幽默英语_英语小幽默

英语幽默小笑话六篇frog 青蛙Frog The science teacher lecturing his class in biology said, "Now I'll show you this frog in my pocket." He then reached into his pocket and pulled out a chicken sandwich. He looked puzzled for a second, thought deeply, and said, "That's funny. I distinctly remember eating my lunch."老师正在给学生上生物课：“现在，我将要给你们看我袋子里的这只青蛙。

”接着，他把手伸进口袋，却拿出了一份鸡肉三文治。

老师满脸困惑地看了一眼，沉思了一会儿，说道：“真奇怪。

我明明记得我已经把午饭吃掉了。

”人们什么时候说话最少？Teacher: What is the plural of man,Tom?老师: 汤姆，“男人”这个词的复数形式是什么?Tom: Men.汤姆:男人们。

Teacher: Good. And the plural of child?老师: 答得好。

那“孩子”的复数形式呢?Tom : Twins.汤姆: 双胞胎。

谁欠谁钱A lawyer's dog, running about unleashed, beelines for a butcher shop and steals a roast. Butcher goes to lawyer's office and asks, "If a dog running unleashed steals a piece of meat from my store, do I have a right to demand payment for the meat from the dog's owner?" The lawyer answers, "Absolutely." "Then you owe me $8.50. Your dog was loose and stole a roast from me today." The lawyer, without a word, writes the butcher a check for $8.50. Several days later, the butcher opens the mail and finds an envelope from the lawyer: $250 due for a consultation.律师的狗，没有拴而到处闲逛，它来到一家肉店，偷走了一块烤肉。

英语幽默笑话大全下面是留学网整理的3则英语幽默笑话，希望对你有用。

更多资料尽在留学网。

1、The Fish NetCan you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?A lot of little holes tied together with strings. replied the littlegirl.鱼网你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安?老师发问道。

把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。

小女孩回答道。

2、The New TeacherGeorge comes from school on the first of September.George,how did you like your new teacher? asked his mother.I didn t like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were sixand then she said that two and four were six too.....新老师9月1日，乔治放学回到家里。

乔治，你喜欢你们的新老师吗?妈妈问。

妈妈，我不喜欢，因为她说3加3得6, 可后来又说2加4也得6。

3、《狗住旅店》一个人给一家他计划在假期里停留的小旅馆写了封信，“我非常希望带着我的狗，它很干净很有教养，你能允许它和我睡一间屋子吗?”旅馆主人立即回了封信，“我经营旅馆很多年了，狗从没偷过毛巾，床单，餐具，或者墙上的画。

我也从没有在半夜因为狗喝醉胡闹而赶走它，狗也从不不付帐就跑掉。

实际上我们非常欢迎您的狗来我们旅馆，如果它为您担保，也欢迎您来。

A man wrote a letter to a small hotel he planned to visit on his vacation:I would very much like to bring my dog with me. He is well-groomed and verywell behaved.Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in myroom with me atnight? An immediate reply came from the hotel owner, who said,I ve been operating this hotel for many years. In all that time, I venever had a dog steal towels, bedclothes, silverware or pictures off the walls.I ve never had to evict a dog in the middle of the night for being drunk anddisorderly. And I ve never had a dog run out on a hotel bill. Yes, indeed, yourdog is welcome at my hotel. And, if your dog will vouch for you, you re welcometo stay here, too.。

英语爆笑小笑话12篇下面是店铺整理的英语爆笑小笑话，希望大家会喜欢!英语爆笑小笑话：智力缺陷"Would you mind telling me, Doctor," Bob asked, "how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?" "Nothing is easier," he replied, "You ask him a simple question which everyone should answer with no trouble. If he hesitates, that puts you on the track." "Well, what sort of question?" "Well, you might ask him, 'Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?' " Bob thought for a moment, and then said with a nervous laugh, "You wouldn't happen to have another example would you? I must confess I don't know much about history."“医生，你能不能告诉我，”鲍勃问，“对于一个看上去很正常的人，你是怎样判断出他有智力缺陷的呢?”“再没有比这容易的了，”医生回答，“问他一个简单的问题，简单到所有人都知道答案，如果他回答得不干脆，那你就知道是怎么回事了。

幽默英语口语笑话大全英语笑话是很有用的，小编今天就给大家带来了英语的笑话，有时间的可以多多看看，大家一起学习一下吧英语笑话一“I am sorry”。

“I am sorry，too” 外国人回答。

“I am sorry three” 我道。

“What are you sorry for?” 外国人问。

“I am sorry five” 我说……男：Can I buy you a drink?(我可以为你买一杯饮料吗?)女：Actually I''d rather have the money.(不必，我我宁愿留下那些钱。

)英语笑话二男：Will you go out with me this Saturday?(这个星期六你想跟我出去吗?)女：Sorry. I''m having a headache this weekend.(抱歉。

这个周末我头疼。

)男：Can I have your name?(直译：我能有你的名字吗?)女：Why? Don''t you already have one? (为什么?你不是已经有一个了吗?)英语笑话三男：I think I could make you very happy.(我想我能让你非常快乐。

)女：Why? Are you leaving?(是吗?你是说你要离开?)1. TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.GEORGE: Here it is!TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?CLASS: George!2. TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I".ELLEN: I is...TEACHER: No, Ellen. We always say, "I am."ELLEN: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."3. TEACHER: If I had seven oranges in one hand and eight oranges in the other, what would I have?CLASS: Big hands!4. TEACHER: Didn't you promise to behave?STUDENT: Yes, Sir.TEACHER: And didn't I promise to punish you if you didn't?STUDENT: Yes, Sir, but since I broke my promise, I don't expect you to keep yours.5. TEACHER: In this box, I have a 10-feet snake.SAMMY: You can't fool me, Teacher... snakes don't have feet.On thebeach 沙滩上有趣的对话 A man was sunbathing naked at the beach. 一男于沙滩上裸晒。

幽默的英语名词
幽默的英语：humorous
英['hjuːmərəs] 美['hjuːmərəs]
adj. 幽默的；诙谐的
词汇搭配：
1、humorous kid 幽默的小子
2、Humorous Pics 幽默影像
3、humorous ads 幽默广告
4、Humorous pictures 幽默图片
常见句型：
1、This is a humorous novel.
这是一部幽默小说。

2、He is a very kindly and rather humorous man.
他是一个十分善良和充满幽默感的人。

3、He is very humorous.
他非常幽默。

4、The play was so humorous that the audience laughed all through it.
这个剧是如此的幽默以至于观众一直笑。

扩展资料：
词义辨析
humorous,amusing,comical,funny,ridiculous这几个词都可表示“引人发笑的”。

其区别是：1、amusing表示“逗笑的，令人开心的”；
2、funny表示“可笑的，滑稽的”，语意比amusing强，在口语中，还有“不可理解”的意思；
3、comical表示“喜剧性的，令人捧腹的”，只用于人的表情、行为或某一局面等，很少用来指具体事物；
4、humorous表示“幽默的”，指有意识地产生一种轻松可笑的效果；
5、ridiculous表示“荒谬的，愚蠢的”，有时可引申为“令人发笑的”，具有鄙视的意味。

英语幽默小笑话100个笑话是一种能够带给人快乐，平添生活乐趣的文凭形式，以其机智、幽默、搞笑的特点，深受人们喜爱。

英语幽默小笑话就是一种给人带来快乐的黑色幽默渐层，也是美国人的一大特色文化。

以下是100个英语幽默小笑话：1、A: What did the fish say when it hit the wall?B: Dam!2、Q: What did the policeman say to his belly?A: Freeze!3、Q: Where do you find a dog with no legs?A: Right where you left it.4、Q: What did the tie say to the hat?A: You go on a head, and I hang around.5、Q: Why did the vampire go to the orthodontist?A: He wanted to improve his bite.6、Q: What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?A: Dam!7、Q: What did the tree say to autumn?A: Leaf me alone.8、Q: What did the paper say to the pencil?A: Write on me!9、Q: What did the monster say when he swallowed a clown?A: You taste funny.10、Q: Why don scientists trust atoms?A: Because they make up everything.11、Q: How do you make a tissue dance?A: You put a little boogie in it.12、Q: What do you call a bear with no teeth?A: A gummy bear.13、Q: What did the elephant say to the birthday cake? A: Nothing, it just gave it a big hug.14、Q: Why don vampires like going to parties?A: They don like to get sucked into conversations.15、Q: What did the bee say when it hit the window?A: Oh, buzz off!16、Q: Why did the scarecrow get promoted?A: Because he was outstanding in his field.17、Q: What did the barrel say to the other barrel?A: We can stand each other!18、Q: How do you make a hoodie laugh?A: Tell it a joke hoodie-style.19、Q: What did the duck say when he bought lipstick? A: Put it on my bill.20、Q: What do you call a bear with no teeth?A: A gummy bear.21、Q: why don astronauts play cards in space?A: Because they float away!22、Q: How do you make an octopus laugh?A: With ten-tickles.23、Q: What did the sheep say to the shepherd?A: Nothing, it just baa-ed.24、Q: What did the judge say when the skunk walked into the courtroom?A: Odor in the court!25、Q: What did the calculator say to the math book?A: You can count on me!26、Q: What did the helium balloon say to the air?A: Nothing, it just let out a little squeak.27、Q: What did the computer say when it crashed?A: Hey, I having a bad day!28、Q: What did the 0 say to the 8?A: Nice belt!29、Q: What did the paperclip say to the magnet?A: I find you very attractive.30、Q: What did the silverware say to the plate?A: You complete me!31、Q: What did the pirate say when he turned 80?A: Aye matey!32、Q: What did the light bulb say to the switch?A: You turn me on!33、Q: What did the big chimney say to the small chimney? A: You too young to smoke!34、Q: What did the clock say to the other clock?A: Don worry, I right behind you.35、Q: What did the bee say to the flower?A: I here to pollenate!36、Q: What did the teacher say to the pencil?A: You looking sharp!37、Q: What did the hamburger say to the hotdog?A: We make a great pair!38、Q: What did the rain say to the dirt?A: Let go make some mud pies!39、Q: What did the calculator say to the math book?A: You can count on me!40、Q: What did the fish say when it hit the wall?A: Dam!41、Q: What did the elephant say to the birthday cake? A: Nothing, it just gave it a big hug!42、Q: What did the cowboy say when he lost his horse? A: Howdy, saddle-less!43、Q: What did the alien say to the dad?A: Take me to your leader!44、Q: What did the hurricane say to the palm tree?A: Hold on to your leaves!45、Q: What did the bee say to the flower?A: I here to pollenate!46、Q: What did the carrot say to the rabbit?A: Let go for a hop!47、Q: What did the teacher say to the pencil?A: You looking sharp!48、Q: What did the rock say to the cliff?A: Hang in there!49、Q: What did the letter say to the envelope?A: Let stick together!50、Q: What did the mama bee say to her lazy bee?A: Wake up and Bee productive!51、Q: What did the cowboy say when he lost his horse? A: Howdy, saddle-less!52、Q: What did the egg say to the frying pan?A: You crack me up!53、Q: What did the key say to the lock?A: It so nice to see you again!54、Q: What did the snail say to the turtle?A: Hurry up!55、Q: What did the cowboy say to the cactus?A: How it hanging?56、Q: What did the doctor say to the patient?A: Take two aspirin and call me in the morning.57、Q: What did the bicycle say to the car?A: You may be faster, but I more fun!58、Q: What did the two antennas say to each other? A: You look good, girl!59、Q: What did the octopus say to the philosopher? A: I think, therefore I am eight!60、Q: What did the big hand say to the little hand? A: Let get to work!61、Q: What did the tomato say to the other tomato? A: You looking a little red today.62、Q: What did the duck say to the waiter?A: Put it on my bill.63、Q: What did the bee say to the flower?A: I here to pollenate!A: Bee yourself!65、Q: What did the bird say to the worm?A: Worm your way out!66、Q: What did the fish say to the whale?A: You a big fish in a small pond.67、Q: What did the paper say to the pencil?A: Write on me!68、Q: What did the teapot say to the cup?A: Time for a cup of tea!69、Q: What did the bee say to the flower?A: Buzz off!70、Q: What did the noodle say to the other noodle? A: Let have a pasta party!71、Q: What did the alarm clock say to the bed?A: Time to wake up!72、Q: What did the tree say to the wind?A: Leaf me alone!73、Q: What did the tree say to the other tree?A: What a re-leaf!74、Q: What did the fish say when it hit the wall? A: Dam!A: You looking sharp!76、Q: What did the calculator say to the math book?A: Let work it out!77、Q: What did the bird say to the worm?A: Wanna come out and play?78、Q: What did the elephant say to the mouse?A: You so tiny!79、Q: What did the bee say to the other bee?A: Let make honey!80、Q: What did the bee say to the flower?A: Smell me!81、Q: What did the frog say to the fly?A: Time for dinner!82、Q: What did the pizza say to the oven?A: Let get cooking!83、Q: What did the fish say when it saw a boat?A: That a big hook!84、Q: What did the elephant say when he saw the mouse? A: That tiny!85、Q: What did the skeleton say to the other skeleton? A: We have a lot in common!86、Q: What did the ball say to the other ball?A: Let play catch!87、Q: What did the bee say to the flower?A: Bee mine!88、Q: What did the ice cream cone say to the other ice cream cone?A: Let have a scoop!89、Q: What did the tree say to the axe?A: Chop chop!90、Q: What did the pencil say to the eraser?A: Let work it out!91、Q: What did the horse say when it tripped?A: Neigh!92、Q: What did the scarecrow say when it got promoted? A: I outstanding in my field!93、Q: What did the pelican say to the other pelican? A: Let go for a dive!94、Q: What did the bee say to the other bee?A: Hey, bee-friend!95、Q: What did the bee say to the flower?A: Let make honey!96、Q: What did the lightbulb say to the switch?A: You turn me on!97、Q: What did the firefly say to the other firefly? A: Let light up the night!98、Q: What did the bee say to the flower?A: Smell me!99、Q: What did the spider say to the fly?A: You in my web now!100、Q: What did the bee say to the beekeeper?A: Let me out of this hive!从上述100个英语幽默小笑话可以看出，英语幽默小笑话涵盖了生活中的各种场景，不论是小动物、植物、机械还是自然现象，都能以机智、幽默、搞笑的方式进行描述。

英语幽默笑话（优秀10篇）英国人有他们独特的英式幽默，他们流传的英语冷笑话让人会心一笑，今天，小编给同学们收集、整理了几则特别有趣的英语冷笑话，希望大家能开心开心，一起来看看吧! 篇一一、The little girl did not like the look of the barking dog.It#39;s all right, said a gentleman, don#39;t be afraid. Don#39;t you know the proverb: Barking dogs don#39;t bite?Ah, yes, answered the little girl. I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?一个小女孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。

“没有关系，”一位先生说，“不用害怕，你知道这条谚语吗：吠狗不咬人。

;”“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道吗？”二、One student to another: How are your English lessons coming along?Fine. I used to be one who couldn#39;t understand the English men, and now it#39;s the English men who can#39;t understand me.一位学生对另一位说：“你的英语最近学的怎么样？”“很好，我过去不懂英国人说话，可现在是英国人不懂我的话了。

”三、An old lady who was very deaf and who thought everything too dear, went into a shop and asked the shopman:#39; How much this stuff?#39;#39;Seven dollars, Madam, it is very cheap.#39;The lady said, #39;It is too much, give it to me for fourteen.#39;#39;I did not say seventeen dollars, but seven.#39;#39;It is still too much,#39; replie()d the old lady, #39;give it to me for five.#39;一位耳聋并且总是嫌东西太贵的老太太走进一家商店。

幽默英语小笑话10则1、Sleeping PillsBob was having trouble getting to sleep at night. He went to see his doctor, who prescribed some extra-strong sleeping pills.Sunday night Bob took the pills, slept well and was awake before he heard the alarm. He took his time getting to the office, strolled in and said to his boss: "I didn't have a bit of trouble getting up this morning.""That's fine," roared the boss, "but where were you Monday and Tuesday?"安眠药鲍勃晚上失眠。

他去看医生，医生给他开了一些强力安眠药。

星期天晚上鲍勃吃了药，睡得很好，在闹钟响之前就醒了过来。

他到了办公室，遛达进去，对老板说："我今天早上起床一点麻烦都没有。

""好啊!"老板吼道，"那你星期一和星期二到哪儿去了?"2、DrunkOne day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk.""But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"醉酒一天，父亲与小儿子一块儿回家。

英语幽默短笑话10篇英语幽默短笑话1.Mike:Mum,I want to watch TV.Mum:There is no electricity tonight.Mike:Then let's watch TVwith a candie on.迈克：妈妈，我想看电视。

妈妈：今晚停电了。

迈克：那我们就点着蜡烛看吧。

英语幽默短笑话2.The Fish Net"Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?""A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl."你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安?" 老师发问道。

"把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。

" 小女孩回答道。

英语幽默短笑话3.Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?""I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered."You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?""She is the one who sells the candy."小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。

“昨天给你的钱干什么了?”“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。

“你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。

幽默的英语笑话以下是六个幽默的英语笑话及翻译：1. Why is the doctor so angry? （为什么医生那么生气？）Because he has no patience.（因为他没有耐心呀。

）笑点：耐心=patience，病人（复数形式）=patients，两个词读音相似，一语双关。

2. What is the longest word in the English language?（英语里最长的单词是？)Smiles. Because there is a mile between its first and last letters.（Smiles，因为它的首尾字母之间隔了一英里那么长。

)笑点：翻译时需要保留smiles，因为中文不分单复数，这里规避了字面意义上的最长，而是利用了单词mile 的含义。

3. What do you call a deer with no eyes?（你把没有眼睛的鹿叫做什么？）No idea.（不知道。

）笑点：deer 和idea 读音相似，这里是谐音梗。

4. Two cats are on a roof. Which one slides off first?（两只猫在屋顶上，哪只先滑下来？）The one with the smaller mew!（叫声更小的那只！）笑点：mew 是猫叫的拟声词，这里也可以理解为mu（摩擦系数），根据物理定律，摩擦系数越小，物体越容易滑动。

5. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?（当你把一个雪人跟一个吸血鬼结合起来，会得到什么？）Frostbite.（霜冻。

）笑点：frostbite 有霜冻和冻伤的意思，这里是双关。

6. What's the best thing to put into a pie?（什么东西放在馅饼里最好？）Your teeth.（你的牙齿。

英语幽默笑话7篇笑话是一种经过艺术加工的语言形式,是艺术化的语言，笑话是一种艺术方法，用这种方法造成以笑为艺术手段的文学艺术作品。

下面是店铺整理的英语幽默笑话6篇，欢迎大家阅读!英语笑话一：Is he dying?A man was sitting in a bar with tears streaming down his face.A friend walked in and asked why he was so unhappy. The weeping one said, The doctor has just told me I'll have to take these tablets for the rest of my life.Cheerfully, his friend pointed out that many people have to take tablets every day of their life. Sure, came the reply, but he only gave me ten.一个男人坐在酒吧里痛哭流泪。

一个朋友走进来问他为何如此伤心。

那人哭着说：刚才医生告诉我，在我的余生里都要吃这些药片。

他的朋友很轻松地指出，许多人一辈子每天都要吃药。

当然，男人回答说：但是他只给了我十片。

英语笑话二：The blonde and the farmerThere was a blonde that was so sick of blonde jokes she died her hair red. The jokes stopped and she felt so good, she took a ride in the country one Saturday afternoon. While on this ride, she noticed a flock of sheep and stopped the car to take&n......。

幽默英语小笑话12篇下面是店铺整理的幽默英语小笑话，希望大家会喜欢!幽默英语小笑话：The MonkeyA man walks into a bar and orders a beer. He takes his first sip and sets it down. While he is looking around the bar, a monkey swings down and steals the pint of beer from him before he is able to stop the monkey.The man asks the barman who owns the monkey. The barman replies the piano player. The man walks over to the piano player and says "Do you know your monkey stole my beer." The pianist replies "No, but if you hum it, I'll play it."一男子去酒吧，点了一杯啤酒。

他喝了一口放下。

当他环视酒吧时，发现一只猴子荡下来，在他阻止之前，偷走了啤酒。

该男子问酒吧招待，这只猴子是谁的。

服务员回答说是钢琴手的。

男子走到钢琴手面前问：“你知道你的猴子偷了我的啤酒吗?”钢琴手回答说：“没有，但是如果你能哼唱，我会为你演奏的。

”幽默英语小笑话：绝配A wealthy matron is so proud of a valuable antique vase that she decides to have her bedroom painted the same color as the vase. Several painters try to match the shade, but none comes close enough to satisfy the eccentric woman.Eventually, a painter approaches who is confident he can mix the proper color. The woman is pleased with the result, and the painter becomes famous.Years later, he retires and turns the business over to his son."Dad, “says the son, there’s something I’ve got to know. How did you get those walls to match the vase so perfectly?""Son”, the father replies, I painted the vase."一个富有的主妇很是骄傲因为她收藏了一件非常有价值的古董花瓶，于是她决定把卧室粉刷成与花瓶同样的颜色。

小孩子之间的英语幽默笑话1. Betty:"I fell last night, unconscious for eight hours."贝蒂：“我昨晚摔了一跤，昏迷了8个小时。

”Hetty:"How dreadful! Where did you fall?"赫蒂：“真可怕！你在哪里摔的？”Betty:"I fell asleep."贝蒂：“我是在睡梦中。

”2. Tommy:"Are flies good to eat?"汤米：“苍蝇好吃吗？”Dad:"I don't think so. Why do you ask?"爸爸：“我想不好吃。

你为什么这样问？”Tommy:"There was one in your pie."汤米：“刚刚你的馅饼里面有一只。

”3. Mother:"Why were you kept after school today, Johnny?"妈妈：“今天放学后，你为什么要被留下来，约翰尼？”Johnny:"Teacher told us to write an essay on 'The Result of Laziness', and I turned in an blank sheet of paper."约翰尼：“老师让我们写一篇《懒惰的后果》，我交了一张白纸。

”4. I was putting cream on my face when my little girl asked what I was doing. I explained that it was good for wrinkles.我向脸上抹面霜时，小女儿问我在干什么。

我解释说这种面霜对皱纹有好处。

"It's sure doing a great job, mommy," she replied."You are getting more of them."她答复说：“妈妈，它肯定很管用。