From Compliments to Discuss Cultural Distinction in Daily Communication Between the East and the West摘要恭维语是一种普遍的社会现象, 恰到好处的使用它能拉近交际双方的距离，避免语用失误。
在跨文化交际中 ,它们起着问候、鼓励、致谢、开启话题及缓解矛盾等作用，同时由于中西方在社会结构，以及文化背景方面的不同，导致了恭维语在实施过程中的文化差异，了解其中的文化差异不仅有助于人们在跨文化交际中恰当的使用恭维语，而且还可以避免文化冲突，同时比较中西方恭维语在语言形式、应答、恭维目标几个方面的差异,指出跨文化交流中恭维和接受恭维造成误解的原因,对于跨文化交际具有重要意义。
在跨文化交流中,中国人一向内敛,奉行“慎言”“寡言”原则,在言语上自制而谨慎,对他人的语言又有高度的敏感性,相形之下,美国人则比较外向,惯于表达自己,也愿用语言表达内心世界。
他们更相信语言的创造力,强调个人的外向延伸,要解决恭维语交流中出现误解这一问题,只有相互了解彼此之间的文化和文化背景。
语言与文化是不可分的,只有努掌握彼此之间的语言以及文化背景才能使我们在跨文化交流中尽量少出错误,这不仅对恭维语,对其它言语行为也是同样重要的。
关键词: 恭维语；差异；应答；误解；跨文化交际。
AbstractCompliments are a universal social phenomenon. If we use it exactly, we can shorten the distance of our communicator and avoid pragmatic failure. In the process of cross-cultural communication, they play a role of greeting, expressing one's thanks congratulating and encouraging others, opening a conversation and loosing conflicts etc. At the same time, owing to the different social systems and cultural backgrounds between the east and the west, such complications result in a cultural difference in the course of using compliments .To understand the difference can not only help one use compliments correctly ,but also can avoid cultural conflicts in the intercultural communication. Probing the differences between Chinese and Western compliments in a cross-cultural perspective and analyzing the course of misunderstanding are the key to a successful cross- cultural communication. In cross-cultural communication, the Chinese have always been reserved, sticking to the principle of prudence and reticence, obeying the principle of self-control and carefulness when communicating, having a high degree of sensitivity toward other’s languages. By contrast, the Americans are outgoing. They are prone to express themselves and willing to use language to express their inner world. They also believe the creativity of language, emphasizing the outward extension of the individual. So only if we understand each nation’s cultural backgrounds can we have a good cross-cultural communication. Language and culture are inseparable, only do we strive to master the language as well as their cultural backgrounds can minimize the cross-cultural communication errors. This does not only aim at the compliment language, but also is equally important to speech act.Key words: compliment; difference; response; misunderstanding; cross- cultural communication.Contents1.Introduction (1)2.The Main Existing Reasons for Cultural Differences in Chinese and Western Compliments (2)3.Difference in Using Language (3)4.Difference in Response Formulas .................................................................. .. (4)5.Difference in Target of Compliment (6)5.1 Appearance (6)5.2 The Difference of Complimenting Other's Ability and Achievement (7)6.Dispel Misunderstanding in Cross-cultural Communication. (8)7.Conclusion (11)Works Cited (12)1. IntroductionLanguage is the carrier of social culture, it recording and transferring the culture. With no exception, compliment as a language phenomenon and the most common speech are very common in daily life. When people use the language of compliment, there would be under certain social environment, they should pay attention to those differences, such as different nationalities, cultures, historical periods, economic base, people’s values, living habits and different aesthetic manners. In the process of implementation, compliments can reflect each other’s social status. Generally speaking, such differences are a reflection of cultural diversities. In the process of cross-cultural communication between eastern and western countries, compliment is one of the most common used languages. It often plays a role of greeting, gratitude, opening the topic, as well as the role of loosing the contradictions. But each nation has its own language and culture which are different from the other nations. These languages and cultures have their own unique form and content which have a distinctive national characteristic. As different nations, there are huge differences in the use of compliment and response, for example: When one was invited to dinner at a friend’s house, the Americans always boast, “your wife is very beautif ul”, while in China people always said, “Your child is clever”. With regard to compliment and its response, the Chinese and westerners are different. Westerners tend to bravely say “Thank you”, whereas the Chinese are not as straightforward as they are, th ey often say “不行, 不行” , “哪里，哪里” or “差远了” and so on to express his humble attitude .Therefore, in the process of verbal communication, the Chinese and westerners often make some jokes when they use the language of compliment, which sometimes even cause unpleasant results. The paper aims at pointing out that it is not enough to only master the language itself. The key in cross-cultural communication is to study the culture which hides behind language such as values, customs and taboos by making use of the differences among the form of language, response and compliment.2. The Main Existing Reasons for Cultural Differences in Chinese and Western ComplimentsChinese and Western cultures are totally two different types of culture. Because of different social structures and cultural backgrounds, each nation formed its own values, ways of thinking and cultural statute. As we know, China is a country with five-thousand-year’s history and culture. Meanwhile China is also a traditional agricultural country, whose culture is based on morals of farming civilization. The Chinese often regard the nature as a whole harmony and claim the integration between human beings and the whole universe, which forms the ideology of “Nature and Humanity" and the values based on groups. While due to the impact of traditional education of ancient China, China is a hierarchy society and attach great importance to the doctrine of “noble if the upper, humble if the down” and “lower oneself to show respect to others”. O n the other hand western countries didn’t have such a long history, especially the United States which is relatively a short history country with multi-ethnic and multi-cultural capitalist rule. The early immigrants came to the North American continent to find a new life in order to keep away from the shackles of feudal tradition and their oppression. Therefore, such sentences “that all men are equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of Happiness” were written in Declaration of Independence. The principle that “All men are born to equal” has become every American’s pursuit, and they are deeply rooted in their hearts. So from this point of view, this principle is based on objects and extravagant local business as well as is one typical western culture. The western culture emphasizes on the universe philosophy called “Separation of the Universe from Man” and their value is mainly based on the individual. So the westerners take little about the concept of hierarchy and the thought of respecting the noble. When communicating with people, they often adopt the “strategy of seeking the same” in order to maintain equality with each other.3. Difference in Using LanguageOne evidential feature for our Chinese using the compliment is to express respect to the people who is worthy. When asked about the names of others, the Chinese always say, “你贵姓?” or “ 你尊姓大名?”. When someone built a new house, people always say, “恭喜你大厦落成”. When a family had a baby, people always say, “恭喜你喜得贵子”. The above utterances can be heard at any time in our daily life. While the westerners have a different state. They think that such language is entirely superfluous. When asked about one’s name, they simply use this question, “Can I have your name?” or “What’s your name?” After the other side giving a short answer, the questioners always reply “You have a lovely name” and they seldom use respect language at the beginning. In many occasions the Chinese always use compliment to heighten the opposite people and detract himself, however westerners use compliment to advocate equality. They think that it is inappropriate to use immoderate courtesy and compliment, thus they often adopt a rather simple adjectives to praise people, such as “good, great, nice”. In order to achieve the effect of humor and exaggeration, sometimes they even add an adjective before derogatory term, such as “terrific, awfully”, “You are awfully nice.” When using compliment, a significant difference here is the different position of personal pronouns. The Chinese people always like to put the second person “you” on the first place of the sentence when they compliment on somebody, such as “Your dress is so saucy”, “Your design is so fashionable”. While the westerners use the first person, putting “I” on the first place of sentence. Please look at the following examples:⑴. I think your coat suits you.你的外套蛮合身。
