, nobody's fighting.晚上愉快Have a nice evening.就给我们一分钟Just give us a minute.你们慢慢谈Oh, take all the time you need.我们要不要谈谈昨晚的事So, are we going to talk about last night?你准备道歉了吗Are you ready to apologize?不No.答案错误Wrong answer.谢谢参与But thank you for playing.拜托Oh, come on.这也太傻逼了This is stupid.又来了Oh, there it is again!你觉得我很傻逼You think I'm stupid!不人傻和行为愚蠢No, there's a difference是不一样的between being stupid and acting stupid. 是吗那混球和混蛋Oh, yeah? well, there's a difference也很不一样呢between being a jerk and being an ass!才怪No, there isn't!两个是同义词They're synonyms!场面相当不愉快啊Well, that was rather unpleasant.开场前我都不用尿尿了Yeah, I don't think I need my preshow urination anymore. 莱纳德那女的三年前搬进来时Leonard, when that woman moved in three years ago,我就告诉你不要搭理她现在好了I told you not to talk to her, and now look,电影我们是迟到定了we're going to be late for the movies.哟《神奇蜘蛛侠》183Hey! Look! Amazing Spider-Man 183.买了Got it.记得这本吗Remember this one?蜘蛛侠之一败涂地Spider-Man loses a big fight接着女朋友还跟他分手了and then his girl friend breaks up with him.要我买给你吗Want me to get it for you?能帮你转移一下注意力It'll help take your mind off things.伙计们怎么回事Hey, guys. What's going on?等下一场《时光大盗》放映前Oh, we need to kill a couple hours我们得在这消磨几小时till the next showing of Time Bandits.没问题Oh, well,no problem.我还想早点打烊回家I was thinking of closing early and going home, 但面对现实吧but let's face it,我家也只不过是间小一点的that's just a slightly smaller lonely room堆满漫画书的孤舍filled with comic book谢谢斯图尔特Thanks, Stuart.我问你Let me ask you something.你觉得佩妮让老相好Do you think it's okay for Penny在自己家过夜合适吗to have an ex-boyfrid sleep on her couch?当然不好她明显太过分了No, I mean, she's obviousl way out of line.谢谢Thank you!但如果她把你甩了But if she dumps you,她第二天就能找个新欢she'll have a new boyfrien by tomorrow morning 而你得想办法自己做一个娃娃and you'll have a new girl friend才能算有新欢when you figure out how to build one.唯一的疑问是你什么时候才举白旗So the only question is: how long until you fold? 我才不会举白旗I am not going to fold.等等我不觉得Well, excuse me, I don't think佩妮有丝毫过分之处Penny's out of line at all.她又不是你的人You don't own her.正如我的女神碧昂斯说的It's like my girl Beyonce says:你要是喜欢塔就该向他求婚"If you like it, you should put a ring on it."得了吧Come on.最起码At the very least,佩妮发现莱纳德为此不高兴when she found out Leonard was upset about it, 她就应该退让she should've backed off.你是说正如某人不高兴You mean like when a guy's upset因为他朋友答应和他去上烹饪课because his friend agreed to take a cooking class with him结果却放鸽子and then doesn't show up因为他正和他妈进行果蔬汁断食because he's doing a juice fast with his mother?我不知道你为此不高兴I didn't know you were upset about that.是嘛难道所有的暗示你都没看到Really! Did you miss all the subtitle indicators,比如"霍华德我不高兴"like me saying, "Howard, I am upset."对不起行了吧Okay, sorry.或许在这个国家的意义不同Maybe it means something different in this country.在印度这表示我在生一个叫霍华德的小子的气Back in India, it means you're upset with a guy named Howard! 我道过歉了I said I'm sorry.道歉也弥补不了Sorry doesn't make up for the fact我得和一个素食者做鸡肉饭that I had to make chicken and rice with this vegan guy. 你知道素鸡肉饭是什么吗Do you know what vegan chicken and rice is?就是米饭Rice!你以为我就很开心吗Yeah, well, you think I was having fun,整晚坐着听我妈唠叨sitting around all night listening to my mother say,你这辈子尿过这么多吗"Have you ever peed so much in your life?"天啊你真是个恋娘狂Oh, my God, you are such a mama's boy.喂别把我妈扯进来Hey, don't bring my mother into this!你自己把她扯进来的You brought your mother into this!别吵了你们两个Stop it, both of you.听你们吵个不停All this fighting, I might as well简直就跟我爸妈一样"该死的乔治"be back with my parents! "Damn it, George,"我说过你要是再不戒酒我就离开你""I told you if you didn't quit drinkin' I'd leave you!" "这只能说明你是个骗子""Well, I guess that makes you a liar."我已经醉成这样你还没走""'Cause I'm drunk as hell and you're still here!" "别嚷了""Stop yelling!""谢尔顿快被你弄哭了""You're making Sheldon cry!""告诉你谢尔顿为什么哭吧""I'll tell you what's making Sheldon cry!"因为我让你给他起了这个破名儿"That I let you name him Sheldon"老天他干嘛这么生气Boy, what got him so upset?当然了谢尔顿生气你倒能看出来了Oh, sure, you can tell when Sheldon's upset.多谢惠顾Oh, thank you very much.欢迎下次光临Come back soon.还有下次多给一半小费With the other half of my tip.嗨谢尔顿Hey, Sheldon.你怎么在这儿What are you doing here?这是家餐馆This is a restaurant.而现在午餐时间It's lunchtime.我认为作为一名女招待I would think, as a waitress,应该很熟悉这套程序了you'd be familiar withhe paradigm. 莱纳德来吗Is Leonard coming?不来我相信他正在等着你No, I believe Leonard is waiting回心转意并向他道歉呢for yo to come crawling back to him and apologize.这绝不可能Well, that's not gonna happen.我猜也是I assumed that would be your attitude.所以我才因此到这儿来Hence, my true purpose coming here.-啥-我要你回心转意去向他道歉- Which is? - I want you to crawl back to him and apologize. 我忙呢I'm busy.不好意思小姐Excuse me, Miss.我想要点餐I'like to order lunch.说你要啥Fine. What do you want?我有些疑问I have a few questions.我先是注意到你们这有汤和半份三明治First, I notice that you offer soup and a half-sandwich?没错Yes.半份三明治到底是怎么做的Where exactly does the half-sandwich come from? 你是给我另一个人吃剩下的呢Are you giving me half of someone else's sandwich, 还是我非要等到or do I have to wait另一个想点的人出现for someone else in the restaurant再和他一起合点呢to order the other half?不谢尔顿他们只是做出来而已No, no, Sheldon, they just make a half-sandwich. 你没法做出半份三明治You can't make a half-sandwich.如果是整个三明治的一半If it's t half of a whole sandwich,那应该是个小号三明治it's just a small sandwich.得了汤和小号三明治Okay, fine, it's soup and a small sandwich.你要点这些吗that what you want?当然不我还是老样子Of course not. I'll have my usual.好Great.你不问我是否要饮料了吗Aren't you going to ask me if I want a beverage? 你不是一直都喝柠檬汁吗Don't you usually get lemonade?-是-你要柠檬汁吗- Yes. - Do you want lemonade?-是-还需要什么吗- Yes. - Anything else?当然我要你去向莱纳德道歉Yes-- I want you to apologize to Leonard.我绝不会去道歉I am not going to apologize.我又没错I've done nothing wrong.完全是他反应过度He is completely overreacting.这无关紧要Irrelevant.关键在于你们出了感情问题The disruption in your relaonship让我也难以忍受is making my life intolerable.抱歉谢尔顿但这真的与你无关Well, I'm sorry, Sheldon, but this really isn't about you. 我不懂I don't follow.我马上来ah, yeah, I'll be right there.听着谢尔顿我得走了Look, Sheldon, I have to go.好吧那我假设当然是谬误论证All right, let's assume, ad argumentum,在这情况下是莱纳德错了that in this case, Leonard is wrong.就是他的错Leonard is wrong.考虑到以前他对你的出轨行为Considering the number of transgressions视而不见的次数you've committed that he's overlooked,你就不能考虑下就这次Don't you think that, just this once,算是回报他吗you could return the favor?我就来I'm coming.再见谢尔顿Good-bye, Sheldon.什么叫我的出轨行为啥意思What do you mean, transgressions I've committed? 你还以为莱纳德Were you under the impression对你都毫无怨念吗that Leonard has no complaints about you?啥喂那边的我看到你了Like what?! Yeah, yeah, I see you.你对着空气划了一个勾You're making a little check sign in the air.知道了耐心点别吵I got it. Just hold you horses.莱纳德抱怨我什么What does Leonard complain about?你驾驶技术差劲Your driving.你床上的布绒玩偶太多了The plethora of stuffed animals on your bed两人亲热的时候一直盯着他that stare at him during your amorous activities.你老是迟到还有你的唱歌水平Your constant tardiness, your singing.我唱歌的水平My singing?这其实是我的看法之一That's actually from my list.但莱纳德会不同意我才怪呢But Leonard would be a fool if he didn't agree with it. 如果莱纳德对我有这么多意见Okay, if Leonard has so many problems with me,他干嘛不直接了当地说出来Why hasn't he just said so?因为在他看来Because, according to him你脾气大又容易动怒you're oversensitive and have a temper.是吗Oh, really?那拜托你帮个忙Well, then, do me a favor告诉莱纳德他好去死了and tell Leonard that he can drop dead!难怪她总是小费拿得少And she wonders why she's constantly undertipped. 好啊你回来了Oh, good, you're home.我要你帮我个忙I need you to do ma favor.说吧Sure.去向佩妮道歉Go apologize to Penny.-啥-最好现在就去- What?! - Right now would be good.莱纳德Leonard!好吧其实应该更早一点去Although, a few minutes ago would have been better. 听说你不喜欢我床上的布绒玩偶I hear you don't like我的驾驶技术和我的准时程度My stuffed animals, my driving or my punctuality.啥谁告诉你的What? Who would tell you something like that?你干嘛告诉她Why would you tell her something like that?他为什么告诉我不重要It doesn't matter why he told me.但这些都是真的是吗It's true, isn't it?没错是真的Okay, yeah, it's true,但这些我都可以忍受but I can live with that stuff.但我不能忍受你事先不和我商量What I can't live with is you casually informing me只是随意地知会我一声说that some guy's going to be staying your apartment有个男人要住在你公寓里wiout even asking me first!问题不在于此That isn't your problem!而在于你不信任我Your problem is you don't trust me!得了吧Oh, come on.谢尔顿你啥时有听我说过Sheldon, have you ever once heard me say 我不信任佩妮了that I don't trust Penny?谢尔顿他去哪儿了Sheldon? Where did he go?你大吼大叫Oh, your yelling一定又把他吓跑了Must have freaked him out again.你去哪儿Where are you going?!我们吵到一半You just walk away-你就这么一走了之吗-才不是- In the middle of aargument?! - No.我要去找你那天杀的室友I'm going to go find your damn roommate免得他做出伤害自己的傻事before he hurts himself例如乱穿马路之类的trying to cross the street something!你干嘛不早说Why didn't you say so?连这也要得到你允许吗Oh, now I need your permission for that, too?! 我怎么知道你在想啥佩妮Well, I can't read your mind, Penny!真的吗怎么会呢Really? Why not?反正你这么聪明而我又这么蠢You're so smart, and I'm so dumb!拉杰Raj?拉杰Raj?拉杰Raj?别敲了门开着Stop knocking! It's open!请告诉我父母我的暗物质研究Please tell my parents that our Dark Matter research正在节骨眼上我不能回家Is at a critical juncture, and I can't come home去参加我表弟桑杰的婚礼For my cousin Sanjay's wedding.谢尔顿Sheldon问问我们儿子我们要怎么跟切尔迪夫妇交待Ask our son what we're supposed to say to Mr. and Mrs. Cheldry 他们的女儿拉克希米可是特地从伦敦飞回Whose daughter, Lakshmi is flying in from London,唯一的目的就是跟他见面相亲For the sole purpose of meeting him.我又没让你们撮合我和拉克希米I didn't ask you to set me up with Lakshmi.你该感谢我们You should be thanking us!是的拉克希米才刚切去了部分胃kshmi just got her stomach stapled.你有机会趁她减完肥找回自尊之前You have an opportunity to get in good with her赶紧跟她搞好关系Before she loses weight, and her self-esteem goes up.我不在乎I don't care!为嘛你们就不信我能自己找到另一半And why don't you think I can find a woman for myself? 因为你都27了Because you're 27你身边看着最像我们儿媳妇的And the closest thing we have to a daughter-in-law就是那个犹太男孩霍华德Is that Jewish boy Howard.你们这是恶意中伤Oh..that is completely below the belt.谢尔顿来告诉我父母我和霍华德只是朋友Sheldon,tell my parents that Howard and I are just friends. 谢尔顿Sheldon?我和霍华德只是朋友Howard and I are just friends!好吧我会回家出席桑杰的婚礼Fine. I'll come home for Sanjay's wedding.谢尔顿Sheldon?!你这是干嘛What are you doing?他又不是走失的小狗He's not a lost dog.干嘛不干脆让我来找他Hey, why don't you just let me find him你就坐这儿踩着你那想象中的刹车While you sit there hitting your imaginary brake? 那刹车或许是我想象出来的The brake might be imaginary,但你刚刚闯的那个红灯不是But that stop sign you just ran wasn't.哪个红灯What stop sign?看前面看前面Eyes on the road. Eyes on the road!霍华德去应门我在忙Howard, answer the door! I'm busy!我也在忙你去应门I'm busy, too! You answer it.我不能我在上厕所I can't! I'm on the toilet!天哪这种事就别告诉我了For God's sake, I don't need to hear that!你就不能就说一句"我在忙"吗Can't you just say, "I'm busy"?我说了但你不是还不满意吗I said I'm busy,but that was't good enough for you!我真希望是有人来入室抢劫You know what?I hope it's one of those home invasion deals, 然后照我头上给我一枪痛快And they shoot me in the head!如果真是入室抢劫的Well, if it's a home invader,别告诉他们我在上厕所Don't tell them I'm on the toilet!根本就没人There's no one there.你幻听了吗你个疯老婆子You're hearing things, you crazy old lady!斯图尔特见到谢尔顿了吗Hey, Stuart, have you seen Sheldon?对他就在那边漫画角Yeah, he's, uh, over in the graphic novel section.给自己造了个小窝Built himself a little nest.谢谢Thank you.-佩妮-有事吗- Uh, Penny? - Yeah?你们没事吧Is everything okay?你指什么What do you mean?谢尔顿告诉我你跟莱纳德吵架了Sheldon told me you and Leonard were having a fight? 对差不多吧Oh, yeah, kind of.没什么大事It's-It's no big thing.很好很好Oh, good, good.我爱你I love you.你不跟我讲话我是不会走的I'm not leaving until you talk to me.怎么回事All right, what's going on?这有点难解释他这么做It's a little hard to explain. He does this thing是假装他处于一个异次元中Where he pretends he's in an alternate dimension 虽然跟我们在同一物理空间That occupies the same physical space we're in, 但无法感知我们But he can't perceive us.你少臭美了我懒得理你而已Don't flatter yourself. I'm just ignoring you.拜托谢尔顿回家吧Come on, Sheldon, let's go home.看我们俩已经不吵了Look, we're done fighting.这话我听多了I've heard that before.但然后呢接下来But then, the next thing you know,我躲在自己卧室大声读着费曼(著名物理学家)的讲义I'm hiding in my bedroom,blaring a Richard Feynman lecture 而我妈则在吼叫着说她即使在我爸的烘肉卷里While my mom is shouting that Jesus would forgive her放上玻璃渣上帝也会原谅她的If she put ground glass in my dad's meatloaf.还有我爸站在屋顶上And my dad's on the roof skeet-shooting用我妈的富兰克林珍藏版碗碟玩双向飞碟射击Her Franklin Mint collectible plates.我们不会再吵嘴There's going to no more shouting也不会有人玩双向飞碟了And no skeet-shooting.真的Really?那你朋友贾斯汀要睡哪儿Where's your friend Justin going to sleep?对啊他要睡哪儿Yeah... where's he gonna sleep?我的天你们就不能忘了这茬吗Oh, my God, would you let this go?!要是我就会I'd let it go.干嘛要我忘了这茬Why should I let it go?干嘛不去跟那人说让他另外找地儿借宿Why don't you just tell the guy to find another place to sleep?! 上帝啊Oh, for God's sakes.我知道你有童年阴影So, you have childhood issues.我们都有童年阴影We all have childhood issues.有时候你能做的就是长大成熟克服他们At some point, you just need to grow up and get past them. 开火开火Fire! Fire!莱纳德让我来处理好吗Leonard, will you just let me handle this, please?-再次开火开火-先把这...- Again! Fire! Fire! - Let... just...Look...谢尔顿请你理解我们Sheldon, please, try and understand.我和莱纳德是在谈恋爱Look, Leonard and I are in a relationship,偶尔我们俩是会吵架And occasionally, we're going to fight.但不管我们俩之间怎么样But no matter what happens between us,我们会一直爱你到底We will always love you.对吗莱纳德Right, Leonard?一直是段漫长的时光Always is a long time.当然一直Sure. Always.我们给你买这个机器人好吗You know, how about we buy you this robot, 然后我们就一起回家And then we all go home?我想要那个I want that one.好就给你买那个Okay, you can have that one.拜托他就只会玩个两次Oh, come on, he's just going to play with it twice,然后就跟其他那些垃圾一起束之高阁了And then it'll end up in his closet with all the other junk. 莱纳德给他买这个机器人Buy him the robot, Leonard.还能给我买这本漫画吗Can I get this comic book, too?宝贝都给你买Yes, you can.又见面了Meet me again.你告诉贾斯汀不能借宿在你沙发上时So what did Justin say when you told him他怎么说He couldn't sleep on your couch?他是个音乐人He'a musician.不得已的话叫他睡自个儿的呕吐物里都成He's sleep in his own vomit, if he has to. 我真该叫他们买更多的I should have asked for much more不该被一本漫画一个机器人就打发了Than a comic book and a robot.。

生活大爆炸剧本《生活大爆炸》剧本，探索生活中的无限可能。

在这个充满无限可能的世界里，我们每个人都是生活大爆炸的主角。

生活就像一部精彩的剧本，每个人都有自己独特的角色和故事。

而《生活大爆炸》剧本正是我们生活中的精彩写照。

剧本的第一幕，我们看到了谢尔顿的理论物理学研究，莱纳德的天才科学家身份，霍华德的太空探索梦想，以及拉杰的天文学研究。

他们每个人都在自己的领域里努力探索，追求知识和真理。

他们的故事告诉我们，无论在何种领域，只要有热情和坚持，就能够创造出不可思议的成就。

第二幕，我们看到了彼此之间的友情和爱情。

谢尔顿和莱纳德的室友关系，霍华德和伯纳黛特的浪漫爱情，以及佩妮和莱纳德之间的跨越社会阶层的爱情。

他们的故事告诉我们，友情和爱情是生活中最珍贵的财富，它们能够给我们力量和勇气，让我们在困难时刻不至于孤独无助。

第三幕，我们看到了他们在生活中的挑战和困难。

谢尔顿的社交障碍，霍华德的母亲控制欲，以及莱纳德和佩妮之间的矛盾。

他们的故事告诉我们，生活中总会有挑战和困难，但只要我们勇敢面对，就一定能够找到解决的方法。

最后一幕，我们看到了他们在生活中的成长和收获。

谢尔顿学会了更加包容和理解他人，霍华德成为了宇航员，莱纳德和佩妮的爱情也迎来了婚姻。

他们的故事告诉我们，生活中的每一次成长和收获都是值得珍惜的，它们让我们变得更加坚强和成熟。

《生活大爆炸》剧本告诉我们，生活就像一部精彩的剧本，每个人都有自己的角色和故事。

无论在何种领域，无论遇到何种困难，我们都应该勇敢面对，努力探索生活中的无限可能。

因为只有这样，我们才能够创造出属于自己的精彩人生。

Big Bang Theory TranscriptsS3E17 – The Precious FragmentationScene: The stairwell. Leonard is carrying a large box.Leonard: Why do I always have to carry the heavy stuff?Sheldon: Well, it‟s very simple. In our ragtag band of scientists with nothing to lose, I‟m the smart one, Wolowitz is the funny one, and Koothrappali is the lovable foreigner who struggles to understand our ways and fails. That leaves you, by default, as the muscle.Leonard: One more floor, and I‟d be the pulled muscle.Penny (who is inside the apartment): Oh, it‟s about time, I‟m starving.Leonard:Uh, well, we didn‟t actually get Chinese food.Penny: Why not?Leonard:Don‟t panic, this is better.Penny:Oh, no, you didn‟t trade the food for magic beans, did you?Sheldon: Of course not. And, technically, magic beans would be food, although eating them would be quite a waste, since you could plant them and overnight have a giant beanstalk, which would provide enough roughage for a small city.Penny: Yeah, sometimes I don‟t listen, some times I just watch your jaw go up and down.Leonard: We were on our way to the Chinese restaurant when we thought we saw Adam West, so we followed him.Penny: Who‟s Adam West?Sheldon: Who‟s Adam West? Leonard, what do the two of you talk about after the c oitus?Howard:My guess is, “Hey, four minutes! New record!” That‟s why I‟m the funny one.Leonard: Anyway, we followed the guy to this garage sale, and they had the coolest stuff.Howard: They were closing up. We got this whole box for sixty bucks.Leonard:We didn‟t even get to go through it all. There could be anything in here.Penny: There a new girlfriend in there? …Cause you might need one.Leonard: No. But there is an original final draft Ghostbusters script with actual slime stains! (Raj whispers to Leonard) Oh, you‟re right, it‟s Ghostbusters 2. Never mind.Howard: Oh, my God. An Alf doll. When I was 11 my mother got me one to help me sleep after my dad left. I used to pretend that my dad had moved to the planet Melmac, and Alf was going to bring him back to me. But he never did. Where‟s my daddy, puppet? Where is he?Penny: That is so sad.Sheldon:No, what‟s sad is that you don‟t know Adam West was TV‟s Batman.Credits sequenceScene: The sameLeonard:Here‟s Spock‟s head with no body. Here‟s Mr. T‟s body with no head. Oh, yeah, here‟s Spock‟s body with Mr. T‟s head. I pity the fool who‟s illogical.Penny:Okay, I‟m just gonna go home and make a grilled cheese and window-shop on eHarmony.Leonard: Okay, bye.Penny: Okay.Leonard: Ooh, look, an Indiana Jones connect-the-dots.Raj: And an Aquaman action figure.Howard: Looks like someone drew a penis on him.Raj: H uh? That‟ll come off.Howard:You see what you‟re doing? Stop that.Sheldon: Fascinating.Leonard: What?Sheldon: It appears to be a Lord of the Rings ring.Leonard: Oh.Raj: It‟s even got the Elvish engraving on it.Sheldon: I t‟s not Elvish. It‟s the language of Mordor written in Elvish script. One Ring torule them all.Raj: One Ring to find them.Howard: One Ring to bring them all.Leonard: And in the darkness bind them.Raj: Holy crap, are we nerdy.Scene: The Cheesecake FactoryHoward: So, I was doing some checking on the ring.Raj: Hold on. Sheldon, is there ketchup on that table?Sheldon: Yes, there is. Oh, here‟s a fun fact, ketchup s tarted out as a general term for sauce, typically made of, uh, mushrooms or fish brine with herbs and spices. Some popular early main ingredients included blueberry, anchovy, oyster, kidney bean and grape.Raj: No, that‟s okay. I‟ll get it.Howard: Listen, I was looking at the ring, and it seemed a little weird. No copyright notice on it. So, I took it down to this buddy of mine who deals with, shall we say, the seedy underbelly of the collectibles world.Leonard: Seedy underbelly?Howard: You know, your black market phasers, your screen-worn Lieutenant Uhura panties, that kind of stuff. Raj:Who‟s this mysterious buddy you suddenly have?Howard: Just a guy. I know a guy.Raj: Is it Eddie Crispo?Howard: No, I can‟t tell you who it is. Stop asking.Raj: Who else could it be? It has to be Eddie Crispo.Howard: I know lots of dangerous people, okay?Raj: Name one.Howard: Eddie Crispo. Anyway, he said this isn‟t a replica. It‟s the real deal.Sheldon: If you‟re suggesting that that is the actual ring of power f orged by Sauron in Mount Doom, I look at you with an expression of exhaustion and ever so slight amusement.Leonard:He‟s not saying it‟s a magic ring. You‟re not, are you?Howard: No, but it‟s close. Look at the markings inside. Those are production marki ngs. Nine rings were made for use in the Lord of the Rings movies. Three were given to members of the cast. The rest were destroyed. Except one. One was stolen. Gentlemen, this is the one ring.Sheldon (snatching it): Mine!Leonard: No, it is not yours. We all went in on the box together.Sheldon: Well, yes, but I found it in the box, and the laws of maritime salvage clearly state that the finder of asunken treasure is the owner of the treasure.Leonard: How is this maritime salvage?Sheldon: Other than the lack of water, how is it not?Raj: Wait, wait. Sheldon, stop being crazy for a second. How much is something like this worth?Howard: Well, it‟s tough to say since it‟s hot, but on the underground market, my guy figures…Raj: Your guy Eddie Crispo?Howard: Yes. He figures ten, maybe 15 thousand.Raj: Okay, that‟s a lot of money. The wise thing to do is invest it in something practical. Like a jet ski.Howard: Why do you want a jet ski?Raj: All the wealthy and beautiful people in movies ride Jet Skis. Tha t can‟t just be a coincidence.Sheldon: We can‟t sell it. We have to keep it and love it and polish it, and only take it out occasionally when we go to the park and re-enact our favourite scenes from the movies.Howard: It‟s sad how great that sounds.Leonard: Guys, it‟s stolen. It should go back to Peter Jackson. He made the movies, it belongs to him.Howard: Fine. He can have it back as long as he promises to make me a hobbit in his next movie.Raj: There are no Jewish hobbits.Howard: Clearly, you‟ve nev er been to my house for dinner on Rosh Hashanah.Leonard: We are not blackmailing Peter J… All right, where‟s the ring?Sheldon: You mean my ring?Leonard: What are you doing?Sheldon: The ring was unguarded, it was just sitting on the table, anyone could have taken it. Proof? I did. Leonard: Give me that.Raj:Look, let‟s be reasonable. We all want to do different things with the ring, but your ideas are stupid, and I want a jet ski.Sheldon: I found it. The ring is mine. I don‟t understand why in this gro up I never get my way.Leonard: You always get your way.Sheldon: I‟ll stipulate to that if you give me the ring.Penny: Hey, guys. Enjoying your food that I actually brought you instead of promising food, but bringing you a box of random crap?Leonard: Ye ah, it‟s delicious, the sarcasm‟s a little stale, though. Hey, how about this? Until we figure out what to do with the ring, Penny holds on to it.Penny: What ring?Leonard: This ring.Sheldon: Looking for something?Leonard: Will you hold on to this for a couple of days?Penny: Why?Leonard: It‟s a prop from a movie, and we‟re kind of fighting over it.Penny: Okay, just to be clear, the first piece of jewellery my boyfriend gives me is a prop from a movie, and I don‟t even get to keep it?Howard: I f you ha d gone out with me three years ago, by now, you‟d have my great Aunt Ida‟s brooch that she smuggled out of occupied Belgium in a cat.Leonard: How am I looking now?Scene: Penny and Leonard are asleep in Leonard’s bed. Sheldon creeps in and tries to take the ring fromround Penny’s neck, but she turns over. He tries to make buzzing fly noises to get her to turn back, but she turns all the way the other way. He then uses an extender with a claw on the end to lif the ring from Penny’s chest. As he tries to remove it, she wakes up, screams, and punches him in the face.Sheldon:Ow! You hit me! I‟m bleeding!Leonard: What was that?Penny: Sheldon tried to take the ring and I punched him.Leonard: That‟s my girl.Scene: The cafeteria.Howard:So, Sheldon, how‟s it feel to get beaten up by a girl?Sheldon: It‟s not the first time. I have a twin sister whose assaults began in utero. If only I‟d had the presence of mind to reabsorb her, then I‟d have a mole with hair in it instead of a tedious yearly Christmas let ter.Raj: Gentlemen, have you come to the realization that the only reasonable course of action is to sell the ring and divide the money?Leonard: No.Raj: I was afraid of that. (Opens his laptop to reveal an Indian looking man on a webcam.) Go ahead.Man on Screen: Greetings from Mumbai. I am Raj‟s attorney, Venkatesh Koothrappali.Raj: Also my cousin.Howard: You brought a lawyer?Venkatesh: Don‟t answer that. I‟ll get straight to the point. My client‟s prepared to surrender any interest he has in the ring in exchange for two Kawasaki Jet Skis.Leonard: We‟re not giving him two Jet Skis.Venkatesh: Look, we‟re big boys, why don‟t we just cut to the chase and meet in the middle? One Kawasaki Jet Ski, done and done.Leonard: No Jet Skis.Venkatesh: All right, forget the Jet Skis.Raj: Forget the Jet Skis? That was our line in the sand! What happened to “tear them a new one?”Venkatesh: What can I say? They played hardball. We lost.Raj: You‟re useless.Venkatesh: I told you that when you hired me.Raj:I‟m si gning off now.Venkatesh: Call your mother, she worries.Howard: Okay, just so you know, if we‟re bringing in cousins who are lawyers, prepare for shock and awe. Leonard: You know what? I am ending this. Penny didn‟t want to hold the ring anymore. She gave it to me, I have it. I‟m sending it back. Where‟s the ring?Sheldon: You mean this ring? Next time be aware of your surroundings while urinating in a public men‟s room. Leonard: Give me that.Sheldon: No, it‟s mine.Raj: It‟s all of ours. (They begin to struggle over the ring.)Leonard: Okay, now, this is ridiculous!Howard: Then let go!Leonard:I‟m not letting go, you let go.Howard: I say this ring belongs to the last person who can hold on.Leonard: Fine. But can‟t we go home and start this?Raj: Sure. Let go of the ring.Leonard: All right, it starts now.Howard: You do realize there‟s a giant bug movie marathon tonight on the Syfy Channel. (They start to move away from the table while all still holding the ring.)Raj: Wait, my laptop. (They go back for it.)Scene: The stairwell. The guys are coming up the stairs, all still holding the ring.Howard:You know, there‟s a point when this becomes idiotic.Leonard:And it wasn‟t when we were driving like this?Sheldon:I would advise the three of you that resistance is futile. I have endless patience. I once spent two-and-a-half hours on hold with Hewlett-Packard customer service just to complain about their customer service. Leonard: You want to talk about endless patience? Penny made me watch all five seasons of Sex and the City. Raj: There are six seasons, dude.Leonard: Oh, crap!Raj: No, no, no, the sixth season is great. We go to Paris with Carrie and get our heart broken, and then Mr. Big shows up, we don‟t know if we can trust him again. It‟s a wild r ide.Leonard: Door. (Leonard tries to unlock the door and drops the keys.)Raj: Okay, everybody, and plie. And relevae.Penny:Whatcha doin‟?Leonard: Last one holding the ring decides its fate. I know, it sounds silly.Penny: No, no, no, no, no, no, you are my boyfriend. Nothing you do is silly to me.Leonard: Thank you.Penny:FYI, this is a bag from Victoria‟s Secret.Leonard: I‟m out.Scene: The apartment. The three guys are still holding the ring. Howard is on the phone.Howard: I‟m sorry, Ma, I have to stay late at the office.Raj: No, he‟s doesn‟t! He‟s lying to you!Howard: Will you be quiet?Raj:Well, if you want privacy let go of the ring. I‟m so glad we came to this gentile strip club! Howard, here‟s more bacon to tuck into the shiksa‟s G-string!Howard:I‟ll call you back.Raj: I think it‟s lovely you call your mommy and let her know you‟re going to be late for dinner. From what I know about these things, if a woman doesn‟t breast-feed on time, it‟s very uncomfortable for her boobies.Howard: D on‟t you talk about my mother‟s boobies!Raj: I f you‟re offended, let go of the ring and go on home to your mother‟s boobies.Sheldon:Excellent, excellent. Tire each other out, the ring will be mine. Howard, why don‟t you go after Raj‟s mother?Raj: Why d on‟t we go after your mother?Sheldon:Go ahead. I have no illusions about my mother. She is a kind, loving, religiously fanatical right-wing Texan with a slightly out-of-scale head and a mild Dr. Pepper addiction. Anything you‟d like to add?Howard: That‟s not gonna Better pull out the big gun.Raj: You‟re right. Let‟s talk about your grandmother.Sheldon: No! I call no Meemaws.Raj: Think about this. The only way your mother was born was your Meemaw had sex.Sheldon: I don‟t want to hear this.Howard: Then let go of the ring and walk away.Sheldon: Never.Howard:All right. I‟ll bet your Meemaw didn‟t just have sex to have your mother. I bet she had sex because she liked it.Sheldon: Stop it!Raj: Yeah, Meemaw did the nasty.Sheldon: I said stop it!Howard: We‟re getting to him.Sheldon: Waterfalls!Raj: What?Sheldon: Waterfalls. Crashing waves. Babbling brooks.Howard: What are you doing?Sheldon:Subliminal messaging. I‟m going to make you want to pee. Dripping faucets. Leaky gutter. Peeing.Raj: It‟s, it‟s not working, dude.Sheldon: Oh-ho-ho, it‟s working all right. I have to pee.Raj: T hen let go of the ring and go.Howard: No, actually, I wouldn‟t mind going, too.Raj: Fine. Um, on the count of three. One, two…Sheldon: Wait, just to clarify. When you get to three, do we stand up or do we pee?Howard: We stand up.Sheldon: Excellent choice.Raj: Three.Howard: Something tells me this was a bad day to wear suede shoes.Scene: Sometime later. The guys are on the settee. Howard is seen asleep, he is not holding the ring. The camera pans along to where Sheldon and Raj still hold the ring. Raj, also asleep, lets go and cuddles up to Howard.Sheldon: I‟ve done it! I‟ve won! The ring is mine! It‟s mine! (He runs to the bathroom) We‟re going to clean it up an d make it pretty. My own. My love. My precious. (He looks in the mirror and has turned into golem. He screams and wakes up, still on the settee.) Where‟s the ring?Leonard:It‟s in a FedEx box on its way back to where it came from.Raj: T he fires of Mount Doom?Leonard: Peter Jackson‟s office in New Zealand. It wasn‟t ours.Howard: You quit the game! You had no right to take it.Leonard: I came in here, you guys were all sleeping. The ring was on the floor. No one was touching it.Raj: Well, so then we star t the game over until there‟s a winner.Leonard: There wasn‟t ever going to be a winner. There was going to be a selfish, petty person with a ring and three people who used to be his friend. Is that really what you guys want? …Cause if it is, fine, I don‟t want anything to do with you. And I don‟t know what happened in that bathroom, but I am not cleaning it up! (Goes to his bedroom. Takes a box from under his bed. Takes out the ring.) My precious.Scene: Leonard and Penny are asleep in Leonard’s bed. The extender and claw reaches across and pullsdown the sheet revealing the ring on a chain round Leonard’s neck.Sheldon: I knew it. Give us the precious!Leonard: NEVER!(They begin to struggle, both shouting “give it”, “give it to me” and “it’s mine” at var ious intervals. Penny gets out of the bed and heads out the door.)Penny: U gh, gotta go back to dating dumb guys from the gym.。

1Leonard :Previously on The Big Bang Theory...Priya :My brother, he's got a big crush on Bernadette.Leonard :You're moving back to India?Leonard :What's going on?Penny :It's not what it looks like.Sheldon :What does it look like?2Sheldon :It's not what it looks like. It's not what it looks like. Leonard :What are you grinding about?Sheldon :Penny's brain teaser this morning. She and Koothrappali emerge from your bedroom. She is dishevelled, and Raj is dressed only in a sheet. The sole clue, it's not what it looks like.Leonard :Just let it go, Sheldon.Sheldon :If I could, I would, but I can't, so I shan't. Now, knowing Penny, the obvious answer is, they engaged in coitus. But, since that's what it looked like, we can rule that out. Let's put on our thinking cap, shall we? Raj is from India, a tropical country. Third World hygiene. Parasitic infections are common, such as pinworms.Leonard :Mm-hmm.Sheldon :The procedure for diagnosing pinworms is to wait until the subject is asleep, and the worms crawl out of the rectum for air.Leonard :Pu...Sheldon :Yes, just like that. Penny could have been inspecting Raj's anal region for parasites. Oh, boy. That's a true blue friend.Leonard :They slept together, Sherlock.Sheldon :No, you weren't listening. She said, it's not what it looks like.Leonard :She lied.Sheldon :Oh. Well don't I look silly sitting here wearing this?3Howard :Hey.Raj :Hey.Leonard :Hey.Sheldon :Hey. Leonard, is it awkward for you knowing that one of your dear friends had sexual intercourse with a woman you used to love in the very place you lay your head? Leonard :No, I'm fine with it.Sheldon :That sounds like sarcasm, but I'm going to disregard it, because I have an agenda. Paintball. Specifically, the interdepartmental tournament this weekend. In order to function better as a fighting unit, I thought we should establish a chain of command. It goes without saying that I would outrank the three of you, but the question remains, by how much? Now, I don't see me as some four-star general, back at HQ riding a desk and playing golf with the Secretary of Defence. But I also can't be Sergeant Cooper, because that might lead you to think of me as just a regular Joe. This might take some thought. As you were. Leonard :What the hell is wrong with you?Howard :Yeah, how could you do that?Raj :What is it to you?Howard :I got his back.Raj :Yeah, right. You're just jealous because it turns out I'mPenny's number two choice after Leonard.Howard :Hey, if I wasn't engaged to Bernadette, that totally could have been me.Leonard :Please. Sheldon would have been before you, and he might not even have genitals.Raj :Why do you care so much? You're dating my sister, and Penny and I are in love.Leonard &Howard :What?Sheldon :Gentlemen, if I may interject, I've decided my rank will be captain. If it's good enough for Kirk, Crunch and Kangaroo, it's good enough for me.Howard :You're not in love with Penny.Raj :Yes, I am. The god Kamadeva has shot us with his flowery arrows of love.Howard :Who?Raj :He's the Hindu version of Cupid, but way better, because he rides a giant parrot.Leonard :Raj, come on. You fall in love with any girl who smiles at you. A month ago, you were writing poems about his fiancee.Howard :I'm sorry. What?Raj :Rubbish. He's talking rubbish.Leonard :Oh, Bernadette, please play my clarinet.Raj :That could have been about anyone. Besides, you have nothing to worry about, because now I'm the dusky half of Koothrapenny.Sheldon :For the record, I do have genitals. They're functional and aesthetically pleasing.4Penny :Coming. Yup, that's good. Wine glasses should have handles.Amy :Keeping accurate track of your alcohol intake. Smart idea considering how trampy you get when you've had a few. Penny :You heard what I did?Amy :Well, I heard who you did.Penny :Oh, my God, I screwed up everything. I hurt Leonard, I hurt Raj, what is wrong with me? I feel like two totally different people, Dr. Jekyll and Mrs. Whore.Amy :Don't be so hard on yourself. Do you know the story of Catherine the Great?Penny :No.Amy :She ruled Russia in the late seventeen hundreds, and one night, when she was feeling particularly randy, she used an intricate system of pulleys to have intimate relations with a horse.Penny :I'm sorry. What does this have to do with me?Amy :She engaged in interspecies hanky-panky, and people still call her great. I'm sure your reputation can survive you shagging a little Indian boy.5Bernadette :You jerk face! What did you tell Howard? Did you say there was something going on between us? Because he thinks there is. He's completely freaking out!Raj :Please, come in.Bernadette :What the hell is wrong with you?Raj :Well, you were always so nice to me, I thought maybe youliked me.Bernadette :I'm nice to everyone.Raj :I'm sorry.Bernadette :Damn right, you're sorry. And you tell Howard there's never been anything between us.Raj :I will. Hey, Bernadette?Bernadette :What?!Raj :Do you think I have a shot with Penny?Bernadette :Of course you do. You're a cutie pie. Any girl would be lucky to have you.6Penny :You know, I've done this before. In kindergarten, I was supposed to marry Jason Sorensen at recess, but by the time my class got out there, he was already engaged to Chelsea Himmelfarb. So what did I do? Hung upside down from the monkey bars, let all the boys see my underpants. Amy :You can't blame yourself. When your prefrontal cortex fails to make you happy, promiscuity rewards you with the needed flood of dopamine. We neurobiologists refer to this as the skank reflex.Penny :You know what? Let's get out of here.Amy :Where are we going?Penny :Somewhere where no one's seen me naked. We may have to drive awhile.Sheldon :Subtlety isn't her strong suit, is it?Penny :Can I stay at your place for a few nights?Amy :Really? A best friend sleepover? Yay.Penny :Yeah, sure. Yay!Amy :We'll make popcorn, stay up all night and I'll teach you my secret language, Op.Penny :Sounds great.Amy :Nope. Sounds Gop Rop E A Top.Penny :Yeah, I'm gonna go pack a bag.Amy :No, you're not. You're gonna Pop A Cop Kop A Bop A Gop.7Leonard :Do we really have to wear this camouflage crap to play paintball?Sheldon :Who said that? Leonard, I can hear your voice, but I can't see you.Leonard :I'm not in the mood, Sheldon.Sheldon :Oh, there you are. Leonard, I know you're upset about recent events, and I have someone here to help. Leonard :I don't want to talk to Amy.Sheldon :No, it's not Amy.Beverly :Hello, dear.Leonard :You called my mother?Sheldon :Oh, Leonard, is it really necessary to caption the obvious? Beverly :He's been like that since he was a toddler. Look, Mommy, a butterfly. Maddening.Leonard :What's going on? What do you want?Beverly :Sheldon informed me that you're experiencing an emotional upheaval, and I'm here to help.Leonard :That's so nice.Beverly :And we're back to the obvious. Now, what's up?Leonard :Well, uh, okay, um, I don't want to get back together with Penny. We tried it, it was crazy, it didn't work, but I can't deal with the fact that she slept with my friend Raj. And then I find out that Raj's sister Priya, who I've been going out with for eight months, is moving back to India. So I'm just completely confused and alone.Beverly :I understand.Leonard :Got any advice?Beverly :Yes. Buck up.Leonard :Excuse me. You're a world-renowned expert in parenting and child development, and all you've got is buck up? Beverly :Sorry. Buck up, sissy pants.Leonard :Thanks, Mother. I feel much better.Beverly :If you need any more help from me, my books are available on Amazon. Logging off.8Amy :Ninety-nine, one hundred. It's like a waterfall of liquid gold. My turn.Penny :You know, I don't even know what the point of me staying in L.A. is. I haven't gotten a single acting job since I moved out here. The closest I came was last month, I got a callback for a hemorrhoid commercial.Amy :Oh, I could so see you being the face of haemorrhoids. Penny :I know, right? Maybe I should just move back to Nebraska. Amy :No, I can't let you do that.Penny :Why not? Amy :For the first time ever, I have a thriving social life. And no pressure, but it kind of lives and dies with you.Raj :Hi, Amy. Can I talk to Penny?Amy :A guest in my trundle bed and a boy at my door? I wish I could tell 13-year-old me it does get better.Penny :How did you know I was here?Raj :It's all over her Facebook page.Amy :I'll take your stuff to the bedroom and clear out a drawer. Penny :Thanks.Amy :No problem. Try and keep it in your pants, okay?Penny :So, hi. What's up?Raj :I was wondering if you're free Friday. They're having a Totally 80s Night at the Greek. Hall & Oates, Katrina and the Waves and three-fifths of Kajagoogoo.Penny :Oh. Gee, that's really sweet, but the thing is...Raj :Aw, there's a thing.Penny :Look, honey, I was really drunk and made a huge mistake last night. We should've never slept together. It's what ruins friendships.Raj :You can't ruin a friendship with sex. That's like trying to ruin ice cream with chocolate sprinkles.Penny :Come here. Just listen to me. I want to go back to the way we were before. You know, friends. No sprinkles.Raj :Oh. All right.Penny :Thank you. Oh...Raj :Well, uh, as your friend, you might like to know that, wedidn't have sex in the conventional sense.Penny :Oh, God. Did you pull some weird Indian crap on me?Raj :No, no. After we got undressed and jumped in bed, you, you asked if I had protection.Penny :Oh, you did, didn't you?Raj :Of course. I'm always packing. Anyway, um, I had trouble putting it on and you tried to help, and, that was all she wrote.Penny :So, we didn't actually...Raj :I did. It was beautiful.Penny :Oh!Raj :Penny, please, please promise me you won't tell anybody about this.Penny :Of course I won't. No, I won't.Raj :Oh, good. Um, can I tell people that our love burned too bright and too quickly? Kind of a Candle in the Wind deal? Penny :Sure.Raj :Cool. Can I say it fell apart because you were all, I want to have your babies, and I was like, I'm too rock and roll to be tied down?Penny :No.Raj :Can I say I ruined you for white men?Penny :Also no.Raj :Okay, just the candle thing.Penny :Yeah.Raj :Cool. All right, friend. I'll see you around.Penny :Okay. Raj, wait. Thank you for being my friend.Raj :Penny?Penny :Mm-hmm?Raj :It's getting beautiful again.9Sheldon :All right, this is a Google Earth view of the field of battle. Howard :I don't see anything.Sheldon :Give it a second to load. Whenever you're ready, AT&T! Okay, here we go. This is us here. To the south is Professor Loomis and the Geology Department. According to their Twitter feed, they're out of sunblock, which means they'll have to hug the tree line or risk melanoma. That's our edge. All we have to do is move quickly over this ridge, the rock-worshipping pasty-faced bastards won't know what hit them. All right, let's move out.Leonard :Hang on, Sheldon. How could you not tell me your sister was moving back to India?Howard :Maybe he was too busy writing clumsy penis metaphors about my fiancee.Raj :Screw you. That was a beautifully written penis metaphor. Leonard :You know what, guys, I'm not in the mood for paintball. What do you say we just bag it?Howard :Fine with me.Raj :Sure, whatever.Sheldon :You can't quit. That's a court-martial offence. That's punishable by... You can't quit.Leonard :Sorry, Sheldon, it's just not a good time for playing games. Sheldon :This is a game to you? Uh, was the Battle of Antietam a game? Huh? Was the sack of Rome a game?Leonard :Yes, no and no.Sheldon :Wait. I just want you all to know that I forgive you. This mutiny isn't your fault, it's mine. I haven't earned these bars. Although what I lack in leadership, apparently I more than make up for in sewing.Howard :Let it go, Sheldon. I'll get you a Jamba Juice on the way home.Sheldon :No. Jamba Juice is for heroes. And that's what we're going to be.Leonard :What are you doing?Sheldon :Following in the footsteps of Kirk, Crunch and Kangaroo. Geology isn't a real science!Howard :Damn those sons of bitches!Leonard :Let's get 'em!Sheldon :If there's ever a Church of Sheldon, this will be when it started. Ow!10Leonard :I'd like to propose a toast to the man whose noble sacrifice inspired our victory, Captain Sheldon Cooper.Howard & Raj :Here, here.Sheldon :Excuse me. It's Major Sheldon Cooper. With my last breath, I awarded myself a battlefield promotion. It's kind of a big deal.Penny :Hi. You guys have a minute?Leonard :Uh, yeah, sure.Penny :Okay. Um. I already talked to Raj, but I wanted to apologize to the rest of you for, you know, everything.Raj :Please, Penny, let me. We've decided to let our crazy, wonderful night together be just one of those memories you have and can call to mind when you're feeling blue or you're in the shower.Penny :Hey, what you doing, Quick Draw?Raj :Sorry. Go on.Penny :Anyways, I wanted you guys all to know that I've been taking a really hard look at things and come to the conclusion I have to stop kidding myself. I suck at acting. It's time for me to move back to Nebraska.Leonard :You're leaving?Penny :Yeah.Howard :What are you going to do in Nebraska?Penny :I don't know, maybe teach acting. Oh, sorry. Hold on. Hello?Leonard :Penny, Penny, listen, I hope you're not doing this 'cause of you and me, because I have a girlfriend, and you're a single woman.Penny :Shh! It's my agent, it's my agent. You're kidding. Oh, my gosh. I can't believe it! Really? Oh, I'm so excited, thank you, thank you so much. Okay, bye. I got the haemorrhoid commercial! I start Monday.Sheldon :What about Nebraska?Penny :Oh, hell with Nebraska. I'm gonna be a star!Sheldon :Have you ever thought of teaching physics?11Actress-TV :Ready to ride?Penny-TV :The Big Bang Theory0501I don't think so, Mom. Not today.Actress-TV :Oh, sweetie. Haemorrhoids acting up again?Penny-TV :You don't know the half of it.Actress-TV :Oh, yes, I do. Try a dab of this.Penny-TV :Rose-scented Preparation-H for women?Actress-TV :Now, the H is for Her.Leonard :I'm proud of you.Penny :Shh! Here comes my joke.Actress-TV :How are you doing?Penny-TV :Sittin' pretty.。

第一集《生活大爆炸》前情提要Previously on The Big Bang Theory...我哥哥深深地暗恋着伯纳黛特My brother he's got a big crush on Bernadette.你要回印度吗You're moving back to India?这是怎么回事What's going on?反正不是你们看上去的那样It'sIt's not what it looks like.那到底看上去像怎么样What does it look like?"不是你们看上去的那样" It's not what it looks like."不是你们看上去的那样" It's not what it looks like.你在碎碎念什么啊What are you grinding about?佩妮今早留下的头脑风暴悬念Penny's brain teaser this morning.她跟库萨帕里She and Koothrappali从你的卧室走出emerge from your bedroom.她衣衫不整拉杰只裹了个床单She is disheveled, and Raj is dressed only in a sheet.唯一的线索只有"不是你们看上去的那样" The sole clue: "It's not what it looks like."别纠结了谢尔顿Just let it go, Sheldon.纠结不是我想停想停就能停的If I could, I would, but I can't, so I shan't.目前的信息表明佩妮Now, knowing Penny最明显的答案当然是两人交媾了the obvious answer is, they engaged in coitus.但是... But...鉴于那是"看上去的那样" Since that's what it looked like我们可以排除这个可能性we can rule that out.让我们戴上智能帽子考虑一下吧如何Let's put on our thinking cap, shall we?智能帽子:澳大利亚思维中心研制的让人更聪明的帽子拉杰来自印度一个热带国家Raj is from India, a tropical country.第三世界的卫生条件Third World hygiene.寄生病感染司空见惯例如蛲虫病Parasitic infections are common, such as pinworms.诊断蛲虫病的步骤就是等待The procedure for diagnosing pinworms is to wait直到宿主陷入沉睡状态until the subject is asleep然后蛲虫从宿主的直肠爬出来透气and the worms crawl out of the rectum for air.没错正像你刚才那样Yes, just like that.佩妮可能在观测寄生虫从拉杰的菊花爬出来呢Penny could have been inspecting Raj's anal region for parasites.天呐Oh, boy.真是位称职的蓝颜知己啊That's a true blue friend.他们上床了大神探They slept together, Sherlock.不你没认真听No, you weren't listening.她说了"不是你们看上去的那样" She said it's not what it looks like.她说谎了She lied.呃Oh.那我坐在这还戴着这东西岂不是弱爆了Don't I look silly sitting here wearing this?莱纳德现在对你而言Leonard, is it awkward for you看到你的挚友跟你曾经爱过的女人knowing that one of your dear friends had sexual intercourse就在你每天睡觉的地方交媾with a woman you used to love是否觉得很尴尬in the very place you lay your head?不我能接受No, I'm fine with it.那听起来像讽刺啊That sounds like sarcasm但是我决定无视它but I'm going to disregard it因为我还有其他安排: 玩彩弹枪because I have an agenda paintball.本周来点特别的搞个不同部门间的比赛Specifically, the interdepartmental tournament this weekend.为了变为更有效率的作战小队In order to function better as a fighting unit我认为我们有必要建立一个领导机制I thought we should establish a chain of command.当然自不待言Now, it goes without saying我的地位理应高于你们三位that I would outrank the three of you但问题在于高多少呢but the question remains, by how much?我认为我不该充当那种在指挥部桌前发号施令Now, I don't see me as some fourstar general, back at HQ riding a desk只会跟国防部打高尔夫的四星上将的角色and playing golf with the Secretary of Defense.但我也不能当库珀中士But I also can't be Sergeant Cooper这可能会误导你们because that might lead you把我仅仅看成个小人物to think of me as just a regular Joe.这事儿可能需要动点脑筋交给你们了This might take some thought. As you were.你到底有什么毛病啊What the hell is wrong with you?是啊你怎么能这么做呢Yeah, how could you do that?跟你有何关联我挺他啊What is it to you? I got his back.是啊你嫉妒我因为事实证明Yeah, right. You're just jealous because it turns out我才是佩妮仅次于莱纳德的第二选择I'm Penny's number two choice after Leonard.拜托如果我没跟伯纳黛特订婚Hey, if I wasn't engaged to Bernadette二号选择完全可能是我that totally could have been me.拜托谢尔顿都有可能在你之前Please. Sheldon would have been before you他说不定连生殖器都没有呢and he might not even have genitals!你为何这么在意啊Why do you care so much?你还跟我妹妹约会呢You're dating my sister况且佩妮和我还相恋了and Penny and I are in love.什么What?!先生们容我插一句Gentlemen, if I may interject我决定我的军阶为上尉了I've decided my rank will be captain.如果科克船长嘎嘣脆船长和袋鼠船长都能胜任此职If it's good enough for Kirk, Crunch and Kangaroo嘎嘣脆船长:麦片品牌袋鼠船长:美国某儿童节目主持人的称呼那对我而言也不错it's good enough for me.你没有跟佩妮相恋You're not in love with Penny.有我有Yes, I am.伟大的天神迦摩天用他的爱之花箭射中了我们The god Kamadeva has shot us with his flowery arrows of love.谁Who?他是印度的丘比特He's the Hindu version of Cupid但他帅多了因为他骑着一只硕大的鹦鹉but way better, because he rides a giant parrot.拜托拉杰哪个女孩子对你笑你就会爱上谁Raj, come on. You fall in love with any girl who smiles at you.一个月前你还给他未婚妻写情诗呢A month ago, you were writing poems about his fiance.什么他啥意思I'm sorry. What?!胡说他胡说八道Rubbish. He's talking rubbish.哦伯纳黛特请给我吹箫吧"Oh, Bernadette, please play my clarinet."那也可以是别人嘛That could have been about anyone.况且你没必要担心Besides, you have nothing to worry about我现在是库佩恋的主角之一because now I'm the dusky half of Koothrapenny.说明一下我有生殖器For the record, I do have genitals.不但功能强劲而且外形健美They're functional and aesthetically pleasing.来了Oh. Coming.说到底Yup, that's good.还是一醉解千愁Wine glasses should have handles.准确记录你的酒精摄入量Keeping accurate track of your alcohol intake.鉴于你的酒后乱性程度Smart idea considering how trampy you get这么做很聪明when you've had a few.你听说我干的事了You heard what I did?我听说你干了谁了Well, I heard who you did.老天呐Oh, my God我全搞砸了I screwed up everything.我伤害了莱纳德I hurt Leonard.我伤害了拉杰I hurt Raj.我真是有毛病啊我I mean, what is wrong with me?我感觉自己完全是两个不同的人I feel like two totally different people原电影名为Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde化娼博士Dr. Jekyll and Mrs. Whore.别太自责了Don't be so hard on yourself.你知道凯萨琳大帝的故事吗Do you know the story of Catherine the Great?不知道No.她是俄罗斯She ruled Russia18世纪后期的统治者in the late 1700s, and one night一天晚上她感觉性欲特别强when she was feeling particularly randy她用一个复杂的滑轮系统she used an intricate system of pulleys跟一匹马发生了亲密关系to have intimate relations with a horse.不好意思I'm... I'm sorry.这跟我有什么关系What does this have to do with me?她跟不同物种发生过关系She engaged in interspecies hankypanky但人们依然尊称她"大帝"啊and people still call her "Great."我相信你的名誉不会因为I'm sure your reputation can survive一个小印度男而毁掉的you shagging a little Indian boy.你个不要脸的东西You jerk face!你跟霍华德说什么了What did you tell Howard?!你跟他说我们之间有奸情是不是Did you say there was something going on between us?他现在就是这么想的Because he thinks there is!他整个人都抓狂了He's completely freaking out!请进Please, come in.你这人有毛病啊What the hell is wrong with you?! Well...你总是对我这么好我以为你喜欢我嘛You were always so nice to me, I thought maybe you liked me.我对谁都这么好啊I'm nice to everyone!对不起I'm sorry.没错你是对不起我Damn right, you're sorry!你去跟霍华德说我们之间没有任何暧昧之情And you tell Howard there's never been anything between us!我会的伯纳黛特干嘛I will. Hey, Bernadette? What?!你觉得我和佩妮有机会吗Do you think I have a shot with Penny?当然啦你那么可爱Of course you do. You're a cutie pie!哪个女孩子遇到你真是三生有幸啦Any girl would be lucky to have you!你知道吗我以前就犯过这种错You know, I've done this before.在幼儿园的时候In kindergarten我本来要在下课期间嫁给杰森·索伦森I was supposed to marry Jason Sorensen at recess但等同学们都出来的时候but by the time my class got out there他已经和切尔西·辛莫法订婚了he was already engaged to Chelsea Himmelfarb.知道我怎么做吗So what did I do?我倒吊在猴架上Hung upside down from the monkey bars让全部男生看我的内裤let all the boys see my underpants.你不能责怪自己You can't blame yourself.当你的前额皮质无法使你开心时When your prefrontal cortex fails to make you happy滥交能给你带来大量所需的多巴胺promiscuity rewards you with the needed flood of dopamine.我们神经生物学家称之为"下流反射" We neurobiologists refer to this as the "Skank reflex."这样吧You know what?我们出去玩Let's get out of here.我们去哪玩Where are we going?去没有人看过我裸体的地方Somewhere where no one's seen me naked.可能得开一会车才行We may have to drive awhile.聪敏就不是她的强项对吧Subtlety isn't her strong suit, is it?我能去你家睡几晚吗Can I stay at your place for a few nights?真的吗Really?闺蜜来过夜好嘢 A best friend sleepover? Yay.当然好嘢Yeah, sure. Yay!我们弄点爆米花玩他个通宵We'll make popcorn, stay up all night我会教你说我的密语表嗷话and I'll teach you my secret language, Op.听上去不错错Sounds great. Nope.应该是听上去"表嗷错噢" Sounds "Gop Rop E A Top."好吧我去收个包不错了Yeah, I'm gonna go pack a bag. No, you're not. 你是去"收个表嗷噢" You're gonna "Pop A Cop Kop A Bop A Gop."我们真要穿这蠢爆了的迷彩服Do we really have to wear this camouflage crap去打彩弹吗to play paintball?谁在说话Who said that?莱纳德我能听到你Leonard, I can hear your voice但看不到你but I can't see you.我没那心情谢尔顿I'm not in the mood, Sheldon.哎呀你在这啊Oh, there you are!莱纳德Leonard我知道你为最近的事不开心I know you're upset about recent events, and所以我找了人来帮你I have someone here to help.我不想和艾米说话I don't want to talk to Amy.不那不是艾米No, it's not Amy.你好宝贝儿Hello, dear.你叫了我妈You called my mother?莱纳德Oh, Leonard非要说得这么明显吗is it really necessary to caption the obvious?他还是小孩时就这样了He's been like that since he was a toddler.看呀妈咪一只蝴蝶"Look, Mommy a butterfly."真闹心Maddening.怎么了你有什么事What's going on? What do you want?谢尔顿告诉我说Sheldon informed me你正在遭遇感情上的剧变that you're experiencing an emotional upheaval所以我来帮忙and I'm here to help.你真贴心That's so nice.这不又是明摆着的么And we're back to the obvious.好吧怎么了Now, what's up?那个嗯Well, uh... okay.我不想和佩妮复合I don't want to get back together with Penny.我们尝试过很疯狂效果很糟糕We tried it, it was crazy, it didn't work但我也不能接受but I can't deal with the fact她和我朋友拉杰上床了that she slept with my friend Raj.我还发现拉杰的妹妹普莉娅And then I find out that Raj's sister Priya我和她交往了八个月who I've been going out with for eight months而她现在要回印度is moving back to India.所以我完全迷茫和寂寞了So I'm just completely confused and alone.我理解I understand.有什么建议吗Got any advice?有振作起来Yes. Buck up.啥Excuse me.你一个世界知名的You're a worldrenowned expert育儿和儿童成长专家in parenting and child development能给的建议就是"振作起来"吗and all you've got is "Buck up"?不好意思Sorry.振作起来小娘炮Buck up, sissy pants.多谢妈妈我感觉好多了Thanks, Mother. I feel much better.你要是有什么要我帮忙If you need any more help from me就去亚马逊上买我的书my books are available on Amazon.下了Logging off.九十九一百...ninetynine, one hundred.秀发如金色瀑布一般倾泻而下It's like a waterfall of liquid gold.轮到我了My turn.我都不知道我干嘛You know, I don't even know what the point要住在洛杉矶of me staying in L.A. Is.我搬到这后连一次演员工作机会都没有I haven't gotten a single acting job since I moved out here.最接近的就是上个月The closest I came was last month一个做痔疮广告的打了电话给我I got a callback for a hemorrhoid commercial.我觉得你那张脸演得了痔疮的会很传神Oh, I could so see you being the face of hemorrhoids.你也觉得吧I know, right?我是不是干脆搬回内布拉斯加得了Maybe I should just move back to Nebraska.不你不能这么做No, I can't let you do that.为什么Why not?有史以来第一次For the first time ever我的社交生活蒸蒸日上I have a thriving social life.不是给你压力And no pressure但你要是走了这一切都完了but it kind of lives and dies with you.你好艾米Hi, Amy.我能和佩妮谈谈吗Can I talk to Penny?我的滚轮床有人来睡还有男生来我家A guest in my trundle bed and a boy at my door?我真想穿越回去告诉十三岁的我"真的会好起来的" I wish I could tell 13yearold me "It does get better."你怎么知道我在这里How did you know I was here?她的Facebook上都写了It's all over her Facebook page.我把你的东西搬去卧室I'll take your stuff to the bedroom再把抽屉整理一下谢了and clear out a drawer. Thanks.没事这次管好你的裤子好吗No problem. Try and keep it in your pants, okay?你好So, hi.有事吗What's up?不知道你周五有没有空I was wondering if you're free Friday.周五在格里克有个八十年代之夜They're having a Totally '80s Night at the Greek.有霍尔与奥兹二重唱卡特琳娜Hall & Oates, Katrina and the Waves均是八十年代的音乐人和组合还有卡加勾勾组合里的三个人and threefifths of Kajagoogoo.这真的很不错但问题是... Gee, that's really sweet, but the thing is...有问题了Aw, there's a thing.听着亲爱的我当时醉得很厉害Look, honey, I was really drunk昨晚犯了个严重的错误and made a huge mistake last night.我们绝不该发生这种关系We should've never slept together.这会毁了我们的友谊的It's what ruins friendships.做爱是毁不了友谊的You can't ruin a friendship with sex.就好像巧克力屑不会毁了冰淇淋一样That's like trying to ruin ice cream with chocolate sprinkles.来坐下来Come here.听我说Just listen to me.我想时光倒流回到我们从前那样I want to go back to the way we were before.当朋友You know, friends.不放巧克力屑No sprinkles.好吧All right.谢谢你Thank you.作为朋友我要告诉你As your friend, you might like to know that, um...传统意义上来说我们没有做爱we didn't have sex in the conventional sense.天哪Oh, God.你对我做了什么怪异的印度花样吗Did you pull some weird Indian crap on me?不不是的No, no.我们脱光衣服上床之后After we got undressed and jumped in bed你问了我有没有带安全套youyou asked if I had protection.哦你一定带了是吧Oh, you did, didn't you?当然我一向随身带着的Of course. I'm always packing.总之Anyway当时我有点戴不上套子um, I had trouble putting it on你就想来帮我and you tried to help and...然后就没有然后了that was all she wrote.所以我们其实没有... So, we didn't actually...我射了I did.感觉很美妙It was beautiful.佩妮求求你答应我Penny, please, please promise me不会告诉任何人you won't tell anybody about this.当然一定不说Of course I won't. No, I won't.太好了Oh, good.我可不可以告诉别人Um, can I tell people that our love我们的爱燃烧太快转瞬即逝burned too bright and too quickly?就像"风中之烛"那样Kind of a "Candle in the Wind" deal?当然可以Sure.酷我可以说我们分手Cool. Can I say it fell apart是因为你一直嚷嚷着想要我孩子because you were all "I want to have your babies""而我觉得自己还要继续流浪不能安定下来吗and I was like "I'm too rock and roll to be tied down"?不行No.我可以说因为你是白种人所以我甩了你吗Can I say I ruined you for white men?还是不行Also no.好吧就说风中烛那个吧对Okay, just the candle thing. Yeah.酷Cool.好吧朋友All right... friend.回见I'll see you around.好的Okay.拉杰等等Raj, wait.谢谢你当我朋友Thank you for being my friend.佩妮Penny?我又开始觉得美妙了It's getting beautiful again.好了这是本战场的"谷歌地球"画面All right, this is a Google Earth view of the field of battle. 我什么都没看见I don't see anything.等一会在载入Give it a second to load.可以了吧AT&T[美国电话电报公司] Whenever you're ready, AT&T!好了来吧Okay, here we go.我们在这This is us here.南面是卢米斯教授和地质系诸人To the south is Professor Loomis and the Geology Department.据其twitter记录他们没防晒霜了According to their twitter feed, they're out of sunblock就是说他们要不躲在林木线下which means they'll have to hug the tree line不然就有得黑色素瘤危险or risk melanoma.这就是我们的优势That's our edge.我们只需要快速穿过这个山脊All we have to do is move quickly over this ridge就能把这帮崇拜石头苍白脸色的混蛋the rockworshipping pastyfaced bastards出其不意地击倒won't know what hit them!好了出发吧All right, let's move out.等等谢尔顿Hang on, Sheldon.你怎么能不告诉我你妹妹要回印度How could you not tell me your sister was moving back to India?也许他当时正忙着Maybe he was too busy写关于我未婚妻的拙劣阴茎隐喻writing clumsy penis metaphors about my fiance.滚你的Screw you.那明明是绝妙的阴茎隐喻That was a beautifully written penis metaphor.各位我实在没心情打彩弹球You know what, guys, I'm not in the mood for paintball.不如我们直接当逃兵吧What do you say we just bag it?我同意好吧随便Fine with me. Sure, whatever.不能当逃兵You can't quit.这样是要交军事法庭审判的罪行That's a courtmartial offense.可被判处... That's punishable by...反正不行You can't quit.抱歉谢尔顿Sorry, Sheldon现在玩彩弹球游戏实在不是时候it's just not a good time for playing games.你以为这是游戏吗This is a game to you?安提耶坦之战也是游戏吗Uh, was the Battle of Antietam a game?美国南北战争时期的著名战役罗马被洗劫也是游戏吗Huh? Was the sack of Rome a game?历史上罗马曾遭多次洗劫是不是不是Yes, no and no.慢着Wait.我只是想你们知道我原谅你们了I just want you all to know that I forgive you.这次叛变不是你们的错This mutiny isn't your fault是我的问题it's mine.我配不上这些两道杠[军衔] I haven't earned these bars.显然我的领导才能的不足Although what I lack in leadership全弥补在缝纫技术上了apparently I more than make up for in sewing.算了吧谢尔顿Let it go, Sheldon.原名坚宝果汁回家的路上我会给你买杯丈八果汁的I'll get you a Jamba Juice on the way home.不要No.丈八果汁是给英雄喝的Jamba Juice is for heroes.所以我们要当英雄And that's what we're going to be.你要干嘛What are you doing?步柯克船长和嘎嘣脆船长以及袋鼠船长的后尘Following in the footsteps of Kirk, Crunch and Kangaroo.地质学不是真正的科学Geology isn't a real science!那帮混球太过分了Damn those sons of bitches!干掉他们Let's get 'em!尝尝老子的厉害Eat paint!如果将来有谢尔顿党的话If there's ever a Church of Sheldon那应该就是从此时开始的this will be when it started.哎呦喂Ow!让我们为英雄举杯I'd like to propose a toast正是他悲壮的牺牲我们才能赢得胜利to the man whose noble sacrifice inspired our victory 感谢谢尔顿·库珀上尉Captain Sheldon Cooper.说得好说得妙Hear, hear. Hear, hear.抱歉应该是谢尔顿·库珀少校Excuse me. It's Major Sheldon Cooper.为了犒赏在沙场上的英勇With my last breath我用仅存的一口气给自己升了一级官I awarded myself a battlefield promotion.这也算小有成就吧It's kind of a big deal.嗨你们有时间吗Hi. You guys have a minute?当然有Uh, yeah, sure.好的Okay.我已经跟拉杰谈过了Well, I already talked to Raj但是我想向你们其他几个道歉but I wanted to apologize to the rest of you for为之前的一切道个歉you know, everything.拜托佩妮让我来说吧Please, Penny, let me.我们决定让那晚既疯狂又美好的春宵We've decided to let our crazy, wonderful night together 成为大家心里的美好回忆be just one of those memories you have当你们心情低落或洗澡时and can call to mind when you're feeling blue可以拿出来回味一下or you're in the shower.你这是干什么三分钟先生[早泄王?] Hey, what you doing, Quick Draw?抱歉您请说Sorry. Go on.总之我来是想告诉大家Anyways, I wanted you guys all to know我很认真地审视了一遍自己that I've been taking a really hard look at things于是得出一个结论and come to the conclusion我不能再自欺欺人了I have to stop kidding myself.我根本不会演戏I suck at acting.是时候卷铺盖回家了It's time for me to move back to Nebraska.你要走吗You're leaving?对Yeah.你准备回内布拉斯加做什么What are you going to do in Nebraska?不知道或许教表演吧I don't know, maybe teach acting.抱歉稍等Oh, sorry. Hold on.你好Hello?佩妮听着我不希望你是因为我才走的Penny, listen, I hope you're not doing this 'cause of you and me因为我有女友相伴而你只能孤芳自赏because I have a girlfriend, and you're a single woman...别吵我经纪人打来的Shh! It's my agent, it's my agent.你开什么玩笑You're kidding.天啊Oh, my gosh.我简直不敢相信真的吗I can't believe it! Really?!我太激动了Oh, I'm so excited!谢谢Thank you!非常感谢Thank you so much.好再见Okay, bye.我接了个痔疮广告I got the hemorrhoid commercial!周一开拍I start Monday!那内布拉斯加呢What about Nebraska?鬼才回内布拉斯加Oh, hell with Nebraska.姐要当明星啦I'm gonna be a star!你有考虑过教物理吗Have you ever thought of teaching physics?准备要上马了吗Ready to ride?恐怕不行妈I don't think so, Mom.今天不行Not today.小宝贝Oh, sweetie.痔疮又犯了吧Hemorrhoids acting up again?你不会明白我的痛You don't know the half of it.不我懂Oh, yes, I do.只需轻抹痛处一点点Try a dab of this."女性专用玫瑰香型白宫痔疮膏""Rosescented PreparationH for women?"现在白宫的大门是专为你而开Now, the "H" Is for "Her."我真为你感到骄傲I'm proud of you.别吵到我抖包袱了Shh! Here comes my joke.感觉如何How you doing?双关: 痔疮没问题+骑马很开心爽快又自在Sittin' pretty.第二集你干嘛呢What are you doing?普丽娅一会要跟我用Skype视频Oh, uh, Priya's calling in a few minutes on Skype我们准备共进晚餐and we are gonna have a dinner date.现在是孟买时间早上八点It's 8 o'clock in the morning in Mumbai.她怎么就吃起晚饭来了How can she have dinner?好吧随你怎么说Fine, whatever.那普丽娅就吃早餐好了Priya will be having breakfast.好吧所以严格来讲你们俩不是共进晚餐All right, so technically it's not a dinner date.也许你勉强可以把这称为共进早晚餐I suppose you could call it a, uh, dinfast date.不过你要是真这么叫的话But if you did, you'd open yourself你肯定会被别人笑死人家肯定会说to peerbased mocking, such as莱纳德你昨晚跟普丽娅的早晚餐吃的好吗"Hey, Leonard, how was your dinfast with Priya last night?"听起来不像是在笑话我呀That doesn't sound like mocking.我还没说完呢You didn't let me finish.早晚餐Dinfast.那是大豆蜡的蜡烛吗Are those soybased candles?不知道怎么了I don't know. Why?石蜡蜡烛可能含有致癌物Paraffin candles may contain carcinogens.当然啦你要是想吃顿早晚餐Unless lung cancer is the ambiance还搭上肺癌的话我也不拦你you were going for at your dinfast.早晚餐Dinfast.我不想无礼Listen, I don't want to be rude可是普丽娅随时都会打来but Priya's gonna be calling any minute, so...对哦普丽娅Oh, yes, Priya.莱纳德你知道我从来Leonard, you know I make a point of都不干涉你的私事never interfering in your personal affairs.没错我也一直很欣赏你这点Yes, I've always admired that about you.那是当然As well you should.但是我这次要破例了But I'm going to make an exception here.又来了Oh, good.普丽娅回印度去发展自己的法律事业Priya has moved back to India to pursue her law career. 你与其花这些时间绝望地挣扎Instead of desperately trying费劲心思地保持这段跨洲恋情to keep this intercontinental relationship alive你还不如找点别的兴趣爱好呢you could use that time to take up a hobby.兴趣爱好A hobby?没错Yes.我最近得知堪萨斯州一个家伙I read recently about a fellow in Kansas拿麻绳团了一个巨大的球with an enormous ball of twine.我认为你可以跟他一比高下I bet you could give him a run for his money.你知道吗有些人可能会说You know, some people might say that it's great我们俩保持这种异地恋是精神可嘉的事that we're trying to make things work long distance. 他们会说They'd say things like爱情不会被你们俩之间的距离所打败"Love is stronger than the miles between you".等有一天我掌权了我肯定会灭掉这帮人When I rise to power, those people will be sterilized.你也整天跟艾米视频呀You videochat with Amy all the time.咱俩干的事有什么不同How is this different?你不喜欢艾米吗Don't you like Amy?我当然喜欢艾米啦Of course I like Amy.可我不喜欢普丽娅呀Well, there's the difference.不好意思普丽娅打来了Excuse me, that's Priya.莱纳德Hi, Leonard.亲爱的Hey, honey.我好想你I miss you.我也好想你Oh, I miss you, too.我怀念以前爱情伴侣们I miss the old days when your romantic partners能退回录像店的日子could be returned to the video store.谢谢你让我待在这Thanks for letting me stay here这样我就不用看着莱纳德跟他女朋友视频了while Leonard Skypes with his girlfriend.小意思Oh, it's no problem.这种感觉还挺不错的呢It's actually kind of nice.你在看书我也在看书You reading, me reading.咱俩就像一对老夫老妻似的We're like an old married couple.咱俩要真是老夫老妻的话If we were an old married couple妻子这个时候就会端上冻柠茶和曲奇饼了the wife would serve iced tea and snickerdoodles.我家没有冻柠茶和曲奇饼I don't have iced tea and snickerdoodles.尽职的妻子就会去商店买A good wife would go to the store.我要离婚I want a divorce.很好你去找律师的路上Good. On the way to see the lawyer别忘了买点冻柠茶和曲奇饼pick up some tea and cookies.我还真得说我挺喜欢你这张新椅子的I must say, I am enjoying your new chair.舒服吧It's great, isn't it?没错It is.符合腰椎曲线Aligns the lumbar支撑住了尾骨还平衡了臀部cradles the coccyx, balances the buttocks.这椅子还真对得起它的名字This is a chair worthy of the name.什么名字What name?椅子呀Chair.好吧你喜欢就好Oh, all right, well, I'm glad you like it.我还是想不通I mean, I still can't get over the fact怎么有人就忍心把它给扔了呢someone just threw it away.你说什么What?就是说呀这椅子就被丢在路上Yeah, it was just sitting on the street.我给了个流浪汉十块钱让他帮我把这张椅子搬上来的I paid a homeless guy ten bucks to help me get it up here.哦天呐哦天呐Oh, dear. Oh, dear.你怎么啦What is wrong?我刚坐在垃圾上了I've been sitting in garbage!谢尔顿淡定嘛Sheldon, take it easy.你去淡定吧我得去趟浴室You take it easy! I need to use your shower.我当年结婚的时候还是太过乐观了I went into this marriage with so much hope.浴室地板上有张湿创口贴There's a wet BandAid on the shower floor!真有意思This is fun.我还从来没用过热成型液压机呢I've never used a hydraulic thermoforming press before.很赞吧Pretty sweet, huh?这个小玩意儿花了学校十七万五千刀This little baby set the university back 175 grand.三分钟到了That's three minutes.让我们看看成果如何马上好Shall we see what we got? Hang on哦也Oh, yeah.这真是个有型的三明治This is one goodlooking panini.把金枪鱼三明治给我Hand me the tuna melt.给多谢Yep. Thank you.你那跨国异地恋怎么样啦How's it going with the longdistance love affair?不容易啊但我俩正在努力Not easy, but we're making it work.你这句"正在努力"包不包括玩些线上耍流氓啊When you say "Making it work," does that include doing the cyber nasty?什么What?你懂的就是虚拟的很黄很暴力的那种啊You know, the virtual pickle tickle.数字化的嘿嘿咻咻The digital... bowchickabowbow.拜托伙计你在说我妹啊Come on, dude. This is my sister you're talking about.喂对你来说Hey, Leonard jiggling his junk at her莱纳德在摄像头里对着她抖那货through a webcam has got to be easier for you to deal with 总要好过他当着她的面拿那货戳她吧than him actually touching her with it.我没那么猥琐There's no junk jiggling.我们就是聊天而已We just talk.你疯了吧Are you sane?有了高速互联网你的指尖下With highspeed Internet, you have at your fingertips注: 小手帕是撸sir之友就是继小手帕之后性爱领域的the greatest advancement in the field of sex最伟大的进步啊since the invention of the washcloth.我不能那么做I can't do that.好吧你要是不这么做Well, if you don't你就是把普丽娅拱手让给某个you're gonna lose Priya to some fancy guy in a turban从小看《印度爱经》插图版长大的头巾男了who grew up with Kama Sutra coloring books.你怎么能这么种族歧视呢How can you be so racist?。