幽默的英语小故事精选
导读：本文幽默的英语小故事精选，仅供参考，如果觉得很不错，欢迎点评和分享。
篇一 a foreign visitor touring the great american west came across an indian with his ear pressed to the ground. 一位外国游客到美国大西部游览，碰到一个印第安人把耳朵紧贴在地上。"what are you listening for?" he asked. "你在听什么呢?"他询问道。"stagecoach pass about half hour ago. “一辆马车半小时前曾经过这里。”"how can you tell?" “你怎么知道呢?'’"broke my neck. " “我的脖子被撞断了。”
篇二 a politician was out on the indian reservation displaying his sympathy for the oppressed native americans. he addressed a gathering of the people. 一位政客抵达一处印第安人居留地向居住在该区被压迫的原住民表达他的关切之情。他向一群民众发表演说。the plight of your tribe has always been close to my heart," said the politician. “我一直切身体会到你们的穷苦困境，”政客说。"umgwalagwala , "responded the audience enthusiastically. “安瓜拉瓜拉!”群众热烈欢呼。i shan' t rest until greater efforts are made on your behalf. “不为你们争取更多的福利，我个人绝不会松
懈。”"umgwalagwala," they responded more loudly. “安瓜拉瓜拉!”群众反应更为热烈。"and i personally guarantee that you will all be accorded full and equal civil rights. " “此外我愿个人保证你们将被赋予完全及公平的公民权利。”"umgwalagwala," shouted the tribe. “安瓜拉瓜拉!”整个部落的人都叫喊起来。the politician was pleased with his reception and asked for a tour of the reservation. soon, he and his guide were standing next to a fenced enclosure. 对这样的接待，政客感到非常高兴，因此他要求游览该居留地，不久他和向导就走到一处封闭的篱笆围墙。"and what is this used for?" asked the orator. “这是做什么用的?，’政客问道。"oh, this empty now, but before we keep bulls in here. " “喔，现在空无一物，但以前我们在这里养牛。”"i see," said the visitor, and was planning to enter the enclosure. “原来如此，”政客说着准备进入篱笆内。"hey,you better not go in there,you likely step in a lot of umgwalagwala." “嘿，你还是不要进去的好，否则你可能踩到很多的安瓜拉瓜拉。”
篇三the airplane was obviously in trouble. one engine was on fire, another was sputtering, and the machine was slowly, ineluctably losing height. 飞机显然出了问题，一个引擎着火，另一个嘎嘎作响，不可避免地，飞机缓慢地失去高度。finally the grim-looking captain entered the cabin. 最后，面
色凝重的机长走进客舱。"ladies and gentlemen," he announced, "we've lost most of our power. the only way to keep the plane aloft is to lighten our load. we've already dumped the baggage, but it's not enough. i-m asking for volunteers to make the supreme sacrifice so that others may live, " “各位女士，各位先生，”他宣布道，“我们已失去了大部分的动力，要保持飞机高度的方法就是减轻我们的载重。虽然我们已经把行李丢掉，但还是不够，我要求几位自告奋勇牺牲生命以保全其他人的性命。”after a few minutes of stunned silence, a frenchman stood to quivering attention, shouted "vive la france!" and threw himself out the door. 一阵目瞪口呆的沉寂之后，一位法国人颤抖着站起来喊道：“法国万岁!”然后跳出机门。shortly thereafter, an englishman rose to his full height,coolly declared, "god save the queen!" and followed thegallant frenchman. 之后一会儿，一位英国人站了出来，他冷静地说：“上帝保佑女王!”接着和那位勇敢的法国人一样跳出门外。finally, a texan rose from his seat, cried, "remember the alamo! " and threw out the mexican sitting next to him. 最后，一位德州佬从座位站起来，叫道：“毋忘阿拉摩!”说着便把隔邻的墨西哥乘客扔出窗外。
英语幽默小故事
1、New Discovery A hillbilly was visiting the big city for the first time. Entering an office building, he saw a pudgy older woman step into a small room. The doors closed, lights flashed, and after a while the door slid open and a beautiful young model stepped off the elevator. Blinking in amazement, the hillbilly drawled, "I shouldhave brought my wife!" 新发现 一个乡下人第一次到大城市游逛。他走进一座大楼，看见一个岁数很大的矮胖女人迈进一个小房间。房间的门随后关上，有几个灯在闪亮。一会儿，门开了，电梯里走出一位年青漂亮的女模特。 乡下人惊奇地眨着眼睛，慢吞吞地说：“我应该把我的老婆带来!” hillbilly n. 乡下人，乡巴佬. pudgy adj.矮胖的，矮而粗的 drawl vt, vi慢吞吞地说；拉长语调地说 2、Always Thirsty "I had an operation," said a man to his friend, "and the doctor left a sponge in me." "That's terrible!" said the friend. "Got any pain?" "No, but I am always thirsty!" 总感到口渴 一个男人对他的朋友说：“我动了一次手术，手术后医生把一块海绵忘在我的身体里了。” “真是太糟糕了！”朋友说道：“你觉得疼吗？”
幽默的英语句子 1) Money is not everything. There…s Mastercard & Visa. 钞票不是万能的，有时还需要信用卡。 2) One should love animals. They are so tasty. 每个人都应该热爱动物，因为它们很好吃。3)Save water. Shower with your girlfriend. 要节约用水，尽量和女友一起洗澡。 4)Love the neighbor. But don…t get caught. 要用心去爱你的邻居，不过不要让她的老公知道。 5)Behind every successful man, there is a woman. And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two. 每个成功男人的背后，都有一个女人。每个不成功男人的背后，都有两个女人。 6)Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life. 再快乐的单身汉迟早也会结婚，幸福不是永久的嘛。 7)The wise never marry, And when they marry they become otherwise. 聪明人都是未婚的，结婚的人很难再聪明起来。 8)Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives. 成功是一个相关名词，他会给你带来很多不相关的亲戚（联系）。 9)Never put off the work till tomorrow what you can put off today. 不要等明天交不上差再找借口，今天就要找好。 10)Love is photogenic. It needs darkness to develop. 爱情就象照片，需要大量的暗房时间来培养。（老外也保守，要摸黑办事，哈哈） 11)Children in backseats cause accidents. Accidents in backseats cause children. 后排座位上的小孩会生出意外，后排座位上的意外会生出小孩。 12)"Your future depends on your dreams." So go to sleep. " 现在的梦想决定着你的将来"，所以还是再睡一会吧。 13)There should be a better way to start a day than waking up every morning. 应该有更好的方式开始新一天，而不是千篇一律的在每个上午都醒来。 14)"Hard work never killed anybody." But why take the risk? " "努力工作不会导致死亡！"不过我不会用自己去证明。 15)"Work fascinates me." I can look at it for hours! " "工作好有意思耶！"尤其是看着别人工作。 16)God made relatives; Thank God we can choose our friends. 神决定了谁是你的亲戚，幸运的是在选择朋友方面他给了你留了余地。 17)When two…s company, three…s the result! 两个人的状态是不稳定的，三个人才是！ 18)A dress is like a barbed fence. It protects the premises without restricting the view. 服饰就象铁丝网，它阻止你冒然行动但并不妨碍你尽情的观看。 19)The more you learn, the more you know, The more you know, the more you forget. The more you forget, the less you know. So why bother to learn. 学的越多，知道的越多，知道的越多，忘记的越多，忘记的越多，知道的越少，为什么学来着？ 1.国外有个节目采访lord of ring（指环王）里面那个小哈比人时，他讲了个冷笑话： Q: a deer, has no eyes, what's its name？（一只鹿，没有眼睛，应该叫什么？） A: I don?t know ,what is it？（我不知道，该叫什么？）
经典幽默英语故事（50个） 要求： 1、每天阅读两篇小故事，写出故事大意，尽量理解故事里的幽默点。 2 3、开学后，请把这14页的阅读素材，装订成册，上交给各班的英语老师。老师会根据你的完成情况，给你的阅读作业打出分数。 姓名：_________ 班级：_________ 学号：_________ 成绩：_________ 第一篇 My First and My Last When George was thirty-five, he bought a small plane and learned to fly it. He soon became very good and made his plane do all kinds of tricks. George had a friend. His name was Mark. One day George offered to take Mark up in his plane. Mark thought, "I've travelled in a big plane several times, but I've never been in a small one, so I'll go." They went up, and George flew around for half an hour and did all kinds of tricks in the air. When they came down again, Mark was very glad to be back safely, and he said to his friend in a shaking voice, "Well, George, thank you very much for those two trips in your plane." Gerogy was very surprised and said, "Two trips?" "Yes, my first and my last," answered Mark. 故事大意： _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________第二篇 First Flight Mr. Johnson had never been up in an aerophane before and he had read a lot about air accidents, so one day when a friend offered to take him for a ride in his own small phane, Mr. Johnson was
英语幽默小故事10篇(带翻译) 线话英语|2016-03-14 17:03:05 英语幽默小故事10篇(带翻译)如下： Midway Tactics Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue. The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!" The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!"
The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE". 中间战术 三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺。旁观者等着瞧好戏。 右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌，上书：“大减价!”“特便宜!” 左边的商店挂出了更大的招牌，声称：“大砍价!”“大折扣!” 中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌，上面只简单地写着：“入口处”。 Very Pleased to Meet You During World War II, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army. Joan Phillips was one of them. She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers. One evening she met Captain Humphreys at a dance. He said to her, "I’m going abroad tomorrow, but I‘d be very happy if we could write to each other." Joan agreed, and they wrote for several months. Then his letters stopped, but she received one from another officer, telling her that he had been wounded and was in a certain army hospital in England. Joan went there and said to the matron, "I‘ve come to visit Captain Humphreys." "Only relatives are allowed to visit patients here," the matron said.
【翻译趣闻】 “地道中文”的搞笑英语翻译 1. 有他这颗扫帚星，什么事情都办不成。 [误] With a comet like him, nothing can be accomplished. [正] With a jinx like him, nothing can be accomplished. 注：“扫帚星”是中国人对“慧星”(comet)的俗称，因其后面拖着一条像扫帚一样的长尾巴而得名。在中国古代，“扫帚星”被认为是灾难的预兆，并被用来比喻不吉利的人或事；祸根：(person or thing that is thought to bring)bad luck(to sb/sth)；curse。英语的comet 虽然没有这层含义，但却有一个对应的说法，即jinx。 例：There's a jinx on/Someone's put a jinx on this car: it's always giving me trouble. (这辆汽车上有什么妨人的东西，总给我找麻烦。) 2.萝卜青菜，各有所爱。 [误] Some prefer radish but others prefer cabbage. [正] Tastes differ。 注：Tastes differ/vary是句英语谚语，除此以外，原句还可翻译成No dish suits all tastes 或You can never make everyone happy 等。此外，我们还可以这样说：One man's meat is another man's poison. 总之，应采取意译。 3.他一向嘴硬，从不认错。 [误] He has always got a hard mouth and never admit a fault. [正] He never says uncle. 注：say (cry) uncle: to give up or in; to surrender; to admit defeat. Mainly used by boys, as when fighting. 这句话主要是男孩们打架时的用语，当一方想制服另一方时，就用命令的口气说：“Say uncle!” 这时，有的孩子为了表示不服输，就是不说。后来，say uncle 就成了“服输”的代名词，而not say uncle 就相当于“嘴硬”了。 4.老师很喜欢这个嘴甜的小姑娘。 [误] The teacher likes this sweet-mouthed little girl very much. [正] The teacher likes this honey-lipped little girl very much. 注：中国人喜欢说“嘴甜”，但honey-lipped更符合英美人的语言习惯。 5.同学们都很讨厌他，因为他经常拍老师的马屁。 [误] The students all dislike him because he often pats the teacher's ass. [正] The students all dislike him because he often licks the teacher's boots. 注：以前在欧洲，臣民见到国王与王后往往要亲吻他们的靴子。后来，人们将lick the boots 引申为“为了某种目的而讨好某人”，它与汉语的“拍马屁”含义一样。在美国英语中，“拍马屁”还有另一种说法，即polish the apple，源于以前的学生用擦亮的苹果来讨好老师。
英语短篇幽默小故事 篇一：英语幽默小故事10篇. 英语幽默小故事10篇(带翻译)如下： Midway Tactics Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue. The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!"The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!" The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE".中间战术 三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺。旁观者等着瞧好戏。右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌，上书：“大减价!”“特便宜!” 左边的商店挂出了更大的招牌，声称：“大砍价!”“大折扣!” 中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌，上面只简单地写着：“入口处”。 Very Pleased to Meet You During World War II, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army. Joan Phillips was one of them. She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers.
儿童英语故事、小学生英语故事 寓言、成语故事（1-19页）幽默故事（19-25页）普通小故事（25-72页）通过阅读英语笑话、故事等趣味英语，可以激发小朋友们学英语的兴趣，提高单词量，帮助他们提高成绩。最好每天背一篇，会有不错的效果的 O(∩_∩)O 儿童寓言故事 Story 1 Three Good Friends One day, a monkey rides his bike near the river. This time he sees a li on under a tree. The lion runs at him. He is afraid and falls into the rive r. He can’t swim. He shouts. The rabbit hears him. He jumps into the river. The rabbit swims to the monkey, but he can’t help him. Luckil y, an elephant comes along. He is very strong. He helps the rabbit and monkey. Three friends are very happy. They go to the elephant’s ho me. Then, three of them become good friends. 故事一三个好朋友 一天，一只猴子在河边骑车。这时他看见树下有一只狮子，狮子向他跑来。他非常的害怕，掉进河里。他不会游泳，大叫起来。兔子听见了，跳进水里，但他却没有办法救猴子。幸运的是，一只大象过来了。大象非常强壮，救出了兔子和猴子。他们来到大象的家，在那里吃了一顿大餐。从此他们成了好朋友。 Story 2 A Good Boy Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with th
A Soldier's Brilliant Idea Mr. Robinson had to travel somewhere on business, and as he was in a hurry, he decided to go by air. He liked sitting beside a window when he was flying, so when he got on to the plane, he looked for a window seat. He found all of them had already had been taken except for one. There was a soldier sitting in the seat beside this one, and Mr. Robinson was surprised that he had not taken the one by the window; but, anyhow, he at once went towards it. When he reached it, however, he saw that there was a notice on it. It was written in ink and said, "This seat is preserved for proper load balance, thank you." Mr Robinson had never seen such an unusual notice in a plane before, but he thought that the plane must be carrying something particularly heavy in it, so he walked on and found another empty seat, not beside a window, to sit in. Two or three people tried to sit in the window seat beside the soldier, but they too read the notice and went on, when the plane was nearly full, a very beautiful girl hurried into the plane. The soldier, who was watching the passengers coming in, quickly took the notice off the seat beside himself and in this way succeededin having the company of the girl during the whole trip. 英语幽默：士兵坐飞机有美女陪伴的高招 由于生意方面的事，罗宾逊先生得出趟门。因为有点紧急，他决定坐飞机。乘机旅行时，他喜欢靠窗坐，故而一登机，他就寻找一个靠窗的座位。他发现只有一个靠窗的座位还空着。在那空座位边坐着一名士兵。令罗宾逊先生纳闷的是，这位士兵没有坐靠窗的位置。罗宾逊先生不管那些，他马上径直朝那个空座位走去。 然而，等到了那儿，他看见座位上有则启事，是用钢笔写的：“为保持装载平衡，特预设该位置，谢谢合作。”罗宾逊先生还从来没有在飞机上见过如此不同寻常的启事。不过，他想飞机上一定装了什么特别重的物品，于是他找了个不靠窗的位置。 又有两三个乘客试图坐在那个士兵旁的靠窗座位上，他们看到那则启事就走开了。当快满座时，一位非常美丽的姑娘匆匆走进机舱。一直在注意进舱旅客的那个士兵赶紧拿掉他旁边空座位上的启事。士兵用这种办法，成功地找到了一位姑娘一路作伴。
英语幽默故事 There was a guy who went into a shop to buy a parrot. There werethree parrots in the shop. One was $5,000; another one, $10,000; and the third one, $30,000. The customer asked the owner, “How come this guy is $5,000? That?s so expensive for this ki ndof parrot.” The owner said, “Because I have trained him and he can talk.” So the customer asked him, “How about this guy? What can he do that makes him so expensive?” The owner said, “Well, apart from talking, he can also do some amusing actions,like dan cing and so on. That?s why he?s so expensive.” Then the customer said, “How about the third one? What canhe do that makes him so expensive?” The owner of the shopsaid, “I don?t know. Normally, I have never heard him talk, nor dance, nor whistle, nor sing, nothing at all! But the other two call him …The Boss.?” 老板最大有个人到一间商店买鹦鹉。店里有三只鹦鹉，其中一只卖五千元，另一只卖一万元，还有一只卖三万元。顾客问老板：「为什么这只要卖五千元？这个价钱对这种鹦鹉来说太贵了！」老板说：「因为我有训练他讲话。」顾客又问：「那这只呢？他会做什么？为什么要卖这么贵？」老板说：「他除了会说话之外，还会表演一些有趣的动作，好比说跳舞等等，所以才卖这么贵。」顾客接着又问：「那第三只呢？他会做什么？为什么要卖这么贵？」老板说：「我不知道。我从没听过他讲话、吹口哨或唱歌，也没看过他跳舞，什么都没有！不过另外两只叫他：『老板！』」 Where is the egg? Teacher:Can you make a sentence with the word "egg"? Student:Yes.I ate a piece of cake yesterday. Teacher:Then where is the “egg"? Student:In the cake,Sir. 鸡蛋在哪里？ 老师：你能用“鸡蛋”一词造句吗？ 学生：可以。我昨天吃了一块蛋糕。 老师：“鸡蛋”在哪？ 学生：在蛋糕里，先生 Tom is a little boy, and he is only seven years old. Once he goes to a cinema. It is the
幽默趣味搞笑英语口语 趣味翻译 集团文件发布号：（9816-UATWW-MWUB-WUNN-INNUL-DQQTY-
幽默趣味搞笑英语口语大全 ●Behind every successful man, there is a woman. And behind ev ery unsuccessful man, there are two. 每个成功男人的背后, 都有一个女人. 每个不成功男人的背后, 都有两个。 ●Money is not everything. There's Mastercard & Visa. 钞票不是万能的，有时还需要信用卡。 ● One should love animals. They are so tasty. 每个人都应该热爱动物，因为它们很好吃。 ● Save water. Shower with your girlfriend. 要节约用水，尽量和女友一起洗澡。 ●Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life. 再快乐的单身汉迟早也会结婚，幸福不是永久的嘛。 ●The wise never marry, And when they marry they become otherwise. 聪明人都是未婚的，结婚的人很难再聪明起来。 ●Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives. 成功是一个相关名词，他会给你带来很多不相关的亲戚（联系）。 ●Love is photogenic. It needs darkness to develop. 爱情就象照片，需要大量的暗房时间来培养。
英语幽默小故事10篇
英语幽默小故事10篇 Midway Tactics Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue. The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!" The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!" The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE". 中间战术 三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺。旁观者等着瞧好戏。 右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌，上书：“大减 价!”“特便宜!” 左边的商店挂出了更大的招牌，声称：“大砍价!”“大折扣!”
中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌，上面只简单地写着：“入口处”。 Very Pleased to Meet You During World War II, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army. Joan Phillips was one of them. She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers. One evening she met Captain Humphreys at a dance. He said to her, "I‘m going abroad tomorrow, but I‘d be very happy if we could write to each other." Joan agreed, and they wrote for several months. Then his letters stopped, but she received one from another officer, telling her that he had been wounded and was in a certain army hospital in England. Joan went there and said to the matron, "I‘ve come to visit Captain Humphreys." "Only relatives are allowed to visit patients here," the matron said. "Oh, that‘s all right," answered Joan. "I‘m his sister." "I‘m very pleased to meet you," the matron said, "I‘m his mother!"
简单的英语幽默小故事 1 Mr. Jones had a few days’ holiday, so he said, “I’m going to go to the mountains by train.” He put on his best clothes, took a small bag, went to the station and got on the train. He had a beautiful hat, and he often put his head out of the window during the trip and looked at the mountains. But the wind pulled his hat off. Mr. Jones quickly took his old bag and threw that out of the window too. The other people in the carriage laughed. “Is your bag going to bring your beautiful hat back?” they asked. “No,” Mr. Jones answered, “but there’s no name and no address in my hat, and there’s a name and address on the bag. Someone’s going to find both of them near each other, and he’s going to send me the bag and the hat.” 2 An old lady went out shopping last Tuesday. She came to a bank and saw a car near the door. A man got out of it and went into the bank. She looked into the car. The keys were in the lock. The old lady took the keys and followed the man into the bank. The man took a gun out of his poc ket and said to the clerk, “Give me all the money.”
1 I Don?t Like Her Bob goes to a new school. One day he comes back, “Bob, do you like your new teacher?” his mother asks.“I don?t like her, Mother. Because first she says that three and three is six, and then she says that two and four is six, too.” 我不喜欢她 鲍勃的去了所新学校。 一天，他回到家，他妈妈问他：“你喜欢你的新老师吗？” “不，我不喜欢她，妈妈。因为她先说3加3等于6，然后她又说2加4等于6.” 2 Ten Candies Mother asks her son, “Jim, if you have ten candies, and you eat four, then how many candles do you have?” “Ten.” Jim says. “Ten？” Mother asks. Yes, Mum. Four candies are in my stomach and six candies are out of my stomach. Four and six is ten, isn?t it right?” 十块糖 妈妈问儿子：“吉姆，如果你有10块糖，吃了4块，那你还有几块糖？”“10块。”吉姆说。
“10块？”妈妈问。 “是的，妈妈。因为4块在我的肚子里面，6块在肚子外面，4加6等于10，不对吗？” 3 Where is the egg? Teacher: Can you make a sentence with the word "egg"? Student: Yes. I ate a piece of cake yesterday. Teacher: Then where is the “egg"? Student: In the cake, sir. 鸡蛋在哪里？ 老师：你能用“鸡蛋”一词造句吗？ 学生：可以。我昨天吃了一块蛋糕。 老师：“鸡蛋”在哪？ 学生：在蛋糕里，先生 4 Count Tomorrow Morning It?s a night. John is looking at the sky. Tom is John?s younger brother. He asks John “What are you doing?” John says, “I?m counting stars.” Tom laughs and says, “It?s really dark now. Why not count them tomorrow morning?” 明天早上数
A New Bike 英文： A New Bike I got a new bike. It is fast. I like it. Ho! Ho! I got a new car. It is faster than your bike. Your bike is too slow. Ha! Ha! I got a new motorcycle. It is faster than your car. Your car is too slow. Hee! Hee! Hee! I got a new airplane. It is faster than your motorcycle. Your motorcycle is too slow. I got a new rocket. It is faster than your airplane. Your airplane is too slow. My rocket is the fastest. The airplane is slower than the rocket. The motorcycle is slower than the airplane. The car is slower than the motorcycle.
And, my bike is slower than the car. My bike is the slowest. But, I don't care! I got a new yellow bike. And, I like it. 译文： 一辆新自行车 我有一辆新自行车。 它是快的。 我喜欢它。 嗬！嗬！我有一辆新汽车。 它比你的自行车快。 你的自行车太慢了。 哈！哈！我有一辆新摩托车。 它比你的汽车快。 你的汽车太慢了。 呵！呵！我有一架新飞机。 它比你的摩托车快。 你的摩托车太慢了。 我有一支火箭， 它比你的飞机快多了。 你的飞机太慢了。
英语幽默小笑话大全 1.a kiss At a dinner party, the speaker, who was the guest of honor, was about to deliver a speech when his wife sitting at the other end of the table, sent him a piece of paper with the word "KISS" scribbled on it. The guest seated next to the speaker said, "Your wife must love you very much, I see her send you a 'KISS' before you begin your speech." The speaker smiled and explained, "You don't know my wife. The 'KISS' she give me stands for 'Keep It Short, Stupid.'"
2.A teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up!" Little Johnny then stood up. The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Johnny?" "No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!" 一个老师在对学生们讲心理学，“谁认为自己蠢就站起来？”她一开始就说。 小约翰尼站了起来。
幽默用英语说范文 幽默、搞笑的中英文翻译大全 ~本人见过的最邪门的翻译 电影 《国产007》=《From Bei __g with Love》——从北京带着爱《唐伯虎点秋香》=《Flirting Scholar》——正在调情的学者 《鹿鼎记》（黄晓明版陈小春版梁朝伟版） =《Royal Tramp》——皇家流浪汉 《英雄本色》=《A Better Tomorrow》——明天会更好 《神雕侠侣》(内地版古天乐版刘德华版)=《Saviour of the Soul》——灵魂的救星 《三国演义》=《Romance of Three Kingdoms》——三个王国的罗曼史 《赤壁》＝《Red Cliff》——红岩
《霸王别姬》=《Farewell My Concubine》——再见了，我的小老婆《东邪西毒》=《Ashes of Time》——时间的灰烬（这个译名意味深长，无论你是东邪还是西毒，武功再高还不是最后都成了时间的灰烬？） 《甲方乙方》=《Dream Factory》——梦工厂 《烈火金刚》=《Steel Meets Fire》——钢遇上了火 《刘三姐》=《Third Sister Liu》——第三个姐姐刘 《花样年华》=《In the Mood for Love》——在爱的情绪中 五讲、四美、三热爱 大学校园里，流行"五讲、四美、三热爱"，中国人把其翻译成："five talks ,four beauty ,three lovers".美国人一听迷惑了"five talks"敢情是谈了五个，"four beauty"敢情是谈了五个，其中有四个是美人，那么"three lovers"一定是爱上了四个美人中的三个（笑声不断）。