史上最神级爆笑英语翻译

英文笑话带翻译爆笑近些年,冷笑话作为一种特殊的幽默方式在互联网、电视节目、书籍杂志上广泛流传。

下面是学习啦小编精心收集的爆笑英文笑话带翻译，希望大家喜欢!爆笑英文笑话带翻译篇一I n a d a r k e s t n i g h t,ap o l i c e m a n w a t c h e s a s t a g g e r i n g m a n t r y i n g i n v a i n t o u n l o c k a d o o r. I s t h i s y o u r h o m e? t h e p o l i c e m a n a s k s.S u r e, I l l p r o v e i t t o y o u i f y o u h e l p m e. I n s i d e, t h e m a n e x p l a i n s, Y o u s e e, t h i s i s m y b e d r o o m. A n d t h i s i s m y w i f e.A n d w h o i s t h e m a n n e x t t o h e r?t h e p o l i c e m a n w a n t s t o k n o w.T h a t s m e!在一个漆黑的夜晚，一名警察看到一个醉醺醺的男人怎么也打不开门。

这是你家吗?警察问。

当然，如果你帮我，我将证明给你看。

走进屋里，那人说：你瞧，这是我的卧室，这是我太太。

那她身边的男人是谁?警察想知道。

那是我啊!爆笑英文笑话带翻译篇二T h e m a n a g e r o f a s h o p w a s y e l l i n g a t o n e o f h i s s t a f f.I s a w y o u a r g u i n g w i t h a c u s t o m e r,h e s a i dc r o s s l y. W i l l y o u p l e a s e r e m e m b e r t h a t i n m y s h o p t h e c u s t o m e r i s a l w a y s r i g h t?D o y o u u nde r s t a n d? Y e s,s i r,s a i d t h e a s s i s t a n t.T h e c u s t o m e r i s a l w a y s r i g h t.N o w w h a t w e r e y o u a r g u i n g a b o u t?W e l l s i r,h e s a i d y o u w e r e a n i d i o t.商店的经理正在训斥一名员工。

关于爆笑的英语笑话带翻译精选关于爆笑的英语笑话带翻译精选笑话几乎涵盖人们生活的所有领域,其中包括政治笑话、经济笑话、家庭生活笑话、关于民族性格的笑话等。

本文是关于爆笑的英语笑话带翻译，希望对大家有帮助!关于爆笑的英语笑话带翻译：给我捎杯牛奶At 2 a. m. Mrs. Culkin was convinced that she had heard a prowler in the living-room. Tiptoedown-stairs, she told her husband, "Don' t turn on the lights. Sneak up him before he knowswhat's happening."Dutifully Mr. Culkin put on his robe. Just as he reached the bedroom door,his wife added, "And when you come back, bring me a glass of milk."半夜两点，科尔肯太太确信听到客厅有贼，便对丈夫说：“别开灯，蹑手蹑脚下楼，别让贼发觉，悄悄靠近他。

” 科尔肯先生披上外套，责无旁贷地去捉贼。

刚走到卧室门口，他妻子又补充说：“回来时给我捎杯牛奶。

”关于爆笑的英语笑话带翻译：婚姻的成本A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"And the fatherreplied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying."一个小男孩问他的父亲，“爸爸，要花多少钱才能结婚呢?”“我也不知道，我现在还在交钱。

爆笑英文笑话带翻译爆笑英文笑话带翻译生活中烦心的琐事总是有的，你会有时不愉快，那你就来看笑话吧，开心一笑，烦心事就会溜走了。

以下是爆笑英文笑话带翻译，欢迎阅览!1.One day a visitor from the city came to a small rural area to drive around the country roads, see how the farms looked, and perhaps to see how farmers earned their living. The city man saw a farmer in his yard, holding a pig up in his hands, and lifting it so that the pig could eat apples from an apple tree. The city man said to the farmer," I see that your pig likes apples, but isn"t that quite a waste of time?" The farmer replied," What"s time to a pig?"一天，有一个城市里的游客来到一个小乡村，在乡间路上开着车，想看看农庄是什么样子，也想看看农夫怎样种田过日子。

这位城里人看见一位农夫在宅后的草地上，手中抱着一头猪，并把它举得高高的`，好让它能够吃到树上的苹果。

城里人对农夫说，"我看你的猪挺喜欢吃苹果的，但是，这不是很浪费时间吗?"那位农夫回答说，"时间对猪有什么意义?"2.a kiss At a dinner party, the speaker, who was the guest of honor, was about to deliver a speech when his wife sitting at the other end of the table, sent him a piece of paper with the word "KISS" scribbled on it. The guest seated next to the speaker said, "Your wife must love you very much, I see her send you a 'KISS' before you begin your speech." The speaker smiled and explained, "You don't know my wife. The 'KISS' she give me stands for 'Keep It Short, Stupid.'"3.The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have aparty.Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment,he said,"Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow.When the door open,push with your foot.""Why use my elbow and foot?""Well,gosh," was the reply,"You're not coming empty-hangded,are you?吝啬鬼请客一个出了名的吝啬鬼终于决定要请一次客了.他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说：“你上到五楼,找中间那个门,然后用你的胳膊肘按门铃.门开了之后,再用你的脚把门推开.”“为什么要用我的肘和脚呢?”“你的双手得拿礼物啊.天哪,你总不会空着手来吧?”吝啬鬼回答.I think that I'm a chickenPsychiatrist:What's your problem?Patient:I think I'm a chicken.Psychiatrist:How long has this been going on?Patient:Ever since I was an egg!精神病医师：你哪里不舒服?病人：我认为我是一只鸡.精神病医师：这种情况从什么时候开始的?病人：从我还是一只蛋的时候开始.4.Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?A lot of little holes tied together with strings. replied the little girl.你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安? 老师发问道。

爆笑英语笑话带翻译爆笑英语笑话带翻译冷笑话是近几年出现的一个新词,也是一种出现在我们身边的不可忽视的新的语言现象,它具有强大的生命力,一时间大红大紫。

店铺精心收集了爆笑英语笑话带翻译，供大家欣赏学习!爆笑英语笑话带翻译篇1A school report学校成绩单The father was reading the school report which had just been handed to him by his hopeful son. His brow was wrathful(愤怒的) as he read,父亲在看他那满怀希望的儿子带回来的学校成绩单。

他边看边露出愤怒的表情："English, poor. French, weak. mathematics, fair." and he gave a glance of disgust at the quaking lad(少年，小伙子).“英语，差;法语，差;数学，中。

”他厌恶地瞥了在发抖的儿子一眼。

"Well, Dad." said the son, "It is not as good as it might be, but have you seen that?" And he pointed to the next line which read, "health, excellent."“爸爸，”儿子说，“可能成绩不够理想。

但您看到那一项了吗?”他指了指下一行：“健康状况，优。

”爆笑英语笑话带翻译篇2A Smart Parrot聪明的鹦鹉A curious guy goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. There he sees a parrot with a red string tied to its left leg and a green string tied to it's right leg. He asks the owner the significance of the strings1. "Well, this is a highly trained parrot. If you pull the redstring he speaks French; if you pull the green string he speaks German," replies the shop keeper.有个人去宠物店买鹦鹉。

英语幽默笑话集锦及翻译上世纪90年代,随着苏联解体,社会紧张气氛的缓解,各种笑话集如雨后春笋般冒出,受到俄国草根民众热捧。

下面是店铺带来的英语幽默笑话集锦及翻译，欢迎阅读!英语幽默笑话集锦及翻译精选婚姻就是这么一回事This is marriage all aboutMy wife-to-be and I were at the county clerk's office for our marriage license. After recording the vital information — names, dates of birth, etc. —the clerk handed me our license and deadpanned, "No refunds, no exchanges, no warranties."婚姻就是这么一回事我和未婚妻在县办公室领结婚证。

在记录完重要信息——名字，出生日期，等后——办事员递给我结婚证，脸无表情地说，“不退钱，不包换，不保修。

”英语幽默笑话集锦及翻译阅读承诺的结果 The consequencesFather: I promised to buy you a car if you passed your examination, and you have failed. Whatwere you doing last term?父亲：我曾向你许诺，如果你考试及格就给你买俩小汽车，可你却未能做到。

你上学期一直在干什么呀?Son: I was learning to drive a car.儿子：我在学开汽车。

英语幽默笑话集锦及翻译学习什么都有,你要买什么?A store manager heard a clerk tell a customer. No, ma'am, we haven't had any for a while, and itdoesn't look as if we'll be getting soon.一个商店经理听见一个店员对顾客说：不，夫人，这会儿没有，一时半会儿看来也不会有。

爆笑英文小笑话带翻译笑话,顾名思义,是一种通过幽默的文字或图示来达到令人会心一笑或捧腹大笑效果的文学形式。

店铺分享爆笑英文小笑话带翻译，希望可以帮助大家!爆笑英文小笑话带翻译：An Advertisement for Modern Bicycle Tom saw an advertisement in a newspaper for a beautiful modern bicycle which cost £50, so he went to the shop to have a look. After examining the bicycle carefully, Tom turned to the shopkeeper and said, "There isn't a lamp on this bicycle, but there was one on the bicycle in your advertisement." "Yes, sir," answered the shopkeeper, "but the lamp isn't included in the price of the bicycle. It's an extra." "Not included in the price of bicycle?" T om said angrily, "But that's not honest. If the lamp's in the advertisement, it should have been included in the price you gave there." "Well, sir," answered the shopkeeper calmly, "there is also a girl on the bicycle in our advertisement, shall we supply one for you too?"摩登自行车广告汤姆在报纸上看到一辆很漂亮的摩登自行车的广告，标价50英镑，于是他到商店去看一看。

搞笑的英语笑话带翻译精选笑话是幽默的一个属概念,具有幽默的一切特征。

笑话是民族特有幽默的一种形式。

店铺分享搞笑的英语笑话带翻译，希望可以帮助大家!搞笑的英语笑话带翻译：Big HandsTeacher: If I had seven oranges in one hand and eight oranges in the other, what would I have?Student: Big hands.大手老师：如果我左手有7个橙子，右手有8个橙子，那么我有什么?学生：一双大手。

搞笑的英语笑话带翻译：What soldiers?Wife: Dear! Take a look at those soldiers gawking at the lovely young girl passing by.Husband: Soldiers? What soldiers?什么士兵?妻子：亲爱的!快看那些士兵，他们看经过的那位漂亮女郎都看得发呆了。

丈夫：士兵?什么士兵?搞笑的英语笑话带翻译：Five Hundred TimesIn the traffic court of a large mid-western city, a young lady was brought before the judge to answer a ticket given her for driving through a red light. She explained to his honor that she was a school teacher and requested an immediate disposal of her case in order that she might hasten on to her classes. A wild gleam came into the judge's eye. "You are a school teacher, eh?" said he. "Madam, I shall realize my lifelong ambition. Sit down at that table and write 'I went through a red light' five hundred times."五百遍在中西部一个大城市的交通法庭里，一位年轻女士被带到法官面前，她由于开车闯红灯被开了罚单。

爆笑的英语笑话带翻译欣赏笑话是民族文化不可或缺的一部分。

透过笑话我们可以看到一个民族的生存环境、生活方式、社会关系和心理特征等等。

店铺整理了爆笑的英语笑话带翻译，欢迎阅读!爆笑的英语笑话带翻译：My Boss and IWhen I take a long time, I am slow. When my boss takes a long time, he is thorough. When I don't do it, I am lazy. When my boss doesn't do it, he is too busy. When I do something without being told, I am trying to be smart. When my boss does the same, that is initiative. When I please my boss, I am ass-kissing. When my boss pleases his boss, he is co-operating. I do good, my boss never remembers. When I do wrong, he never forgets.老板和我我做事情花了长时间，是效率低; 老板做事情花了长时间，是深思熟虑。

我没有做完事情，是懒惰; 老板没有做完事情，是太繁忙。

没有人告诉我的事情我做了，是自作聪明; 老板做了同样的事情，是首创。

我取悦老板，是献媚; 老板取悦他的老板，是合作。

我干得好，老板从来不会想起; 我干得不好，老板从来不会忘记。

爆笑的英语笑话带翻译：Guns Buried in the GardenAn old man lived alone in Northern Ireland. His only son was in prison. The old man wanted to plant some potatoes in his garden but he didn't know anyone who would help him plow up the garden.He wrote to his son about it, and received this reply, "For HEAVENS SAKE, don't dig up that garden, that's where I buried the GUNS!"At 4 AM the next morning, a dozen British soldiers showed up and dug up the entire garden, but didn't find any guns.Confused, the man wrote to his son telling him whathappened and asking him what to do next.His son's reply was: "Just plant your potatoes."埋在花园里的枪一个老人独居在北爱尔兰，他的独生子正在坐牢。

20个神级翻译让你无法反驳据360教育集团介绍：1.I never change whatever U change电流不随电压改变而改变，当时就把这句话死死的记住了。

2.If you think you can, you can.如果你认为你是个罐头，你就是个罐头。

3.One apple a day,keep the doctor away.每天听一遍小苹果，医生都不敢治我。

4.You are the apple of my eye.腻是窝的小丫小苹果~~5.An apple everyday keeps a doctor awayNO.1 原始版本。

一天一苹果，医生远离我~NO.2 进击版本。

一天一个App，博士学位远离我…NO.3 神经版本。

一天一遍小苹果，医生也救不了我…-_-#6.R U kidding?No,I am serious.你是凯迪吗？不，我是塞洛斯。

7.I want to see you我想要两颗西柚8.Student Today，Husky Forever.一天是学生，永远都是狗。

9.You share rose get fun.鱼香肉丝盖饭。

10.I saw a saw saw a saw我看到一把锯锯一把锯11.A saw saw a saw.英雄识英雄。

12.Young faults last for a life一见杨过误终生13.If you do not leave me, I will by your side until the life end.翻译一：如果你不离开我，我们会死在一起。

（中学水平）翻译二：如果不滚开，我就和你同归于尽。

（四级水平）翻译三：你若不离不弃，我必生死相依。

（六级水平）翻译四：问世间情为何物？直教人生死相许。

（八级水平）翻译五：天地合，乃敢与君绝。

（专家水平）翻译六：你在或不在，爱就在那里，不增不减。

（活佛水平）14.knowledge is power.芝士就是力量--培根15.Love the neighbor. But don‘t get caught.要用心去爱你的邻居，不过不要让她老公知道.16.A moment on the lips, forever on the hips.嘴巴爽一秒，屁股胖一生。

经典英语笑话带翻译爆笑Therewasonceawifesojealousthatwhenherhusbandcamehomeonenigh tandshecouldn’tfindhairsonhisjacketssheyelledathim,Great,s onowyou’recheatingonmewithabaldwoman!Thenextnight,whenshed idn’tsmellanyperfume,sheyelledagainbysaying,She’snotonlyb ald,butshe’stoocheaptobuyanyperfume!从前有个妻子醋劲很大。

一天晚上丈夫回家，她没有从他衣服上找到头发，于是大叫：好啊，如今你开场和秃头的女人骗我了!第二天晚上，她没有从丈夫衣服上闻到香水味，于是又大叫：她不但是个秃头，而且很穷酸，连香水都不买。

Amanisdrivingupasteep,narrowmountainroad.Awomanisdrivingdow nthesameroad.Astheypasseachother,thewomanleansoutofthewindo wandyells"PIG!!"Themanimmediatelyleansoutofhiswindowandrepl ies,"WITCH(女巫)!!"Theyeachcontinueontheirway,andasthemanroundsthenextco rner,hecrashesintoapiginthemiddleoftheroad.Ifonlymenwouldli sten.一个男人在一条陡峭狭窄的山路上驾车，一个女人相向驾车而来。

他们相遇时，那个女的从窗中伸出头来叫到：“猪!!”那个男的立即从窗中伸出头来回敬道：“女巫!!”他们继续前行。

这个男的在下一个路口转弯时，撞上了路中间的一头猪。

经典英文笑话加翻译大全冷笑话是近几年新兴的一种语言现象,它轻松诙谐、别具一格,给我们紧张的生活增添了几分轻松的情趣,它一出现便受到了大多数人的喜爱。

下面是店铺带来的经典英文笑话加翻译，欢迎阅读!经典英文笑话加翻译篇一Don't Get Caught!不要被逮着了!Out in the forest preserve, a man strolled up to the fisher man and asked whether he'd hadany luck.在森林保护区内，有个人走向一位正在钓鱼的老兄并问他有没有收获。

"No,nothing today,but you should see me yesterday. I caught fourteen bass in the morning andanother twelve in the afternoon!"“今天什么也没有，不过你应该昨天来见我才是。

昨天早上我钓了十四尾鲈鱼，下午钓了十二尾呢!"Well, that's very interesting. Do you know who I am?"“哦，那相当不错嘛，你知道我是谁吗?”"No."“不知道。

”"I happen to be the game warden."“我恰巧就是监视狩猎的管理员。

”"Oh.And do you know who I am? I'm the biggest liar you ever laid eyes on."“哦，那你又知道我是谁吗?我是你所发现最会说谎话的人。

”经典英文笑话加翻译篇二Learning to Share学习共同分享Johnny divided a piece of pie into two pieces, kept the biggerpiece for himself and gave the smaller piece to his sister.强尼把一块派一分为二，把大的留给自己，小的给他妹妹。

经典搞笑英语翻译（小编整理）第一篇：经典搞笑英语翻译经典搞笑英语翻译1． we two who and who？咱俩谁跟谁阿 2． how are you ? how old are you? 怎么是你，怎么老是你？ 3． you don't bird me,I don't bird you 你不鸟我，我也不鸟你 4． you have seed I will give you some color to see see, brothers！together up！你有种，我要给你点颜色瞧瞧，兄弟们，一起上！5．hello everybody!if you have something to say,then say!if you have nothing to say,go home！有事起奏，无事退朝 6． you me you me 彼此彼此 7． You Give Me Stop！你给我站住！8． know is know noknow is noknow 知之为知之，不知为不知… 9．WATCH SISTER 表妹10．dragon born dragon,chicken born chicken,mouse''son can make hole！龙生龙，凤生凤，老鼠的儿子会打洞！11．American Chinese not enough 美中不足12．one car come one car go ,two car pengpeng,people die 车祸现场描述 13． heart flower angry open 心花怒放 14． go past no mistake past 走过路过，不要错过 15．小明：I am sorry!老外：I am sorry too!小明：I am sorry three!老外：What are you sorry for? 小明：I am sorry five!16． If you want money,I have no;if you want life,I have one!要钱没有，要命一条 17． I call Li old big.toyear 25.我叫李老大，今年25。

好笑的英语笑话带翻译精选好笑的英语笑话带翻译精选民间笑话是一种颇受人们喜爱的民间叙事类型,材料丰富,有广泛的现实基础。

但是它却一直被学界视为不登大雅之堂的小众。

店铺分享好笑的英语笑话带翻译，希望可以帮助大家!好笑的英语笑话带翻译：Where Do You Want These BlindsA drill sergeant ordered two young female recruits to paint a room in the barracks, stressing that they not get any paint on their uniforms. Doubtful they could avoid ruining their clothes, the women locked the door, stripped naked and painted in nude. After about an hour they heard a knock at the door . "Who is it?" asked one of the women."Blind man, "came the reply.Seeing no harm in letting a blind man in, they opened the door."Wow, what knockouts!" the man said with surprise. "Now, where do you want these blinds?"窗帘挂于何处一位军事训练中士命令两个年轻的女兵去油漆营房里的一间屋子，并一再强调不得把漆弄到她们的制服上。

她们很怀疑能不把衣服弄脏，所以就把门插上，脱了衣服，裸体在里面油漆。

大约一个小时过后，她们听到有人敲门。