英文已很搞笑翻译却更残暴

英语幽默笑话带翻译新 GE GROUP system office room 【GEIHUA16H-GEIHUA GEIHUA8Q8-英语幽默笑话带翻译1:A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital. His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill." "I am afraid that he is dead." said the doctor, Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I'm not dead. I'm still alive." "Be quiet, "said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!" 医生懂得多一个男人在街上被出租车撞倒送进了医院.他的妻子站在他的床前对医生说:"我想他伤得很厉害."医生说:"我怕他已经死了."听到医生的话,这个男人转动着头说:"我没死,我还活着."妻子说:"安静,医生比你懂得多."2:You can't go without meThe bus is very crowded. A man tries to get on, but no one gives way to him."Hey, let me get on the bus." the man shouts."It's too crowded. You'd better take the next bus." a passenger says to him."But you can't go without me. I'm the driver." the man says.没有我你们走不了公共汽车上很拥挤.一位男士想上车,但是没有人给他让路."喂,让我上车!"那位男士喊道."车太挤了,你最好坐下一辆"车上的一位乘客对他说."但是没有我你们走不了.我是司机!"那位男士说道.3:DrunkOne day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk." "But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"醉酒一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。

但是某生的答案是： 1）Shit! 2）Hello?
老师在黑板上写了一句：Time is money. 并让同学们翻译。有名学生答道：“汤姆是玛 丽。” 某日刘洪涛遇到外宾，上前搭话曰：I am hongtao liu，外宾曰：我他妈还是方片七呢！
一对热恋中的男女。女生非常没有安全感，于 是对着男友说：“SAY ‘I LOVE YOU!!’SAY IT! SAY IT! SAY IT!” 男的答道：“IT!”
吐槽：外星人真的来过!
英语小笑话
某次英文考试有两道题目： 1）我穿上外套，却发现第一个扣子掉了。 2）他听见电话铃响，就过去接了电话。 正确答案应为： 1）I put on my coat and found its first button was gone. 2）As soon as he heard the phone ringing, he went to pick it up.
谢谢观赏!
一阳指 one finger just like a pen is ( 一只手指像 笔一样?? ) 洗髓经 wash bone (洗骨头?? ) 苗家刀法 maio’’s sword (苗家的刀 ) 易筋经 change your bone (换你的骨头.) 龙象波若功 D and E comble togeter (龙和象的混合 体???) 梯云纵心法 elevator jump (电梯跳跃????) 轻功水上飘 flying skill (飞行技能 ) 小无相功 a unseen power (一种看不见的力量???)
译趣横生
唐雅素
猜一猜
lover
情人
爱人
busboy
餐馆勤杂工
公汽售票员
dead president

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.翻译：开始我直接求上帝赐辆自行车。

后来我琢磨上帝办事儿不是这个路数。

于是老子偷了一辆然后求上帝宽恕。

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.翻译：我希望能像爷爷那样，安静地在睡梦中死去……而不是要像他开的车上那些惨叫滴乘客一样死法啊！3、Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.你永远不能战胜一个纯SB,因为他会把你的智商拉到跟他个水平,然后用丰富的经验打败你4、The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on the list.直译：在这个世界上,我最不愿意做的事就是伤害你,但是这件事仍在我的考虑之列。

意译a：我真不想伤害你，但你也别逼我。

意译b：吾虽不杀伯仁，伯仁由我而死。

、If sex is a pain in the ass, then you’re doing it wrong…a. 如觉嘿咻乃屁（和谐）眼不能承受之痛，那是你操错洞…b. 若XXOO是下体的痛，那么，是你操错。

8、Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.XXOO就象打桥牌。

36、Laugh at your problems, everyｂｏｄｙelse does.
a.对你的问题哈哈大笑吧，别人都在这么做。
b.你有什么不开心的？说出来给大家开心开心。
37、The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!
b:所谓知识就是知道韩少和小四都属于80后，但智慧的mp告诉你这终还是男女有别~
24、If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.
上帝瞅着咱们呢，大伙好歹喜感点吧！
25、Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on thesame night.
b.若XXOO是下体的痛，那么，是你操错。
6、The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
a.早起滴小鸟有虫虫！晚到的老鼠有奶酪！
b.早起的鸟儿有虫吃，早起的虫儿被鸟吃。
7、We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.
在咱们这噶哒送外卖的都比pol.ice来的快.
8、Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
XXOO就象打桥牌。如果对手不好使，自己的手必须好使。

搞笑的英文单词翻译及例句搞笑，是指有意的作出一些举动或者发表一些可笑的言论来引人发笑，那么，你知道搞笑的英语怎么说吗?现在随店铺一起来学习关于搞笑的英语知识吧。

搞笑的英文释义make laughs搞笑的英文释例句所有小孩子跑起来都很搞笑，但是你有尝试过像他们一样吗?All little kids run in a funny way but have you tried running that way?逃避者很搞笑，但是逃避者不应成为男孩们所追求的东西。

逃避者不喜欢学校，他们躲避责任。

Slackers are funny, but slackers are not what boys should strive to be; slackersdon’t like school and they shirk responsibility.每一个坚持下来的摄影师同样依赖着其他人的照片，这些照片可能是公开的或者私有的，严肃的或者搞笑的，但是也提醒他们社会的存在。

Every photographer who has lasted has depended on other people's pictures too– photographs that may be public or private, serious or funny, but that carry withthem a reminder of community.辛格如是说，“在现实生活中他可以是忧郁的，可以是搞笑的，他可以是任何情况。

In real life he can be dark, he can be funny, he can be anything.我今天不庆祝生日，但我收集编译了一些有关生日的搞笑语录，供大家学习漂亮的平易英语之用。

I will not celebrate my Birthday today, but I have collectedand translated somefunny birthday quotes for you to learn good and plain English.在戏剧仓库的爸爸。

史上最搞笑的英语笑话带翻译英语幽默笑话带翻译1:A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital. His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill." "I am afraid that he is dead."said the doctor, Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I'm not dead. I'm still alive." "Be quiet, "said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!" 医生懂得多一个男人在街上被出租车撞倒送进了医院.他的妻子站在他的床前对医生说:"我想他伤得很厉害."医生说:"我怕他已经死了."听到医生的话,这个男人转动着头说:"我没死,我还活着."妻子说:"安静,医生比你懂得多."2:You can't go without meThe bus is very crowded.Aman tries to get on,but no one gives way to him. "Hey,let me get on the bus."the man shouts."It's too crowded.You'd better take the next bus."a passenger says to him."But you can't go withou me.I'm the driver."the man says. 没有我你们走不了公共汽车上很拥挤.一位男士想上车,但是没有人给他让路."喂,让我上车!"那位男士喊道."车太挤了,你最好坐下一辆"车上的一位乘客对他说."但是没有我你们走不了.我是司机!"那位男士说道.3:DrunkOne day, a father and his little son were going home. Atthis age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," hisfather replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk.""But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"醉酒一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。

英语爆笑笑话5篇带翻译超搞笑的下面是店铺整理的英语爆笑笑话5篇，欢迎大家阅读!英语爆笑笑话一：Hospitality好客The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-piewithout any cheese.由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时，家里没有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。

The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returnedwith a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate.这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。

过了一会儿，他拿着一片奶酪回到房间，把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。

The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You musthave better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?"客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。

你在哪里找到的奶酪?”"In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy.“在捕鼠夹上，先生。

”那小男孩说。

英语爆笑笑话二：太黑了，看不见After supper, the parents were busy playing mah-jong with the guests. At this point the mother thought of something and said to her son who was watching TV, "Honey, go see if the kitchen light is on or not?" After a while, her son returned and said, "Ma, the kitchen is so dark that I cannot see it at all."晚饭后，父亲和母亲都忙着和客人玩麻将，这时母亲忽然想起点儿事来，便对正在看电视的儿子说道：“宝贝，去看看厨房里的灯是不是还开着呢?”过了一会儿，儿子回来说：“妈，厨房里太黑了，我根本就看不见。

爆笑英语笑话带翻译爆笑英语笑话带翻译冷笑话是近几年出现的一个新词,也是一种出现在我们身边的不可忽视的新的语言现象,它具有强大的生命力,一时间大红大紫。

店铺精心收集了爆笑英语笑话带翻译，供大家欣赏学习!爆笑英语笑话带翻译篇1A school report学校成绩单The father was reading the school report which had just been handed to him by his hopeful son. His brow was wrathful(愤怒的) as he read,父亲在看他那满怀希望的儿子带回来的学校成绩单。

他边看边露出愤怒的表情："English, poor. French, weak. mathematics, fair." and he gave a glance of disgust at the quaking lad(少年，小伙子).“英语，差;法语，差;数学，中。

”他厌恶地瞥了在发抖的儿子一眼。

"Well, Dad." said the son, "It is not as good as it might be, but have you seen that?" And he pointed to the next line which read, "health, excellent."“爸爸，”儿子说，“可能成绩不够理想。

但您看到那一项了吗?”他指了指下一行：“健康状况，优。

”爆笑英语笑话带翻译篇2A Smart Parrot聪明的鹦鹉A curious guy goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. There he sees a parrot with a red string tied to its left leg and a green string tied to it's right leg. He asks the owner the significance of the strings1. "Well, this is a highly trained parrot. If you pull the redstring he speaks French; if you pull the green string he speaks German," replies the shop keeper.有个人去宠物店买鹦鹉。

非常搞笑的英语翻译很多人说起一些中式英语,常常令人啼笑皆非,下面是网友收集的一些经典的中式英语笑话,当然很多是杜撰的,看看你听说过几条How are you How old are you怎么是你,怎么老是你You have seed. I will give you some color to see see. BrothersTogether up 你有种,我要给你点颜色瞧瞧,兄弟们,一起上Dragon born dragon, chicken born chicken, mouse"s son can make hole龙生龙,凤生凤,老鼠的儿子会打洞Chickens That Did Not Have Sexual Experience 童子鸡You ask me,me ask who 你问我,我问谁Heart flower angry open. 心花怒放Horse horse tiger tiger. 马马虎虎Good good study, day day up. 好好学习,天天向上No three no four. 不三不四Know is know, noknow is noknow. 知之为知之,不知为不知If you want money, I have no; if you want life, I have one要钱没有,要命一条watch sister 表妹fire big 火大As far as you go to die. 有多远,死多远We two who and who 咱俩谁跟谁people moumtain people sea 人山人海但是最近我在海外华人论坛上看到流传一组照片,是外国人的英译中文,更加令人捧腹;有美国网友在搭乘皇家加勒比海Royal Caribbean邮轮出游时,发现邮轮上菜单的翻译十分搞笑;这份菜单上有着多国语言的翻译,有网友说,这根本就是Google翻译再版,例如英式烟肉English Bacon被直译为“英语培根”,而全脂牛奶Regular Milk则被翻成“规则牛奶”,绿豆汤Green Spilt Pea Soup变成“绿分裂豌豆汤”;不仅如此,更夸张的还有,新鲜时令蔬菜Garden Greens竟然被翻译成“花园成为绿色”,最离谱的就是,鸡肉磨菇挞Chicken and Mushroom tart成了“胆小和迅速增长的妓女”,爆笑的翻译让内地网友们纷纷表示,“谁说只有中国人乱翻英文,美国人翻译中文更给力”;。

20XX年好笑的英语笑话带翻译大全冷笑话作为一种新兴的语言现象，越来越受到大家的关注，尤其在网络、杂志、微博、电影上十分盛行。

冷笑话不同于一般的笑话，以其独特的制笑机制，能瞬间制造出一种特殊氛围。

本文是好笑的英语笑话带翻译，希望对大家有帮助!好笑的英语笑话带翻译篇一聪明的鹦鹉A curious guy goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. There he sees a parrot with ared string tied to its left leg and a green string tied to it's right leg. Heasks the owner the significance of the strings. “Well, this is a highly trained parrot.If you pull the red string he speaks French; if you pull the green string he speaks German,"replies the shop keeper."And what happens if I pull both the strings?" our curious shopper inquires."I fall off my perch you fool!!" screeches the parrot.1/ 5[译文]有个人去宠物店买鹦鹉。

在那里，他看见有只鹦鹉的左腿被红线系住，右腿则被绿线系住。

对此他感到不解，于是他问该店的老板，老板回答说：“这只鹦鹉受过特殊的训练。

如果拉红线，它就讲法语，拉绿线，它则讲德语。

”这个好奇的人接着问，“要是我两条线都拉，会怎么样呢?”“我就会掉下来了，你这个傻瓜!!”鹦鹉尖叫着说。

现在互联网上有各种各样丰富的学习资源，可以听英语歌曲、看英语电影、听英语广播等等方式来巩固语言基础，同时也可以提高对英语语言的接触频率。
3. 提高对英语的兴趣
学习一门外语最重要的是提高兴趣。可以通过关注一些英语短剧、英语段子等来培养对英语的兴趣，从而达到轻松地学习英语的效果。
4. 坚持不懈
学习一门外语需要长期的坚持，不能三天打鱼两天晒网。每天都要抽出一定的时间来学习，无论是背单词、学习语法还是进行听力练习，坚持不懈是提高英语水平的关键。
总的来说，学习一门外语需要靠自己的努力和坚持，如果能够克服一些困难，相信最终会有所收获。希望那些英语不好的人能够通过各种方法，克服困难，提高自己的英语水平，同时也希望大家在学习英语的过程中能够轻松愉快，不再感到憋屈。
中文：你太美了。
5. 总是用错误的时态来表达事件
英文：I go to school yesterday.
中文：我昨天去学校。
这些段子或许会让我们感到好笑，但是对于那些真正苦于英语学习的人来说，这可能是一个无法逾越的障碍。然而，学习一门外语并不是一件容易的事情，特别是对于一些成年人来说。他们不仅要克服语言的障碍，还要兼顾工作和家庭的压力，所以要学好英语并不是一蹴而就的事情。
那么，对于那些英语不好的人来说，如何才能够轻松愉快地学习英语呢？下面我将分享一些有效的学习方法：
1. 注重日常口语的练习
学习一门外语最重要的是要有勇气开口说。不要懂了却不敢说，即使会说错也要勇敢尝试。可以找一些语伴或者参加语言交换活动，多与外国人进行交流，提升口语表达能力。
2. 利用多媒体资源进行学习
英语不好的搞笑段子带翻译
近年来，随着全球化的发展，学习英语已经成为越来越多人的必备技能。但是有些人不管怎么学习，就是对英语无法掌握，经常在使用英语时出现各种憋屈的情况。今天我就来分享一些关于英语不好的搞笑段子，并附上相对应的中文翻译，希望大家能够轻松愉快地笑一笑。

英语幽默笑话带翻译1:A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital. His wife who was standing up by his bed; said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill." "I am afraid that he is dead."said the doctor; Hearing this; the man moved his head and said: "I'm not dead. I'm still alive." "Be quiet; "said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you"医生懂得多一个男人在街上被出租车撞倒送进了医院.他的妻子站在他的床前对医生说:"我想他伤得很厉害."医生说:"我怕他已经死了."听到医生的话;这个男人转动着头说:"我没死;我还活着."妻子说:"安静;医生比你懂得多." 2:You can't go without meThe bus is very crowded.Aman tries to get on;but no one gives way to him."Hey;let me get on the bus."the man shouts."It's too crowded.You'd better take the next bus."a passenger says to him."But you can't go withou me.I'm the driver."the man says.没有我你们走不了公共汽车上很拥挤.一位男士想上车;但是没有人给他让路."喂;让我上车"那位男士喊道."车太挤了;你最好坐下一辆"车上的一位乘客对他说."但是没有我你们走不了.我是司机"那位男士说道.3:DrunkOne day; a father and his little son were going home. At this age; the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now; he asked; "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk'; dad " "Well; my son;" his father replied; "look; there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk.""But; dad;" the boy said; " there's only ONE policeman"醉酒一天;父亲与小儿子一道回家..这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄;老是有提不完的问题..他向父亲发问道：“爸爸;‘醉’字是什么意思” “唔;孩子;”父亲回答说;“你瞧那儿站着两个警察..如果我把他们看成了四个;那么我就算醉了..” “可是;爸爸; ”孩子说;“那儿只有一个警察呀”4:HospitalityThe hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled; put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother; sonny. Where did you find the cheese " "In the rat-trap; sir;" replied the boy.好客由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时;家里没有奶酪了;于是女主人向大家表示歉意..这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子..过了一会儿;他拿着一片奶酪回到房间;把奶酪放在客人的盘子里.. 客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说：“孩子;你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好..你在哪里找到的奶酪” “在捕鼠夹上;先生..”那小男孩说..5:Dear white; something you got to know .When I was born; I was black.When I grow up; I am blackWhen I'm under the sun; I'm blackWhen I'm cold; I'm blackWhen I'm afraid; I'm black.When I'm sick; I'm black.When I die; I'm still black.you---white people;When you were born; you were pink.When you grow up; you become white.You're red under the sun.You're blue when you're cold.You are yellow when you're afraid.You're green when you're sick.You're gray when you die.And you; call me "color"亲爱的白种人;有几件事你必须知道.. 当我出生时;我是黑色的我长大了;我是黑色的我在阳光下;我是黑色的我寒冷时;我是黑色的我害怕时;我是黑色的我生病了;我是黑色的当我死了;我仍是黑色的..你---白种人;当你出生时;你是粉红色的..你长大了;变成白色的..你在阳光下;你是红色的..你寒冷时;你是青色的..你害怕时;你是黄色的..你生病时;你是绿色的..当你死时;你是灰色的..而你;却叫我「有色人种」6：Where is the fatherTwo brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings. "Look;" said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are" "Yes;" said the younger; "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father "The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained; "Obviously he was painting the pictures."兄弟俩在看一些漂亮的油画..“看;”哥哥说;“这些画多漂亮呀”“是啊;”弟弟说道;“可是在所有这些画中;只有妈妈和孩子..那爸爸去哪儿了呢”哥哥想了会儿;然后解释道：“很明显;他当时正在画这些画呗..”7：How Many RabbitsTeacher: Now; Jonathan; if I gave you three rabbits and then the next day I gave you five rabbits; how many rabbits would you have Jonathan: Nine; sir.Teacher: NineJonathan: I've got one already; sir.多少只兔子老师：好;乔纳森;假如我给你三只兔子;第二天我又给你五只;你一共有多少只兔子乔纳森：一共有九只;先生..老师：九只乔纳森：先生;我本来就有一只..8：These Are My JeansAfter going on a diet;a woman felt really good aboutherself----especially when she was able to fit into a pair of jeans she had outgrown long ago．“Look;look．” she shouted while running downs tairs to show her husband．“I can wear my old jeans again．”Her husband looked at her for a long time;when said;“Honey;I love you;but these are my jeans．”那是我的裤子一个妇女在减肥一段时间后自我感觉特别好——特别是当她又能穿上很早以前就穿不上的牛仔裤时..她跑下楼冲她丈夫喊道：“快看;快看..我又能穿上以前的裤子了..”她丈夫看了她好一会儿;然后说：“亲爱的;我爱你..但那是我的裤子..”9：The mean man's partyThe notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment; he said; "Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open; push with your foot.""Why use my elbow and foot ""Well; gosh;" was the reply; "You're not coming empty-hangded; are you "吝啬鬼请客一个出了名的吝啬鬼终于决定要请一次客了..他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说：“你上到五楼;找中间那个门;然后用你的胳膊肘按门铃..门开了之后;再用你的脚把门推开..”“为什么要用我的肘和脚呢”“你的双手得拿礼物啊..天哪;你总不会空着手来吧”吝啬鬼回答..10：All I do is pay"My family is just like a nation;" Mr. Brown told his colleague. "My wife is the minister of finance; my mother-in-law is the minister of war; and my daughter is foreign secretary.""Sounds interesting; " his colleague replied. "And what is your position ""I'm the people. All I do is pay."我要做的一切就是付钱布朗先生告诉同事说：“我的家简直就象一个国家一样..我妻子是财政部长..我岳母是作战部长;我女儿是外交秘书..”“听上去挺有意思的;”他的同事说;“那你的职务是什么呢”“我就是老百姓..我要做的一切就是付钱..”1. What room has no walls; no doors; no windows; and no floorsA mushroom.蘑菇2. What is smaller than an insect's mouthAnything it eats.3. What large instrument do you carry in your earsDrums; that is eardrums.鼓膜4. What's too much for one; just right for two; but nothing at all for threeA secret.5. What person tried to make you smile most of the timeA photographer.6. What animal has a head like a cat; eyes like a cat; a tail like a cat; but isn't a catA kitten.小猫7. What surprising things happen every 24 hoursDay breaks; but doesn't fall; night falls; but doesn't break.8. What can hear you without ears and can answer you withouta mouthAn echo.回声9. What do you know about the kings of FranceThey are all dead.10. What question can you never answer 'yes" to"Are you asleep11. Why do some old people never use glassesThey must prefer bottles to glasses.12. Why is the person wearing two coats while painting the houseBecause the instructions on the paint can say "Put on two coats for best results."13. What two words have thousands of letters in themPost office.14. What do workers do in a clock factoryThey make faces all day.15. What 5-letter word has 6 left when you take 2 letters awaySixty.16. When do you go as fast as a racing carWhen you are in it.17. How many sides does a house haveTwo - inside and outside.18. What never asks any questions but always gets answersA doorbell.19. Where did Columbus stand when he discovered AmericaOn his feet.20. When the boy fell into the water; what's the first thing he didHe got wet first of all.21. Who isn't your sister and isn't your brother; but is still a child of your mother and fatherI myself.22. What has teeth but cannot eatA comb.23. What kind of man can raise things without lifting themA farmer.24. Why does time flyTo get away from all the people who are trying to kill it.25. Name five days of the week without saying: Monday; Tuesday; Wednesday; Thursday; Friday.The day before yesterday; yesterday; today; tomorrow; and the day after tomorrow.26. What animal eats and drinks with its tailAll do. No animal takes off its tail when eating and drinking.27. What has a soft bed but never sleeps; a big mouth but never speaksA river.28. What kind of dog never biteA hot dog.29. Why does the Statue of Liberty stand in New York HarborBecause it can't sit down.30. What did one invisible man say to the other invisible manIt's nice not to see you again.31. What wears a cap but has no headA bottle.32. What rises in the morning and waves all dayA flag.33. What is an astronomer 天文学家A night watchman with a college education.34. How can you tell clocks and watches are shyBecause they always have their hands in front of their faces.35. What is windAir in a hurry.36. What comes after the letter "A"All the other letters.37. What starts with a T; ends with a T; and is full of TTeapot.38. What word can you make shorter by adding to itShort.39. What person does every man take his hat off toA barber.40. Why does the boy carry a ladder to the schoolBecause he wants to go to high school.41. What can you swallow that can also swallow youWater.42. What's the difference between a hill and a pillA hill is hard to get up and a pill is hard to get down.43. Why is it useless to send a letter to WashingtonBecause he's dead.44. A doctor and a lawyer loved the same girl. The lawyer went away for a week and gave the girl seven apples before he left. WhyBecause an apple a day keeps the doctor away.45. What will you do if a man-eating tiger is running after youNothing. Because I'm a woman.46. What always travels on footA shoe.47. Where can happiness always be foundIn the dictionary.48. What is higher without a head than with a headA pillow.枕头49. Why don't you advertise for your lost dogHe can't read.50. On which side does a bird have the most feathers The outside.51. What is the best thing to keep in hot weather Cool52. What is never used until it's brokenAn egg.53. What's a skeleton 骨架It's a lot of bones without the person on them54. What is dark but made by lightA shadow.55. What can you break with only one wordSilence.56. What stays indoors no matter how many times you put it outThe light.57. A policeman saw a truck driver going the wrong way downa one-way street; but didn't give him a ticket. WhyBecause the truck driver was walking.58. Where can milk be best storedIn a cow.59. Which can move faster; heat or coldHeat; because you can catch cold easily.60. What's the hardest thing about learning skatingThe ice.61. What has cities with no houses; rivers without water and forests without treesA map.62. What can be measured but has no length; width or thicknessThe temperature.63. What makes the Tower of Pisa leanIt never eats.64. Why is writing called handwritingIf people wrote with their feet; we would have to call it footwriting.65. If there were only thre girls in the world; what do you think they would doTwo of them would get together ans talk about the other one.66. How many great men have been born in LondonNone. Only babies.67. When can you have an empty pocket and still have something in itWhen you have a hole in your pocket.68. The greater it is; the less it can be seen. What is itDarkness.69. The more you take away; the bigger I become. What am IA hole.70. Who may marry many a wife and stay single all of his lifeA priest.牧师。

生活中你有没有看过如此爆笑的错误英语翻译段子哥原本高高兴兴走在街上直到看到了这一幕日常搞笑英语翻译“荡起梦想，我有力量”很正常的标语完全没毛病再看了一下英语“Dang qi dream，I have the power”“荡起”这个词已经高大上到无法用英文来翻译了吗?于是哥今天就想吐槽一下那些年我们遇到的神翻译公共场所神翻译不知道你见没见过不少公共场所的英语“神翻译”呢稀奇古怪的菜名以及雷人标语让人哭笑不得......歪果仁看了读不懂rice、noodle过桥米线：这么黄暴直白的翻译，谁干的?干菜：Fuck you!外国人看到一脸懵逼“慢慢滑到?”这是什么指定动作吗?默默的问一句我可不可以不滑倒歪果游客从来不敢走进这片树林……这片树林会杀人的好可怕外国来的和尚也念不好这经啊……字面翻译，没毛病这个一定是火星语了吧关键是我还看懂了画风突然一变呢不想打手机想打设计师看到这块牌子病人顿时充满了痊愈的希望……安宁是个好地方来安宁吧，朋友!字斟句酌，精准到位!小买怡情，大买伤身强买灰飞烟灭……谢谢您的关心!再您妈的见!!要怪就怪中文太深奥了吧歪果仁神翻译原本就听不太懂他们讲话经过他们的神来之笔的翻译完了更懵逼了看懂了日语没看懂中文哥这语言天赋行还是不行啊?其实....我从猩猩变人的时候尾巴就没了我一个黄花大小伙儿包钟200包夜500吃饭就吃饭咋还骂人呢?我还69咖喱饭呢香蕉：你是苹果派来的内奸不是! 海鲜汤饭的中文名从大城市的mary变成了东北的马力饭就不吃了我怕代价太大被我吃是你的荣幸长得丑的也不能拉在大街上吧我的朋友连句子都读不好哪配吃这么高端的东西我现在发愁的是咋运回去锅炉房这么不可告人吗?东北人翻译的吧你凭啥命令我到底是谁下达了什么命令我们中国人招你惹你了?我攒了一辈子钱出来玩儿你让我回去嗯嗯，我就是来接它回家的正在写推送请怎么着看完点赞字幕组神翻译——眼瞎组——以下字幕君的数学是体育老师教的吧还有睁眼说瞎话的——网瘾少年组——各种网络热梗，扎心了!一看就知道你们经常刷微博了——中国特色组——字幕君为了达到翻译本地化也是费了一番心思啊……《神秘博士》(Doctor Who)中的River Song 被无情地翻译成了宋江……——绞尽脑汁组——有的字幕君真的很拼命!碰到难翻的台词他们也能硬翻出来谢耳朵说的是“麦克斯韦”开始怀疑自己的翻译好好琢...磨一下...——自暴自弃组——有绞尽脑汁的当然就有自暴自弃的说不翻就不翻……——中文十级组——不过还有有一批良心字幕君的他们能把英文翻出中文韵味文采了得……看完哥算是明白了不当段子手的字幕君不是好翻译!看着这些让人流泪的神翻译更加坚定了我要学习一门新语言的想法虽然学习语言很难但是真的感兴趣还是可以坚持一下的你看哥除了普通话东北话也说得挺好的总之学好一门语言撩到一群妹子。

英语幽默笑话带翻译1:A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital. His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill." "I am afraid that he is dead." said the doctor,Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I'm not dead. I'm still alive." "Be quiet, "said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!"医生懂得多一个男人在街上被出租车撞倒送进了医院.他的妻子站在他的床前对医生说:"我想他伤得很厉害."医生说:"我怕他已经死了."听到医生的话,这个男人转动着头说:"我没死,我还活着."妻子说:"安静,医生比你懂得多." 2:You can't go without meThe bus is very crowded. A man tries to get on, but no one gives way to him.?? "Hey, let me get on the bus." the man shouts.?? "It's too crowded. You'd better take the next bus." a passenger says to him.?? "But you can't go without me. I'm the driver." the man says.???没有我你们走不了?? 公共汽车上很拥挤.一位男士想上车,但是没有人给他让路.?? "喂,让我上车!"那位男士喊道.?? "车太挤了,你最好坐下一辆"车上的一位乘客对他说.?? "但是没有我你们走不了.我是司机!"那位男士说道.3:DrunkOne day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk.""But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"醉酒一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。

今日爆笑：本年度最搞笑的10句英语“神”翻译，是在下输了...1/10If you do not leave me, I will by your side until the life end.常规翻译：如果你不离开我，直到生命尽头我都会在你身边。

开脑洞（%）20%：你若不离不弃，我必生死相依。

30%：问世间情为何物？直教人生死相许。

50%：如果不滚开，我就和你同归于尽。

99%：天地合，乃敢与君绝。

2/10Like a dog, like a god.常规翻译：像一条狗，又像上帝。

开脑洞（%）50%：好像突然有了软肋，也突然有了铠甲。

80%：像汪又像王，想忘又向往。

99%：前期怂比狗头人，后期超神人头狗。

3/10I never change whatever U change.常规翻译：不管你变成什么样，我都不会变。

开脑洞（%）99%：电流不随电压改变而改变。

（电流：安培“I”；电压：伏特“U”）4/10If you think you can, you can.常规翻译：如果你觉得你可以，那你就可以！开脑洞（%）99%：如果你认为你是个罐头，你就是个罐头。

5/10An apple everyday keeps a doctor away.常规翻译：一天一苹果，医生远离我。

开脑洞（%）80%：一天一个App，博士学位远离我。

99%：一天一遍小苹果，医生也救不了我。

6/10You are the apple of my eye.常规翻译：你是我的掌上明珠。

开脑洞（%）99%：你是我的小呀小苹果儿。

（吓！...不小心给唱出来了...医生请别放弃我！）7/10You share rose get fun.常规翻译：赠人玫瑰，手有余香。

开脑洞（%）99%：鱼香肉丝盖饭。

（...貌似真有外国朋友用这句....点餐）8/10I saw a saw saw a saw.常规翻译：我看到一把锯子在锯一把锯子。