英语搞笑笑话8篇

英语经典爆笑笑话12篇下面是店铺整理的英语经典爆笑笑话，欢迎大家阅读!英语经典爆笑笑话：Keep feeding him nickelsA mother saw her three-year-old son put nickel in his mouth and swallowed it. She immediately picked hime up, turned him upside down and hit him on the back, whereupon he coughed up two dimes. Frantically, she called to the father outside. "Your son just swallowed a nickel and coughed up two dimes!What shall I do? "Yelled back the father,"Keep feeding him nickels!"母亲见三岁的儿子将一枚五分镍币放进嘴里吞了下去，她立刻将他抱起，头朝下不停地拍打他的后背，他咳出了两枚一角的硬币，她发狂似的朝正在外面的孩子父亲喊道：“你儿子刚才吞下了一枚五分镍币，可咳出两枚一角的硬币!我该怎么办呢?”孩子他爸大声回答道：“再喂他几枚镍币!”英语经典爆笑笑话：Dumas仲马One day a man was taunting Alexandre Dumas，the greatFrench novelist，with his ancestry. “Why，” snarled the fellow，“you are a quadroon;yourfather was a mulatto，and your grandfather was a negro.” “Yes，” roared Dumas，“and，if you wish to know'mygreatgrandfather was a monkey. In fact，my pedigree beganwhere yours terminates.”有一天，一个人在嘲弄法国大小说家亚历山大·仲马，讥笑他的祖先。

英语经典冷笑话多篇笑话一A man goes to the doctor and says, ＂Doctor, wherever I touch, it hurts＂The doctor asks, ＂What do you mean?＂The man says, ＂When I touch my shoulder, it really hurts When I touch my knee OUCH! When I touch my forehead, it hurts, too＂The doctor says, ＂I know what's wrong with you you've broken your finger!＂这个笑话的笑点在于病人描述了各种身体部位触摸时的疼痛，让医生误以为是那些部位出了问题，结果却是手指断了，造成了一种意外和反差的幽默。

笑话二Why is the doctor so angry?Because he has no patience“patience”既有“耐心”的意思，又有“病人”的意思。

这里巧妙地利用了这个词的双重含义，让人感到意外和好笑。

笑话三Teacher: ＂John, if you have five apples in one hand and six apples in the other, how many apples do you have?＂John: ＂I have big hands!＂老师本想让约翰计算手中苹果的总数，而约翰的回答却完全出乎意料，他没有按照常规的数学逻辑回答，而是关注到自己手的大小，这种思维的跳跃产生了幽默效果。

笑话四What is the longest word in the English language?Smiles Because there is a mile between its first and last letters这个笑话利用了单词“smiles”的拼写，通过巧妙的解释，将其变成了最长的单词，这种创意和独特的思维方式让人忍俊不禁。

英语幽默爆笑笑话7篇下面是店铺整理的英语幽默爆笑笑话，欢迎大家阅读!英语幽默爆笑笑话：Class and AssProfessor Laurie of Glasgow put this notice on his door：Professor Laurie will not meet his classes today.A student，after reading the notice，rubbed out thec.Later Professor Laurie came along，and entering into the spirit of the joke，rubbed out thel.班和笨驴格拉斯哥的劳里教授在门上贴了这样一个通知：劳里教授今天不会他的班。

一个学生读了通知后，擦掉了字母c。

后来劳里教授来了，也想开开玩笑，他擦掉了字母。

英语幽默爆笑笑话：A store manager heard a clerk tell a customer.No，ma’am，we haven't had any for a while， and it doesn't look asif we'll be getting soon. Horrified，the manager came runningover to the customer and said，Of course，we'll have somesoon，We placed an order last week. Then the manager drewthe clerk aside：Never， never， never say we are out of anythingsay we've got it on order and it's coming. Now whatwas it she wanted?Rain. said the clerk.一个商店经理听见一个店员对顾客说：不，夫人，这会儿没有，一时半会儿看来也不会有。

关于英语幽默笑话短_幽默笑话短信在这个快节奏的生活中，找点乐子成了我们不可或缺的调味剂。

而英语幽默笑话，就像是那杯午后的咖啡，提神又醒脑，让人在不经意间笑出声。

今天，就让我带你走进那些让人捧腹的英语幽默笑话，一起感受那些简单却充满智慧的快乐瞬间，说不定还能笑出腹肌呢！一、误解也疯狂记得有一次，我在一个国际交友平台上遇到了一个英国朋友，名叫Tom。

我们聊得很投机，直到有一天，他给我发了一条信息：“I’m so hungry, I could eat a horse!” 我一看，心里咯噔一下，心想：“这哥们儿是不是饿疯了？要吃马？”正当我紧张地想要安慰他时，他突然发来一个笑脸符号，解释说：“哈哈，这是句英国俚语，意思是‘我饿得能吃下一头牛’！”我这才恍然大悟，原来英语里的表达有时候这么直接又夸张，让人忍俊不禁。

从那以后，每次我觉得饿极了，就会半开玩笑地说：“I could eat a horse too!”二、单词游戏的乐趣还有一次，我和几个英语爱好者朋友聚在一起玩“单词接龙”。

轮到我的时候，我灵光一闪，说了一个“banana”（香蕉）。

下一个朋友稍作思考，接了个“analyst”（分析师）。

轮到下一位时，他明显卡壳了，眉头紧锁。

我们都以为他要输了，结果他突然眼睛一亮，大喊：“Stop! I’ve got it! Spyglass!”（等等！我想到了！望远镜！）原来，他是把“analyst”倒过来念成了“tsylana”，然后巧妙地加上了“ss”和“pyg”变成了“spyglass”。

那一刻，我们都被他的机智逗乐了，这场游戏也因此变得更加有趣和富有挑战性。

三、短信里的幽默宝藏在手机短信盛行的年代，我也收到过不少让人捧腹的英语幽默短信。

其中一条至今让我记忆犹新：“Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!”（为什么科学家不信任原子？因为它们总是编造一切！）这句简短却充满讽刺意味的话，用科学的术语包装了一个日常生活中的笑话，让人在会心一笑的同时，也感受到了英语的魅力。

超级搞笑英语笑话小短文【篇一】超级搞笑英语笑话小短文给予与提取M.friend’.preparation.fo..visi.fro.he.childre.incl ude..tri.t.th.bank.Waitin.i.lin.a.th.teller’.windo mente.t.th.middle-age.ma.behind.her,”M.childre.ar.i.thei.20’s，an.I’.stil.givin.the.money.Whe.doe.i.end?”我的朋友为其子女的光临做着一些准备工作。

这些工作当然包括要到银行去一超。

当她在出纳员的窗外排队等候时，她对她身后的一位中年男子说:“我的孩子们都20多岁了，可我仍然得给他们钱。

这种事什么时候才算完呢?””I’.no.sure，”th.ma.replie.whil.glancin.uncomfortabl.a..pape.i.hi .hand，”bu.I`.no.th.on.t.ask.I’.her.t.deposi..chec.m.mothe .gav.me.”“我可不知道。

”那位男子边回答边不安地看着手里拿着的那张纸。

“我可不是你该问的人，我到这儿是来支取我妈妈给我的支票的。

”【篇二】超级搞笑英语笑话小短文妻子的欲望.woma.an.he.husban.wer.ou.shoppin.whe.sh.realiz e.tha.sh.neede.t.purchas.som.hai.colo.fo.he.grayin. hair.一位女士在与他的丈夫购物时，她意识到她该为她的灰白头发买些染发水了。

”Whe.ar.yo.goin.t.sto.buyin.tha.expensiv.stuf.,”complaine.th.husband.”an.le.you.hai.g.gra.lik.Barbar.Bush?”她丈夫抱怨说:“你什么时候才能停止买那些昂贵的东西，而让你的头发长成像芭芭拉.布什(总统夫人)的头发那样灰白呢?””Th.da.tha.you’r.inaugurated,”th.wif.replied.“那就要等到你就职的那天了。

爆笑英语冷笑话10篇下面是学习啦我整理的爆笑英语冷笑话，欢迎大家阅读!爆笑英语冷笑话：Whose father was the strongerWill and Bill were quarrelling about whose father was the stronger.Will said, Well, you know the Pacific Ocean ? My fathers the one who dug the hole for it.Bill wasnt impressed, Well, thats nothing. You know the Dead Sea ? My fathers the one who killed it!维尔和比尔在争吵，谁的爸爸是更强壮的一个。

维尔说："你知道太平洋吗?那个坑是我爸爸挖的。

'比尔不屑地说："那没什么。

你知道死海吗? 那是我爸爸打死的。

'爆笑英语冷笑话：Persistance 缠住不放Returning from a golf outing(远足，短途旅行) , my husband was greeted at the door by Sara, our four-year-old daughter. Daddy, who won the golf game? You or Uncle Richie?Uncle Richie and I dont play golf to win, my husband hedged(避开作正面答复) . We just play to have fun.Undaunted, Sare said, Okay, Daddy, who had more fun?丈夫打完〔高尔夫球〕回来，我们四岁的女儿莎拉在门口迎了上去。

爸爸，谁赢了高尔夫球竞赛，是你还是理查叔叔?我和理查叔叔打高尔夫球不是为赢，丈夫推诿说。

英语幽默笑话英语幽默笑话（精选15篇） 在繁忙的学习⼯作中，适时读⼀些幽默笑话，放松⾃⼰，劳逸结合⼗分重要。

下⾯是⼩编为你整理的⼏则英语幽默精彩段⼦，让你笑到停不下来 英语幽默笑话篇1 ⼀、我是单⾝汉 Jack feell off his bicycle and got hurt.A beautiful young nurse asked him to fill forms.Jack finished them and gave them back."Anything else?" The nurse asked."Yes,"Jack thinks for a while and said,"I'm a bachelor." 杰克骑车摔伤,得住院治疗.⼀位年轻美貌的护⼠拿着表格让填.仞杰克填好递上表格"还有什么漏填的?"护⼠问."有!"杰克想了想说,"我是个单⾝汉." ⼆、死于肝癌的⼈100%都吃饭 Wife:You see.According to te statistics on the paper 80% of those who have died of liver cancer have drunk alcoho. Husband:It's okey.To my investigation,all Thespeopleeat meals. 妻⼦：你看这张报纸,据统计,死于肝癌的⼈80%都是喝酒的. 丈夫：那有什么?据我调查,死于肝癌的⼈100%都吃饭的. 三、位置上的冰激凌 "Excuse me,but the seat you've taken is mine." "Yours?Can you prove it?" "Yes,I put a cup of ice cream on it." "请原谅,你占了我的位置." "你的位置?你能征明这点吗?" "能,我在位置上放了杯冰激凌." 四、别⽆选择 One day,Eve asked Adam,"Doyou really love me?" Adam said helplessly,"Do I have any other choice?" ⼀天,夏娃问亚当："你当真爱我吗?" 亚当⽆可奈何地回答："我还有的选择吗?" 五、两个男孩 Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room. The teacher says,"Why are you arguing?" One boy answers,"We found a ten dollor bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie." "You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher,"When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was." The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher. 当⽼师⾛进教室时,两个男孩在争论. ⽼师是说：你们在争论什么? ⼀个男孩回答：‘我们捡到⼀张10块,我们决定把它给⼀个说最⼤的谎的⼈.’ ‘你们应该觉得羞耻’⽼师说,‘当我像你们那么⼤的时候,我连什么是说谎都不知道.’ 两个男孩把钱给了那个⽼师. 六、两只鸟 Teacher:Here are two birds,one is a swallow,the other is sparrow.Now who can tell us which is which? Student:I cannot point out but I know the answer. Teacher:Please tell us. Student:The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow. ⽼师：这⼉有两只鸟,⼀只是⿇雀.谁能指出哪只是燕⼦,哪只是⿇雀吗? 学⽣：我指不出,但我知道答案. ⽼师：请说说看. 学⽣：燕⼦旁边的`就是⿇雀,⿇雀旁边的就是燕⼦. 七、鱼⽹ "Can you tell me what fish net is made,Ann?" "A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl. "你能告诉我鱼⽹是什么做的吗," ⽼师发问道. "把许多⼩孔⽤绳⼦栓在⼀起就成了鱼⽹了." ⼩⼥孩回答道. ⼋、他赢了 Tommy:How is your little brother,Johnny?Johnny:He is ill in bed.He hurt himself. Tommy:That's too bad.How did that happen? Johnny:We played who could lean furthest out of the window,and he won. 汤姆：约翰尼,你⼩弟弟好吗? 约翰尼：他害病卧床了.他受了伤. 汤姆：真糟糕,怎么回事⼉? 约翰尼：我们做游戏,看谁能把⾝⼦探出窗外最远,他赢了. 选我吧 英语幽默笑话篇2 ⼼不在焉的⽼师 An Absent Minded ProfessorA notoriously absentminded professor was one day observed walking along the street withone foot continually in the gutter，the other on the pavement. A pupil meeting him said： “Good evening，professor.How are you? “Well，” answered the professor，“I thought I was all right when I left home，but now I don't know what's the matter with me.I've been limping for the last half hour.” 有⼀天，⼈们看见⼀个有名的⼼不在焉的⽼师在路上⾛，他的⼀只脚⼀直踏在街沟⾥，另⼀只脚踩在⼈⾏道上。

英语幽默笑话带翻译1:A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital. His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill." "I am afraid that he is dead." said the doctor,Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I'm not dead. I'm still alive." "Be quiet, "said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you"医生懂得多一个男人在街上被出租车撞倒送进了医院.他的妻子站在他的床前对医生说:"我想他伤得很厉害."医生说:"我怕他已经死了."听到医生的话,这个男人转动着头说:"我没死,我还活着."妻子说:"安静,医生比你懂得多."2:You can't go without meThe bus is very crowded. A man tries to get on, but no one gives way to him."Hey, let me get on the bus." the man shouts."It's too crowded. You'd better take the next bus." a passenger says to him."But you can't go without me. I'm the driver." the man says. 没有我你们走不了公共汽车上很拥挤.一位男士想上车,但是没有人给他让路. "喂,让我上车"那位男士喊道."车太挤了,你最好坐下一辆"车上的一位乘客对他说."但是没有我你们走不了.我是司机"那位男士说道.3:DrunkOne day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk.""But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman"醉酒一天,父亲与小儿子一道回家;这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄,老是有提不完的问题;他向父亲发问道：“爸爸,‘醉’字是什么意思” “唔,孩子,”父亲回答说,“你瞧那儿站着两个警察;如果我把他们看成了四个,那么我就算醉了;” “可是,爸爸, ”孩子说,“那儿只有一个警察呀”4:HospitalityThe hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a pieceof cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese""In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy.好客由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时,家里没有奶酪了,于是女主人向大家表示歉意;这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子;过了一会儿,他拿着一片奶酪回到房间,把奶酪放在客人的盘子里; 客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说：“孩子,你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好;你在哪里找到的奶酪”“在捕鼠夹上,先生;”那小男孩说;5:Dear white, something you got to know .When I was born, I was black. When I grow up, I am black. When I'm under the sun, I'm black. When I'm cold, I'm black. When I'm afraid, I'm black. When I'm sick, I'm black. When I die, I'm still black. you---white people, When you were born, you were pink. When you grow up, you become white. You're red under the sun. You're blue when you're cold. You are yellow when you're afraid. You're green when you're sick. You're gray when you die. And you, call me "color"亲爱的白种人,有几件事你必须知道; 当我出生时,我是黑色的我长大了,我是黑色的我在阳光下,我是黑色的我寒冷时,我是黑色的我害怕时,我是黑色的我生病了,我是黑色的当我死了,我仍是黑色的;你---白种人,当你出生时,你是粉红色的;你长大了,变成白色的;你在阳光下,你是红色的;你寒冷时,你是青色的;你害怕时,你是黄色的;你生病时,你是绿色的;当你死时,你是灰色的;而你,却叫我「有色人种」6：Where is the fatherTwo brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings. "Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are" "Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father"The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures."兄弟俩在看一些漂亮的油画;“看,”哥哥说,“这些画多漂亮呀”“是啊,”弟弟说道,“可是在所有这些画中,只有妈妈和孩子;那爸爸去哪儿了呢”哥哥想了会儿,然后解释道：“很明显,他当时正在画这些画呗;”7：How Many RabbitsTeacher: Now, Jonathan, if I gave you three rabbits and then the next day I gave you five rabbits, how many rabbits would you haveJonathan:Nine, sir.Teacher: NineJonathan:I've got one already, sir.多少只兔子老师：好,乔纳森,假如我给你三只兔子,第二天我又给你五只,你一共有多少只兔子乔纳森：一共有九只,先生;老师：九只乔纳森：先生,我本来就有一只;8：These Are My JeansAfter going on a diet,a woman felt really good about herself----especially when she was able to fit into a pair of jeans she had outgrown long ago．“Look,look．” she shouted while running downstairs to show her husband．“I can wear my old jeans again．”Her husband looked at her for a long tim e,when said,“Honey,I love you,but these are my jeans．”那是我的裤子一个妇女在减肥一段时间后自我感觉特别好——特别是当她又能穿上很早以前就穿不上的牛仔裤时;她跑下楼冲她丈夫喊道：“快看,快看;我又能穿上以前的裤子了;”她丈夫看了她好一会儿,然后说：“亲爱的,我爱你;但那是我的裤子;”9：The mean man's partyThe notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5th floor, find the door in the middle and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door is open, push it with your foot.""Why use my elbow and foot""Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-handed, are you"吝啬鬼请客一个出了名的吝啬鬼终于决定要请一次客了;他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说：“你上到五楼,找中间那个门,然后用你的胳膊肘按门铃;门开了之后,再用你的脚把门推开;”“为什么要用我的肘和脚呢”“你的双手得拿礼物啊;天哪,你总不会空着手来吧”吝啬鬼回答;10：All I do is pay"My family is just like a nation," Mr. Brown told his colleague. "My wife is the minister of finance, my mother-in-law is the minister of war, and my daughter is foreign secretary." "Sounds interesting, " his colleague replied. "And what is your position""I'm the people. All I do is pay."我要做的一切就是付钱布朗先生告诉同事说：“我的家简直就象一个国家一样;我妻子是财政部长;我岳母是作战部长,我女儿是外交秘书;”“听上去挺有意思的,”他的同事说,“那你的职务是什么呢”“我就是老百姓;我要做的一切就是付钱;”。

经典英语笑话8篇下面是店铺整理的一些经典英语笑话，希望对大家有帮助。

经典英语笑话：A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. He takes his first sip and sets it down. While he is looking around the bar, a monkey swings down and steals the pint of beer from him before he is able to stop the monkey.The man asks the barman who owns the monkey. The barman replies the piano player. The man walks over to the piano player and says "Do you know your monkey stole my beer." The pianist replies "No, but if you hum it, I'll play it."一男子去酒吧，点了一杯啤酒。

他喝了一口放下。

当他环视酒吧时，发现一只猴子荡下来，在他阻止之前，偷走了啤酒。

该男子问酒吧招待，这只猴子是谁的。

服务员回答说是钢琴手的。

男子走到钢琴手面前问：“你知道你的猴子偷了我的啤酒吗?”钢琴手回答说：“没有，但是如果你能哼唱，我会为你演奏的。

”经典英语笑话：Traveling salesmen make their living visiting as many customers as possible. So speeding to get from one appointment to the next is not unheard-of. Which is how I got pulled over by a highway patrolman. "Don't you ever look at the speedometer?" the officer scolded. Before I knew it, the truth spilled from my mouth. "As fast as I was going," I admitted, "I was afraid to take my eyes off the road."因为旅行推销员为了谋生需要拜访尽量多的客户，所以超速飞车赶场对于他们来说也不是没有过的事情。

英语小笑话爆笑带翻译英语小笑话大全爆笑带翻译（精选8篇）笑话一般比较短小,喜剧性很强,普遍存在于人们的日常生活中。

笑话的娱乐作用可以减轻人的心理压力,促进身体健康。

店铺精心收集了英语小笑话大全爆笑带翻译（精选8篇），供大家欣赏学习!英语小笑话爆笑带翻译篇1While the doctor was looking over the man, his wife kept fussing(烦躁，发牢骚) andjabbering(快而含糊地说) all the time. The doctor told her: "Your husband must get absolute rest and quiet." Then he left some sleeping pills.The man's wife asked, "When do I dive them to my husband?" The doctor replied, "No, they are not for him. They are for you. You need them."有个人生病了。

他的妻子请了一位医生来给他治病。

医生在给他治疗的时候，他的妻子一直大惊小怪，神神叨叨地紧张不安。

医生对她说：“你的丈夫必须绝对休息和保持安静。

” 然后他就留下了一些安眠药。

她问医生：“什么时候给我丈夫吃这些药呀!”医生回答说：“不用，这些药不是给他吃的，是给你吃的，你需要。

”英语小笑话爆笑带翻译篇2She was so excited and anxious to tell him. She said, "I've bought two presents for your birthday, dear. I would tell you now because I can't wait until that day. One present is a mat to put in front of my dressing table. Another one is a bronze statuette(小雕像) for the drawing room mantelpiece." And then she added: "Now me?"Her husband thought for a while and then replied: "I'd better get you a new razor and some ties, so that we may exchange presents with each other."有个女人给她的丈夫买了生日礼物。

英语幽默笑话（优秀10篇）英国人有他们独特的英式幽默，他们流传的英语冷笑话让人会心一笑，今天，小编给同学们收集、整理了几则特别有趣的英语冷笑话，希望大家能开心开心，一起来看看吧! 篇一一、The little girl did not like the look of the barking dog.It#39;s all right, said a gentleman, don#39;t be afraid. Don#39;t you know the proverb: Barking dogs don#39;t bite?Ah, yes, answered the little girl. I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?一个小女孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。

“没有关系，”一位先生说，“不用害怕，你知道这条谚语吗：吠狗不咬人。

;”“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道吗？”二、One student to another: How are your English lessons coming along?Fine. I used to be one who couldn#39;t understand the English men, and now it#39;s the English men who can#39;t understand me.一位学生对另一位说：“你的英语最近学的怎么样？”“很好，我过去不懂英国人说话，可现在是英国人不懂我的话了。

”三、An old lady who was very deaf and who thought everything too dear, went into a shop and asked the shopman:#39; How much this stuff?#39;#39;Seven dollars, Madam, it is very cheap.#39;The lady said, #39;It is too much, give it to me for fourteen.#39;#39;I did not say seventeen dollars, but seven.#39;#39;It is still too much,#39; replie()d the old lady, #39;give it to me for five.#39;一位耳聋并且总是嫌东西太贵的老太太走进一家商店。

爆笑的英文小笑话大全笑死人笑话一般是短小精悍、句子结构紧凑、运用艺术手段造成巨大的夸张和想象,使矛盾发展到最尖锐的地步,然后突然得到意外的解决,从而生成强烈的喜剧效果。

小编精心收集了爆笑的英文小笑话，供大家欣赏学习!爆笑的英文小笑话篇1骗子，骗子A wife went to the police station with her next-door neighbor to report that her husband wasmissing.老婆与隔壁邻居到警察局报案说她的老公失踪了。

The policeman asked her for a description.警察要求，她形容一下。

She said,"He is 35 years old,6 feet 4 inches,has dark eyes,dark wavy hair,an athleticbuild,weighs 185 pounds,is soft-spoken ,and is good to the children."她说：“他三十五岁，六尺四寸，黑眼睛，波浪状的深色头发;体格健壮，体重185磅，说话很轻，而且对小孩子很好。

”The next-door neighbor protested,隔壁邻居期提出反驳说："Your husband is 5 feet 4 inches,chubby,bald,has a big mouth,and is mean to your children."“你老公五尺四寸，胖嘟嘟的，秃头，有一个太嘴巴，而且对你的小孩很刻薄。

”The wife replied,"Yes,but who wants"THIS KIND OF STUFF"back?"老婆回答说：“你说对了，可是谁会要这种没用的废物回来呀?”爆笑的英文小笑话篇2怕老婆的老公A henpecked husband was advised by a psychiatrist to asserthimself.有一位怕老婆的老公接受心理治疗师的建议要坚持自己的主见。

英语搞笑笑话6篇幽默寓于笑话之中，它是笑话的精料，智慧之所在。

笑话是幽默的载体，一个成功的笑话能流传千古。

下面是店铺整理的英语搞笑笑话，欢迎大家阅读!英语搞笑笑话一：How can I get into heaven 我怎么才能上天堂"If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the poor, would I get into heaven?" I asked the children in my Sunday school class."No!" the children all answered."If I cleaned the church everyday, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would I get into heaven?"Again, the answer was, "No!""Well, " I continued, "then how can I get into heaven?"A five-year-old boy shouted out, "You gotta be dead!"“如果我把房子和车卖了，在车库举行义卖, 并把所有的钱给穷人，我能进天堂吗?”我问主日学校的孩子。

孩子们齐声回答：“不能!”“那如果我每天都打扫教堂，给院子的草坪割草，并且把东西都收拾得干净整洁，我会上天堂吗?”回答还是：“不能!”“好吧，”我继续问, “那我要怎样才能升天堂呢?”一个五岁的男孩儿叫道：“你得死了才行!”英语搞笑笑话二：I Want Her to go NutsMrs. Flinders decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, "Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets and a ruby pendant.""But you're not wearing any of those things.""I know," said Mrs. Flinders." It's in case I should die beforemy husband. I'm sure he'd remarry right away, and I want her to go nuts looking for the jewelry."福林德斯夫人决定让人给她画肖像。

英语爆笑笑话9篇下面是学习啦我整理的英语爆笑笑话，希望对大家有关怀。

英语爆笑笑话：Have a neuropathy, I do not know where to get a handful of pistols, he is gone in a little black alley. When suddenly a young man, neuropathy apart from anything else its guns on the ground by pointing to his head. Asked one plus a few zero. Terrified young people, thought for a long time. Answer, equals two. Neuropathy of the killing he did not hesitate. And then get pulled in his arms, said a cold, you know too much ...有一个神经病，不知道从哪里弄来了一把手枪，他走在一条小黑胡同里。

突然遇上一个年轻人，神经病二话不说将其按在地上用枪指着他的头。

问道，一加一得几。

年轻人吓坏了，深思了很久。

回答，等于二。

神经病毫不迟疑的打死了他。

然后把抢拽在怀里，冰冷的说了一句，你知道的太多了英语爆笑笑话：Boy: Hi, didnt we go on dates before? Onec or twice?Girl: Mustve been once. I never make the same mistake twice.男孩：嗨，我们之前是不是约会过，是一次还是两次，我遗忘了。

女孩：应当只有一次吧，我从不犯两次同样的错误。

英语爆笑笑话：HospitalityThe hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guests plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese? In the rat-trap, sir, replied the boy.好客由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时，家里没有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。

20个英语笑话爆笑超短的欣赏一些幽默的英语笑话，能提高我们阅读英语的兴趣，从而提高英语的阅读能力，今天店铺在这里为大家分享20个英语笑话爆笑超短，希望大家喜欢这些英语笑话!20个英语笑话爆笑超短篇一1.Before the final examination, Tom told his mother, "Mom, I had a dream last night that I'd passed today's exam.""Don't trust dreams, dear. It is said what you experience in dreams usually turns out to be the opposite." Mother replied."Then I do hope I'll fail the other subjects in my dream tonight," Tom said.在期末考试之前，汤姆告诉他的母亲：“妈妈，我昨天晚上做了一个梦，梦见我通过了今天的考试。

”“不要相信梦，亲爱的。

据说梦中的经历通常与现实相反。

”妈妈答道。

“那么，我真希望在今晚的梦中，我的其他功课都不及格。

”汤姆说。

2.On the way home after watching a ballet performance, the kindergarten teacher asked her students what they thought of it. The smallest girl in the class said she wished the dancers were taller so that they would not have to stand on their toes all the time.在观看完芭蕾舞表演回家的路上，幼儿园老师问学生的观后感。

经典英语笑话6篇英语笑话是指以一句英文短语或一个英文故事让说话者和听者之间觉得好笑,或是产生幽默感,笑话是一种经过艺术加工的语言形式,是艺术化的语言,笑话是一种艺术方法。

下面是店铺整理的英语爆笑笑话，欢迎大家阅读!英语笑话一：我要做的一切就是付钱!All I do is pay"My family is just like a nation," Mr. Brown told his colleague. "Mywife is the minister of finance, my mother-in-law is the minister of war,and my daughter is foreign secretary.""Sounds interesting, " his colleague replied. "And what is yourposition?""I’m the people. All I do is pay."布朗先生告诉同事说：“我的家简直就象一个国家一样。

我妻子是财政部长。

我岳母是作战部长，我女儿是外交秘书。

”“听上去挺有意思的，”他的同事说，“那你的职务是什么呢?”“我就是老百姓。

我要做的一切就是付钱。

”英语笑话二：喂狗 For the DogThe family seated in a restaurant had finished their dinner when Father Called over the waiter."My son has left quite a lot of meat on his plate," explained Father, "Could you give me a bag so that I can take it home for the dog?""Gosh, Dad!" exclaimed the excited boy. "Have we got a dog then?"一家人在饭馆里吃过晚饭，父亲把服务生叫了过来。

幽默英语小笑话12篇下面是店铺整理的幽默英语小笑话，希望大家会喜欢!幽默英语小笑话：The MonkeyA man walks into a bar and orders a beer. He takes his first sip and sets it down. While he is looking around the bar, a monkey swings down and steals the pint of beer from him before he is able to stop the monkey.The man asks the barman who owns the monkey. The barman replies the piano player. The man walks over to the piano player and says "Do you know your monkey stole my beer." The pianist replies "No, but if you hum it, I'll play it."一男子去酒吧，点了一杯啤酒。

他喝了一口放下。

当他环视酒吧时，发现一只猴子荡下来，在他阻止之前，偷走了啤酒。

该男子问酒吧招待，这只猴子是谁的。

服务员回答说是钢琴手的。

男子走到钢琴手面前问：“你知道你的猴子偷了我的啤酒吗?”钢琴手回答说：“没有，但是如果你能哼唱，我会为你演奏的。

”幽默英语小笑话：绝配A wealthy matron is so proud of a valuable antique vase that she decides to have her bedroom painted the same color as the vase. Several painters try to match the shade, but none comes close enough to satisfy the eccentric woman.Eventually, a painter approaches who is confident he can mix the proper color. The woman is pleased with the result, and the painter becomes famous.Years later, he retires and turns the business over to his son."Dad, “says the son, there’s something I’ve got to know. How did you get those walls to match the vase so perfectly?""Son”, the father replies, I painted the vase."一个富有的主妇很是骄傲因为她收藏了一件非常有价值的古董花瓶，于是她决定把卧室粉刷成与花瓶同样的颜色。

英语经典笑话8篇店铺给大家带来了英语经典笑话，让你开心快乐每一天!英语经典笑话一：1.What dog can jump higher than a building?什么狗比大楼跳的还高?Anydog, buildings can't jump!任何一只狗，大楼又跳不起来。

英语经典笑话二：2.Teacher: whoever answers my next question, can go home. 老师：谁能回到我下一个问题，谁就可以回家了。

One boy throws his bag out the window.一个小男孩把书包扔到窗外。

Teacher: who just threw that?!老师：谁刚刚把书包扔出去了?Boy: Me! I’m going home now.男孩：我!我现在要回家了。

英语经典笑话三：3.What has a head, a tail, and no body?什么有头、有尾，但是没有身体?A coin!硬币。

英语经典笑话四：4.What has one eye but cannot see?什么有一只眼睛，却看不见?A needle.针。

英语经典笑话五：5.Wife: "How would you describe me?"妻子：你会怎么形容我呢?Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."丈夫：ABCDEFGHIJK.Wife: "What does that mean?"妻子：那是什么意思?Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot."丈夫：迷人的、魅力的、可爱的、令人愉悦的、优雅的、时髦的、漂亮的和火辣的。

Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"妻子：哇，谢谢，但是“IJK”是什么意思呢?Husband: "I'm just kidding!"丈夫：开个玩笑!英语经典笑话六：Lawyer and EngineerA lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the Caribbean. The lawyer said, "I'm here because my house burned down, and the insurance company paid for everything.""That's quite a coincidence," said the engineer. "I'm here because my house were destroyed by a flood, and my insurance company also paid for everything."The lawyer looked somewhat confused. "How do you start a flood?" he asked.一个律师与一个工程师在加勒比海边钓鱼。