2010年MTV电影大奖颁奖典礼TV SPECIAL PRESENTATIONLadies And Gentlemen, MtvPresents A Very Special MessageFrom The Producer Of This Year's Mtv Movie Awards. >> ??? The Awards, Years I HaveDone It BetterAnd I've MadeMore Money Than Anybody InHollywood.Besides The Money And The Power,And The Money And The Power,I Do It For Only One Reason --You.You See, Movies Are Nothing ButA Marriage, A Picture And Sound.My Job Is To Get Those TwoThings DrunkAnd Make ThenAnd The Illegitimate Baby TheyMake Is Called It.I'm Sorry???You're A Huge Movie Star.>> And I'm Going To Make You Two[ Bleep ] Even Bigger.Two Words -- Badass Cop!BAD-ASS COP!A LES GRASSMAN PRODUCTION>> Here We Are, Two MillionDomestic, Bitch.>> Do You Know What That GetsMe?>> It Also Buys Me These BookEnds.>> I Miss My Family.And I Live To Bring YouPeople The Best.>> Are You Done Playing?You're In My World Now!You Can't Get By In This MovieWith Your Hollywood Charm AndYour Lil Wayne Cornrows!You Make Me Sick!>> Come On, Man.Dude.I Don't Care If He's .We're Talking About My KarateKid Here.>> Look, I Brought Him HereBecaushe Is Ready.>> Fresh Prince Said He IsReady.>> Parents Just Don't Understand.>> What Are You Going To Do?Can I Touch Your Hair?>> Bring It!That's My Karate Kid!Finish It!>> Did I Break It?>> He Said Finish It.>> Finish It!Good Job.Okay, Good.That's Why I'm Producing ThisYear's Mtv Movie Awards,BecauseTonight I'm Going To Shove This Lump Of Coal Up My AssAndClinch My Butt Cheeks And CrapIt Out Of You,And If YouCelebutards Do Anything To？？[ Bleep ], I'm Going To Mess YouUp.So Sit Back And Relax And EnjoyMy [ Bleep ] Two Hours.This Is The Mtv MovieAwards With Appearances By --JESSIC BIELSANDRA BULLOCKBRADLEY COOPERMIRANDA COSGROVETOM CRUISECAMERON DIAZZAC EFRONZACH GALIFIANAKSWILL FERRELLJONAH HILLSCARLETT JOHANSSONTAYLOR LAUTNERROBERT PATTINSONADAM SANDLERWILL SMITHKRISTEN STEWARTSHAUN WHITEPERFORMANCES BYCHRISTINA AGUILERAAND KATY PERRYHOSTED BYAZIZ ANSARIWake Up, Bro.It's The Mtv Movie Awards,You Need To Get Some Rest.I Never Have Been To BedBefore.Then It Won't Be So Hard For You Get Up Then.This Here Is My NewGirlfriend.I Don't Believe This.Let's Pack Your Stuff Up AndGet Out Of Here, Mike.I Never Had Any Stuff.Then I Guess You're All Packed.Let's Go.>> See Ya.Bye.Are You Going To Bed?Are You Excited About Hosting The Awards Tonight?>> That's Right.Shut The [ Bleep ] Up.I'm Trying To Sleep.>> Okay.Sweet Dreams.>> My Name Is Aziz Ansari.I Want To Be On The Cover Of A Magazine.I Want To Host The Mtv Movie And My Mom Is Mean As>> Get Down Here!Get Down Here! >> It's Amanda Seyfried From "Dear John."She Wanted Me To Help Her Work On Her Speech In Case She Wins. >> You Want Me To [ Bleep ]! >> I Usually Eat While I'm Running.>> You Plan On Putting Some Food In The Frying Pan?I Don't See The Pan Anywhere. >> It's Around Somewhere.>> You're A Dummy, Bitch.Don't Nobody Want You, Don't Nobody Need You.>> Nobody Loves Me.>> Your Baby Loves You.>> Oh, Man.I've Got To Go Host The Show. How Am I Going To Get People Excited Before I Get On Stage? >> Maybe I Can Help.>> Justin Bieber, What Are You Doing Here?>> Here To Make The Girls Go Crazy.Listen. >> They're Screaming So Loud!That's Amazing.Thank You, Justin Bieber.>> No Problem.>> Ladies And Gentlemen, Here ToHost The Mtv Movie Awards,Aziz Ansari!>> Thank You.What's Up?Welcome To The Mtv Movie Awards.My Name Is Aziz Ansari.I'm Your Host For The Evening.I'm So Excited To Be Here.The Big Thing In Movies ThisYear Was -D Movies.Now, Some People Don't Like -D.I Love -D.I Love -D.But Full Disclosure, I ThinkHeadaches Are Dull, So I'm ALittle Bit Biassed.Some People Do Like -D Too MuchThough.Oh, Man, I Just Saw A Movie In-D It Looks So Real.I Just Saw This Movie In -D ItLooks So Real.Do You Know What Else LooksReal?Movies.Any Movie That Came Out RecentlyLooks Real.I Mean "Julie & Julia" LooksReal.I Don't Watch That Movie AndDon't Go, Those Aren't People,Those Aren't Pots And Pans.Nobody Is Sauteing Butter InThat Thing.Do You Know What Doesn't LookReal?"Clash Of The Titans" And"Avatar."Those Movies Look Like VideoGames."Avatar" Was The Biggest MovieOf All Time.The Biggest Movie Of All Time.But How Did James Cameron PitchThat Movie?He Must Have Sounded Like ACrazy Person.Can You Imagine A Friend ComingUp To You And Going Like,I WantTo Make A Movie About Blue Aliens. Gonna Take Me Years.And I'm Going To Spend$ Million.Well, That's Quite A Big Leap OfFaith, Is There Anything YouTell Me About The Movie?Yeah, At One Point,A Dude Is Going To [ Bleep ] Me With His Ponytail.Okay, Good Luck With ThatProject, Dude.But It's The Mtv Movie Awards,So The Biggest Movies Are The "Twilight" Movies.I Watch Them.I Watch Them.I Watched Both Of Them.My Favorite Character -- Edward.He's A Smooth, Sexy Vampire.Smooth, Sexy Vampire.He Goes Out With His Girl On ADate And He Goes -- You BetterHold On Tight, Spider Monkey.That's Smooth.I Say The Same Things To Girls Whenever Thai Step In My KiaSportage.You Better Hold On Tight, Spider Monkey, We're Going To Quiznos.So I Finished "Twilight" And I'mAll Psyched To Watch "New Moon"And See Edward And The Dude IsGone The Whole Movie.The Movie Starts, Sorry I GottaMove And He Finally Shows Up AtThe End.All Right, I'm Done Filming,Remember Me, Here I Am.The Girl Bella Got To ChooseBetween Jacob The Wolf BoyAnd ---- Jacob Or Edward.And She's Like, Edward.I'm Down.Edward Is Like, Cool, Want ToGet Married?Like Right Away.Doesn't Give The Wolf Guy AnySpace To Leave.Like He Bends Down To Propose And The Wolf Nudges Her On The Shoulder That's How Little FaithHe Gives.And Then After He Proposes LikeThe Credits Start Rolling RightAway Like That's A Big Cliff-Hanger. No, It's Not.We All Know She's Going To SayYes.You Can't Have Your Hero RunningWhich -- Away From A Bunch Of Explosion,It, To Be Continued.All Right.Are You Ready To Get This ShowStarted?Okay.Now, I Didn't See TheDocumentary "Babies,"But I'm Very Excited To See The First Presenters In The Sequels "Grown Ups."Please Welcomes The Grown-Ups,Adam Sandler, Adam James, ChrisRock, David Spade And Rob Schneider! How You Guys?In Our New Movie "Grown Ups,"The Five Of Us Actually Play AGrown-Up.It Was The Greatest ActingChallenge Of Our Lives.>> To Prepare For Our Roles, WeLived Amongst The Grown-Ups.Dressed Like Them And Learned ToSpeak Their Language.Using Big Words Like MortgageAnd Fertilizer.We Had To Learn To Walk Like TheGrown-Ups.We Forced Ourselves To GainPounds In Our Asses Like TheGrown-Ups In North And South Dakota. >> We Hired A Team Of Doctors ToInject Our Bodies With ArthritisAnd Constantly Had To Fight OurNatural Urges To Pee In Our BedsAnd Play With Our SpidermanDolls.And I Had To Force Myself ToDate Grown-Up Women,Some As OldAs .I Just Thank God The Movie IsComing Out So We Can Go Back ToPlaying XboxAnd Sucking Out Of Our Mother's Milk Bottle. >> The Nominees For Best FemalePerformance Are -->> Best Female Performance.Kristen Stewart.>> Zoe Saldana.EMMA WATSON>> Sandra Bullock.>> Amanda Seyfried.I DON'T THINK SO.>> Winner For Best FemaleIs Kristen Stewart.>> You Guys Want To Do This ForMe?>> All Right.Thank You So Much.This Is Awesome.I Guess -- I Guess "Twilight" IsReally Awesome And I Agree.And Um, I Want To Say Hi ToChris Because I Haven't TalkedTo Him In A While AndHe Directed The Movie And I ReallyLoved Him And How Cool Is This,Chris, Right?Okay.I'm Going To Peace Out And ThankYou So Much.>> From The Movie "Takers",???Please Welcome T.I.>> Hey, What's Happening.So Kristen Stewart, Will She GetAnother Award For Best Kiss?We're Back.TThe Next Presenters Are Going ToBe On Stage For About As Long AsI Appear In Their Hit Film "Get Him To The Greek." Please Welcome Russell Brand,Jonah HillAnd Sean "Diddy"Combs.>> We Are Here To Present TheAward For Best Breakout Star.>> Oh, My God, You Guys, IsTaylor Lautner Here?>> I'm Not Excited About LautnerBecause Robert Pattison Is Here.I'm Going To Need TesticularSurgery.>> You Know This Is Why We'llNever Be Friends.You're Team Edward ??? And ??? It's LikeIsrael And Palestine.>> ??? Israel!>> What The [ Bleep ] Are YouGuys Talking About?>> We Were Doing The Movie, YouGuys Had These Same Types OfConversations.I Don't Understand Any Of ThisFrom Where I'm From.What Are You Talking About?And -- Every Time You Guys OpenYour Mouths, I Get Less Cool.>> Well, Puffy, Well, The TeamEdward Versus Team Jacob Is LikeThe East Coast/West CoastConflict That You Went Through.Thank Heavens Now -- ???>> Exactly Like That.>> I'm Still Angry With YouBecause We're On DifferentTeams.>> I Seriously Hate You ???You Know, I'm Never Doing AMovie With You Again.And -- Well, Let's Get To TheReason We're Here.>> Best Break Outstar.Zach Galinfianakis.>> Gabourey Sidibe.>> Chris Pine.>> Anna Kendrick.>> Logan Lerman.>> And If You Ain't Seen "GetHim To The Greek," Make Sure YouThank You Very Much.The Winner Of This -- Well Done.The Prize For This>> Taylor Lautner?>> No.It's Actually Anna Kendrick From"Up In The Air." ???>> Well Done.I Am Not Cool Enough To WinAn Mtv Movie Award So I'm NotGoing To Mess It Up By Talking Any More Than I Should.This Is The Coolest Moment Ever.This Is Going On My CoffeeTable.Thank You So Much!>> Ladies And Gentlemen, For ASpecial Salute To Music InCinema, Please Welcome Ed Helms And Ken Jeong. To A Tour Of YourDreams.Through The Music Of Cinema.* What Do Tigers Dream OfWhen They Take A Little TigerSnooze ** Do They Dream Of Zebras OrHalle Berry In A Cat WomanSuit ** Don't You Worry Your PrettyStriped Head We'll Get You BackTo Your Cozy Tiger Bed ** Then We'll Find Our BestFriend And Then We're Gonna GiveHim A Best Friend Hug *>> Are We Live?>> Are People Seeing This?I Warned You, [ Bleep ]! ???This Is A Journey To The ClouScape Of Dreams.I'm A Metaphor!You -- You Get The [ Bleep ] OffMy Stage!Do Everything Myself?Take Off!Luda, You In The House?>> Lg, What's Happening, Man?Playa.>> What's Up, Man?>> Yeah.I'm In A Bit Of A Bind Here,Man.I Saw That.You Think You -- You Got Time ToHit Me With A Beat?>> Come On, Man, You Know IfAnybody Got You, I Got You.Let's Kill It.>> One, Two, Three.* Here's Another OneAnd A, And A, Another One *Yeek Yeek Whoop Whoop ** Why You All In My EarTalkin' A Whole Bunch A* That I Ain't Tryin' To Hear ** Get Back, [ Bleep ]You Don't Know Me Like That ** Get Back, [ Bleep ]You Don't Know Me Like That ** So So Come On, Come On, Don'tGet Swung On, Swung On ** It's The Knickknack PattyWhack ** Still Riding Cadillacs Family Off The Streets ** Made My Homeys Put The Baggies Back ** Whoo, Still Stackin' Plaques Yep, Still Action Packed ** Yep, And DopeI Keep It Flippin' LikeAcrobats ** That's Why I Pack A MackThat'll Crack A Back ** 'Cause On My WaistThere's More HeatThan The Shaq Attack** I'm About To Sign You Up ** We Can Get RightBefore The Night Is Up ** We Can Get RightWe Can Get Right, We Can Get Right ** I'm About To Fill Your CupSo We Can Get Right ** Before The Night Is UpWe Can Get Right ** Tonight, We Can Get RightLet's Get It *You Don't Know Me Like That ** I Came, I CameI Saw, I Saw ** I Hit Him Right Dead In The Jaw ** In The JawI Came, I Came ** I Saw, I SawI Hit Him Right Dead In TheJaw In The Jaw** Hey, You Want What With Me * * I'm Gonna Tell You One Time Don't [ Bleep ] With Me ** Get Down'Cause I Ain't Got Nothing To LoseAnd I'm Having A Bad Day ** Don't Make Me Take It Out On You *>>> Here Are The Stars Of "Dinner With Schmucks," Steve Carell And Paul Rudd.>> Some Movies Make You Laugh. Some Movies Make You Cry.>> And Some Movies Literally Scare The [ Bleep ] Out Of You. >> Steve, I Think You're Misusing Literally.>> No, When I Saw "ParanormalActivity," I LiterallyHere Are The Nominees For BestScared-As-S**T Performance.>> Best Scared-As-S**TPerformance.Jesse Eisenberg. ZOMBIELANDALISON LOHMAN DRAG ME TO HELL>> Katie Featherston,"Paranormal Activity." >> Sharlto Copley, "District .">> Amanda Seyfried, "Jennifer'sBody.">> And The Winner Is --Amanda Seyfried.>> Thank You Very Much.Yes, See, Believe It Or Not,I Had A Really Good Time MakingThis Movie And Even Though Not ALot Of People Saw,I'm ReallyProud Of This.So Anyway, Thanks, Fans, ForVoting.It's Really Cool.>> No Sign Of Him, My Lord.>> I Must Be The One To KillHarry Potter.>> The Boy You Knew, Came ToDie.>> Your Parents Are Dead!You Have No Family.Justin Bobby In The Building,Y'all, Don't Get Too Excited.The Next Presenters Have H AnEasy Life Because They're SoAttractive.From "The A-Team," BradleyCooper And Jessica Biel.>> All Right.Hey, Thank You.Jessica And I Are Here ToPresent The Award For Best Kiss.>> Yes, But Don't Get AllExcited.Bradley And I Are Not Going ToMake Out Tonight.>> Sorry, Bradley.>> You Guys Are Gonna Make OutTonight.>> Throughhe Kiss Cam.>> Here's Some Of The PeopleThat Did It Almost A Little BitBetter. Ryan Reynolds And SandraBullock, "The Proposal.">> Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, "The Twilight Saga: New Moon."Taylor Swift And Taylor Lautner. "Valentine's Day."Zoe Saldana And Sam Worthington, "Avatar."Kristen Stewart And Dakota Fanning, "The Runaways.">> And The Best Kiss Is --Kristen Stewart And Robert Pattinson.>> Thanks A Lot, Guys.It's Very Stiff Competition This Year, So Thanks Very Much.It's Really Nice To Win TwoYears In A Row.>>SO I Guess -- The Best Thing Was Kissing Each Other.But To Be Perfectly Honest With You, Um, It Takes A Lot Of Smoke And Mirrors To Make Us Look Good Kissing.And I Mean, We Don't Want To Let You Guys Down.We'll Give It A Shot, But>> Let's Try It Again, Sorry.>> We Should Do This, Right?>> From The Upcoming -DAnimated Film "Despicable Me," Please Welcome Jason Segel And Miranda Cosgrove.I Want To Start By Saying, ILove Icarly.>> No, I Mean, Like A Lot.>> Thanks.That's Very Nice Of You. >> It's Like My Favorite Show. >> Wow, Thank You.I'm Like -->> No, I'm A Big Fan Of YourWork Too.Anyway -->> Our Next Performance And I,We Have A Lot In Common.Our Hobbies Include Being Incredibly PhysicallyAttractive.Super Talented And Just Like Wildly Good At Rapping.>> Ladies And Gentlemen, Performing Her Summer Smash,"California Girls," Give It UpFor Katy Perry And Snoop Dogg!>> Greetings Loved One.Let's Take A Journey.* I Know A PlaceWhere The Grass Is ReallyGreener ** Warm, Wet And Wild ** There Must Be Something In The Water ** Sippin' Gin And JuiceLaying Underneath The PalmTrees ** The Boys Break Their NecksTryin' To Creep A Little Sneak* You Could Travel The WorldBut Nothing Comes Close To The Golden Coast ** Once You Party With UsYou'll Be Falling In Love ** Oh, Oohcalifornia GirlsWe're Unforgettable ** Daisy DukesBikinis On TopSun Kissed Skin ** So Hot* Ooh, Oh, OohCalifornia Girls ** We're UndeniableFine, Fresh, Fierce ** We Got It On LockWest Coast RepresentNow Put Your Hands Up ** Ooh, Oh, OohSex On A BeachWe Get Sand In Our Stilettos ** We Freak In My JeepSnoop Doggy Dogg On The Stereo *You Could Travel The World ** But Nothing Comes CloseTo The Golden Coast ** Once You Party With UsOnce You Party With Us ** You'll Be Falling In Love, Oh,Ooh * * California GirlsWe're Unforgettable ** Daisy DukesBikinis On Top *Sun Kissed Skin ** So HotWill Melt Your Popsicle ** Ooh, Oh, OohCalifornia Girls We're Undeniable ** Fine, Fresh, FierceWe Got It On Lock ** West Coast RepresentNow Put Your Hands Up *Tone TanFit And Ready ** Turn It Up 'Cause It's Gettin' Heavy ** Wild Wild West CoastThese Are The Girls I Love The Most ** I Mean The OnesI Mean Like She's The One ** Kiss HerTouch Her ** Squeeze Her Buns* The Girls A FreakShe Drives A Jeep ** The Men On The BeachI'm Okay ** I Won't PlayI Love The BayJust Like I Love L.A. ** Venice BeachAnd Palm SpringsSummertime Is Everything ** Come On, BoysBanging OutAll That Hanging Out ** Bikinis, Tankinis, Martinis No Weenies ** Just A King And A QueenyKaty My Lady ** YeahYou Looking Here, Baby *I'm All Up On You ** 'Cause You Representing CaliforniaOoh, Yeah ** California GirlsWe're Unforgettable ** Daisy DukesBikinis On TopSun Kissed Skin ** So HotWill Melt Your PopsicleOoh, Oh, Ooh ** California GirlsWe're Undeniable ** Fine, Fresh, FierceWe Got It On Lock ** West Coast RepresentWest Coast, West Coast ** Now Put Your Hands UpOoh, Oh, Hey ** Ooh, HeyCalifornia, California,California, Girls, Man ** CaliforniaShake What Your Mama Gave You *West Coast *>> Next, Scarlett Johansson>>> They See The Guys On TheMotorcycle, Doors Are ComingDown, Going To Get Right Under It Before It Closes. You Cool With That?>> Yeah, He's Ready.>> Brandon.>> You All Set, Little Buddy?>> Okay, Brandon You Pull ThisOff In One Trick, There's A BigBecause Of Twizzlers For You.>> Shut The [ Bleep ] Up,Brandon.>> I'll Do It, I Promise.>> Brandon!>> Did I Do A Good Job?>> You Idiot!You Didn't Make It To The DoorIn Time.You Ruined The Shot.>> The Third Time You Boned UsBrandon, You're Done.You're In Longer A Stunt Kid.>> When We Started Off In TheBusiness, A Lot Of The KidsCan't Act For [ Bleep ].>> Kids Are Better At GettingHurt Than Memorizing Lines.>> Here's One I'll Never Forget.>> And Our Clients Don't JustDouble Other Kid Actors.Sometimes They'll Double A-ListSuperstars.Like Hugh Jackman In"Wolverine".The Stunt Man That Pulled ThatOff Is Our Own Kevin Mackie.>> I'll Tell You What, It's ASize Issue.>> We've Got Another Kid WhoWill Pull The Stunt Off, NoProblem.This One Is An Extra Small.All Right, My Man. >> Ladies And Gentlemen, ToPresent This Year's MtvGeneration Award,Please Welcome To The Stage Betty White,Bradley Cooper And ScarlettJohansson.This Year's Generation Award IsBeing Presented To None OtherThan The Lovely Sandra Bullock.I Hope You Know How Loved YouAre, Both For Your IncredibleTalent And For Being Such A Humble And Effervescent Woman.I Know You've Got Many Names.Sandra B.Sands, S-Bomb.Supreme.The Siege.I Had The Good Fortune OfWorking With You And BecomingYour Friend On The Set Of TheAward-Winning Movie "All AboutSteve".And By Awards, I Mean You And IWon The Razzie For Worst ScreenCouple And You Won The RazzieFor Best Screen Actress, ButThat Was On The Same Weekend YouWon The Award For "The Blind Side."Sandy, The Sandman, SandraBullock!You Know That "The Blind Side"And "The Proposal" Made$ Million Each Last Year?That's More Than $ Million.Your Films Are The Only ThingThat Kept Me Afloat Last Year.Sandy S.B. Lorenzo.You're A Once In A GenerationTalent.You Inspire Me To Shine ThroughAny Darkness And CongratulationsOn This Award.>> Sandy, What Can I Say?You Are A Great Person And IAdore You.I Didn't Know You Very Well WhenWe Filmed "The Proposal" Together.Our Sex Scenes -- ???But Don't Worry, Everyone CanSee Them On The -- On The Dvd.Sandy, You Are A NationalTreasure.Which I -- I Know A Thing Or TwoAbout Because My -- I WasRecently Named A Historical Monument.I'm A Huge Fan Of Yours.I Have Seen Every Single One OfYour Movies.Like "Speed" Where You Played AJunkieJunkie Addicted To Amphetamines.And Then In "Crash" Where TheBus Was Going Too Fast.It Just Crashed.That's Why They Named It That,You Know?And Who Could Forget "Miss Congeniality"? When You Played That SouthernWoman Who Was Going After TheFootball Player Who Had A BombStrapped To His Body And Then HeStopped Running?And Then Of Course My PersonalFavorite, Your Daring And RiskyPortrayal Of Stevie Wonder In "The Blind Side." >> Yeah, I Think You've Got ACouple Of Those Wrong.Scarlett, Did You Want To SayAnything?>> No.>> You Don't?Nothing At All?>> No, I'm Good.Let's Take A Look Back AtSandra's Amazing Work.* When I Grow Up, I Want To Be AStar *I'm Cool, I'm Good.>> No, We're All Right.Fbi, You Might Want To Stay OutOf This, Sir.I Need Double Tall.>> Do You Believe In Love AtFirst Sight?>> I Didn't Expect Anything LikeThis To Happen.>> What I Wouldn't Give For SomeAction.>> You Hear Me, Bitch!NO.You Hear Me, Bitch!You Threaten My Son, YouThreaten Me.>> Hurry Up.I Just Had A Gunpointed In MyFace!>> Oh, God, When This Happens. I Can't Breathe.Do You Have Any Place To StayTonight?Whatever You Do With It,Whatever Is Done To You, You'llFace It.>> I'm Scared.>> Did You Get That Tonight?>> You're Changing That Boy'sLife.>> No.He's Changing Mine.>> Ladies And Gentlemen, TheRecipient Of This Year's MtvGeneration Award, Sandra Bullock!Sit Down.We Are On A Time Limit Now.Come On, We're On LiveTelevision.A Lot I Want To Thank, First IWant To Thank Bradley ForCalling Me His Friend, GivenI'd Like To Thank Betty ForBeing --I'd Like To Thank BettyFor Being Such An Extraordinary Woman.I Love Her More Every Day, It'sNot Because Of Her Extraordinary Work,But Because Of The PersonShe Is And The Life She Lived.I Want Your Life.I'm Serious, I Want Your Life.I Want Your Life.>> Honey, Don't Ever Wear ThatDress Backwards.>> And, Scarlett, How You Doing?Are You Good?All Right, Then.So The Generation Award Is AnAward For Old People Who HaveExtended Their Welcome And We Should Make Nice And Leave SoSomeone New Can Come In, ButThat's Not Going To HappenBecause I'm Staying.Because No Matter What You MightHave Seen Or Heard Or ReadLately, I Love What I Do.And I'm Not Going Anywhere.And Speaking Of What You MightHave Read Or Heard Lately,I Thought I'd Take This Moment ToClear Up A Couple Of Things.You Know, Just To Clarify SomeThings.So I Brought Them Here, If YouDon't Mind, A Few.Number One, I'm Not Dead.Number Two, Everybody HasCellulite, Not Just Me.Paparazzi Need More FlatteringLenses.Whoever Established The HighRoad And How High It Was GonnaBe Should Be Fired.And I Have Never Gone DaysWithout Showering, While ChainSpeaking While Crying On The Shoulder Of My Sweet Aunt Loti.I Shower Twice A Day, I Don'tSmoke And My Aunt Died A YearAgo Although She Was Really Happy To Have Just Been Mentioned.So Weird, Scarlett, I ReallyLove You And All, But This IsJust Really Uncomfortable.Why Are You Here?>> Im Here Because RyanCouldn't Be Here And I Wanted ToBe Here When You Accepted YourAward For Best Kiss.That's Really Sweet -->> But We Didn't Win.But I Thought Y Should HaveWon, Because It Was Sweet And ItLooked Really Soft.It Was -- It Was A Really -- IMean, It Was A Really Nice Kiss.>> It Was A Nice Kiss.>> It Was Really.So Happy.Now That We Have Done That, CanWe Please Go Back To Normal?Because Therapy Is ReallyExpensive.Go Back To Making Fun Of Me.I Don't Care.It's Time To Get Back To Normal.I Think When We All Go To BedTonight We Should Think Of AllThe People That Are Affected InThe Gulf And Say A Prayer ForThem And Hope That Everything IsGoing To Be Okay.>> From The Coolest Movie ComingOut This Summer, "Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World," Please Welcome Michael Cera,Anna Kendrick, Aubrey Plaza And Kieren Culkin.>> We're Here To Present TheWorst Wtf Moment.>> Ready To Make The SensorsEars Bleed?>> Sure.>> Bill Murray, When You GotShot In The "Zombieland," I[ Bleep ] My Pants Laughing.And So We Honor You Here Tonight.>> Betty White, When You Groped Sandra Bullock's [ Bleep ]In "The Proposal," It Made Me[ Bleep ] Even More.>> Megan Fox, I Have AlwaysWanted To [ Bleep ] You.And When You Came On To AmandaSeyfried, It Made Me Want To[ Bleep ] You More And WhereverYou Are Tonight I'm Going ToFind You And [ Bleep ] You.>> Isabel Lucas, When You[ Bleep ] With Your Tongue In"Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen," All I Could Think Of Is A Star Is Born.>> Ken Jeong, Your PerformanceIn "The Hangover" Literally Did[ Bleep ] And Permanent Damage To My [ Bleep ]. So Tonight We Honor You.Ken Jeong For "The Hangover.">> Thank You, Thank You.Me And My Penis Would Love ToThank Mtv, And The Voters.This Is Quite An Honor.I'd Like To Thank Judd ApatowFor Discovering Me.And A Shout-Out To The CastCommunity.I Want To Shout Out To DanWeiner, Mom And Dad, Sarah AndMost Of All,Todd Phillips For Hiring Me On And Changing My Life.And More Importantly Than This,I Want To Take The OpportunityTo Thank My Wife And BradleyCooper, A Good Friend Of Mine,Helped Me Through A DifficultTime.She Was Going Through A BreastCancer Treatment And The ReasonI Did This, Life Is Short AndDon't Be Afraid To Take Chances。
