0- 开课前的英文小笑话整理-

英语笑话十则以下是为您创作的英语笑话十则，希望能给您带来欢乐！1、 Teacher: ＂John, if you have five apples in your hand and I take away two, how many apples do you have left?＂John: ＂In my hand? None, because you took them away!＂我记得有一次在课堂上，老师讲这个笑话的时候，全班同学都哄堂大笑。

那个场景真的特别有趣，大家笑得前仰后合，有的同学甚至都笑出了眼泪。

就好像那一刻，所有的学习压力都被这轻松的笑话一扫而空。

2、 Teacher: ＂Why are you late, Tom?＂Tom: ＂Because of the sign＂Teacher: ＂What sign?＂Tom: ＂The one that says ＇School Ahead, Go Slow'＂这让我想起了小时候上学，我有个同学也总是找各种奇怪的理由迟到，每次老师听完都是又好气又好笑。

3、 Customer: ＂Waiter, this soup is too salty＂Waiter: ＂Yes, sir It's really salty Maybe the salt went on vacation and brought all its friends＂就像我们平时出去吃饭，如果碰到菜不好吃，大家可能就会这样互相调侃，一下子氛围就变得轻松起来。

4、 Dad: ＂Did you pass your English test?＂Kid: ＂Yes, but I didn't fail it either＂记得有一回，我邻居家的孩子考了个模棱两可的成绩，回家跟他爸爸这么说的时候，他爸爸那一脸无奈的表情，真是让人忍俊不禁。

5、 Patient: ＂Doctor, I have a problem I can't remember anything＂Doctor: ＂How long have you had this problem?＂Patient: ＂How long have I had what problem?＂这种糊涂的对话，是不是像极了有时候我们自己大脑突然短路的瞬间？6、 Teacher: ＂If I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits do you have?＂Student: ＂Seven!＂Teacher: ＂How do you make seven?＂Student: ＂Because I already have one at home!＂想到之前参加同学聚会，大家回忆起上学时候的这些趣事，还是会笑得停不下来。

1．we two who and who？咱俩谁跟谁阿2．how are you ? how old are you?怎么是你，怎么老是你？3．you don"t bird me,i don"t bird you你不鸟我，我也不鸟你4．you have seed i will give you some color to see see,pothers ！together up ！你有种，我要给你点颜色瞧瞧，兄弟们，一起上！5．hello everybody!if you have something to say,then say!if you have nothing to say,go home!! 有事起奏，无事退朝6．you me you me彼此彼此7．you give me stop!!你给我站住！8．know is know noknow is noknow知之为知之，不知为不知...9．watch sister表妹10．dragon born dragon,chicken born chicken,mouse" son can make hole!!龙生龙，凤生凤，老鼠的儿子大地洞11．american chinese not enough美中不足12．one car e one car go ,two car pengpeng,people die车祸现场描述13．heart flower angry open心花怒放14．go past no mistake past走过路过，不要错过15．小明：i am sorry!老外：i am sorry too!小明：i am sorry three!老外：what are you sorry for?小明：i am sorry five!16．if you want money,i have no;if you want life,i have one!要钱没有，要命一条17．i call li old big. toyear 25.我叫李老大，今年25。

课前三分钟关于课前三分钟英语笑话关于课前三分钟英语笑话关于课前三分钟英语笑话关于课前三分钟英语笑话：Shoulda Said This guy walks into a bar with his golden retriever. “Hey, can I get a drink on the house if my dog talks for you“ "Dogs can"t talk, pal. But if you can prove to me yours does, I"ll give you a drink. If not, I get to kick your ass." "Okay," says the guy. He turns to his dog. "Okay fella. Tell me -- what is on top of your doghouse" "Roof!" The man turns and smiles at the bartender. "THAT ain"t talking! Any dog can bark!" "Okay boy. Tell me -- how does sandpaper feel" "Ruff!" "What the hell are you tryin" to pull, mister" "Okay, okay," says the man. "One more question please. Okay buddy, tell me -- who is the greatest ball player who ever lived" "Ruth." The bartender beats the hell out of the guy and throws onto the sidewalk outside of the bar, then throws the dog out next to him. The dog stands up and looks at the guy. "Geez. D"ya think I shoulda said DiMaggio" 关于课前三分钟英语笑话：A Second Opinion A man runs into the vet"s office carrying his dog, screaming for help. The vet rushes him back to an examination room and has him put his dog down on the examination table. The vet examines the still, limp body and after a few moments tells the man that his dog, regrettably, is dead. The man, clearly agitated and not willing to accept this, demands a second opinion. The vet goes into the back room and comes out with a cat and puts the cat down next to the dog"s body. The cat sniffs the body, walks from head to tail poking and sniffing the dog"s body and finally looks at the vet and meows. The vet looks at the man and says, "I"m sorry, but the cat thinks that your dog is dead too."The man is still unwilling to accept that his dog is dead. The vetbrings in a black Labrador. The lab sniffs the body, walks from head to tail, and finally looks at the vet and barks. The vet looks at the man and says, "I"m sorry, but the lab thinks your dog is dead too." The man, finally resigned to the diagnosis, thanks the vet and asks how much he owes. The vet answers, "$650." "$650 to tell me my dog is dead" exclaimed the man... "Well," the vet replies, "I would only have charged you $50 for my initial diagnosis. The additional $600 was for the cat scan and lab tests." 关于课前三分钟英语笑话：Shoulda Said This guy walks into a bar with his golden retriever. "Hey, can I get a drink on the house if my dog talks for you" "Dogs can"t talk, pal. But if you can prove to me yours does, I"ll give you a drink. If not, I get to kick your ass." "Okay," says the guy. He turns to his dog. "Okay fella. Tell me -- what is on top of your doghouse" "Roof!" The man turns and smiles at the bartender. "THAT ain"t talking! Any dog can bark!" "Okay boy. Tell me -- how does sandpaper feel" "Ruff!" "What the hell are you tryin" to pull, mister" "Okay, okay," says the man. "One more question please. Okay buddy, tell me -- who is the greatest ball player who ever lived" "Ruth." The bartender beats the hell out of the guy and throws onto the sidewalk outside of the bar, then throws the dog out next to him. The dog stands up and looks at the guy. "Geez. D"ya think I shoulda said DiMaggio" 关于课前三分钟英语笑话：The Mime and the LionOne day an out of work mime is visiting the zoo and attempts to earn some money as a street performer. However, as soon as he starts to draw a crowd, the zookeeper grabs him and drags him into his office. The zookeeper explains to the mime that the zoo"s most popular attraction, a gorilla, has died suddenly. The keeper fears that attendance at the zoo will fall off. He offers the mime a job to dress up as the gorilla until they can get another one. The mime accepts. The next morning, before the crowd arrives, the mime puts on thegorilla suit and enters the cage. He discovers that it"s a great job. He can sleep all he wants, play and make fun of people and he draws bigger crowds than he ever did as a mime. However, eventually the crowds tire of him and he gets bored just swinging on tires. He begins to notice that the people are paying more attention to the lion in the cage next to his. Not wanting to lose the attention of his audience, he climbs to the top of his cage, crawls across a partition, and dangles from the top to the lion"s cage. Of course, this makes the lion furious, but the crowd loves it. At the end of the day the zookeeper comes and gives the mime a raise for being such a good attraction as a gorilla. Well, this goes on for some time. The mime keeps taunting the lion, the crowds grow larger, and his salary keeps going up. Then one terrible day when he is dangling over the furious lion, he slips and falls. The mime is terrified. The lion gathers itself and prepares to pounce. The mime is so scared that he begins to run round and round the cage with the lion close behind. Finally, the mime starts screaming and yelling, "Help, Help me!", but the lion is quick andpounces. The mime soon finds himself flat on his back looking up at the angry lion and the lion says, "Shut up you idiot! Do you want to get us both fired"。

适合在英语课堂上讲的笑话笑话是文化的重要组成部分,通过笑话,我们可以了解一个国家的文化内涵。

下面是店铺带来的适合在英语课堂上讲的笑话，欢迎阅读!适合在英语课堂上讲的笑话篇一酒吧里的猴子The MonkeyA man walks into a bar and orders a beer. He takes his first sip and sets it down. While he is looking around the bar, a monkey swings down and steals the pint of beer from him before he is able to stop the monkey.The man asks the barman who owns the monkey. The barman replies the piano player. The man walks over to the piano player and says "Do you know your monkey stole my beer." The pianist replies "No, but if you hum it, I'll play it."中文翻译：一男子去酒吧，点了一杯啤酒。

他喝了一口放下。

当他环视酒吧时，发现一只猴子荡下来，在他阻止之前，偷走了啤酒。

该男子问酒吧招待，这只猴子是谁的。

服务员回答说是钢琴手的。

男子走到钢琴手面前问：“你知道你的猴子偷了我的啤酒吗?”钢琴手回答说：“没有，但是如果你能哼唱，我会为你演奏的。

”适合在英语课堂上讲的笑话篇二对不起，本店不找零钱A friend and I were standing in line at a fast-food restaurant, waiting to place our order. There was a big sign posted. "No bills larger than $20 will be accepted."The woman in front of us, pointing to the sign, remarked, "Believe me, if I HAD a bill larger than $20, I wouldn't be eating here."中文翻译我和一个朋友在快餐店排队订餐，那里很醒目地写着，不接受超过20美元的大钞(请自备零钱)。

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文档下载后可定制修改，请根据实际需要进行调整和使用，谢谢!并且，本店铺为大家提供各种类型的经典范文，如工作总结、工作计划、策划方案、规章制度、合同协议、条据文书、心得体会、教学资料、作文大全、其他范文等等，想了解不同范文格式和写法，敬请关注!Download tips: This document is carefully compiled by this editor. I hope that after you download it, it can help you solve practical problems. The document can be customized and modified after downloading, please adjust and use it according to actual needs, thank you!Moreover, our store provides various types of classic sample essays for everyone, such as work summaries, work plans, planning plans, rules and regulations, contract agreements, documents, experiences, teaching materials, complete essays, and other sample essays. If you want to learn about different sample formats and writing methods, please pay attention!英语小笑话英语小笑话（通用20篇）英语小笑话作为一种城市化的民间口头创作体裁，是一种重要的交际手段。

英语课前一分钟小笑话大全英语课前一分钟小笑话篇一点到痛处As a young lawyer working on my first big case，I was sitting in federal district court watching a prominent attorney question a witness. The attorney was trying，unsuc-cessfully, to elicit certain information. Finally the judge turned to the witness and asked a question that prompted the appropriate response.作为一个年径的律师，当我经手第一个大案时，我坐在联邦区法院里现看一名有声望的律师提问证人。

这位律师多次试图引出证人说出有用的证词，但都失败了。

最后该法官来问证人了，只见他跟证人说了一句话，就从证人那儿得到了满意的回答。

"Thank you，Your Honor，"the attorney said. "How is it that you were able.to get the cru某 of the matter with one question after I had tried three times?"“谢谢，尊敬的阁下.”律师说:“您跟他说了句什么就解决了我连问三次都问不出来的难题的呢?”"Easy,"replied the judge. "I'm not paid by the hour.”“容易，”法官说:“道理很简单，我不是按小时拿钱。

”英语课前一分钟小笑话篇二消除谈话障碍We own a small foreign car，the hinges of which are e某posed to the weather and sometimes squeak. One day I was oiling the hinges when our landlord walked by.”What are you trying to do?"he asked. "Take the foreign accent out of it?"我们有辆进口车，由于纹链幕露在外雨琳日晒的，所以，有时吱吱响。

少儿英语课前三分钟笑话1.少儿英语课前三分钟笑话篇一Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents' hou se.At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their praye rs, when the younger one began praying at the top of his lungs: "I pra y for a bicycle.I pray for a new toy."His older brother leaned over, nudged him and said, "Why are you s houting your prayers? God isn't deaf."To which the little brother replied, "No, but Grandma is!"孩子的祈祷两个小男孩在祖父母家过夜。

睡觉的时候，两个小男孩跪在床边开始祈祷，这时小一些的孩子扯开嗓子大声喊道：“我祈求得到一辆自行车。

我祈求有一个新玩具。

”他的哥哥靠过来，用肘轻碰他说：“你为什么这么大声喊叫呢？上帝又不是聋子。

”弟弟回答说：“是的，可是奶奶听不到呀！”2.少儿英语课前三分钟笑话篇二A professor was giving a big test one day to his students.He hand ed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait.Once the test was over the students all handed the tests back in.T he professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying "A dollar per point."The next class the professor handed the tests back out.This studen t got back his test and $64 change.一天，教授正在给学生们监考。

爆笑的简短英文小笑话大全笑话是一种用来逗笑取乐的文体。

笑话,不仅能让同学们在日常生活和学习中不时地会心一笑,还能从中学习到不少的英语知识。

本文是爆笑的简短英文小笑话，希望对大家有帮助!爆笑的简短英文小笑话：Electric ChairA murderer, sitting in the electric chair, was about to be executed. "Have you any last requests? asked the chaplain. "Yes," replied the murderer. "Will you hold my hand?"爆笑的简短英文小笑话：Final ExamAn eccentric philosophy professor gave a one question final exam after a semester dealing with a broad array of topics.The class was already seated and ready to go when the professor picked up his chair, plopped it on his desk and wrote on the board: "Using everything we have learned this semester, prove that this chair does not exist."Fingers flew, erasers erased, notebooks were filled in furious fashion. Some students wrote over 30 pages in one hour attempting to refute the existence of the chair. One member of the class however, was up and finished in less than a minute.Weeks later when the grades were posted, the rest of the group wondered how he could have gotten an A when he had barely written anything at all.His answer consisted of two words: "What chair?"爆笑的简短英文小笑话：WitnessA small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand in a trial - a grandmotherly, elderly woman.He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?" She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy. And frankly, you've beena big disappointment to me. You lie, you're a cheat, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a rising big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Williams, do you know the defense attorney?"She again replied, "Why, yes I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. I used to baby-sit him for his parents. And he, too, has been a real disappointment to me. He's lazy,bigoted, he has a drinking problem. The man can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the shoddiest in the entire state. Yes, I know him."At this point, the judge rapped the courtroom to silence and called both counselors to the bench. In a very quiet voice, he said with menace, "If either of you ask her if she knows me, you'll be jailed for contempt!"爆笑的简短英文小笑话：Pig In BullbarA farmhand in Australia was out checking farm fences in his Landcruiser when he hit something. He radioed the farm for advice."There's a pig stuck in the bullbar and is still alive but he's kicking and squealing so much I can't get him free" he said."Okay," said the boss. "In the back of the 'cruiser there's a pistol. Put it up to the pig's head and shoot it. When its body goes all limp you'll be able to get it off the bullbar and throw it into the bush."About 45 minutes later the farmhand called in again, "I did what you said, boss. I shot the pig in the head, he went all limpand I got him out of the bullbar, no problem. But I still can't go on.""Why not?" Asked the boss. "What's the problem?""Well it's his motorbike ... the flashing blue light is jammed under the wheel-arch."爆笑的简短英文小笑话：Singing BullfrogA man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "If I show you a really good trick, will you give me a free drink?" The bartender considers it, then agrees. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano. The rat stretches, cracks his knuckles, and proceeds to play the blues.After the man finished his drink, he asked the bartender, "If I show you an even better trick, will you give me free drinks for the rest of the evening?" The bartender agrees, thinking that no trick could possibly be better than the first. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano. The rat stretches, cracks his knuckles, and proceeds to play the blues. The man reaches into another pocket and pulls out a small bullfrog, who begins to sing along with the rat's music.While the man is enjoying his beverages, a stranger confronts him and offers him $100,000.00 for the bullfrog. "Sorry," the man replies, "he's not for sale." The stranger increases the offer to $250,000.00 cash up front. "No," he insists, "he's not for sale." The stranger again increases the offer, this time to $500,000.00 cash. The man finally agrees, and turns the frog over to the stranger in exchange for the money."Are you insane?" the bartender demanded. "That frog could have been worth millions to you, and you let him go for a mere$500,000!" "Don't worry about it." the man answered. "The frog was really nothing special. You see, the rat's a ventriloquist."。

适合课堂表演的英语笑话笑话不仅能够折射出社会生活中的方方面面,而且,笑话可以在说笑中蕴含着人们对于美好生活的期盼和诉求。

店铺分享适合课堂表演的英语笑话，希望可以帮助大家!适合课堂表演的英语笑话：A physics ExaminationOnce in a physics examination, Nick finished the first question very soon, while his classmates were thinking it hard.The question was: When it thunders why do we see the lighting first, then hear the thunderrolls?Nick's answer: Because our eyes are before ears.一次物理考试在一次物理考试时，当同学们都还在苦思冥想时，尼克很快就答好了第一个问题。

这个问题是：为什么在打雷时，我们总是先看到闪电后听到雷声?尼克的回答是：因为眼睛在前，耳朵在后。

适合课堂表演的英语笑话：Prepare YourselfA story around campus has it taht a student once sent a telegram to his parents reading: "Mom -flunked all courses. Kicked out of school. Prepare Pop."Two days later he received a response: "Pop prepared. Prepare yourself."自己做好准备校园里流传着这样的故事：一个学生一次给父母拍了一份电报，上面写着：“妈妈，我所有功课都不及格，被学校开除。

让爸爸做好准备。

英语课前三分钟笑话【英语短篇笑话两到三分钟带翻译】人之所以异于禽兽,最明显的一条就是爱看人出笑话,甚至连自己出的笑话也感兴趣,收藏笑话书是大家共同的爱好,特别是相声界和漫画界的人。

下面是小编带来的英语短篇笑话带翻译，欢迎阅读!英语短篇笑话带翻译篇一TwobirlsTeacher:Herearetwobirds,oneisaswallow,theotherissparrow .Nowwhocantelluswhichiswhich?Student:IcannotpointoutbutIknowtheanswer.Teacher:Pleasetellus.Student:Theswallowisbesidethesparrowandthesparrowisbesi detheswallow.两只鸟老师：这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。

谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗?学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。

老师：请说说看。

学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。

英语短篇笑话带翻译篇二TheFishNet"Canyoutellmewhatfishnetismade,Ann?""Alotoflittleholestiedtogetherwithstrings."repliedtheli ttlegirl.鱼网"你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安?"老师发问道。

"把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。

"小女孩回答道。

英语短篇笑话带翻译篇三TheNewTeacherGeorgecomesfromschoolonthefirstofSeptember. "George,howdidyoulikeyournewteacher?"askedhismother."Ididn\'tlikeher,Mother,becauseshesaidthatthreeandthree weresixandthenshesaidthattwoandfourweresixtoo....."新老师9月1日，乔治放学回到家里。

课前三分钟英文短笑话笑话作为一种城市化的民间口头创作体裁,是一种重要的交际手段。

学习啦我整理了课前三分钟英文短笑话，欢迎阅读!课前三分钟英文短笑话：救出哪幅画?A newspaper organized a contest for the best answer to the question: If a fire broke out in the Louvre, and if you could only save one painting, which one would you carry out?一份报纸组织了一场竞赛，为下面的问题征集最正确答案："假如卢浮宫起了火，而你只能救出一幅画，你将救出哪一幅?'The winning reply was: The one nearest the exit.获奖的答案是："最接近门口的那一幅。

'课前三分钟英文短笑话：你爸爸帮你了吗?One day, Tims mathematics teacher looked at his homework and saw that he had got all his sums right. The teacher was very pleased-and rather surprised. He called Tim to his desk and said to him, You got all your homework right this time, Tim.What happened? Did your father help you?一天，蒂姆的数学老师看了他的作业，觉察他全做对了。

老师很高兴，同时也十分惊异。

他把蒂姆叫到桌前说：蒂姆，你这次的作业全都做对了，怎么回事?你爸爸帮你做了吗?No, sir. He was too busy last night, so I had to do it allmyself, said Tim.不，先生，我爸爸昨天很忙，我不得不全由自己做了。

小学英语课前三分钟小笑话带翻译一些幽默的英语故事，能提高我们阅读英语的兴趣，有些英语课前会将一些有趣的英语笑话。

今天店铺在这里为大家分享一些小学英语课前三分钟小笑话，欢迎大家阅读!小学英语课前三分钟小笑话(一)答非所问的各种搞笑对话What do sheep say to each other at Christmastime?绵羊在圣诞节会对其它同伴说什么?Merry Christmas to ewe(发音同you)!母羊圣诞节快乐。

(祝你圣诞节快乐)What's the best thing to put into Christmas dinner?把什么放进圣诞大餐上最好。

Your teeth!你的牙齿。

Why should Christmas dinner always be well done?为什么圣诞节都要吃大餐?So you can say "Merry Crispness"!因为你就可以说“吃得快乐”Knock Knock.咚咚咚。

Who's there?谁呀Mary.玛丽Mary who?哪个Mary?Mary Christmas!Mary Christmas(圣诞节快乐)A definition of Christmas:圣诞节的定义：The time when everyone gets "Santa"-mental.人人都为圣诞老人疯狂。

What did one Christmas cracker say to the other Christmas cracker?一个圣诞节爆竹会对另一个圣诞节爆竹说什么?My POP is bigger than yours!我的爆炸声比你的爆炸声大What do you call an elf who steals gift wrap from the rich and gives it to the poor?你把从富人家偷来礼物送给穷人家的精灵叫什么?Ribbon Hood!(Robin Hood)What comes at the end of Christmas Day?圣诞节Christmas Day最后的是什么?The letter "Y"!字母YWhat do angry mice send to each other in December?生气的老鼠在12月给每个人送什么?Cross mouse cards! 穿过老鼠卡(Christmas Card圣诞贺卡)What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?亚当在圣诞节前一晚说什么?It's Christmas, Eve!Eve，是圣诞节了。

【英语笑话爆笑超短】英语课前三分钟笑话英语笑话爆笑超短英语笑话爆笑超短超短爆笑英语笑话篇一There was once a wife so jealous that when her husband came home one night and she couldn’tfind hairs on his jackets she yelled at him,“ Great, so now you“re cheating on me with a baldwoman!" 从前有个妻子醋劲很大。

一天晚上丈夫回家，她没有从他衣服上找到头发，于是大叫：“好啊，现在你开始和秃头的女人骗我了!” The next night, when she didn’t smell any perfume, she yelled again by saying, "She’s not onlybald, but she’s too cheap to buy any perfume!" 第二天晚上，她没有从丈夫衣服上闻到香水味，于是又大叫：“她不但是个秃头，而且很穷酸，连香水都不买。

” 超短爆笑英语笑话篇二I Got an A in Maths 我数学得了A Thomas is showing his report card to his father, who looks delighted. Father calls to his wife, "Hey, Marion, come and look at this report -- I got an A in Maths. 托马斯把自己的成绩单拿给爸爸看，爸爸高兴的叫妻子：“嗨，玛丽恩，快来看这张成绩单-我数学得了A。

” 超短爆笑英语笑话篇三All I do is pay 我要做的一切就是付钱"My family is just like a nation," Mr. Brown told his colleague. "My wife is the minister of finance,my mother-in-law is the minister of war, and my daughter is foreign secretary." 布朗先生告诉同事说：“我的家简直就象一个国家一样。

英语课前一分钟笑话大全笑话一般比较短小,喜剧性很强,普遍存在于人们的日常生活中。

笑话的娱乐作用可以减轻人的心理压力,促进身体健康。

下面是店铺带来的课前一分钟英语笑话，欢迎阅读!课前一分钟英语笑话篇一An open-book exam 开卷考试On the day of our final exam at my Community College in Santa Maria, Calif., we heard that the bookstore had changed its policy and would buy back our business-management textbooks. Before class, several of us dashed over to the store and sold our books. We were seated and waiting for the test when our professor announced that considering the difficulty of the final, it would be an open-book exam.我在加利福尼亚的圣玛丽亚市一所社区大学读书。

期末考试那天，听说书店在回购我们的工商管理课本。

考试前，我们几个赶忙跑到书店把书卖了，随后，我们坐在教室里等着考试。

这时候教授宣布：考虑到试题的难度，今天的考试我们决定开卷。

课前一分钟英语笑话篇二A Promise 承诺The landlady1 said to the hard-up author: "When will you pay arrears2(拖欠，滞付) of room rent?"The author replied: "I will pay you as soon as I receive the check that the publisher will send me if he accepts the novel that I am about to start writing when I have found a suitable subject and the necessary inspiration. "房东太太对手头拮据的作家说：“你欠交的房租什么时候付清呀?”作家回答说：“等我找到了合适的主题，也有了必要的灵感，就立即着手写一本小说。

英语课前三分钟笑话【英语幽默小笑话】英语幽默小笑话英语幽默小笑话英语幽默小笑话：太阳和月亮Two boys are talking about the sun and the moon. “Which one of them is more useful“ asked one of them. 两个男孩在谈论太阳和月亮。

“它们中哪个更有用”其中一个问道。

"Of course the moon is. The moon is in the sky when it"s dark, but the sun is in the sky in the daytime when nobody needs it." “当然是月亮。

月亮在天黑时挂在天空，但太阳是在白天谁也不需要它时挂在天空。

” 英语幽默小笑话：there"s only ONE policeman One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What"s the meaning of the word "Drunk", dad" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk." "But, dad," the boy said, " there"s only ONE policeman!" 一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。

--Mr. and Mrs. Taylor had a seven-year-old boy named Pat. Now Mrs. Taylor was expecting another child.泰勒夫妇有一个七岁的儿子，名叫帕特。

现在泰勒太太正怀着第二胎。

Pat had seen babies in other people's houses and had not liked them very much, so he was not delighted about the news that there was soon going to be one in his house too.帕特在别人家看见过小宝宝，他不太喜欢他们，所以他对自己家里也将有一个小宝宝的消息感到不悦。

One evening Mr. and Mrs. Taylor were making plans for thebaby's arrival. "This house won't be big enough for use all when the baby comes," said Mr. Taylor.一天晚上，泰勒夫妇正在为这个婴儿的降临做安排。

泰勒先生说：“有了小宝宝，我们的房子就太小，不够住了。

”Pat came into the room just then and said, "What are you talking about?""We were saying that we'll have to move to another house now, because the new baby's coming," his mother answered.帕特恰好在这个时候走进屋，他问：“你们在说什么？”他的母亲回答说：“我们在说我们得搬家了，因为小宝宝就要来了。

课前三分钟英文笑话短An elderly woman from Brooklyn decided to prepare her will and make her final requests. Shetold her rabbi she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, shewanted her ashes scattered over Bloomingdales.布鲁克林的一位年迈的妇女决定准备自己的遗嘱，提出最后的要求。

她告诉自己的犹太教士说她有两个临终前的要求。

第一，她要火化;第二，她要把骨灰撒到布鲁明黛。

"Bloomingdales!" the rabbi exclaimed. "Why Bloomingdales?"“布鲁明黛!”教士叫道，“为什么在布鲁明黛?”"Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week."“那样的话我女儿肯定一周会探望我两次。

”Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were taking a walk one fine March day.有三个退休的老人，都患有重听。

三月里风和日丽的一天，他们在一起散步。

One remarked to the other, "Windy, ain't it?"其中一个人对另一个人说：“这天儿风有点儿大，是吧?”"No," the second man replied, "It's Thursday."“不是，”第二个人回答道，“今天是星期四。

”And the third man chimed in, "So am I. Let's have a coke."第三个人插话进来说：“我也是，去买瓶可乐吧。