课前的英文小笑话整理
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学英语的经典笑话
学英语的经典笑话
1、英语⽼师问⼀个学⽣,“How are you 是什么意思”
学⽣想how是怎么,you 是你,于是回答“怎么是你?”
⽼师⽣⽓⼜问另⼀个同学:“How old are you 是什么意思?”
这个同学想了想说:“怎么⽼是你。
”
2、⼀位在美的留学⽣,想要考国际驾照。
在考试时因为过于紧张,看到地上标线是向左转。
他不放⼼的问道: turn left?
监考官回答:right.
于是他⽴刻向右转。
很抱歉他只有下次再来。
3、⼥:Say“i love you”,say it,come on!say it!
男:It!
4、⽼师在⿊板上写了⼀句:Time is money 并让同学们翻译。
有名学⽣答道:“汤姆是玛丽。
”
5、话说某年某⽉的'某⼀天,叁个神箭⼿约在⼀起⽐箭,⽬标是⼗尺外仆⼈头上的苹果。
A神箭⼿挽⼸长射,咻⼀声,利箭正中苹果。
A⾼傲的昂起下巴,⽐出⼀根⼤拇指道:「I AM 后羿!」
B神箭⼿照本宣科,射中苹果,这回他⾃⼤的喊了⼀句:「I AM 丘⽐特!」
轮到C了,他也挽⼸,利箭射出!结果正中仆⼈的⼼脏。
就听他结结巴巴好久才吐出⼀句:「I...I...I...AM...SORRY...」 Note by Jodie: 此处⽤西班⽛⼝⾳说Sorry肥更有趣
【学英语的经典笑话】相关⽂章:
12-05
11-24
10-03
09-27
04-11
07-06 08-02 06-15 06-08 06-07。
英语笑话十则以下是为您创作的英语笑话十则,希望能给您带来欢乐!1、 Teacher: "John, if you have five apples in your hand and I take away two, how many apples do you have left?"John: "In my hand? None, because you took them away!"我记得有一次在课堂上,老师讲这个笑话的时候,全班同学都哄堂大笑。
那个场景真的特别有趣,大家笑得前仰后合,有的同学甚至都笑出了眼泪。
就好像那一刻,所有的学习压力都被这轻松的笑话一扫而空。
2、 Teacher: "Why are you late, Tom?"Tom: "Because of the sign"Teacher: "What sign?"Tom: "The one that says 'School Ahead, Go Slow'"这让我想起了小时候上学,我有个同学也总是找各种奇怪的理由迟到,每次老师听完都是又好气又好笑。
3、 Customer: "Waiter, this soup is too salty"Waiter: "Yes, sir It's really salty Maybe the salt went on vacation and brought all its friends"就像我们平时出去吃饭,如果碰到菜不好吃,大家可能就会这样互相调侃,一下子氛围就变得轻松起来。
4、 Dad: "Did you pass your English test?"Kid: "Yes, but I didn't fail it either"记得有一回,我邻居家的孩子考了个模棱两可的成绩,回家跟他爸爸这么说的时候,他爸爸那一脸无奈的表情,真是让人忍俊不禁。
5、 Patient: "Doctor, I have a problem I can't remember anything"Doctor: "How long have you had this problem?"Patient: "How long have I had what problem?"这种糊涂的对话,是不是像极了有时候我们自己大脑突然短路的瞬间?6、 Teacher: "If I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits do you have?"Student: "Seven!"Teacher: "How do you make seven?"Student: "Because I already have one at home!"想到之前参加同学聚会,大家回忆起上学时候的这些趣事,还是会笑得停不下来。
英语笑话带翻译简短的1. Why don't scientists trust atoms?Because they make up everything!科学家为什么不相信原子?因为它们构成了一切!2. Why did the chicken go to the seance?To talk to the other side!为什么鸡要去参加降灵会?为了和另一边的人交谈!3. What do you call a bear with no teeth?A gummy bear!你怎么称呼一只没有牙齿的熊?软糖熊!4. How do you organize a space party?You "planet"!你怎样组织太空派对?你"计划"一下!5. What do you call fake spaghetti?An impasta!你会怎样称呼假的意大利面?冒牌意面!6. Why did the scarecrow become a successful politician? Because he was outstanding in his field!为什么稻草人会成为一位成功的政治家?因为他在自己的领域很出色!7. How do you make a tissue dance?You put a little boogie in it!你怎样让纸巾跳舞?你给它加点音乐!8. What did one wall say to the other wall?I'll meet you at the corner!一面墙对另一面墙说了什么?我将在拐角处与你相会!9. Why don't skeletons fight each other?They don't have the guts!为什么骷髅不互相打架?因为它们没有勇气!10. How do you catch a squirrel?Climb a tree and act like a nut!你怎么捉住一只松鼠?爬上树然后表现得像颗坚果!以上是一些简短的英语笑话,希望能给您带来些许欢乐。
2023英语讲小笑话,3篇(范例推荐)英语讲的小笑话1雇主和雇员Workman: “Mr. Brown, I should like to ask for a smallrise in my wages.I have just been married."Employer: "Very sorry, my dear man, but I can"t help you. For accidents which happen to our workmen outside the factory we are not responsible."工人:“布朗先生,我想请您给我加一点工资。
我刚刚结了婚。
”雇主:“非常抱歉,老兄,但是我无能为力。
对工人在厂外发生的`事故我们概不负责。
”英语讲的小笑话2第一次开出租车A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath1, and stopped centimetres from a shop window.The driver said, "Look mate, don"t ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!" The passenger apologized and said, "I didn"t realize that a little tap would scare you so much." The driver replied, "Sorry, it"s not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver. I"ve been drivinga funeral van for the last 25 years."乘客轻拍了一下出租车司机的肩膀,想问个问题。
适合在英语课堂上讲的笑话笑话是文化的重要组成部分,通过笑话,我们可以了解一个国家的文化内涵。
下面是店铺带来的适合在英语课堂上讲的笑话,欢迎阅读!适合在英语课堂上讲的笑话篇一酒吧里的猴子The MonkeyA man walks into a bar and orders a beer. He takes his first sip and sets it down. While he is looking around the bar, a monkey swings down and steals the pint of beer from him before he is able to stop the monkey.The man asks the barman who owns the monkey. The barman replies the piano player. The man walks over to the piano player and says "Do you know your monkey stole my beer." The pianist replies "No, but if you hum it, I'll play it."中文翻译:一男子去酒吧,点了一杯啤酒。
他喝了一口放下。
当他环视酒吧时,发现一只猴子荡下来,在他阻止之前,偷走了啤酒。
该男子问酒吧招待,这只猴子是谁的。
服务员回答说是钢琴手的。
男子走到钢琴手面前问:“你知道你的猴子偷了我的啤酒吗?”钢琴手回答说:“没有,但是如果你能哼唱,我会为你演奏的。
”适合在英语课堂上讲的笑话篇二对不起,本店不找零钱A friend and I were standing in line at a fast-food restaurant, waiting to place our order. There was a big sign posted. "No bills larger than $20 will be accepted."The woman in front of us, pointing to the sign, remarked, "Believe me, if I HAD a bill larger than $20, I wouldn't be eating here."中文翻译我和一个朋友在快餐店排队订餐,那里很醒目地写着,不接受超过20美元的大钞(请自备零钱)。
英语小笑话(经典版)编制人:__________________审核人:__________________审批人:__________________编制单位:__________________编制时间:____年____月____日序言下载提示:该文档是本店铺精心编制而成的,希望大家下载后,能够帮助大家解决实际问题。
文档下载后可定制修改,请根据实际需要进行调整和使用,谢谢!并且,本店铺为大家提供各种类型的经典范文,如工作总结、工作计划、策划方案、规章制度、合同协议、条据文书、心得体会、教学资料、作文大全、其他范文等等,想了解不同范文格式和写法,敬请关注!Download tips: This document is carefully compiled by this editor. I hope that after you download it, it can help you solve practical problems. The document can be customized and modified after downloading, please adjust and use it according to actual needs, thank you!Moreover, our store provides various types of classic sample essays for everyone, such as work summaries, work plans, planning plans, rules and regulations, contract agreements, documents, experiences, teaching materials, complete essays, and other sample essays. If you want to learn about different sample formats and writing methods, please pay attention!英语小笑话英语小笑话(通用20篇)英语小笑话作为一种城市化的民间口头创作体裁,是一种重要的交际手段。
英语幽默笑话(优秀10篇)英国人有他们独特的英式幽默,他们流传的英语冷笑话让人会心一笑,今天,小编给同学们收集、整理了几则特别有趣的英语冷笑话,希望大家能开心开心,一起来看看吧! 篇一一、The little girl did not like the look of the barking dog.It#39;s all right, said a gentleman, don#39;t be afraid. Don#39;t you know the proverb: Barking dogs don#39;t bite?Ah, yes, answered the little girl. I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?一个小女孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。
“没有关系,”一位先生说,“不用害怕,你知道这条谚语吗:吠狗不咬人。
;”“啊,我是知道,可是狗也知道吗?”二、One student to another: How are your English lessons coming along?Fine. I used to be one who couldn#39;t understand the English men, and now it#39;s the English men who can#39;t understand me.一位学生对另一位说:“你的英语最近学的怎么样?”“很好,我过去不懂英国人说话,可现在是英国人不懂我的话了。
”三、An old lady who was very deaf and who thought everything too dear, went into a shop and asked the shopman:#39; How much this stuff?#39;#39;Seven dollars, Madam, it is very cheap.#39;The lady said, #39;It is too much, give it to me for fourteen.#39;#39;I did not say seventeen dollars, but seven.#39;#39;It is still too much,#39; replie()d the old lady, #39;give it to me for five.#39;一位耳聋并且总是嫌东西太贵的老太太走进一家商店。
英语课堂小笑话英语笑话(一)Q: Which is the strongest creature in the world?A: The snail. It carries its house on its back.因为snail(蜗牛)的后背上总是背着一所房子,所以说蜗牛是世界上最强壮的生物是不足为奇的。
你说呢?Q: What do people do in a clock factory?A: They make faces all day.一看到make faces这个短语,你可千万别以为是在钟表厂工作的人整天都做鬼脸呀!因为除了这个意思以外,它还可以从字面上解释为制造钟面。
Q: How do you stop a sleepwalker from walking in his sleep?A: Keep him awake.怎样才能不让梦游者(sleepwalker)梦游(walk in his sleep)呢?最简单的方法就是不让他睡觉。
虽然这不是治疗方法,但如果让梦游者醒着呢,他的确就不会去梦游了。
英语笑话(二)He is really somebody-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.-- He is really somebody. What does he do?-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.他真是一个大人物-- 我叔叔下面有1000个人。
-- 他真是一个大人物。
干什么的?-- 墓地守墓人。
英语笑话(三)Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America." 它们是从美国直接带来的一位中国老妇人在美国看望女儿回来不久,到一家市银行存女儿送给她的美元。
少儿英语课前三分钟笑话1.少儿英语课前三分钟笑话篇一Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents' hou se.At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their praye rs, when the younger one began praying at the top of his lungs: "I pra y for a bicycle.I pray for a new toy."His older brother leaned over, nudged him and said, "Why are you s houting your prayers? God isn't deaf."To which the little brother replied, "No, but Grandma is!"孩子的祈祷两个小男孩在祖父母家过夜。
睡觉的时候,两个小男孩跪在床边开始祈祷,这时小一些的孩子扯开嗓子大声喊道:“我祈求得到一辆自行车。
我祈求有一个新玩具。
”他的哥哥靠过来,用肘轻碰他说:“你为什么这么大声喊叫呢?上帝又不是聋子。
”弟弟回答说:“是的,可是奶奶听不到呀!”2.少儿英语课前三分钟笑话篇二A professor was giving a big test one day to his students.He hand ed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait.Once the test was over the students all handed the tests back in.T he professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying "A dollar per point."The next class the professor handed the tests back out.This studen t got back his test and $64 change.一天,教授正在给学生们监考。
学习简单的英文笑话英语作为一门国际语言,对于日常交流和职场发展都有着重要的作用。
除了学习英文的正式语言和用法,学习一些简单的英文笑话也是很有趣和有助于提高英语水平的方式。
下面将分享一些简单的英文笑话,希望能给大家带来欢乐和学习的动力。
1. Why did the scarecrow win an award?Because he was outstanding in his field!为什么稻草人获得了奖项?因为他在自己的领域表现出色!2. I used to play piano by ear.Now I use my hands.以前我靠听力弹钢琴。
现在我靠双手弹。
3. Why don't scientists trust atoms?Because they make up everything!为什么科学家不相信原子?因为它们构成了一切!4. How do you organize a space party?You just planet!怎样才能办一个太空派对?你只要把行星安排好!5. What did one wall say to the other wall?I'll meet you at the corner!一堵墙对另一堵墙说什么?我将在拐角处与你会面!6. Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?It was two-tired!自行车为什么不能独立站立?因为它累了!7. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!被踩到的葡萄说了什么?什么都没有,它只是流出了一点葡萄酒!8. What did one ocean say to the other ocean?Nothing, they just waved!一个海洋对另一个海洋说什么?什么都没有,它们只是挥手示意!这些简单的英文笑话不仅语言简洁幽默,而且可以帮助我们理解英语中的双关语和幽默元素。
英语小笑话,英语笑话大全(带翻译)下面是编辑整理的英语小笑话,希望能让您捧腹大笑!英语小笑话【一】1、The Fish NetCan you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?A lot of little holes tied together with strings. replied the little girl.翻译:鱼网你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗,安? 老师发问道。
把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。
小女孩回答道。
2、律师和胳膊、宝马A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW."Officer, look what they've done to my Beeeemer", he whined."You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick" retorted the officer, "You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off"翻译:一个律师打开他的宝马车门,突然一辆汽车驶过来把门撞飞了,警察赶到现场,律师正痛苦地抱怨毁坏了他心爱的宝马。
“警察同志,看看他们把我的车弄的”律师哀怨地说。
课堂前一分钟英语笑话精选笑话一方面可以使人轻松愉悦,忘记忧愁困扰;另一方面,一些笑话不仅搞笑,还能揭示发人深省的至理箴言。
下面是店铺带来的课堂前一分钟英语笑话,欢迎阅读!课堂前一分钟英语笑话篇一.“走不动了”Out-of-state friends of ours recently inherited several pieces of real estate which, unfortunately, are producing more taxes than income. When my wife invited thenn for a visit,back carne the response:"You know we'd love it. But right now we're just too property-stricken to go anywhere."我们外州的朋友最近继承了几块地产。
不幸的是几块地产给他们的不是收入,而是税款。
我妻子邀请他们来玩的时候,他们说:“你知道我们是很乐意去的。
但是,我们现在让对产压得哪儿也去不了了。
”课堂前一分钟英语笑话篇二关心A customer at my teller's window was grumbling about the low interest rate on his savings account. He finally said he was just going to take all his money out of the bank,dig a hole in his back yard and bury it.一位顾客站在我的出纳窗口前,埋怨存钱的利率太低。
最后,他说他妥把所有的钱从银行里取出来,在自家后院挖个坑,把钱理了。
The teller next to rne leaned over. "Sir,I couldn't help overhearing. Tell me, what is your address?".隔壁窗口的出纳员探过身来说:“先生,我实在不怒愉听,但还是听到了,告诉我,您住在什么地才?”课堂前一分钟英语笑话篇三过分紧张My little girl loves animals,but one day she was bitten by asmall field mouse she'd found. She carried it home in her pocket and told me what happened. Worried about rabies,I called our town humane society and was told that the animal would have to be examined, and they'd send someone for it.我的小女儿喜欢动物。
英语课前三分钟笑话【英语短篇笑话两到三分钟带翻译】人之所以异于禽兽,最明显的一条就是爱看人出笑话,甚至连自己出的笑话也感兴趣,收藏笑话书是大家共同的爱好,特别是相声界和漫画界的人。
下面是小编带来的英语短篇笑话带翻译,欢迎阅读!英语短篇笑话带翻译篇一TwobirlsTeacher:Herearetwobirds,oneisaswallow,theotherissparrow .Nowwhocantelluswhichiswhich?Student:IcannotpointoutbutIknowtheanswer.Teacher:Pleasetellus.Student:Theswallowisbesidethesparrowandthesparrowisbesi detheswallow.两只鸟老师:这儿有两只鸟,一只是麻雀。
谁能指出哪只是燕子,哪只是麻雀吗?学生:我指不出,但我知道答案。
老师:请说说看。
学生:燕子旁边的就是麻雀,麻雀旁边的就是燕子。
英语短篇笑话带翻译篇二TheFishNet"Canyoutellmewhatfishnetismade,Ann?""Alotoflittleholestiedtogetherwithstrings."repliedtheli ttlegirl.鱼网"你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗,安?"老师发问道。
"把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。
"小女孩回答道。
英语短篇笑话带翻译篇三TheNewTeacherGeorgecomesfromschoolonthefirstofSeptember. "George,howdidyoulikeyournewteacher?"askedhismother."Ididn\'tlikeher,Mother,becauseshesaidthatthreeandthree weresixandthenshesaidthattwoandfourweresixtoo....."新老师9月1日,乔治放学回到家里。
课前三分钟英文短笑话笑话作为一种城市化的民间口头创作体裁,是一种重要的交际手段。
学习啦我整理了课前三分钟英文短笑话,欢迎阅读!课前三分钟英文短笑话:救出哪幅画?A newspaper organized a contest for the best answer to the question: If a fire broke out in the Louvre, and if you could only save one painting, which one would you carry out?一份报纸组织了一场竞赛,为下面的问题征集最正确答案:"假如卢浮宫起了火,而你只能救出一幅画,你将救出哪一幅?'The winning reply was: The one nearest the exit.获奖的答案是:"最接近门口的那一幅。
'课前三分钟英文短笑话:你爸爸帮你了吗?One day, Tims mathematics teacher looked at his homework and saw that he had got all his sums right. The teacher was very pleased-and rather surprised. He called Tim to his desk and said to him, You got all your homework right this time, Tim.What happened? Did your father help you?一天,蒂姆的数学老师看了他的作业,觉察他全做对了。
老师很高兴,同时也十分惊异。
他把蒂姆叫到桌前说:蒂姆,你这次的作业全都做对了,怎么回事?你爸爸帮你做了吗?No, sir. He was too busy last night, so I had to do it allmyself, said Tim.不,先生,我爸爸昨天很忙,我不得不全由自己做了。
小学英语课前三分钟小笑话带翻译一些幽默的英语故事,能提高我们阅读英语的兴趣,有些英语课前会将一些有趣的英语笑话。
今天店铺在这里为大家分享一些小学英语课前三分钟小笑话,欢迎大家阅读!小学英语课前三分钟小笑话(一)答非所问的各种搞笑对话What do sheep say to each other at Christmastime?绵羊在圣诞节会对其它同伴说什么?Merry Christmas to ewe(发音同you)!母羊圣诞节快乐。
(祝你圣诞节快乐)What's the best thing to put into Christmas dinner?把什么放进圣诞大餐上最好。
Your teeth!你的牙齿。
Why should Christmas dinner always be well done?为什么圣诞节都要吃大餐?So you can say "Merry Crispness"!因为你就可以说“吃得快乐”Knock Knock.咚咚咚。
Who's there?谁呀Mary.玛丽Mary who?哪个Mary?Mary Christmas!Mary Christmas(圣诞节快乐)A definition of Christmas:圣诞节的定义:The time when everyone gets "Santa"-mental.人人都为圣诞老人疯狂。
What did one Christmas cracker say to the other Christmas cracker?一个圣诞节爆竹会对另一个圣诞节爆竹说什么?My POP is bigger than yours!我的爆炸声比你的爆炸声大What do you call an elf who steals gift wrap from the rich and gives it to the poor?你把从富人家偷来礼物送给穷人家的精灵叫什么?Ribbon Hood!(Robin Hood)What comes at the end of Christmas Day?圣诞节Christmas Day最后的是什么?The letter "Y"!字母YWhat do angry mice send to each other in December?生气的老鼠在12月给每个人送什么?Cross mouse cards! 穿过老鼠卡(Christmas Card圣诞贺卡)What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?亚当在圣诞节前一晚说什么?It's Christmas, Eve!Eve,是圣诞节了。
英语经典笑话8篇店铺给大家带来了英语经典笑话,让你开心快乐每一天!英语经典笑话一:1.What dog can jump higher than a building?什么狗比大楼跳的还高?Anydog, buildings can't jump!任何一只狗,大楼又跳不起来。
英语经典笑话二:2.Teacher: whoever answers my next question, can go home. 老师:谁能回到我下一个问题,谁就可以回家了。
One boy throws his bag out the window.一个小男孩把书包扔到窗外。
Teacher: who just threw that?!老师:谁刚刚把书包扔出去了?Boy: Me! I’m going home now.男孩:我!我现在要回家了。
英语经典笑话三:3.What has a head, a tail, and no body?什么有头、有尾,但是没有身体?A coin!硬币。
英语经典笑话四:4.What has one eye but cannot see?什么有一只眼睛,却看不见?A needle.针。
英语经典笑话五:5.Wife: "How would you describe me?"妻子:你会怎么形容我呢?Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."丈夫:ABCDEFGHIJK.Wife: "What does that mean?"妻子:那是什么意思?Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot."丈夫:迷人的、魅力的、可爱的、令人愉悦的、优雅的、时髦的、漂亮的和火辣的。
Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"妻子:哇,谢谢,但是“IJK”是什么意思呢?Husband: "I'm just kidding!"丈夫:开个玩笑!英语经典笑话六:Lawyer and EngineerA lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the Caribbean. The lawyer said, "I'm here because my house burned down, and the insurance company paid for everything.""That's quite a coincidence," said the engineer. "I'm here because my house were destroyed by a flood, and my insurance company also paid for everything."The lawyer looked somewhat confused. "How do you start a flood?" he asked.一个律师与一个工程师在加勒比海边钓鱼。
英语课前一分钟笑话大全笑话一般比较短小,喜剧性很强,普遍存在于人们的日常生活中。
笑话的娱乐作用可以减轻人的心理压力,促进身体健康。
下面是店铺带来的课前一分钟英语笑话,欢迎阅读!课前一分钟英语笑话篇一An open-book exam 开卷考试On the day of our final exam at my Community College in Santa Maria, Calif., we heard that the bookstore had changed its policy and would buy back our business-management textbooks. Before class, several of us dashed over to the store and sold our books. We were seated and waiting for the test when our professor announced that considering the difficulty of the final, it would be an open-book exam.我在加利福尼亚的圣玛丽亚市一所社区大学读书。
期末考试那天,听说书店在回购我们的工商管理课本。
考试前,我们几个赶忙跑到书店把书卖了,随后,我们坐在教室里等着考试。
这时候教授宣布:考虑到试题的难度,今天的考试我们决定开卷。
课前一分钟英语笑话篇二A Promise 承诺The landlady1 said to the hard-up author: "When will you pay arrears2(拖欠,滞付) of room rent?"The author replied: "I will pay you as soon as I receive the check that the publisher will send me if he accepts the novel that I am about to start writing when I have found a suitable subject and the necessary inspiration. "房东太太对手头拮据的作家说:“你欠交的房租什么时候付清呀?”作家回答说:“等我找到了合适的主题,也有了必要的灵感,就立即着手写一本小说。
英语课前一分钟小笑话大全英语课前一分钟小笑话篇一点到痛处As a young lawyer working on my first big case,I was sitting in federal district court watching a prominent attorney question a witness. The attorney was trying,unsuc-cessfully, to elicit certain information. Finally the judge turned to the witness and asked a question that prompted the appropriate response.作为一个年径的律师,当我经手第一个大案时,我坐在联邦区法院里现看一名有声望的律师提问证人。
这位律师多次试图引出证人说出有用的证词,但都失败了。
最后该法官来问证人了,只见他跟证人说了一句话,就从证人那儿得到了满意的回答。
"Thank you,Your Honor,"the attorney said. "How is it that you were able.to get the cru某 of the matter with one question after I had tried three times?"“谢谢,尊敬的阁下.”律师说:“您跟他说了句什么就解决了我连问三次都问不出来的难题的呢?”"Easy,"replied the judge. "I'm not paid by the hour.”“容易,”法官说:“道理很简单,我不是按小时拿钱。
”英语课前一分钟小笑话篇二消除谈话障碍We own a small foreign car,the hinges of which are e某posed to the weather and sometimes squeak. One day I was oiling the hinges when our landlord walked by.”What are you trying to do?"he asked. "Take the foreign accent out of it?"我们有辆进口车,由于纹链幕露在外雨琳日晒的,所以,有时吱吱响。
课前的英文小笑话整理
I Can’t Let Him Get Away
A male crab met a female crab and asked her to marry him. She noticed that he was walking straight instead ofsideways. Wow, she thought, “this crab is really special. I can't let him get away. ”So they got married immediately.”
The next day she noticed her new husband walking sidewayslike all the other crabs, and got upset. "What happened?" she asked. "You used to walk straight before we were married."
"Oh, honey, " he replied, "I can't drink that much every day.”
I think that I'm a chicken
Psychiatrist: What's your problem?
Patient: I think I'm a chicken.
Psychiatrist: How long has this been going on?
Patient: Ever since I was an egg!
A man asks a farmer near a field, “Sorry sir, would you mind if I crosse d your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train.”
The farmer says, “Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you’ll even catch the 4:11 one.”
Mother: "How was school today, Patrick?"
Patrick: "It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!" Mother: "Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?"
Patrick: "What school?"
A man who was robbed when he was walking on the street. Later on he went to the police station and he was asked by a policeman, “Why didn’t you shout for help when you were robbed of your watch?” He said, “If I had opened my mouth, the robber would have found my four gold teeth
and that’d be much worse.”
On the bus a man discovered a pickpocket's hand thrust into his pocket.
"sorry," he said to the pickpocket, " you are too late. My wife did it before you."。