(word完整版)英语幽默小笑话大全,推荐文档

2023英语讲小笑话,3篇（范例推荐）英语讲的小笑话1雇主和雇员Workman: “Mr. Brown, I should like to ask for a smallrise in my wages.I have just been married."Employer: "Very sorry, my dear man, but I can"t help you. For accidents which happen to our workmen outside the factory we are not responsible."工人：“布朗先生，我想请您给我加一点工资。

我刚刚结了婚。

”雇主：“非常抱歉，老兄，但是我无能为力。

对工人在厂外发生的`事故我们概不负责。

”英语讲的小笑话2第一次开出租车A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath1, and stopped centimetres from a shop window.The driver said, "Look mate, don"t ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!" The passenger apologized and said, "I didn"t realize that a little tap would scare you so much." The driver replied, "Sorry, it"s not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver. I"ve been drivinga funeral van for the last 25 years."乘客轻拍了一下出租车司机的肩膀，想问个问题。

关于英语幽默笑话短_幽默笑话短信在这个快节奏的生活中，找点乐子成了我们不可或缺的调味剂。

而英语幽默笑话，就像是那杯午后的咖啡，提神又醒脑，让人在不经意间笑出声。

今天，就让我带你走进那些让人捧腹的英语幽默笑话，一起感受那些简单却充满智慧的快乐瞬间，说不定还能笑出腹肌呢！一、误解也疯狂记得有一次，我在一个国际交友平台上遇到了一个英国朋友，名叫Tom。

我们聊得很投机，直到有一天，他给我发了一条信息：“I’m so hungry, I could eat a horse!” 我一看，心里咯噔一下，心想：“这哥们儿是不是饿疯了？要吃马？”正当我紧张地想要安慰他时，他突然发来一个笑脸符号，解释说：“哈哈，这是句英国俚语，意思是‘我饿得能吃下一头牛’！”我这才恍然大悟，原来英语里的表达有时候这么直接又夸张，让人忍俊不禁。

从那以后，每次我觉得饿极了，就会半开玩笑地说：“I could eat a horse too!”二、单词游戏的乐趣还有一次，我和几个英语爱好者朋友聚在一起玩“单词接龙”。

轮到我的时候，我灵光一闪，说了一个“banana”（香蕉）。

下一个朋友稍作思考，接了个“analyst”（分析师）。

轮到下一位时，他明显卡壳了，眉头紧锁。

我们都以为他要输了，结果他突然眼睛一亮，大喊：“Stop! I’ve got it! Spyglass!”（等等！我想到了！望远镜！）原来，他是把“analyst”倒过来念成了“tsylana”，然后巧妙地加上了“ss”和“pyg”变成了“spyglass”。

那一刻，我们都被他的机智逗乐了，这场游戏也因此变得更加有趣和富有挑战性。

三、短信里的幽默宝藏在手机短信盛行的年代，我也收到过不少让人捧腹的英语幽默短信。

其中一条至今让我记忆犹新：“Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!”（为什么科学家不信任原子？因为它们总是编造一切！）这句简短却充满讽刺意味的话，用科学的术语包装了一个日常生活中的笑话，让人在会心一笑的同时，也感受到了英语的魅力。

英语爆笑小笑话12篇下面是店铺整理的英语爆笑小笑话，希望大家会喜欢!英语爆笑小笑话：智力缺陷"Would you mind telling me, Doctor," Bob asked, "how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?" "Nothing is easier," he replied, "You ask him a simple question which everyone should answer with no trouble. If he hesitates, that puts you on the track." "Well, what sort of question?" "Well, you might ask him, 'Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?' " Bob thought for a moment, and then said with a nervous laugh, "You wouldn't happen to have another example would you? I must confess I don't know much about history."“医生，你能不能告诉我，”鲍勃问，“对于一个看上去很正常的人，你是怎样判断出他有智力缺陷的呢?”“再没有比这容易的了，”医生回答，“问他一个简单的问题，简单到所有人都知道答案，如果他回答得不干脆，那你就知道是怎么回事了。

英语幽默笑话笑话一：一只鸟的英语水平有一只鸟飞到了一家语言学校的窗户上，看到窗户上写着：“免费学习英语，从零开始。

”于是，它翘起了尾巴，挺起了胸脯，然后大声地说道：“Polly wants a cracker!”（小鹦鹉想要个饼干!）这时，里面的老师听到了声音，走过来看窗户，发现了一只鸟。

老师开玩笑说：“你来这里学习英语吗？”鸟点点头。

老师继续说：“那你可以念一句英文的经典名言吗？”鸟听后想了一下，然后顺利地说道：“Early to bed, early to rise, makes abird healthy, wealthy, and wise!”（早睡早起使鸟健康、富有和聪明！）老师忍不住惊讶地说：“哇，你的英语真是棒极了！你是怎么学会的？”鸟笑着回答：“Well, actually I learned English from none other than Polly the Parrot!”（嗯，其实我是从鹦鹉波利那里学的英语！）笑话二：失踪的手机一天晚上，一位英国中学生在回家的路上，不小心将他的手机掉在了路上。

等他发现手机丢了，已经回到家了，于是他告诉他的爸爸发生了什么事情。

爸爸安慰他说：“别担心，我帮你打个电话，看看能不能找到手机。

”于是爸爸打了个电话，手机立刻就响了起来，但是声音却传来的十分奇怪。

爸爸听后说：“嗨，我是XX的爸爸。

你找到了我儿子的手机吗？”手机那头传来一个陌生的声音：“是的，我找到了。

你是他爸爸吗？”爸爸回答：“是的，我是他爸爸。

”手机那头的声音又问：“那你能告诉我他的厕所在哪里吗？我正躲在这儿接你的电话呢！”笑话三：英语课上的问题一天在英语课上，老师问学生们一个问题：“如果今天是过去的昨天，明天是过去的明天，那么今天是星期几？”结果所有的学生都陷入了沉思，似乎没有一个学生能够回答出这个问题。

就在这时，一个学生举手回答道：“老师，今天是星期二。

”老师听后很惊讶地问他：“为什么你认为今天是星期二？”学生回答：“因为我们是星期一上的英语课！”笑话四：一个有趣的对话一位美国人和一位英国人在一家酒吧里坐在一起，开始聊天。

英语搞笑笑话12篇下面是店铺整理的英语搞笑笑话，欢迎大家阅读!英语搞笑笑话：两颗番茄he first tomato has no answer, the second tomato asked again. The tomato has no answer, so the second tomato asked again. The first tomato finally turned slowly, said: "we are not tomatoes? We can talk?"两颗番茄去逛街，第一颗番茄突然走得很快，第二颗番茄就问：“我们要去哪里?” 第一颗番茄没有回答，第二颗番茄又问了一次。

第一颗番茄还没回答，所以第二颗番茄又问了一次。

第一颗番茄终于慢慢转头说：“我们不是番茄吗?我们会说话吗?”英语搞笑笑话：相同的职责The Same DutiesA retired four-star general ran into his former orderly, also retired, in a Manhattan bar and spent the rest of the evening persuading him to come work for him as his valet. "Your duties will be exactly the same as they were in the army," the general said. "Nothing to it-you'll catch on again fast." Next morning promptly at eight o'clock, the ex-orderly entered the ex-general's bedroom, pulled open the drapes, gave the general a gentle shake, strode around the other side of the bed, spanked his employer's wife on her bottom and said, "OK, sweetheart, it's back to the village for you."相同的职责一个退休的四星级将军在曼哈顿的一个酒吧偶然地遇到了他以前的勤务兵，勤务兵也退休在家。

英语小笑话（经典版）编制人：__________________审核人：__________________审批人：__________________编制单位：__________________编制时间：____年____月____日序言下载提示：该文档是本店铺精心编制而成的，希望大家下载后，能够帮助大家解决实际问题。

文档下载后可定制修改，请根据实际需要进行调整和使用，谢谢!并且，本店铺为大家提供各种类型的经典范文，如工作总结、工作计划、策划方案、规章制度、合同协议、条据文书、心得体会、教学资料、作文大全、其他范文等等，想了解不同范文格式和写法，敬请关注!Download tips: This document is carefully compiled by this editor. I hope that after you download it, it can help you solve practical problems. The document can be customized and modified after downloading, please adjust and use it according to actual needs, thank you!Moreover, our store provides various types of classic sample essays for everyone, such as work summaries, work plans, planning plans, rules and regulations, contract agreements, documents, experiences, teaching materials, complete essays, and other sample essays. If you want to learn about different sample formats and writing methods, please pay attention!英语小笑话英语小笑话（通用20篇）英语小笑话作为一种城市化的民间口头创作体裁，是一种重要的交际手段。

英语幽默笑话（优秀10篇）英国人有他们独特的英式幽默，他们流传的英语冷笑话让人会心一笑，今天，小编给同学们收集、整理了几则特别有趣的英语冷笑话，希望大家能开心开心，一起来看看吧! 篇一一、The little girl did not like the look of the barking dog.It#39;s all right, said a gentleman, don#39;t be afraid. Don#39;t you know the proverb: Barking dogs don#39;t bite?Ah, yes, answered the little girl. I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?一个小女孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。

“没有关系，”一位先生说，“不用害怕，你知道这条谚语吗：吠狗不咬人。

;”“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道吗？”二、One student to another: How are your English lessons coming along?Fine. I used to be one who couldn#39;t understand the English men, and now it#39;s the English men who can#39;t understand me.一位学生对另一位说：“你的英语最近学的怎么样？”“很好，我过去不懂英国人说话，可现在是英国人不懂我的话了。

”三、An old lady who was very deaf and who thought everything too dear, went into a shop and asked the shopman:#39; How much this stuff?#39;#39;Seven dollars, Madam, it is very cheap.#39;The lady said, #39;It is too much, give it to me for fourteen.#39;#39;I did not say seventeen dollars, but seven.#39;#39;It is still too much,#39; replie()d the old lady, #39;give it to me for five.#39;一位耳聋并且总是嫌东西太贵的老太太走进一家商店。

逗乐英语笑话通用一篇逗乐英语笑话 1逗乐英语笑话集锦(一)宁愿给你买一件礼物While on a trip, Mom realized that she had forgotten a present for Dad's birthday.旅途中，妈妈想起她忘记给爸爸买一件生日礼物。

“That's okay," he said, "The only thing I want is for you to love, honor and obey."“没关系”，他说，“我最想要的东西是你的爱、忠贞和温顺”。

Mom pondered that idea and then replied "I'd rather buy you a gift."妈妈沉思片刻后回答说，“我宁愿给你买一件礼物”。

逗乐英语笑话集锦(二)There was once a snail who was sick and tired of his reputation for being so slow.曾经有只蜗牛，它对自己动作慢的名声感到了厌恶和疲倦。

Hedecided to get some fast wheels to make up the difference.他决心去弄些跑得飞快的轮子来改变这种境况。

After shopping around a while, he decided that the Datson 240-Z was the car to get.逛了一圈之后，它决定买Datson 240-Z。

So the snail goes to the nearest Datsundealer and says he wants to buy the 240-Z, but he wants it repainted "240-S".去了最近的Datsun经销店，去买Datson 240-Z，但是它想把这辆车重新刷漆，改称240-S。

英语搞笑笑话6篇幽默寓于笑话之中，它是笑话的精料，智慧之所在。

笑话是幽默的载体，一个成功的笑话能流传千古。

下面是店铺整理的英语搞笑笑话，欢迎大家阅读!英语搞笑笑话一：How can I get into heaven 我怎么才能上天堂"If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the poor, would I get into heaven?" I asked the children in my Sunday school class."No!" the children all answered."If I cleaned the church everyday, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would I get into heaven?"Again, the answer was, "No!""Well, " I continued, "then how can I get into heaven?"A five-year-old boy shouted out, "You gotta be dead!"“如果我把房子和车卖了，在车库举行义卖, 并把所有的钱给穷人，我能进天堂吗?”我问主日学校的孩子。

孩子们齐声回答：“不能!”“那如果我每天都打扫教堂，给院子的草坪割草，并且把东西都收拾得干净整洁，我会上天堂吗?”回答还是：“不能!”“好吧，”我继续问, “那我要怎样才能升天堂呢?”一个五岁的男孩儿叫道：“你得死了才行!”英语搞笑笑话二：I Want Her to go NutsMrs. Flinders decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, "Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets and a ruby pendant.""But you're not wearing any of those things.""I know," said Mrs. Flinders." It's in case I should die beforemy husband. I'm sure he'd remarry right away, and I want her to go nuts looking for the jewelry."福林德斯夫人决定让人给她画肖像。

本文部分内容来自网络整理，本司不为其真实性负责，如有异议或侵权请及时联系，本司将立即删除！== 本文为word格式，下载后可方便编辑和修改！ ==英语口语小笑话篇一：英语小笑话黑衣使者英语学习系列 1A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second" 一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"上帝回答:"一便士." 男子又问:"那一百万年呢?"上帝说:"一秒钟."最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"上帝回答:"过一秒钟." Four best friends met at the hospital since their wives were giving births to their babies. The nurse comes up to the first man and says, "Congratulations, you got twins." The man said "How strange, I'm the manager of Minnesota Twins." After awhile the nurse comes up to the second man and says, "Congratulations, you got triplets." Man was like "Hmmm, strange I worked as a director for the "3 musketeers." Finally, the nurse comes up to the third man and says "Congratulations, you got twins x2." Man is happy and says, "Ironic, I work for the hotel "4 Seasons." All three of them are happy until they see their last buddy jumping all over the place, cursing God and banging his head on the wall. They asked him what's wrong and he answered, "What's wrong? I work for 7up"! 四个好朋友在医院里碰面了,他们的妻子正在生产.护士过来对第一个男人说:"恭喜,你得了双胞胎."男人说:"多奇怪呀,我是明尼苏达双子队的经理."过了一会儿,护士过来对第二个男人说:"恭喜,你得了三胞胎."男人很喜欢:"嗯,又巧了.我是 3M 公司的董事."最后,护士跑来对第三个男人说:"恭喜,你得了 2 对双胞胎."男人很开心地说:"真令人啼笑皆非,我为四季宾馆工作." 他们三个都很高兴,但第四个伙伴急得像热锅上的蚂蚁,咒骂上帝并用头撞墙.他们问他有什么不对劲,他回答道:"什么不对劲?我可是在七喜公司工作呀!" Once two hunters went hunting in the forest. One of them suddenly fell down by accident. He showed the whites of his eyes and seemed to have ceased breathing. The other hunter soon took out his mobile phone to call the emergency centerfor help. The operator said calmly:"First, you should make sure that he is already dead." Then the operator heard a gunshot from the other end of the phone and next he heard the hunter asking:"What should I do next?" 两个猎人进森林里打猎,其中一个猎人不慎跌倒,两眼翻白,似已停止呼吸.另一个猎人赶紧拿出手机拨通紧急求助电话.接线员沉着地说:"第一步,要先确定你的朋友已经死亡." 于是,接线员在电话里听到一声枪响,然后听到那猎人接着问:"第二步怎办?" 成功人生最经典最重要的 10 句话 1. Do one thing at a time, and do well. 一次只做一件事,做到最好! 2. Never forget to say "thanks" . 永远不要忘了说"谢谢"! 3. Keep on going never give up. 勇往直前, 决不放弃! 4. Whatever is worth doing is worth doing well. 任何值得做的事就值得把它做好!黑衣使者英语学习系列 15. Believe in yourself. 相信你自己! 6. I can because i think i can. 我行,因为我相信我行! 7. Action speak louder than words. 行动胜于言语! 8. Never say die. 永不气馁! 9. Never putoff what you can do today until tomorrow. 今日事今日毕! 10. The best preparation for tomorrow is doing your best today. 对明天做好的准备就是今天做到最好! The Picture is Half Good and Half BadAn artist had painted a child holding a basket of fruit. A friend of his, who admired this picture, wishing to show its perfection, said to some persons who were examining it that the fruit appeared so natural that the birds came to peck at it. A countryman, who heard these praises, said: "If this fruit is as well represented as you say, it is not so with the child, since he does not frighten the birds."How to Get a Seat by the FireA gentleman came to an inn on a very cold day, and could get no room near the fire.He called to the hostler to fetch a peck of oysters, and give them to his horse."Will your horse eat oysters?"said the hostler."Try him,"said the gentleman.Immediately the people ran to see this wonder, and the gentleman who alone remained in the room, chose the best seat by the fire and made himself comfortable.真正的懒惰点击右边的按钮,播放音频:Real Laziness A young farmer who went to look after his father's men in the time of hay-harvest, found haysome of the mowers asleep, when they should have been at work."How is this?"cried the young man, "Why, you are so lazy, that I would give 20 dollars to know which of you is thelaziest man"."I am he!"cried the one nearest to him, still stretching。

简单幽默英语小笑话(细选3篇)简单幽默英语小笑话1There once was a young couple who lived in a town filled with crime. After three neighbors' houses had been robbed, the couple decided to get a guard dog.So one day the wife went to the pet store and said, “I need a good guard dog.”And the clerk replied, “Sorry, we're all sold out. All we have left is this little Scottie dog. But he knows karate.”The wife didn't believe him so he said to the dog, "Karate that chair.”The dog went up to the chair and broke it into pieces, then he said to the dog, “Karate that table.” The dog went up to the table and broke it in half.So the wife bought the dog and took it home to her husband who was expecting a big guard dog. But then she told her husband that it knew karate, and he said “Karate my ass!”简单幽默英语小笑话2Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on stretchers next to each other, outside the operating room. The first kid leans over and asks, "What are you in here for?"The second kid says, "I'm in here to get my tonsils out and I'm a little nervous."The first kid says, "You've got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they give you lots of Jell-O and ice cream. It's a breeze!"The second kid then asks, "What are you here for?"The first kid says, "A circumcision."And the second kid says, "Whoa! I had that done when I was born. I couldn't walk for a year!"简单幽默英语小笑话3Bifocals Barbie. Comes with her own set of blended-lens fashion frames in six wild colors (half-frames too!), neck chain and large-print editions of Vogue and Martha Stewart Living.Hot Flash Barbie. Press Barbie's bellybutton and watch her face turn beet red while tiny drops of perspiration appear on her forehead. Comes with hand-held fan and tiny tissues.Facial Hair Barbie. As Barbie's hormone levels shift, see her whiskers grow. Available with teensy tweezers and magnifying mirror.Flabby Arms Barbie. Hide Barbie's droopy triceps with thesenew, roomier-sleeved gowns. Good news on the tummy front, too-muumuus with tummy-support panels are included.Bunion Barbie. Years of disco dancing in stiletto heels have definitely taken their toll on Barbie's dainty arched feet. Soothe her sores with the pumice stone and plasters, then slip on soft terry mules.No-More-Wrinkles Barbie. Erase those pesky crow's-feet and lip lines with a tube of Skin Sparkle-Spackle, from Barbie's own line of exclusive age-blasting cosmetics.Soccer Mom Barbie. All that experience as a cheer-leader is really paying off as Barbie dusts off her old high school megaphone to root for Babs and Ken, Jr. Comes with minivan in robin-egg blue or white, and cooler filled with doughnut holes and fruit punch.Mid-life Cr Barbie. It's time to ditch Ken. Barbie needs a change, and Alonzo (her personal trainer)is just what the doctor ordered, along with Prozac. They're hopping in her new red Miata and heading for the Napa Valley to open a B别睡在庙里，因为跑得了和尚跑不了庙!初恋防震最佳，因为爱情像雨像雾又像风。

英语小幽默笑话一、教室里的笑话一天，小明走进教室，发现黑板上写着一行字：“I'm very good!（我很好！）”于是他皱了皱眉，拿起粉笔在旁边写了一行字：“I'm good too, thank you!（我也很好，谢谢！）”当小明坐下时，他才发现旁边的黑板上写着：“I'm a blackboard!（我是一个黑板！）”二、动物园里的笑话John 去动物园里参观。

他走到狮子旁边，然后用手指挖狮子笼子外面一点点的土。

突然，狮子怒吼一声，跳到笼子外面。

John 吓得立刻跑了起来。

然而，狮子并没有追赶他，反而开始用爪子挖土，好像在等待什么。

John 一边跑一边回头看，这时突然明白过来，原来狮子是在等着他掏出足够多的土，这样狮子就可以把他的手指当早餐了。

三、医院里的笑话将军身体不适，于是他去了医院。

医生给将军把脉后说：“将军，您需要多休息，少工作。

”将军愤怒地说：“我是将军，我必须站在最前线，为国家效力！”医生点点头，继续说道：“我明白了，将军。

那么我们就把床移到最前线吧！”四、旅行的笑话一个美国人，一个英国人和一个中国人一起参加了一个环球旅行团。

当他们来到一个孤岛时，他们被困在那里了。

他们决定每人去找各自国家的救援。

一个月后，美国人挨饿了，但看到了一点希望。

他用信号枪向天空发出了SOS。

几天后，一架直升飞机来把他救走了。

两个月后，英国人饿得快死了，但他坚信救援一定会来。

于是他写了一封希望的信并抛入大海。

几天后，一个军舰把他救了起来。

而中国人一直没有食物，他只好靠椰子充饥。

六个月后，他终于爬到了岛的最高峰，大喊一声：“我是第一批到达这个岛屿的人！”五、餐厅里的笑话一位顾客走进餐厅，服务员领他坐下，然后递给他菜单。

一会儿，服务员走过来问：“先生，您想点什么？”顾客犹豫了一下，然后说道：“给我请一个有人性的厨师。

”服务员笑笑，离开了。

等了一会儿，服务员回来了，手上端着一个镜子。

他把镜子递给顾客说：“先生，这是我们厨师的倒影。

英语幽默笑话集锦笑话1：鸡蛋的问题小明问小华：“你怎么知道一个鸡蛋是生的还是熟的？”小华：“很简单，我把鸡蛋放进水里，如果浮起来就是生的，如果沉下去就是熟的。

”小明：“那如果鸡蛋半浮半沉呢？”小华：“那就是半生不熟。

”笑话2：打电话小明用英语给外国朋友打电话：“Hello! Is it Mr. Brown’s residence?”外国朋友说：“I’m sorry, you have the wrong number.”小明再打一次：“Hello! Is it Mrs. Brown’s residence?”外国朋友愤怒地说：“No, I told you already, you have the wrong number!”小明再打一次：“Hello! Is it Mr. Brown’s residence?”外国朋友非常生气：“I can’t believe you called me again! This is not Mr. Brown’s residence!”小明笑着说：“I know, but I just love hearing you say it!”笑话3：父亲的损失小明的父亲对他说：“小明，你知道我为什么戴假发吗？”小明好奇地问：“为什么呢？”父亲严肃地回答：“因为我是个有发言权的人。

”笑话4：天堂和地狱有一天，人们来到上帝面前询问天堂和地狱的存在。

他们问上帝：“天堂和地狱是什么样子的？”上帝微笑着回答：“我带你们去看一看。

”首先，上帝打开了通向地狱的门。

门一打开，他们看到里面是一个宴会厅，摆满了美食和饮料，但每个人手中都拿着又长又粗的筷子，无法把食物送入嘴中。

接着，上帝带着他们去了天堂。

天堂的门打开后，他们看到了和地狱一样的情景，宴会厅里也是美食和饮料满满，每个人同样手中拿着又长又粗的筷子。

但人们却高兴地吃得很满足，因为在天堂里，他们都学会了相互喂食。

笑话5：自动售货机小明走到一个自动售货机前，看见上面写着：“请用英语选择您要购买的商品。

幽默英语笑话合集4篇幽默英语笑话1a lady lost her handbag.it was found by an honest little boy and returned to her.looking in her purse,she commented,"hmmm....that's funny.when i lost my bag there was a$20bill in it.now there are twenty$1bills."一个女人丢了手提包，有一个诚实的小孩捡到后交还给了她。

她看了看钱包，说：“嗯，这么有趣，我丢的时候里面是一张20美元，现在成了20张一美元。

”the boy quickly replied,"that's right,lady.the last time i found a lady's purse,she didn't have any change for a reward."“没错，夫人。

”小男孩立刻回答道，“上次我捡到钱包时，那位夫人没有零钱奖赏给我。

”幽默英语笑话2幽默英语笑话**笑话由于其滑稽可笑的'特点而为人们长久以来所喜爱。

而人们对笑话的热衷与喜爱也促使人们在开怀捧腹的同时对笑话为何能够使人发笑这一问题进行思考。

阳光网小编精心收集了有关于幽默英语笑话，供大家欣赏学习!有关于幽默英语笑话：Goldfish PassingLittle Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbor peered over the fence.Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to,he politely asked,"What are you doing there, Nancy?""My goldfish died,"replied Nancy tearfully without looking up, "and I've just buried him."The neighbor was very concerned."That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish,isn't it?"Nancy patted down the last heap of dirt then replied,"That's because he's inside your fricking cat."有关于幽默英语笑话：Playing Octopushis guy walks into a bar near a concert hall with an octopus under his arm and says,"I'll bet any of you that my octopus can play any instrument that you give him."Two guys bet fifty dollars each that the octopus can't play their instruments.The first guy hands over his French horn and the octopus starts to play it.The second guy hands over his tuba and sure enough the octopus starts to play it.The bartender then walks into the back room and comes back five minutes later with a set ofbagpipes and bets all the money in the drawer that the octopus wouldn't be able to play it.He hands over the bagpipes to the octopus and waits.After about a minute of watching the octopus run its tentacles over the bagpipe the owner of the octopus says,"Come on now!Playit!"The octopus replies,"What do you mean play it?!If I can figure out how to get the plaidpajamas off of it,I'm gonna screw it!"有关于幽默英语笑话：The Mime and the LionOne day an out of work mime is visiting the zoo and attempts to earn some money as a street performer.However,as soon as he starts to draw a crowd,the zookeeper grabs him and drags him into his office.The zookeeper explains to the mime that the zoo's most popular attraction,a gorilla,has died suddenly.The keeper fears that attendance at the zoo will fall off.He offers the mime a job to dress up as the gorilla until they can get another one.The mime accepts.The next morning,before the crowd arrives,the mime puts on the gorilla suit and enters the cage.He discovers that it's a great job. He can sleep all he wants,play and make fun of people and he draws bigger crowds than he ever did as a mime.However,eventually the crowds tire of him and he gets bored just swinging on tires.He begins to notice that the people are paying more attention to the lion in the cage next to his.Not wanting to lose the attention of his audience,he climbs to the top of his cage,crawls across a partition,and dangles from the top to the lion's cage.Of course,this makes the lion furious,but the crowd loves it.At the end of the day the zookeeper comes and gives the mime a raise for being such a good attraction as a gorilla.Well,this goes on for some time.The mime keeps taunting the lion,the crowds grow larger,and his salary keeps going up.Then one terrible day when he is dangling over the furious lion,he slips and falls.The mime is terrified.The lion gathers itself and prepares to pounce.The mime is so scared that he begins to run round and round the cage with the lion close behind.Finally,the mime starts screaming and yelling,"Help,Help me!", but the lion is quick andpounces.The mime soon finds himself flat on his back looking up at the angry lion and the lion says,"Shut up you idiot!Do you want to get us both fired?"幽默英语笑话3a sunday school teacher was telling her pupils the importance of making others glad.now,children,said she,has anyone of you ever made someone else glad?一个主日学校的老师正在对学生讲使别人高兴的重要性。

英语小笑话,英语笑话大全（带翻译）下面是编辑整理的英语小笑话，希望能让您捧腹大笑!英语小笑话【一】1、The Fish NetCan you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?A lot of little holes tied together with strings. replied the little girl.翻译：鱼网你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安? 老师发问道。

把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。

小女孩回答道。

2、律师和胳膊、宝马A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW."Officer, look what they've done to my Beeeemer", he whined."You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick" retorted the officer, "You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off"翻译：一个律师打开他的宝马车门，突然一辆汽车驶过来把门撞飞了，警察赶到现场，律师正痛苦地抱怨毁坏了他心爱的宝马。

“警察同志，看看他们把我的车弄的”律师哀怨地说。

一分钟英语小笑话大全篇一：英语幽默小笑话大全英语幽默小笑话大全1.a kissAt a dinner party, the speaker, who was the guest of honor, was about to deliver a speech when his wife sitting at the other end of the table, sent him a piece of paper with the word “KISS” scribbl ed on it.The guest seated next to the speaker said, “Your wife must love you very much, I see her send you a ‘KISS’ before you begin your speech.”The speaker smiled and explained, “You don’t know my wife. The ‘KISS’ she give me stands for ‘Keep It Short, Stupid.’”2.A teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, “Everyone who thinks you’re stupid, stand up!”Little Johnny then stood up.The teacher said, “Do you think you’re stupid, Johnny?”“No, ma’am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!”一个老师在对学生们讲心理学，“谁认为自己蠢就站起来？”她一开始就说。

英语搞笑笑话12篇带翻译下面是店铺整理的英语搞笑笑话，以供大家学习参考。

英语搞笑笑话：传教士买鹦鹉A preacher is buying a parrotA preacher is buying a parrot.一个传教士在买鹦鹉。

"Are you sure it doesn't scream, yell, or swear?" asked the preacher.“你确信它不会尖叫，大叫或诅咒别人吗?”传教士问。

"Oh absolutely. He's a religious parrot," the storekeeper assures him.“噢，绝对不会。

它是一只虔诚的鹦鹉。

”店主向他保证。

"Do you see those strings on his legs? When you pull the right one, he recites the lord's prayer, and when you pull on the left he recites the 23rd Psalm."“你看见它腿上的那些细绳了吗?当你拉动右边这根，它会背诵天主经;当你拉动左边那根，它会背诵赞美诗。

”"Wonderful!" says the preacher, "but what happens if you pull both strings?"“太棒了!”传教士说，“但是如果我同时拉动两根绳子，会发生什么呢?”"I fall off my perch, you stupid fool!" screeched the parrot.“我会从树干上掉下去，你这个笨蛋!”鹦鹉尖声说道。

英语搞笑笑话：谁才是有色人种Dear white, something you got to know亲爱的白种人，有几件事你必须知道。