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- Hey. - Hi. - 嘿... - 嘿!Phoebe, what's wrong? 菲比，出了什么事吗？I'm just so exhausted from dragging around this huge engagement ring.戴着这个超大订婚戒指快要把我累死了！- Oh, my God. - Congratulations. -噢！天啊！ -恭喜你啊！哇！So did he get on one knee? Did he have a speech prepared?他有没有跪下来？他有准备求婚词吗？Oh, did he cry? 噢！他有哭吗？Yeah, big surprise, I like proposals. 没错，我喜欢求婚，很奇怪吗？Well, it was really sweet, and, like, the most romantic thing ever.实在是很温馨，是我人生中最浪漫的一刻。
Here's to Phoebe, who's found the greatest guy in the world. 嘿，我们来敬菲比为了她找到世界上最好的男人干一杯。
To Phoebe and.. 敬菲比和...I want to say "Mike"? 应该是麦克吧？- To Phoebe and Mike. - Hey. -敬菲比和麦克！ -喔！Thank you. Oh, and I have something for you. 谢谢大家！噢，我有点东西要给你！It's my little black book. It's got the numbers of all the guys I've dated. 这是我的小记事本里面有我约会过的男生的电话Oh, Phoebe, that's nice, but you know what? I think I'm okay.噢，菲比。
Previously on The Big Bang Theory...Please stop crying. I'm begging you.I don't know what else to do.My boobs are empty.Do you want lasagna?It's okay, it's okay.What have we done?What have we done?What... what's all this?Well, it sounded like you were having a rough day,so I wanted you to come home to something nice.Oh, that is so thoughtful.Hey, do you remember when we went wine tasting in Santa Barbara and you said that was the best rose you'd ever had?Yeah, I remember us driving up there,going to the winery and...that's it.And this wine is why.Hey, what smells so good?I made your favorite: pizza bagels!Pink wine and pizza bagels?It's like eighth grade all over again.I am so lucky to have you.Well, now be careful, these are hot.I-I could explain the thermodynamicsof why the cheese seems hotter than the crust,but instead, I'm gonna keep it to myself.You always know what not to say.I just, I can't believe you did all this.Well, you know,it's easy to take each other for granted andI never want to do that to you, becauseyour love,it's like a river.It's peaceful and deep.Your soul is, it's like a secretthat I never could keep.You did not just quote an NSYNC song.I quoted your favorite NSYNC song.Damn. I burped so hard,I died in my game.Leonard, I've been meaning to ask you:what size shoe do you wear?Why?I'm trying to take more of an interest in other people's lives. That's nice. I wear a size eight and a half.That's small.So, tell me, do you have any plans for the weekend?Are you gonna laugh at the answer?Only if the answer is "Shopping for baby shoes."If you must know,Penny won a spa weekend from workand she's taking me.Oh, well you know, that is interesting.I wonder what kind of infection you'll come home with. My money's on fungal.They're still having girls' night across the hall.Oh, so, hang out with me and we'll have boys' night.At our age,why don't we call it man's night?Because we just spent our allowance on comic books. Penny, is it weird that we're having girls' night here,but you don't live here anymore,so it's basically my girls' night?I hadn't really thought about it.But now you're thinking about it and it bothers you?I get that.Things going well with you and Sheldon living together? Better than ever.He asks about my day, takes an interest in my life.He's like my boyfriend in college,except he's real, so people can see him.I've been seeing him for years,I'm still not convinced he's real.Hey, can I ask you a question?You've been married for a while.Is it normal for the husbandto kind of completely stop giving a crap?Uh-oh, what's going on?Well, Leonard used to do all these things,like bring me flowersand wear pants.It's okay, Howie never has on pants.The Domino's guy brings the pizza like this now.Well, Sheldon always has his pants on.I don't think I could pick his knees out of a lineup. Well, it's not just the pants.Just, it's like since we got married,he doesn't really try anymore.Uh, Penny?I don't know how to say this,but this is my first girls' nightand you're kind of bumming everybody out.All right, got Halley to sleep.Yeah, I heard you on the baby monitor.Didn't think you could turn the theme from Walking Dead into a lullaby.Yeah, got to get her hooked on TV,or someday, she'll want me to play outside.Boy, that floor is so squeaky.I'm surprised I didn't wake her up walking out of the room. Have you tried anything to fix it?Well, I put the rug down.It didn't help.I know. Blue shag. What were you thinking?Did try nailing a couple of the boards down.Did that do anything?Yeah, it left little holes in the floor,that's why I bought the rug.If you do that, I'll win in eight moves.I'll win in five moves.I'll win in one move.Oh, no. Good game.Oh, Penny, I'm tryingto take an interest in other people.Uh, how was your girls' night?Oh, it was fine.Did you have anything to eat?Uh, chips.Anything to drink?Some wine.Well, I'm just playing tennis against the drapes here. Just ignore him.At least he took an interest.What's that supposed to mean?Nothing.Hey, what's going on with you?I don't want to talk about it.Well, hey, come on, just tell me.Fine.Lately, I kind of feel likeyou've been taking me for granted.Wh-what? Where is this coming from?Leonard. She might be drunk.All she had was chips.It's just, since we got married you seem to thinkyou don't have to try anymore.That is ridiculous.This is exactly why I didn't want to talk about it. No, No, no, no. Let's talk about it.I'm the one who's made all the effortin this relationship since day one.Please tell me what more I could do.Okay. You know what? Maybe I'll take Amy with me to the spa this weekend instead.Fine, go ahead.Amy is free.She had a harp lesson on Saturday,but it got canceled...Boy, when you take an interest in people,you really uncork a geyser of nonsense.Okay. Thanks, Daddy.He said the only way to really fix an old floor like that is to tear it up and replace the whole thing.- That sounds expensive. - Hang on.No offense to her father,but he's not an MIT-trained engineer.Thinking and building is what you do.MIT's motto is "Mind and hand,"which just so happens was also my motto as a lonely teenager. Oh, come on. We just need to be more creative.What if you didn't step on the floor at all?Like, what if you...swung on a rope from the ceiling?No.Okay. Um...Okay. What if you rig up a pulley systemand move yourself across the room in a harness?No.I have one.What if you got a giant slingshotand flung yourself into the wall?- Is that supposed to be funny? - Hold on.Yeah, that's funny.All right, we're heading out.I'll call you when we get to the hotel.And if they have any of those tiny bottles of shampoo?I will bring them home so you can show mehow Godzilla takes a shower.- Have fun. - Thanks.Are you ready?Bye, Sheldon.You know what? I feel uncomfortableengaging in a public display of affectionwhile their relationship is strained.Go ahead, it's fine.- Bye. - Bye.- Okay! - Let's go!- Bye. - Bye.I'll miss you.Yeah, I'll miss you, too.I'll miss you more.Well, if X equals the amount that you'll miss me, then I'll miss you X plus one.If you miss me X plus one, I'll miss youopen paren X plus one, close paren to the second... Thank you.Here.You're sad, so I made you tea.Thanks.And it's just the way you like it.- Earl Grey? - Yes.- Honey? - Yes.- Unsweetened almond- - Good Lord!I made you tea. Just drink it!Sorry, thank you.Well, what can we do to cheer you up?I really don't know.You want to play Jenga?Or, uh, Ticket to Ride?Hearthstone?I-- what would you be the happiest losing at?I don't want to play a game, Sheldon.Wow, and I remember when you loved playing games with me. Maybe Penny isn't the only relationship you're phoning in.It's not that I'd stopped trying,it's just how relationships progress.They start with infatuation,but over time mellow into something more comfortable. Yeah, you're right.It's like when I first encountered the Pythagorean Theorem. You know, I was blown away that the square of the hypotenuse was the sum of the squares of the opposite sides.Yeah, but now I'm just like "Eh."Okay, this grid represents the room.All we need to do is plot out where each squeak isand we can find a quiet path to the crib.It looks like a map from Dungeons & Dragons.Except the creature in the crib is a level-nine poop monster. Okay, uh, you check for squeaks,and I will mark them down.Okay.Space A-3, here we go.It's squeaking. Mark it.It's nice to think that you grew up in this roomand now your daughter's going to as well.I hope she has the same amount of sex in it I did. None. Next square.Why do you bounce with your hands in the air like that? It's a tradition of my people.* If I were a rich man *"Material Girl" needs to be retired.That is your karaoke song.Would you like to play a driving game I invented?Is it about the failing state of my relationship with Penny? Never mind.You know, Penny went to this spa to be away from you. Are you sure you should be going there?I don't want to wait two days for us to work this out. Very well.You got married spur of the moment.I don't see why your divorce should be any different.I would pull this car over and kick you out,but... if Penny dumps me, you're all I got.When was the last time you got a massage?Sheldon walked on my back two weeks ago,but that was just 'cause there was a spider on his pillow and he was trying to get away.Leonard stood on me once, too,but he was just trying to see the Rose Parade.I don't know the protocol,are you gonna be naked for your massage? Well. Yeah.Then this is probably too many clothes.What are you doing here?I came here to apologize.Okay. Leonard, I really appreciate that,but I need a little time to myself.Okay. I don't get it.You said make an effort.Here I am, making an effort.Hello, Amy. It's nice to see you.Nice to see you, too.And that's how you make effort look effortless. All right. Can you please just goand we'll talk about this tomorrow?I don't understand what you want!I'm trying to figure it out!You know what? If you'd like,I could whip up a quick Relationship Agreement. Well, I'm at a spa,might as well do something relaxing. Sheldon, why don't we give them some privacy? Very well.Hey. Later, we'll check out the minibar?I'll show you how Godzilla gets drunk.So what we did was map out the entire room to identify every squeak.Watch. It's easy, once you get the hang of it. Step.Step.Hop onto ottoman.Don't do that in socks, I almost broke my neck. Then simply sit,spin, stand,stretch...Maybe unloosen your pants.And... step,grab, tiny pivot,pull, and you're there.Easy, peasy, mac and...You get the idea.You actually expect me to do thiswhile holding a baby in the dark?Hold on...I don't think she was impressed.Bigger problems.I felt something pop.There's a cucumber in my water.Do they know it's there?Um, sh-should I tell somebody?It's there on purpose.It's refreshing.Interesting.The world's most boring liquidand the world's most boring vegetable.But you put 'em together, and bleh.Oh! Good, you're here. Are you still fighting?If you get divorced, do I get two Christmases?We're not getting divorced.Listen, we realized, that, uh...we're facing some new challenges as a married couple. Yeah. And there are a few thingswe need to stay on top of.So we thought it would useful--and I can't believe I am about to say this--Would you please help us make a Relationship Agreement? But one that's tailored to us.Okay? We don't need a bathroom schedule.Although a rule about him texting me from in theremight help with the romance.What do you say?I get to write a contract?I say, let's get this party of the first part started!Do you really think that's funny?It's in our agreement. I have to laugh.If you find this draft acceptable,then I believe your new Relationship Agreementis ready to be signed.Article 8, subsection B:Leonard will restrict video-gaming in underpantsto hours Penny is not home.This includes boxers, briefs, thongs, G-stringsor anything else that calls attentionto his pasty little thighs.Does it really need to say that?I did this for free, let me get a little something. Article 10, subsection C:If questioned, Penny may not saythat everything is fine if it isn't.Other unacceptable responses include: "It's nothing," "Don't worry about it," And "I said it's nothing,don't worry about it."I think this all looks good.Me, too.Oh, well. Great, then. Here.You sign here, date here.And, Penny, if you could initial here to indicatethat you're accepting Leonard in "as is" condition.I remember signing our first Relationship Agreement. You seem to be forgetting the "No nostalgia" clause. Right, right. Got it.。
Hey, you guys. Hey, what are you doing?-Figuring out our wedding plans. -Funny. We were doing the same thing. It's really crazy. The hall, the dress, the food.-I had no idea how expensive this was. -Yeah, it is really pricey.-I freaked when I heard the numbers. -So, what did you two do about it?It was simple. I came up with some cost-cutting solutions..wrote out a list, and Monica told me to go to hell.There's no way around it. Just accept that this is gonna cost a lot of money.I heard that weddings are, like, a $40 billion-a-year industry.Yeah. And I'm responsible for just, like, half of that.I don't know. It's a lot of money to spend on one day.Hey, I've been married before, I don't need a big wedding.All I ask is that you don't do ecstasy and make out with my brother.But really, it does seem like this money could be put to better use.Hey, you could buy a ton of Amway products.-Or give it all to charity. -Oh, that's great.How am I gonna unload all those Amway products?Are you serious?Yeah. How would you feel if we gave all the wedding money to charity.. and we just got married at City Hall?I think it would make me wanna marry you even more.I gotta say, you guys, that's an incredible gesture.Maybe you do that next time you get married.No, no, no. The next time's gonna be Hawaii at sunset.But maybe the time after that.00:01:43,090 --> 00:01:44,020-Hey. What's going on? -Hey.Our adoption social worker is coming, so we're cleaning the apartment. "We"?You know you don't want me to help. You can't have it both ways.Is this the person who decides whether or not you get a baby?-She's coming to see where we live. -And it has to go perfectly.If she doesn't like us, she can keep us off every adoption list in the state. Hey, maybe I should stop by. She could be a soap opera fan.It's very impressive when the little people know a celebrity."Little people"?"Celebrity."So I think I'm just about done here.Unless you have any bad stuff hidden somewhere, like porn or cigarettes? What?-No. -Chandler.I don't, and I'm offended by the insinuation.So there's not a magazine under the couch..or cigarettes taped to the back of the toilet tank..or a filthy video in the VCR?I'll admit to the cigarettes and magazine. But that tape is not mine.-It isn't mine. -I guess we'll never know whose it is.May I help you?Yes. We're here to make a rather sizable donation to the children.Any contribution, large or small, is appreciated.I think you're gonna appreciate the crap out of this one.-Well, this is very generous. -And we don't want any recognition.This is completely anonymous.Completely anonymous. From two kind strangers.Mr. X and Phoebe Buffay.We can put your names in our newsletter.-Not necessary. -Buffay is spelled B-U-F-F-A-Y.And X is spelled "Mike Hannigan."Possible headline: Attractive Couple Makes World Better.Well, on behalf of the children, thank you both very much.-I'm glad we did this. It feels so good. -It does. It feels really good.Oh, look. And we get these free T-shirts.Actually, that's the shirt I wore to the gym.It's moist.-Hi. Emma will be up in a minute. -Oh, good.Hey, Ross, listen. I heard about you and Charlie. I'm really sorry.That's okay. I'm sure there are tons of other beautiful paleontologists out there. -Absolutely. -There was one. She's it.All the rest look like they should live under a bridge.So, what are you gonna do today?I was thinking of taking Emma to the playground.Oh, my God. What?Like I said, I was thinking of taking Emma to the Museum of Knives and Fire. Okay, look, Ross. I do not want Emma going to the playground. Because..?All right, if you must know, I had a traumatic..swing incident when I was little.-Seriously? -Yes. I was 4 years old.And I was on the swing..and then all of a sudden my hair got tangled in the chain.And to get me out, my mom had to cut a big chunk of my hair.And it was uneven for weeks.And you made it through that?I wonder who's gonna play you in the movie.Okay, fine, you can make fun of me. I do not want Emma going there. And I was thinking Claire Danes.Look, I'm sorry to hear about your tragedy.But the swings are perfectly safe. And besides, Emma loves them.-You should come, and you'll see. -Those things go, like,40 miles an hour. And there's that moment when you're at the top..when you just don't know if you're gonna return back to Earth.Space is filled with orbiting children.Look, please, just come on.When you see the look on Emma's face, I swear, you won't regret it.-All right. -Good.You don't wanna be a mom who passes her irrational fears to her children. "Irrational, " huh?I'll remember that next time you freak out about a spider in your apartment. That's the same. I'm sure there are 30 different species of poisonous swings. Oh, my God. The adoption lady is early.Okay. Okay. Here we go. Here we go.Stand up straight.Big smile.Hello. Is this the Creepy residence?We're waiting for the adoption lady. But I'm glad you're here.I was cleaning this morning and I found this.I don't know if you wanna use it, but..Oh, this is so sweet of you.But I won't be needing a veil. I actually won't be wearing a dress at all.I told you, I am not coming to a naked wedding!No. We're not having a big reception.We took the wedding money and donated it to a children's charity.That's crazy!-Generous. -Crazy generous.I'm sorry. I can't imagine giving up my one wedding day like that.Well, we're different. I don't care about having a huge party.This is really nice for you, but..Oh, please. I put this on and I just look like..Well, radiant.All right, but who cares? I don't need a pretty veil and a fancy dress.That's right. You're making a commitment.You know, that's the same whether you do it at the Plaza or..-Where you gonna do it? -City Hall.Oh, that sounds nice.I was just there for jury duty. They've really spruced that place up. Okay. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. I've made my decision.What I really want is a great big wedding.-But you gave all the money to charity. -Well, I'll just ask for it back.-I don't think you can do that. -Why not?This is her wedding day. That's way more important than some stupid kids.That's sweet, honey, but save something for the adoption lady.-All right, okay. Be careful. -Okay.Careful. Watch her hair. Watch her hair!-Rach, she's got, like, three hairs. -I know. I know.But they're just so beautiful. Oh, my God, I just pulled one out.I promise you she's safe. Watch how much she loves this.-Okay. Okay. -Are you ready, sweetie? Here we go.Okay, careful. Okay.She's smiling.Look at that, she does like it.See, I told you.Oh, my God. Look at her, she's a little daredevil.-Oh, God. Let me push. Can I push? -Oh, absolutely.Oh, God. Okay, get the camera. It's in the diaper bag.Okay.See? Scared of the swings. I bet you feel pretty silly.-We're asking for the money back? -It's for our wedding day.Now, is this guy gay or straight? Because one of us has to start flirting. You here to make another donation the same day?I don't think that's ever happened before.Gay. Go.Oh, my God, I love your shirt.The donation we made earlier? Well, we want it back.Excuse me?Okay, that money was for a big wedding we thought we didn't want. But it turns out we do.So you're asking us to refund your donation to the children?Yeah.This feels really good.I'm sorry. I am. But this wedding's just really important to me.Hey, it's none of my business. Besides, this is probably a good thing.We've really been spoiling the children, what with all the food and warm clothing. That's not fair. A person's wedding is important.And especially to me.I didn't have a graduation party. And I didn't go to prom.And I spent my sweet 16 being chased around a tire yard..by an escaped mental patient who, in his own words, wanted to:"Kill me, or whatever."So I deserve a real celebration.And I'm not gonna let some sweaty little man make me feel badly about it.She could've been talking about either one of us.Okay. Here we go.Good luck.Tongue, really?Hi, I'm Laura. I'm here for your adoption interview.Hi, I'm Monica. And this is Chandler.-Please come in. -Thank you.-Would you like something to drink? -Water would be fine.We're so glad that you're here.We're excited about getting this process started.Because we love kids. Love them to death.Well, not actually to death. That's just a figure of speech.We love kids the appropriate amount..as allowed by law.-Your place is just lovely. -Thank you.Yes, this building does have a wholesome, family feel to it.I feel like I've been here before. Any other couples in the building adopting? Is that that couple on the first floor? We should get a baby before them. That guy tried to sell me drugs.But other than that, wholesome, wholesome building.-What? -I realized why I remember this place.-Really? What is it? -Oh, it's nothing.I went on a date with a guy who lived in this building. It didn't end very well. That wouldn't, by any chance, be Joey Tribbiani?-Yes! -Of course it was.We had a great night. In the morning, he promised he'd call and he didn't. Rat bastard!-So you're not friends with him? -Oh, God, no.-No, no, no. -No. Nope.Well, I'm sorry I brought it up.So are either one of you planning on staying at home?Hello? Anybody in there order a celebrity?What was that?That's just some crazy guy who roams the halls here.He's great with kids, though.-Ross. Oh, my God, are you okay? -Son of a bitch!Oh, relax. I didn't say the F-word.Ross, see, I told you! Those swings are evil!That's the last time Emma is getting on one of those things for her entire life. No, no, no. Okay, it wasn't the swing's fault. It was my fault.And kind of that kid's fault.Who is still laughing. Nice.Come on. Can we just get out of here before somebody else gets hurt? No. Wait. I have an idea. I want you to get on the swing..and you'll see that there's nothing to be afraid of.I know what this is all about.You've always been jealous of my hair.I just think you're an adult, okay? And you should get over your silly fears. -All right, fine. I'll do it. -Good.-If you hold a spider. -Where?! Where?!If you hold a spider.I know.Guys, is everything okay? It's me, Joey.Adoption!What's going on?Oh, it's just like I said, that crazy..Bert, roaming the halls.-Guys? -Keep on roaming, Bert!We don't want any crazy today!Is he all right out there by himself?Oh, yeah. He has a caretaker. His older brother..Ernie.-Bert and Ernie? -You can't make this stuff up.-What's going on? -We'll talk later! Everything's fine!Everything doesn't sound fine.Bert and Ernie have a big yellow bird.You never told me about that guy and your sweet 16.-I'm sorry about that. -Oh, it ended okay.One of my friends shot him.At least you'll get a proper wedding. You really deserve that.Yeah, I really do. You know, I had nothing growing up.Just like the kids I took the money from.No. No, no. I see where this is going. Don't make me go back there.I'm sorry, but I want to regive the money to the children.But we can't. I mean, you called that guy a sweaty little man.Unless you were talking about me. We never really cleared that up.Look, I can't have a wedding with this money now. It's tainted.Fine, we'll give the money back.If that guy at the charity gives us a hard time..my friend hasn't shot anyone in a really long time.I must say this seems like a lovely environment to raise a child in.You are welcome to look under any of the furniture..because, believe me, you won't find any porn or cigarettes under there. Before we look around, let me make sure I have everything I need up to here. Why don't I show you the baby's room.-What are you doing? -You wouldn't let me in.-I thought you were in trouble. -Well, we're not.But you called me "Bert."That's our code word for danger.-We don't have a code word. -We don't?We really should.From now on, "Bert" will be our code word for danger.So that was the baby's room.-What room should we see next? -Any room that isn't behind this couch. Some people don't get him, but I think he's really funny.I did not care for that.You have to leave.You slept with our social worker and never called her back.She is still pissed, so she can't see you.Okay, okay.-What? -I forgot my bat.Oh, my God.And for the last time, we do not want to be friends with you!And we don't wanna buy your bat!What are you doing here?Bert. Bert. Bert. Bert.-Are you friends with him? -I can explain.Joey?All right. Okay.You have got some nerve coming back here.-I can't believe you never called me. -Excuse me?You probably don't even remember my name. It's Joey, by the way. And don't bother telling me yours, because I totally remember it, lady.I waited weeks for you to call me.I gave you my number. You never called me.Don't try to turn this around on me.I am not some kind of social work..that you can just..do.-I'm pretty sure I gave you my number. -Really? Think about it. Come on. You're a beautiful woman. Smart, funny.We had a really good time.If I had your number, why wouldn't I call you?I don't know.Well, maybe I'm wrong. I'm sorry.Hey, too late for apologies. Okay? You broke my heart.You know how many women I had to sleep with to get over you?-Joey, wait.. -No!I waited a long time! I can't wait anymore.I'm sorry that you had to see that. I'm so embarrassed.-Oh, that's really okay. -Yeah. We totally understand.-Dating is hard. -Boy, you people are nice.And I've got to say..I think you're going to make excellent parents.Laura!We're back.Are you here to take more money?Because I think what you're looking for is an ATM.No, no, we're here to give the money back.Yeah. Because you know what? It's all about the children.Although it's also about the wedding.All right, here. No. Oh, God.If I haven't said so already, sir, congratulations.Oh, wait. Wait.What if we give half to the charity and we keep half?Or, no, like,75 percent for us and 25 percent for.. Or, no, like,90-10. Okay, you know what? Enough, all right?I'm stepping in and putting my foot down.As your future husband, I'm gonna make this decision for us.What do you think we should do?-It's not your decision anymore. -What?On behalf of the children of New York, I reject your money.-But we're giving you this. -And I'm giving it back to you.Come on. Consider it a contribution.Well, this is very generous.Take the check. Have a great wedding and a wonderful life together. Sounds good to me. We can save up, come back in a few years.. and make an even bigger donation.And when you do, ask for Brian.-Oh, is that you? -No.Hello?Oh, hi.Oh, my God, really? I can't wait to tell Chandler.Okay. Goodbye.-Wrong number? -That was Laura.She gave us a great report and we're officially on the waiting list.-That's great. -Now we just wait for a call..and someone tells us there's a baby waiting for us.Hello?Have you seen Joey's bat?Okay. I got a spider.There were two, I picked the bigger one.-Okay. -Okay.This feels perfectly normal.Okay, get on the swing.Okay.Okay.Okay.-See? -All right. I can do this.There you go. Good for you.You know what? I'm getting used to this little guy.-I don't even feel him in here anymore. -That's because he's on your neck. 353。
1005 The One Where Rachel's Other Sister BabysitsScene: Central Perk]Rachel: You know, I'm thinking about letting Emma have her first cookie.Joey: Her first cookie? She has cookies all the time!Rachel: I've never given her a cookie. Have you?Joey: No! No... and, for the record, I've also never given her a frosting from a can!Monica:Hey Rach, the adoption agency needs letters of recommendation and we were wondering if you would write one for us.Rachel: Of course, I'd be honored!Chandler: Thanks!Monica: Thank you!(Joey looks at them, disappointed about their decision)Joey: U-U-Um, I think there's been an oversight.Chandler: Joey, we would've asked you, we just thought you wouldn't be interested.Monica:Yeah, it's just we don't think of you as really being so much "with the words".Joey: Whoo-weh hey weh-hey whoo hey!!Monica: Clearly we were wrong.Joey: I gotta a lot of nice stuff to say about you guys, ok? And I know how much you wanna have a baby, you know, and I would love to help you get one.Monica: You know what? Then, Joey, we want you to do it.Joey:Thank you! Alright, let me see how I'm gonna start... "Dear baby adoption decider people..."Chandler: So excited about your letter!(Phoebe enters)Phoebe: Hey!All: Hey Phoebe!Joey: Hey!Monica: Wow! Don't you look nice?!Phoebe: Yes, I do! Today is Mike and my one-year anniversary. Rachel:OH! What's it the anniversary of? Your first date, your first kiss, first time you had sex...Phoebe: YEAH!Chandler: So you must be going to somewhere fancy to celebrate? Phoebe: Uh-uh. Ehm, a Knicks game.Joey: Uhm... Aren't you a little overdressed?Phoebe: Hey, you know what, I've never had a one-year anniversary before, so no matter where we go, I'm wearing something fancy pants, and... I'm gonna put on my finest jewelry and we're gonna have sex in a public rest room.Monica:You guys do that? Chandler won't even have sex in our bathroom! Chandler: That's where people make number two!! 1005 瑞秋的妹妹带孩子我琢磨着该给爱码吃第一块饼干了第一块？她常吃饼干我没喂过她饼干你给她了？没有！另外，我也没从罐子里拿糖给她。
52en.me提醒：版权归原字幕组所有，仅供学习交流使用，严禁用于商业用途1>Bye-bye.2>I just got reservations at Michelle's...3>and tickets to The Music Man to celebrate...4>our first holiday as a betrothed couple.5>-"Betrothed." -Betrothed couple.6>-Hi. -Hi.7>Phoebe?8>Skull?9>Yeah, it's my mom's.10>Oh, my God!11>No, no, no. It's not my mom.12>It belonged to my mom.13>She used to put it out every Christmas...14>to remind us that even though it's Christmas, people still die.15>And you can put candy in it.16>Licorice?17>Sure.18>-I get Ben for the holidays this year. -That's great!19>-Are you gonna dress up as Santa? -Nope.20>I know Susan does every year.21>I want to take this year to teach him about Hanukkah.22>And maybe I could teach Ben...23>about the Christmas skull and how people die.24>You may need to use this year to teach Ben about Phoebe.25>.26>-Did you know he was in there? -No.27>-How long have we been home? -About half an hour.28>Lovely.29>The One With The Holiday Armadillo30>You know what I was thinking? When we get married, will you...31>change your name to "Bing"?32>No.33>Why not?34>Bing's weird.35>Oh, hey, you guys.36>My landlord just called. My apartment's gonna be ready soon.37>I guess I'll be moving out.38>Phoebe, I'm gonna miss you.39>Yes, you will be very sad.40>-I gotta go tell Rachel the good news. -You'll be living together again?41>-Why not? -She's having so much fun with Joey... 52en.me提醒：版权归原字幕组所有，仅供学习交流使用，严禁用于商业用途1>再见2>我在米雪餐厅订好位子了…3>还有《音乐人》的票来庆祝…4>我们成为订婚夫妻后第一个正式的节日5>-“订婚” -订婚夫妻6>-嘿！ -嗨！7>菲比？8>骷髅头？9>是啊，是我妈的10>我的天！11>不，不，不，不是我妈12>是属于我妈的13>她以前每次耶诞节都会拿出来…14>要我们记得即使是耶诞节人还是会死的15>可以放糖果在里面16>吃糖？17>好啊18>-今年班和我一起过节 -太好了！19>-你要扮成耶诞老公公吗？ -不20>我知道苏珊每年都这么做…21>可是今年我想教他了解光明节22>也许我能教班…23>有关耶诞骷髅头和人怎么死亡24>你可以在今年教班认识菲比25>嘿26>-你知道他在里面吗？ -不知道27>-我们回来多久了？ -大概半小时28>好极了29>本集播出：佳节犰狳30>你知道我在想什么？我们结婚后，你要不要…31>改挂夫姓“宾”？32>不要33>为什么不？34>“宾”很奇怪35>你们好36>猜猜怎么着，我房东刚通知我我的房子快好了37>我很快就会搬出去了38>菲比，我会想念你的39>是啊，你会很伤心40>-我要告诉瑞秋这个好消息 -你们要再一起住？41>-是啊，为什么不？ -她和乔伊住得很开心…42>I assumed she'd still be living with him.43>Why do you think she's having so much fun?44>No reason, except she...45>told me.46>She said she didn't want to live with me?47>No. No, she didn't say that.48>I think you should talk to Monica now.49>Phoebe, I'm sure she wants to live with you.50>You're absolutely sure?51>No, but I'll bet she probably does.52>Oh, probably?53>I don't like that word.54>I know what "probably" really means. Yeah, yeah.55>"Oh, your mom probably won't kill herself."56>I'm sorry, but I'm not hanging my hopes...57>of Rachel and I living together on "probably."58>You gotta take care of yourself in this world.59>History teaches us nothing.60>Bing doesn't seem so weird now, does it?61>You're home.62>Guess what Phoebe got me for Christmas?63>-Drums? -No, drums!64>Could we get two burritos to go, please?65>I'm sorry. But not that sorry, you don't have to live with it.66>We have a reservation under Bing.67>Okay, we'll have a table for you in about 45 minutes.68>45 minutes? We have tickets to The Music Man at 8.69>I'm sorry. Christmas is a very busy time, sir.70>Is this because of the burrito thing?71>-You need to give him money. -Give him money? It was a joke!72>To get a table. Places like this are always shaking you down.73>-Everybody wants a payoff. -All right, calm down, O'Malley.74>-I'll slip him some money. -But you've got to be smooth.75>Hey, I can be smooth.76>We're in a hurry. If you could get us a table...77>a bit quicker, I'd appreciate it.78>-Of course, sir. -Okay.79>-How'd it go? -Had the money in the wrong hand.80>You don't feel...81>-Like you're gonna throw up? -No.82>Well, I do. So let's...83>So, Ben, you...84>You know what holiday is coming up?85>Christmas. 42>我以为她还会继续和他住在一起43>为什么你认为她和乔伊住得很开心？44>没为什么，只是...45>她这么说46>真的？她说她不要和我住？47>没有，她没这么说48>我想你该和摩妮卡说话了49>菲比，别担心我确定她想和你住的50>你确定？你很肯定？51>不，我打赌她大概会52>大概？53>我不喜欢这个字54>我知道“大概”真正的意思是啊，是啊55>“你妈大概不会自杀”56>对不起，我不要把我和瑞秋…57>住在一起的希望寄托在“大概”上面58>人在这世上要自己照顾自己59>历史教训完全没用60>“宾”现在不是那么奇怪了吧？61>太好了，你在家62>猜猜菲比送我什么耶诞礼物63>-鼓？ -不，鼓！64>请给我们两个墨西哥卷外带65>抱歉，不过没那么抱歉因为你不用和他在一起生活66>我们用钱德宾的名字订了位子67>好的，大约再45分钟68>45分钟？《音乐人》的票是8点的69>抱歉，耶诞节是最忙的时候70>这是因为墨西哥卷的玩笑吗？71>-要给他钱 -给他钱？那只是个玩笑！72>不，为了我们的位子这种地方都是死要钱的73>-每个人都要小费 -好，镇静下来74>-我会塞钱给他 -可是要不着痕迹75>嘿，我可以不着痕迹76>我们有点赶时间如果可以让我们早一点…77>排到位子，我会很感激78>-当然，先生 -好79>-怎么样？ -钱在另一只手里80>你会不会…81>-想吐？ -不会82>我会，我们…83>班，你…84>你知道快过节了，对不对？86>Yeah, and you know what other holiday is coming up?87>Christmas Eve.88>Yes, but also...89>Hanukkah!90>See, you're part Jewish and Hanukkah is a Jewish holiday.91>Santa has reindeers that can fly.92>Right, but on Hanukkah..93>Hanukkah is a celebration of a miracle.94>Years and years ago there were these people called the Maccabees.95>Okay, that's right. Yes...96>but on Hanukkah, we sing:97>Okay, it's not a contest.98>When is Santa coming?99>How about this year, instead of Santa...100>we have fun celebrating Hanukkah?101>No Santa?102>Was I bad?103>No, no, no, you weren't bad. You've been very good, Ben. 104>-Santa's mad at me. -No, hey, hey, come on.105>Ben, Santa is not mad at you, okay?106>You're his favorite little guy.107>So Santa's coming?108>Yes!109>Santa's coming.110>It's easy. Just keep it casual.111>Shake his hand and give him the money.112>-How do you know so much about this? -I don't know.113>Richard used to do it, didn't he?114>We'd be eating our soup right now.115>Mustached bastard.116>Those people just left. Come on. Quick, give him the money. 117>Excuse me.118>.119>So you like the drums.120>That's great.121>I was worried that they would create maybe...122>an unbearable living situation.123>But, okay, well, apparently not. So, yay!124>Hey, we already learned a song.125>Ready? One, two, three, four.126>Tequila!更多字幕www.52en.me qq3550672899127>That's fun.128>Here you go. 85>耶诞节86>对，你知道另一个节日也要到了？87>耶诞夜88>对，但…89>光明节也是！90>你是一半犹太人光明节是犹太人的节日91>耶诞老公公有会飞的縻鹿92>对，但在光明节…93>光明节是庆祝一个奇迹94>很多年前，有一群人叫做犸加伯人95>好，对，是的…96>但在光明节，我们唱的是：97>好，这不是比赛98>耶诞老公公什么时候来？99>这样好不好，今年我们不要耶诞老公公…100>我们来庆祝光明节？101>没有耶诞老公公？102>我不乖吗？103>不，不，你没有不乖你今年很乖，班104>-耶诞老公公生我的气 -不是，嘿，嘿105>班，耶诞老公公没有生你的气，好吗？106>你是他最喜欢的小孩107>耶诞老公公会来啰？108>对！109>耶诞老公公会来110>很简单，保持轻松111>说句好话，和他握手，塞钱给他112>-你怎么这么了解？ -我不知道113>理查以前常这么做，是不是？114>我们现在可能已经在喝汤了115>可恶的小胡子116>这些人刚走，快，给他钱117>对不起118>我们赶时间，可不可以…？119>你喜欢鼓120>真好121>我本来还担心它们会造成…122>无法忍耐的居住状况123>好吧，看来没有，好！124>菲比，我们学会了一首歌125>准备好了？1，2，3，4更多字幕www.52en.me qq3550672899126>塔奇拉！127>真好玩129>Thank you, Gunther. Put her there.130>Definitely not easier with coins.131>-Thank you. -Thank you.132>Hey, Phoebe.133>Here. Now I only owe you $49.50.134>Hey, Phoebe...135>if you want to get Joey a gift that disrupts the entire building... 136>why not something more subtle...137>Like a wrecking ball...138>or a vial of small pox to release in the hallway?139>It's not just the drum noise. Every five minutes...140>Joey throws his sticks in the air...141>and I have to hear: "Oh, my eye! Oh, God, my eye!"142>-I mean, it's so annoying. -Yes, thank you.143>You see, this is how normal people are supposed to react to drums.144>You got Joey drums to annoy Rachel...145>so she wouldn't want to live there anymore?146>Maybe on some level.147>You could just not throw the sticks up in the air.148>What is rock 'n' roll about that?149>Hey, Joey, I got you another present.150>Hold it! Before you tell me what it is...151>Okay, what is it?152>It's a...153>tarantula!154>God, Rachel, I'm sorry. What was I thinking...155>giving Joey this big, gross, scary spider...156>in such a poorly constructed cage?157>What are you talking about? I love them.158>I had a tarantula when I was a kid. But it died because my cat ate it.159>And then my cat died.160>But, Joey, isn't this cool?161>Is it on me? I feel like it's on me. I got..162>Oh, isn't that adorable?163>Joey is afraid of the tarantula.164>He's so adorable.165>He's so much fun.166>I'm glad you're having so much fun here.167>Wait a minute.168>What's the matter?169>Our apartment is ready.170>And that makes you angry because...? 128>来了129>谢谢，阿甘，放在这里130>用铜板没有更容易些131>-谢谢 -谢谢132>-菲比 -嘿133>给你，现在我欠你49块半134>菲比…135>如果你要送乔伊毁掉整栋楼的耶诞礼物…136>何不送更微妙一点的…137>像是铁锤…138>或是天花病毒散播在走廊上？139>不只是鼓的声音，每5分钟…140>乔伊把鼓棒丢到空中…141>然后我就会听到：“我的眼睛！我的眼睛！”142>-烦死人了 -谢谢你143>你看，这是正常人对鼓的反应144>菲比，你送乔伊鼓是为了烦瑞秋…145>让她不想继续住在那里？146>可能有一点147>乔伊，你知道你不用丢鼓棒的148>那怎么能算是摇滚乐呢？149>乔伊，送你另一个礼物150>等一下！先不要告诉我是什么…151>是什么？152>是一只…153>毒蜘蛛！154>瑞秋，抱歉，我在想什么…155>送乔伊这么一个恶心的，可怕的蜘蛛…156>还用这么一个松散的笼子？157>你在说什么？我喜欢它158>我小时候就有一只后来我的猫咪吃掉了它159>然后猫咪死了160>乔伊，这不是很酷吗？161>在我身上吗？我觉得它在我身上，我…162>不是很可爱吗？163>乔伊怕蜘蛛164>他好可爱呦165>老天，他很好玩166>乔伊是最棒的很高兴你在这里住得很开心167>等一下168>怎么回事？169>我们的房子好了170>你不高兴因为…？171>因为你比较想和乔伊住在这里171>Because you'd rather live here with Joey.172>-Where did you get that? -Monica and Chandler...173>said you were having so much fun here...174>and apparently no amount of drums or tarantula is gonna change that.175>Did you get all this stuff for Joey...176>to try to drive me out of the apartment?177>You might as well have gotten him a fish.178>You know how fish freak me out.179>Fish.180>But it wouldn't have mattered. We're gonna live together. 181>We're roommates. That's the deal.182>Yes, but I wanted you to want to live with me.183>But if you're having so much fun over here..184>It's so much more fun with you.185>-We did have fun, didn't we? -We did.186>They say, if we want, we could see it tonight.187>-I would love to. -Yay, okay!188>-Good, good, good. -Great. All right. Good.189>And Monica asked me to make the drumming stop.190>Done.191>.192>Hello, sir. You here to return those pants?193>No, these are my pants.194>Okay.195>-How can I help you? -Do you have a Santa outfit left?196>Two days before Christmas? Sorry, man.197>Okay, look. Do you have anything Christmas-y?198>I promised my son, and I really don't want to disappoint him. 199>Come on, you gotta have something.200>I'm the Holiday Armadillo!201>I'm a friend of Santa's...202>and he sent me here to wish you...203>a merry Christmas!204>What happened to Santa, Holiday Armadillo?205>Santa was unavailable...206>so close to Christmas.207>Come in, have a seat.208>You must be exhausted, coming all the way from Texas. 209>-Texas? -That's right, Ben.210>I'm Santa's representative...211>for all the Southern states.212>And Mexico!213>But Santa sent me here... 172>-你为什么这么想？ -摩妮卡和钱德…173>说你和乔伊住得很开心…174>而且不管是鼓还是毒蜘蛛都不会改变这点175>菲比，你送乔伊这些东西…176>是要让我不想住在这里？177>你还不如送他一条鱼178>你知道我有多怕鱼179>鱼180>这些都不重要，我们会一起住的181>我们是室友，讲好的182>对，可是我希望你想和我一起住183>可是如果你在这里住得这么开心…184>和你在一起更开心185>-我们住一起时很开心，是不？ -对啊，好玩得不得了186>他们说如果要的话，今晚可以去看187>-好啊 -好，好！188>-好，好 -好189>摩妮卡要我停止鼓声190>好了191>（万圣节探险，面具大师）192>你好，要退还那件裤子吗？193>不，这是我的裤子194>是195>-需要什么？ -还有没有耶诞老公公衣服？196>耶诞节前两天？抱歉197>好吧，有没有什么比较算是耶诞节的？198>我答应了我儿子，不想让他失望199>你们一定有的200>我是佳节犰狳！201>我是耶诞老公公的朋友…202>他要我来祝你…203>耶诞快乐！204>耶诞老公公怎么了，佳节犰狳？205>耶诞老公公没有空…206>在这么接近耶诞节的时候207>请进，请坐208>你一定累坏了，大老远从德州跑来209>-德州？ -对，班210>我是耶诞老公公的…211>西南州代表212>还有墨西哥！213>耶诞老公公要我来这里…214>送礼物给你214>to give you these presents, Ben.215>Maybe the lady will help me with these presents.216>Wow, thanks!217>You're welcome, Ben.218>Merry Christmas.219>And happy Hanukkah!220>Are you for Hanukkah too? Because I'm part Jewish.221>You are? Me too.222>Because armadillos also wandered in the desert?223>You want to wander in the hall?224>Hey, Ben!225>What if the Holiday Armadillo...226>told you all about the Festival of Lights?227>Cool!228>Come on, Ben.229>Years and years ago...230>there were these people called...231>-the Maccabees! -Ho, ho, ho!232>Merry Christmas!233>Santa!234>What are you doing here, Santa?235>Well, I'm here to see my old buddy, Ben.236>What are you doing here...237>Weird Turtle Man?238>I'm the Holiday Armadillo...239>your part-Jewish friend.240>You sent me here to give Ben some presents.241>Remember?242>What?243>Did you bring me any presents, Santa?244>You bet I did, Ben.245>Put her there.246>Well, it would have worked this time if his hands weren't so damn small.247>Ho, ho, ho!248>Ben, come open more gifts.249>The armadillo and I will have a talk in the kitchen.250>There's a sentence I never thought I'd say.251>What are you doing?252>You said you were having trouble finding a Santa costume...更多字幕www.52en.me qq3550672899253>so I borrowed one from a guy at work.254>Thank you, but you gotta leave.255>-Why? -Because... 215>这位小姐可以帮我拿礼物216>谢谢！217>不客气，班218>耶诞快乐219>光明节快乐！220>你也为光明节而来吗？因为我是一半犹太人221>你是？我也是222>因为犰狳也在沙漠里晃荡？223>你想在走廊晃荡吗？224>班！225>佳节犰狳…226>跟你说光之节的故事好吗？227>酷！228>来，班229>很多年以前…230>有一群人，叫做…231>-犸加伯人！ -呵！呵！呵！232>耶诞快乐！233>-耶诞老公公！ -嘿！234>你来干什么，耶诞老公公？235>我来看我的老朋友班236>你在这儿干什么…237>怪乌龟人？238>我是佳节犰狳…239>你的半犹太人朋友240>你要我来送礼物给班241>记得吗？242>什么？243>耶诞老公公，你有带礼物给我吗？244>当然有，班245>放在这里246>如果不是他的手太小，会成功的247>呵！呵！呵！248>班，来开礼物249>耶诞老公公，佳节犰狳和我要在厨房谈一谈250>我绝对想不到会说出这句话251>你在干什么？更多字幕www.52en.me qq3550672899252>你告诉每个人说你找不到耶诞老公公衣服…253>所以我向同事借了一件254>谢谢，你必须离开255>-为什么？ -因为…256>我终于让他对光明节有兴趣…257>而你正在破坏256>I'm finally getting him excited about Hanukkah...257>and you're wrecking it.258>But I didn't get to shake my belly like a bowlful of jelly.259>I'm sorry, Chandler, but this is really important to me.260>Fine, I'll give the suit back.261>Hey, you think you can keep it another night?262>Santa, really?263>Yeah, is that okay?264>Did your dad ever dress up like Santa?265>-No. -Then it's okay!266>Okay, Ben. Santa has to go.267>Say goodbye.268>No, why does he have to go?269>Because if Santa and the Holiday...270>Armadillo...271>are ever in the same room for too long...272>the universe will implode!273>Merry Christmas!274>No, why can't the armadillo leave? I want Santa.275>Fine, I give up. Santa..276>Santa can stay!277>Well, I'll stay...278>but only because I want to hear about Hanukkah.279>Ben, will you sit here with Santa...280>and learn about Hanukkah?281>Okay, Santa.282>-Thank you. -You're welcome.283>All right, it's time...284>for the story of Hanukkah.285>Years and years ago...286>there were these people called the Maccabees!287>Merry Christmas!288>Oh, wow, look at this place!289>Oh, this is terrible.290>They've made so many changes...291>I can't even feel my grandmother's presence anymore.292>Oh, new sconces!293>-Oh, my God! -What?294>Remember how you told me your grandmother put up that wall... 295>-to make that into two bedrooms? -Yeah.296>And that the landlord might find out...297>-and then tear it down? -Yeah?298>Do you really not know where I'm going?299>It left. It's one huge room. 258>可是我还没摇我的胜子呢259>抱歉，钱德，这对我很重要260>好，我去还这件衣服261>你可以再多借一晚吗？262>耶诞老公公？真的？263>是啊，可以吗？264>你爸有扮过耶诞老公公吗？265>-没有 -那就可以！266>班，耶诞老公公要走了267>说再见268>不要，他为什么要走？269>因为耶诞老公公和佳节…270>犰狳…271>如果在同一个房子里太久…272>宇宙会爆炸！273>耶诞快乐！274>不要，为什么不是犰狳走呢？我要耶诞老公公275>好，我放弃，耶诞老公公…276>耶诞老公公可以留下来！277>我留下来…278>因为我想听光明节的故事279>班，你要不要和耶诞老公公…280>一起坐下来听光明节的故事？281>好的282>-谢谢 -不客气283>好，来听…284>光明节的故事285>很多年以前…286>有一群人叫犸加伯人！287>耶诞快乐！288>看看这地方！289>真糟糕290>他们改了很多…291>我感受不到我祖母的存在292>新的烛台！293>-我的天！ -怎么？294>记得你告诉我你祖母要做一道墙…295>-来隔成两间房？ -对296>房东可能会发现…297>-把它拆了？ -对？298>你真的不知道我说这些的原因？299>墙没有了，是一间大房间300>哦，不！300>Oh, no!301>Wow!302>See?303>I guess we'll have to put the wall back up.304>-You can't, with the new skylight. -There's a skylight? 305>Wow!306>So should we start looking for a new place?307>You know, I'm sensing...308>that my grandmother would not be comfortable with that. 309>Oh, yeah?310>Starting to feel her again there, are we?311>-A little bit. Yeah. -Yeah.312>Is your grandmother maybe saying that you should live here alone?313>You heard it too? You have the gift.314>Phoebe, it's okay.315>I like living with Joey.316>-Are you sure? -Please. I hate packing...317>it's closer to work.318>And we do have fun.319>Although, I'm really gonna miss living with you.320>-Oh, me too. -I know.321>Did you hear that?322>I'm getting something from your grandmother.323>She said since you get to keep the one-bedroom apartment... 324>you should give Rachel the purple chair.325>No, I do not hear that.326>And the miracle was that that little bit of oil...327>that should have lasted just one day, burned for....328>-Eight whole days. -That's right.329>And that's why we celebrate Hanukkah today. The end. 330>-Awesome. -Yeah.331>My favorite part...332>was when Superman flew all the Jews out of Egypt.333>The armadillo was actually not so thrilled about that part. 334>Okay, Ben, it's time to light...335>the Hanukkah candles!336>.337>Wow! Looks like the Easter Bunny's funeral in here. 338>Come on, come on. We're lighting the candles.339>I understand why Superman is here...340>but why is there a porcupine at the Easter Bunny's funeral? 341>-You get it? -I got it.342>Back in the cage? 301>哇！302>看到了？303>我们必须要把墙弄回来304>-不行，因为新的天窗 -有天窗？305>哇！306>我们该怎么办？要开始找新地方吗？307>我感到…308>我祖母可能不喜欢那样309>是吗？310>又能感觉到她了，是吗？311>-有一点，对 -是312>菲比，你祖母是不是说你应该一个人住这里？313>你也听见了？你有天份314>菲比，没关系315>我喜欢和乔伊住316>-你确定吗？ -拜托，我讨厌打包…317>那里离公司比较近318>我们在一起很开心319>虽然我真的会想念和你住在一起320>-我也是 -我知道321>等一下，你有没有听到？322>听，我听到你祖母说话323>她说既然你要一个人住这里…324>你该把那把紫色椅子给瑞秋325>没有，我没有听到326>奇迹在于那一点点的油…327>应该只够烧一天的，却烧了…328>-整整8天 -对329>这就是为什么我们今天庆祝光明节，故事完结330>-好棒 -是啊331>我最喜欢的部份…332>是超人救出全埃及的犹太人333>犰狳不是那么喜欢那部份334>班，该来点…335>光明节蜡烛！336>嘿337>哇！好像是复活节兔子的葬礼338>来，来，我们要点蜡烛339>我了解为什么超人在这里…340>但为什么有豪猪参加复活节兔子的葬礼？341>-你弄好了吗？ -弄好了342>它进笼子了没？。
Mike:(walks to the couch with coffee for Phoebe) Here you go. Phoebe: Thanks! Honey, would you want me to take your name? Mike: Oh, it's just... It's up to you. It's your name. You've got to live with it.Phoebe: All right, let's see, call me Mrs. Hannigan.Chandler:(pretending to call her.) Mrs. Hannigan?Phoebe:(loudly and crossly) What? Can't you see I'm in the middle of something? (smiling) Ooh, I like it.Joey:(enters) Hey guys.Chandler: Hey Joe! We've got a couple of things we've got to check out at the new house. You want to come with us?Joey: No, thank you.Monica:All right. I know you're not happy about us moving, but you're the only one who hasn't seen the house.Chandler:Yeah, come with us. You'll see how close it is to the city. Joey: But no, it's not close. You said it was in escrow? I couldn't even find it on the map.Monica: Joey, please come. It would mean so much to us.Joey:You know what? You are my friends, I wanna be supportive, I will come with you. SHOTGUN!Chandler: Damn it.Monica: See you guys later.Phoebe: Okay!Monica:(to Joey) I'll pick you up at eleven. So glad you're coming. Phoebe: Good for you. That was really mature.Joey: What? No, the only reason I'm going to their stupid new house, is so I can point out everything that's wrong with it, so they don't move. I'm gonna make them stay here.Mike: You're a strange kind of grown-up.Phoebe: Joey, you can't make someone do something they don't want to do. Believe me, there's something I've been trying to get Mike to do in bed and there's... he's just...Mike: Woo-wo-hey-hey-hey... Can we not talk about that right now? Phoebe:All right, prude... Look, Monica and Chandler really love this house. You are not gonna talk them into staying here.Joey: Hey, hey... I can convince people to do anything, you know. I bet I can even get Mike to do that "thing". What is it?(Phoebe whispers something in Joey's ear, but after hearing it he jumps up, shocked)Joey: I AM NOT GONNA HELP YOU DO THAT! Goodbye! (he leaves)[Scene: A restaurant. Rachel enters.]Rachel:(to maitre d')Hi, I'm here to see Mr. Campbell... with Gucci. The reservation is probably under Gucci. It's spelled like Gu kk i, which could be confusing.Maitre d':Mr. Campbell's not here yet. Let me show you to his table. (They walk to the table, but Rachel suddenly gasps. Sitting there is Mr. Zellner, her boss from her current job at Ralph Lauren.) Rachel:Oh my God! That's my boss. You have to seat us somewhere else. Maitre d': I'm sorry. That's always Mr. Campbell's table. 给你谢谢Honey, 你想要我随你的名字吗?Oh~ 你决定吧. 这是你的名字. 你有特权.让我想想.叫我 Hunigen 夫人.Hunigen 夫人.什么? 你不觉得我的名字在什么东西的当中吗?Oh 我喜欢.Hey 大伙!Hey Joe.我们还有些事要做，我们要去看新房子. 你想和我们一起去吗?不, 谢了.我们搬家你不高兴了, 但你是唯一没有看过我们新房子的人.Yeah. 和我们一起去吧, 你会知道那离城很近.不, 才不近.你说它在****.我在地图上都找不到. Joey, 求你来吧. 你对我们真的很重要. 知道吗, 你是我们的朋友. 我需要支持. 我会和你们一起去的, 决定了！太好了.一会见.好我们在11点接你. 真高兴你能来.好真不错. 你够成熟了.什么? 不. 我去那所破房子唯一的原因是我能说出里面所有的缺点，让他们不要住进去.我要他们留在这里.你的力气长了不少.Joey, 你不能让别人做他们不愿做的事. 相信我, 有些事我想让MIKE在床上做但他....O..oh He..hey我们现在不谈那个.好吗. Pooh?听着. Monica 和 Chandler 真的很喜欢这所房子. 你不应该说服他们住在这里。
-Hey, guys.. -Wait! Let me tell them.-Sure. -Joey's gonna be..a celebrity guest on a game show.Really? Which one?Fish. Seaweed.-A sunken ship. -Things you find in the ocean.-You're gonna be on Pyramid! -Yeah.-That was our favorite game show ever. -Except for Match Game. Or Win, Lose or Draw.What did I marry into?You guys wanna come and watch me tape the show?Oh, we can't. We're throwing Phoebe a bachelorette party. Yeah. Sorry, boys, this ride's closing.And Chandler and I have this stupid college alumni thing.I can't believe you get to meet Donny Osmond.Seriously?Ross and I always wanted to be Donny and Marie.You guys just keep getting cooler and cooler.Yeah, we used to perform for our family and friends.Oh, God, that's right. I blocked that out.I'm leaving you.00:01:20,640 --> 00:01:21,600It's so weird to see all these people again.Oh, my God, look. There's Jeffrey Klarik.-Who? -He was roommates with John Rosoff.He went out with Andrea Tamborino.She dumped him for Michael Skloff.Did I go to this school?Hey, there's Missy Goldberg. You gotta remember her.Sure. Nice.Dude, you're married to my sister.You're right. By saying "nice, " I'm virtually licking her.Hey, I hear she's single again. You think I should ask her out?Are you asking permission to break the pact?Yes, please.Hey. Hey, check out the fliers for the band.-I made them on a Macintosh. -Awesome.The name really stands out.Thanks to a little something called Helvetica Bold 24-point.Man, we're gonna rock that Asian Student Union.-Hey, guys. -Hey, Missy.-Our band is playing on Friday. -Yeah, you should come check us out. We're called Way/No Way.-No way. -Way.-Great. I'll be there. -Fresh.-Boss. -Mint.-She's gone. -I know it.-I am totally gonna ask her out. -Dude, I was gonna ask her out.-I said it first, bro. -Well, I thought it first, Homes.-Look, if you date.. -Wait! Wait! What are we doing?What we have is too important to mess it up over some girl.I mean, we can get laid any time we want.Totally.-I had sex in high school. -Me too. I'm good at it.All right, I say we make a pact.Neither of us will go out with Missy Goldberg.You got it.That's Missy Goldberg, Phoebe Cates and Molly Ringwald..-who we can't go out with. -Those are the pacts.And Sheena Easton. But we probably couldn't get her anyway.Maybe not you.Well, I officially give you permission to break the pact.Thank you.Here I go. Hey, remember how scary it used to be going up to girls in college? -Your hands are shaking. -I know. And I can't stop sweating.Five, four, three. Applause.Yeah!Welcome. It is Soap Opera Week here on Pyramid.Let's meet our contestants. First, Gene Lester is a database specialist.He's gonna be playing with Days of Our Lives star Joey Tribbiani.And over here, we have Henrietta Cherry.I know it can be intimidating for regular people to be around celebrities..but relax. I'm just like you, only better-looking and richer.She'll be playing with star of General Hospital, Leslie Charleson. Welcome, everybody. Good luck to all of you. Let's play Pyramid.All right? Now, we flipped a coin before the show.Gene, you won the toss, so you'll start. Which category?-"You Crossed the Line." -"You Crossed the Line." Joey..describe for Gene these things that have lines.Give me 20 seconds on the clock, please. Ready? Go.Okay, it's a store like a supermarket.I see what I did there. Okay, okay. I'm writing in my..-Diary. -No, more like a notebook.If I'm building a house, the plan..isn't called a "shmooprint"..I can't do that either?In high school, I once had sex with a girl right in the middle of the..? -Cafeteria? -Yeah, but they're not looking for that.-Thank you so much for this. -You like it?Oh, my God, it's all so elegant.When's the dirty stuff starting?-What? -The strippers and the guys dancing..and, you know, pee-pees flying about.Phoebe, I.. There isn't gonna be any "flying about."We thought we were a little too mature for stuff like that.Oh, okay.I see what you're doing. That's fine. This is all there is. Just tea. Okay. Raunchy.Seriously, Phoebe, it's not gonna be that kind of a party.Really? So this is..?This is my big sendoff into married life?Rachel, this is the only bachelorette party I'm ever gonna have.I've got a big wad of ones in my purse.Really? I mean, really? It's just tea?-Phoebe, of course there's more. -Okay.I mean, let me just go talk to Monica..and get an ETA on the pee-pees.We've got a problem.Oh, my God. Did someone find my Band-Aid in their scone?That wasn't an apricot?-What's the problem? -Okay. Phoebe wants a stripper.I thought we said we were too grown up for that.Yeah, well, it's what she wants.Hey, why is the page that has strippers on it dog-eared?Chandler was in Tulsa. I was bored.Please don't tell him.Now, Gene, I must remind you, you need all six of these to stay in the game. Describe for Joey "things you find in your refrigerator."They might as well just give us the points.Give me 20 seconds on the clock. Ready? Go.-You put this in your coffee. -A spoon. Your hands. Your face.-It's white. -Paper. Snow. A ghost!-It's heavier than milk. -A rock. A dog. The Earth.Pass.-You put it on a sandwich. -Salami. Anchovies. Jam.-It's white. -Paper. Snow. A ghost!-It's made from eggs. -Chickens?Pass.-You put this on a hamburger. -Ketchup! Relish!Oh, time's up. Well, Joey, you were..almost on a roll there. Gene..you'll have a chance to go to the Winner's Circle, but now..Henrietta, you're going to the Winner's Circle to try your luck for $10,000.. right after this. Don't go away.And we're out.-How about that ketchup thing, huh? -Yeah. Impressive.Oh, so we didn't win. But it's fun to play the game, right?I got a kid starting college. I have to get surgery on my knee.You just lost me 10 grand.Oh, wow.I'm so sorry. Okay, I promise, we'll do better next time.Well, I will, because I won't be playing with you.Hey, some of those are pretty hard.Like, why would there be a ghost in my fridge?Yeah.-So Saturday night? -I'd love to.Great.So how come it took you so long to ask me out?Oh, well, this is gonna sound kind of silly..but do you remember my roommate, Chandler Bing?Sure. He was in your "band."It's been 16 years, but the air quotes still hurt.-Sorry. -That's okay. Anyway..Well, he and I both really liked you a lot..but we didn't want it to jeopardize our friendship, so we made a pact..that neither of us could ask you out.-Really? -Yeah, why?Well, Chandler and I used to make out.A lot.-You did? -Yeah.-We'd go to the science lab after-hours. -And on my turf?!Hey, where is this guy? It's been over an hour.He's coming from Jersey. He said he'd get here as fast as he could.Oh, by the way, Phoebe's friend Marge found an earring in cucumber sandwich. Well, it's not mi..I am not on my game today.-Who is it? -It's the police.The police!That's right. It's Officer Goodbody.What's the matter, officer? Has someone been bad?That's a lot of stairs.Boy.You should warn people there's no elevator.I should not have had that Mexican food for lunch.Are you gonna be okay, Officer..?-Goodbody. -If you say so.So where's the young lady..who I am supposed to take downtown?Oh, God.You, my dear, are under arrest.Cardiac arrest?All right. Somebody show me where to plug in my box..and we'll get this party started.-Over here? -Yeah.-All right. -Rachel?-Yeah? -Are you kidding?We didn't know you wanted a stripper, so we got the phone book.. -and got the first name we could find. -How old's your phone book? Oh, my God, this man is gonna get naked in my apartment.God, no. I don't wanna see him take his clothes off.Are you talking about me?No.I mean, obviously we wanna see you take your clothes off.You big piece of eye candy.Okay. Okay, ladies, can I have your attention, please?Oh, yeah.Did someone call for the long arm of the law?I should warn you, I have a concealed weapon.I hope you're familiar with this state's penal code.Okay, okay. Enough teasing.Now for some pleasing.She cringed.This is how I look when I'm turned-on.You were talking about me before.Look, I don't need this. I'm out of here. Where's my hat?Look, I've been in this business for a long time.Shocking.Now, if you'll just pay me my $300, I'll be on my way.-$300? Are you kidding? -That's okay. Let me get my checkbook.You're not gonna pay him. He didn't do anything.Didn't do anything? I took a bus all the way from Hoboken.I climbed, I don't know, like, a billion stairs.And it's not like I can take them two at a time.I don't care. We're not paying you $300 for this.It's not my fault if you're too uptight to appreciate..the male form in all its glory.Okay, I'm uptight. That's why I don't wanna watch a middle-aged guy.. dance around in what I can only assume is a child's Halloween costume.I may have borrowed this from my nephew..but let me assure you, what's underneath is all man.I'm sorry, did you say "all man" or "old man"?You're mean.-Look, officer.. Sir? -Damn it.Big surprise. The hunk of beef has feelings.Applause.Okay, Henrietta, you picked "Jack and Jill Went Up The Hill."My friend Rachel has a kid. I totally know nursery rhymes.Joey, describe these things associated with the United States Congress. Give me 20 seconds on the clock, please.Ready? Go.Pass.Pass.Pass.-The thing hanging in your throat. -Uvula.Then pass.Okay. Henrietta, you didn't get all the points you needed..so that means, Gene, you are going to the Winner's Circle to try for $10,000. And you're gonna be going there with Joey Tribbiani.Pass.Nope. You must be thinking of someone else.I was never in a band.You made out with Missy Goldberg?How could you do that after you promised me?Excuse me.That didn't make us sound gay at all.-You broke the pact. -Ross, that was 16 years ago.That doesn't matter. We're talking about the foundation of our friendship.I believe the foundation of our friendship was unfortunate hair.If we're really gonna do this, it's not like you never broke one of the pacts. -I didn't. -Oh, really?-No. -Oh, really?-No. -Adrienne Turner.Yes?-Hey, Adrienne. -Hey, Adrienne. Hey.I never did anything with Adrienne Turner.Oh, please. And you knew how much I liked her.I don't know what you're talking about.Really? Remember that party freshman year?A week before Christmas vacation? I do.You had some visitors.I can't believe we're at a real college party.I have to pee so bad.This is so awesome.College guys are so cute.-Hey, you've got a boyfriend. -I know.But if a guy who looks like Corey Haim wants to kiss me, I am so gonna let him. Hey, look, there's Chandler.That stupid friend of Ross' who said I was fat.-I've already lost four pounds. -You can so totally tell.I know!Well, let's see, maybe he knows where Ross is.Hey, how's it going?-Aren't you..? -Yeah, Rachel.And this is Ross' sister, Monica. We met at Thanksgiving.Right. So how you doing?Bitchen.-Hi, Monica. -Hi, Chandler.It's really nice to see you. Not!Okay.I'll see if I can find Ross.Oh, my God, Rach. Beanbag chairs.Do not let me sit in one of those. We'll be here for days.Listen, Adrienne, you can't tell Chandler about this.Oh, believe me, Ross, I won't be telling anybody about this.Cool.No way.I didn't know you knew about that.Well, I did. And it hurt.That's when I wrote the song "Betrayal in the Common Room."That's why that song had so much power.Man, I'm sorry.Look, that was a long time ago.So I made out with Adrienne, and you made out with Missy.Well, I guess we're even.We are even, right?One more thing. I was so pissed at you that night, I wanted to get back at you. So I thought, "Who does Ross like more than anybody?"What did you do to my mom?Not her.I am so drunk.That's weird. I've had the same number of beers as you and don't feel anything. So you girls having fun?For your information, ass-munch..I've lost four pounds. Maybe even five with all the dancing.-Somebody order a pizza? -Oh, that's me!I am so not gonna do good on my SATs tomorrow.Well, maybe you could go to school here next year and we could totally hang out. Oh, yeah. There's a plan.Why don't I just start taking my smart pills now.Well, maybe you could get in on a beauty scholarship.What a line.-So where are you applying to? -Well..I think it's kind of really important that I go somewhere where there's sun. So I'm sort of.. Hey!I'm in college, and I'm in a band.Yeah, okay.What's the matter? You never saw a 50-year-old stripper cry before? You know, it's fine. We'll pay you.No, no, you're right. Who am I kidding?I should have hung up that breakaway jockstrap years ago.Half the time, it just pops off by itself.Maybe now is a good time for cake and presents.What am I gonna do? I mean..this has been my life for 32 years.Taking my clothes off in front of people is all I know.No, there's got to be something else that you can do.I mean, what skills do you have?I don't know.I can make my pecs dance.I can pick up a dollar bill with my butt cheeks.I can go to that special place inside me where I feel no shame.So maybe something in an office.Or you could.. You could teach stripping.You know, share your gift. Pass the torch.You know, actually, that's not a bad idea.I could do it out of my apartment. I don't think my mom would mind.There you go. Okay. You think you're gonna be okay?-Yeah. Yeah. -Yeah.This is so weird.You never know when it's gonna be your last dance.And I didn't even get a chance to finish it.Finish it.-What? -Your last dance. Do it for us.-Really? -Really?Yeah. Yeah, he deserves to do the thing he loves one last time. Okay. All right. Get ready, ladies.Okay.Oh, this is so hot!Oh, no, don't stop.Have to.I am so sorry that you have to do this with me.Listen, I know this won't put your kid through college..but would you like a Days of our Lives mug?We're back in five, four, three, two..Applause.Welcome to the Winner's Circle. Joey, Gene, you guys ready? -Yeah. -Sure.Okay. Give me 60 seconds on the clock, please.Ready? Go.Oak. Maple. Elm. Birch.I don't know. Types of trees..?Buenos dias. Enchilada. Por favor.Oh, I'm so sorry, I don't know any Spanish words.A match. A candle.Things that go: when you put them out.A torch. A bonfire.-Your pee. -Things that burn."I'd like to go for a walk." "Scratch my belly."Dude. Dude, I think you're losing it."I have fur." "I like to bark."What a dog says.-Pepperoni. -Pizza toppings!Cindy Crawford. Christie Brinkley. Heidi Klum.Claudia Schiffer. Christy Turlington. Kate Moss.Girls Chandler could never get?-Supermodels. -Where?I can't believe you're so upset.What do you mean? You kissed Rachel.Ross, she was so drunk she didn't even remember it the next day. Plus, I should tell you, it did not last long.Hey!I'm in college, and I'm in a band.Yeah, okay.And now I've killed one.Hey. Where's Rachel?She and Phoebe took the stripper to the hospital.Sounds like your elegant tea party went off just as planned.Did you know Chandler kissed Rachel?What? When was this?Last week. We had some wine and..You don't know I'm kidding.1987.The weekend you guys visited me at school.-Oh, my God. That's wild. -But it was, like, a million years ago. -It doesn't matter. -It matters to me.-Why? -Because the night you kissed Rachel..was the night I kissed Rachel for the very first time.-You kissed her that night too? -Two guys in one night?Oh, I thought she became a slut after she got her nose fixed.-Seriously, where did this happen? -Okay..after you told me she was passed out in our room..I went in there to make sure she was all right.She was lying on my bed, all buried in people's coats.I went to kiss her on the forehead..but it was so dark, I accidentally got her lips.I started to pull away, but then I felt her start to kiss me back.It was only for a second, but it was amazing.And now I find out that you kissed her first.-Wait, what bed did you say she was on? -Mine.-I'm sure I put her on my bed. -No, she was definitely on my bed. Why would I kiss a girl and then put her on your bed?Well, then who was on my bed?No! No!Yes!-You were under the pile of coats? -I was the pile of coats! Oh, my God!You were my midnight mystery kisser?!You were my first kiss with Rachel?!You were my first kiss ever?!What did I marry into?!Crap!424。
Six dollars,please. 麻烦六块钱Six? I just had it for one night. It's three. 六块？我才租了一个晚上是三块钱Eight o'clock's the cutoff. And,oh,it's 8:02. 八点钟结算，现在八点两分了You know,in a weird way, you have too much power. 不知道为什么你的权力好像太大了You have to help me because I only have three. 你得帮帮我，我只有三块钱I can help with that. 我可以帮忙Oh,my God. Richard? 我的天，理查？Your lip went bald. 你的胡子刮掉了Thanks. 谢谢You look great! 你气色很好Right. 是啊No,you do. You.... 不，真的，你…What? 什么？You got panties stuck to your leg. 你的内裤黏在腿上了I was just grabbing some things out of the dryer,and static cling. 我刚才从烘干机里拿出衣服，这是静电Or maybe God knew I'd be running into you and saw an opportunity.也许老天爷知道我会碰到你觉得这是个机会It's good to see you. 见到你真高兴It's good to see you too. 我也是The One Where Monica and Rich are Just Friends 本集播出： “摩妮卡与查理成为朋友”See that guy? He's in "Classics" now... 看到那傢伙没有？他现在看的是经典巨片... but as soon as we leave, he's going straight to the porn. 不过等我们一走他就马上去逛色情片He'll go to the counter with Citizen Kane,Vertigo and Clockwork Orgy. 到时候他会租“大国民” “迷魂记”和“发条橘子”This is nice. 这样真好-I miss this. -Me too. 我好怀念这种时光我也是You want to get a hamburger or something? 想一起吃个汉堡什么的吗？I don't know if that's a good idea. 我不知道这样好不好Just friends. I won't grope you. I promise. 只是朋友嘛我保证不会毛手毛脚I think it's too soon. 我觉得太快了No,it's not too soon. I had lunch at 11. 不会太快，我十一点吃的午餐Yeah,baby! 好啊-What are you making? -Chocolate milk. Want some? 你在做什么？巧克力牛奶，想喝吗？No,thanks. I'm 29. 不，谢了，我已经29岁了Oh,my God! I gotta go to work! 我的天，我得上班了What time will you get off tonight? 你今晚几点下班？It could be really late. 可能会很晚Not again! 拜托，怎么又这样？I know. I'm sorry. I'll make a deal with you,okay? 我知道，对不起我们打个商量好吗？Every night that you're asleep before I get home... 只要你在我回家以前睡着…... I will wake you up in a way that has proved popular in the past. 我就用你以前很喜欢的方法让你起来Well,if you need to stay late, I want to be supportive of that. 如果你要加班我很愿意支持你Look at you. Since when do you rollerblade? 看，你什么时候开始溜冰了？Since tomorrow. 明天I met a cute guy in the park. 我在公园遇到一个帅哥And he jogs and blades and swims and so we made a deal. 他是慢跑、溜冰和游泳高手，我们说好了He's gonna teach me how to do jock stuff. 他要教我各种运动-And what are you gonna do for him? -I'm gonna let him. 那你要如何回报他？我会让他达到目的Cool. 很好Good morning. 早安Somebody got in late last night. 有人昨晚很晚才回来哦Yeah,well,I ran into Richard. 这个嘛，我碰到理查了When did this happen? 什么时候的事？Around 8:02. 大概八点两分We talked for a while,and then we went out for an innocent burger. 我们聊了一会儿然后一起吃了个单纯的汉堡There's no such thing as an "innocent burger." 没有所谓“单纯的汉堡”-Gonna see him again? -Tomorrow night. 你还会跟他见面吗？明天晚上Monica,what are you doing? 摩妮卡，你这是在干什么？She spent six months getting over him... 她花了六个月才忘记他…...and now she's celebrating that by going on a date with him. 现在她庆祝的方式就是跟他约会It's not a date,okay? 这不是约会，好吗？I'm teaching him how to make a lasagna for a potluck dinner. 我要教他做千层面他要在家里请客You might want to make extra,because you'll be hungry after the sex. 最好多做一点做爱之后会很饿We're not gonna have sex. 我们不会上床Nothing's changed here. He still doesn't want children,and I still do.一切如旧，他还是不要孩子我还是想要孩子So we're just gonna be friends. 所以我们只能当朋友Naked friends. 赤裸裸的朋友-Do you have any ice? -Check the freezer. 你有冰吗？打开冷冻库看看If there's none in there, we're probably out. 如果没有，那大概就是用完了Are you just getting home? It's late. 你刚下班吗？很晚了I know. I had the greatest day,though. 我知道，不过今天实在太棒了I went to a meeting with reps from Calvin Klein. 我和卡文克莱的销售代表开会I liked a line of lingerie,so my boss ordered a ton of it. And you? 我看中一款性感内衣我老板就订了一吨，你呢？I discovered I'm able to count all my teeth using just my tongue. 我发现我可以光用舌头数完所有牙齿Why do you have a copy of The Shining in your freezer? 你把一本“鬼店” 放在冷冻库干嘛？I was reading it last night and I got scared,so.... 我昨晚越看越害怕，就…But you're safe from it if it's in the freezer? 把书放进冷冻库你就安全了吗？Well,safer. 至少安全一点I never start reading it... 我每次看书的时候…...without making sure we got room in the freezer. 都先确定冰库里有地方放…How often do you read it? 你常常看这本书吗？Haven't you ever read a book over and over again? 你从不把一本书一看再看吗？I read Little Women more than once. “小妇人”我看了好几次It's a classic. What's so great about The Shining? 那是经典作品 “鬼店”哪里好看？The question should be,what is not so great about The Shining? 你应该问 “鬼店”有哪里不好看And the answer would be, "nothing." All right? 答案是“没有”，知道吗？This is the scariest book ever. 这是有史以来最恐怖的书I bet it's better than that classic of yours. 一定比你的经典作品好看We'll just see about that,okay? 我们走着瞧，好吗？I will read The Shining, and you will read Little Women. 我看“鬼店” 你看“小妇人”All right,you got it. 好，没问题Now,Rach,these little women.... 瑞秋，这些小妇人How little are they? 到底有多小？I mean,are they,like,scary little? 会不会很恐怖？Chandler,Ross? This is Robert. 钱德、罗斯，这是劳勃You have lipstick right here. 你这里沾了唇膏That's okay,it's mine. We just kissed. 没关系，那是我的唇膏我们刚才接吻了Isn't it a bit cold out for shorts? 穿短裤有点冷吧？Well,I'm from California. 我是加州人Right. Sometimes you guys just burst into flame. 对，有时候你们加州人会自燃I'm up. I'm up. I've gotten up now. Anybody want anything? 我起来了…我起来了有人要什么吗？-I'll have coffee. -Me too. 我要咖啡我也是Make that three. 三杯吧Ross,why don't you come with me? 罗斯，跟我来What's the matter? What's going on? 怎么了？怎么回事？Robert's coming out. 劳勃快出来了What do you mean? Is he gay? 什么意思？他是同性恋？He's coming out of his shorts. 他就快从短裤里掉出来了What? 什么？The man is showing brain. 这傢伙暴露重要部位Are you sure? Hold on. 你确定？等一下I'm sorry. That was a coffee and a.... 对不起你们点的是咖啡和…Coffee. We could write it down. 咖啡，我们可以写下来No,no. That won't be necessary. 不…不用了Well? 怎么样？What do we do? What do we do? 我们该怎么办？…Well,I suppose we just try to not look directly at it. 我想只能尽量不要用正眼看Like an eclipse. 就像日食一样When people compliment my cooking tonight,what do I say? 如果今晚有人称赞我的手艺我该怎么说？You say,"Thank you." Then you buy me something pretty. 你说“多谢夸奖” 然后买礼物酬谢我Come on,we're gonna put our hands in this bowl... 来，我们把手放进这个缽里…...and we're gonna start squishing the tomatoes. 然后开始把番茄压碎This feels very weird. 感觉怪怪的You touch people's eyeballs and this feels weird? 你整天摸人家的眼球还说这感觉怪怪的？Sure,I touch them. But I spent years learning not to squish them. 我当然会摸人家的眼球但我好不容易才不动手压碎That's my hand. 那是我的手-Keep squishing. -The tomatoes are squishing. 继续压番茄吱吱响You got some on your shirt. 你的衬衫沾到了Hold on a second. 等一下Just put a little club soda on it. Get to it right away. 马上放苏打水上去It should do... 应该…...the trick. 就可以了What? 怎么了？You've got some on your pants. 你裤子上也沾到了I'll just throw them out. 干脆丢掉算了These little women! 这些小妇人You're liking it? 你喜欢吗？Oh,yeah. Amy just burned Jo's manuscript. 喜欢，爱美刚烧了乔的稿子I don't see how he could forgive her. 我看他永远不会原谅她Jo's a girl. It's short for Josephine. 乔是女的，是约瑟芬的简称But Jo's got a crush on Laurie. 但乔喜欢劳瑞You mean it's like a girl-girl thing? 你是说这是女同性恋？That is the one thing missing from The Shining. “鬼店”可没有这种东西No,actually,Laurie's a boy. 不，其实劳瑞是男的No wonder Rachel had to read this so many times. 难怪瑞秋要看这么多次How'd the basketball go? 篮球好玩吗？I learned how to shoot a lay-up, a foul shot,and a 23-pointer. 我学会了篮板球、罚球和23分球You mean a 3-pointer? 你是说三分球吧？I get more because I'm dainty. 我姿势优美，可以多几分Is there a phone here to check my messages? 这里有没有电话可以查留言？-ln back. Do you want a quarter? -I always carry one in my sock. 在后面，你有铜板吗？我一向在袜子里放一个铜板What are you doing? Get back on your side 你干嘛？回去那边坐Hello! 哈罗I'm Joey. We haven't met. 我是乔伊，我们还没见过面Good to meet you. Robert. 很高兴认识你，劳勃What? 怎么了？What? You guys,what is going on? 怎么了？你们怎么回事？Do you not like Robert? 你们不喜欢劳勃吗？Why are you laughing? 你们笑什么？Calm down. No reason to get testy. 平静一点，用不着激动-You guys! Come on! -We're sorry. 你们怎么回事嘛？对不起It just seems that Robert isn't as concealed in the shorts area... 只不过你的劳勃的短裤蔽体的的部份…...as one may have hoped. 好像是少了一点What do you mean? 什么意思？Could you pass me those cookies? 把饼干拿给我好吗？Sure. 没问题So how'd the lasagna go over? 他们喜不喜欢千层面？Really? Good. So you owe me three pretty things. 真的？很好现在你欠我三样礼物了I've been thinking about you too. 我一直在想着你的事Well,no. It's hard, this "platonomy" thing. 不，这种柏拉图恋情很不容易It's a word. 这是一个词I do think it's better this way. We're being smart. 我觉得这样比较好这样才是明智之举Yes,I'm sure. 对，我肯定You really sure? 你真的肯定？I'll call you back. 我再回你电话So we can be friends who sleep together. 我们可以当有性关系的朋友Absolutely. This'll just be something we do. 没错，这不代表什么Like racquetball. 就像打壁球一样Sounds smart and healthy to me. 我觉得聪明又健康So just out of curiosity... 不过基于好奇心...do you currently have any other "racquetball" buddies? 你还有几个打壁球的伙伴？Just your dad. 只有你爸爸一个Although that's actually racquetball. 虽然那是真的壁球You know,I do have a blind date... 我下星期二…...with my sister's neighbor next Tuesday. 要和我妹妹的邻居约会Do you want me to cancel it? 你希望我取消吗？No! 不要Because if you did, that means you'd be canceling for me. 如果你取消那就是为我取消的-And we're just friends. -Exactly. 而我们只是朋友没错Oh,don't sit down. 不要坐-Ready to go? -You bet. 可以走了吗？可以And first,here's a gift. 不过先送你一个礼物Stretchy pants?! 伸缩内裤？The greatest things in the world! If I were you,I'd wear them every day. 这个东西好得要命如果是我，我会天天穿Gee,thank you. Really,that's so nice. 谢谢，真的，你太体帖了But,to be honest, I don't think I can wear these. 不过说老实话我看我不能穿They're so tight. I'd feel like I'm on display. 太紧了，我会觉得好像是给人家看的I'm sorry. 对不起That's all right. I'll figure.... 没关系，我再想办法…How's it going? 大家好吗？Good. 很好How's The Shining? “鬼店”好不好看？Danny just went into Room 217. 丹尼刚走进217号房The next part's the best! That dead lady in the bathtub 下面是最精彩的浴缸里的死女人…You're gonna ruin it! 这样就不好看了I'll talk in code. 我用密码说Remember when the kid sees those two "blanks" in the hallway? 记得小孩在走廊看到那两个“空白”吗？Yeah,that's very cool. 对，那里很好看All "blank" and no "blank" makes "blank" a "blank-blank." 所有的“空白”都把“空白”弄成“空白”No,the end! 不，讲结局Jack almost kills them with the "blank"... 杰克差点用“空白” 杀了他们... but in the last second, they get away. 不过到最后关头他们还是跑了I can't believe you just did that. 你居然做这种事I can't believe she cracked your code. 她居然识破你的密码Okay. Laurie proposes to Jo and she says no... 好，劳瑞跟乔求婚，她拒绝了...even though she's in love with him. Then he ends up marrying Amy. 虽然她其实爱着他他后来娶了爱美Mine was by accident! 我不是存心要讲的The boiler explodes and destroys the hotel and kills the dad. 锅炉爆炸，烧毁旅馆那个爸爸也被烧死了Beth dies. 贝丝死了Beth dies? 贝丝死了？Is that true? If I keep reading,is Beth gonna die? 真的吗？如果继续看下去贝丝就会死？No,Beth doesn't die. She doesn't die. Does she,Rachel? 不，贝丝不会死，她不会死对不对，瑞秋？He's asking if you've ruined... 他问的是你是不是破坏了...the first book he's ever loved that didn't star Jack Nicholson. 他喜欢的第一本不是由杰克尼克逊当主角的小说？No. She doesn't die. 不，她不会死Then why would you say that? 那你干嘛这么说？Because I wanted to hurt you. 因为我故意要伤害你Oh,there they are. I dropped my keys. 在这里，我的钥匙掉了Got them. 找到了Sorry. I'm sorry. 对不起，对不起You would not believe my day. 你一定不敢相信我今天有多惨I had to work two shifts. And then to top it off... 我上了两个班除此之外…... I lost one of my fake boobs in a grill fire. 我的义乳又被烤炉的火烧了What are you smiling at? 你在笑什么？I was thinking your day could still pick up. 我在想可能会柳暗花明又一村I love this "friend" thing! 我喜欢这种朋友关系Robert's gonna be here any second, so could one of you just tell him? 劳勃马上就要来了你们哪个人跟他说好吗？Please,right now. 拜托，马上说Every time I see him,it's "ls it on the loose? Is it watching me?" 我一见他就想“那玩意儿是不是晃来晃去看着我”We can't tell him. 我们不能跟他说You can't go up to a guy you barely know and talk about his "stuff." 你不能跟素昧平生的人谈他的“那话儿”He's right. Even if it's to say something complimentary. 他说得对就算是赞美也不行You ready for the gym? 可以去健身房了吗？There's a new rock-climbing wall. We can spot each other. 有一面新的攀岩墙我们可以互相侦查Yeah,I can spot you from here. 我从这里就可以侦查你What? 什么？Listen,Robert.... 听我说，劳勃Hey,don't we have to...? 我们不是要…Yeah,we got.... 对，我们要I think you're really,really great. 我觉得你这个人真的很棒Oh,God. Here we go again. 老天，又来了Why does this keep happening? Is it something I'm putting out there? 为什么老是发生这种事？我什么东西让你不高兴？Is this my fault? Or am I just nuts? 这是我的错吗？I don't know what to say. 我不知道该怎么说Hey,buddy? This is a family place. Put the mouse back in the house.老弟？这是阖家光临的地方把老鼠放回屋里去Really? It's just like everyone else's apartment. 真的？这间公寓很普通啊It's got rooms and walls and ceilings. 一样有房间、墙壁和天花板I just wanted to see where you live. Now give me the tour. 我只是想看看你住的地方带我参观参观Oh,my God! 我的天-This is the living room. -That's nice. 这里是客厅真舒适-And this is the kitchen. -That's real pretty. 这里是厨房真漂亮Wait a minute. Don't I get to see the bedroom? 等一下我不能参观卧室吗？Well,it's pretty much your typical... 这是很普通的…... bedroom. 卧室We're still on this side of the door. I didn't get to see it. 我们还在门的这一头我还没看到Oh,shoot. Maybe next time. Thanks for a lovely evening. 要命，下次吧今晚非常愉快So who is she? 她是谁？That was the blind date I told you about. 我跟你说过就是我妹妹介绍的人She called and switched it from Tuesday. 她打电话来改期到今天Did you like her? 你喜欢她吗？I'm just asking as a friend, because I am totally fine with this. 我是以朋友的身份问的因为我不会不高兴Well,you seem fine. 你看起来很高兴Okay,you know what? I'm not fine. I'm not. 好，你知道吗？我不高兴，我很不高兴I mean,how could I be fine? Hearing you come in with her. 我怎么高兴得起来？听到你跟她进来She wants to see your bedroom. 她还想参观你的卧室You know what? 你知道吗？What if we're friends... 我们或许可以做朋友…...who don't see other people? 但不跟其他人交往You mean "exclusive" friends? 你是说“专属的”朋友？Why not? 有何不可？I mean,this has been the most amazing week. 我是说，这个星期美好极了Would it be so terrible? 这也没什么不好吧Even if we were friends who lived together? 我们还可以一面做朋友一面住在一起Or maybe someday,friends who stood up in front of their other friends... 或许有一天可以站在其他朋友面前...and vowed to be friends forever. 发誓当一辈子的朋友You know,we're back where we were. 我们又回到原点了Honey,I would love to do all that, but nothing's changed. 亲爱的，我求之不得但一切都没有改变That's not true. You don't have a moustache. 不是这样的你把胡子刮掉了Okay,one thing's changed. 好吧，有一件事改变了But we still want different things, and we know how this is gonna end. 但我们生活目标仍不同我们都知道结局会怎么样You know what? 你知道吗？I gotta walk out of here right now. 我得马上离开这个房间Because getting over you is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. 因为忘记你是我一生中最不容易的一件事I don't think I could do it again. 我想我再也做不到了I know I couldn't. 我知道我做不到How about one last game of racquetball? 再打最后一场壁球怎么样？Watch the thorns! 小心玫瑰刺What? 怎么了？Beth is really,really sick. 贝丝病得很重很重Jo's there,but I don't think there's anything she can do. 乔在陪她但我想她也没办法You wanna put the book in the freezer? 你要把书放在冰库里吗？302 00:00:00,00 --> 00:00:00,00。
Six dollars,please. 麻烦六块钱Six? I just had it for one night. It's three. 六块？我才租了一个晚上是三块钱Eight o'clock's the cutoff. And,oh,it's 8:02. 八点钟结算，现在八点两分了You know,in a weird way, you have too much power. 不知道为什么你的权力好像太大了You have to help me because I only have three. 你得帮帮我，我只有三块钱I can help with that. 我可以帮忙Oh,my God. Richard? 我的天，理查？Your lip went bald. 你的胡子刮掉了Thanks. 谢谢You look great! 你气色很好Right. 是啊No,you do. You.... 不，真的，你…What? 什么？You got panties stuck to your leg. 你的内裤黏在腿上了I was just grabbing some things out of the dryer,and static cling. 我刚才从烘干机里拿出衣服，这是静电Or maybe God knew I'd be running into you and saw an opportunity.也许老天爷知道我会碰到你觉得这是个机会It's good to see you. 见到你真高兴It's good to see you too. 我也是The One Where Monica and Rich are Just Friends 本集播出： “摩妮卡与查理成为朋友”See that guy? He's in "Classics" now... 看到那傢伙没有？他现在看的是经典巨片... but as soon as we leave, he's going straight to the porn. 不过等我们一走他就马上去逛色情片He'll go to the counter with Citizen Kane,Vertigo and Clockwork Orgy. 到时候他会租“大国民” “迷魂记”和“发条橘子”This is nice. 这样真好-I miss this. -Me too. 我好怀念这种时光我也是You want to get a hamburger or something? 想一起吃个汉堡什么的吗？I don't know if that's a good idea. 我不知道这样好不好Just friends. I won't grope you. I promise. 只是朋友嘛我保证不会毛手毛脚I think it's too soon. 我觉得太快了No,it's not too soon. I had lunch at 11. 不会太快，我十一点吃的午餐Yeah,baby! 好啊-What are you making? -Chocolate milk. Want some? 你在做什么？巧克力牛奶，想喝吗？No,thanks. I'm 29. 不，谢了，我已经29岁了Oh,my God! I gotta go to work! 我的天，我得上班了What time will you get off tonight? 你今晚几点下班？It could be really late. 可能会很晚Not again! 拜托，怎么又这样？I know. I'm sorry. I'll make a deal with you,okay? 我知道，对不起我们打个商量好吗？Every night that you're asleep before I get home... 只要你在我回家以前睡着…... I will wake you up in a way that has proved popular in the past. 我就用你以前很喜欢的方法让你起来Well,if you need to stay late, I want to be supportive of that. 如果你要加班我很愿意支持你Look at you. Since when do you rollerblade? 看，你什么时候开始溜冰了？Since tomorrow. 明天I met a cute guy in the park. 我在公园遇到一个帅哥And he jogs and blades and swims and so we made a deal. 他是慢跑、溜冰和游泳高手，我们说好了He's gonna teach me how to do jock stuff. 他要教我各种运动-And what are you gonna do for him? -I'm gonna let him. 那你要如何回报他？我会让他达到目的Cool. 很好Good morning. 早安Somebody got in late last night. 有人昨晚很晚才回来哦Yeah,well,I ran into Richard. 这个嘛，我碰到理查了When did this happen? 什么时候的事？Around 8:02. 大概八点两分We talked for a while,and then we went out for an innocent burger. 我们聊了一会儿然后一起吃了个单纯的汉堡There's no such thing as an "innocent burger." 没有所谓“单纯的汉堡”-Gonna see him again? -Tomorrow night. 你还会跟他见面吗？明天晚上Monica,what are you doing? 摩妮卡，你这是在干什么？She spent six months getting over him... 她花了六个月才忘记他…...and now she's celebrating that by going on a date with him. 现在她庆祝的方式就是跟他约会It's not a date,okay? 这不是约会，好吗？I'm teaching him how to make a lasagna for a potluck dinner. 我要教他做千层面他要在家里请客You might want to make extra,because you'll be hungry after the sex. 最好多做一点做爱之后会很饿We're not gonna have sex. 我们不会上床Nothing's changed here. He still doesn't want children,and I still do.一切如旧，他还是不要孩子我还是想要孩子So we're just gonna be friends. 所以我们只能当朋友Naked friends. 赤裸裸的朋友-Do you have any ice? -Check the freezer. 你有冰吗？打开冷冻库看看If there's none in there, we're probably out. 如果没有，那大概就是用完了Are you just getting home? It's late. 你刚下班吗？很晚了I know. I had the greatest day,though. 我知道，不过今天实在太棒了I went to a meeting with reps from Calvin Klein. 我和卡文克莱的销售代表开会I liked a line of lingerie,so my boss ordered a ton of it. And you? 我看中一款性感内衣我老板就订了一吨，你呢？I discovered I'm able to count all my teeth using just my tongue. 我发现我可以光用舌头数完所有牙齿Why do you have a copy of The Shining in your freezer? 你把一本“鬼店” 放在冷冻库干嘛？I was reading it last night and I got scared,so.... 我昨晚越看越害怕，就…But you're safe from it if it's in the freezer? 把书放进冷冻库你就安全了吗？Well,safer. 至少安全一点I never start reading it... 我每次看书的时候…...without making sure we got room in the freezer. 都先确定冰库里有地方放…How often do you read it? 你常常看这本书吗？Haven't you ever read a book over and over again? 你从不把一本书一看再看吗？I read Little Women more than once. “小妇人”我看了好几次It's a classic. What's so great about The Shining? 那是经典作品 “鬼店”哪里好看？The question should be,what is not so great about The Shining? 你应该问 “鬼店”有哪里不好看And the answer would be, "nothing." All right? 答案是“没有”，知道吗？This is the scariest book ever. 这是有史以来最恐怖的书I bet it's better than that classic of yours. 一定比你的经典作品好看We'll just see about that,okay? 我们走着瞧，好吗？I will read The Shining, and you will read Little Women. 我看“鬼店” 你看“小妇人”All right,you got it. 好，没问题Now,Rach,these little women.... 瑞秋，这些小妇人How little are they? 到底有多小？I mean,are they,like,scary little? 会不会很恐怖？Chandler,Ross? This is Robert. 钱德、罗斯，这是劳勃You have lipstick right here. 你这里沾了唇膏That's okay,it's mine. We just kissed. 没关系，那是我的唇膏我们刚才接吻了Isn't it a bit cold out for shorts? 穿短裤有点冷吧？Well,I'm from California. 我是加州人Right. Sometimes you guys just burst into flame. 对，有时候你们加州人会自燃I'm up. I'm up. I've gotten up now. Anybody want anything? 我起来了…我起来了有人要什么吗？-I'll have coffee. -Me too. 我要咖啡我也是Make that three. 三杯吧Ross,why don't you come with me? 罗斯，跟我来What's the matter? What's going on? 怎么了？怎么回事？Robert's coming out. 劳勃快出来了What do you mean? Is he gay? 什么意思？他是同性恋？He's coming out of his shorts. 他就快从短裤里掉出来了What? 什么？The man is showing brain. 这傢伙暴露重要部位Are you sure? Hold on. 你确定？等一下I'm sorry. That was a coffee and a.... 对不起你们点的是咖啡和…Coffee. We could write it down. 咖啡，我们可以写下来No,no. That won't be necessary. 不…不用了Well? 怎么样？What do we do? What do we do? 我们该怎么办？…Well,I suppose we just try to not look directly at it. 我想只能尽量不要用正眼看Like an eclipse. 就像日食一样When people compliment my cooking tonight,what do I say? 如果今晚有人称赞我的手艺我该怎么说？You say,"Thank you." Then you buy me something pretty. 你说“多谢夸奖” 然后买礼物酬谢我Come on,we're gonna put our hands in this bowl... 来，我们把手放进这个缽里…...and we're gonna start squishing the tomatoes. 然后开始把番茄压碎This feels very weird. 感觉怪怪的You touch people's eyeballs and this feels weird? 你整天摸人家的眼球还说这感觉怪怪的？Sure,I touch them. But I spent years learning not to squish them. 我当然会摸人家的眼球但我好不容易才不动手压碎That's my hand. 那是我的手-Keep squishing. -The tomatoes are squishing. 继续压番茄吱吱响You got some on your shirt. 你的衬衫沾到了Hold on a second. 等一下Just put a little club soda on it. Get to it right away. 马上放苏打水上去It should do... 应该…...the trick. 就可以了What? 怎么了？You've got some on your pants. 你裤子上也沾到了I'll just throw them out. 干脆丢掉算了These little women! 这些小妇人You're liking it? 你喜欢吗？Oh,yeah. Amy just burned Jo's manuscript. 喜欢，爱美刚烧了乔的稿子I don't see how he could forgive her. 我看他永远不会原谅她Jo's a girl. It's short for Josephine. 乔是女的，是约瑟芬的简称But Jo's got a crush on Laurie. 但乔喜欢劳瑞You mean it's like a girl-girl thing? 你是说这是女同性恋？That is the one thing missing from The Shining. “鬼店”可没有这种东西No,actually,Laurie's a boy. 不，其实劳瑞是男的No wonder Rachel had to read this so many times. 难怪瑞秋要看这么多次How'd the basketball go? 篮球好玩吗？I learned how to shoot a lay-up, a foul shot,and a 23-pointer. 我学会了篮板球、罚球和23分球You mean a 3-pointer? 你是说三分球吧？I get more because I'm dainty. 我姿势优美，可以多几分Is there a phone here to check my messages? 这里有没有电话可以查留言？-ln back. Do you want a quarter? -I always carry one in my sock. 在后面，你有铜板吗？我一向在袜子里放一个铜板What are you doing? Get back on your side 你干嘛？回去那边坐Hello! 哈罗I'm Joey. We haven't met. 我是乔伊，我们还没见过面Good to meet you. Robert. 很高兴认识你，劳勃What? 怎么了？What? You guys,what is going on? 怎么了？你们怎么回事？Do you not like Robert? 你们不喜欢劳勃吗？Why are you laughing? 你们笑什么？Calm down. No reason to get testy. 平静一点，用不着激动-You guys! Come on! -We're sorry. 你们怎么回事嘛？对不起It just seems that Robert isn't as concealed in the shorts area... 只不过你的劳勃的短裤蔽体的的部份…...as one may have hoped. 好像是少了一点What do you mean? 什么意思？Could you pass me those cookies? 把饼干拿给我好吗？Sure. 没问题So how'd the lasagna go over? 他们喜不喜欢千层面？Really? Good. So you owe me three pretty things. 真的？很好现在你欠我三样礼物了I've been thinking about you too. 我一直在想着你的事Well,no. It's hard, this "platonomy" thing. 不，这种柏拉图恋情很不容易It's a word. 这是一个词I do think it's better this way. We're being smart. 我觉得这样比较好这样才是明智之举Yes,I'm sure. 对，我肯定You really sure? 你真的肯定？I'll call you back. 我再回你电话So we can be friends who sleep together. 我们可以当有性关系的朋友Absolutely. This'll just be something we do. 没错，这不代表什么Like racquetball. 就像打壁球一样Sounds smart and healthy to me. 我觉得聪明又健康So just out of curiosity... 不过基于好奇心...do you currently have any other "racquetball" buddies? 你还有几个打壁球的伙伴？Just your dad. 只有你爸爸一个Although that's actually racquetball. 虽然那是真的壁球You know,I do have a blind date... 我下星期二…...with my sister's neighbor next Tuesday. 要和我妹妹的邻居约会Do you want me to cancel it? 你希望我取消吗？No! 不要Because if you did, that means you'd be canceling for me. 如果你取消那就是为我取消的-And we're just friends. -Exactly. 而我们只是朋友没错Oh,don't sit down. 不要坐-Ready to go? -You bet. 可以走了吗？可以And first,here's a gift. 不过先送你一个礼物Stretchy pants?! 伸缩内裤？The greatest things in the world! If I were you,I'd wear them every day. 这个东西好得要命如果是我，我会天天穿Gee,thank you. Really,that's so nice. 谢谢，真的，你太体帖了But,to be honest, I don't think I can wear these. 不过说老实话我看我不能穿They're so tight. I'd feel like I'm on display. 太紧了，我会觉得好像是给人家看的I'm sorry. 对不起That's all right. I'll figure.... 没关系，我再想办法…How's it going? 大家好吗？Good. 很好How's The Shining? “鬼店”好不好看？Danny just went into Room 217. 丹尼刚走进217号房The next part's the best! That dead lady in the bathtub 下面是最精彩的浴缸里的死女人…You're gonna ruin it! 这样就不好看了I'll talk in code. 我用密码说Remember when the kid sees those two "blanks" in the hallway? 记得小孩在走廊看到那两个“空白”吗？Yeah,that's very cool. 对，那里很好看All "blank" and no "blank" makes "blank" a "blank-blank." 所有的“空白”都把“空白”弄成“空白”No,the end! 不，讲结局Jack almost kills them with the "blank"... 杰克差点用“空白” 杀了他们... but in the last second, they get away. 不过到最后关头他们还是跑了I can't believe you just did that. 你居然做这种事I can't believe she cracked your code. 她居然识破你的密码Okay. Laurie proposes to Jo and she says no... 好，劳瑞跟乔求婚，她拒绝了...even though she's in love with him. Then he ends up marrying Amy. 虽然她其实爱着他他后来娶了爱美Mine was by accident! 我不是存心要讲的The boiler explodes and destroys the hotel and kills the dad. 锅炉爆炸，烧毁旅馆那个爸爸也被烧死了Beth dies. 贝丝死了Beth dies? 贝丝死了？Is that true? If I keep reading,is Beth gonna die? 真的吗？如果继续看下去贝丝就会死？No,Beth doesn't die. She doesn't die. Does she,Rachel? 不，贝丝不会死，她不会死对不对，瑞秋？He's asking if you've ruined... 他问的是你是不是破坏了...the first book he's ever loved that didn't star Jack Nicholson. 他喜欢的第一本不是由杰克尼克逊当主角的小说？No. She doesn't die. 不，她不会死Then why would you say that? 那你干嘛这么说？Because I wanted to hurt you. 因为我故意要伤害你Oh,there they are. I dropped my keys. 在这里，我的钥匙掉了Got them. 找到了Sorry. I'm sorry. 对不起，对不起You would not believe my day. 你一定不敢相信我今天有多惨I had to work two shifts. And then to top it off... 我上了两个班除此之外…... I lost one of my fake boobs in a grill fire. 我的义乳又被烤炉的火烧了What are you smiling at? 你在笑什么？I was thinking your day could still pick up. 我在想可能会柳暗花明又一村I love this "friend" thing! 我喜欢这种朋友关系Robert's gonna be here any second, so could one of you just tell him? 劳勃马上就要来了你们哪个人跟他说好吗？Please,right now. 拜托，马上说Every time I see him,it's "ls it on the loose? Is it watching me?" 我一见他就想“那玩意儿是不是晃来晃去看着我”We can't tell him. 我们不能跟他说You can't go up to a guy you barely know and talk about his "stuff." 你不能跟素昧平生的人谈他的“那话儿”He's right. Even if it's to say something complimentary. 他说得对就算是赞美也不行You ready for the gym? 可以去健身房了吗？There's a new rock-climbing wall. We can spot each other. 有一面新的攀岩墙我们可以互相侦查Yeah,I can spot you from here. 我从这里就可以侦查你What? 什么？Listen,Robert.... 听我说，劳勃Hey,don't we have to...? 我们不是要…Yeah,we got.... 对，我们要I think you're really,really great. 我觉得你这个人真的很棒Oh,God. Here we go again. 老天，又来了Why does this keep happening? Is it something I'm putting out there? 为什么老是发生这种事？我什么东西让你不高兴？Is this my fault? Or am I just nuts? 这是我的错吗？I don't know what to say. 我不知道该怎么说Hey,buddy? This is a family place. Put the mouse back in the house.老弟？这是阖家光临的地方把老鼠放回屋里去Really? It's just like everyone else's apartment. 真的？这间公寓很普通啊It's got rooms and walls and ceilings. 一样有房间、墙壁和天花板I just wanted to see where you live. Now give me the tour. 我只是想看看你住的地方带我参观参观Oh,my God! 我的天-This is the living room. -That's nice. 这里是客厅真舒适-And this is the kitchen. -That's real pretty. 这里是厨房真漂亮Wait a minute. Don't I get to see the bedroom? 等一下我不能参观卧室吗？Well,it's pretty much your typical... 这是很普通的…... bedroom. 卧室We're still on this side of the door. I didn't get to see it. 我们还在门的这一头我还没看到Oh,shoot. Maybe next time. Thanks for a lovely evening. 要命，下次吧今晚非常愉快So who is she? 她是谁？That was the blind date I told you about. 我跟你说过就是我妹妹介绍的人She called and switched it from Tuesday. 她打电话来改期到今天Did you like her? 你喜欢她吗？I'm just asking as a friend, because I am totally fine with this. 我是以朋友的身份问的因为我不会不高兴Well,you seem fine. 你看起来很高兴Okay,you know what? I'm not fine. I'm not. 好，你知道吗？我不高兴，我很不高兴I mean,how could I be fine? Hearing you come in with her. 我怎么高兴得起来？听到你跟她进来She wants to see your bedroom. 她还想参观你的卧室You know what? 你知道吗？What if we're friends... 我们或许可以做朋友…...who don't see other people? 但不跟其他人交往You mean "exclusive" friends? 你是说“专属的”朋友？Why not? 有何不可？I mean,this has been the most amazing week. 我是说，这个星期美好极了Would it be so terrible? 这也没什么不好吧Even if we were friends who lived together? 我们还可以一面做朋友一面住在一起Or maybe someday,friends who stood up in front of their other friends... 或许有一天可以站在其他朋友面前...and vowed to be friends forever. 发誓当一辈子的朋友You know,we're back where we were. 我们又回到原点了Honey,I would love to do all that, but nothing's changed. 亲爱的，我求之不得但一切都没有改变That's not true. You don't have a moustache. 不是这样的你把胡子刮掉了Okay,one thing's changed. 好吧，有一件事改变了But we still want different things, and we know how this is gonna end. 但我们生活目标仍不同我们都知道结局会怎么样You know what? 你知道吗？I gotta walk out of here right now. 我得马上离开这个房间Because getting over you is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. 因为忘记你是我一生中最不容易的一件事I don't think I could do it again. 我想我再也做不到了I know I couldn't. 我知道我做不到How about one last game of racquetball? 再打最后一场壁球怎么样？Watch the thorns! 小心玫瑰刺What? 怎么了？Beth is really,really sick. 贝丝病得很重很重Jo's there,but I don't think there's anything she can do. 乔在陪她但我想她也没办法You wanna put the book in the freezer? 你要把书放在冰库里吗？302 00:00:00,00 --> 00:00:00,00。
Hi!-Hey! -Hi!-How was the honeymoon? -Oh, incredible!Champagne, candle-lit dinners, moonlight walks on the beach.It was so romantic.-Where's Mike? -He's at the doctor.He didn't poop while we were there.Shoot, I wasn't supposed to tell you that.I mean.. Okay, he's at a gig.A gig we are definitely not going to.-I'm glad you're back. I need your help. -Oh, why, what's up?I have an audition for this play, and I have to speak French.. which, according to my resume, I'm fluent in.-Joey, you shouldn't lie on your resume. -Yeah, you really shouldn't. By the way, how was that yearlong dig in Cairo?It was okay.I did not know you spoke French.You're so sexy.-Well, so will you help me? -Sure.Seriously, stop it. I'm gonna jump on you.00:01:17,860 --> 00:01:18,830-Hey. -Hi.Why are you wearing my apron?I'm making cookies for Erica.We have to leave soon. Her plane comes in in about an hour. When she gets here, is it okay if I introduce you two as my wife..and the woman who's carrying my child?No?Divorce?-Hey. -Hey.-You know where Rachel is? -Haven't seen her since morning.It's unbelievable. She was supposed to meet me a half-hour ago with Emma. -Hey! -Hey!-These are for Erica! -She's gonna eat all those cookies?Well, I want the baby to come out all cute and fat!-So why is Erica coming to visit? -We wanna get to know her better.She's never been to New York, so she wants to see the tourist spots: Statue of Liberty, Empire State Building.There's always so many people, and they're being corralled like cattle. And, you know, there's always some idiot who goes, "Moo."Well, if it annoys you so much, then why do you do it?-You should take her to a museum. -Oh, please.So I can hear Chandler say over and over again:"You call this art? I could make that."It was a tower of sponges.Oh, hi. Hi. Thanks for showing up 30 minutes late.No, I'm sure you have a great excuse. What was it, a hair appointment?A mani-pedi? Was there a sale at Barneys?My father had a heart attack.While I was at Barneys.-Oh, my God, Rach. -Honey?-I'm so sorry. -Is he okay?Yeah, he's gonna be fine, but he's heavily sedated.Okay, I'm gonna go to Long Island with you.-I mean, you can't be alone right now. -No, come on, I'm totally okay.I don't need you to come.-I can totally handle this on my own. -Still, still, let me come for me. Okay. If you really need to.I bet someone could use one of Monica's freshly baked cookies. Oh, I really could.All right, it seems pretty simple.Your first line is, "My name is Claude."So just repeat after me.-Well, let's try it again. -Okay.It's not..quite what I'm saying.Really? Sounds exactly the same to me.-It does, really? -Yeah.-Let's just try it again. -Okay.-Really listen. -Got it.-Hey, you guys! -Hi.I want you to meet someone really special.Phoebe, this is Erica. And this is the baby!-Joey, Erica, baby. -Hi.Everyone, Erica! Baby!Monica. Calm. Self.-Hey, sit down. -Thank you.It's really nice to meet you guys. I can't believe I'm here.Well, welcome to New York City, or should I say:New York City.Why would you say that?Okay. What are you gonna be doing today?Well, I wanna see everything! Times Square, Coney Island, Rockefeller Center. You should walk to the top of the Statue of Liberty.-Oh, yeah, let's do that. -Great.This baby better be really good.Hi. Excuse me, I'm here to see my father. My name is Rachel Green.-And I'm Dr. Ross Geller. -Ross, please, this is a hospital.That actually means something here.-So can we please go in? -Absolutely.Rach, I think I'm gonna wait out here..because my throat is feeling a little scratchy. I don't wanna infect him.-Ross, please. Don't be so scared of him. -I am not scared of him. I'm really sick. -He's under sedation, so he's out. -I'm feeling better.Oh, my God.That ear and nose hair trimmer I got him was just money down the drain, huh? Ms. Green? Your father's doctor's on the phone if you'd like to speak to him. Oh, great. Are you gonna be okay?-He's unconscious. We'll be just fine. -Okay.-Did the TV wake you? -No.When you put your feet up on my bed, you tugged on my catheter.What are you doing here, Geller?Well, I came with Rachel, who should be back any second.-So, what's new? -Oh, I had a little heart attack.Right. Is it painful?What, the heart attack or sitting here talking to you?Let's see if we can get that Rachel back in here.So, what's new with you? Knocked up any more of my daughters lately? Nope. Just the one. Rach!Daddy, hi. You're awake.-How are you? -I'm okay.By the way, Ross has been of great comfort.They want to keep you here for a couple more nights.I know.But I'm gonna go home and get a bunch of your stuff..so that you're really comfortable.Oh, thank you, sweetheart.It's pretty ironic, huh?You being a heart surgeon, and you had a heart attack.It'd be like if I was eaten by an Allosaurus.I'm gonna wait outside."He's pretty much out."No!Okay, maybe if we just break it down.Okay, let's try it one syllable at a time. Okay, so repeat after me.Great! Okay, faster.-Okay, it's too hard. I can't teach you. -What are you doing?I have to go before I put your head through a wall.Don't go, I need you! My audition is tomorrow!Hey. I was gonna make us some dinner..but all I found in your dad's fridge was bacon and heavy cream.I think we solved the mystery of the heart attack.-Did you call your parents? -Oh, yeah. Emma's doing great.Oh, good.-What? -I just can't believe..I'm in Rachel Green's room.-You've been in my room before. -Yeah, sure, right.Like I'd ever be in Rachel Green's room.Okay, I gotta tell you, it's really weird when you use my whole name. Sorry.-You okay? -Yeah.-Yeah, you had a rough day. -Yeah.It's just so weird seeing him like that, you know? I mean, he's a doctor. You don't expect doctors to get sick.But we do.He's gonna be okay, Rach.I don't want him to wake up alone. I should go to the hospital.-What? No, no. Hey, hey, look. -What?They gave him a lot of medication.He wouldn't even know if you were there.We'll go see him first thing in the morning.-Really? I shouldn't feel guilty? -No.. God, hey.Rach, you've been an amazing daughter, okay?-Right now you need to get some rest. -Okay, maybe you're right. Good night.Wait, wait, wait.Would you stay here with me for a little while?-Sure. -Okay.-Thank you for coming with me today. -Oh, of course.Rachel Green is very happy you're in her room.Me too. Come here.I just don't wanna be alone tonight.Okay, well, I can maybe grab a sleeping bag or..No, Rach!I'm sorry, I just don't think this is a good idea.Well, we won't know that until we do it, will we?Look..You are upset about your father, and you're feeling vulnerable.. and I just don't feel it would be right.I feel like I'd be, you know, taking advantage of you.What..? Taking advantage? I am giving you the advantage. Enjoy! Look, I'm sure it would be great..but I think one of us has to be thinking clearly.So I'm gonna go.Okay.I'll see you in the morning.I haven't had sex in four months. I should get a medal for that! Thanks so much for taking me to all those places. I had a great time. I'm glad. Listen, I wanna apologize about Chandler, though.-I just did not see this coming. -New York is awesome!-What is with you? -I've been to these places before..but I've never really seen them.Yeah, you miss a lot when you're mooing.Let's go to a Broadway show. Cats!I think we've done enough.Honey, these are actors dressed like cats who sing like people.I mean, come on!-Thank you for showing me around. -Oh, it was our pleasure.We're so much enjoying getting to know you.Well, if there's anything else you wanna know..Okay.Can we ask you some questions about the father?Oh, sure. Yeah.Well, he was my high-school boyfriend, captain of the football team, really cute. -Got a scholarship and went to college. -That's great.Yeah, it's almost definitely him.How's that, now?Well, there's a chance it's another guy.I mean, I've only ever been with two guys..but they sort of overlapped.So, what does the other guy do?-Does he go to college too? -No, he's in prison.Was he falsely accused of something?No.He killed his father with a shovel.Other than that, he's a great guy.I'll bet his dad doesn't think so.-Are you awake? -Of course I'm awake.Assume from now on that I'm always awake.All right, we don't know that it's him. I mean, it could be the football guy. Honey, it's us. Of course it's the shovel killer.Well, all right, let's say that it is him.Would we not want the baby? No.-Would we treat him any differently? -I'd keep an eye on him.We have to find out who the father is.-How? -I don't know.-They have tests for these things, right? -Yes, but maybe we're just overreacting. Easy for you to say. He's a father killer.He probably loves his mommy.He's probably got a tattoo that says "Mom" on his shovel-wielding arm.We'll now count from one to five.-Good job. -Thank you.-Hey. -Hey, Joey.Listen, I feel really badly about yesterday, and I thought about it a lot.No, I was too impatient. So let's try it again.That's okay. I don't need your help.I worked on it myself, and I gotta say I am pretty good.-Really, can I hear some of it? -Sure, sure.Okay.See?You, you're not..You're not.. You're..Again, you're not speaking French!Oh, well, I think I am. Yeah, and I think I'm definitely gonna get the part.How could you possibly think that?The guy on the tape said I was doing a good job!Hey, Rach, can you grab me a cup of coffee?Sure.You've been quiet all morning. Is everything okay?-You sure you're all right? -Yep.Okay.Well, I'm gonna go grab us some breakfast.-FYI. -There it is.In the future..when a girl asks for some ill-advised sympathy sex, just do it.Wait, wait, you're mad at me about last night?-I was just trying to do the right thing. -Really?If you had done the right thing..I wouldn't have woken up feeling stupid and embarrassed.I would've woken up feeling comforted and satisfied.-Well.. -Oh, stop that!I can't believe this. I was just being a good guy.I treated you with respect and understanding.Oh, that is so hot.Hey, I was looking out for you.Oh, really? Well, you know what? I am a big girl.I don't need someone telling me what is best for me.I gotta say, I've not had sex a lot of times before. This is the worst ever! Oh, really? Really? Well, it wasn't very good for me either.Okay, you know..? Hey, hey, you know what?To avoid this little thing in the future..let's just say you and me? Never having sex again.-What? -That's right! Sex is off the table!I am never having sex with you again!Dr. Green, are you feeling better?-Hey. How was lunch? -We had a good time.By the way, I wanted to ask you something.It would really mean a lot to me if the baby was a boy..that you name him after my father..Jiminy Billy Bob.-Oh, really? -No!You were right. That was fun.I'm gonna go finish packing.-So is she gonna take the test? -No, she doesn't have to.-I found out who the father is. -Oh, God.-It's Shovely Joe, isn't it? -No, it's not.How do you know?Erica didn't pay attention in sex ed class..because the things she did with that prison guy?It'd be pretty hard to make a baby that way.Oh, God, what was it? The thing we hardly ever do, or the thing we never do? The thing we never do.Shovely Joe.-Whenever you're ready, Joey. -Right.-I'm sorry, what's going on? -Dude, come on, French it up.Joey, do you speak French?That's not French.Neither is that.You know what? I think this audition is over.Excuse me?I am Regine Phalange.I was passing by when I heard this man speaking..the regional dialect of my French town of Estee Lauder.You really think this man is speaking French?Good job, little buddy.That was some really good French.But I think we're gonna go with someone else for the part.-All right, but my French was good? -It was great.See?-Emma's down for the night. -Oh, good.-So I guess I'm gonna take off. -Okay.Hey, listen, just before you go..I just wanna say thank you for coming with me.Oh, no problem.And also, you know, I..I was thinking about what you said, you know, about the whole sex thing.. Probably not a great idea to go down that road again.Thank you. I'm glad you agree.It's a shame, though. When we did it, it was pretty good.Yeah.Yeah, that's true.Hey, do you remember that one really great time?-Oh, yeah! -You know?-It was Valentine's Day. -It was your birthday.-Oh, yeah. -Oh, yeah.Well, I guess that's all in the past now.-Not even one more time. -Not even once.-No matter how much we want it. -Even if we want it.. -really bad. -That's what we decided.Right.-It's kind of hard, though. You know? -Yeah.When two people have a connection, you know, that's.. Just seems like..such a..waste.I hate waste.-Ross? -Yes?Just so you know..with us..it's never off the table.Damn it, it's never off the table.-Okay, can you really tap-dance? -No.It's off the resume.-Archery? -No.-Horseback riding? -Would fall off a lot.You can drink a gallon of milk in 10 seconds?That I can do.Come on, you can drink a gallon of milk in 10 seconds?All right, watch me.-Okay, you time me, ready? -Ready, go! You did it!342。
