"I Forgive You"
1RT Marriage isn't the only relationship that needs forgiveness. It's
required with our children, friends, workmates, neighbours and even
strangers. In fact, no human relationship can survive without the
oxygen of forgiveness. It's not the kind of quality that only
good-tempered people choose to have; it's a universal necessity for
relationships and for your own physical and mental health.
“我原谅你”
并非只有婚姻关系才需要宽恕。我们与子女、朋友、同事、邻居，甚至陌生人相处时同样需要宽恕。事实上，没有宽恕的氧气，任何人际关系都无从维系。宽恕并不是脾气好的人们才拥有的特质；它是所有关系的必要条件，也是自己的身心健康不可缺少的。close
2RT Some of us may think that we've been hurt too deeply, or too
often, to forgive. But ironically, it's those of us who've been most hurt that really need to forgive, for one simple reason: like cancer,
bitterness can destroy its host. Unless it's swiftly rooted out, it takes
hold and grows, crippling and eventually even killing those who insist
on clinging determinedly to it.
有些人可能认为，自己受伤太深、次数太多，无法宽恕。可耐人寻味的是，恰恰是被伤得最深的人，才真正需要宽恕别人，原因很简单：仇恨就像癌症，会毁掉宿主。如果不尽快铲除，它就会生根发芽，使那些执意仇恨无法释怀的人受伤甚至死亡。close
3RT For the truth is that unless we can forgive, we can never recover.
Our wounds will continue to grow worse and never heal. As the ancient Chinese proverb puts it, "Whoever seeks revenge should dig two
graves."
因为事实是，除非我们能宽恕他人，否则就永远无法恢复。伤口会继续溃烂，永不愈合。中国有句古谚：“复仇者必自绝”。close
4RT For some people forgiveness seems impossible because they have no idea how to go about it. The first and most important thing you need
to accept is that the act of forgiveness is not going to be easy. In fact, it will probably be the hardest thing most of us ever have to do.
对有些人来说，宽恕他人似乎是不可能的，因为他们根本不知从何做起。首先你要接受一个非常重要的事实：宽恕他人并不是件容易的事。事实上，对于我们大多数人来说，这也许是最难做到的。close
5RT It seems totally unfair that we should forgive when we're the ones who have been hurt. And that's the core of forgiveness.
被伤害的是我们，却还要宽恕他人，这似乎毫无公平可言，然而这正是宽恕的关键所在。close
6RT The saying "Forgive and forget" may roll off the tongue, but it's as
shallow as it is short.For one thing, it's totally impossible. For another, it misses the whole point of forgiveness. The things we most need to
forgive in life are the things we can't forget. Rather than sweeping
them under the carpet, we need to draw a line under them, deliberately
choosing not to count them against the person who did them, and
moving on.
“宽恕并忘记”，这句俗话谁都会脱口而出，但实际上既简单又肤浅。一则这是绝对不可能的，二则它完全偏离了宽恕的真正含义。生活中最需要宽恕的事正是那些无法忘记的事。我们不应把这些事掩饰起来，而需记住它们，并有意不因此对做过这些事的人怀有成见，然后继续生活。close
7RT That's why, sometimes, the initial act of forgiveness may seem
relatively easy, but dealing with the emotions that follow every time
you see that person, or speak to or just think about him or her, can be
harder. True forgiveness is not a one-off act; it's a constant emotional confrontation.
这就是为什么有的时候会感到：宽恕别人，一开始会相对容易些，难的是每次你看到那个人，与他谈话，甚至只是想起他之后如何控制自己的感情。真正的宽恕不是一劳永逸之举，而是持久的情感面对。close 8RT And the longer you wait to forgive someone, the harder it
becomes. Time really doesn't heal; it just gives the bitterness and
resentment longer to eat away at you from inside. If you wait for the
"right time", you may never do it.
等待越久，宽恕就越难。实际上，时间不会愈合伤口，只会让愤懑和仇恨更长时间地吞噬你的内心。如果要等待“适当的时候”，你也许永远都找不到机会。close
9RT A question you should ask yourself before you begin to tackle the art of forgiveness is this: How many of us are ever completely innocent
in any given situation?
开始运用宽恕的艺术之前，你先要问自己这样一个问题：我们中有多少人在特定的场合下是完全无辜的呢？close
10RT Some years ago, my wife and I bought a piece of cheap
furniture. For the first few months, it fooled everyone — it was smart, functional and impressive, and we felt it fitted our home perfectly. But as time rolled by, the thin covering slowly began to peel at the edges.
It didn't create the same impression any more, but at least it was being
honest!The fact is that, like it or not, behind our smart covering, we're
all just chipboard. So before we become other people's judge and jury,
