解析雅思小作文题干改写

雅思小作文流程图类题目范文及解析雅思小作文流程图类题目范文及解析,一起来学习一下吧，下面我就和大家共享，来观赏一下吧。

雅思小作文流程图类题目范文及解析雅思小作文流程图类题目范文及解析为大家带来雅思小作文当中一类较有难度的图表——流程图类的小作文的范文以及解析。

流程图顾名思义就是对某一有时间和步骤先后挨次的行为进行步骤的拆解，并配上相应的文字和解说而生成的图表。

我们在处理流程图类图表作文是应当怎么写，请看下文。

上图来自网络主题：家居设计题型：流程图The diagrams below show some principles of house design for cool and for warm climates.满分范文：The diagrams show how house designs differ according to climate.这些图表显示房子的设计因气候而不同。

The most noticeable difference between houses designed for cool and warm climates is in the shape of the roof. The designs also differ with regard to the windows and the use of insulation.为凉快和暖和气候设计的房子之间最明显的区分是屋顶的外形。

在窗户和保温材料的使用方面，设计也有所不同。

We can see that the cool climate house has a high-angled roof, which allows sunlight to enter through the window. By contrast, the roof of the warm climate house has a peak in the middle and roof overhangs to shade the windows. Insulation and thermal building materials are used in cool climates to reduce heat loss, whereas insulation and reflective materials are used to keep the heat out in warm climates.我们可以看到凉快的气候房子有一个高角度的屋顶，它允许阳光通过窗户进入。

雅思小作文开头改写技巧一、改变句子结构，例如将主动句改为被动句。

使用同义词替换例如将“The chart shows the percentage of people who use different modes of transportation to go to work.”改写为“Different modes of transportation used to go to work are presented in the chart, with the percentage of people using each mode.”二、通过转变它的句式来改写，例如将长句改为短句。

1.替换表达方式例如将“In this report, we can see the number of students who passed the exam in each subject.”改写为“The table demonstrates the amount of students who passed the exam in each subject.”2.增加细节或解释性信息例如将“As can be seen from the table, the percentage of people who use public transportation to go to work is decreasing.”改写为“As can be seen from the table, the percentage of people who use public transportation to go to work is decreasing. This may be due to the factthat more and more people are choosing to drive to work, causing a decrease in the number of public transportation users.”3.采用反面论证例如将“As the graph shows, the use of pesticides on farms has increased significantly over the past few decades.”改写为“As the graph shows, the use of pesticides on farms has NOT increased significantly over the past few decades.”雅思小作文开头段的改写需要根据实际情况选择合适的方式，同时需要注意保持句子的准确性和流畅性。

雅思小作文改写题目英文回答：Task 2: You have rented an apartment from a letting agency. There was a problem with the hot water system, so you called the agency to report it. However, they have not responded to your request yet. Write a letter to the agency expressing your dissatisfaction and outlining the actions you would like them to take.Letter:Dear [Letting agency name],。

I am writing to express my dissatisfaction with the lack of response to my request for assistance with the faulty hot water system in my apartment at [address]. I reported the issue on [date] and have not received any communication from your agency since.The absence of hot water has been a significant inconvenience for me, particularly during these cold winter months. I have been unable to take showers, wash dishes, or perform other essential tasks that require hot water. The lack of hot water has also affected my ability to sleep due to the cold showers.I understand that emergencies can occur and that there are times when it may take longer to resolve issues. However, I believe that the lack of communication from your agency is unacceptable. I have made multiple attempts to contact you by phone and email, but my requests have gone unanswered.The actions I would like you to take to resolve this matter are as follows:Send a plumber to my apartment as soon as possible to repair the hot water system.Compensate me for the inconvenience I have experienced due to the lack of hot water.Improve your communication channels to ensure that tenants receive timely responses to their requests.I trust that you will take this matter seriously and take swift action to resolve the issue. If I do not receive a satisfactory response within [number of days] days, Iwill have no choice but to consider other options,including contacting the relevant regulatory authorities.Thank you for your attention to this matter.Sincerely,。

【雅思写作真题】剑桥8Test3⼩作⽂实例批改【雅思写作真题】剑桥8 Test3 ⼩作⽂实例批改“真题：剑桥8 Test3 ⼩作⽂”The diagrams below show the stages and equipment used in the cement-making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.考⽣原⽂Let’s have a look the left diagram which introduces the cement production.In the beginning, the cude materials are Limestone and Clay. Both of them have a shape of beads. We start to put them into a crusher at same time and they become a combinational power. After crushing, place the power into a mixer and pass though a rotating heater which had a heat at bottom. These heated power will go through a Grinder then finally become Cement, and seprate in to different bags.When builders need concrete, the steps show on the right hand side diagram will guide them to get it. Firstly, there should be a concrete mixer which can contain everything. Secondly, add15% of cement, 10% of water, 25% of sand and 50% of Gravel (kind of small stones).Make sure the concentration of each element is correct. Thirdly, keep rotating the mixer. At last the production will be a ultrafine concrete.批改By 晟睿葡萄本次批改严格按照IELTS⼩作⽂评分标准进⾏。

Content1.Line graph ------------------------Exp1-3-----------------------P2-42.Bar chart---------------------------Exp4-5-----------------------P5-63.Table-------------------------------Exp6-8-----------------------P6-84.Pie chart---------------------------Exp9-11----------------------P9-105.Flow chart-------------------------Exp12------------------------P11-126.Map---------------------------------Exp13-----------------------P12-13the requirement of getting 6 score : correct + nativeExample 1The version of teacher Answer 1The graph shows the increase in the percentage of people aged 65 or more in Japan, Sweden and the USA.In 1940 the proportion of people over 65 years stood at only 5% in Japan, approximately 7% in Sweden and 9% in the US. However, while the figures for the Western countries grew to about 15% in around 1990, the figure for Japan dipped to only 2.5% for much of his period, before rising to almost 5% again at the present time.In spite of some fluctuation in the expected percentages, the proportion of older people will probably continue to increase in the next two decades in the three countries.A more dramatic rise is predicted between 2030 and 2040 in Japan, by which time it is thought that the proportion of elderly people will be similar in the three countries.Overall, it indicates that the percentage of elderly people in all three countries is expected to increase to almost 25% of the respective populations by the year 2040.Example 2NOTE①表将来：...%... Be (is/was) predicted to increase/decrease Be expected to ,,, Be planned to .. Be projected to ...②Introduction 改写题目Origin：The graph below shows the number (thousands) of people taking part in four kinds of sports in a particular region between 1985 and 2005 .Revise：①The line graph reflects how many people participated/joined in four types of sports in a specific area from 1985 to 2005.②The line graph illustrates how the number of people who joined in four types ......changed in a....during 1985, to2005.③line graph步骤第一段改写分两段主体段，主体段抓细节描写，不能主观臆断添油加醋，看到什么说什么按照从左到右，从上到下的顺序描写不要一条一条描写，必须先分类。

雅思写作小作文如何检查和修改雅思写作小作文如何检查和修改小作文也是雅思考试写作的重要部分，但是很多考生是不知道要怎么样检查和修改小作文的。

下面就让店铺给大家分享雅思考试写作小作文检查和修改的方法吧，希望能对你有帮助!雅思小作文检查及修改技巧雅思写作的大作文需要我们用40分钟的时间写一篇250字的文章，我们可以花6-8分钟的时间来构思文章观点以及结构，28-30分钟时间来写文章，最后一定要留出3-6分钟的时间来进行检查。

那么相信考生会有一个问题：我应该从哪几个方面来进行检查呢?考试的时间是很宝贵的，所以如果不经过一定的训练，只在考试中的最后几分钟来检查自己的文章，考生肯定无从下手。

所以我建议广大考生在平时的训练中，就要做好检查以及修改这一项工作。

具体可以从如下几方面入手：1.标点和拼写是否有错误;2.是否使用了正确的语法结构，比方说，考生经常犯错误的几个方面：动词时态是否一致、主谓是否一致、词性(尤其是名词、动词、形容词)、名词单复数、冠词错误和介词错误;3.句式是否有变化(如各种从句的使用、分词结构等);4.是否明确的观点以及分论点;5.在每段的主题句中都表明了这个段落的中心思想，所有扩展句都紧扣主题;6.使用了过渡性词语，因而句子之间和段落之间都有逻辑性和条理性;7.文章是否提供了足够的细节、例子或论据。

雅思小作文开头段写法在雅思写作的小作文部分里，往往我们可以采纳“老三段”式的写法，以不变应万变，不论是线图，柱图，表格，饼图，亦或是流程图，我们都可以采用此种方式完成雅思小作文的写作。

那么老三段式的经典写法中，强调着第一段“开门见山”介绍出本文讨论内容，即改写题目。

将必要内容进行改写，这样可以获得高分效应。

第二段“丰实的内容”尽量多地将图表中的信息表达明确，不时的需要我们之前总结的常用表达(敬请参见前几篇文章雅思作文经典表达介绍文章)。

第三段也就是文章的最后一段，对全文进行一个总结概括即可。

本文将着眼于介绍雅思作文开头段的常用高频高分表达，希望对们准备雅思有所帮助。

雅思小作文改写题目模板Title: The Impact of Social Media on Teenagers。

Social media has become an integral part of the daily lives of teenagers around the world. With the rise of platforms such as Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Snapchat, teenagers are spending more and more time online, connecting with friends, sharing their lives, and consuming content. While social media has its benefits, it also has a significant impact on teenagers' mental health, relationships, and behavior.One of the most significant impacts of social media on teenagers is its effect on their mental health. Studies have shown that excessive use of social media can lead to increased feelings of anxiety, depression, and loneliness among teenagers. The constant exposure to carefully curated and often unrealistic images and lifestyles on social media can lead to feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem. Additionally, the pressure to constantly present a perfect image online can be overwhelming for many teenagers, leading to a negative impact on their mental well-being.Furthermore, social media has also changed the way teenagers form and maintain relationships. While social media allows teenagers to stay connected with friends and family, it can also lead to a decrease in face-to-face interactions. Many teenagers now prefer to communicate through text messages and social media rather than in-person conversations, which can lead to a lack of meaningful connections and a decrease in social skills. Additionally, the prevalence of cyberbullying on social media platforms has had a detrimental impact on many teenagers' relationships, leading to increased feelings of isolation and distress.In addition to its impact on mental health and relationships, social media also influences teenagers' behavior. The constant exposure to content on social media can shape teenagers' attitudes, beliefs, and values. This can lead to the adoption of unhealthy behaviors, such as excessive use of social media, comparison with others, and seeking validation through likes and comments. Furthermore, the spread of misinformation andharmful content on social media can also influence teenagers' decision-making and behavior, leading to potential risks and dangers.Despite these negative impacts, it is important to acknowledge that social media also has its benefits for teenagers. It allows them to express themselves, connect with like-minded individuals, and access information and resources. However, it is crucial for teenagers to use social media in a mindful and responsible manner, and for parents and educators to provide guidance and support in navigating the digital world.In conclusion, social media has a significant impact on teenagers, affecting their mental health, relationships, and behavior. While it has its benefits, it is important to be aware of the potential negative effects and to take steps to mitigate them. By promoting healthy and responsible use of social media, we can help teenagers navigate the digital world in a positive and empowering way.。

注意写作时态
如果是遇到描述某个建筑，景点位置的变化， 那么时间节点意味着考生还需要注意时态问题。 如果是出现过去时间，那么就用过去时，描述 为了，那就是将来时，总之时态问题不能轻视。
从这个题目来看，右图是现在及将来的情况， 我们则需要用到一般现在时、现在完成时以及 一般将来时这几个时态。如：所有虚线标出的 地方是需要用到一般将来时态的。
1975年，在大学的每个角落都可以看到四个主 要区域，它们之间有几棵树。
In the north-western corner a sports center was situated, surrounded by a road which intersected another road leading to a lecture room in the south-eastern part. A library lay in the southwestern end and to its opposite side, there was a drama room and a music room boarding a big car park.
The graph shows the development of a particular college campus from 1975 to 2002 and the proposed development of 2020.
Summarize the details. Select and report the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
2002年，一个显著的变化是体育中心被拆除，一个室内中心计划在 2020年建成。此外，为了给中心的科学大楼让路，穿过校园的道路也 被拆除了。但是另一条新的道路将会被修建起来，将室内运动中心和 以前的图书馆连接起来，图书馆被分成了两部分，一半作为一个IT室。 虽然百家讲坛比1975年大了一倍，但原来的戏剧演播室被改成了地质 演播室，原来的地方被停车场占了，所以容量变大了。

作文题目：剑桥8 Test4小作文The graph below shows the quantities of goods transported in the UK between 1974 and 2002 by four different modes of transport.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.考生原文The line diagram which indicates the goods transported in UK between (1974) and (2002), according to different ways of transport and the tonnes they carried. Among these lines, water and rail both start with the similar value 40 million tonnes at 1974. After 4 years, the amounts of goods that carried by ship had an increase. However, the amounts that transported by trains went down. Though water line had a decrease from 1982 to 1998, the overall value of it always above the rail line.The most obvious line which can find on the top of chart is the quantity of goods that transported by road. It held the highest position during 28 years(start at 78 tonnes and finish at 98 tonnes). Turning to the bottom of the chart, the black straight line reveal the pipeline. It is clear that the black line had two climbing points, but it is still the minimum figure.Overall, the chart demonstrates that the technology is developing. Because all the lines have a positive gradient or the final value is greater than start value.批改By 晟睿葡萄本次批改严格按照IELTS小作文评分标准进行。

雅思图表作文第一段改写方法五篇第一篇：雅思图表作文第一段改写方法先看看剑7 TEST3的题目：The chart below shows information about changes in average house prices in five different cities between 1990 and 2002 compared with the average house prices in 1989.再来看给出的6.5分范文This chart gives information about the percentage change in average house prices in five different cities located in five different countries over 12 year period between 1990 and 2002 compared with the average houses in 1989.出路倒是有一条，那就是“句型变化+词汇改变”，措辞改变大家很好理解，句型变化是大家以前很少想到去做的，其实句型变化很简单，一般题目The table shows后面给出的通常是一个名词性的词组，我们把它改成句子即可，句型和词汇双变化，改写就容易充分了：The given diagram indicates that how the real estate market in five major cities around the world changed from 1989 to the period between 1990 and 2002.句型变化：名词性词组changes变为how…changed…词汇变化：this chart变为the given diagram average house prices变为the real estate marketin five different cities后面添加around the worldbetween 1990 and 2002 compared with the average house prices in 1989变为from 1989 to the period between 1990 and 2000同时我们也可以作另外一种改写：一般的题目是The graph shows…，改为The information given by the graph is about…则很轻易的改换了句型表达。

Some people believe that charity organizations should give the aid to 援助those who are in great needs, while the others think that charity organizations should concentrate on helping people who live in their own country. Discuss both views and give your opinion.Charity organization has never lost its unique power to confuse people and transport them to troubles(?). It is argued that whether the charity organizations should support to people who are in great needs or (to) those who live in their own countries. Personally I believe that charity organizations focus (focusing)on helping their own countries’ people should be considered as the option of last, instead of the first resort.Evidences show that charity organizations to aid people who are in great needs can bring a host of benefits to individuals as well as the whole international society. The charity help(helping) those who need great help can alleviate the increasing social gap between rich and poor, countries’ strong and weak (? ,)which will probably reduce the rate of crimes and build a harmonious world. A case in point is that since the outbreak of the Iraq war the international Red Cross federation is aiming to help nearly one million of the most socially vulnerable people inside (in)Iraq. Specifically, it supports Iraq food, water and medical facilities to help the vulnerable people rebuild their hometown. As far as I am concerned, worldwide charity organizations, which can help people all over the world, will (help to) construct a harmonious wold and reduce the war.However, charities just concentrate (concentrating )on aiding people who live in their own countries seems not work effectively. The radical reason for which(which 改为that, 或是去掉for which) is that it has a limitation on supporting vulnerable people from other countries who suffer from the disasters, which will lead to a complex and dangerous social environment other than in their own country. This will eventually build an inhumane image in the world. A case in point is that in 2011 （after）the Japanese earthquake, Chinese charity organizations sent rescue team s and basic facilities to Japan to save people’s lives. If China did not do like(去掉）this, Chinese reputation would certainly destroyed and our country would be condemned by the international society. In this case, this way should be considered as the option of last.(?) A nation should help other nations regardless of its strength.(结尾的总结是否应该回归到慈善组织呢？）Therefore, I believe that charity organizations should （give)aid to people no matter where they come from, which(since they)are regarded as (the)better solutions to reduce wars and help vulnerable people rebuild their homeland when they went through disasters. According to these ways( Thus), a harmonious international society will be set up. Besides, it will make a progress in ( make great contributions to ) the whole world’s sustainable development.By and large, we can expect that at least the problem about what kinds of peoplecharities should aid can be largely solved by supporting people from all over the world who faces the desperate situation. The more effort put in and the wider (engagements)the whole society involvement( involved in), the more substantial results likely to be. The increase of aiding people who are in great needs and the consequent improvement in people’s happiness is surely a worthwhile objective.总评：首先字数太多，看起来累赘，会导致扣分。

解析雅思小作文题干改写第一篇：解析雅思小作文题干改写图表题是备考雅思写作小作文中常见的题型之一。

通常小作文要求字数不低于150个单词，并且官方建议写作时间不超过20分钟，分值约占写作部分的三分之一。

由于占分比例比大作文低，经常被很多考生所忽略。

但事实上，这类题型非常好拿分，因为其描述语言相对大作文来说更为固定，句型和用词上也相对较单一，如果考生能掌握固定的写法，和一些相应的语言搭配，往往更容易掌握这种题型，因此，这类题型其实是短期内提高分数的一个突破口。

今天，我们先来学习一下小作文之题干改写的策略。

雅思小作文图表题题型包括线图、饼图、柱状图和表格这四种题型，外加一种组合图，比如考试时同时出现一张线图，和一张柱状图。

无论是写哪一种图形，我们在考试时，第一句话永远都是改写题干。

这就是小作文的固定套路，也是一个得分点。

但是笔者在实际教学时发现，有很多同学不知道如何去改，改哪些地方，那么今天我们就来仔细谈一下如何提高这一部分。

要知道，题干改写是文章的开头第一句话，一个良好的开头是高分的一半。

我们拿真题来举个例子：剑3真题：The graph blew shows the unemployment rates in the US and Japan between March 1993 and March 1999.以上这句话是考试时所给的题干，很多没有经过培训的同学看到这种题干就会照抄，这样做当然会扣分。

因此，我们在备考时，大家需要总结这样的题干应该如何去改写，如总结题干中的show我们应该怎么处理，题干中的时间表达between March 1993 and March 1999应该如何去改写。

【高分版】The graph indicates the jobless rates in the US and Japan from March 1993 to March 1999.大家会发现，高分同学的改法，基本将原来的题干主语，谓语，和宾语部分都做了改写，并同时保持语法正确，语意没有变化，句型精练不罗嗦。

改后：The following chart describes the percentage of diverse types （同义词替换）of poor families （改变关键词的位置和词性）in Australia in 1999.
1
2
图表作文开头段常用替换
give, describe, demonstrate, outline,
名词和从句之间的相互转换
The graph below shows the unemployment rates in the U.S. and Japan between March 1993 and March 1999
N. how N. + V. (change / fluctuate) unemployment rates how unemployment rates changed
开头段的写法：改写 / 转述题目 同义替换 1. 同义词替换 2. 关键词词性、位置的转换。 3. 时间、地点的改写。 between A and B during the period from A to B 地点改写（具体 概括） 4. 名词和从句之间的相互转换。 N. how N. + V. (change / fluctuate)
indicate, reveal, present, illustrate,
offer / provide an overview of…,
compare
show: (10种)
proportion: percentage, share
Information:
4.types:
Sole parent
21%
Couple with children

雅思写作备考：小作文改写技巧（经典版）编制人：__________________审核人：__________________审批人：__________________编制单位：__________________编制时间：____年____月____日序言下载提示：该文档是本店铺精心编制而成的，希望大家下载后，能够帮助大家解决实际问题。

文档下载后可定制修改，请根据实际需要进行调整和使用，谢谢!并且，本店铺为大家提供各种类型的经典范文，如演讲稿、总结报告、合同协议、方案大全、工作计划、学习计划、条据书信、致辞讲话、教学资料、作文大全、其他范文等等，想了解不同范文格式和写法，敬请关注!Download tips: This document is carefully compiled by this editor. I hope that after you download it, it can help you solve practical problems. The document can be customized and modified after downloading, please adjust and use it according to actual needs, thank you!In addition, this shop provides you with various types of classic sample essays, such as speech drafts, summary reports, contract agreements, project plans, work plans, study plans, letter letters, speeches, teaching materials, essays, other sample essays, etc. Want to know the format and writing of different sample essays, so stay tuned!雅思写作备考：小作文改写技巧对于许多有留学打算的考生来说，雅思考试是必须通过的一道关卡。

雅思小作文怎么批改
对于雅思小作文的批改，我会先根据写作的内容和语法结构进行评分。

然后，我会对文章中的拼写错误、语法错误和表达不够清晰的地方进行指出和修改建议。

最后，我会给出一些写作技巧和建议，帮助学生提高写作水平。

英文回答，When it comes to correcting IELTS writing task 1, I usually start by assessing the content and the grammatical structures used in the essay. Then, I point out and provide suggestions for spelling errors, grammatical mistakes, and unclear expressions. Finally, I offer some writing tips and advice to help students improve their writing skills.
中文回答，在批改雅思写作任务1时，我通常会先评估文章的内容和语法结构。

然后，我会指出并提出拼写错误、语法错误和表达不够清晰的地方，并给出修改建议。

最后，我会提供一些建议和技巧，帮助学生提高写作水平。

希望这些回答对你有帮助。

《剑桥雅思七》写作例文的修改和讲解近来,我在国内出版的雅思书籍和相关网站看到介绍《剑桥雅思七》TEST 2的一篇Band 7.5写作例文,但都没有将文中的具体错误加以更正,这样对广大雅思考生英语水平的提高是无益的.本人现将该文的错误予以更正并作出详细讲评,供广大考生研习.文章题目如下:Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment.Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.《剑桥雅思七》原书写作例文如下:Fixing punishments for each type of crime has been a debatable issue. There are many arguments supporting both views, those for and those against fixed punishments.On the one hand, fixed punishments will have a deterring effect on society. Individuals knowing that they will be subject to a certain punishment if they are convicted with a given crime, will reconsider committing this act in the first place.This deterring effect also leads to social stability and security, through minimising the number of crimes committed.If people knew they would be able to convince the court or the jury of a reason for having committed the crime they are accused of, penal decisions would be largely arbitrary. This would result into criminals getting away with their crimes and into a high level of injustice caused by the subjective approach of different courts.On the other hand, taking the circumstances of a crime and its motivation into consideration is a prerequisite for establishing and ensuring justice and equity.A person killing in self-defense can not be compared to a serial killer, moving from one victim to the next. In my opinion an intermediary position between both solutions is the perfect way to establish and ensure justice and equity.There has to be fixed punishment for all crimes. However, criminal laws have to provide for a minimum and maximum for the punishment and the laws also have to foresee certain cases of exemptions.An example for setting minimum and maximum penalties is competition law where a person being held liable of a crime under this law will be convicted to pay a fine, according to the harm caused by the violation and the profit gained by the violator through committing the crime.As for the exemptions, in some countries the law exempts thiefs stealing food during a period of famine taking into consideration the distress and hunger.Also, a person killing in self-defense will be exempted from punishment.《剑桥雅思七》一书提供的雅思考官对该文的点评:该文论证清晰、观点明确、用词和句型丰富多样,除个别地方外,基本准确.但该文的段落分配不够合理,有的段落连接显得混乱.此外,没有明确的结论也是该文的一个不足.以下是经我改正过的范文:To date, imposing a fixed punishment for each type of crime has been a debatable issue. There are many arguments for and against the execution of penalty.On one hand, fixed punishments will have a deterring effect on potential criminals. Individuals will think twice before committing an offence if they know that they will be subjected to a certain punishment if convicted of a given crime. In addition, this deterring effect also helps to enhance social stability and security through minimising the number of crimes committed. On the other hand, if people knew they would be able to convince the court or the jury of a reason for having committed the crime they are accused of, penal decisions would be largely arbitrary. This would result in criminals getting away with their crime and a high level of injustice could be caused by the subjective approach of different courts.There have to be fixed punishments for all crimes. However, criminal laws have to provide a minimum and maximum for the punishment and the laws should also foresee certain cases of exemptions. One example for setting minimum and maximum penalties is the competition law under which a person held liable for a crime will be convicted to pay a fine according to the harm caused by the violation and the profit gained by the violator through committing the crime. As for exemptions, in some countries thieves stealing food during a period of famine are exempted from punishments.Therefore, in my opinion, taking the circumstances of a crime and its motivation into consideration is a prerequisite for the measurement of punishment. A person killing in self-defense can not be compared to a serial killer who moves from one victim to another. Perhaps a balanced approach could be a perfect way to ensure legal justice and equality.修改讲解:第一段:1. 原文第一句Fixing punishments for each type of crime has been a debatable issue不如改为To date, imposing a fixed punishment for each type of crime has been a debatable issue更符合英语逻辑和书面表达习惯,而且加上to date显得更为自然些.2. 原文第二句表达显过于wordy, 改为There are many arguments for and against the execution of penalty较为简练,而且避免了fixed punishment重复使用.第二段:1. 原文第一句中的on society 说法有些过于笼统,现改为更为具体的potential criminals.2. 原文第二句表述有些不够流畅,改为Individuals will think twice before committing an offence if they know that they will be subjected to a certain punishment if convicted of a given crime. 原文的will be subject to a certain punishment 改为will be subjected to a certain punishment更为常见.第四段:1. 该段原文的最后一句中的result into 应该为result in才符合英语惯用.第五、六段:将原文第五六段放到文章结论段更符合行文逻辑.原句中an intermediary position between both solutions is the perfect way改为a balanced approach could be a perfect way to ensure legal justice and equality 更为简练、准确.第七段:原文provide后的for 应删掉.第八段:原文第一句的where用在这里不准确,liable of 应改为liable for.第九段:原文中的thiefs应为thieves, taking into consideration the distress and hunger用在这里从修辞角度讲指代不够明确.另外,原文段落过多,显得十分松散.通过合并或调整一些段落,改后的作文更加紧凑,同时也修正了原文缺乏结论段的败笔.。

【雅思作文批改】剑桥写作真题 Test4小作文批改雅思作文是雅思考试中比较难得分的部分，很多雅思考生在雅思作文上都很头疼，怎么都拿不到好的雅思作文分数，所以大家掌握一些雅思作文模板、雅思作文技巧是非常重要的。

为了让大家快速的提高雅思写作成绩，这里跟大家分享关于“【汇总】晟睿教育原创板块：雅思作文批改|雅思作文范文“的相关内容，希望大家耐心的复习，认真的准备，好好总结，到时你会发现，其实要取得雅思作文高分并没有想象中的那么难！更多雅思作文批改请关注晟睿教育-雅思作文批改栏目!雅思作文题目：剑桥7 Test4小作文The pie charts below show units of electricity production by fuel source in Australia and France in 1980 and 2000.Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.考生原文The pie graph demonstrates units of electricity production by fuel source in Australia and France in 1980 and 2000.As we can see in the pie graph, the production of Coal occupied the largest among these sourcesin Australia, which increased dramatically from 50 units to 130 units between 1980 and 2000. Except Coal, the Hydro Power went up from 20 units to 36 units in the 2 decades. There was a downward trend of Nature Gas and Oil, bottoming at 2 units in 2000 while the production of Nature Gas was twice of Oil in 1980.In France, there was a dramatic upward trend of Nuclear Power, peaking at 126 units in 2000. The Coal kept the same at 25 units from 1980 to 2000. At the same time, the Oil increased only 5 units. Surprisingly, the Nature Gas which was 5 times of Hydro Power in 1980(5 units) decreased dramatically, arriving at 2 units in 2000, and Hydro Power had the same production in 2000. To summarize, the total production in Australia and France both increased from 1980 to 2000. (182 words )雅思作文批改By 晟睿教育 Anna老师本次批改严格按照IELTS小作文评分标准进行。