中考英语优秀作文评析(四)——提示作文123
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中考满分作文并且有点评的谢谢1. 开端在那成功的背后,必有一个苦涩的开端。
我从小就梦想着成为一名芭蕾舞明星。
穿上漂亮的公主裙,系上粉红色的芭蕾舞鞋,然后,站在我梦寐以求的舞台上,用脚尖轻轻地点着大地,慢慢地旋转,旋转……终于这美好的机会眷顾了我,凭着我的潜质和热情,我被允许插班到芭蕾舞三级表演班。
我的明星旅程由此开始。
这是我第一天来到这个硕大无朋的练习房。
推开练功房门,一看:四周全是镜子,好美!半开着的玻璃窗,阳光从外面洒进来,金灿灿的,仿佛是我的梦想在灿烂地闪耀。
我换好我心爱的舞鞋,进入了这个“梦想”的练功房。
“下腰!下腰!你怎么总比别人高出一截?”老师的又一声呵斥使我明白:一切都是从零开始,万事都会有开端,只不过我的开端很苦。
“往下压,坚持住!”为了让我压好腿,老师干脆坐在我的腿上,把我的腿使劲往下压,他又扳正了我的身体,使我面向前腿,我与撕裂般的疼痛抗衡着。
我忍住泪不哭,因为我明白:万事皆有开端。
不经历风雨,怎么能见彩虹?经过我不懈的努力,终于,在一个晴朗的上午,老师欣慰地告诉我:“你可以立脚尖了。
”我终于换上了那粉粉的脚尖鞋。
顿时,心里一阵激动,但这激动很快又被失落替代,一条布满荆棘的路,铺在了我面前。
我镇定地握住了把杆,挺胸,收腹,提气;我慢慢地拱出脚背,立起脚尖,好痛!我明白这只是一个开始。
一个小时过去了,我一直重复着这个枯燥的动作;两个小时过去了,我依旧在练。
终于,我忍不住了,“疼!”我叫了出来。
此时,我早已汗流浃背,感到全身毛孔都在胀大,额头上的汗珠更是不停地往外溢,脸上早已分不清哪是汗水、哪是泪水了,只觉得它们都在争先恐后地往外溢。
我知道,我的脚长得很不符合跳芭蕾舞的要求,但我会付出比别人多一倍的努力。
因为我坚信:开端的痛苦一定会换来成功的甜美!经过我不懈的努力,终于我被“伯乐”发现,成为芭蕾独舞表演的最佳人选。
为了练好舞,我每天都会挤出时间。
每次练完后,我可以把腿放到别人放不到的地方去,那种舒展的感觉是旁人难以感受到的。
中考满分作文加赏析点评英文回答:In my opinion, the key to writing a perfect essay for the middle school entrance exam is to first understand the prompt and then brainstorm ideas before organizing theminto a coherent structure. For example, when I was preparing for my own middle school entrance exam, I was given a prompt about the importance of teamwork. I started by jotting down all the instances in my life where teamwork played a crucial role, such as group projects at school, team sports, and even family activities. This helped me to gather my thoughts and come up with specific examples to support my argument.After brainstorming, I made sure to follow a clear structure for my essay. I began with an attention-grabbing introduction that introduced the topic and provided some background information. Then, I developed my ideas in the body paragraphs, making sure to use transition words toconnect my points. For instance, I used phrases like "furthermore" and "on the other hand" to show the logical progression of my arguments. Finally, I wrapped up my essay with a strong conclusion that summarized my main points and left a lasting impression on the reader.In addition to structure, I also paid close attentionto my language use. I included a variety of vocabulary and sentence structures to make my essay more engaging and sophisticated. I also used idiomatic expressions and figurative language to add depth to my writing. For example, instead of simply saying "working together is important," I used the expression "two heads are better than one" to convey the same idea in a more memorable way.Overall, I believe that a perfect essay for the middle school entrance exam should be well-organized, supported by specific examples, and written in a sophisticated yet accessible language style.中文回答:在我看来,写一篇完美的中学入学考试作文的关键是首先理解题目,然后在组织成一个连贯的结构之前进行头脑风暴。
中考英语优秀作文评析语1. Wow, the English exam was really tough! I had torack my brains to come up with answers for those tricky questions. But you know what? I didn't give up, I kept pushing myself to do my best.2. When I saw the essay topic, my mind went blank for a moment. But then I remembered all the practice I had done, and I started writing without hesitation. I poured my thoughts onto the paper, making sure to organize themclearly and logically.3. The reading comprehension section was no joke either.I had to read the passages carefully, paying attention to every detail. Sometimes I had to read between the lines to understand the deeper meaning. It was challenging, but I managed to answer all the questions.4. As for the listening part, I had to focus reallyhard to catch every word. The speakers talked so fast, itwas like a race against time. But I stayed calm andlistened attentively, jotting down key points to help me answer the questions later.5. Finally, the writing section was where I could truly express myself. I chose a topic that I was passionate about and let my creativity flow. I crafted my ideas into well-structured paragraphs, using a variety of vocabulary and sentence structures to showcase my language skills.6. Looking back, I can say with confidence that I gave it my all. I didn't let the pressure get to me, I stayed composed and tackled each question with determination. I may not have aced every single one, but I know that I tried my hardest and that's what matters the most.。
中考分析及反思作文英语Analysis and Reflection on the Middle School Entrance Examination。
The middle school entrance examination is an important milestone in the life of every student in China. It is atest that determines the future of the students and plays a vital role in their educational journey. As a student who has gone through this process, I would like to share my analysis and reflection on this examination.Firstly, the middle school entrance examination is a comprehensive test that covers a wide range of subjects, including Chinese, mathematics, English, physics, chemistry, and biology. It requires students to have a solidfoundation in these subjects and to be able to apply their knowledge to solve practical problems. Therefore, students need to study hard and prepare well in advance to achieve good results.Secondly, the middle school entrance examination is a highly competitive test. Every year, millions of students take this examination, and only a small percentage of them can be admitted to the top high schools. Therefore, students need to be mentally and physically prepared for the intense competition and develop effective strategies to improve their chances of success.Thirdly, the middle school entrance examination is a stressful test that can have a significant impact on the mental and emotional well-being of the students. The pressure to perform well can lead to anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues. Therefore, it is essential for students to maintain a healthy balance between their academic and personal lives and seek help and support when needed.Finally, the middle school entrance examination is a test that can provide valuable feedback to the students and their teachers. The results of the examination can help identify the strengths and weaknesses of the students and guide their future learning and development. Moreover, theexamination can also help schools and teachers to evaluate the effectiveness of their teaching methods and curriculum.In conclusion, the middle school entrance examinationis a challenging and important test that requires students to have a strong academic foundation, effective strategies, and good mental and emotional health. As students, we should approach this examination with a positive attitude, work hard, and seek help and support when needed. As educators, we should provide our students with the necessary guidance and resources to help them achieve their full potential.。
中考英语满分作文范例及赏析一.(烦恼类)假设你是Emma,你的笔友Josh给你写了一封电子邮件,向你倾诉他在家里的一些烦恼。
请根据来信和提示,给Josh回一封电子邮件。
先说说你的看法,再给出建议,并适当发挥。
提示:1.内容要点:(1)看法:在父母看来,我们仍是孩子;父母这样做是为了保护我们。
(2)建议:给父母写信谈谈你的想法;主动帮你父母做些力所能及的事情。
2. 回信应包括以上所有提示的信息,做到行文连贯,不要逐字翻译3. 词数:不少于80。
开头和结尾已经写好,不计入总词数。
【满分作文欣赏】Dear Josh,Thanks for your e-mail. I have ever had the same experience.Once upon a time,I even had a fight with my parents.In my opinion,even if we are growing up,we are still children in our parents’ eyes.They do that because they want to protect us.As for advice,here are some ideas. On the one hand, it can’t be better if you write a letter to talk about your thoughts,which can make them less angry.On the other hand, you'd better do something you can to help your parents.For example, you can help your parents with some housework in your free time,which can make you understand your parents better.I hope this will be of great help to you !Emma【翻译】谢谢你的电子邮件。
中考优秀英语作文评析★清华大学★英语系测试:为中小学生英语量身定做.官方网站:/清华大学英语教授研究组提供中考优秀英语作文评析(一)——记叙文 1【习作要求】根据中文意思和英文提示词语,写出意思连贯,符合逻辑的英文文段。
所给英文提示词语必须都用上;每组英文提示所写的句数不限。
彼得只有五岁,和他的祖母住在一起。
一天他的祖母得了重感冒,彼得急得直哭,后来他……(1) Peter, five(2) live, grandma(3) have, cold, worried, cry(4) idea, find, parents' telephone number, call(5) news, hurry, home, hospital【参考范文】Peter is only five (years old). He lives with his grandma. One day his grandma had a cold. Peter was so worried that he began to cry. Then he had an idea. He found his parents' telephone number and gave them a call. When his parents heard the news, they hurried back home and took Peter's grandma to the hospital.【名师点评】根据中英文提示可理清需要进行表达的大致情节是:彼得只有五岁,他和他的祖母住在一起,一天他的祖母得了重感冒,他急得直哭。
后来有了一个主意,他找到了他父母的电话号码,他打电话给了他们,当他的父母得知这一消息后迅速地赶回家,把祖母送进医院。
须注意前面介绍的是一般情况用一般现在时,后面叙述的是过去发生的事用一般过去时。
动词的运用及动词的时态是在进行书面表达时尤其要注意的。
中考英语优秀作文评析优秀作文评析(一)——记叙文1【习作要求】根据中文意思和英文提示词语, 写出意思连贯, 符合逻辑的英文文段。
所给英文提示词语必须都用上;每组英文提示所写的句数不限.彼得只有五岁, 和他的祖母住在一起。
一天他的祖母得了重感冒, 彼得急得直哭, 后来他….(1.Peter.five.(2.live.grandm.(3.have.cold.worried.cr.(4.idea.find.parents.telephon.number.cal.(5.news.hurry.home.hospita.【参考范文.Pete.i.onl.fiv.(year.old).H.live.wit.hi.grandma.On.da.hi.grandm.ha..cold.Pete.wa.s.worrie.tha .h.bega.t.cry.The.h.ha.a.idea.H.foun.hi.parents.telephon.numbe.an.gav.the..call.Whe.hi.pare nt.hear.th.news.the.hurrie.bac.hom.an.too.Peter'.grandm.t.th.hospital.【名师点评.根据中英文提示可理清需要进行表达的大致情节是: 彼得只有五岁, 他和他的祖母住在一起, 一天他的祖母得了重感冒, 他急得直哭。
后来有了一个主意, 他找到了他父母的电话号码, 他打电话给了他们, 当他的父母得知这一消息后迅速地赶回家, 把祖母送进医院。
须注意前面介绍的是一般情况用一般现在时, 后面叙述的是过去发生的事用一般过去时。
动词的运用及动词的时态是在进行书面表达时尤其要注意的。
优秀作文评析(一)——记叙文2【习作要求】请根据下面所给李玲的个人小档案, 以My good friend为题, 写一篇英语短文, 介绍李玲的基本情况。
要求条理清楚, 语句通顺, 体现表中的全部内容, 不得少于12句话。
初中英语作文的英语评语
English:
This essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and presents clear arguments in a structured manner. The introduction effectively sets the tone for the essay, while each body paragraph offers a different perspective supported by relevant examples. The conclusion summarizes the key points well and reinforces the
author's stance. However, there are some grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that could be improved upon for better clarity and flow. Overall, this is a well-written essay with room for improvement in language usage.
Translated content:
这篇文章展示了对主题的良好理解,并以有结构的方式提出了清晰的论点。
引言有效地为文章定调,而每个主体段落则提供了不同的观点,并用相关例证加以支持。
结论很好地总结了关键观点,并强化了作者的立场。
然而,存在一些语法错误和笨拙的措辞,可以通过改进以获得更好的清晰度和流畅度。
总体而言,这是一篇写得很好的作文,语言使用方面还有改进的空间。
中考英语作文范例+点评第一篇:中考英语作文范例+点评中考英语作文范例:我们的住宅小区Our Housing Estate 我们的小区There are many nice housing estates in Pudong New Area.Our housing Rainbow Estate, is one of them.浦东新区有很多漂亮的小区,我们的小区——彩虹小区,是其中之一。
You can see three in the middle.There is a beautiful garden in front of Block 2.In the gardon there is a.There is a shop on the right of Block 1.A big playground lies on the left of Block 3.You can see many men, women, boys and girls having exercise there.小区中间有三条街道。
在第二条街道前面是一个美丽的花园,花园里有个喷泉。
在第一条街道的右面是一个商店,而第三街道的左边是一个巨大的运动场,可以看到男男女女在那边做运动。
There is a small in our housing estate.It is and comfortable for us to live in our housing estate.在我们的小区有一个小小的幼儿园。
对于我们来说,住在小区十分方便和舒服。
点评:文章的结构与布局较合理,有一定的顺序,层次分明。
中考英语作文范例:我们的语音室编辑点评:中考英语作文的另一种类型是说明文。
说明文是就某一件事说明清楚,一般总是以空间顺序展开的。
写物的文章常用“某处有某物”的句子表示物的存在。
说明文是就某一件事说明清楚,一般总是以空间顺序展开的,可以自上而下,自左而右,从里到外,从整体到局部等等。
英语中考优秀范文赏析作文题目,英语中考优秀范文赏析。
作文:In today's interconnected world, mastering the English language has become increasingly important. English proficiency not only facilitates communication but also opens doors to opportunities in education, career, and culture. Thus, it is crucial for students to excel in English exams, such as the middle school entrance examination (中考) in China. In this essay, we will analyze and appreciate an exemplary English composition that has garnered widespread attention and praise.Title: A Journey to Success。
In the vast realm of academic challenges, the English middle school entrance examination stands as a formidable test of students' language proficiency and comprehensionskills. As students, we embark on this journey with trepidation and determination, knowing that success liesnot only in diligent preparation but also in the ability to express ourselves with clarity and confidence.The essay opens with a captivating introduction, where the author sets the stage for the reader's journey through the complexities of the English exam. Through vivid imagery and evocative language, the author captures the essence of the examination experience, painting a picture of anticipation and apprehension.Moving seamlessly into the body paragraphs, the author skillfully navigates through various aspects of the exam, dissecting each component with precision and insight. From grammar and vocabulary to reading comprehension and writing, every facet of the examination is meticulously examined, offering valuable tips and strategies for success.One of the essay's notable strengths lies in its balanced approach to exam preparation. While acknowledging the importance of rigorous study and practice, the authoremphasizes the need for a holistic approach that encompasses not only academic excellence but also mental and emotional well-being. Stressing the importance of maintaining a positive mindset and managing exam anxiety, the author provides invaluable advice that resonates with students facing the pressures of examination season.Moreover, the essay transcends the confines of exam preparation, delving into broader themes of personal growth and self-discovery. Through anecdotes and reflections, the author shares personal experiences and lessons learned, inspiring readers to embrace challenges as opportunitiesfor learning and development.In the concluding paragraphs, the essay circles back to its central theme of success, offering a poignantreflection on the journey undertaken and the lessons gleaned along the way. With a sense of optimism and determination, the author imparts a message of resilience and perseverance, urging readers to strive for excellence not only in academics but also in life.Overall, this exemplary essay serves as a beacon of inspiration and guidance for students navigating the complexities of the English middle school entrance examination. With its insightful analysis, practical advice, and motivational tone, it embodies the qualities of excellence and achievement that we aspire to attain in our own academic pursuits.As we embark on our own journey towards success, may we draw inspiration from this exemplary essay and strive to reach new heights of proficiency and mastery in the English language. Armed with determination, diligence, and a spirit of resilience, we too can overcome obstacles and emerge victorious in the pursuit of our goals.。
英语中考满分作文赏析The sun was shining brightly in the clear blue sky, casting a warm glow over everything. I could feel the heat on my skin as I walked down the street, the sound of birds chirping in the background. It was the perfect day to be outside, and I was determined to make the most of it.As I strolled along, I couldn't help but notice the vibrant colors of the flowers in the gardens I passed. The reds, yellows, and purples all seemed to blend together in a beautiful display of nature's beauty. It was a sight that never failed to lift my spirits and remind me of the simple pleasures in life.Suddenly, I heard the sound of laughter and music coming from a nearby park. Curious, I made my way over and discovered a group of people having a picnic. The smell of grilled food filled the air, and I could see children running around and playing games. It was a scene of pure joy and happiness, and I couldn't help but smile as Iwatched from a distance.As I continued my walk, I came across an elderly couple sitting on a bench, holding hands and gazing into each other's eyes. Their love and devotion to each other was evident, and it warmed my heart to witness such a beautiful bond between two people. It was a reminder that love knows no age and that it is truly the most powerful force in the world.The day was coming to an end, and as I made my way back home, I couldn't help but feel grateful for the simple pleasures I had experienced. The beauty of nature, the joy of spending time with loved ones, and the power of love were all things that money couldn't buy. I made a mental note to cherish these moments and to never take them for granted. After all, it's the little things in life that bring us the most happiness.。
中考优秀英语作文赏析点评中考优秀英语作文赏析点评【习作要求】请以Good Health为题写一篇文章。
【参考范文】GoodHealthThe desire for good health is universal. Especially nowadays, the possession of good health is regarded by nearly everyone as essential to a happy life as well as a successful one. Only in good shape can you expect to live comfortablyorwork effectively.How to keep healthy, then? First, enough time should be set aside for persevering in exercises in addition to sleep and rest. Second you must give up the habits that damage your health, such as smoking and drinking too much alcohol. Finally, be sure to have your physical check-up regularly.As for me, I have always been taking care to have proper sleep and relaxation. In my spare time I like running, swimming, and playing table tennis. So, I can keep fit and have a good life.【名师点评】本文层次清楚,逻辑分明,第一段讲好身体的重要性,第二段讲保持身体健康的'种种方法,第三段讲就“我”而言,“我”如何加强体育锻炼。
上海中考作文评析范文英语Title: The Importance of Learning English。
English is one of the most widely spoken languages in the world. It is the official language of many countries and is also used as a second language in many others. In today's globalized world, the ability to speak and understand English is more important than ever. In this essay, I will discuss the importance of learning English and the benefits it can bring.First and foremost, learning English opens up a world of opportunities. Many multinational companies and organizations use English as their primary language of communication. By being proficient in English, one can access a wider range of job opportunities and career advancement. In addition, English is the language of the internet and many online resources, so being able to understand and communicate in English is essential for staying informed and connected in today's digital age.Furthermore, English is the language of international travel and diplomacy. Whether one is traveling for business or pleasure, knowing English can make the experience much smoother and more enjoyable. It allows one to communicate with people from different countries and cultures, and it can also help in emergency situations where English may be the only common language.Moreover, English is the language of higher education. Many of the world's top universities and researchinstitutions use English as the language of instruction and publication. By learning English, one can access a wealthof knowledge and information that is not available in other languages. This can be particularly beneficial for students who wish to pursue higher education abroad or collaborate with international scholars.In addition, English is the language of popular culture. From music and movies to literature and fashion, English-language media and entertainment have a global influence.By learning English, one can enjoy a wider range ofcultural experiences and connect with people from different parts of the world through shared interests and hobbies.Finally, learning English can also help to promote understanding and cooperation among people from different linguistic and cultural backgrounds. By being able to communicate in a common language, individuals can bridge the gap between them and build meaningful relationships based on mutual respect and understanding.In conclusion, the importance of learning English cannot be overstated. It is a valuable skill that can open doors to new opportunities, facilitate international communication and collaboration, and enrich one's personal and professional life. Therefore, it is essential for individuals to invest time and effort in learning and improving their English language skills. Whether it is through formal education, self-study, or immersion in an English-speaking environment, the benefits of learning English are well worth the effort.。
当前位置: > 正文中考英语写作精彩点评与修改(四)作者:时间:2017-04-24刘晓伟老师—中考英语写作精彩点评与修改(四)中考英语写作题四(同第三题,小牛同学写的,强力推荐!)有些人认为中学生看电视是在浪费时间,另一些人则认为看电视对中学生是有益的。
请你以Is Watching TV a Waste of Time为题写一篇作文。
要点如下:1.一些人认为看电视有益,一些人则不这么认为。
2.你的看法和理由学生习作及修改:虽然不是故意的,我又来找碴了。
男子汉,别介意! :)(第一段:引出主题。
)As you can see,many say that watching TV is bad for our study. But I think it's good for us to watch TV because watching TV can make us more knowledgeable. (第一段先不要亮出观点,议论文有现成的思路可以继承。
想要追求创新应该在第二段中体现。
重改第一段:People take different attitudes towards watching TV. Some believe that it is beneficial for us to watch TV . Others, however, hold the opposite opinion.)(第二段:抛出观点。
)In my opinion, we should realize the pros and cons of watching TV. (一定要加上这一句:“我们应该认识到看电视的利弊。
” 因为你的观点是中立的。
必须首先亮出来,然后再讨论利是什么,弊是什么?最后总结一下。
)(第三段:看电视的优点。
)In my opinion, we have something that we can’t learn at school. Watching TV is a good way to help us to learn this kind of things. (首先要说明看电视的优点,而不是支持该观点的理由。
优秀中考英文作文范文欣赏英文:As an excellent middle school student, I believe that hard work and determination are the keys to success. In my opinion, it is important to set clear goals and worktowards them with dedication and perseverance. For example, when I was preparing for the middle school entrance exam, I made a study schedule and stuck to it religiously. I also sought help from my teachers and classmates whenever I encountered difficulties. As a result, I was able toachieve outstanding results in the exam.I also believe that it is essential to have a positive attitude and to stay motivated, even when facing challenges.I remember a time when I was struggling with a particularly difficult math problem. Instead of giving up, I kepttelling myself that I could solve it if I put in enough effort. Eventually, I was able to figure it out, and it was a great feeling of accomplishment.中文:作为一名优秀的中学生,我相信努力和决心是成功的关键。
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英语优秀范文赏析一.父亲节马上就要到了,但是有些同学不知道送什么礼物给父亲。
请根据下面的提示进行适当扩展,并向同学们提出一些建议。
80词左右,开头和结尾以给出(不计入总词数)。
提示:1.如果有足够的零花钱,可以为父亲买一些使用单不贵的东西,如领带等:2.还可以为父亲做些力所能及的事情,如为父亲准备一杯茶等他下班后饮用等。
Father’s Day is coming and you must be thinking of giving a present to your father. Different people like different kinds of gifts.If you have enough pocket money, you can buy a useful but not expensive thing, like a tie. I think your father will like it. But if you don’t have enough pocket money, you can do something that you can do.For example, you can prepare a cup of tea. When your father comes back from work, he can drink it.No matter what you do, the most important thing is to make yourfather happy on Father’s Day. Don’t you think so?二.请根据提示以“The Spring Festival”为题,写一篇不少于80词的英语短文。
提示:1.春节是中国最重要的节日;2.人们大多回家过年,家庭成员团聚;3.家人一起吃团年饭、看电视、拜访亲朋好友(friends andrelatives);4.孩子们喜欢春节。
中考分析及反思英语作文The analysis of the middle school entrance examinationis a reflection of my learning process and ability. It shows me where I stand and what areas I need to improve in. It's a chance for me to evaluate my strengths and weaknesses, and to make adjustments for future learning.The English exam was challenging for me, especially the listening and speaking parts. I realized that I need to practice more on my listening skills and pronunciation. Also, I need to enrich my vocabulary and improve my grammar. These are the key points I need to focus on in my English learning in the future.I was nervous during the exam, and I think it affected my performance. I need to learn how to manage my emotions and stay calm under pressure. It's important for me tobuild confidence and believe in myself. I should also learn some effective test-taking strategies to help me perform better in the future.After the exam, I talked to my classmates and realized that we had different strengths and weaknesses. I thinkit's important to learn from each other and help each other improve. I should be open to learning from others and not be afraid to ask for help when I need it.I need to set clear goals for my English learning and make a plan to achieve them. I should be consistent in my efforts and not give up easily. I need to stay motivated and remind myself of the reasons why I want to improve my English. With determination and hard work, I believe I can make progress.In conclusion, the middle school entrance examination is a valuable experience for me. It helps me see where I stand in my English learning and what I need to work on. I will take this as an opportunity to reflect, learn, and grow. I'm determined to improve my English and I believe I can achieve my goals with the right mindset and effort.。
记叙文
课堂练习
以―My Mother‖为题,写一篇120字左右的短文。
需包括以下要点:
(1) 妈妈的身材不高,稍胖,圆脸,长发。
(2) 妈妈是家庭主妇,每天起床很早,为全家人做饭。
(3) 早饭前做些家务,饭后送孩子上学。
虽然她没有很多钱,却常给我们买好衣服和学习用品。
(4) 妈妈晚上睡得晚,她总有很多活要做。
(5) 妈妈勤劳,我爱妈妈。
【学生习作】
My Mother
My mother is not tall and short (1). She is a little fat. She has a round face and long hairs (2).
My mother is a housewife. She is very busy every day. She get to(3) up very early every morning. She gets up at about five thirty. After that she begins to cook for the family.
Before breakfast, she does some housework. After breakfast, she sends our children (4) to school. She always tells us study hard (5). She has not many (6) money, but she often buys us some nice clothes and school things.
My mother goes to bed very late every night. She always has a lot of work to be done. (7)
My mother is hard-working. I love her very much. (1)如果说―她中等身材‖,应该说:She is of medium height.
(2)hair是不可数名词,不能用复数形式。
(3)改为gets。
主语是第三人称单数时,动词也应变为相应的三单形式。
(4)此处―我们孩子‖是同位词组,―我们‖与―孩子‖之间是同位关系,应将其改成:us children。
(5)这里应使用动词不定式,即tell us to do something。
(6)money 为不可数名词,前面应用much修饰,而不能用many。
(7)这里的动词不定式to do的逻辑主语是she,它们之间是主动关系,所以动词不定式应用主动形式。
【名师点评】
作者以细腻的笔法描写了一位勤劳而又善良的母亲,全文充满了对母亲的感激之情,语言流畅,表达生动,很有教育意义。
小作者文中存在如第2处第6处等名词方面的错误,以及第5处、第7处等动词不定式方面的错误,小作者写完之后要是能够认真检查,多修改几遍,这些错误是可以避免的。
优秀作文评析(四)——提示作文3
【习作要求】
你校与加拿大某中学结成姊妹学校,加方校刊来信了解你校的课外活动情况及你们的建议,请你根据下面表格中提供的内容用英语写一篇80词左右的短文。
文章的开头已给出(不计入总词数)
生词:兴趣小组interest group英语角English corner活动activity (n.)
活动时间4∶50 p.m—5∶50p.m
主要内容1.体育类(篮球、足球等)
2.兴趣小组(绘画、歌舞、电脑等)3.英语角(周三下午)
建议1.增加课外活动时间2.减少作业量
I'd like to tell you something about the out-of –class activities in our school.
【参考范文】
We usually have our activities from 4∶50—5∶50 in the afternoon. We have different kinds of activities. Some students are interested in sports. They play basketball and football. We also have some interest groups, such as drawing, singing and dancing. And now, computer is the most popular. On Wednesday afternoon we go to English corner. We like talking in English there. We hope we can spend more time on such activities and less time on homework.
【名师点评】
根据题目要求。
这是一篇说明性质的书面表达,要介绍的是课外活动的时间、内容及自己的建议。
首先要做到的是细读表格,明确要点。
在行文时要注意表达举行课外活动要用have activities,表达起止时间要用from... to,在表达这三种主要活动内容时,为使行文流畅,最好加进we have different kinds of activities(我们举行不同种类的课外活动)这样一句话。
紧接着要过渡到说明体育类(篮球、足球),如果表达出―有些学生从事体育活动(have sports)‖或―有些学生热衷于…(are interested in...)‖就较好。
至于说打篮球、踢足球较容易表达出来,可以直接表达They play basketball and football,也可以表达成Basketball and football are the most popular. 要表达―兴趣小组‖时,注意用提示词interest groups,要表达兴趣小组的三种内容,最好用例如(such as...),三种内容作为名词来表达时要注意用动名词形式(drawing, singing, dancing)。
在表达英语角时注意用提示词English corner,―在周三‖注意用介词on。
在表达―建议‖时,用自己熟悉的词hope,要表达―增加…时间‖,―减少…量‖,此时要注意到同一意义可有不同的表达方式,如转换成―在课外活动上多花时间‖―在作业上少花点时间‖的表达形式,与原意保持一致且与自己所学内容较贴近而不大容易出错,―在……方面花时间‖注意用短语spend...on。
提示的要点往往是非常简略的,要使行文流畅、自然,需适当加进一些话,另外当不能直接表达出需要表达的意义时,要考虑用自己熟悉的又不会改变意义的另一种表达形式,须知同一意义可以有很多种的表达方式。