3分钟幽默英语小故事
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英语幽默小故事〔共8篇〕篇1:英语幽默小故事 Don't Pick Up the Money on the GroundAn economist professor and a student are walking down the street when they see a $20 bill lying on the sidewalk in front of them. The student goes to pick up the money but his professor stops him and tells him not to bother.Why not?If it were a real twenty-dollar bill, someone would have picked it up already.Everything that can be invented has been invented.别捡地上的钱一位经济学教授和一名学生正在大街上行走,这时他们看到前面的人行道上躺着一张20美元面值的钞票。
学生走过去准备捡,教授制止了他,告诉他别自寻烦恼。
“为什么不捡?”“假设那是一张真20美元钞票的话,早就有人捡走了。
”“该创造的都已经被创造出来了。
”篇2:英语幽默小故事 The Less You Know, the More Money You MakeTheorem: Engineers and scientists will never make as much money as business executives.Now a rigorous mathematical proof that explains why this is true:Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power.Postulate 2: Time is Money.As every engineer knows, Power=Work/Time. Since Knowledge=Power, and Time=Money, we haveKnowledge=Work/Money. Solving for Money, we get: Money=Work/Knowledge.Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity regardless of the Work done.Conclusion: The less you know, the more money you make.知识越少挣钱越多定理:工程师和科学家永远应当比经济专家挣钱少。
超级搞笑英语笑话小短文【篇一】超级搞笑英语笑话小短文给予与提取M.friend’.preparation.fo..visi.fro.he.childre.incl ude..tri.t.th.bank.Waitin.i.lin.a.th.teller’.windo mente.t.th.middle-age.ma.behind.her,”M.childre.ar.i.thei.20’s,an.I’.stil.givin.the.money.Whe.doe.i.end?”我的朋友为其子女的光临做着一些准备工作。
这些工作当然包括要到银行去一超。
当她在出纳员的窗外排队等候时,她对她身后的一位中年男子说:“我的孩子们都20多岁了,可我仍然得给他们钱。
这种事什么时候才算完呢?””I’.no.sure,”th.ma.replie.whil.glancin.uncomfortabl.a..pape.i.hi .hand,”bu.I`.no.th.on.t.ask.I’.her.t.deposi..chec.m.mothe .gav.me.”“我可不知道。
”那位男子边回答边不安地看着手里拿着的那张纸。
“我可不是你该问的人,我到这儿是来支取我妈妈给我的支票的。
”【篇二】超级搞笑英语笑话小短文妻子的欲望.woma.an.he.husban.wer.ou.shoppin.whe.sh.realiz e.tha.sh.neede.t.purchas.som.hai.colo.fo.he.grayin. hair.一位女士在与他的丈夫购物时,她意识到她该为她的灰白头发买些染发水了。
”Whe.ar.yo.goin.t.sto.buyin.tha.expensiv.stuf.,”complaine.th.husband.”an.le.you.hai.g.gra.lik.Barbar.Bush?”她丈夫抱怨说:“你什么时候才能停止买那些昂贵的东西,而让你的头发长成像芭芭拉.布什(总统夫人)的头发那样灰白呢?””Th.da.tha.you’r.inaugurated,”th.wif.replied.“那就要等到你就职的那天了。
英语搞笑小故事3分钟笑话一般比较短小,喜剧性很强,普遍存在于人们的日常生活中。
笑话的娱乐作用可以减轻人的心理压力,促进身体健康。
小编精心收集了3分钟英语搞笑小故事,供大家欣赏学习!3分钟英语搞笑小故事篇1Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall.Observers waited for mayhem to ensue.三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺。
旁观者等着瞧好戏。
The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!"右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌,上书:“大减价!”“特便宜!”The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!"左边的商店挂出了更大的招牌,声称:“大砍价!”“大折扣!”The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE".中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌,上面只简单地写着:“入口处”。
3分钟英语搞笑小故事篇2A friend of mine who teachs European history at Washington University in St. Louis tell aboutthe time he spotted a plagiarized term paper. He summoned the student to his office. "This isn'tyour work." he said. "Someone typed it for you straight out of the encyclopedia. "You cann'tprove that!" the student sputtered. My friend amiled and show him the paper. Circled in redwas: "Also see article on communism."我有个朋友在圣路易斯的华盛顿大学教欧洲历史,他说有一次他发现了一篇抄袭的学期论文。
1、Good use of cry 哭的妙用The parents with their three-year-old son went to see film.When they walked into the cinema, the attendant said to them,“you’ll have to go out if your son cries. But we’ll refundyou the tickets.” About half an hour later, the husbandasked his wife, “What do you think of the film?”“I’ve never seen such a boring film.” His wife answered.“It’s not worth seeing.”“I don’t think much of it, either.” The husband said.“Wake the child up and let him cry.”一对夫妇带着他们3岁的儿子去看电影。
进电影院时,服务员对他们说:“如果你们的儿子哭了,你们就得出去。
不过我们会给你们退票的。
”大约半个小时以后,丈夫对妻子说:“你觉得这电影怎么样?”“我从没看过这么没劲的电影。
”妻子回答说,“真不值得看。
”“我也不喜欢看。
”丈夫说:“叫醒孩子,让他哭。
”2、What a Smart Wife家有笨妻A newly married woman was sitting on a chair,looking vexed, when her husband came home."What's up? Why do you look so troubled?"the husband asked. The woman replied,"I'm so sorry. I was ironing your new suit andburned a hole in your trousers." And the man said,"That's all right. I have another pair that is exactly the same.""Thank God you do. I used it to mend this pair,"the wife responded.有一个刚结婚的太太,坐在椅子那边,看起来很懊恼,她先生回家看到她这个样子,就问:‘嗨,你怎么啦?为什么看起来这么懊恼呢?’太太说:‘很抱歉,你那件新做的西装裤被我烫坏了,烫成一个洞了。
幽默趣味英语故事带翻译笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。
下面店铺为大家带来幽默趣味英语故事带翻译,欢迎大家阅读!幽默趣味英语故事1:There was a banker who attended a dinner party, and a friend said to him, "Oh! I heard that your bank is looking for a cashier," and the banker said "Yes, yes, we are, we are." And then the friend said, "But I thought you just hired one a few weeks ago." So the banker replied, "Yes, yes, indeed, we did. That's the one we're looking for now." So the friend said, "Can you describe him? What does he look like?" And the banker replied, "Well, he is about five feet tall and (we're about) one hundred thousand dollars short."晚宴上,有位银行家坐在那儿,他的朋友问他:“我听说你们银行在找一位出纳,是吗?”银行家回答:“是的,我们是在找。
”朋友说:“不过你们几个礼拜以前不是已经请到一个人了吗?” 银行家说:“我们确实是雇用了一个人,而我们现在就是在找这个人。
” 那个友人说:“你说说看他长什么样子?”银行家回答:“他是五尺(无耻)之士,身长(藏)十万。
英语幽默小故事英语幽默小故事(Humorous English Stories)英语幽默小故事是指那些融入了幽默元素的,令人发笑的、趣味横生的故事。
这些故事往往可以轻松地让人们放松心情,以轻鬆愉快的方式学习英语,增强学习兴趣,提高英语水平。
以下是一些英语幽默小故事,欢迎各位读者阅读。
故事一:The Blind Man and the Fish一条盲鱼夹在一群鱼中间游,在它身旁的一位失明男子问:“鱼啊,你好吗?”“我很好,谢谢您,”鱼回答道:“你想知道其他鱼怎么样吗?”故事二:The Clever Chef旅馆的厨师在晚饭时,上了一盘煮熟的翅膀,但是所有的客人都觉得味道不对。
客人们投诉后,厨师想要一试,品尝后失声惊叫,原来厨师把旅馆老板的卡特车修理的机油加到翅膀里面煮,虽然味道奇特,但确实是高效率的“润滑油”。
故事三:The Secret to Happiness一个医生告诉一个病人,如果他想保持健康和幸福,就应该每天早晨起床时,抱住自己,唱一首赞美之歌,“我就是我,我很棒!”病人试着练习后,很快恢复了健康,找到了幸福。
故事四:The Wise Monkey一个猴子在树上看着一个两个人争吵,最终分不清谁对谁错。
于是这只猴子提议:“为什么不让我来当调解人呢?我将一半的苹果给你,另一半给你,以此来解决这个问题。
”一个人高兴地把自己那半苹果递给了猴子,而另一个人也高兴地接下了自己的那半苹果。
于是猴子便坐下来自己吃了整个苹果。
故事五:The Onions有个瞎眼老人走进了一家餐馆,要了一碗洋葱汤,一口一口地喝着,接下来餐馆里的每个人都一个一个传染性地开了哭泣。
老人停下来,问:“这是怎么回事?”餐馆老板笑着回答:“你切的洋葱让大家哭了出来。
”以上是一些英语幽默小故事,希望这些故事为大家带来欢乐和帮助。
通过这些小故事,人们可以轻松愉快地掌握和学习英语,从而更快地提高英语水平。
简单搞笑的英语小故事(经典版)编制人:__________________审核人:__________________审批人:__________________编制单位:__________________编制时间:____年____月____日序言下载提示:该文档是本店铺精心编制而成的,希望大家下载后,能够帮助大家解决实际问题。
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简单幽默英语小笑话(细选3篇)简单幽默英语小笑话1There once was a young couple who lived in a town filled with crime. After three neighbors' houses had been robbed, the couple decided to get a guard dog.So one day the wife went to the pet store and said, “I need a good guard dog.”And the clerk replied, “Sorry, we're all sold out. All we have left is this little Scottie dog. But he knows karate.”The wife didn't believe him so he said to the dog, "Karate that chair.”The dog went up to the chair and broke it into pieces, then he said to the dog, “Karate that table.” The dog went up to the table and broke it in half.So the wife bought the dog and took it home to her husband who was expecting a big guard dog. But then she told her husband that it knew karate, and he said “Karate my ass!”简单幽默英语小笑话2Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on stretchers next to each other, outside the operating room. The first kid leans over and asks, "What are you in here for?"The second kid says, "I'm in here to get my tonsils out and I'm a little nervous."The first kid says, "You've got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they give you lots of Jell-O and ice cream. It's a breeze!"The second kid then asks, "What are you here for?"The first kid says, "A circumcision."And the second kid says, "Whoa! I had that done when I was born. I couldn't walk for a year!"简单幽默英语小笑话3Bifocals Barbie. Comes with her own set of blended-lens fashion frames in six wild colors (half-frames too!), neck chain and large-print editions of Vogue and Martha Stewart Living.Hot Flash Barbie. Press Barbie's bellybutton and watch her face turn beet red while tiny drops of perspiration appear on her forehead. Comes with hand-held fan and tiny tissues.Facial Hair Barbie. As Barbie's hormone levels shift, see her whiskers grow. Available with teensy tweezers and magnifying mirror.Flabby Arms Barbie. Hide Barbie's droopy triceps with thesenew, roomier-sleeved gowns. Good news on the tummy front, too-muumuus with tummy-support panels are included.Bunion Barbie. Years of disco dancing in stiletto heels have definitely taken their toll on Barbie's dainty arched feet. Soothe her sores with the pumice stone and plasters, then slip on soft terry mules.No-More-Wrinkles Barbie. Erase those pesky crow's-feet and lip lines with a tube of Skin Sparkle-Spackle, from Barbie's own line of exclusive age-blasting cosmetics.Soccer Mom Barbie. All that experience as a cheer-leader is really paying off as Barbie dusts off her old high school megaphone to root for Babs and Ken, Jr. Comes with minivan in robin-egg blue or white, and cooler filled with doughnut holes and fruit punch.Mid-life Cr Barbie. It's time to ditch Ken. Barbie needs a change, and Alonzo (her personal trainer)is just what the doctor ordered, along with Prozac. They're hopping in her new red Miata and heading for the Napa Valley to open a B别睡在庙里,因为跑得了和尚跑不了庙!初恋防震最佳,因为爱情像雨像雾又像风。
英语幽默小故事10篇【引言】学习英语的过程中,阅读幽默小故事不仅能够提高我们的语言能力,还能让我们在轻松愉快的氛围中领略到英语文化的魅力。
下面,就让我们一起来欣赏10篇英语幽默小故事,并在快乐中学习吧!【故事1】Once upon a time, there was a man named Jack who had a peculiar habit of always forgetting his keys.One day, he locked himself out of his house again.Instead of calling a locksmith, he decided to break into his own house through the window.As he was climbing in, he suddenly realized that he had left his keys inside the house!幽默点:Jack忘记带钥匙的习惯以及他试图通过窗户进入自己家的荒谬行为让人捧腹大笑。
【故事2】Mike was a terrible cook.One day, he decided to make dinner for his girlfriend.He spent hours in the kitchen, and when he finally served the meal, it was completely inedible.His girlfriend asked him, "What did you make?" Mike replied, "Well, it"s not quite soup, and it"s not quite stew, but you can call it "soupstew"!"幽默点:Mike的创新菜名“soupstew”让人忍俊不禁,体现了他的幽默感。
3分钟幽默英语小故事
引导语:故事教学法是指在教学过程中,通过故事教学来完成教学和达到教学目标的一种教学方法,具有一定的现实性与可行性。
小编精心收集了3分钟幽默英语小故事,供大家欣赏学习!
3分钟幽默英语小故事篇1Golfing with cows
A man staggers into an emergency room with two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat.
一个男人摇摇晃晃地走进了急诊室,两个眼睛是青的,脖子上有明显的五指印。
Naturally the doctor asks him what happened. "Well, it was like this," said the man. "I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife when she sliced her ball into a pasture of cows.
医生问他发生了什么。
”额,是这样的,”这个人说。
“我和我老婆来了几局高尔夫,她把球打到一个牛群里。
”
"We went to look for it and while I was rooting around, I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end.
“我们去找这个球,我四下搜索,发现一头牛的屁股后面有个白色的东西。
”
"I walked over and lifted up the tail and sure enough, there was my wife's golf ball -- stuck right in the middle of the cow's butt. That's when I made my mistake."
“我走过去,举起了它的尾巴想看清楚,我老婆的球就卡在牛的屁股中间。
然后我犯了一个错误。
”
"What did you do?" asks the doctor.
“你干嘛了?”医生问。
"Well, I lifted the tail and yelled to my wife, 'Hey, this looks like yours!'"
“额,我举起了牛的尾巴,对我老婆喊道,'这个好像是你的!'”
3分钟幽默英语小故事篇2Hen House
The priest in a small Irish village was very fond of the chickens he kept in the hen house out the back of the parish rectory. He had a cock rooster and about ten hens.
在一个小小的爱尔兰村庄中,牧师非常地喜爱鸡舍中的小鸡。
鸡舍位于教区后面,里面有一只公鸡,十只母鸡。
One Saturday night the cock rooster was missing
and the priest suspected that it was because cock fights were being held in the village. So he decided to do something about it at church the next morning.
然而,公鸡在一个星期六的晚上不见了,牧师怀疑可能是因为村里举办了斗鸡比赛。
他谋划在第二天早晨去教堂做些事情。
At Mass, he asked the congregation, "Has anybody got a cock?" All the men stood up.
当着大家的面,他问道:“谁有一只公鸡吗?”所有的男人都站了起来。
"No, No," he said, "that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock?" All the women stood up.
“不是的,”他说,“我不是那个意思,有谁见到过一只公鸡吗?”所有的女人都站了起来。
"No, No," he said, "that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock that doesn't belong to them?" Half the women stood up.
“不是的!”他说,“我不是那个意思。
有谁见过一只不属于自己的公鸡吗?”半数的女人站了起来。
"No, No," he said, "that
wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen my cock?" All the altar boys stood up.
“不是的。
”他说,“我也不是那个意思。
有谁见过我的公鸡吗?”所有的侍者男孩都站了起来。
3分钟幽默英语小故事篇3Stolen Turkey
Ducking into confession with a turkey in his arms, Brian said, "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.
I stole this turkey to feed my family. Would you take it and settle my guilt?"
布莱恩抱着一只火鸡,非常苦恼,他说:“原谅我,神父,我有罪。
我偷来这只火鸡给我家人吃。
你能告慰我的罪吗”
"Certainly not," said the Priest. "As penance, you must return it to the one from whom you stole it."
“当然不行,”神父说。
“你必须把它还回去,这样才能赎罪。
”
"I tried," Brian sobbed, "but he refused. Oh, Father, what should I do?"
“我试过了。
”布莱恩抽泣着,“但是他拒绝了。
神父,我到底该怎么办呢?”
"If what you say is true, then it is all right for
you to keep it for your family."
“如果你说的是真的,那你就留着它吧。
”
Thanking the Priest, Brian hurried off.
谢过了神父,布莱恩跑开了。
When confession was over, the Priest returned to his residence. When he walked into the kitchen, he found that someone had stolen his turkey.
告诫会结束后,神父回到住处。
当他走到厨房的时候,他发现火鸡不见了。