MOVIE SCRIPT - The Big Bang Theory s02e11

No, see, the liquid-metal terminators were created in the future by Skynet... ...and Skynet was developedby Miles Dyson......but that future no longer existsdue to Dyson's death in Terminator . Okay, then riddle me this.Assuming all the good terminators... ...were originally evil terminatorscreated by Skynet......then reprogrammed by the futureJohn Connor, why would Skynet......an artificial computer intelligence... ...bother to createa petite, hot, -year-old killer robot?. Skynet is kinky?. I don't know.Artificial intelligencesdo not have teen fetishes.-All right, wait. They use it to lure---Eh! Too late, I win.[PENNY SlNGlNG "OUT TONlGHT"]What the hell is that?.I don't know. But if cats could sing... ...they'd hate it too.[PENNY CONTlNUES SlNGlNG]Hey, guys.-Hi, where are you going?.-What?.We just had to mail some letters.And throw away some chicken.You'll never guess what just happened.-I give up.-I don't guess.As a scientist, I reach conclusionsbased on observation and experimentation. Although it occurs to me, you mayhave been employing a rhetorical device... ...rendering my response moot.-What was that?.-Believe it or not, personal growth.What happened?.Remember when I auditioned for Rent but I didn't get it and I couldn't figure out why?.I have a conclusion based on an observation.No, you don't.No, he doesn't.The girl picked to play Mimi, she dropped out and they asked me to replace her.-Oh! Congratulations, what a lucky break. -It's not a big a deal.Just one night,but they invite casting people and agents. So you never know.-I think I know.-No, you don't.-He doesn't.-It's this Friday at , you guys wanna come?. -No.-No.Because Friday,we are attending a symposium......on molecular positronium.-I think that's a week from Tuesday at .-No, it's this Friday.-At .-Oh, too bad.-I gotta get to rehearsal. See you guys.-See you.[PENNY SlNGlNG]-You just lied to Penny.-Yes, I did.And you did it so casually.No rapid breathing,no increase in perspiration.-So?.-So lack of a physiological response... ...while lyingis characteristic of a violent sociopath. Sheldon, are you worriedabout your safety?.No. I imagine if you were going to kill me, you'd have done it a long time ago.That's very true.Leonard?.Leonard?.-Leonard?.LEONARD: What?.I need to speak to you.-It's : in the morning.-It's important.I highly doubt that.Go away.Are you still out there?.Yes.What?.You're right, it can wait until morning. LEONARD: What, what, what?.-Never mind.I clearly woke you upin the middle of a REM cycle.-You're in no state of mind to talk.-Sheldon, what is it?.I'm uncomfortablehaving been included in your lie to Penny. -What was I supposed to say?.-You could have told her the truth.That would have hurt her feelings.Is that a relevant factor?.Yes.Then I supposeyou could have agreed to go.And what would I have said afterwards?.I would suggest somethingto the effect of:"Singing is neither an appropriate vocation nor avocation for you......and if you disagree, I recommenda CAT scan to look for a tumor......pressing on the cognitiveprocessing centers of your brain."I couldn't say that.I would have to say, "You were terrific and I can't wait to hear you sing again." Why?.It's the social protocol.It's what you do......when you have a friend who's proudof something they really suck at.I was not aware of that.-Well, now you are.-Oh, all right. -Leonard?.-Yes?.When we played chess earlier, you were terrific, and I can't wait to play you again. Good night.[KNOCKlNG ON DOOR] SHELDON:Leonard?. Leonard?.Leonard?. Leonard?.This would be so much easierif I were a violent sociopath. Leonard?. Leonard?.-What?.-I was analyzing our lie......and I believe we're in dangerof Penny seeing through the ruse.-How?.-Simple.If she were to log on to www. /activities/other... ...click on upcoming events, scroll to seminars, download the PDF schedule... ...and look for the seminaron molecular positronium, then... ...bippity boppity boo,our pants are metaphorically on fire. Well, sir, my trouserswill not be igniting today.Penny?.Penny?.Penny?.Good morning.-Do you have any idea what time it is?. -Of course I do.My watch is linked to the atomic clockin Boulder, Colorado.It's accurate to one-tenth of a second. As I'm saying thisit occurs to me once again......your question mayhave been rhetorical.What do you want?.Remember how Leonard told youwe couldn't come......because we were attending a symposium on molecular positronium?.I remember symposium.Yes, well, he lied.Wait, what?.He lied, and I'm feelingvery uncomfortable about it.Well, imagine how I'm feeling. Hungry?.Tired?.I'm sorry, this really isn't my strong suit. You told her I lied?.Why would you tell her I lied?.To help you.I'm sorry, I'm not seeing the help.She was going to seethrough your lie eventually......so I told her that you were lyingto protect me.[LEONARD GROANS]Oh, I'm getting a bad feeling. Hunger?.Indigestion?.I'm sorry,I'm really not very good at this. Anyway, Penny now believesthat on Friday night......we're going to participatein my cousin Leopold's drug intervention. Your cousin Leopold.Whom most people call Leo,but he also answers to Lee.Remember that, it's important.-What's important?.-Details, Leonard.The success or failureof our deceitful enterprise turns on details. -Do you have a cousin Leopold?.-No, I made him up.I think you'd call him Lee.I don't get it. I already told her a lie,why replace it with a different lie?. Well, first of all,your lie was laughably transparent... ...where mine is exquisitely convoluted. While you were sleeping,I was weaving an un-unravelable web.-Un-unravelable?.-Yes.If she Googles Leopold Houston,she'll find a Facebook page......an online blogdepicting his descent into drug use... ...and a desperateyet hopeful listing on . Okay, why would I goto a drug intervention for your cousin?.Ah! Because it's in Long Beachand I don't drive.We're going to Long Beach?.Of course not, there's no cousin Leo,there's no intervention.-Focus, Leonard.-Oh, come on.We just leave the house on Friday night and return in the wee hours......emotionally wrung out from the workof convincing Leo to go back into rehab.So he goes back into rehab?.Yes, but he can relapse if Pennyever invites us to hear her sing again.You still told her I lied.Yeah, for a noble purpose.To spare me the social embarrassmentof having a drug-addled first cousin.-Which I'm assuming is embarrassing, yes?. -I don't know.-How am I supposed to remember all this?. -That's the best part, you don't have to.I told Penny that you would be embarrassed if you knew she found out you had lied... ...so she's agreed to operateas if the original lie is still in force.So she's expecting me to lieabout going to a symposium in Pasadena... ...when in actuality, we're pretending to go to a drug intervention in Long Beach.Un-unravelable.Oh, hey, Penny. Wow, look at you,all ready for your showcase.-You look great.PENNY: Thanks.I just wanted to come by and wish you guys luck with your symposium. LEONARD:Oh.-Well, thank you.-You know, I gotta tell you.A lot of friends would let their friendgo alone, but that's not you.You are the kind of guywho stands by a friend when....When he has a symposium to go to.I don't know what to say.-It's okay, Leonard.-Oh, okay, all right, good.-Oh, boy, group hug.-Uh-uh.-Uh-uh?.-Okay. So, what's up?.Well, Penny is on her way to perform ina one-night showcase production of Rent... ...which we are unable to attend, because we're going to a symposium... ...on molecular positroniumgiven by Dr. Emil Farmanfarmian.Wait a minute, Farmanfarmian is speaking and you're bogarting the symposium?.-Howard, I'm sorry, we would've---No, no, you're quark-blocking us.I don't know what to say.Wow.-Howard---It's your Millennium Falcon......you and Chewbacca dowhatever you wanna do.Me and Princess Leia here will findsome other way to spend the evening. Howard, wait.Sheldon, I think we should tell them. Okay, sure.I don't see a problem with that. There's no symposium.Leonard lied to me.Isn't that right, Leonard?.Well....-I don't know what to say.-It's okay, I do.Look, Leonard is helping Sheldon through a family crisis.He made up the whole story aboutthe symposium with Dr. Farmanfarmian-- -Good for you.-Ha! Yeah.He didn't want Sheldon to be embarrassed. There's nothing to be embarrassed about. Every family in America has a relative... ...holed up in a garage somewhere huffing paint thinner.No, I'm lost too.I think she skipped a step.Now, look, Sheldon's cousin Leo escaped rehab and he's in a Motel in Long Beach. The whole family's going outfor an intervention.Leonard is driving Sheldon downto help him through this...-...because he's such a good man.-Oh, another hug?. Thank you.-All right, you guys. Good luck.-Thanks, Penny.-Break a leg.-Yeah, break a leg.So road trip to Long Beach.-We're not going to Long Beach.-Why not?.Because Sheldon doesn't havea drug-addicted cousin Leopold.Oh, too bad.I've always wanted to go to Long Beach.It's a very nice community.The Queen Mary is docked there.Once the largest liner in the world,it's now a hotel and restaurant......where they host a surprisingly gripping murder-mystery dinner.-Sounds fun.-I'm game.-Shotgun.-No, no, no.Leonard gets nauseous unlesshe sits in front, and even then it's iffy. Wait, are we really going to Long Beach?. [KNOCKlNG ON DOOR] SHELDON:Leonard?. Leonard?. Leonard?.Let it go, Sheldon.The murderer was the first mate whether it makes sense to you or not. No, that's the least of our worries.I've been doing research on addiction... ...both the biochemicaland behavioral aspects......and I think there's a problemwith the current version of our lie. What are you talking about?.It's fine, she bought it, it's over. Sadly, it's not.Substance abuse is a lifelong struggle. But beyond that,I have realized the Leo I described... -...would not have agreed to go to rehab. -Why not?.Because Leo's a middle child.There's no Leo. How can you say that?. You didn't read the bio, did you?.He's not just a middle child,he is the quintessential middle child. From a broken home, to boot. Psychologically speaking......the attention he gets by rebelling, even to the point of destruction... ...is more emotionally valuablethan help he would get at rehab.-I've got a solution.-Great. What is it?.Get out.Fine.I've hesitated to point this out......but I must remind you we are in our predicament......because of your initialand inadequate deceit.I'm just trying to clean upafter your mess.SHELDON:We'll talk in the morning.Morning.Who are you?.I am Sheldon's cousin Leo.Oh, God.Sheldon does not have a cousin Leo.Au contraire.I'm years old......I'm originally from "Denton, Texas,"but I was a Navy brat.I was brought up on a varietyof military bases around the world.As a result, I've often felt like an outsider, never really fitting in......probably the reasonfor my substance-abuse problem. Excuse me, we just went over this.As the middle child, your addictionis rooted in your unmet need for attention. Oh, Sheldon, are we really gonna gowith pop psychology?.For your information,this is all based on solid research.Just stick with the character profileI wrote for you.-Sheldon?.-I'm sorry.Leonard, this is Toby Loobenfeld.He's a research assistantin the particle-physics lab......but he also minored in theater at MlT.It was more of a double major, actually. Theater and Physics.You can guess which onemy bourgeois parents pushed me towards. Yeah, I got it.Sheldon, why?.You see, while Leo would nothave gone into rehab......it is completely plausible that we would have talked him into leaving the motel... -...and coming home with us.-Oh....Sheldon, how about thisas my motivation?.When I was years old......I was abused in the Philippinesby a clubfooted Navy chaplain.No, we're going with middle childand a genetic predisposition......to inadequate serotonin production. Swell, well, how do I playgenetic predisposition?. Subtextually, of course.[KNOCKlNG ON DOOR]Just have fun with it.-Morning, Penny.-Hi. How did the intervention go?. Unfortunately, we weren't ableto convince him to go to rehab.Well, based on what you told me,I'm not surprised.But we did convince himto leave the motel.Come say hello.Leo, this is Penny,our friend and neighbor.Hi, Leo, how are you feeling?.Let me ask you something, Penny.Have you ever woken up in a fleabag motel covered in your own vomit......next to a transsexual prostitute?.-No.-Then don't ask me how I'm feeling. Well, that's Leo.Hey, why don't you tell meabout your showcase last night?.Oh, it was okay, I guess.Wasn't a big turnout,but they both seemed to like it.-There were only two people there?.-By the end, yeah. Damn you, Chaplain Horrigan.I'm sorry?.The Philippines..The Subic Bay Naval Station.A young boy on the cusp of manhood. His only companions,mongrel dogs and malarial mosquitoes. Desperate and alone,he reached out to a man......who promised to introduce himto a merciful, loving God......but who instead introduced himto a gin-pickled tongue......shoved down his adolescent throat. What choice did he have......but to drink, shootand snort his pain away?.Don't forget genetic predisposition towards addiction.Never been proven.-There have been studies.-Not double-blind studies.How could there be?.Who would be the control group?.As you can see,detoxing can get pretty ugly.-Let's give them some privacy.-Yeah.Do you wanna come over,have coffee?.-Sounds good.-I have a video of me singing last night. Do you wanna see it?.-Gee, why wouldn't l?.-This is even better......than you coming to the showcase, now I get to watch you watch me. Yeah.Funny how things work out.But he loved the companionshipand the wisdom......that his own father failed to provide. Your parents made the right decision.I cannot work like this.[MAN SPEAKlNG lNDlSTlNCTLYON TV]This is amazing, just sitting on a couch watching TV with a woman.Not being drunk or highor wondering if you're a dude down there. Leo, you are a very sweet,really funny guy.You're gonna do okay.One day at a time, Penny.One day at a time.How long is he going to stay here?.He's a homeless drug addict, Leonard, where is he going to go?.Boy, you have a lot to learn about lying. [ENGLlSH SDH]。

好了RajOkay,Raj.给我6号内六角螺丝起子Hand me the #6 Torx screwdriver.停Stop.我们不能这样做这是不对的We can't do this. It's not right.Sheldon 你有两种选择Sheldon,you have two choices.要么你让他给TiV o换个大点的硬盘ther you let him put a bigger hard drive in the TiV o,要么在我们离城前删点东西or you delete stuff before we go out of town.但是打开机器就享受不了质保了But once you open the box,you've voided the warranty.质保协议是我们和厂家签订的重要协议The warranty is a sacred covenant we've entered into with the manufacturer. 厂家对他们产品提供质保而我们He offers to stand by his equipment,and we in return要做到不人为破坏内部硬件agree not to violate the integrity of the internal hardware.我们和烂摊子之间可就这小黄贴纸之隔啊This little orange sticker is all that stands between us and anarchy.好吧我们不动硬盘Okay,then we won't touch the hard drive.把第一季太空堡垒卡拉狄加删了就行We'll just erase the first season of Battlestar.没质保了There. We're outlaws.Leonard 给你这够用吧?Here you go,Leonard. Is this going to be big enough?棒极了It's perfect.给你独角兽装水仙花用?For taking daffodils to your unicorn.放我的笔记本谢了PennyIt's just for my notebooks. Thanks,Penny.我超喜欢旧金山要能一起去就好了I love San Francisco. I wish I was going with you.你当然会羡慕了这场研讨会可是百年一遇I understand your envy. Thiss a can't-miss symposium.会讨论生物有机细胞计算机设备There are going to be discussions on bioorganic cellular computer devices,多线程任务完成方面的进展the advancements in multi-threaded task completion,还有一个非平衡性格林函数在plus a roundtable on the nonequilibrium Green's function approach原子光电离进程中运用的圆桌会议to the photoionization process in atoms.我去那通常是大醉一场还有坐坐缆车When I go,I usually just get hammered and ride the cable cars.这次会议真是非比寻常This conference is kind of a big thing.主讲人可是George SmootThe keynote address is being delivered by George Smoot.哦上帝那George Smoot?Oh,my God,the George Smoot?- 你听过? - 当然没有- You've heard of him? - Of course I haven't.George Smoot是物理学诺贝尔奖获得者是当今著名的学者George Smoot is a Nobel Prize-winning physicist,one of the great minds of our time.他对于宇宙微波背景辐射的黑体和各向异性研究His work in black body form and anisotropy of the cosmic microwave background radiation 巩固了我们对宇宙起源的了解cemented our understanding of the origin of the universe.名字念起来倒挺有趣SmootIt's kind of a funny name,though-- "Smoot."简直是跟大猩猩说话It's like talking to a chimp.得伤自尊了你们飞行愉快吧Okay,now that I've been completely insulted,have a good flight.我倒是想飞Yeah,I wish.但我们不坐飞机我们搭火车We're not flying. We're taking the train.哦酷Oh,cool.是很酷不仅时间是乘飞机的7倍连车票都贵上一倍呢Yeah,cool. Seven times as long as flying,and costs almost twice as much.那么你们干嘛还坐火车?Well,then why are you doing it?我们投票来着3票坐飞机Well,we had a vote. Three of us voted for airplane.Sheldon投坐火车所以我们坐火车Sheldon voted for train. So we're taking the trn.别用这腔调说LeonardDon't say it like that,Leonard.应该是我们坐火车~~!Say it like: We're taking the train!我们要去苹果专卖店作弄那些天才吧的家伙Hey,we're all going over to the Apple store to make fun of the guys at the Genius Bar. 你来吗?You want to come?我是很想去啦不过现在有点忙Oh,I always enjoy that,but I'm a little busy.你忙啥呢?What are you doing?我在为旅行打包做简化工作I'm simplifying the task of packing for our trip.给衣服贴上电子标签这样用上这个扫描器就可以See,by attaching RFID tags to my clothing,it will able my laptop让电脑来识别物品了to read and identify the items with this wand.然后我再根据目的地预计活动频谱I will then cross-reference them against destination,anticipated activity spectrum,天气状况旅行时间等信息来相互对照weather conditions,duration of trip,et cetera.呃听起来是挺简化的Well,that does sound much simpler.那你要弄多久?How long is this going to take?照我现在的速度大约3小时11分钟Assuming I can keep up this pace,three hours,11 minutes,再加上不知道多久才能结束这毫无意义的对话and plus however long tak to conclude this fairly pointless conversation.看来作弄苹果店里的人都多余Teasing the guys at the Apple store seems a little redundant now.- 我没明白- 也没指望你明白待会见- I don't follow. - I wouldn't expect you to. I'll see you later.袜子一双棉质菱形花纹蓝色Socks:one pair,cotton,argyle,blue.袜子一双棉质菱形花纹蓝色Socks: one pair,cotton,argyle,blue.你这是要干嘛?What on earth are you doing?不管我做了什么我猜我是做错了Whatever it is,I'm guessing we're doing it wrong.先生们这可是海岸星光列车Gentlemen,this is the Coast Starlight,美国经典路线上的最好列车之一one of the great American trains operating on one of the classic American routes.坐这边可以享受乘坐其他交通工具所无法体会的全景式海岸风光On this side,you'll see panoramic ocean vistas inaccessible to any other form of transportation, 坐这边呢看到的是350英里的好市多while on your side,you'll be treated to 350 miles of CostCos,捷飞络连锁店还有带泳池水泥民居Jiffy Lubes,and cinderblock homes with above-ground pools.这儿RajCome on,Raj.捷飞络有啥不好的?What's wrong with Jiffy Lubes?不No.- 又怎么啦? - 这座位正好在轴距上- Why not? - That's over the wheelbase.你难道一点不清楚80年代前所造豪华乘坐席Are you completely unfamiliar with the suspension characteristics悬挂系统的特性吗?of a pre-1980 Pullman-built Superliner Deluxe passenger coach?Sheldon 才上车90秒Sheldon,we've been on this train 90 seconds,你已经叽歪了上千句了and you've already said a thousand words.你直接说坐哪然后闭嘴Just tell us where to sit and shut up.这儿Here.我希望你在享受车轮和铁轨发出的美妙喀嚓声时I'm hoping once you reap the endorphic rewards of the steady clickety-clack of steel wheels onpolished rails,你的抱怨会少一点your sour disposition will abate.可能Yeah,maybe.同时21世纪的人在准备收起折叠桌Meanwhil back in the 21st century,people are raising their tray tables将座椅调整到竖直状态因为飞机要着陆到旧金山了and putting their seat-backs in an upright position 'cause it's time to land in San Francisco.其实也没那么糟啦It's not so bad,really.至少这火车有现代化的卫生间At least these trains have modern plumbing.在印度你得光着屁屁蹲在车厢里的一个洞上In India,you squat over a hole in the train and expose your naked buttocks感受拉贾斯坦邦的冷空气to the chilly air of Rajasthan.他说的当然是印度华丽的Ranakpur特快三等席He is referring,of course,to third class on Indian Railways' magnificent Ranakpur Express 从马哈拉施特拉邦到比卡内尔接轨点的1200公里旅途and its 1,200-kilometer journey from Maharashtra to the Bikaner Junction.哦现在他又开始罗嗦国际单位了Oh,look,now he's boring on an international scale.哦我的天! 看哪!Holy crap! Look!不会真是她吧?Is that who I think it is?不能够啊Summer Glau干嘛坐火车It can't be. What would Summer Glau be doing riding the train?可能John Connor也在车上她要保护他不被坏终结者追杀Maybe John Connor's aboard and she's protecting him from an evil Terminator.不太可能那只是电视剧啦LeonardUnlikely. That's a television show,Leonard.多谢提醒Thank you.当然啦如果"天网"真的存在于未来世界Of course,if SkyNet actually did exist in the future,那么完美潜入毁灭人类的方法就是让派来的终结者a perfect way to infiltrate and destroy mankind would be to send Terminators back posing 扮成曾在热门电影剧集中饰演过终结者的演员as actors who have played Terminators in popular films and television series,让我们产生安全错觉就像是lulling us into a false sense of security,i.e.,"她是里的Summer Glau""That's Summer Glau "from The Sarah Connor Chronicles.- 不要Summer 别杀我! - "我是机器人!啊!"No,Summer,don't kill me!" I'm pro-robot! Ahh!"至少他不再纠结那些火车的废话了At least he's off the train crap.嘻嘻!Whee!Sheldon 我得向你道歉Sheldon,I owe you an apology.乘火车绝对是次天才的举动!Taking the train was a stroke of brilliance!终于有机会接触终结者了I've actually got a shot at a Terminator.拜托谈到终结者Oh,please.When it comes to Terminators,我看你还是和施瓦辛格机会比较大you've got a better shot of scoring with Arnold Schwarzenegger.你忽略了件事You're overlooking something.我将和她在这个狭窄的空间里待上11个小时I have 11 hours with her in a confined space.除非她愿意跳下行驶的火车翻转着滚下那边的山坡Unless she's willing to jump off a moving train,tuck and roll down the side of a hill,她最终将屈服于逐渐产生好感的对象那就是我Howard Wolowitzshe will eventually succumb to the acquired taste that is ward Wolowitz.我压她滚下山My money's on tuck and roll.我搞不懂了I'm confused.我以为你和Leslie Winkle在社交上保持着某种亲密关系I thought you were involved in some sort of socially intimate pairing with Leslie Winkle. - Sheldon 我来给你解释下- 好吧- Sheldon,let me explain to you how this works. - All right.- 那是Summer Glau耶! - 是啊- That's Summer Glau. - Yes.就这理由That's it.等等凭什么是你第一个去追她?Hang on a sec. Why do you get first crack at her?呃我想想几个理由第一我先看到她的Um,well,let's see,couple reasons. One,I saw her first.不不是你是我No,you didn't. I did.那好吧但是...我们说第二个理由吧Fair enough. But... then,let me move on to #2.和你不同我能镇静地同一位女性交谈Unlike you,I can actually talk to women when I'm sober.你没有考虑到即使不说话我来自国外有异国情调You fail to take into account that even mute,I am foreign and exotic,相反而你呢虚弱而苍白while you,on the other hand,are frail and pasty.你知道有句老话吗"虚弱苍白者从不失手"Well,you know the old saying,Pasty and frail never fail.打断一下那还有我呢?Excuse me,but what about me?咋没我的事了?Why don't I get a shot?好吧那你去啊去碰碰运气Fine,go ahead. Take a shot.家里已经有个搞不定的漂亮金发妞儿了You know,I've already got a gorgeous blonde back home at I can't score with. 这一个还是留给你们俩吧I think I'll let you two take this one.Sheldon 这火车上有地方卖酒吗?Sheldon,is there a place on this train to get alcohol?你问起来我就讲讲Interesting that you ask.海岸星光列车最近加入了重新装修的"太平洋特等客车"The Coast Starlight recently added the refurbished Pacific Parlour Car.建于1956年即著名的原"圣达菲休闲客车"Built in 1956 and originally known as the Santa Fe Lounge Car,- 下层是一个小剧院上层是... - 好的好的怎么走?- the lower level is a theater and the upper level - Yeah-yeah,which way?一个提供葡萄酒品尝的酒吧快去吧is a bar that offers wine tastings if you're going as far as Portland.你不去找她搭讪?So aren't you going to go talk to her?我去只是先酝酿下我的开场白I will,I'm just working on my opening line.她也许听腻了各种开场白HowardShe's probably heard every possible line,Howard.你干嘛不直接说"你好"?Why don't you just try "hello"?不不行那句通常会把姑娘们吓跑No,no,no,that always creeps girls out.我得想出一句既风趣聪明又能微妙地暗示出I need to come up with something that's funny,smart and delicately suggests 我的做爱本领和我的身材不成正比that my sexual endowment is disproportionate to my physical stature.那11小时看来不够了You're going to need more than 11 hours.噢不Oh,no.怎么回事?What's the matter?我忘了带我的闪存卡I forgot my flash drive.- 那又怎样? - 那我们就得回去- So? - So we have to go back.好吧Sheldon 我接下来要问你为什么你不能回答因为忘了带闪存卡Okay,Sheldon,I'm going to say "why" and your answer cannot be because I forgot my flash drive. 你不明白You don't understand.我的闪存里存着我关于早期宇宙中天体探测M理论效应的论文My flash drive has my paper on astrophysical probes of M-theory effects in the early universe我打算在研讨会上给George Smoot看的that I was going to give to George Smoot at the conference.你干嘛要把你的论文给George Smoot?Why do you have to give your paper to George Smoot?太有才了他应该阅读才对It's brilliant. He needs to read it.那等我们回去你给他发封邮件就行了So you'll send him an e-mail when we get back.那我就看不到他读到我论文时神采奕奕的样子了Then I won't get to see his face light up as he reads it.对当然Right. Of course.哦这绝对是场灾难Oh,this is an unmitigated disaster.你也没办法啊放松点吧Well,there's nothing you can do about it,so relax.坐好享受火车钢轮在磨光的铁轨上擦出的咔嗒咔嗒之声Sit back,enjoy the clickety-clack of the steel wheels on the polished rails.你忘了带你的闪存You forgot your flash drive你忘了带你的闪存...You forgot your flash drive再熬10小时55分钟就好了Only ten hours,55 minutes to go.这儿真热一定是夏天了(Summer Glau的名有"夏天"之意)It's hot in here. Must be Summer.这个...姑娘们上哪儿去?So... where you gals headed?好了我找到了完美的解决方案Okay,I've found the perfect solution.我们在下一站Oxnard站下车We get off the train at the next stop in Oxnard.然后乘1:13的火车到联合车站(洛杉矶)We then take the 1:13 train back to Union Station.搭计程车回公寓拿上我的闪存卡再迅速赶到San Luis ObispoWe take a cab back to the apartment,get my flash drive,and then race to San Luis Obispo,如果天还没黑没什么堵车的话我们就能在那儿赶上火车where,assuming the lights are with us and minimal traffic,we'll meet the train.我有个更好的主意I've got a better idea.你是想讽刺我吗?Are you going to be sarcastic?孩子你把我仅有的一点乐趣都剥夺了Boy,you take all the fun out of it for me.听着Penny在家我们何不打给她让她去我们公寓Look,Penny's home. Why don't we just call her,have her go in the apartment,拿你的闪存卡然后把论文发邮件给我们呢get your flash drive and e-mail you the paper?- 可闪存卡在我锁着的抽屉里啊- 那又怎样?- But the flash drive is in a locked drawer in my desk. - So?- 钥匙藏在我的房间里啊- 那又怎样?- The key is hidden in my room. - So?- Penny得进我的房间啊- 那又怎样?- Penny would have to go into my room. - So?任何人不允许进我的房间啊!People don't go in my room!明白了看来你又一次进退两难了I see. Well,it seems once again,you're caught between a rock and a crazy place.哦我真讨厌这种情况Oh,I te when that happens.这儿真热一定是夏天了It's hot in here. It must be Summer.这儿真热一定是夏天了It's hot in here. Must be Summer.这儿真热一定是夏天了It's hot in here. Must be Summer.这儿真热一定是夏天了It's hot in here. Must be Summer.- 真有趣- 是吗? 我刚刚自己编的- That's cute. - Really? I just made it up.你看过吗?Have you seen Slumdog Millionaire?看过啊我爱死这部电影了Oh,yeah,I loved it.大体上是根据我的经历改编的It's loosely based on my life.是啊我们的剧要在99座的小剧院上演一晚你能来吗?Yeah,we're putting the play on for one night in this little 99-seat theater. Can you come? 噢好极了Oh,great.知道哪98个人也愿意来吗?Do you know 98 other people that might want to come?哦等一下Oh,hang on.- 喂? - 仔细听好- Hello? - Listen carefully.我要告诉你一系列指示你必须严格按照指示做I'm about to give you a set of instructions,which you must follow to the letter. 等一下Just a sec.剧院在一个保龄球球道上面所以有点嘈杂The theater is above a bowling alley,so it's a little noisy,但这可能是我饰演安妮·弗兰克的唯一机会了but it might be the only chance I'll ever get to play Anne Frank.而且导演太有才了And the director is brilliant.他利用楼下保龄球的声音作纳粹炮火声的音效He uses the bowling sounds as,like,Nazi artillery.好吧太好啦那到时见咯喂?Okay,great,I'll see you then. Hello?好第四步Okay,step four.你看见我梳妆台上的小塑料盒了吗?Do you see that small plastic case on my dresser?你的梳妆台?你是谁啊?Your dresser? Who is this?SheldonIt's Sheldon.嗨Sheldon? 旧金山怎么样?Oh,hey,Sheldon! How is San Francisco?我不在旧金山我在火车上呢你刚才没有在听吗?I'm not in San Francisco. I'm on a train. Were you even listening to me?没有我在和朋友聊天你有什么事?Uh,no,I was talking to my friend,but what's up?什么事? 我来告诉你怎么回事What's up? I'll tell you what's up.我陷入危急情况我需要你集中精力I'm in a crisis situation,and I need you to marshal your powers of concentration, - 集中到... - 把手机给我- limited as they may be... - Give me the phone.嗨Penny 我是LeonardHi,Penny. It's Leonard.嘿Leonard 怪里怪气博士怎么了?Hey,Leonard. What's going on with Dr. Wkadood?他打电话请你帮忙He's calling to ask you a favor.估计你没搞明白因为他没说"Penny" "Sheldon" "请" "帮忙"You might be confused because he didn't use the words,Penny,"Sheldon," "please" or "favor."好了别聊天了Okay. Enough chitchat.好第一步将你的紧急备用钥匙插入我们公寓大门Okay,step one. Locate your emergency key to our apartment.第二步进入我们的公寓第三步...Step two: enter our apartment. Step three:...进入我的卧室Enter my broom.- 等等Sheldon 有电话来了- 不!- Oh,hang on,Sheldon,getting another call. - No!Leonard 我告诉你私人机器人没那么快到达这里Leonard,let me tell you something. Personal robots cannot get here soon enough.而那颗清晨偷偷探出头一瞥的闪亮星星And that bright little star peeking her head out early today...就是金星(亦有爱神"维纳斯"之意)that's Venus.太酷了That is so cool.你真的很了解太空You really know a lot about space.拜托你在电视上演时你实际上就是在太空上Come on. When you were on TV in Firefly,you were actually in space.你不是真的相信吧?You're not one of those guys who really believe that,are you?你是说那些绝望的怪家伙?才不是You mean one of the hopeless geeks? No.那是群疯子Those are crazy people.Howard 行行好帮我再拿一杯这个Howard,be a dear and get me another one of these.看他他就是怪家伙之一Now,him,he's one of those geeks.好吧现在在你独自进入我的卧室前All right,now,before you enter my bedroom unescorted,我需要你弄清楚一次进入许可并不代表永久通行权I need you to understand that this onetime grant of access does not create a permanent easement. 通-行-权Easement.是合法进入权老天爷啊It's a legal right of access. Good grief.什么? 别啊别让我再等了What? No,don't put me on hold.能相信吗Do you believe him?一般一见女人他就跟蔫豆角一样Normally around women,he has the personality of a boiled potato.一杯啤酒下了肚立马变成魅力先生了Put one beer in him,and he's M. Night Charmalarmalon.他就喝的这个? 根本都不算是酒啊Is that what he's drinking? It's not even real beer.- 什么? - 看啊无酒精- What? - Look at it. Non-alcoholic beer.- 怎么回事? - 不知道- What's going on? - I don't know.算是安慰剂效应吧Some sort of placebo effect,I guess.安慰剂是吧有意思了Placebo,you say. Interesting.是啊当然在还能去哪? 我可是在火车上Yes,I'm still here. Where am I going? I'm on a train.现在在霍伯曼球面和有黄铁矿斑点的石英样本中Now,what you'll be looking for is a small wooden box located between a Hoberman's sphere 找一个木质的小盒子and a sample of quartz flecked with pyrite.霍伯曼球面Hoberman's Sphere.是个可折叠的三十二面体It's collapsible icosidodecahedron.不是上面有时间的是我的闹表No,the thing with the time on it is my alarm clock.实际在印度星座的名字是不一样的Actually,in India,the names of constellations are different.你们说北斗七星是大勺子我们叫大咖喱锅Where you have the Big Dipper,we have the Big Curry Pot.你瞎编的You're making that up.被你拆穿了You got me.现在打算怎么惩罚我?Now what are you going to do with me?- Raj - 啥事?- Raj. - Yes?- 瞧瞧- 瞧什么?- Look. - What am I looking at?你说呢You tell me.无酒精啤酒...Non-alcoholic beer.我是完美事物的小小化身I'm the small package good things come in.我是找到盒子了但没有钥匙Okay,I got a box,but there's no key in here.都是信Just letters.拿错盒子了放回去That's the wrg box. Put it back.哦Sheldon 都是你外婆寄的信?Oh,Sheldon,are these letters from your grandmother?表读那些信哦!Don't read those letters!呀瞧瞧她叫你"月亮派" 多可爱啊Oh,look,she calls you "Moon Pie." That is so cute.快把信放下!Put down the letters!嘿Penny 我是LeonardHey,Penny. It's Leonard.嘿Leonard 火车旅途怎么样?Hey,Leonard. How's the train ride?很开心Delightful.听着不知道你在读啥Listen,I don't know what you're doing right now,不过Sheldon气得嘴角吐泡了but there are little bubbles forming on the corners of Sheldon's mouth.好啦我是越界了让他接吧Okay,yeah,I kind of crossed a line. Put him back on.谢谢Thank you.- 我来了- 咋样月亮派?- I'm back. - What up,Moon Pie?除了外婆谁都不许叫我月亮派Nobody calls me Moon Pie but Meemaw!嘿Penny 又是我LeonardHey,Penny. Leonard again.总之在梦里我俩滑冰来着就我们两个人So anyway,in the dream,you and I were ice skating,just the two of us.然后我拖起你脚踝转啊转And then,I picked you up by your ankles and twirled you round and round 直到你的腿掉下来until your legs tore off.我尝试把它们接回去的但还没来得及I tried to stick them back on,but before I could,你就变成一大块粗麦面包了you turned into a giant loaf of pumpernickel bread.你觉得这是啥意思?What do you think that means?我还真不知道I really don't know.给你点提示吧我最爱的三明治?I'll give you a little clue. My favorite sandwich?粗麦面包夹意大利香肠Salami on pumpernickel.这样哦?Is that so?你知不知道粗麦面包(pumpernickel)是由德文里的"pumper"和"nickel"来的And did you know the word "pumpernickel" comes from the German words "pumper" and "nickel,"可以大致译成"小笨蛋"?which loosely translates to "fart goblin"?不不知道No. I didn't.好了找到盒子里接下来呢?Okay,I found the box. Now what?你拿着的是日本解谜盒子要走精确地十步才能打开You're holding a Japanese puzzle box,which takes ten precise moves to open.首先用钻石图案找到嵌板First,locate the panel with the diamond pattern将中间部分向左移动一毫米and slide the center portion one millimeter to the left.然后在盒子的背面将整个嵌板向下滑动两毫米Then,on the opposite end of the box,slide the entire panel down two millimeters.- 你会听到咔哒一声- 等等- You'll hear a slight click. - Hang on.Sheldon 你对这盒子有啥特殊感情吗?Sheldon,do you have any emotional attachment to this box?没是我在网上买的新奇玩意听到咔哒声没有?No,it's a velty I ordered off the Internet. Did you hear the click?还没Not yet.有了There it is.好还有一个Okay,here's another one.要是你嫁给著名摇滚吉他手Johnny Winter 你就叫Summer Winter了(夏天冬天)If you married the famous rock guitarist Johnny Winter,you'd be Summer Winter.好了跟你直说吧我喜欢你Okay,I'm going to just go for broke here and say I like you.是吗?Yeah?我想问问你看有没啥可能咱俩聊着聊着就从现在的尴尬对话So here's my question: do you realistically see any conversational path that would take me from wherewe are right now to a place过渡到我约你出去然后你说好的?where I could ask you out and you'd say yes?没有No.很好我不打扰你了Fair enough. I'll leave you in peace.谢谢Thank you.我走之前呢But before I go,介不介意咱俩合个影我好放到我Facebook上去?would you mind if I just take one picture of us together for my Facebook page?拍吧Sure.好的太棒了能不能再拍张看起来像是在亲热的?Okay. Great. Now,can I take one where it looks like we're making out?好了现在把闪存卡插到USB口...Okay,now you're going to insert the flash drive into the USB port...她叫我月亮派是因为我太口耐她想把我吃掉She calls me Moon Pie because I'm nummy-nummy and she could just eat me up.拜托了把闪存卡插到USB口Now,please put the flash drive in the USB port.长的像鸭子嘴巴的The one that looks like a little duck's mouth.嘿怎么样?Hey,how'd it go?终结者把我的手机终结了Terminator broke my phone.失陪下Excuse me.好了实话跟你说吧Okay,I'll be honest with you.两个小时了我脑子里构想了无数场景I've just spent the last two hours imagining various scenarios in my head, 想找点啥机智的台词跟你说说trying to come up with some clever line to say to you.但我意识到你是人我也是人{\c I'm a human being.- 我可以干脆跟你说... - 下一站圣巴巴拉- I could just say to you... - Next stop: Santa Barbara.抱歉我到站了I'm sorry. This is me.嗨我叫LeonardHi,my name's Leonard.于是我就想你是啥时候3年前得的诺贝尔奖?So,I'm thinking,you won the Nobel Prize what,three years ago?肯定回应了不少"Smoot最近有啥成就"之类问题So you must deal with a whole lot of "What has Smoot done lately?"我想着咱们组队继续我的研究My thought is we continue my research as aeam--那个叫Cooper-Smoot 字母顺序you know,Cooper-Smoot,alphabetical--等我们赢了诺贝尔你又可以重回巅峰了and when we win the Nobel Prize,you'll be back on top.恕我直言Cooper博士你嗑药了吧?With all due respect,Dr. Cooper,are you on crack?好了啦! Smoot-CooperFine! Smoot-Cooper.哦哟瞧这架子Wow,what a diva.。

* 我再也不想有** I don't ever want to feel ** 如那天般的感受** Like I did that day ** 带我去我爱的地方** Take me to the place I love ** 带我一路走** Take me all the way ** 我再也不想有** I don't ever want to feel ** 如那天般的感受** Like I did that day ** 带我去我爱的地...** Take me to the place I lo...*伙计们消停点儿吧Fellas,please.算了吧Penny 我们刚开始唱呢Penny,come on. We were just finding our sound.你自己听听吧不知道的还以为哪只猫被卷进割草机里了呢You found it. It's the sound of a cat being run over by a lawn mower.我真的很忙I'm really very busy.我们能否推迟一下? 我好有点时间来准备Is there any way that we can put this off until I have more time to prepare?当然了可... 你知道我有些啥顾虑Of course. But,uh,you understand my trepidation.- 他又在干嘛? - 毫无头绪- What's that about? - Not a clue.就不能推迟到开春吗?Can't we just postpone it till the spring?或者明年夏天?Maybe next summer?这个应该很好推断的This should be fairly easy to deduce.他把电话搁在左耳旁边He's holding the phone to his left ear.左耳还是左脑控制的所以他是在理性分析而不是感情用事Ears do not cross hemispheres,so he's using the analytical rather than the emotional side of thebrain,表明他和来电者没有私人关系suggesting that he has no personal relationship with the caller.不我没想到已经这么久了No,I didn't realize it had been so long.好吧那就只好这么办了Sure,I guess there's no other choice but to just go ahead and do it.他谈到了一件以前做过的事He's referring to an activity he has done before.那件事不怎么令人愉快但又不得不再来一遍It's unpleasant and needs to be repeated.表明这件事应该是某种侵入性医疗检查比如说结肠镜检查This suggests some sort of invasive medical test,like perhaps a colonoscopy.就没有其他选择了么?Aren't there any other options?没多大地方肯定很不舒服的There's not a lot of room. It's gonna be uncomfortable.没错没错Yes,yes.我敢肯定是结肠镜检查I'm definitely going with colonoscopy.好吧再见Okay,bye.我妈要来看我My mother's coming to visit.听听你说得没错啊How about that,you were right.电梯坏了It's out of order.嗯我识字的我只是在沉思其背后的深意Yes,I can read the sign. I'm just pondering the implications.我觉得这意味着电梯不工作了I think it implies that the elevator doesn't work.再说一遍我识字的Again,I can read the sign.不过标签和胶带上都有厚厚一层灰了But the sign and the tape are coated with a layer of dust,这表示电梯已经坏了有相当长的一段时间了which indicates that the elevator has been nonfunctional for a significant amount of time. 也就暗示着这栋大楼里的Which suggests either a remarkable passivity among the,大约24到36位居民十分不主动I assume,24 to 36 residents of this building,噢居民数我是从邮箱的数目以及普通城镇人口密度推断出来的based on the number of mailboxes and given typical urban population density或者说这些人都有功能性错觉or a shared delusion of functionality.你一定是Leonard他母亲You must be Leonard's mother.噢不知道是不是非得是不过是的Oh,I don't know if I must be,but yes.我是Penny 他的邻居Uh,I'm Penny. I'm his neighbor.噢Beverly Hofstadter博士Oh,Dr. Beverly Hofstadter.很高兴见到你Oh,nice to meet you.噢你习惯握手啊真有趣Oh,you're a hand shaker. Interesting.你跟我一起走吧我带你去他们房间Uh,why don't you come with me. I'll walk you to the apartment.噢好啊路上咱先寒暄寒暄吧?Oh,all right. Would you like to exchange pleasantries on the way?- 嗯好啊- 那好你先说吧- Yeah,sure,I guess. - All right,you start.行你要知道我一直都好奇心很重Okay. You know,I've always been curious.Leonard小时候是什么样的?What was Leonard like when he was little?噢我想你是指他年轻的时候他一直都是个小不点儿Oh,I think you mean young. He's always been little.没错他年轻的时候是什么样的?Right,okay. What was he like when he was young?你得再说具体点儿You'll have to be more specific.呃... 好吧比如说五六岁的时候Um,okay,like,five or six.五岁Five.那时他正深陷于弗洛伊德所谓的心理性发展之生殖器崇拜阶段Oh,well,at that age,he was well enmeshed in what Freud would call the phallic stage of psychosexualdevelopment.当然是个过时的理论了不过那孩子确实在大部分醒着的时候An outmoded theory,of course,but the boy did spend most of his waking hours牢牢地抓住自己的小弟弟不放with a tight grasp on his penis.是啊Leonard说起过你是个精神病学家Yeah,Leonard mentioned you were a psychiatrist.那只是其中一个学位罢了我主要涉及的领域是神经系统学Well,that is one of my degrees. My primary field is neuroscience.我是个演员Well,I'm an actress.为什么?Why?什么叫为什么?What do you mean why?有研究表明Well,there are studies that suggest that many许多演艺界的人士都有外控性格who go into the performing arts suffer from an external locus of identity.我不知道你在说什么Yeah,I don't know what that means.是说当别人重视你时你才会重视自己Well,it means you value yourself only as others value you,通常是童年未满足的情感需求导致的which is often the result of unmet childhood emotional needs.噢我的童年可了不得了Oh,well,I had a wonderful childhood.是么Tell me about it.我知道老爸想要个儿子I know my dad wanted a boy.我... 我努力让自己变成体育健将可我真的讨厌把自己弄脏!I-I just,I tried being good at sports,but I hated getting dirty!然后我想你进入了青春期And then,I'm assuming,you entered adolescence.在我得到第一件运动内衣之前他都管我叫"重击手"来着He called me Slugger until I got my first training bra.之后他就不和我玩传接球了And then he just stopped playing catch with me.我再也不是"重击手"了I wasn't Slugger anymore.你妈妈来了!Your mother's here!如果你想和那个姑娘上床查查他老爸擦的是哪种古龙水If y w want to have intercouee with tt t girl,find out what kind of cologne her fathorore. 见到你真好妈妈Good to see you,Mother.这是你要的茶妈妈Here's your tea,Mother.- 乌龙茶? - 嗯- Oolong? - Yes.- 散装的不是袋泡的? - 嗯- Loose,not bagged? - Yes.- 泡了三分钟? - 嗯- Steeped three minutes? - Yes.- 加了2%的牛奶- 嗯- Two-percent milk? - Yes.- 分开加热的? - 嗯- Warmed separately? - Yes.- 一茶勺糖? - 嗯- One teaspoon sugar? - Yes.- 原糖? - 嗯- Raw sugar? - Yes.凉了It's cold.我再来一回I'll start again.我也有同样的困扰I*******我的看法是他无法集中精力是因为过度发达的性冲动造成的*******developed sex drive.他怎么会有那玩意儿Oh,I don't know where he would've gotten that.除却一段形式上完满的婚姻Aside from a pro forma consummation of our marriage,他的父亲和我交髯只是为了繁殖his father and I only had intercourse for the purposes of reproduction.这样还真是高效哈That seems a fairly efficient arrangement.是啊我们也这么想我们曾为这事做了论文研究Yes,we think so. We've both done papers on it.我从神经系统科学观点出发他是从人类学观点出发Mine from the neuroscientific point of view and his from an anthropological. 当然我的才有阅读价值Mine,of course,was the only one worth reading.当然Of course.我非常希望可以拜读一下你的性生活I would very much like to read about your sex life.你可以在线阅读或者你可以从普林斯顿大学出版社订购Well,it's all online or you can order it from the Princeton University Press. 这是你的茶妈妈Here's your tea,Mother.你们在聊什么呢?So,what are you guys talking about?你父母性交的频率The frequency with which your parents had intercourse.哦Swell.幸运的话她会给你做幻灯片演讲哦If you're lucky,maybe she'll show you the PowerPoint presentation.对不起那在我另一个笔记本里I'm sorry,it's on my other laptop.妈妈... 有什么新鲜事?So,Mother... what's new?你应该要有针对性地问You'll have to be more specific.好吧你有什么新鲜事?All right. Uh,what's new with you?哦我最近有一些令人着迷的更年期征兆Oh,well,I've been having some fascinating menopausal symptoms recently.说些不是太私人的事Maybe something less personal.你Floyd叔叔死了Your Uncle Floyd died.哦天啊出什么事了?Oh,my God. What happened?他的心脏不跳了His heart stopped beating.我得去小便I have to urinate.多么非凡的女人What a remarkable woman.是啊我就觉着你俩合得来Yeah,I-I thought you guys might hit it off.我很嫉妒你的童年I envy you your childhood.不想这么说但我童年时期唯一温暖的记忆都是来自我Floyd叔叔I hate to tell you,but the only warm memories I have of my childhood are of my Uncle Floyd. 你很显然记错了You're clearly misremembering.你妈妈太有才了既有分析能力又富有洞察力Your mother is brilliant,analytical,insightful.而且我打赌她不会因为你不吃芽甘蓝就用圣经来打你And I'm betting she never hit you with a Bible because you wouldn't eat your Brussels sprouts. Sheldon 你太不会欣赏你妈妈了Sheldon,you don't give your mother enough credit.她很温暖她很慈爱She's warm,she's loving,不会在你学用婴儿便盆时就把电极粘到你头上来测脑电波she doesn't glue electrodes to your head to measure your brain waves while potty training. 够有福了我小的时候要是想做脑电图You were lucky.When I was a kid,if I wanted an EEG,我还得自己接电极I had to attach my own electrodes.Hofstadter博士Lenoard很少谈起他格外成功的兄弟姐妹So,Dr.Hofstadter,Leonard rarely talks about his incredibly successful brother and sister. 求你别说起这个HowardPlease,don't go there,Howard.我知道不像Lenoard 他们在各自的领域里是尖子I understand that,unlike Leonard,they're at the top of their respective fields.兄弟你很烦Boy,you suck.Leonard的弟弟Michael 是哈佛大学的终身制法学教授Well,Leonard's younger brother,Michael,is a tenured law professor at Harvard,他姐姐刚在一个青年长臂猿身上成功地培育了一个人类的胰腺and his sister just successfully grew a human pancreas in an adolescent gibbon.说来她就快能治糖尿病了?So,she's close to curing diabetes?要不然为啥在青年长臂猿身上培育胰腺?Why else would you grow a pancreas in a enaged gibbon?哇喔你肯定对此感到很骄傲Wow,you must be very proud.骄傲啥又不是我的成就Why? They're not my accomplishments.我得去小便I have to urinate.为什么你要这么做?Why are you doing this?你知道规矩你带妈妈来上班就等着遭罪吧You know the rules. You brought your mom to work-- you must suffer.Leonard 真不知道你兄妹比你强那么多呢呀Leonard,I had no idea your siblings were so much more successful than yo你就像Hofstadter家族的加·加·宾克斯(星战人物笨手笨脚)Yeah,you're like the Jar Jar Binks of the Hofstadter family.哦~我呀觉得你呀看起来好伤心哟Oh,meesa think yousa lookin' so so sad.比起嘲笑我我的朋友们应该意识到我这日子不好过You know,rather than mock me,my friends might realize that this is difficult并试着帮我渡过难关and try to help me through it.不我认为嘲笑你更有意思Nope,I think mocking you isore fun.下次你呀来带妈妈来工作不?Next time,don't yousa bring mama to work. Okee-day?很快啊That was fast.哦中间那个隔间有人我一会再去Oh,the middle stall was occupied. I'll have to try again later.这是完全可以理解的That's totally understandable.在膀胱排泄过程中就好比房地产最重要的就是位置位置还是位置In bladder voiding,as in real estate,it's location,location,location.我们说到哪了?So,where were we?Howard和他妈妈一起住Raj只有喝醉了才和女人讲话Howard lives with his mother and Raj can't speak to women unless he's drunk. 开讲吧Go.真有意思选择性缄默症是非常罕见的That's fascinating. Selective mutism is quite rare.另一方面一个成年犹太男人跟他的妈妈住在一起On the other hand,an adult Jewish male living with his mother就太常见了社会学中家常便饭is so common it borders on sociological clich\.只是暂时的我有付租金{\c I pay rent.他的摇篮还放在自己的卧室He lives in the same room where his bassinet was.选择性缄默症和无法跟妈妈分开You know,both selective mutism and an inability to separate from one's mother 都可能源于对女性的病态恐惧can stem from a pathological fear of women.可以解释你俩为什么假装同性结婚It might explain why the two of you have created an ersatz homosexual marriage 来满足你们对亲热的需求to satisfy your need for intimacy说啥?Say what?不就是我刚说的嘛That's basically what I just said.你带老公来上班你知道规矩的You brought your husband to work. You know the rules.我呀觉得你呀看起来也很伤心哟真的哟真的哟Meesa thinking yousa looking pretty sad now too,betcha,betcha.Leonard 1点了Leonard,it's 1:00.你不是要在1点带我去实验室么?Weren't you going to show me your laboratory at 1:00?不用着急妈妈There's no hurry,Mother.再跟他们讲讲他们的爱恋之情Tell them more about their secret love for each other.但是1点了啊你说1点带我看实验室的But it's 1:00. You were going to show me your laboratory at 1:00.她完全在理啊1点了Her reasoning is unassailable It is 1:00.好吧走吧Fine. Let's go.你会觉得我的工作特别有意思I think you'll find my work pretty interesting.我试图复制意大利人曾发现的钠的碘化物结晶上黑物质信号I'm attempti to replicate the dark matter signal found in sodium iodide crystals by the Italians. 不是原创的研究喽?So,no original research?不是No.那还有啥好参观的Well,what's the point of my seeing it?看意大利人写的文章不得了I could just read the paper the Italians wrote.告诉你哦我们不是什么假同性恋人Just for the record,we're not in an ersatz homosexual relationship.那你刚才怎么不跟她说?Wellthen why didn't you say that to her?怎么总是怪我啊?Why is it always my responsibility?啥总是怪你啊It's not always your responsibility.我发誓上周在漫画书店你也是这么干的I swear,this is the same thing you did at the comic book store last week.你居然敢提起这事I can't believe you're bringing that up.我没提是你提的I didn't bring it up. You did.咱们过会再说We'll talk about this later.你老是这么说可是从来也没谈You always say that,but we never do.你们去漫画书店竟然没带我You went to the comic book store without me?你有酒么?You got alcohol?- 你妈妈还在这呢? - 是啊- Your mom still here? - Yep.进来吧Come on in.等等她不会过来找你吧?Wait,wait,she's not gonna come here looking for you,is she?放心吧她带Sheldon 去医院扫描大脑了Relax. She took Sheldon to the hospital to get a brain scan.天啦出什么事了?Oh,my God. What happened?没事老妈喜欢看大脑Sheldon喜欢大脑被扫描Nothing. Mother likes looking at brains and Sheldon likes getting his brain scanned.呀多搭调的一对呀Geez,what a fun couple.她才来一天半我已经在考虑当职业酗酒者了She's only been here a day and a half and I'm seriously considering alcoholism as a new career path.嘿我昨天和她谈了五分钟我到现在还没缓过神来呢Hey,I talked to her for five minutes yesterday and I've been half bombed ever since.千万别往脑子里去You can't let her get into your head.我的脑子你的呢?My head,what about yours?我没救了我脑袋已是她的避暑别墅了It's too late for me. My head is her summer house.她说的对She was right,you know.我还真是外控性格The locus of my identity is totally exterior to me.是呀老妈上身了老妈你好Oh,yeah,there she is. Hi,Mom.你知道我整个早上在哪儿吗?I mean,do you know where I was all morning?为某傻傻的抗抑郁药品广告和50个金发美女试镜Auditioning with 50 other blondes for some stupid antidepressant commercial.为了啥?And for what?为了最终获得我爸的认可?So I'll finally get my daddy's approval?你得到角色了吗?Did you get the part?没他们觉得我太活泼了No,they said I was too perky.想谈谈得不到父母关爱么You want to talk about not getting love from a parent.你知道我小时候为了感知人情味而干了什么吗?You know what I used to do when I was little to have some sensation of human contact? 知道你抓住小弟弟不放Yeah,you grabbed your penis and wouldn't let go.你妈告诉我的Your mother told me.肯定是她说的不过那不是我想说的Of course she did. Anyway,that's not what I was gonnaay.我十岁的时候我造了个拥抱机When I was ten years old,I built a hugging machine.- 拥抱机? - 是呀- A hugging machine? - Yeah.我有个做裁缝用的模特I got a dressmaker's mannequin,我塞进一床电热毯让它变得温暖I stuffed it with an electric blanket so it would be warm,又造了无线电控制的双臂可以拥抱我轻拍我的背and built two radio-controlled arms that would hug me and pat my back.呀可怜的孩子Oh,that is so sad.- 知道最可怜的是什么吗? - 什么?- You know what the saddest part was? - What?我爸常借过去用My father used to borrow it.你的扫描数据会对我的研究很有帮助Your scan data will be very helpful to my research.你的大脑很与众不同You have a remarkable brain.我知道I know.尽管我一直很不喜欢我右额叶图Although I've always hated how my right frontal lobe looks in pictures.男人的常见抱怨Common complaint among men.什么都嫌不够大Nothing's ever big enough.除非得了肿瘤要不总是抱怨Except when they get a tumor. Then you never hear the end of it.有机会我很想看看你的脑扫描图I'd love to e a scan of your brain sometime.我会给你发个链接但其生理机能比较稀疏平常Oh,I'll send you a link,but its physiology is fairly unimpressive.不会吧Oh,I can't believe that.你不愿接受经验证据显示出你打算对我阿谀奉承Your unwillingness to accept empirical evidence suggests an attempt at flattery. 我很抱歉My apologies.长期与你儿子居住养成了一些坏习惯I've been living with your son too long. Gotten into some bad habits.可以理解Understandable.我能为你沏杯茶吗?Can I make you a cup of tea?我不太确定但是如果有人可以的话可能就是你I doubt it,but if anyone has a chance,it's probably you.和你相处我十分自在I feel very comfortable around you.和你相处我也很自在I feel very comfortable around you,too.令人吃惊的是我基本上和谁相处都...不自在It's surprising because I generally don't feel comfortable around,well,anyone.我也是Nor I.我们两个这样如此稀罕的人What are the odds that two individuals as unique as ourselves would be connected 被像你儿子这般普通的人联系起来的可能性有多大呀?by someone as comparatively workaday as your son?你是在比喻还是想算出来?Is that a rhetorical point or would you like to do the math?我想算出几率来I'd like to do the math.我也是I'd like that,too.好啦这次你要舔掉...Okay,now this time,you're gonna lick the salt...我脖子上的盐...off my neck...干一杯...哟do the shot... Whoops.然后咬住酸橙and then bite the lime.抱歉"舔"字后面的完全没清I'm sorry,I didn't hear anything after "lick."脖子干杯酸橙Neck,shot,lime.- 好啦干杯咬酸橙- 对- Okay,shot,lime. - Right.酸橙呢?Where's the lime?好极了我们一起吃吧Oh,okay,we're sharing.那么你觉得如何?So,what do you think?相当的诱人I'm very tempted.我不知道与我儿子的室友这么做是否合适I'm just not sure it's appropriate with my son's roommate.通常我也这样想Normally,I'd feel the same way.但基于我所观察到的我们之间的情况But based on everything I've observed about us,我不得不推测我们一起会相当得棒I can't help but speculate we'd be very good together.对我也观察到了True. I've had a similar observation.我和我丈夫永远也不会发生这事It's certainly something I could never do with my husband.我第一次尝试的时候也很犹豫I was hesitant the first time I tried it,但我经历了一次前所未有的极量"快感荷尔蒙"释放but I experienced an unanticipated anremarkable release of endorphins. 相当的惬意呀It's quite satisfying.我明白你想干什么I see what you're doing.你请求对我做一次神经学研究You're appealing to the neuroscientific researcher in me.你能看透我对吧?You see right through me,don't you?只有在分层造影扫描机里才行Only when you're in a CAT scanner.美梦正在成真呀This is actually gonna happen.宝贝嘘嘘嘘嘘嘘Honey,shush,shush,shush,shush,shush.你别出声我乐死了我想谈谈You shush,I'm happy. I want to talk about it.知道我妈会怎么说吗?You know what my mother would say about this?她会说因为你缺父爱而我缺母爱She would say because you were not loved by your father and I was not loved by my mother, 我们做爱是为了弥补我们童年缺少的亲人之爱that having sex is our way of making up for the intimacy we didn't get as children.为啥你现在提起这个?Why would you bring that up right now?不知道也作为前戏?I don't know. Foreplay?你的意思是你不是和我做爱是而你妈做了?So you're saying you're not having sex with me,you're having sex with your mother?我想说的是"不是"I'm gonna go with "no."这是我听过的最变态的事That is the sickest thing I've ever heard.别呀如果你想和你爸做爱我没意见的Come on,you're trying to have sex with your father,and I'm okay with that.滚出去!Get out!她说嘘的时候我就该闭嘴She said shush. I should have shushed.彻夜彻夜Ooh,all night,all night每夜Oh,every night抱紧Hold tight你抱紧You hold tight宝贝儿抱紧吧Baby,hold tight你想怎样就怎样Anyway you want it,that's the way you need it你想怎样...Anyway you want it...好啦妈妈All right,Mother.一路平安Um,have a nice flight.不由我说了算对吧?That's not really in my control,is it?哦对了Oh,uh,yes.早上好Oh,good morning.早Morning.我正想过来和你谈谈Look,I was just coming over to talk to you.你用不着谈了永远别You don't have to. Ever.知道了Gotcha.- 再见妈妈- 再见Leonard- Good-bye,Mother. - Good-bye,Leonard.重击手我们接着聊上次的话题吗?So,Slugger,shall we pick up where we left off last time?我是说我妈可以说Bob 算了吧她是个女孩子日子还得过I mean,my mom could've just said,Bob,get over it,she's a girl,move on.但她没有口都没张But she didn't. Not one word.有意思Interesting.你愿意到新泽西聊聊你和父母的关系Would you be willing to fly to New Jersey and discuss your relationship with your parents 与此同时做脑扫描吗?during a brain scan?- 对我有帮助吗? - 嗯对我有帮助- Would it help? - Well,it would help me.。

如果你们对应用物理有兴趣随时欢迎SO you are considering going into experimental physics,my door is always open.再次的抱歉演示不太成功Once again,I'm sorry that the demonstration didn't quite work out,但至少我们知道了氦-氖激光管里不小心洒了桃味饮料的后果but now we know what happens when you accidentally spill Peach Snapple into a helium neon laser.明智的做法是...别那么做Short answer is...don't.接下来给你们讲理论物理的是Sheldon Cooper博士And now to tell you about the theoretical physics department is Dr. Sheldon Cooper.- Cooper博士? - 我不来- Dr. Cooper? - Forget it.不好意思Excuse me.Sheldon我们可商量好了的Sheldon,we both agreed to do this.这是浪费时间It's a waste of time.我还不如去给一群拉布拉多犬讲解热力学理论I might as well explain the laws of thermodynamics to a bunch of labradoodles.要是不配合不带你去漫画书店哟If you don't do this,I won't take you to the comic book store.大家好Hello.我说激光实验做的不错嘛Nice work with the laser,by the way.看着你们这些年轻的新鲜面孔Looking out at your fresh young faces,不禁想起了当年还是小研究生时我也如此决定自己的研究方向I remember when I too was deciding my academic future as a lowly graduate student.当然那时我才14岁Of course,I was 14.即使9点就得睡觉那时也已小有成就在座大多数至今望尘莫及And I'd already achieved more than most of you could ever hope to,despite my 9:00 bedtime.你们中或许有一两位Now,there may be one or two of you in this room具备天赋在理论物理上有所建树who has what it takes to succeed in theoretical physics.当然啦各位的科学前程将更有可能教授五年级学生Although,it's more likely that you'll spend your scientific careers teaching fifth graders怎样用烘烤苏打粉来糊个纸火山how to make papier mache volcanoes with baking soda lava.仁慈的主呀Oh,good God.总之-- 要是有人告诉你们In short-- any one who told you你们有朝一日能对物理做出巨大贡献that you would someday be able to make any significant contribution to physics,真是忽悠你们绝对绝对是忽悠惨了played a cruel trick on you,a cruel trick indeed.有问题吗?Any questions?自然没有了Of course not.真为科学的未来感到悲哀呐I weep for the future of science.恕我不奉陪最新的蝙蝠侠发行了Now if you'll excuse me,the latest issue of Batman is out.走吧LeonardCome,Leonard.现在看来我的激光演示很棒吧?Laser demonstration's looking pretty good now,huh?每年的这个时节真叫我倾心I love this time of the year.树叶转色空中的寒意让人神清气爽The leaves are turning,there's a bracing chill in the air.再加上新来的一群女研究生准备在冬天稍微给自己"加点料"Plus there's a whole new crop of female grad students about to put on just enough winter weight 让自己愈发惹人呵护to make them needy and vulnerable.这就对了嘛宝贝再吃块馅饼That's right,honey,have another calzone.老爹可以再忍忍Daddy can wait.不是有校规嘛? 不能和研究生约会的Isn't there a university policy against dating graduate students?不是只要能跟她们搭上话你可以随便约No,if you can talk to them,you can ask them out.要死啊! 总给我下套!Damn,there's always a catch.好呀小伙子们Hey,guys.好LeslieHey,Leslie.大傻冒听说昨晚你把一研究生折腾吐了So,dumbass,I heard you made a grad student throw up last night.其实是没准备好听我讲的人自己用手指抠吐的The truth can indeed be a finger down the throat of those unprepared to hear it.我干吗要去给那些二流智商的人讲课?But why should I cater to second-rate minds?因为智商一流的人总喊你"傻冒儿"Because first-rate minds call you "dumbass"?切是吗? 嗯...Oh,yeah?Well...你这个毒舌妇you're a mean person.打扰下Cooper博士我是Ramona NowitzkiExcuse me,Dr. Cooper,I'm Ramona Nowitzki.昨晚我听了你的讲课I was at your talk last night.我觉得你真是天才耶I think you're just brilliant.绝大多数人都这么觉得That is the prevailing opinion.这下我要去吐了Oh,now I'm gonna throw up.Howard Wolowitz 工程系的Howard Wolowitz,department of engineering,参与设计了国际空间站液体废物处理系统co-designer of the International Space Station's Liquid Waste Disposal System.恶心ewCooper博士我拜读了你发表的全部文章Dr. Cooper,I've read everything you've published.特别钟意那篇从弦网浓缩角度阐述大统一理论I especially liked your paper on grand unification using string-network condensates我很好奇你是怎么确定and was wondering how you determined that3D弦网提供了费密子和规范玻色子的统一描述?three-dimensional string-nets provided a unified picture of ferrnions and gauge bosons? 很不错啊! 这拉布拉多真聪明!Amazing,an intelligent labradoodle.汪汪Woof.其实呢我离研究突破就差一点点The fact is I'm quite close to a breakthrough in showing就快搞清楚微中子如何在弦网冷凝物中脱出了how neutrinos emerge from a string-net condensate.天啦那将会颠覆全球对整个物理界的认识Oh,my God,that would change the way we view the entire physical universe.我就是干这个的It's what I do.Pishkin-Wolowitz(两名设计者) 废液处理系统也带来一些冲击You know,the Pishkin-Wolowitz Liquid Waste Disposal System is turning a few heads as well. 又来了恶心Again,ew.我很想听你讲讲怎样加入微中子You know,I'd love to hear more about how you intend to add neutrinos.啥时候去喝杯咖啡吧?Could we get a cup of coffee sometime?我从不喝咖啡I don't drink coffee.我喝我爱喝咖啡了I do.I love me a cup of joe.不一定非要喝咖啡Well,it doesn't have to be coffee.一起晚餐如何?How about dinner?晚饭我还是要吃的I do eat dinner.那就好我知道有家意大利餐厅超棒Great. I know a terrific little Italian place.我从不去陌生的餐厅吃饭I never eat in strange restaurants.指不定就用那些不标准的餐具了One runs the risk of non-standard cutlery.啊什么Excuse me?Sheldon对三个分叉的叉子有恐惧心理Sheldon lives in fear of the three-tined fork.三个分叉的根本不能叫叉子Three tines is not a fork.那叫三叉戟Three tines is a trident.叉是用来吃东西的Forks are for eating,Dialogue: 0,0:05:11.12,0:05:14.14,歌词,说话人,0000,0000,0000,海神手中的三叉戟而三叉戟是用来统治七海的tridents are for ruling the seven seas.要不我把吃的带去你那儿?What if I brought food to your place?这倒行That would be acceptable.周一我吃泰国餐On Mondays,I eat Thai food.脆炸米粉鸡肉沙爹加上暹罗宫的花生酱Mee krob and chicken sate with extra peanut sauce from Siam Palace.没问题我有你家的地址You got it. I already have your address.多好的姑娘啊What a nice girl.Sheldon 你到底有没有搞懂刚才怎么回事Sheldon,do you have any idea what just happened?当然显然是有人要请我吃饭Yes. Apparently I'm getting a free dinner.不好意思这东西基本上不能用啦Oh,yeah,no,this thing's majorly out of order.看吧真不好意思See? Sorry.没关系那我走楼梯咯That's okay. Guess I'm taking the stairs.你去哪家呢?Where you going?4-A4-A.是来找Leonard的吧Oh,are you here to see Leonard?不是我找Cooper博士No,Dr. Cooper.你说的是Sheldon Cooper博士?Dr. Sheldon Cooper?我们要共进晚餐We're having dinner.你确信是Sheldon Cooper?Sheldon Cooper?那个瘦瘦高高长得像巨人版螳螂煞星Tall,thin,looks a little like a giant praying mantis?他好帅的哟是吧He is cute,isn't he?真的是Sheldon Cooper?Sheldon Cooper?你好LenonandHi,Leonard.你好Ramona 快进来Hey,Ramona. Come on in.谢谢这些东西放哪儿呢Thanks. Where should I put this?放厨房就好了Uh,the kitchen's fine.你来有事吗?Hey,what are you doing?这好戏我不能错过哇I need to see this.观众席在那边The viewing area's right over there.Sheldon 你女朋... 约会对...Ramona来了Sheldon,your girl... date... person... Ramona's here.你好啊Oh,hello.不好意思我迟到了Oh,sorry I'm late.看到你刚发表的论文草本看得太入迷了I just got so caught up reading the draft of your latest paper.我对镜象对称性作了一个脚注说明Did you enjoy the humorous footnote where I illustrate mirror-symmetry 把它比喻成闪电和自己打网球你体会到其中的幽默了吗?by likening it to the Flash playing tennis with himself?太好笑了So funny.不得不提的是你关于重力组合可能性的猜想But the idea that you might be able to incorporate gravity,真的是让我实打实地兴奋I have to tell you,I found it physically exhilarating.我的假设通常都有这种效果My hypotheses tend to have that effect.不好意思我没给你朋友带吃的I'm sorry I didn't bring enough for your friends.我以为就我们两人I assumed we were going to be alone.喔没错我们正要--Oh,yeah. No,we were just going.准备看戏不是吗To watch,right?快我们马上就出门了No,come on,now,we're going out.别这样嘛我们不说话成吗Oh,come on,we'll be quiet.我们还是走吧走吧Let's go,let's go.好了祝你们俩的...随便啦Okay,you two. Have a nice...开心就是了whatever this is.你们听好我清楚这事压根跟我没关系Okay,you guys,look,I know this is none of my business,但是我还是要忍不住想问Sheldon的"型"到底是啥?but I just... I have to ask-- what's Sheldon's deal?什么"型"啊?What do you mean "deal"?就是说他好哪种型的You know,like what's his deal?女人男人布袋木偶?Is it girls...? Guys...? Sock puppets...?说实话在我们的逻辑中他根本没有"型"Honestly,we've been operating under the assumption that he has no deal.别这样说每个人都有喜欢的型啊Come on,everybody has a deal.除了SheldonNot Sheldon.多年来我们一直潜心试图探究他将如何繁衍后代Over the years,we've formulated many theories about how he might reproduce.我主张的是有丝分裂I'm an advocate of mitosis.什么?I'm sorry?我相信总有一天当Sheldon吃到一定量的泰国菜I believe one day Sheldon will eat an enormous amount of Thai food他就会分裂成两个Sheldonand split into two Sheldons.另一方面我在想Sheldon可能是他这个物种的幼虫状态On the other hand,I think Sheldon might be the larval form of his species,有一天他会做茧不出俩月就破茧成蝶and someday he'll spin a cocoon and emerge two months later with moth wings and an exoskeleton.谢谢你俩给我讲恐怖故事Okay,well,thanks for the nightmares.要不我们一起出去逛逛Hey,do you want to hang out with us?你们有什么节目What are you guys gonna do?我妈妈今晚作了胸肉My mom's making a brisket tonight.那种放了小洋葱的?The one with the little onions?不好意思我很忙晚安吧Yeah,I'm busy,so... Good night.不去是她的损失我们走吧Her loss. Let's go.胸肉聚会耶胸是胸肉的胸Brisket party! B- to-the-R-to-the-I-S-K...肉是胸肉的肉哦也To-the-E-to-the-T...Ooh...得了吧Don't.你不吃早餐吗?Hey,aren't you having breakfast?我吃的Yes.你又在捣鼓那些营养栓剂啊?Are you experimenting with nutritional suppositories again?穿这条裤子不干那活儿Not in these pants.话说你昨天和Ramona玩的咋样So... how'd it go with Ramona last night?爽歪了她好聪明好有见解Oh,great. She's smart,insightful而且用一种十分独特的方式崇拜我and she has a very unique way of,you know,revering me.这是你的菠菜蘑菇煎蛋卷Here's your spinach mushroom omelet.谢谢Thank you.有谁碰过这个吗?Did anyone touch it?每个人手上都带上了手套Gloves were worn by everyone involved.我一直很小心I was vigilant.Ramona跟我说我每次浪费20分钟在食堂排队Ramona pointed out that I've been wasting 20 minutes a day standing on cafeteria lines. 这些时间用来攻克世界级的物理课题会更好哟Time which would be better spent tackling the great physics problems of our day.哎我们不是攻克难题RamonaYou don't tackle the big issues,Ramona.是要和它们周旋You fence with them.准备好杀个回马枪En garde. Riposte.说的好Touche.- 早上好- 你好Leslie- Morning. - Hi,Leslie.Sheldon 我看到你在为SmithsonianSo,Sheldon,I see you're organizing your papers傻冒儿博物馆赶论文呢for the Smithsonian Museum of Dumbassery.在撤下Leslie Winkle的永久展览前那里没有多余的展厅There won't be any room until they get rid of the permanent Leslie Winkle exhibit. 喔正点Oh,good one.你居然找了一个研究生替你出头I see you got a grad student to fight your battles for you.今天就饶你一马省省你的午餐费I'll let you keep your lunch money today.Cooper博士马上要取得突破性的进展Okay,Dr. Cooper is on the verge of a breakthrough.如果你想待在这里If you're going to stay,你就得乖乖的听他的you'll have to be respectful and quiet.等我~~Wait for me.微中子问题解决了吗?So have you worked out the neutrino issue?为了诠释莫扎特Well,to paraphrase Mozart,所有的次原子微粒都齐备了all the subatomic particles are there.我只需要把他们按顺序排列一下I just have to put them in the right order.你可真机敏呀You're so witty.敢说不是Aren't I?伙计们这个包裹是Hey,guys,this package came for...Cooper博士正在工作Dr. Cooper is working.没错我马上要取得惊人的进展了Yes,I'm close to a breakthrough.哎呀痒痒!Ooh,it tickles!真抱歉打扰了Sorry.囧囧偶的神啊Holy crap on a cracker.嗨PennyHey,Penny.你最好不要进去Hi. You probably don't want to go in there.为啥他们搞什么呢?Why? What are they doing?我只能这么解释里面是一间摆着洋娃娃的医务室The only way I could explain it would be in a therapist's office with dolls. 乖乖隆滴东Hoo-boy.Cooper博士正在研究Dr. Cooper's working.是啊我长着眼睛看得见Yeah,I can see that.Sheldon 今天是光环之夜Koothrappali家你来吗?Sheldon,Halonight,Koothrappali's. You coming?Xbox360游戏对哦光环之夜Oh,yes,it'sHalonight.等我烘干一下我的小脚趾Let me just dry my tootsies.你不会去光环大战吧You're not going toHalonight.我要去啊今儿是周三周三是光环之夜Yes,I am. It's Wednesday. Wednesday'sHalonight.有个伟人不是说过科学需要不仅仅是Didn't a great man once say,"Science demands nothing less than the fervent 一腔热血而是无条件的奉献我们的一生"and unconditional dedication of our entire lives"?他是说过He did.那么这个伟人是谁呢And who was that great man?我Me.不好意思LeonardSorry,Leonard.你真的不来吗Seriously? You're not coming?你听到她说的了我怎么能跟自己唱反调?You heard her. How can I argue with me?又这样得你们俩好好的乐吧Okay,well,once again,you guys have a good...管你们乐些什么whatever this is.Cooper博士我必须向你指出你的朋友在拖你后腿Dr. Cooper,I have to tell you your friends are holding you back.我倾向于认为"我在促使他们进步"I prefer to think of it as "I'm pulling them forward."光环之夜?Halo night?你这样资质的人是不会浪费一晚上时间玩游戏的A man with your intellectual gifts doesn't waste an evening playing video games. 星期三就会啊He does on Wednesdays.如果他想拿诺贝尔奖就不会Not if he wants a Nobel Prize.他还真想拿!He does want that.我这样资质的人会在周末打彩弹吗?Does a man with my intellectual gifts play paintball on weekends?你觉得呢?What do you think?可恶Drat.我们现在该继续干活了吧?Now shall we get back to work?我想是的I suppose.太空堡垒卡拉狄加今晚上映Battlestar Galactica comes on tonight.我想我可以等DVD出来I guess I can wait for the DVD.到时就算买来也永远不看And then never ever watch it.* You can be my Yoko Ono ** You can be my Yoko Ono *Barenaked Ladies乐队"Be My Yoko Ono"* You can follow me wherever I go ** You can follow me wherever I go *歌词中演唱者将自己和爱人* Be my,be my,be my Yoko Ono,whoa-oa ** Be my,be my,be my Yoko Ono,whoa-oa *比喻成列侬和小野洋子* Now that I'm far away ** Now that I'm far away *表明为了爱人* It doesn't seem to me to be such a pain ** It doesn't seem to me to be such a pain *自己甘心放弃一切* To have you hanging off my ankle ** To have you hanging off my ankle ** Like some kind of ball and chain ** Like some kind of ball and chain ** You can be my Yoko Ono ** You can be my Yoko Ono ** You can follow me wherever I go ** You can follow me wherever I go ** You can be my Yoko Ono Whoa-oa-oa ** You can be my Yoko Ono Whoa-oa-oa ** You can follow me wherever I go ** You can follow me wherever I go *Penny! Penny! Penny!Penny! Penny! Penny!Sheldon 亲爱的我都跟你说几回了房子又不大Sheldon,honey,I've told you,it's a small apartment.敲一下就够了You only have to knock one time.别唐僧了我没多少时间Please,please,I don't have a lot of time.听着Ramona总算打瞌睡了你得帮我甩了她Look,Ramona finally dozed off,and I need you to help me get rid of her. 甩了她? 怎么个甩法?Get rid of her how?我不知道但显然我正处于某种关系中I don't know,but apparently I'm in some kind of relationship,而你似乎是终结这类关系的老手and you seem to be an expert at ending them.你说什么?Excuse me?我看见男人们一个接一个从这儿离开倒是没见过再回来的I see man after man leaving this apartment never to return.好吧首先澄清一点并不是一个接一个男人Okay,first of all,it is not man after man.- Cooper博士? - 把我藏起来- Dr. Cooper? - Hide me.把你藏起来?Hide you?我正式要求避难I formally request sanctuary.你为什么没在工作?Why aren't you working?她让我分心了she distracted me.Penny 跟你说几遍才明白我没时间听你胡扯I told you,Penny,I don't have time for your nonsense.我要事缠身I have important things to do.噢不是吧Oh,man.别以为我不知道怎么回事I know what's going on here.真的吗? 好那你来给我解释解释吧Really? Well,then will you explain it to me?你爱上Cooper博士了You're in love with Dr. Cooper.呃才不是你说的这样Uh,yeah,no,that's not it.别想抵赖Don't try to deny it.他是非比寻常之人可你得懂得放手He's a remarkable man,but you have to let him go.噢是吗放就放呗Oh,gee,okay.我知道这很难可我们不能这么自私他是上帝赐给这个世界的礼物I know it's hard,but he's a gift to the whole world,and we can't be selfish. 是啊他是个天才倒没错Yeah,he's a gift all right.好姐妹?Sisters?呃当然好姐妹Uh,sure. Sisters.真TMTM见鬼了Holy crap on a cracker.Sheldon?Sheldon?你在干嘛?What are you doing?打莫尔斯码啊It's Morse code.干啥?Why?我们就能隔着墙交流了So we can communicate through the wall.我们不正在隔墙交流么We are communicating through the wall.没错可我们的交流没有加密啊Yes,but the communication is not encrypted.我唔识莫尔斯码I don't know Morse code.很容易的这是A...It's very simple. This is A ...这是B... 这是C...This is B ... This is C...Sheldon 我才不要在凌晨三点学莫尔斯码!Sheldon,I'm not going to learn Morse code at 3:00 in the morning!那好All right.别进来别进来别进来别进来...Don't come in here,don't come in here,don't come in here,don't...又发什么神经?What's going on?Ramona睡在沙发上呢Ramona's sleeping on the couch.我知道她几时回家?I know. When is she going home?她不回家这就是问题所在Never. That's the problem.我需要你的援助I need your help.你说啥呢?What are you talking about?Skynet:电影中的计算机网络我要求启用"友谊协约"第一条:"天网"条款I'm invoking the Skynet clause of our friendship agreement.那款条约只在一种情况下有效: 你需要我帮你消灭人工智能That only applies if you need me to help you destroy an artificial intelligence 你创造了它它却掌控了地球you've created that's taking over the Earth.拜托! 别死抠字眼儿!Come on! Don't nitpick!晚安Good night.好吧All right.Body Snatchers: 好莱坞科幻电影那我要求启用"异形入侵"条约I'm invoking our Body Snatchers clause."异形入侵"条款要求我帮助你消灭我们都认识的人The Body Snatchers clause requires me to help you destroy someone we know而那个人必须变成了外星虫囊who's been replaced with an alien pod.没错她就在客厅里走吧我在这儿等你凯旋Yes. She's in the living room. Go. I'll wait here.Sheldon 你不睡觉在干啥呢?Sheldon,what are you doing out of bed?快! 消灭她!Now! Do it!你需要足够的睡眠以保证认知表现处于适宜的水平You know you need your sleep in order for your cognitive processing to perform at optimum levels.要乖乖的啊Now come on."哥斯拉"条款?Godzilla clause?Godzilla 日本科幻电影除非她将东京摧毁Not unless she destroys Tokyo.扯淡Rats.我成功了!I've got it!我终于用基于弦网冷凝物的理论解除了黑洞的信息悖论I finally reconciled the black hole information paradox with my theory of string-network condensates!真是难以置信! 那将改变人们的陈见!It's unbelievable! It's paradigm-altering.多亏了你我才得以完成And I could not have done it without you.噢不用啦我只不过给了你些许鼓励Oh,please,I just offered a little encouragement.绝对不止些许鼓励It was a lot more than that.你帮我解决了大量有关费密子的问题还替我打磨了我的锤头趾You helped me work out the masses of all the fermions and you pumiced my hammer toe. 我要怎么回报你?How can I ever repay you?嗯... 你会把它命名为Cooper-Nowitzki定理吗?Well,would you consider naming it the Cooper-Nowitzki Theorem?谁是Nowitzki? (诺维茨基)Who's Nowitzki?我就是NowitzkiI'm Nowitzki.喔你要我同你分享荣誉?Oh,you want me to share credit?出-去!Get out!噢别烦我!Oh,bite me!好姐妹?Sisters?打扰一下Cooper教授Excuse me,Dr. Cooper.我是Kathy O'BrienI'm Kathy O'Brien.我刚拜读了你的那篇论文有关解除黑洞信息悖论的I just finished reading your paper reconciling the black hole information paradox你用了基于弦网冷凝物的理论真是令人惊叹啊(让我都喘不过气了)with your theory of string - network condensates,and it just took my breath away.也许等它发表的时候我会考虑多加个喷雾器(治哮喘的)Maybe when I publish it,I'll include an inhaler.你会不会正巧有空给我解释解释呢?Would you possibly have any time for me to pick your brain?让我想想今天是星期四Let's see. Today's Thursday.星期四晚上我吃Giacomo餐厅的匹萨Thursday nights,I eat pizza from Giacomo's.要放香肠蘑菇还要一点橄榄油Sausage,mushrooms,light olives.太好了我会买去你家的我有地址Great. I'll bring it to your place. I have the address.真是个好姑娘What a nice girl.Sheldon 你知道刚才怎么回事吗?Sheldon,do you see what just happened here?当然我有免费匹萨吃咯Yes,I'm getting a free pizza.我好运连连喔!I'm on a roll.再来点泰国菜More pad Thai,please.Sheldon 你已经吃了四盒了Sheldon,you've already had four servings. 你该吃慢点伙计小心咽着You might want to slow down a bit,buddy. 就一小口Just one more bite.Sheldon?Sheldon?Sheldon 你还好吧?Sheldon,are you okay?我太... 饱了I'm just so... full.受不鸟了再不吃泰国菜了That's it. No more Thai food.。

Big.Bang.theory笔记S1011. photon 光子2. plane 平面3. slit 裂缝4. There's no point.5. It's a good idea for a t-shirt.6. hang on. 稍等7. Aegean 爱琴海8. Nabokov 俄裔美籍小说家，《Lorita》，不论恋9. a phylum, a family or a species 门、科、种10.Port-au-Prince 太子港（海地Haiti首都）11.high-iq sperm bank12.semi-pro 半职业选手13.genetic 遗传的；起源的14.fraud 欺骗；骗局；诡计；骗子15.there's no guarantee that...16.offspring 子孙，产物，后代17.hostess 女服务员18.Fuddrucker's 快餐店19.fractional 部分的，少量的，碎片的，分数的20.bandwidth 带宽，频宽21.yearn 渴望，怀念，想念22.pin 把...归罪于,把...归咎于23.who's gonna pin her hopes on my sperm. 会把希望寄托在我精子上的24.what if she winds up with a toddler who doesn't know if he should use25.toddler 初学走路的孩子26.wind up 使结束=end upShe wound up her speech with a quotation. 她以一句引言结束她的演讲。

27.integral 积分，整数；整体的，积分的28.differential 差别的，微分的，特定的29.protocol（for doing）n. 议定书, 协议, 处理某问题的方法;草案, 谈判的起草; 礼节, 行为准则;协议, 处理资料传送的标准30.renege (on sth.)/ri'nig/ v.食言; 违约; 背信; 有牌而不跟; 否认, 拒绝, 放弃31.proffer（sperm）提供；贡献；提议32.If the height of a single step is off by as little as two millimeters,most people will trip.33.a series of experiments34.clavicle 锁骨35.boarding school 寄宿学校/doc/bb16077166.html,ser 激光37.evidently 明显地；显然38.significant improvement over the old neighbor39.transvestite [trans'ves·tite |n.异性装扮癖者40.200-pound transvestite with a skin condition41.hall n. 门厅, 会堂, 走廊42.we don't mean to interrupt.we live across the hall.43.heterosexual | ?het?r??'seksl] n.异性恋的人adj.异性的; 异性爱的44.Should we have invited her for lunch?45./doc/bb16077166.html,mentary n.注释, 批评, 评论47.invite someone over 请XX做客 make her feel welcome48.That was wrong of us. 那是我们的不对49.we need to widen our circle.50.that's the beauty of it51.And you say sth appropriate in response52.I know that moving can be stressful53.undergo 遭受，忍受，经历（stress）54.that good food and company can have a comforting effect55.curry 咖喱/doc/bb16077166.html,xative | 'l?ks?t?v] n.泻药, 缓泻药 adj.通便的, 不简洁的57.colon | 'k??l?n] n.结肠58.one less thing to worry about59.luncheon | 'l?nt??n] n.午宴; 正式的午餐 a luncheon invitation60.bowel 肠，同情心61.skip the reference to bowel movements62.masturbate || 'm?st?be?t /-t?rb] v.手淫; 对...行手淫63.this looks like some serious stuff64.quantum [quan·tum ||'kwɑnt?m /'kw?-]n.分配量, 量, 额65.mechanics [m?'k?n?ks]n.力学; 技术性的部分; 机械学; 技术66.quantum mechanics 量子力学67.doodle [doo·dle || 'du?dl]n. 乱写; 蠢人v. 涂鸦, 混时间; 乱涂; 欺骗68.spoof [spu?f]n. 诳骗, 戏弄, 愚弄v. 哄骗; 戏弄…69.approximation [ap·prox·i·ma·tion || ??pr?ks?'me??n]n. 接近; 概算; 近似额; 近似值70.Holy smokes.71.If by"holy smoke", you mean72.derivative [de·riv·a·tive || d?'r?v?t?v]n. 引出之物, 衍生字, 系出物adj. 引出的; 系出的73.restatement [,re'state·ment || ?r??ste?tm?nt]n. 再声明, 重述74.scribble [scrib·ble || 'skr?bl]n. 潦草的写法, 杂文, 潦草写成的东西v. 潦草地书写; 草率地创作; 在...上面乱涂; 潦草书写; 乱涂, 乱画; 草率创作75.Who hasn't seen this differential below "here I sit, broken-hearted"76.dimension [di·men·sion || d?'men?n]n. 维；尺寸, 容积, 次元77.Just make the math come out.78.Do you guys mind if I start.79.That's where I sit.80.Here we go. 开始了81.radiator ['ra·di·a·tor || 're?d?e?t?(r)]n. 暖房装置, 散热器; 辐射体; 冷却器; 发射天线82.In the winter, that seat is close enough to the radiatorTo remain warm, and yet not so close as to cause perspiration.In the summer, it's directly in the path of a cross-breezecreated by opening windows there and there.It faces the television at an angleThat is neither direct, thus discouraging conversationNot so far wide as to create a parallax distortion83.perspiration [per·spi·ra·tion || ?p?rsp?'re??n /?p??-]n. 汗, 努力, 流汗84.breeze [bri?z]n. 微风, 和风#谣传, 传闻; 轻而易举的事; 骚动, 争吵v. 吹着微风; 轻易地通过; 一阵风似地走; 越狱逃走85.cross-breeze86.discourage [dis·cour·age || d?'sk?r?d?]v. 使气馁, 阻碍87.parallax [par·al·la x || 'p?r?l?ks]n. 视差88.distortion [dis·tor·tion || d?'stn]n. 扭曲; 曲解; 变形89."klingon boggle" boggle 拼字游戏90.that has negative social implication91.Sagittarius [Sag·it·ta·ri·us || ?s?d??'te?r??s]n. 射手座; 人马座92.which probably tells you way more than you need to know93.delusion [de·lu·sion || d?'lu??n]n. 迷惑, 错觉, 欺瞒94.relative to 相对于95.arbitrarilyadv. 武断地; 专横地; 任意地96.constellation [con·stel·la·tion || ?k?nst?'le??n]n. 星座, 灿烂的一群97.Scorpio [Scor·pi·o || 'sk??p]n. 天蝎座, 天蝎宫; 蝎属98.Leonard can't process(加工) corn./doc/bb16077166.html,ctose-intolerant100.it takes you 4 years to get through your high school。

闻到没?Smell that?新漫画书的味道That's the smell of new comic books.哥们今儿个都算我账上They're on me today,boys.你付钱?You're paying?你又卖精子了?Have you been selling your sperm again?不庆祝下No,I'm celebrating.我们说话这当儿航天飞机正对接国际空间站As we speak,the space shuttle is docking at the International Space Station其采用了Wolowitz零重力废物处理系统where it will deploy the Wolowitz Zero-Gravity Waste Disposal System.少臭美了不过是高科技厕所Get over yourself. It's a high-tech toilet.想想吧多亏了你的付出一飞船的国际宇航员Just think. Thanks to your hard work,an international crew of astronauts都能"大胆去往无人探索的地方"will "boldly go where no man has gone before."- 你这是搞笑咩? - 我想是的- Is that supposed to be funny? - I believe it is.引用星际迷航的话来玩"去"和"冲"的文字游戏The combination of the Star Trek reference and the play on words involving the double-meaning of the verb "to go"表示Leonard在幽默的嘲笑你对宇航管道装置下的良苦用心suggests that Leonard is mocking your efforts in space plumbing.好啦笑你们的吧Okay,make your little jokes,但四个人中只有我对科技做出了实际贡献but of the four of us,I'm the only one making any real-world contribution to science and technology.他说的对基于两点原因这是一项重大的成果He's right. This is an important achievement,for two reasons.第一...Number one...还有当然了第二!and,of course,number two!行啊你!Clever!用基数词做文章来委婉表达人体机能Playing on the use of cardinal numbers as euphemisms for bodily functions.来Sheldon 给你新的地狱男孩Here,Sheldon,I pulled the new Hellboy for you.绝对大跌眼镜It's mind-blowing.你咋回事啊Excuse me.剧透啦Spoiler alert.我啥也没透啊I didn't spoil anything.你都说会大跌眼镜了You told me it's mind-blowing.所以我看之前眼镜就提前跌了So,my mind is going into it pre-blown.提前跌完就不能够再跌了And once a mind is pre-blown,it cannot be re-blown.对不起了I'm sorry.扫兴鬼对圣诞节如是说(苏斯博士书中搅乱圣诞节的角色)Said the Grinch to Christmas.- 嘿Leonard 咱谈谈成吗? - 行啊啥事?- Can I talk to you about something? - What's up?记得几周前我和你朋友Penny约会不?Remember I went out with Penny,a couple weeks ago?- 嗯记不太清了- 才怪嘞- Yeah,vaguely. - Sure you remember.那晚你去酒吧自欺欺人打算把陌生美眉You went to the bar and made a fool of yourself trying to pick up strange women.咋了呢?What about it?是这样约会不太成功The thing is,the date didn't go that well.真遗憾Too bad.我想现在你该站起来振作一下忘记此事向前看I guess the thing to do now is just pick yourself up,dust yourself off,forget it and move on. - 不行的- 有啥不行的吧?- I can't do that. - Why the hell not?因为明晚我们又要约会了'Cause we're going out again tomorrow.打扰下StuartExcuse me,Stuart.- 看了最新的闪电侠没? - 没有Have you read the new Flash?我看完了这期会赞得你下巴都掉下来的Well,I have and it will knock your socks off!祝你能把它推回去Good luck getting them back on.总之这是我和Penny的最后机会了我不想搞砸了This is probably my last shot with Penny and I don't want to screw it up.谁想搞砸啊Nobody wants that.所以我的问题就来了第二次约会So,here's my question: It's the second date,你觉得她会不会想来点...身体接触?you think she'll be expecting things to get physical?哎呀...Gee...我第一反应是"不想"My initial reaction is "no,"但还是让我想想吧回来告诉你but let me think about it and get back to you.那你打给我?So,you'll give me a call?- 嗯你打给我也成- 好- Yeah,or you call me. - Great.谁也不给谁打更成Or nobody calls anyone.有点意思Interesting.Penny的现追求者向前追求者取经Penny's current suitor asking advice from her former suitor.谢谢你解说我的痛楚RajYou know,thanks for closed-captioning my pain,Raj.嘿想既不让他和Penny有进展又不妨碍你和他俩的友情吗Hey,wanna make sure he gets nowhere with Penny without jeopardizing your friendship with either of them?洗耳恭听I'm listening.让他做过去两年来你和她做的事Just tell him to do everything you've done with her for the last two years.- 嘿Leonard - 哦嗨- Hi Leonard -Oh hi- 怎么样? - 蛮好蛮好你呢?- How's it going? - Good,good.- You?挺好的Fine.问你点事好不?Can I ask you something?好呀Sure.- 记得你朋友Stuart哈? - 嗯You know your friend Stuart?他又约我出去我答应了He asked me out again and I said yes,然后寻思着我似乎应该现跟你谈谈and then I started thinking maybe I should talk to you first.谈啥?About what?你会介意不我跟你朋友约会?Does it bother you,me going out with one of your friends?因为那啥嘛你和我...'Cause you know,you and me...不会啦那都老黄历了No,that's the past.我可是那种更计较现在的人I'm really more of a "right now" kind of guy.懂吧活在当下You know,living in the moment.虽说我的确需要关注未来因为我的工作嘛Although I do have to live a little in the future,'cause that's my job.当然啦我对经典科幻小说的喜爱会把我的焦点拉回一点点Of course,my fondness for classic science fiction does draw my attention backwards, 但那些故事常常发生在未来嘛but those stories often take place in the future.总之了我不介意In conclusion,no,it doesn't bother me.好你能这样想真好Okay,well,that's really cool of you.不是啥好不好的要我说是"Leonard就是这种人嘛!"I wouldn't say cool. I'd just say... "That's Leonard!"既然酱紫那你能给点啥建议不?In that case,do you mind giving me some advice?Stuart的?About Stuart?原意啊Love to.他很害羞He's very shy.怎么能让他在我身边自在点?How do I make him feel more comfortable around me?首先不要低估不自在的价值First of all,don't underestimate the value of discomfort.真的呀?Really?Stuart在压力下爆发Stuart thrives under pressure.所以他在漫画书店工作嘛That's why he works in a comic book store.是StuartIt's Stuart.你不打算接?You're not going to answer it?他想谈Penny的事我不想谈PennyHe wants to talk about Penny. I don't want to talk about Penny.你的假设而已啊You're making an assumption.或许是漫画书店着火了呢Perhaps the comic book store is on fire.他需要你的帮助And he needs your assistance.那打给我干啥?Why would he call me?不知道呀We don't know.你要是不接电话呢我们也知道不了And if you don't answer the phone,we can't know.我才不要接电话I'm not answering the phone.接电话LeonardAnswer the phone,Leonard.好啦转接语音信箱啦There,it went to voice mail.你不读你的信息吗?Aren't you going to check your messages?不要NO你必须读下信息Leonard!You have to check your messages!既然留信息那就要读信息才能实现这一社会契约The living of a message is one half of a social contract which is completed by the checking of the message.如果这契约破碎了If that contract breaks down,那所有社会契约都会破碎我们会陷入混乱状态then all social contracts break down and we descend into anarchy.你脑子里一定纠结死了吧It must be hell inside your head.偶尔At times.伙计们我们有紧急情况了Guys,we have a code red.紧急情况是指医院紧急警报? 电脑病毒?"Code Red" the hospital emergency alert,the computer worm,还是Mountain Dew做的樱桃味饮料?or the cherry-flavored soft drink from the makers of Mountain Dew?听着我在看我零重力厕所的图纸Look,I was going over the schematics on my zero-G toilet,发现在分流阀的设计上犯了一个小小的错误and I made a teeny tiny mistake on the specifications for the diverter valve .有多小?How teeny tiny?冲10次水差不多就挂了It's gonna fail after about ten flushes.- 但这任务是要持续6个月的- 对啊这就是紧急情况- But the mission is for six months. - See,that's the code red.这有点像小丑盒子It's kind of like a jack-in-the-box.没有人知道具体时间但不定时的No one knows exactly when,but at some point会有比玩偶更糟糕的东西从那盒子里喷出来something way worse than a puppet is gonna pop out of that box.你给NASA报告了吗?Have you notified NASA?你疯了吗? 我要怎么说?Are you crazy? What am I gonna say?"我把你们的厕所搞砸了以后会有大便漂浮在"I screwed up your toilet and there's gonna be crap floating你们那整洁明亮的空间站里?""all over your nice shiny space station"?你要怎么办?What are you gonna do?我要弄清楚怎么修然后再告诉他们I'm gonna figure out how to fix it,then I'll tell them.那你需要我们做什么呢?So,what do you need us for?他弄不清楚怎么修He can't figure out how to fix it.你说你会支持我的You said you were gonna be supportive.我是啊但你得承认这太他妈好笑了I'm trying,but you have to admit this is pretty damn funny.我同意I agree.这关系到太空爆炸的高科技特性It's the juxtaposition of the high-tech nature of space exploration和厕所故障的平凡特性的对立against the banality of a malfunctioning toilet这是个喜剧素材哦that provides the comic fodder here.快读你的信息Check your messages.好的这就是了All right,this is an exact duplicateWolowitz零重力人类废物处理系统的复制品of the Wolowitz Zero-Gravity Human Waste Disposal System为国际空间站设计as deployed on the International Space Station.你的意思不是Wolowitz 零重力人类废物排放系统吧?Don't you mean the Wolowitz Zero-Gravity Human Waste Distribution System? 这不错Good one.太好笑了现在...It's hilarious. Now...这里有空间站里Here's an approximation有可能找到的所有零件of the spare parts available on the Space Station.我们要想出一个方法只用这些We gotta find a way,using nothing but this,来改造这个那样废物就能避开旋转的涡轮机了to reinforce this so the waste material avoids the spinning turbine.你是说那样就碰不到风扇了?You mean so it doesn't hit the fan?我得说I have to say,我想这厕所幽默再说下去就不这么好笑了I thought the toilet humor would get less funny with repetition.很显然没有法律规定要减少带太空大便返回嘛Apparently,there is no law of diminishing comedic returns with space poop.- 嘿Leonard - 嘿Stuart- Hi Leonard - Hi Stuart你有空吗?You busy?要保密哦LeonardClassified,Leonard.嗯这可是个曼哈顿工程啊(二战期间美国原子弹秘密工程) Yeah,it's a regular Manhattan Project.什么事?What's up?今晚我要和Penny约会Tonight's my date with Penny因为我们没能用电话联系上and since we haven't been able to connect by phone...抱歉电话坏了I'm sorry,it's been broken.- 电邮也不行- 对那也是所有东西都坏了- Or e-mail. - Yeah,that too. Everything's broken.总之我只是想知道你有没有什么最后的建议Anyway,I was just wondering if you had any last-minute advice.好的眼下我能想到的就是All right,well,off the top of my head,和Penny在一起最重要的事就是要慢一点I think the most important thing with Penny is to go really slow. 我是说冷淡I mean,glacial.追她的男人多的是所以你得把自己和他们区别开Guys come onto her all the time,so,you need to set yourself apart. 害羞一点Be a little shy,不要做太多眼神接触don't make too much eye contact.把她当作外人一样对待And,you know,treat her with,like,cool detachment还有... 害怕and-and,you know,fear.- 害怕? - 对就像- Fear? - Yeah,like,你会怕如果你碰她一下她会碎那样you're afraid that if you touch her,she'll break.哦这我还蛮擅长的Well,that plays right into my wheelhouse.好好的你俩今晚玩好啊Good,good. You kids have fun tonight.谢了LeonardThanks,Leonard.那东西到底是啥?What is that thing anyway?你不知道这是什么?You don't know what this is?好的滚出去Good. Get out.要害怕PennyBe afraid of Penny.不错哦相当狡猾Nice. Very crafty.这建议也不是搅局只是没有那么有用而已It wasn't bad advice. It's just wasn't particularly helpful.不管怎样我妈妈说过For what it's worth,my mother says that when we deceive for personal gain, we make Jesus cry. 当我们为了个人利益去骗人时我们会把耶稣弄哭的好的如果我们用这两英尺的聚氯乙烯All right,what if we use this two-inch PVC- 来改造中心支撑结构怎样? - 不行- to reinforce the center cross-support? - No good.那可能会对日本人和美国人有用It might work for the Japanese and the Americans,但你见过他们弄上去的俄罗斯人的块头吗?but have you seen the size of the Russians they got up there?这东西得能撑住一餐丰盛的土豆大餐This thing has to hold up against a hearty potato-based diet.我感觉很糟糕I feel terrible.如果你能帮忙的话可能你会感觉好一点Maybe if you were helping,you'd feel better about yourself.我故意破坏Stuart和Penny的约会I deliberately tried to sabotage Stuart's date with Penny.你当然会感觉很糟糕啦因果轮回要糟报应了Of course you feel terrible. You completely screwed up your karma.你不会真的相信那鬼话吧?You don't really believe in that superstition,do you?这不是迷信这其实是在信仰牛顿(牛顿也是神学专家)It's not superstition. It's practically Newtonian.对于每个动作都有一个平等的对立的反应For every action,there's an equal and opposite reaction.Leonard假装是朋友而实际上则是个两面的贱人Leonard pretends to be a friend and acts like a two-faced bitch.所以他会转世投胎成一个香蕉蛞蝓Therefore,he is reborn as a banana slug.这其实是个很好的系统对吧一报还一报It's actually a very elegant system. You know,what goes around comes around.说到一报还一报...Speaking of what goes around comes around...好的听着Okay,look.与其试着改造这东西的结构Instead of trying to reinforce this structure here,还不如我们扯出一条线来完全回避它what if we just ran another line,bypass it entirely?这没用的管道的直径不够It won't work. The diameter of the tubing is insufficient.那换换集污舱的位置怎么样?What if we reposition the collection tank?没用的没法安装It won't work. No way to mount it.好吧我有个主意我们改名换姓然后去Okay,here's an idea. What if I change my name and go live以色列和我的表亲和她丈夫Avi一起住怎么样?with my cousin and her husband,Avi,in Israel?倒是一招That could work.- 早上好- 早上好什么事?- Morning. - Morning. What's up?没我们只是在熬夜修一个零重力...Nothing. We just pulled an all-nighter trying to fix a zero-gravity...意粉机pasta maker.我正要去煮咖啡你要吗?I'm gonna make a coffee run. Do you want any?谢啦我自己有No,thanks. I have coffee.好的昨晚跟Stuart怎么样?Great. So how'd it go with Stuart last night?不堪回首啊I really don't want to talk about it.是啊没错当然Yeah. Right. Sure.但是呢你们出门之前The thing is,before you guys went out,我俩有过谈话...I spoke to him and...我说了我不想回首I said I don't want to talk about it.我只是...有点...I just... I kind of...我俩的事与你无关What goes on between me and Stuart is none of your business.别八卦了行吗?So just leave it alone,okay?要想下辈子投好胎就给我煮杯拿铁去If you want to clean up your karma,go get my freakin' latte.等下我找到了这个看看能否...Hang on,I think I've got this. Help me see if we can wedge把这块PVC楔进载体棒后面this little piece of PVC behind the support rod.你高估了你做的基础部分的抗张强度You're overestimating the tensile strength of the substructure you're building.Sheldon 我知道自己在干什么Sheldon,I know what I'm doing.如果你知道那这放咖啡桌的地方If you knew what you were doing,there wouldn't be a space toilet就不该摆着你的太空厕所where my coffee table should be.Howard 等等Howard,wait.为什么不用这个代替PVCWhy don't you use this instead of the PVC来保持横向滤波器装配到位呢?to keep the transverse filter assembly in place?这又不是太空站的部件Because this is not a spare part from the space station.这是比萨饼盒子里的This is the thing from the pizza box为了不让奶酪粘在盒子上that keeps the lid from touching the cheese.干这个用的? 在印度奶酪就会粘盒子啊That what that's for? In India,the lid touches the cheese.当然了印度那么穷还经常爆发霍乱Of course,we also have rampant poverty and periodic outbreaks of cholera, 所以盒子粘上奶酪也不算啥so a little cardboard in our cheese is no biggie.- 你要去哪? - 漫画店- Where are you going? - Comic book store.好主意我也要休息下An excellent idea! I could certainly use a break.- 我也是- 等宇航员能安全排便了- Me,too. - You can go to the comic book store你们才能去漫画店when man can once again safely poop in space.为什么Leonard能去?Why does Leonard get to go?因为Penny的事搞得他心烦意乱'Cause he's upset over his situation with Penny如果他再讲一遍我就扁死他and if I have to hear about it again,I'm going to kick him in his ovaries. - 感谢理解Howard - 我支持你好姐妹- Thanks for understanding,Howard. - I got your back,sister.好了要模拟实验一下了All right,I think we've got a prototype ready to test.把那塑料盒给我Hand me that Tupperware.好沉啊That's heavy.当然沉了这是我妈做的肉馅糕Damn right it's heavy. It's my mother's meat loaf.一直是我测试厕所的道具It's been testing toilets for generations.容我说一句I must say,如果跟麻省理工汇报下你现在的详细情况I think a detailed letter to MIT describing your current circumstances 你的硕士学位就飞鸟might entitle you to a refund on your master's degree.好了模拟零重力人类废物处理实验Okay,simulated zero-gravity human waste disposal test放入肉馅糕模拟物...with meat loaf analog in...三二一three,two,one.好赞Fascinating.你觉得问题在哪?What do you think the problem is?面包渣太少了Not enough bread crumbs.Stuart 咱俩要谈谈Hey,Stuart,I need to talk to you.- 好啊怎么了? - Penny的事我帮倒忙了- Sure,what's up? - I gave you bad advice about Penny,- 我想道歉- 没你的建议挺好啊- and I want to apologize. - No,your advice was great.- 啊? - 是啊慢慢来很管用- It was? - Yeah,going slow really worked.开玩笑吧You're kidding.在我身上就不管用Never worked for me.昨晚吃饭时我按你说的做了Last night at dinner,I did what you told me.放慢速度保持距离I went really slow,I kept my distance,两杯酒下肚我俩就去车里嘿咻了and two bottles of wine later,we were making out in my car. 酒? 我没说给她喝酒啊Wine? I didn't say to give her wine.这不是重点糟糕的事才开始It doesn't matter,that's where it all went to hell.接吻时很糟糕?During the kissing?在她嘴里打喷嚏了? 我对别的姑娘那样过What did you do,sneeze in her mouth? I did that to a girl once. 没都挺好挺火辣的No,everything was good and really hot.然后我说And I said,"哦Penny""Oh,Penny,"而她本该说"哦Stuart" 但她说了...and right where she was supposed to say,"Oh,Stuart," she said... 你的名字your name.Leonard?Leonard这是你的名字吧?That is your name,right?不好意思啊你最不想听见这个了吧I'm sorry. That must've been the last thing you wanted to hear. 还不如"你知道我是爷们儿吧?"It beats,"You know I'm a dude,right?"是啊糟糕死了Yeah,it was pretty bad.必然的必然的No doubt,no doubt.不好意思结果这么糟I'm sorry it didn't work out.不是你的错Not your fault.可不是嘛Yeah,how about that?- 回头见- 嗯了- See you soon. - Sure.是的我明白这是机密Yes,sir,I understand "classified."天知地知你知我知{\c no one has to know but you and me.啥机密?What's classified?Howard的太空厕所回头慢慢跟你说Howard's space toilet. I'll tell you later.他们应用了我们的补救方案Well,they've deployed our solution.希望起作用Let's just all hope it works.不知道我为啥要担心I don't see why I have to worry.又不是我的事业悬而未决My career's not hanging in the balance.开玩笑呢That was a joke.很好笑It's funny,因为这是事实because it's true.Leonard 把酱油给我好吗?Leonard,could you pass the soy sauce,please? 你是跟我说话呢吗?I'm sorry,were you talking to me?是啊我叫的是"Leonard"Yeah,I said "Leonard."没错嘛是不是?Yes,you did,didn't you?那是什么鬼东西?What the hell is that?肉馅糕Meatloaf.怎么跑天花板上去了?What was it doing on the ceiling?这是机密That's classified.国际空间站休斯顿这里是国际空间站Houston,International Space Station.我们这有点小状况We have a little situation up here.我们要临时安排一次太空行走We'd like to make an unscheduled space walk.国际空间站这里是休斯顿I.S.S.,Houston.将有哪些成员出舱?Which crew members would be involved in this E.V.A.? 我们都想出舱走走Houston,we'd all like to step outside for a few minutes. 这将不予批准I.S.S.,I'm afraid we can't authorize that.其实我们只是通知一下Houston,this is more of an FYI call.我们已经被迫出舱了We are basically out the door.好家伙的。

先生们我告诉你们哟Gentlemen,I put it to you:最难吃西米布丁也好过其他口味优质布丁the worst tapioca pudding is better than the best pudding of any other flavor.首先明眼人都知道这话错的因为最好的布丁是巧克力口味First off,that is axiomatically wrong because the best pudding is chocolate.其次西米的有机结构使布丁黏糊糊摇晃晃有潜在致命危险Secondly,the organic structure of tapioca makes it a jiggling bowl of potential death.是从植物里提取...It is extracted from the plant...嘿我在考虑留点胡子Hey,I'm thinking of growing a mustache.不是吧?No kidding?傅满洲那样的? 八字胡又尖又长?Fu Manchu,a handlebar,pencil?- 是从植物中提取- 还没想好呢- It's extracted from the plant. - I'm not sure yet.乔治·克鲁尼现在也留胡子呢You know,George Clooney has one now.真的? 我看到过他在Ralphs超市买龙舌兰酒Really? I once saw him shopping at Ralph's. He was buying tequila.你以为他们会有仆人跑腿买酒吗?You'd think a guy like that would have some kind of booze lackey.好啦太残忍了All right,this is cruel.我们还是让他说完不然人家要爆头了We'd better let him finish before his head explodes.好吧Sheldon 为啥西...All right,Sheldon,why is tap...西米由食用木薯根茎提取而成Tapioca is extracted from the root of the plant manihot esculenta!由于富含高浓度的氰化物Due to a high concentration of cyanide,其本身有毒性如加工不当即食用会致命it is poisonous in its raw form and lethal if prepared improperly!现在爽了吧?Feel better now?同时可可豆也是巴西的从中能提取巧克力做最好的布丁It is also indigenous to Brazil as is the coa bean,from which we get chocolate,the best pudding. 求你们别再耍我了!And you promised you wouldn't do that anymore!嘿HofstadterHey,Hofstadter.嘿KripkeHey,Kripke.听说你最新的反质子衰变实验了Heard about your latest anti-proton decay experiment.收集两万数据却没啥有用的结果20,000 data runs and no statistically significant results.灰常了得Very impressive.蠢货一个What a jerk.别气馁Leonard 没用的结果也是结果Don't feel bad,Leonard. Negative results are still results.- 就算两万又算啥- 行啦!- Even 20,000 of them. - All right!求你们别在给我打气了Please don't cheer me up anymore.别呀不要让他打击到你Kripke哪根葱Come on. Don't let him get to you. It's Kripke.对呀大蠢蛋一个Yeah,he's a ginormous knob.所以他孤单用餐而不能坐到这酷酷的桌子来That's why he eats by himself instead of sitting here at the cool table.说得对呀For shizzle.确实啊Kripke确实缺乏咱固有的那种基本社交技巧It's true Kripke lacks the basic social skills that we take for granted.但他还操控着新的开放科学网格计算机But he also controls the new open science grid computer而我需要它来模拟宇宙早期的结构形态that I need to use to run some simulations of structure formation in the early universe. 看你有没有那命用上吧Well,good luck getting time on it.他可只让他的朋友使用The only people he lets use it are his friends.那解决办法很简单嘛Well,then,the solution is simple.我去和他做朋友I shall befriend him.Kripke!Kripke!啥事?Yeah?你觉得我们交个朋友如何?What would you say to the idea of you and I becoming friends?我觉得木有啥兴趣哟I would say I have no interest in becoming your friend.当真?Really?你个里里外外不受欢迎的家伙目光还真是相当短浅呀That seems rather shortsighted coming from someone who is generally considered altogether unlikable.不如重新考虑下吧?Why don't you take some time to reconsider?行呀我去想想Yeah,I'll do that.看来咱这开局不错啊Well,I think we're off to a terrific start.好了There you go.现在所有Wolowitz发来的邮件都会直接进入垃圾箱Now any e-mail from Wolowitz will go right into your spam folder.多谢其实骚扰邮件倒没啥他穿浴衣的度假照比较雷人Thanks. I mean,the e-mail doesn't bother me as much as the vacation pictures of him in a bathingsuit.是呀我也收到了那可不是浴衣是晒痕Yeah,I got the same one,and that's not a bathing suit. It's a tan line.你好我是Sheldon CooperHello,this is Sheldon Cooper.这是给Barry Kripke的留言I am leaving a message for Barry Kripke.Barry 很高兴在食堂与你邂逅Barry,it was pleasant seeing you today in the cafeteria.我注意到你买了推荐沙拉I saw that you purchased the chef's salad.显然你不知道推荐沙拉是食堂的杂碎肉骗人把戏Apparently,you did not know that the chef's salad is kitchen trickery to utilize scrap meat.不过呢我希望你用餐愉快Nevertheless,I hope you enjoyed it.我在追踪待定友谊的发展状况期待你来电给它定位哟I'm following up on our pending friendship and I look forward to hearing from you regarding itsstatus.我是Sheldon CooperSheldon Cooper.胆小发明家又咋了?What's up with Ichabod?他在交友呢Uh,he's trying to make a new friend.真的? 不错嘛Oh,really? Well,good for him.除非他像杰佩托做出皮诺曹不然没戏的Well,unless he makes one out of wood like Geppetto,I don't think it's gonna happen. 那你们咋成为朋友的?How did you guys become friends?大学公告板上的一张传单There was a flyer on the bulletin board at the university:"招募室友吹口哨的勿扰""Roommate wanted.Whistlers need not apply."你就搬进去了?And you moved in anyway?我以为他说着玩的I assumed he was joking.你绝对想不到有多少量子物理学家都有反复无常的一面You'd be surprised how many particle physicists have a whimsical side.Howard和Raj呢? 我是说他咋和他们好上的?What about Howard and Raj? I mean,how did he become friends with them?不知道碳原子是如何构成苯环的?I don't know. How do carbon atoms form a benzene ring?价电子亲近Proximity and valence electrons.是呀你这样说也是哈Well,sure,when you put it that way.但相处的也不错是吧But it all worked out,right?差不多吧尽管我很怀念口哨I suppose. I do miss whistling,though.不是吧?Oh,come on. Really?警告一次First warning.Penny Penny PennyPenny? Penny? Penny?给你的This is for you.你好SheldonHello,Sheldon.这是啥?What is this?我设计的调查表It's a questionnaire I devised.我和一位同事交友遇到点困难I'm having some difficulty bonding with a colleague at work所以我想做些小调查更好的了解为什么我目前的朋友们喜欢我so I'm doing a little research to better understand why my current friends like me.嗯这个问题值得考虑Yes,well,that is a good question.但你确定这是最好的办法了?But is this really the best way to figure it out?问得好社会学家很大程度是忽悠I agree. The social sciences are largely hokum.但又不能插一个电极到你的大脑探测你对我友谊问题的反应But short of putting electrodes in your brain and monitoring your response to my companionship, 就这方法还凑合了this is the best I can do.好"问题1: 按吸引力程度给Sheldon Cooper以下各方面排序Okay,"Question one: "Rank the following aspects of Sheldon Cooper "in order of appeal:"聪明洁癖有趣Java程序编写?"{\cruthless attention to hygiene;playfulness; JA V A applet writing"?也许头一个问题答案过分明显{\c谁不知道我最吸引人的特质之一有趣an aspect of my most appealing trait: playfulness.你直接把它排到1号吧Why don't you just go ahead and rank that number one?恐怕剩下的我不能指导你了I'm afraid you're on your own for the rest.用不了三个小时就可以完成It should take you no more than three hours.等下这玩意儿有多少个问题呀?Well,wait. How many questions are on this thing?区区211个Only 211.别担心为了照顾你这份高中毕业就能读懂Don't worry. In deference to you,I kept them all at a high school graduate reading level.还得谢你哥们儿Thanks,pal.客气啥...姐们儿You got it... buddy.Sheldon 亲爱的你有没有考虑过通过让人开心来交友啊?Sheldon,honey,did you ever consider making friends by being,I don't know,pleasant?那当然是一个发人深思的假设Well,that's certainly a thought-provoking hypothesis.我看你论文写这题目好了May I suggest it as the topic for your essay?你的调查问卷十分让人失望呀Your questionnaire,very disappointing.我逢题必答呀SheldonI answered every question,Sheldon.你选择题很有规律嘛You answered the multiple choice questions in a pattern:A B B A C A B B A CA- B-A-C.A- B-A-C.你发现了哈Oh,you picked up on that,huh?我怎么会发现不了?How could I not?行行好超过200个问题Come on. There's over 200 questions.看有些问题吧And look at some of these things."Sheldon之于友谊如同太空梭之于什么?""Sheldon is to camaraderie as the space shuttle is to blank?"这里有些适合的答案呀There are a number of acceptable answers.例如C近地运输机For example,Near-Earth transport."但绝对不是B鳄梨种植工But certainly not Avocado rancher."你在论文里还说等到赛昂人接管地球我在交友方面会更有运气And your essay suggesting that I'd have better luck making friends if I wait till the Cylons takeover?请别Please.等等那篇我可是认真写的Now hold on. I put some real work into that.是呀可比Wolowitz好多了Yes,well,it's better than what Wolowitz did.他画了一个大阴囊的发情浣熊He drew a raccoon with what appears to be a distended scrotum.还真有点可爱哟It's kinda cute.只要不看它那玩意儿Until you get to the scrotum.我怎么会有希望建立新的友情关系?What hope do I have for establishing new relationships given that现存的朋友们都舍不得用他们漫长生命的少许小时来帮助我my current friends apparently could not take a few hours out of their lives to help me? Sheldon 我没打算为大蛋蛋浣熊说话Sheldon,I'm not going to defend a big-balled raccoon.我看不出你能做到Well,I don't see how you could.我想说的是或许你不能把这些当作纯粹智力习题来对待What I'm trying to say is that maybe you can't approach this as a purely intellectual exercise. 你什么意思?What do you mean?还记得你怎么在网上学游泳吗?Well,remember when you tried to learn how to swim using the Internet?我是学过游泳Ididlearn how to swim.在地板上学的On the floor.技巧是相通的The skills are transferable.我只是不想到水里去I just have no interest in going in the water.那你为啥要学游泳呀?Then why learn how to swim?冰盖在融化呀LeonardThe ice caps are melting,Leonard.未来游泳是不可避免的In the future,swimming isn't going to be optional.但你给了我灵感But you do bring up an interesting point.我用不着做新的研究I don't have to break new ground here.肯定很多研究结果是现存的I'm sure much of the research already exists.不不我想说的是如果你想学如何交友No,no,my point is,if you want to learn how to make friends,到咖啡店或者博物馆去then just go out to a coffee shop or a museum.认识些人和他们交流Meet people. Talk to them.了解下人家的生活Take an interest intheirlives.疯了呗That's insane on the face of it.- 走吧- 我们去哪儿?- Come on. - Where are we going?你载我去卖场You're driving me to the mall.我要去买本现存交友领域的理论大全I'm going to acquire a book that summarizes the current theories in the field of friend-making. 你干嘛不直接躺地上游过去呢?Why don't you just lie down on the floor and swim there?Coping with the Death of a Loved One.- 节哀顺变- 感谢你- My condolences. - Thank you.- 家人还是朋友? - 家人- Family or friend? - Family.太遗憾了Too bad.如果是朋友我刚好可以填补空缺If it had been a friend,I'm available to fill the void.没关系她满身卫生球味道It's just as well. She smelled like mothballs.好吧要是你在这嗅人玩我去买点热脆饼Okay,if you're gonna start sniffing people,I'm gonna go get a hot pretzel.劳驾Excuse me.有交友的书吗?Do you have any books about making friends?嗯有但都是写给小孩子的Um,yeah,but they're all for little kids.我想技巧可以推断道理相通嘛I assume the skills can be extrapolated and transferred.可能吧就在木火车那边I guess. They're right over there by the wooden train set.我爱火车I love trains.你当然喜欢了I bet you do.哎呀还真粘Oh,my,that's awfully sticky.好了我来瞧瞧哈...All right,let's see...Bernie Bunny Has Two Daddies Now.估计是同志兔子的故事That's probably about homosexual rabbits.Gerry the Gerbil and the Bullies on the Bus.读过了没啥用Read it. Not helpful.哦有了Oh,here we go.Stu the Cockatoo Is New at the Zoo.Sarah Carpenter作现与其爱人朋友Mark以及鹦鹉斯图"Author Sarah Carpenter lives in Fort Wayne,Indiana居住于印第安纳州韦恩堡"with her husband and best friend,Mark,and their cockatoo Stu."没有点交友专家的样子你说是吧?Hardly makes her an expert in making friends,wouldn't you agree?我不喜欢鸟类它们多吓人I don't like birds. They scare me.我也是诶Me,too.很多人都意识不到Most people don't see it.你读啥呢?What are you reading?Curious George.哦猴子我可喜欢Oh,I do like monkeys.好奇乔治就是猴子Curious George is a monkey.算是人格化的但没错Somewhat anthropomorphized,but yes.或许啥时候咱俩去看个猴子呗你觉得好不?Say,maybe sometime you and I could go see monkeys together. Would you like that? 好哇Okay.Sheldon 你干嘛呢?Sheldon,what are you doing?我和这小女孩交朋友呢你叫什么名字?I'm making friends with this little girl. What's your name?RebeccaRebecca.嗨Rebecca 我是你的新朋友SheldonHi,Rebecca. I'm your new friend,Sheldon.不别搞了走吧No,you're not. Let's go.- 我俩聊得正投机呢- 别抬头上面有摄像头- We were really hitting it off. - Don't look up. There's cameras.我想知道哈在"你有多了解Sheldon"那项********the "How well do you know Sheldon" section,他最喜欢的氨基酸你们填的啥?what did you put for his favorite amino acid?- 赖氨酸- 赖氨酸- Lysine. - Lysine.完了我本来写了赖氨酸又改了Damn it,I had lysine and changed it.太好了时间刚刚好Oh,good,you're just in time.我想我解开了交友解题步骤I believe I've isolated the algorithm for making friends.Sheldon 交友哪有解题步骤啊Sheldon,there is no algorithm for making friends.得了听他讲完要是真有啥发现Well,hear him out. If he's really onto something,咱就在动漫大会上弄个展台赚他一笔we could open a booth at Comic-Con.Make a fortune.是这样我最初和Kripke搭话就跟See,my initial approach to Kripke had the same deficiencies鹦鹉斯图刚到公园时一样有着缺陷as those that plagued Stu the Cockatoo when he was new at the zoo.鹦鹉斯图?Stu the Cockatoo?没错他是动物园新成员Yes. He's new at the zoo.超赞的书It's a terrific book.我摘录它的精华制作了流程图来指导我I've distilled its essence into a simple flow chart that will guide me through the process. 有没有考虑过出门时把他装进大木箱里?Have you thought about putting him in a crate while you're out of the apartment?你好Kripke? 我是Sheldon CooperHello,Kripke? Sheldon Cooper here.我想到哈你没回我的电话It occurred to me that you hadn't returned any of my calls是因为我没为发展友情提出实际建议because I hadn't offered any concrete suggestions for pursuing our friendship.或许咱俩该一起吃个饭Perhaps the two of us might share a meal together.了解I see.那有没有时间喝个热饮?Well,then perhaps you'd have time for a hot beverage?最受欢迎的有茶咖啡可可Popular choices include tea,coffee,cocoa.了解了解别先别挂I see. No,no,no,wait. Don't hang up yet.那娱乐娱乐怎么样呢?What about a recreational activity?我们肯定有共同爱好I bet we share some common interests.说说你有啥兴趣爱好Tell me an interest of yours.真的呀? 骑真马?Really? On actual horses?再说个兴趣爱好Tell me another interest of yours.抱歉不到逼不得已我才不下水游泳I'm sorry. I have no desire to get in the water till I absolutely have to. 再说个兴趣爱好Tell me another interest of yours.哦这问题要无限循环下去了Uh-oh,he's stuck in an infinite loop.我来搞定I can fix it.有意思但口技不是个人娱乐项目吗?Interesting,but isn't ventriloquism by definition a solo activity?再说个兴趣爱好Yeah. Tell me another interest of yours.你喜不喜欢猴子呀?Is there any chance you like monkeys?你咋回事嘛? 人人都喜欢猴子What is wrong with you? Everybody likes monkeys.别挂KripkeHang on,Kripke.没办法时选择不太讨厌的项目A loop counter and an escape to the least objectionable activity. Howard 聪明啊Howard,that's brilliant.你居然想到了I'm surprised you saw that.天呀Sheldon咋交不到朋友呢?Gee,why can't Sheldon make friends?好了Kripke 你刚说那兴趣爱好是我不太讨厌的All right,Kripke,that last interest strikes me as the least objectionable, 我提议咱一起去玩and I would like to propose that we do that together.明天Tomorrow.是的我付钱好的拜拜Yes,I'll pay. All right,good-bye.好啦该学学攀岩了All right. Time to learn rock climbing.要知道我超喜欢口技哟You know,I am a fan of ventriloquism.要不你我还有你的小假人去喝个热饮Maybe you,me and your dummy could go get a hot beverage.你喝时他表演He could talk while you drink.不鸟我想攀岩Nope. I wanna climb some rocks.这家伙比在电脑上看起来大啊This appears significantly more monolithic than it did on my laptop.想看原始人怎么用骨头当武器呢One expects to see hominids learning to use bones as weapons.你恐高啊Cooper?You afraid of heights,Cooper?哪能啊恐高完全不合理Hardly. A fear of heights is illogical.然而害怕掉下来才是有发展眼光的说法A fear of falling,on the other hand,is prudent and evolutionary.你说要巩固我们的友情我最少要爬多高呀?What would you say is the minimum altitude I need to achieve to cement our newfound friendship?好啦这开生日会呢小盆友都爬Come on,they have birthday parties here. Little kids climb this.小原始人吧Little kid hominids perhaps.你工作就干这点事啊? 父母一定很骄傲哈So is this your entire job? Your parents must be so proud.- 来啊Cooper - 来了Kripke- Let's go,Cooper. - I'm coming,Kripke.好的绳子貌似很结实Okay,the harness seems to be secure.刚才有点不能自制但网上说那是正常情况A small amount of incontinence just now,but the Web site said that's to be expected.也不咋难嘛像是垂直游泳this isn't so bad. It's like vertical swimming.嘿瞧瞧Cooper 都爬到一半了Hey,look at you,Cooper. You're almost halfway to the top.是吗?I am?我错了我恐高I was wrong. It is a fear of heights.你还好吗Cooper?You all right there,Cooper?不太好Not really.感觉像是反正切曲线接近渐近线了I feel somewhat like an inverse tangent function that's approached an asymptote.你是说你卡住了?Are you saying you're stuck?反正切曲线接近渐近线哪个字你不明白啊?What part of inverse tangent function approaching an asymptote did you not understand? 我都明白我又不是白痴接着爬啦I understood all of it. I'm not a moron. Just keep going.我想我做不到Yeah,I don't think I can.那就爬下去Well,then climb back down.不行更没可能了No,that doesn't seem any more likely.你打算咋办Cooper?What's your plan,Cooper?不能算是啥打算我想我要晕菜了Well,it's not exactly a plan,but I think I'm going to pass out.抱歉咱再做一次行吗?I'm sorry,can we please just do it one more time?好的一二一二三Okay. One,two,one,two,three,and...小事一件但真是怀念啊It's a little thing,but you really do miss it.大家好Hello,everyone.我带新朋友Barry Kripke回家吃饭了I brought my new friend Barry Kripke home for dinner.你们也好啊Hello to you,too.攀岩怎样?How was rock climbing?他晕过去了He passed out.跟个意大利腊肠一样吊在那Just hung there like a big salami.那那那是我的座Tha-tha-that's where I sit.你还有固定座位呢? 咋这么怪捏Ooh,you have a special spot? What kind of wacko are you?看你有多少时间How much time you got?来点中餐?You want some Chinese food?太好了有牙线没?Terrific. Got any dental floss?在洗手间In the bathroom.马上回来Be right back.吃中餐前要先把牙里的印度菜弄出来I got to floss the Indian food out of my teeth if I'm gonna eat Chinese.Sheldon 还好吗?Sheldon,are you okay?哦好呀全晕过去了但值了Oh,yes,I pass out all the time,but it was worth it.我和Kripke的友情有了质的进展但这也产生了一个尴尬的问题I've made substantial progress in bonding with Kripke,which brings me to an awkward moment. 咋了?What's that?维持五个朋友的友情太困难了所以...Maintaing five friendships promises to be a Herculean task,so...我要开除你们其中一个I'm going to have to let one of you go.我我选我吧Me,me,let it be me.Leonard 你是我的室友我的出行工具Leonard,you are my roommate,my source of transportation,床单烘干后你会为我叠好and you help me fold my sheets when they come out of the dryer.你安全了You are safe.- 能吹口哨不? - 别犯傻- Can I whistle? - Don't be silly.Howard 你没有博士学位你的古龙水刺激感官{\c your cologne is an assault on the senses;犹太重大节日期间你不能参与电子游戏and you're not available for video games during the Jewish high holidays.我有罪啊我淘汰了Guilty as charged. I'm out.不你也安全No. You too are safe.哦不是吧我该怎么做呀?Oh,come on. What do I have to do?好了我知道怎么个意思了Okay,you know what? I see where this is going.我不属于你们中的一员我也不是科学家直接告诉我...I'm not one of you guys. I'm not a scientist,so just tell me...Penny Penny Penny 你说的都对但请听我说完Penny,Penny,Penny,everything you're saying is true,but please allow me to continue.Raj 你被淘汰了Raj,you're out.问的好That's a good question.你的确为这个同类的小团体注入了异域的文化While you do provide a certain cultural diversity to an otherwise homogenous group,但你问卷的回答太闹心了your responses to the questionnaire were truly disturbing.你怎么会觉得我最喜欢的氨基酸是谷氨酰胺?How could you for a moment think that my favorite amino acid is glutamine?他写了赖氨酸又改了He had lysine,but changed it.早干啥了RajShoulda,woulda,coulda,Raj.我喜欢在吃东西前打牙线以便牙缝迎接新的食物I like to floss before I eat so my gum pockets are open for new food.你好啊!Hello!我以前怎会没注意到你?How did I walk past you?- 我是Barry - Penny- I'm Barry. - Penny.呃这名字不咋性感嘛Eh,that's not a very hot name.我要叫你RoxanneI'm going to call you Roxanne.哦饺子Ooh,pot stickers.突然前我变得如此优质了哈?Suddenly,I'm looking pretty good,huh?Kripke 我在想你能不能借我用用开放科学网格计算机呢?So,Kripke,I was wondering if there's any chance you could get me some time on the open science gridcomputer?- 不行- 不行? 我们是朋友啊- No. - No? But we're friends.抱歉不行我的盆友I'm sorry. No,my friend.搞不懂了I'm confused.我以为你会让朋友用那机器的I was given to understand that you allow your friends time on the machine. 不不是那么回事有正式安排的我做不了主No,that's wrong. There's an official schedule. I have no control over it.看来整个尝试都是徒劳了Well,this entire endeavor seems to have been an exercise in futility.Raj 你可以回来了Raj,you're back in.他喜欢猴子He likes monkeys.我得表扬他的坚持精神you gotta give him credit for sticking with it.我看他是没那细胞I didn't think he had it in him.这次差点就到顶了啊。

The.Big.Bang.Theory.S10E17Previously on The Big Bang Theory...《生活大爆炸》前情提要My father thinks the reason I can't make a relationship work 我父亲觉得我的每段感情之所以不成功is because I'm spoiled.是因为我是被宠坏的屁孩All right, how much, exactly, does he pay for?好吧那他到底帮你解决多少账单Okay, I'll tell you,我会告诉你们but please don't judge me.但请不要鄙视我He pays for my car, my rent, and my credit cards.我的车我的房租和信用卡的账单都是他付的I'm trying, but I'm judging.我在努力忍住但我已经鄙视你了Maybe your dad's right.或许你爸说得对Yeah, women do like a man that can support himself.对啊女人的确喜欢能养活自己的男人I have come to an important decision.我做出了重要决定I will not be accepting your money anymore.我不会再拿你的钱That's wonderful.太好了Yes, that is wonderful.是的非常好You will no longer be able to accuse me of being spoiled. 你不能再指责我被宠坏了I'm so proud of you.我真为你骄傲Dad, I'm trying to tell you off,爸我是想臭骂你一顿and you're ruining it with your delight and relief.你的欣喜与宽慰毁了我的计划Interesting.有意思Okay.好的How bad is it?多糟糕Let me put it this way--我这么说吧do you own a barrel and suspenders?你有三尺白绫跟板凳吗Are you serious?你是说认真的吗I'm not wearing this visor to play women's golf.我戴这个遮光帽可不是为了打女子高尔夫Oh, let me guess.我猜猜You guys are drafting your fantasy accounting firms. 你们在玩梦幻会计公司We're helping Raj figure out his finances.我们在帮忙拉杰整理财务状况Well, he has a job. How bad can it be?他有工作收入情况能有多差Well, his rent and car lease are exceedingly high.他的房租与汽车租贷费用极其高You couple that with his penchant for dining out and shopping... 再加上他喜欢上馆子吃饭与购物Wait, wait, not shopping for clothes, right?等等购物不是指买衣服对吧Because look.看他这打扮...He also has a remarkable amount of credit card debt.而且他的信用卡债务数额惊人I thought your dad paid your cards.不是你爹帮你付的信用卡账单吗I have a card for emergencies that I pay for myself.我有一张自己付款的紧急备用卡What emergency happened at the L.A. Zoo?在洛城动物园发生了什么紧急事故That's a penguin I sponsor.我认养了一只企鹅They're losing their homes to global warming,它们因为全球暖化而失去了家园and my car gets, like, seven miles a gallon,而我的车每三公里耗一升油so I felt bad.我挺过意不去What is Pink Cheeks?这粉嫩双颊[屁股]是啥It's intimate waxing. Quit looking at that!是私密处除毛那张不许看Maybe you should find someone或许你该找个人to help you get your finances under control.来帮忙让你财务状况回到正轨Like a business manager?比如理财经理吗No, absolutely not.不当然不行You can't afford to hire someone你请不起一名who'll forbid you from spending your money on foolish expenses.会禁止你花钱在白痴开销上的人That is a foolish expense, and I forbid it.因为那也是白痴开销而我禁止你这么做What if there's someone who just likes controlling 那如果有一个单纯只是喜欢控制别人other people and stealing joy from their lives?而且乐于将别人生活中的欢乐偷走的人呢He sounds like a sociopath.他听起来像个反社会变态啊We don't know, his mother never had him tested. 我们也不确定他妈妈没带他去检查过这个You're talking about me. Very funny.你们说的是我真好笑Although I would enjoy drawing up a budget不过我的确是会享受安排好预算and forcing Raj to adhere to it然后逼拉杰坚持计划without an ounce of compassion.而且丝毫不带任何同情心Wait, wait, who's gonna break it to the penguin? 等等那谁去跟企鹅说金援要断了Okay, Sheldon.行啊谢尔顿Yeah, I'm putting you in charge of my finances.我的财务就交给你管吧I will not spend another penny that you don't authorize.我再也不会花任何一分未经你批准的钱Very well.非常好Hey, Comic-Con tickets go on sale this Friday.漫展的票这周五开卖You can't buy one.你不许买Oh, better luck next time, Pink Cheeks.祝你下次好运啦粉嫩双颊You're actually going to Comic-Con?你真的要去漫展吗Well, Leonard wants me to do more stuff like that with him, 莱纳德希望我多陪他做这方面的事so I thought maybe this year I'd tag along.我就想要不今年陪他去Well, that's sweet. I bet you'll have fun.真好我猜你一定会玩得很开心So, do you want to come?那你要一起来吗No, thanks.谢邀不用了I already live in a place all the nerds come to.我已经住在一个所有阿宅都会来的家了Please? I went to your boring thing last month.求你啦我上个月也陪你参加无聊活动了啊My aunt's funeral?你是说我阿姨的葬礼吗Come on, even you checked your e-mail during the eulogy. 干嘛啊你自己也在听悼词时看邮箱了Well, I'm not going,我才不要去but I do think it's nice you want to.但我觉得你想去挺好的It's not that I want to go,不是我想去好吗I just think it'll make Leonard happy.我只是想哄莱纳德高兴And if I have to watch him squeeze into an Ewok costume, 如果哄他就得看他挤进伊渥克服so be it.那我也忍了Look at you, going to Comic-Con,看看你要去漫展talking about Ewoks.还聊起了伊渥克族I really have become the cool one around here.我真变成了我们这群里最酷的那个人了You actually think Penny will have fun at Comic-Con?你真认为佩妮会在漫展玩得开心吗No. Which will make me miserable,不觉得所以这会让我很郁闷which is usually Sheldon's job.而通常让我郁闷是谢尔顿的专利She's gonna hate waiting in line for the panels.她一定会很不爽排队等明星座谈会She's gonna hate all the crowds at the panels.她一定会很不爽去听座谈会的阿宅She's gonna hate the panels.她一定会很不爽那些座谈会She's gonna hate how often we say the word "Panels." 她一定会很不爽我们说"座谈会"这词的频率Why don't you just tell her not to come?那你干嘛不叫她别来了Well, she's so excited, I can't do that to her.她感觉超有兴致我不想这么狠心What if you make it sound so bad那你何不把漫展说得一文不值she won't want to go?她就自己不会想去啦That I would do to her.那我倒是可以狠心试试I can't believe Penny's gonna get to go,真不敢相信佩妮都去了and I'm not.而我却不能去You can always watch the panels online.反正你可以在网上看明星座谈会嘛Oh, boy, we do say that a lot.天啊我们还真是总说"座谈会"Panels.座谈会Just wanted to be included.我就想加入一下大家Come on, Sheldon, it's Comic-Con.求你了谢尔顿这可是漫展Just let me have the money for this,让我花钱去参加吧and I won't ask for anything else.我保证不会乱花钱干别的You put me in charge of your finances.是你让我来管着你的账If you wanted someone weak and spineless you could walk all over,如果你想要心软没骨气让你颐指气使的人you should have asked Leonard.你当初就该去找莱纳德来管See? Miserable.你看郁闷吧Okay, you're right, I got myself into this,行你说得没错是我自作自受but I've never missed a Comic-Con with you guys.但每年都是我们四个一起去参加漫展的啊Your father may have spoiled you, but I won't.你老爸愿意宠溺你但我可以不会If you want a ticket to Comic-Con,如果你想要去动漫展的票I suggest you figure out a way to earn the money yourself. 那我建议你想办法去挣点外快Yeah, you're a grown man who's highly educated.你是个受过高度教育的成人You could charge people money to punch you.你可以收钱当人肉沙包啊Go ahead, make jokes. I don't know why you think随你嘲讽我不知道你哪来的自信you're going to Comic-Con-- you just had a baby.觉得自己就去得成漫展你家小孩刚出生- So? - Well, so?-所以呢 -还所以呢So you think Bernadette's just gonna let you 所以你觉得伯纳黛特会轻松答应jet down to San Diego for five days让你飞去圣地亚哥五天and leave her alone?然后把她孤零零丢在家吗Hang-hang on.稍等一下So I have to bring Penny, you can't afford it, 所以我得带着佩妮而你付不起票Howard's gonna get in trouble,霍华德去就死定了and this guy gets to have a great time.唯独这家伙可以好好享受漫展I'm gonna go as Dumbledore.我要打扮成邓布利多去How's my favorite girl?我亲爱的小美人好吗Okay.还可以啊- What you doing? - Making lasagna.-你在干嘛呢 -做千层面Oh, she's sexy, she can cook.这妞出得了厅堂又入得了厨房I'm such a lucky guy.我真是走了大运You want something stupid, or you did something stupid? 你想买傻逼东西了还是你做傻逼事了No. I just walked in here, saw how beautiful you are才不是我只是走进来看到闭月羞花的你and had to tell you.情不自禁就想说出口Oh, dear God, you're cheating on me with Raj.天啊你是不是背着我跟拉杰搞基了Never gets old.这笑话真是永不过时Okay, there is something I want,好啦我的确想要个东西but it's not a big deal.不过不是什么大事What is it?什么东西Well, Comic-Con tickets go on sale this Friday,漫展的票这周五开卖and I was hoping I could go with the guys.我希望能跟其他几个一起去But before you say anything, I'll make up for being gone 但在你回答之前我会对我的离开做出补偿by doing everything around here-- I mean everything. 家里一切活我全包做什么都行I'm even gonna answer for you.连帮你回答这个问题都行"Yes, Howard, you can go.""准了霍华德准你去"It's so hard to say no to you.拒绝你真是太难了Thank you.谢谢你So I'll say maybe.所以或许吧What? Why?什么为什么You said tickets don't go on sale till Friday, right?你自己说票周五才开卖对吧Yeah.对啊You said you were gonna do all this stuff for me, right? 你也说家里一切活你全包对吧Yeah.对啊See where I'm going with this?听出我接下来要说什么了吗Yeah.听出来了If you don't know how to make lasagna, Google does. 如果你不知道怎么做千层面就去问谷歌Okay, so this is the main Comic-Con floor.好的所以这是动漫展主层It's where all the vendors and exhibits are.所有的小贩和展览都在这里Wow, that is a lot of people jammed in there.好多人挤在这里面啊I know. Sometimes Howard wears a striped shirt 有时候霍华德会穿条纹衫so we can play "Where's Wolowitz?"这样我们就能玩"霍华德在哪里"Okay, now, th-this is us camping out in line这是我们餐风露宿排队for the Avengers panel.等去看《复仇者联盟》座谈会Oh, you really sleep on the sidewalk, huh?你们还真睡在人行道上呢Yeah. It can get chilly,对啊入夜有时挺冷but Raj figured out that if you pee in a bottle但拉杰想出如果我们尿在瓶子里and put it in your sleeping bag,然后放进睡袋中it helps keep you warm.能有类似热水袋的作用Here's the hotel room we all share.这是我们一起住的酒店房间Well, you and I would get our own room, right?到时候我们会单独订一房间的吧Every hotel is booked.所有酒店都订满了But, yeah, see this space here不过你看这一块between Sheldon's feet and my head?就是我脑袋跟谢尔顿脚底之间的空间That's where you go.到时候你就睡这Well, it's no different than when Sheldon这跟以前打雷的时候谢尔顿used to climb in bed with us during a thunderstorm.爬上我们床来跟我们挤没什么两样Don't worry, we won't be doing much sleeping anyway. 不用担心反正到时候也不太会睡觉It's like an all-night party.那里就像个彻夜狂欢派对There's trivia contests and Dungeons & Dragons.有冷知识竞赛与《龙与地下城》桌游As we like to say, it's "Off the chain mail."按我们的话说就是"乐子[锁子甲]超多"I even said "Off the chain mail,"我甚至说了"锁子超多"and she still wants to go.她还是没打退堂鼓That's probably my fault.或许这事赖我She may have heard about my cool Dumbledore costume. 可能她耳闻了我的超屌邓布利多变装Okay, I can give you 20 bucks for the whole box.行吧整盒算你20块But you charged me hundreds for this stuff.这些东西你以前要我几百块呢I know. And I did it with a straight face.对啊而且我都不带眨眼的But I need to earn enough money但我需要挣够足够的钱so I can go to Comic-Con.我才能去漫展Well... all right.好吧I'll give you 25 bucks.我给你25块That's my best offer.我最高就出这么多I have no choice.我也别无选择了You know, if you want to make extra money, 如果你想挣外快I-I could throw some work your way.我可以给你点活儿啊Really? I'll do anything.真的吗我什么活儿都愿意做Great, you're hired.很好你被录用了First thing you can do is put price tags on these. 先从把这些东西贴上价钱开始Start the little ones at $50.小的那些先贴50块You know, it's no big deal.也没什么I can put up with anything for three days.反正三天而已我什么都能忍得住Comic-Con's five days.漫展是五天Are you kidding me?你耍我吧Why don't you just tell him you don't want to go? 你为什么不告诉他你不想去I can't, it'll break his heart.不行我不想伤他的心You know, he's always making an effort他总是很努力尝试做那些to do things with me he doesn't enjoy,他不喜欢的事来陪我like going outside.比如出门He is an indoor cat.他的确是室内猫类型You know, maybe it won't be that bad.或许没想象中那么糟啊Leonard says it's really mainstream now.莱纳德说现在宅文化已经是主流文化Comic books aren't just for sad nerds anymore. 漫画不只是给可悲的阿宅看的了I mean, it is still a key part of their demographic. 显然可悲的阿宅在他们族群仍占多数Howie, can you get that?华仔你能开下门吗Kind of busy.我在忙Busy like I'll be with the baby有你去圣地亚哥玩耍if you go to San Diego?而我在家苦逼带孩子时那么忙吗What's with the gloves?这手套是怎么回事They complete my ensemble. What do you want?跟我这身衣服配套的有何贵干I'm looking to make extra money我想挣点外快and was wondering if you had any chores I could do. 来看看你有没有什么杂活给我干Hang on.稍等Bernie, can I outsource my chores to an Indian guy? 妮妮我可以把我的家务活外包给一个印度人吗No.不行I tried.我尽力了Hey, I was thinking,我在考虑if you want to do a couples costume,如果你想穿情侣装we could paint ourselves green and be Hulk and She-Hulk. 我们可以把自己刷成绿色扮成绿巨人和女绿巨人Or we could paint ourselves blue又或者我们可以把自己刷成蓝色and go as Nightcrawler and Mystique.扮成夜行者和变形女Is there any scenario where we're not in full body paint? 有没有不用全身刷漆的方案Yeah, if you want us to look like losers.有啊如果你想我们看起来逊爆了的话Hey, um, are you sure the guys are okay with me coming? 你确定其他三人不介意我也一起去吗Yeah, of course, why?当然啦为什么这么问This is just something you usually do together,就是通常都是你们四个一起去and if I'm screwing it up, I don't have to go.如果我去会破坏气氛我也不是非得去Oh, why? Do you not want to go?怎么了你不想去吗Why? Do you not want me to go?怎么了你不想我去吗No, I want you to go.不我当然想你去Okay, good, 'cause that's what I want, too.那就好因为我也想去Now we're going as Hulk and She-Hulk.现在我们得以绿巨人和女绿巨人的装扮出现I don't want to take my shirt off at Comic-Con.我不想在漫展上脱掉上衣啊If I may speak for Comic-Con, we don't want that either. 如果我能代漫展发言我会说我们也不希望这事发生Is that nice?需要这么毒吗No, but it's honest, and it sounds like you could use不用但至少诚实啊而且感觉起来a little more honesty in your relationship.你们的感情也需要多一点真诚Uh, I-it's more complicated than that.实际情况远比嘴上说来得复杂I'm always honest with Amy.我一直诚实对待艾米The other day she said she was self-conscious有一天她说觉得难为情about the beauty mark on her shoulder,因为肩膀上有颗美人印and I said, "You know, you can call that a beauty mark all you want.而我说 "随你美化你那个美人印When there's hair growing out of it, that's a mole."但当它上面长了根毛那它就是个痣"Do you think she's as honest with you?你觉得她也对你如此诚实吗I should hope so.我希望是如此When she called me an insensitive jerk,当她称我为没心没肺的混蛋时I'd like to think she meant it.我会希望她是真心的There's got to be other ways you can make a quick buck.肯定有其他让你挣外快的法子Yeah, you'd think.哪这么容易找Ooh, maybe I could sell my blood and sperm. 或许我可以去卖血卖精子I really should wear a bell around my neck 我真应该在脖子上系个铃铛so you guys can hear me coming.这样我一来你们就能听见Here, let me help you.来我帮你吧Thank you.谢谢Oh, Double Stuf Oreos,双层夹心奥利奥I remember when I could afford you.我还记得当初我吃得起的日子There she goes.哈雷又哭了Stay, I'll get her.你待着我去吧- Appreciate it. - That's fine.-非常感谢 -不客气She and I can cry together.我可以和她一起抱头痛哭He's such a sweetie.他真是个好人I know, I wish there was some way we could help him. 我知道真希望我们能有办法帮他If he could find a girl with a good job,如果他可以找到一个薪水高的女朋友all his problems would be over.那他所有的问题将迎刃而解Yeah, that's working out great for me.是啊看我现在过得多"好"Penny says they're ready to go.佩妮说他们准备好出发了Very well.很好Prepare for a long night of deceit.准备迎接漫长的欺骗夜吧Sheldon, women can wear makeup, it's not lying. 谢尔顿女人可以化妆那不叫欺骗I was talking about Leonard.我刚说的是莱纳德And if makeup is so truthful,而且如果化妆品这么诚我不欺why is it called "Concealer"?那为什么有化妆品叫"遮瑕膏"[隐瞒者]Wait, wait, wait, what's Leonard lying about?等等莱纳德欺骗什么了He doesn't really want Penny to go to Comic-Con. 他其实不想佩妮去漫展He's just doing it to make her happy.他是为了让她开心才带她去Really?真的吗Because she doesn't actually want to go.因为佩妮其实并不想去漫展She's just doing it to make him happy.她是为了让他开心才跟他去So they're both trying to make each other happy, 所以他们俩的本意是想让对方开心and the end result is they make each other sad? 而结果却是让彼此恶心吗That's hilarious.真是太可笑了I can't wait to tell them.我等不及要告诉他们了No, you're not gonna tell them anything.不你不能拆穿他们You're gonna stay out of it.你不许插手这件事Why?为什么Because it's between them.因为这是他们之间的事Well, if you haven't noticed,你难道没注意到吗I've been between them for the last ten years.过去十年里我一直生活在他们之间Hey, babe, you want to drive?宝贝你想开车吗Sure, or you can.当然不过你开也行No, it's fine, I know you don't like the way I drive. 没关系我知道你不喜欢我开车的方式I don't have a problem with your driving.我对你开车技术没有意见啊Are you listening to this?你听见他们的鬼话了吗They deceive each other about everything.他们在所有事情上都欺骗对方Just so you know, that guy in the parking lot hit me. 我告诉你是停车场那家伙撞我He wasn't in a car, but okay.他当时都不在车上好吗不过行吧Just say you want to drive.你直说你想开不得了I honestly don't.我真的不想开Amy, do us a favor, please drive.艾米帮个忙你开车吧Sure, happy to.好乐意效劳If you want to drive, just drive.如果你想开车那就开啊I don't see why this has to be so complicated. 我不懂为什么要搞得这么复杂It's not complicated. Amy's driving, that's it!一点都不复杂艾米开车就这样That's not it because you're clearly upset.才不是谁都看得出你不高兴You're the one who seems upset.你才是看上去不高兴的那个Why would I be upset?我为什么要不高兴Because you don't want her to go to Comic-Con! 因为你不想她去参加漫展This is an interesting way to stay out of it.这种"不插手"的方式真是相当有意思啊Wait, you don't want me to go?慢着你不想我去吗Well, I just don't think you're gonna have a good time. 我只是觉得你不会觉得好玩Yeah, well, get this:是啊听好了neither does Penny,佩妮也是这么想的that's why she doesn't want to go.所以她并不想去You set 'em up, I knock 'em down, good job.你下套我下刀合作无间Why would you say you wanted to go if you didn't? 如果你不想去为什么你不直说I just thought it would make you happy.我本以为跟着去会让你开心O-O-O-Okay, hold on, so if you don't want to go好吧等等如果你不想跟去and I don't need to bring you,而我也不必带你去is everything good?我们还是恩爱好夫妻吧Hold on, I'm trying to decide if I'm mad at you.等等我先决定我是不是在生你气No, I'm happy I don't have to go.不会不用去我很开心All right, problem solved.好啦问题解决- Okay. - Yeah.-没错 -对Not entirely, the fight over who's going to drive is still... 还没完呢刚才不是还在吵谁开车吗Oh, my God, stop talking!天啊快把嘴闭上The place looks great.家里看着好干净啊Did you guys get a maid?你们请佣人了吗Kind of.算是吧Dinner's almost ready.晚餐快好了If you like meatloaf, I'm sure you'll like its cousin, 如果你们喜欢烘肉卷那肯定会喜欢它的表亲bowl of meat.大碗肉Hey, if you're still looking to make money,如果你还想着挣外快I will pay you to burn that jacket.我愿意付钱让你把外套烧了Thank you, but it doesn't look like谢谢但看来今年I'm going to Comic-Con this year.我是无缘漫展了Well, with as much debt as you have,你有这么多债务在身probably not next year either.明年应该也不能去- Howie? - Sure.-华仔 -好的This is for you.这是给你的What's this?这是什么It's back pay for all the babysitting补发工资之前你给我们当保姆and taking care of Halley you've done.还有照顾哈雷的酬劳There's more than enough in there to cover Comic-Con. 里面的钱就算你去参加漫展还绰绰有余Um, I also take care of Halley.我也帮忙照顾哈雷了啊And you live here for free.你也在这里白住了啊I do, ma'am, thank you, ma'am.的确如此夫人多谢收留夫人This is so generous of you,你们真是太慷慨了I-I, um, I don't know what to say.我...我都不知道该说什么了Now you can come with us.现在你可以跟我们一起去了Yeah, there's room in the bed by Sheldon's feet. 对啊谢尔顿脚边还有地方睡哦As much as I appreciate this,尽管我很感激你们给我这笔钱I can't accept it.可我不能收Okay?好吗Halley's my goddaughter,哈雷是我的教女I don't take care of her for money.我照顾她是应该的不是为了钱I would.我是Keep it. Consider it a gift.留着吧就当是我们送你的礼物Hold on. Is it back pay or is it a gift?等等这到底是补发工资还是礼物What's the difference?有什么区别吗When the IRS questions us in separate rooms,当我们被关在不同房间被国税局审问时we need to have our stories straight.我们的答案必须一致啊It doesn't matter. I'm not keeping this.无所谓啦反正我不会收下I'm trying to pay my own way and be responsible. 我正努力自食其力做一个有担当的人Taking handouts won't help that.拿别人白给的钱可不行So you're not going to Comic-Con?所以你不去参加漫展了吗I've been plenty of times.反正我去过很多次了If I miss one, it's fine. I'm a big boy.少去一次也没关系我是个成年人了I'm a big boy, and if I missed one,我也是成年人但如果我少去了一次I'd throw a big-boy tantrum.我就会发成年人的脾气You know what? I've gone 12 times.其实我都去了12次了Maybe I'll sit out this year, too.要不今年我也不参加了吧- Really? - Yeah.-真的吗 -真的Maybe you and I can do something fun that weekend. 或许我们那周末可以找点好玩的事情干Ooh, how about white-water rafting?一起去漂流怎么样Oh... how about we compromise不如我们折中一下and go on the Small World ride at Disneyland?去迪士尼玩小小世界之旅You know what, I'm not gonna go either.要不我也不去了I'm a father now.我现在身为人父I'd rather spend time with my family.我更愿意跟家人待在一起You just don't want to go alone with Sheldon. 你只是不想跟谢尔顿两人一起去I'm gonna go check on dinner.我去看看晚餐好了没Sounds like everyone's staying home.听起来大家都不去了What do you say?那你怎么说Nuts to that, I'm going to Comic-Con!谁不去谁傻逼反正我是要去By yourself?就你自己去吗Not necessarily.不一定啊I have four months to find some new friends. 我还有四个月的时间找新朋友陪我去I'll go with you.我陪你去That's very kind of you, Stuart.你人真好斯图尔特Check back in with me in July.等七月的时候你再问我一次There's my pretty girlfriend.瞧瞧我的漂亮女友I'm not going with you to Comic-Con.我是不会跟你去漫展的What? Can't a man just be happy to see his woman干嘛难道就不能因为见到自己女人很开心and pat her on her second most erogenous然后就拍拍她第二性感的部位ball-and-socket joint?球窝关节吗He can, but it's still not changing my mind.能啊但我还是不会改变主意Well, maybe what's in my pants will change your mind. 或许我裤裆里的东西能让你改变主意It's a list of this year's panelists.这是今年明星座谈会的嘉宾名单It's long, isn't it? 很长对不对。

第一季1．Pilot (试播集):帮penny拿电视事件。

2．The Big Bran Hypothesis (宅女假说): Sheldon帮penny整理房间事件。

3．The Fuzzy Boots Corollary (模糊靴推论):Leonard想和leslie发展感情失败，抑郁，后和penny 约会事件。

4．The Luminous Fish Effect (发光新人效应):Sheldon被炒事件。

炒鸡蛋夜光鱼，织布，以及被妈妈带去道歉，然后拿回工作。

（luminous fish）5．The Hamburger Postulate(汉堡公设): Leonard和leslie ONS，Sheldon不知所措事件。

6．The Middle Earth Paradigm(中土范式): 万圣节舞会事件。

（多普勒效应）7．The Dumpling Paradox(饺子佯谬): penny朋友和Howard。

penny玩光晕。

中餐馆点菜事件。

8．The Grasshopper Experiment(小人物实验): 鸡尾酒事件。

（Raj相亲/Howard学Raj印度口音）9．The Cooper-Hofstadter Polarization(Cooper-Hofstadter 极化): 物理发表会事件。

（意念爆头、远程灯控及四川男生）10．The Loobenfeld Decay(Loobenfeld衰变): penny唱歌引起的Leonard撒谎事件。

（Sheldon 的“堂弟”Leo）11．The Pancake Batter Anomaly(面糊异常): Sheldon感冒事件。

12．The Jerusalem Duality(耶路撒冷对偶): Sheldon嫉妒来自朝鲜的15岁天才事件。

13．The Bat Jar Conjecture(Bat Jar 猜想): 物理竞赛事件14．The Nerdvana Annihilation(完全Geek湮灭): 时光机事件。