都疯狂,FU7也疯狂

历史排行:1 泰坦尼克号派拉蒙18.45 19972 指环王3王者归来新线11.19 20033 哈利波特和魔法石华纳兄弟9.77 20014 指环王2双塔奇谋新线9.26 20025 星战前传1幽灵的威胁20世纪福克斯9.25 19996 史莱克2 梦工厂9.19 20047 侏罗纪公园环球9.15 19938 哈里波特和密室华纳兄弟8.77 20029 指环王1魔戒现身新线8.71 200110 海底总动员迪斯尼8.65 200311 蜘蛛侠索尼8.22 200212 独立日20世纪福克斯8.17 199613 ET外星人环球7.93 198214 哈里波特和阿兹卡班的囚徒华纳兄弟7.9 200415 狮子王迪斯尼7.84 199416 蜘蛛侠2 索尼7.84 200417 星球大战20世纪福克斯7.75 197718 黑客帝国2重装上阵华纳兄弟7.37 200319 星战前传3：西斯的复仇20世纪福克斯6.81 200520 阿甘正传派拉蒙6.77 199421 神秘第六感迪斯尼6.73 199922 加勒比海海盗迪斯尼6.54 200323 星战前传2：克隆人进攻20世纪福克斯6.5 200224 超人家族迪斯尼6.31 200425 侏罗纪公园2：迷失的世界环球6.19 199726 耶稣受难日新市场6.12 200427 黑衣人索尼5.89 199728 世界末日迪斯尼5.54 199829 碟中谍2 派拉蒙5.46 200030 后天20世纪福克斯5.43 200431 星球大战2：帝国反击战20世纪福克斯5.38 198032 怪物公司迪斯尼5.25 200133 终结者2 华纳兄弟5.2 199134 拜见岳父2 环球5.14 200435 人鬼情未了环球5.06 199036 阿拉丁迪斯尼5.04 199237 特洛伊华纳兄弟4.97 200438 龙卷风华纳兄弟4.95 199639 玩具总动员2 迪斯尼4.85 199940 冒牌天神环球4.85 200341 史莱克梦工厂4.84 200142 拯救大兵瑞恩梦工厂4.82 199843 小鬼当家20世纪福克斯4.78 199044 回到未来20世纪福克斯4.75 198345 夺宝奇兵3：圣杯派拉蒙4.74 198946 大白鲨环球4.71 197547 漂亮女人迪斯尼4.63 199048 黑客帝国华纳兄弟4.6 199949 角斗士梦工厂4.58 200050 碟中谍派拉蒙4.57 199651 最后的武士华纳兄弟4.57 200352 十一罗汉华纳兄弟4.51 200153 珍珠港迪斯尼4.49 200154 人猿泰山迪斯尼4.48 199955 黑衣人2 索尼4.42 200256 苗条奶爸20世纪福克斯4.41 199357 驱魔人华纳兄弟4.41 197358 终结者3 华纳兄弟4.33 200359 木乃伊归来环球4.33 200160 007：择日而亡米高梅4.32 200261 荒岛人生20世纪福克斯4.3 200062 黑客帝国3:矩阵的革命华纳兄弟4.25 200363 与狼共舞猎人4.24 199064 木乃伊环球4.16 199965 天兆迪斯尼4.11 200266 蝙蝠侠华纳兄弟4.11 198967 保镖华纳兄弟4.11 199268 X2 20世纪福克斯4.08 200369 乱世佳人米高梅4.06 193970 油脂派拉蒙3.94 197871 侠盗罗宾汉华纳3.91 199072 夺宝奇兵1 派拉蒙3.84 198173 冰河世纪20世纪福克斯3.83 200274 回到未来环球3.81 198575 真实的谎言20世纪福克斯3.79 199476 哥斯拉索尼3.79 199877 美女与野兽迪斯尼3.77 199178 男人百分百派拉蒙3.74 200079 我为玛丽狂20世纪福克斯3.7 199880 亡命天涯华纳3.69 199381 侏罗纪公园3 环球3.69 200182 我的巨大的希腊婚礼IFC 3.69 200283 诺丁山环球3.64 199984 虫虫特工队迪斯尼3.63 199885 十二罗汉华纳3.63 200486 全民情敌索尼3.63 200587 人猿星球20世纪福克斯3.62 200188 玩具故事迪斯尼3.62 199589 纵横天下米高梅3.62 199990 虎胆龙威3 20世纪福克斯3.61 199591 小鬼当家2 20世纪福克斯3.59 199292 少数派报告20世纪福克斯3.58 200293 人鬼情未了梦工厂3.56 199194 阿波罗13 环球3.55 199595 雨人米高梅3.55 198896 恐龙迪斯尼3.54 200097 壮志凌云派拉蒙3.53 198698 本能米高梅3.53 199299 汉尼拔米高梅3.52 2001100 变相怪杰新线3.51 1994为了纪念美国电影业的第一个百年庆典，美国电影协会着手整理此部“好莱坞百年百部经典电影”。

天才与疯狂在历史的长河里,自有人类的诞生开始,人直到现在都是世界抑或是地球的主宰,然而人类又以什么东西来安身立命与发展呢?其实,这个问题我们很容易回答,因为人类是具有智商的高级动物,他拥有区别于其他动物的创造力,他们创造了房子以安生,创造了机械以代劳,创造无线电话以沟通,总之一切便于生活的与便于生产的，人类都会逐渐地去创造它。

由此，我们毋庸置疑地可以回答人类的生存与发展是人类懂得创造一切我们需要的，如果再重点不如说两个字叫‘创造’。

在广义上‘创造’的词义是：利用拥有的各种资料元素进行组合，构成一种前所未有新型的物质或在已经构成的物质上加以重装革新。

创造力是人类的青春与活力，没有创造人类也就不可能拥有今天高楼大厦林立于高新产品等的大局面。

然而，世界拥有这种大局面并非所有人类都参与创造得来的，因为人类在某种定义上可以分为三种，第一种是来创造的，第二种是来生产的，最后一种是来分享的。

在这三种中其最具有人生价值意义当数第一种人群，他们是上天派来拯救人类社会的，我们也常常夸他们为天才。

天才是上天派来的吗？是与生俱来的吗？我想不是的！因为天才所拥有的创造力是他们背后的疯狂，在疯狂的强大驱动下他们做出了令人惊叹的物质资料，成为人类历史一道耀眼的光芒照亮了大地。

所以我想天才与疯狂是唇齿关系，成为人们夸口的天才的必要条件首先应该是拥有一种让常人感到不可思议的疯狂，如发明大王爱迪生、著名音乐家贝多芬、伟大物理学家爱因斯坦与牛顿、电学家法拉第、大革命家孙中山与毛泽东、还有逝世不久的苹果公司CEO的史蒂夫·乔布斯。

他们的人生就如一条崎岖不平向上的山路，在艰辛匍匐前进到达山最顶处后我们才看到模样。

他们所做的事业常常在开始时总不被人看好或是看到他们是即将失败的，他们是在无助与困苦的环境里工作的，然而在这种环境中能够让其生存与继续的动力不是食物，不是为了活命，是疯狂的工作精神。

在疯狂精神的驱动下他们去掉了不可能与现实感，让他们在有限的时间里做出无限的可能与计划，这不是夸大而是他们的证明。

《松药店的儿子们》海报《松药店的儿子们》是韩国KBS电视台2009年又一部大型家庭伦理剧，该剧讲述了发生在居住于慧花洞的四兄弟的爱情和结婚的故事。

该剧一经播出，即获得了最高收视率，成为今年韩剧的收视冠军。

中文名：松药店的儿子们外文名：솔약국집아들들其它译名：一屋叉烧的家庭（港译名）出品时间：2009年出品公司：韩国KBS 制片地区：韩国导演：李在祥编剧：赵正善主演：孙贤周，朴善英，李弼模，柳善，韩相镇，刘荷娜，池昌旭，姜恩菲集数：54集类型：家庭伦理剧上映时间：2009年4月11日目录编辑本段播出时间韩国播出时间2009年4月11日起每周六、日晚18：55（北京时间：19：55）播出。

播出频道：韩国KBS电视台接档：《我的爱金枝玉叶》中国内地播出时间《天使的诱惑》结束后，每晚22：00金鹰独播剧场两集连播。

播出频道：湖南卫视接档：《天使的诱惑》被接档：《落跑甜心》编辑本段剧情简介这是一部描写四个兄弟的爱情和婚姻的故事，在别人眼里他们都是出来好大学，松药店的儿子们海报(9张)有着好工作的男人，但是他们和很多现实中的人一样，对生活很笨拙，不知道怎么去爱父母、兄弟、朋友、恋人。

有一天，缘分找到了这四个兄弟，他们开始了各自的爱情，并且从“妈妈眼里的优秀的儿子”变成了真正的成熟男人。

编辑本段获奖情况2009年度KBS演技大奖最优秀男演员：孙贤周2009年度KBS演技大奖长篇剧优秀女演员：刘善2009年度KBS演技大奖最佳荧幕情侣：李必模刘善2009年度KBS演技大奖作家奖：赵正鲜编辑本段角色介绍宋真风（孙贤周）药店家的大儿子，药剂师宋振风 --- 孙贤周饰松药店里的大儿子，药剂师。

淳朴的微笑、朴素的打扮、沉默的性格，他的母亲裴女士认为大儿子是男人中的男人，但很多女人却认为这种男人无趣、沉闷。

中学时期《松药店的儿子们》幕后花絮(18张)开始暗恋一个女人，从中学、高中到大学，一直暗恋着她。

正当他要决定在她进入大学那一天表白爱意的时候，看到了她和一个男人在家门口亲密地在一起的一幕，转身回来后就去服了兵役。

uptownfunk歌词翻译Uptown Funk上城放克乐This hit这鼓点，这酷爽That ice cold Michelle Pfeiffer米歇尔·法伊弗That white gold金发白肤美妞This one, for them hood girls就这帮帽衫女孩Them good girls个个正点Straight masterpieces简直尤物Styling, while in够潮有型Living it up in the city在这城市纵情享乐Got Chucks on with Saint Laurent 穿上帆布鞋跨个名牌包Got kiss myself I'm so pretty都快爱上我自己就这么帅气I'm too hot (hot damn)哥就是这么性感（这么火辣）Called a police and a fireman快叫上警察消防员来给我降降温I'm too hot (hot damn)哥就是这么性感（这么火辣）Make a dragon wanna retire man 暴脾气都被我的帅熄火I'm too hot (hot damn)哥就是这么性感（这么火辣）Say my name you know who I am高呼我的名字你知道我是谁I'm too hot (hot damn)哥就是这么性感（这么火辣）Am I bad 'bout that money哥就是前途无量Break it down打断一下Girls hit your hallelujah (whuoo)女孩们快献上溢美之词（喔）Girls hit your hallelujah (whuoo)女孩们快献上溢美之词（喔）Girls hit your hallelujah (whuoo)女孩们快献上溢美之词（喔）Cause Uptown Funk gone give it to you 因为这上城放克乐就是献给你们的Cause Uptown Funk gone give it to you 因为这上城放克乐就是献给你们的Cause Uptown Funk gone give it to you 因为这上城放克乐就是献给你们的Saturday night and we in the spot 周六晚我们将嗨翻现场Don't believe me just watch (come on) 不信我就走着瞧好戏开始Don't believe me just watch不信我就走着瞧Don't believe me just watch不信我就走着瞧Don't believe me just watch不信我就走着瞧Don't believe me just watch不信我就走着瞧Don't believe me just watch不信我就走着瞧Hey, hey, hey, oh!嘿嘿嘿哦Stop停Wait a minute等一下Fill my cup put some liquor in it斟满我的酒杯Take a sip, sign a check抿一口在支票上签个名Julio! Get the stretch!胡里奥放开了玩Ride to Harlem, Hollywood, Jackson, Missis sip pi直奔好莱坞哈林区密西西比杰克逊If we show up, we gone show out我们一旦亮相就要秀个漂亮Smoother than a fresh dry skippy 堪比日本艺妓I'm too hot (hot damn)哥就是这么性感（这么火辣）Called a police and a fireman快叫上警察消防员来给我降降温I'm too hot (hot damn)哥就是这么性感（这么火辣）Make a dragon wanna retire man暴脾气都被我的帅熄火I'm too hot (hot damn)哥就是这么性感（这么火辣）Say my name you know who I am高呼我的名字你知道我是谁I'm too hot (hot damn)哥就是这么性感（这么火辣）Am I bad 'bout that money哥就是前途无量Break it down打断一下Girls hit your hallelujah (whuoo)女孩们快献上溢美之词（喔）Girls hit your hallelujah (whuoo)女孩们快献上溢美之词（喔）Girls hit your hallelujah (whuoo)女孩们快献上溢美之词（喔）Cause Uptown Funk gone give it to you 因为这上城放克乐就是献给你们的Cause Uptown Funk gone give it to you 因为这上城放克乐就是献给你们的Cause Uptown Funk gone give it to you 因为这上城放克乐就是献给你们的Saturday night and we in the spot周六晚我们将嗨翻现场Don't believe me just watch (come on) 不信我就走着瞧好戏开始Don't believe me just watch不信我就走着瞧Don't believe me just watch不信我就走着瞧Don't believe me just watch不信我就走着瞧Don't believe me just watch不信我就走着瞧Don't believe me just watch不信我就走着瞧Hey, hey, hey, oh!嘿嘿嘿哦Before we leave在我们离开之前I'mma tell yallalil something我会告诉你一些事情Uptown Funk you up,上城放克乐嗨翻你Uptown Funk you up上城放克乐嗨翻你Uptown Funk you up,上城放克乐嗨翻你Uptown Funk you up上城放克乐嗨翻你I said Uptown Funk you up,我说上城放克乐嗨翻你Uptown Funk you up上城放克乐嗨翻你Uptown Funk you up,上城放克乐嗨翻你Uptown Funk you up上城放克乐嗨翻你Come on, dance来吧自由舞动Jump on it跳起来If you sexy than flaunt it如果你够性感就大胆秀出来If you freaky than own it 你要是个丑货就乖乖认怂Don't brag about it,别自夸come show me尽管秀给我看Come on, dance跳起来Jump on it跳起来If you sexy than flaunt it如果你够性感就大胆秀出来Well it's Saturday night周六晚and we in the spot我们将嗨翻现场Don't believe me just watch 不信我就走着瞧come on来吧Don't believe me just watch 不信我就走着瞧Don't believe me just watch 不信我就走着瞧Don't believe me just watch 不信我就走着瞧Don't believe me just watch 不信我就走着瞧Don't believe me just watch 不信我就走着瞧Hey, hey, hey, oh!嘿嘿嘿哦Uptown Funk you up,上城放克乐嗨翻你Uptown Funk you up (say whaa!) 上城放克乐嗨翻你（叫哇）Uptown Funk you up,上城放克乐嗨翻你Uptown Funk you up上城放克乐嗨翻你Uptown Funk you up,上城放克乐嗨翻你Uptown Funk you up (say whaa!) 上城放克乐嗨翻你（叫哇）Uptown Funk you up,上城放克乐嗨翻你Uptown Funk you up上城放克乐嗨翻你come on来吧Uptown Funk you up,上城放克乐嗨翻你Uptown Funk you up (say whaa!) 上城放克乐嗨翻你（叫哇）Uptown Funk you up,上城放克乐嗨翻你Uptown Funk you up上城放克乐嗨翻你Uptown Funk you up,上城放克乐嗨翻你Uptown Funk you up (say whaa!) 上城放克乐嗨翻你（叫哇）Uptown Funk you up上城放克乐嗨翻你。

烧烤广告语烧烤广告语11、不闻人间烟火，但食人间美味。

2、不一样的烧烤体验，烤出不一样的新意。

3、尝百味烧烤，品人生百味。

4、超凡的味道，超凡的体验，超凡的享受。

5、吃喝玩乐不失之雅，色香味形自成一格。

6、创意烧烤，时尚享受。

7、此味只应天上有，人间能得几回闻。

8、到听泉观澜，我们为您缔造“品味”。

9、告别城市喧嚣，置身世外“烤”园。

10、观看世间奇景，烤出人生百味。

11、韩味烧烤，新派一流。

12、健康烧烤，时尚味好。

13、斤斤有味，食全食美。

14、精心炮制，香飘千里。

15、静享美味不担忧，听泉观澜吃烧烤。

16、绝佳美味，经得起“烤”验。

17、烤到表里油香，吃得内外舒畅。

18、烤蕴百味香，涮出一锅红。

19、绿色烧烤，我有绝招。

20、麻也得吃辣也得吃，鲜也叫绝香也叫绝。

21、美味“烧”不尽，佳肴“烤”不完。

22、美味并存，健康犹在，听泉观澜，新派烧烤。

23、美味烧烤，时尚享受。

24、美味烧烤有绝招，独特享受新体验。

25、品的是味道，烤的是情调。

26、品美味，享健康；饱眼福，饱口服。

27、品味绿色烧烤，享受健康生活。

28、奇特味妙都不少，感觉唯有你知道。

29、惬意的日子，烤出美味心情。

30、烧不尽的美味，烤不完的享受。

31、烧出美味，烤出健康。

32、烧的是感觉，烤的是情调。

33、烧烤美味，回归自然。

34、烧烤听泉观澜，不觉天上人间。

35、烧上等美味，烤高尚生活。

36、生活真滋味，一烤永回味。

37、时尚都市，听泉观澜；山野烧烤，天然醇香。

38、时尚新体验，非一般的品味。

39、听泉观澜，当烧烤爱上健康。

40、听泉观澜，品味烧烤。

41、听泉于林享美味，观澜至颠品佳肴。

42、我不再阿梅烧烤，就在去阿梅烧烤的`路上。

43、我们不只征服您的心，更要征服您的胃。

44、无味不致，梅香四溢。

45、享快乐美味，品健康佳肴。

46、享受生活，更要关注健康。

47、享受新派烧烤，唤醒沉睡味觉。

48、笑里且听泉，烧烤亦观澜。

49、新潮流，新品味，新体验。

本文部分内容来自网络整理，本司不为其真实性负责，如有异议或侵权请及时联系，本司将立即删除！== 本文为word格式，下载后可方便编辑和修改！ ==小品功夫台词小品功夫台词赵本山：听说他----不当厨师，改防忽悠热线了，竟敢扬言再不上当受骗了，残酷的现实已直逼我心理防线了，今年我要不卖他点啥，承诺三年的话题我就没法跟观众兑现了。

徒弟1：师傅，进去吧！赵：别着急，先拨个骚扰电话。

（打电话）通了。

你好！范伟：你好。

这里是借你借你一双慧眼防忽悠咨询热线，我是资深上当者老范，凭借多年的上当经验，对你是否被忽悠作出明确判断：有人卖拐，请按1；有人卖车，请按2；有人出脑筋急转弯，请按3；有人卖担架，直接拨110。

赵：你好！范：你好！赵：请问您是范师傅吧？范：你是哪位？赵：我是……有一个问题想直接咨询您老一下。

范：恩，你说。

赵：我家有一头老母猪啊，黑地白花的啊，早晨一起来打开家门以每小时80脉的速度向前疯跑，“哐砀”撞树上，死了！范：撞死了？这头猪的视力是不是有问题呀？赵：俩眼睛都是1.5的。

范：会不会有什么心理疾病啊？赵：心理可健康呢！范：那怎么会撞死呢？赵：那头猪脑筋不会急转弯呗！范：我说你这个人不按套路出牌啊！出脑筋急转弯你得按3哪！那既然这样的话，我也咨询你一个问题。

赵：你说。

范：过年了，我们家什么年货也没买，就剩下一头猪和一头驴。

你说我是先杀猪呢，还是先杀驴呢？赵：那你先杀……（和徒弟讲）给你们两个机会。

徒弟1：先杀驴。

赵：先杀驴。

范：恭喜你，答对了。

猪也是这么想的。

赵：小样！悲哀！真让我为你感到悲哀！眼看就要独闯江湖了，这怎么能让我放心的下呢？徒弟2：师傅，先杀猪好了。

赵：那驴也是这么想的！我告诉你，就这个问题，你先杀谁都不好使。

我为什么没回答呢？就因为我考虑它是有问题的。

看见了吗？他已经从当年的一根筋，现在成长到两头堵了！徒弟1：师傅，他太厉害了，咱回去吧！赵：不能回去！卖拐，把他忽悠瘸了；卖车，把他忽悠蔫了；在十分钟内不把他摆平，我就没法跟你们俩再当教师爷了。

李伯清语录李伯清，昵称李贝贝!是一代男神，也是一个时代的印记!记不清有多少个日夜我们在他的话语中获得开心，寻求慰藉。

下面就让我们一起重温他带给我们的开心和感动吧。

1: 死娃娃,要翻错误的哦~~~~~~~2:为什么分手总是在雨中~3:拉豁就拉豁家具都不拖4:不喜欢孤独，却又害怕两个人相处，这分明是一种痛苦5:我4岁的时候的了一种病,医生说是夜游证,晚上杀人都不的晓得.........6:A凉粉你把别个隔壁子的MM喊到包间角角头坐到杂子``等哈别个以为你把她杂子了的``光天白日的你也不敢把她杂子了``当就算你把她杂子了``我们也不能把你杂子了7:李铁梅,把密电码交出来,不交要把你整到柱不交又郎拐 ,那是工家的东西的哇 ,交了要砍脑壳了的嘛 .......8:拿脚判三9:迟来的爱希望对你不是一种伤害10我有个自行车，除了铃铛。

周身不响11:球迷分为球痴、球狂、球瓜、球疯子…………球没明堂12:素芬，把啤酒瓶瓶给我卖了。

我要回传呼13:越热越出汗，越冷越打颤，越穷越莫的，越有越方便14:钥匙都还在老子手头15:李老师的嘛.随便屙嘛16:上级的名字,我晓得下级的名字,我也晓得就是不说17:喂~~~~~~~~~~~~~啊对的嘛`~~素芬哇`~ 狮子楼嘛就狮子楼嘛18:厨房!厨房!我是前堂，前面4号桌，4串豆腐干，外加个油碟!19:人家李伯伯好不容易来一次，你嫩是要和人家李伯伯两个抢20:坦克筒筒有点弯啊，弯嘛把它撇撑就对了嘛听说这一次，要把整个长城堪成彩色瓷砖(女人撕心裂肺地)老子不得怕你，随便你，狗日你个李瓜娃子不得了了你，讲点评书了你艺术家了，当年偷人家蜂窝煤的时候你搞忘了～～张老娘儿，老子当年还阴到在迷你哦，碰起!弟娃儿～1、越热越出汗，越冷越打颤;越穷越莫的，越有越方便;热天莫的冷天冷，冷天又莫的热天热;从来鸡公不下蛋，煤炭历来就曲妈黑;如果哪个不相信，赌你去把它洗白。

2、素芬，起来起来，去把啤酒瓶瓶给我卖了，老子要回传呼了。

《小武》剧本--1洪南村外公路边上午小武站在公路边等车。

早晨八九点钟，太阳刚刚升起。

初春的田野里有一层淡淡的薄绿。

远处寸草不生的山坡下是村办炼铁厂的全景，两座高大的烟囱在冒着浓厚的烟雾。

小武穿着一条腰大的草绿军裤，一双平底儿板鞋露着白边，旧西服搭在肩上。

他用火柴点着公主牌香烟，猛吸几口。

他显然对公路上还不来车有点不耐烦。

远处炼铁厂的高音喇叭在放着歌曲，几面红旗向东飘摇。

汽车由远而近的声音。

小武伸出胳膊，一辆风尘仆仆的东风牌旧式客车停在了路边。

司机助手把头伸出窗外大声吆喝着：去哪儿？小武：进城。

序场（用抓拍的素材，在后期剪接时增加的内容）公路边，不知名的一家人在疲倦地等车。

父亲默默抽着烟，女儿蹲在地上低头打吨，处在青春期的儿子举目四望。

画外音，赵本山的说唱：点就有呀，六六六六六哥跟小妹的感情厚五魁手呀，别脱扣孤独寂寞多难受四喜四喜两将就让我一次爱个够哥俩好啊，八路通革命的小酒整三盅天天醉啊，顿顿蒙喝出一个亚洲雄风电影《小武》（剧本与实拍时的改动对照）靳小勇的哥们胡梅梅的靠山梁长有的儿子：小武（影片完成后，为了便于发行，片名简化为《小武》）贾樟柯二、客车上上午车门“轰隆”一开，小武刚一上车，汽车就开动了。

小武伸手拉住栏杆，露出手臂上的刺青：一条小龙和依稀可见的四个字“有难同当”。

车里人没有坐满，但行李很多，有些拥挤。

阳光从车窗上斜射进来，空气里的尘土在狭小的空间里荡漾。

司机的助手很费力地从副手座儿上跨越着地上的行李，走到小武身边。

助手：师傅，买一下票吧！小武没有看助手一眼，径直找了一个空位坐下，旁边是个戴鸭舌帽干部式的乘客，乘客下意识地往里坐了一下。

助手跟了过来：师傅，买一下票。

小武抬起头看着助手没有马上回答。

助手握着票的手停在了空中。

小武一个字一个字地说道：我是警察。

助手犹豫了一下，转身回到了自己的坐位上。

小武身边的乘客把头扭向了窗外。

窗外，公路两边的白杨树刚刚抽出了绿芽，广阔的田野依偎在远山的怀抱里，天气显得有些温暖。

一个月后史蒂夫·德赖弗手指激♥情♥该你了Your turn.来了擦on, fuck.行了行了醒了Okay, I'm awake.早上好Good morning.你俩今天怎么这么早就折腾啊You guys are up a little early today, huh.做噩梦了?Did we have some nightmares or something?看看你给爸爸准备了什么好东西?Let's see what you made for daddy.一起看看吧Let's see.我也不想裤子里夹着那玩意儿睡觉I wouldn't like to sleep with that in my pants, either.但大学时确实有过这么一次But it did happen once in college.宝贝你能把那瓶子放下么?Can you leave that bottle alone, honey?放下好不好?Can you put it down?宝贝... 莎拉...Honey... Sarah...别别! 哦亲爱的!No, no! Sweetheart!擦Damn.先回你小暖窝里待会儿吧I know. I'll have you back in your warm little bed in one second. 去吧宝贝Here you go. Back to bed, sweetheart.尿布换好啦You got a fresh, dry diapy.彼得...彼得别介!Peter, please!头撞不过床的咱不是讨论过了么Buddy, we talked about the head thing.我来给你贴上新尿布Let me get you all hooked up.待好了别掉下去Hang on, don't fall.哦不Oh, no.彼得... 哦Peter... Oh.搞定爹要看电视了Okay. A little something for daddy.斯蒂尔库和巴♥赫♥ 麦克劳德法律事务所早上好-Steel, Kuhbach, McCloud Law Firm. -Good morning.早上好洛克伍德Good morning, Lockwood.早上好斯蒂尔先生Good morning, Mr. Steel.谢谢Thank you.孩子都好吧?How are the kids?哦很好他们很好Oh, they're terrific. Just terrific.有孩子真是一大乐事Children are such a joy.是啊当然Yes, absolutely. Always.并购的事怎么样了?Any word on the Amalgamated merger?就差签字了That's all but signed.这单谈成了就该进行你的合伙人资格评估了And just in time for your partner review, no less.真的? 我都没注意Really? Oh, I hadn't noticed.评估在合伙人专用套间进行洛克伍德I look forward to having your antic sense of humor别太僵硬死板好好表现in the partner suite, Lockwood.希望你顺利通过It can get a touch dry up there.好的谢谢Thank you so much. Hmm.不过这双温莎结[一种领带系法]But a Double Windsor?快别了又不是赛狗去Come on, son. This is not the dog track.哦当然No. Yes.好的Yeah.这就重系谢谢提醒Absolutely not. Thank you.嗨Hi.真的戴夫又不是去赛狗Seriously, Dave, this isn't the dog track.啊早上好塞布丽娜Yeah. Good morning, Sabrina.上周他说我的鞋像意大利黑♥手♥党♥穿的Last week he told me my shoes were dangerously Italian.什么?what?并购材料? 要我去汇报?My turn with the Amalgamated files?嗯我调整了下评估程序以便体现新的每月预测Yeah, I adjusted the WACC to reflect the new monthly projections, 23到29条也进行了预谈判and I pre-negotiated articles 23 through 29.好的Okay.顺便说下我更喜欢你以前的样子I like the way you had it before, by the way.是啊谢谢Yeah. Thank you.早上好帕特里夏Good morning, Patricia.弟弟便便妹妹鸡鸡洞洞Penis, shit, vagina, cock, wolf pussies.米奇我上班呢Mitch. I'm at work.-吓着了吧 -多明白啊-Did I get you? -Yeah. You sure did.-免提呢? -是啊You got me on speakerphone? Yep.秘书听到了?Did the secretary hear?是秘书听到了一点儿没落Yes, the secretary heard. She heard it all.哈爽That's awesome.爽个屁你丫磕了多少?Not really. How stoned are you right now?就来了点大♥麻♥I've taken some weed.-真的? -嗯Have you? Mmm-hmm.-知道现在几点了么? -嗯Do you know what time it is? Mmm-mmm.早上九点It's like 9:00.我勒个去Holy fuck-knuckles.-猜我现在跟前放着个啥? -你那破钟?Guess what I'm looking at right now. A bong?不是我昨晚在街上看见个蒲团No, I found a futon on the street last night.就跟那流浪汉打架抢过来了他太弱了I sort of had to fight a bum for it. He was so thin.还抢了个很漂亮的纳瓦霍马鞍垫...And it also came with this vintage Navajo pony blanket... 哥们儿赚大发了So I think that's pretty much a win for me.米奇成年人都是要工作的Mitch, you know the adults are about to fire up a work day. -我知道就是想你了没别的 -我也想你I know, I just miss you, dude, that's all. I miss you, too.三年级起咱俩就是最亲近的兄弟We've been super best buddies since third grade.我好久都没见着你了I haven't seen you in forever.嗯我太忙了Oh, I've been swamped.我们正对双胞胎进行睡眠训练We're sleep-training the twins,我都快累的喘不动气了and I just haven't had a moment to breathe.真倒霉我就是超想见你I'm sorry, man. I'm just super-excited to see you.咱今晚说好的聚会还算数吧?We are still on for tonight, right?-大卫? -嗯?David? Yep.当然当然为了... 那啥-Yeah, yeah, yeah. -For the thingy.亚特兰大勇士队对佛罗里达马林鱼队别说你忘了Braves-Marlins. Please don't tell me that you forgot.没Didn't forget.你几点来接我?What time are you going to pick me up?别让我自己看球大卫Don't you bail on me, David.不会的I am not going to bail.如果你不来我就照"眼睛强♥奸♥"的字面意思对你If you bail on me, I'm going to literally eye-rape you.明白I got it.我会真的捅到你的眼睛里... 喔!I will actually place myself inside your ocular... Oh!我爸来了It's my dad.老米奇·普隆克很少见啊Mitch Planko, Sr. making a rare appearance.他瞅我老费劲了This guy fucking hates me.-6点去找你 -知道了-I'll pick you up at 6:00. -Got it.挂了Kirk out.爸Dad.你来干嘛?What are you doing here?就是过来告诉你Oh, I just came by to tell you儿子你是多么让我骄傲how incredibly proud of you I am, son.我虽然有点高了I'm pretty baked right now,但还是能听出来你在讽刺我but I think you're being sarcastic.是么?Right?不高中退学去当演员No, dropping out of high school这决定挺不赖的to be an actor was a great decision.我碰巧见着你给那肉商做的演出了I saw you in that commercial for meat, incidentally.你这香肠演的人类已经阻止不了你了That was the most brilliant portrayal of baloney I have ever seen. 你过来干嘛?Why are you here?来看看你想不想一起吃点早餐Just came by to see if you'd like to have some breakfast.不行啊我10分钟后有个超重要的电♥话♥会要开I can't. I got a super-duper important conference call in 10 minutes. -你没工作 -你没头发You don't have a job. You don't have any hair.是啊Right.好吧那我就在这儿说吧Well, then I'll just say it here.我又要结婚了I'm getting married again,想要你来参加婚礼and I'd like you to come to the wedding.-什么时候? -下周六When's the wedding? Next Saturday.我的未婚妻帕梅拉My betrothed, Pamela, would like you想让你来讲几句话to be there to say a few words.你下次结婚我再去吧I'll catch the next one.嗯好吧那我最好回去Yeah, right. Okay, well, then I'd better get home弄弄我的鞋and boil my shoes.-见到你很高兴 -我也是Great visiting. You, too.好吧Good.吃小孩的妖怪And the baby-eating monster从深渊里爬了上来!rises from the deep!爸爸你喜欢哪个?Hey, Daddy, which one do you like better?帝王斑蝶还是斑星弄蝶?The southern monarch or the many-spotted skipperling? 爹永远都是斑星弄蝶的粉I am a many-spotted skipperling man, all the way.帝王斑蝶就是炫点儿的蛾子不是么?The monarch is just a glorified moth, don't you think? 嗯我觉得也是Yes. I tend to agree.-妈妈! -嗨!Hi, Mom! Hi!今天太郁闷了What a bad, bad day.嗨Hi.分区规划委又让我们停业The zoning board shut us down for the millionth time.克莱因医生把双胞胎的免疫卡丢了Dr. Klein lost the twins' immunization records.凯拉在芭蕾课上又受欺负了And Cara got bullied in ballet class again.你跟爸爸说了么?Did you tell Daddy?做小踢腿时妮可莱特·彼得斯把我推倒了Nicolette Peters keeps knocking me over during the battement glissé. 哦真可怜小瓢虫你没事吧?Oh, I'm sorry, sugarbug. Are you okay?我们正努力和平解决这事儿We just need to keep striving for verbal resolution.嗯好和平解决Yeah, yeah. Verbal resolution, sweetheart.你觉得今晚在哪儿谈比较合适?So where do you want to do this tonight?谈什么?Do what?今天是交流日Dialogue Night.哦上帝Oh, my God.亲爱的...Honey...别说了Don't even say that.非常抱歉是我不好I'm so sorry. I suck.蒂尔曼医生说一周就一次一次就一小时Dr. Tillman said just once a week, for one hour.对不起I'm sorry.三个月前就这么建议咱们了That was three months ago.我知道我听他说了I know. I heard her.我也想坐下来好好跟你交流一小时And I want to sit and talk with you for an hour每周几次都行但今天不行more than once a week, but tonight, I cannot.为什么? 你有事?Why? What are you doing?我答应米奇要跟他I promised Mitch I would sit and watch一起看比赛...a game with him tonight, and...What?能不能往后推推?Can we please just slide the Dialogue Night again?真对不起I'm so sorry.周一不行I can do Monday night.谢谢Thank you.他来早了He's early.你要整天吃鹰嘴豆泥和打飞机Yeah, you'd be early, too,你也会无聊地早点过来if all you did all day was eat hummus and masturbate. 什么是鹰嘴豆泥?What's hummus?地中海地区人们吃的一种流食That is a Mediterranean spread, honey.什么是打飞机?What's master-ate?就是薄脆饼干It's a cracker.嗨米奇发型不错Oh, hey, Mitch. Your hair looks good.谢谢Thanks.为了拍个脑残的卫生巾广♥告♥剪的Yeah, I had to cut it for a fucking tampon commercial. 米奇叔叔!-Uncle Mitch!我的小芭蕾舞演员挺好的吧?How's my favorite ballerina doing?-你好米奇叔叔 -你好啊Hi, Uncle Mitch. Hi! Wow!天哪你怎么这么轻减肥呢?Gosh, you're so light. Are you dieting?你要不要来参加我的舞蹈演出会?Do you want to come to my dance recital?哦不去了宝贝No, honey.米奇叔叔只喜欢一种舞蹈The only style of dancing that Uncle Mitch likes就是女人们攀着钢管群魔乱舞involves a big, shiny pole, and a broken woman with daddy issues. 好了不聊了Yeah, story time is over.去弄弄你的头发吧Go fix your hair.喔Ow.真香啊杰姆Mmm, smells good in here, Jame.嗯Mmm.哇! 好吃的!Ooh! Num-nums!蔬菜泥!Vegetable medley!-最近怎么样? -挺好的How are you? Good.-过得不错? -是啊You're good? Yeah.没找女朋友?Are you dating anyone?-你知道我看上谁了? -谁?Ooh! You know who I ran into? Who?德鲁伊山社区星巴克的西卡姆女士Mrs. Hickham at a Starbucks in Druid Hills.-我们的社会学老师? -是啊Our social studies teacher? Yeah.我约她她不甩我I asked her out and she wouldn't go out with me,太过分了高中时我俩还搞过呢which is crazy, because I nailed her in high school.-你俩? -整个学期我都在跟她的嘴巴约会You did? I dated her mouth for a full semester.都弄好了洗澡换尿布乖乖的-Okay. -Bathed, diapered, and in the PJs.戴夫能满足你么? 我是说在床上Is Dave meeting your needs, sexually?-能吧我想 -不错-Yeah, I guess. -Good.-有时不行 -哦Not really, mmm-mmm. Ahh.真想把你捆眼前说"我行"I would like to strap you to my face and say the alphabet. 别扯了That's going too far.噢!Oh!瞧这俩小傻蛋!Look at these little fuckers!你叫什么?What's your name? Hey.你叫什么? 嗯?What's your name? What's your name?他俩怎么不说话? 不是痴呆吧?Why can't they talk yet? Are they retarded or something? 说什么呢别胡扯Don't say... You can't say that.他不是唐氏症患儿吧Well, this one right here looks a little Downsy.-闭嘴 -开个玩笑么-Or that. -I'm kidding.-确实有点儿像 -滚A little bit, though? No.小南瓜比赛结束我们就回来好吧?Pumpkin, we'll see you right after the game, okay?去吧Have fun.小家伙真好玩哦怎么哭了I like it. Oh, God.-走吧 -拜拜Let's go. Okay. Bye.米奇戴夫二人组Mitch and Dave.米奇戴夫二人组进城过夜生活啦Mitch and Dave, out on the town.哦哥们儿忘告诉你了!Oh, dude, I didn't tell you!这周哥要演个主角I booked a major movie role this week.试镜通过了I auditioned for a movie role, I got it.-哥第一个主角啊 -不赖啊片子叫什么?Yeah, first one. Hey, good for you. What is it called?"无名牛片"Untitled Awesome Movie.真的? 叫这名?Truly? That's the name?-嗯 -嗯恭喜Yeah. Yeah. Good for you.-来根不? -不了Do you want to hotbox this nut sack? No, no.-明天还有事儿呢 -扶下车把嗯方向盘I've got a big day tomorrow. Take the wheel. Steer. Steering wheel. 扶下方向盘Oh, steer for me.拜托米奇Mitch, come on, buddy.咱得活着才能看比赛不是么?Let's make it to the game in one piece, don't you think?试试? 好歹是辆菲罗不过不幸没气囊Want to try that? This Fiero, unfortunately, is airbag-free.明天又不是周末It's a work day tomorrow.-尝尝呗 -好好给我来一口Come on. All right, I'll take one hit.喔! 你他♥娘♥的♥... 个猪猡!Oh! What the... You motherfucker!专心开车先Let's just focus on the driving.你是老大? 擦太过分了Just say no, Reagan. God, why would you do that?-行了专心开车 -我去!Well, we're driving. God!-车速这么快 -太恐怖了This is a car carrying a lot of speed. This is terrible.扶好方向盘我得再来一根!Hit the steering wheel. I'm going again!喔! 干了!Whoo! Drink!三振出局啊牛! 干了!I'll drink to that. All right! That was a strikeout.一起出来玩儿真好你最近怎么样?Huh, what's going on? It is good to see you again.是啊我也很高兴It's good to see you, too, Dave.女生追得怎么样了?What's going on with the women, huh?我追过一些很好很不错的女孩I've been seeing a number of very, very nice ladies.-看照片 -哇I got some pictures. Wow.这是塔蒂阿娜That is Tatiana.塔蒂阿娜Tatiana.姓什么?What's her last name?塔蒂阿娜·"半夜三点求我搞"It's Tatiana Calls-me-at-three-in-the-morning-and-wants-to-fuck-stein. 爱他妈姓啥姓啥Who gives a shit what her last name is?米奇她让我想起了塞布丽娜Mitch. Reminds me a little bit of Sabrina.哈! 嗯? 谁是塞布丽娜?Yeah! Wait, who's Sabrina?塞布丽娜是...Sabrina. She's this...是我公♥司♥一个新来的法律助理She's this new law associate at my work.她太漂亮了天哪米奇太绝了She's so hot. Oh, Mitch, is she hot. Uh-oh.跟时尚大♥片♥里的模特似的She's like fall-out-of-a-magazine hot, you know?她是你"癌症名单"上的第一个吧?I bet she's number one on your cancer list, right?什么名单?What is that?-得了吧你能不知道? -啥玩意儿?Come on, you know what that is. What is that?每个已婚男人都有这么个名单Every married guy has a cancer list.就是你老婆突然得癌症死掉后It's the first three women you'd have sex with你会跟她上♥床♥的三个女人if your wife suddenly died of cancer.简直有病That's fucking sick.那可是我孩子的妈啊Come on. That's the mother of my children.嗯我知道Oh, I know.不过要列的话嗯她是第一个But I'll play. Yes, she'd be at the top of that list.就像天上掉下的林妹妹了解It's like a gift. Yeah.不说我了接着说你这个-But I interrupted you. -Tell me about this one again. 上周塔蒂阿娜穿了条黑色紧身迷你裙God, last week, Tatiana, she comes over,过来找我she's wearing this tight black mini-dress,你知道她跟我说什么了?and you know what she says to me?-慢点说 -什么也没说Tell me slow. No, nothing.因为塔蒂阿娜只想在凌晨3点Because all Tatiana wants to do at 3:00 in the morning 跟我一直不停地搞没时间说话is fucky, fucky, rubber ducky.这女人就是一性♥饥♥渴♥!This chick is insatiable!她想在院子里每种姿势都来一遍She wants it in every position under the sun.主呀你走狗屎运了God, you're so lucky.我们试了老汉推车如坐针毡We do the Wheelbarrow, the Arabian Goggles,金鸡独♥立♥ 观音座莲the Lonesome Dove, the Arsenio Hall,隔岸观火爱神之弓金鸡独♥立♥...the Jelly Donut, the Pastrami Sandwich, the Wolfgang Puck...跟你说吧男的都受不了And let me tell you something, no man is that hungry.什么? 有这么多花样?What? I don't even know what these are.-你已经结婚啦家庭妇男了戴夫 -是啊You're married. You're married, Dave. That's true.总之我俩做的越来越激烈Anyway, we start going at it然后我鼻子就开始流血and it gets so intense that my nose starts bleeding.不能吧Come on.安妮·赖斯笔下的吸血鬼This is Dracula, Anne Rice-type shit在那一刻灵魂附体happening right in front of me.真牛Good for you.等我们做完喘匀了气儿When all is said and done, when we finish up, and the dust settles, 她抬头看着我说she looks up at me, and she says,"米切尔下周二我过来... ""Mitchell, next Tuesday, I am coming back here,"咱俩得好好的干""and we're really going to fuck."日!Yes!日啊! 塔蒂阿娜Yes! Tatiana.妈的米奇啊米奇米奇Fuck. Mitch, Mitch, Mitch.你真是...You're just...这些事儿我都没戏了How did I miss this?疯狂做♥爱♥ 嗑药放纵一切I missed all the sex and the drugs and the bad choices,我他妈急什么啊! 急个什么劲啊!and I just fucking rushed it, didn't I? Wasn't I rushing?你是挺急的You were busy.急着考个好大学Rushing to get into a good college, right?进个好法律学院And then into a good law school.一旦进了个好法律学院Once I got into a good law school,我就想进个好法律事务所I just wanted to get into a good law firm.遇到杰米结婚生了凯拉就完啦I met Jamie, we got married, we had Cara, and that was it. 20多岁时都没享受到现在晚啦I pissed away my 20s, right? Now it's too late.行了别身在福中不知福了你还缺啥啊Look, shitbird. You got it made!火♥辣♥的老婆You have an extremely hot wife,漂亮的房♥子and you got a beautiful house满屋的东西吃的还有孩子that's full of furniture and food and kids.又赚那么多钱And you make a ton of money.晚上下班回家And you come home at the end of the day一屋人都关心你and you're surrounded by people who give a shit about you. 你永远都不会觉得孤独You're never lonely.你还想要什么?What more do you want?想要什么? 听着I'll tell you what I want, okay?我想换种活法儿I want something different.我想像你这么过I want your life, you know?我想要塞布丽娜想要塔蒂阿娜I want Sabrina. I want Tatiana.想和不认识的女人做♥爱♥And sex with strange, new women.你简直就是活在梦里You're living the dream.一年工作一周当演员多幸福How much fun is it being an actor, working one week a year? 我想抽上一整天的大♥麻♥I want to smoke weed all day.我想完整地看完一本书I want to start a book that I actually finish.我想没那么多事儿催命似的I would like to take a nice, solid dump拉个便便都得赶紧的速度解决because I'm not constantly stressed out.我想学学旱冰I want to learn how to rollerblade.我还想嘘一个And I'd like to take a piss.我也想去喷泉那儿吧Me, too. Fountain, fountain, fountain.好吧Perfect.喔!Whoo!这小妞不高兴了This chick does not look happy.我真是挺嫉妒你的生活的I was just saying that I really envy your life.-真的 -我还嫉妒你的呢That's all. I envy yours.你才不呢你就是不想让我郁闷罢了No, you don't. You're just trying to be nice.扯真的我真是嫉妒你I'm not. I do, I envy it.我嫉妒你No. I envy yours.我想过上你的生活I wish I had your life.分片儿停电?it's rolling blackouts or something?可能吧Yeah, I guess.看你嘘的又高又远Look at your flow, it's so nice and thick.身强体壮啊It's confident.-你的热气腾腾的 -谢谢Yours is very steamy. Thanks.我的泌尿大夫说我是热性尿My urologist says I run a little hot.-好了没? -好了Good to go? Oh, yeah.-你还能开车么? -没问题!Can you drive? Oh, yeah!大爷的!Holy fuck-knuckles!我的钟呢?Where is my bong?谁他妈的孩子?Whose fucking kid is that?这他妈什么枕头啊这是?What is with all these goddamn pillows?杰米! 天哪!Jamie! Jesus!-怎么了? -太他妈恶心了!What? That's fucking disgusting!赶紧盖上又不是在非洲!Put those tits away, this isn't Africa!我怎么在这儿? 我昨晚没走?What am I doing in this bed? Did I sleep here last night? 我搞你了?Did I fucking nail you?还没醒酒呢?Are you still drunk?戴夫!Dave!洛克伍德跑哪儿去了?Where is Lockwood?搞什么飞机?What the fuck?哦天哪Oh, my God.我变成戴夫了?I'm Dave?我日啊!Oh, my God!开开门戴夫!Open the goddamn door, Dave.赶紧的开门快!Come on, open up the door, right now.擦Fuck.快点兄弟赶紧把门打开Come on, buddy, open up the door immediately.速度点儿Let's do it.戴夫! 速度开门!Dave, come on. Open up the door, right now!-行了我醒了 -快他妈的开门!-Okay, I'm awake. -Open up this fucking door!快他妈开门戴夫!Open the goddamn door, Dave!米奇?Mitch?我怎么在你的公♥寓♥?Why am I in your apartment?戴夫赶紧的开门!Dave, hurry up, open up the door!这事儿太邪了看见我你就知道了-Something very bad has happened. -Wait until you see me. -看见你自己你就知道了! -我勒个去着什么急Wait until you see you! Jesus Christ, relax.太邪了哥们儿快开门!-Super freaky, dude. -Let's do it!哦Oh.他妈怎么回事?What the hell is this?我就知道哦天哪I knew it. Oh, my God.猫了个咪滴这他妈怎么回事?Jesus Christ, what the fuck is this?瞧瞧吧Look at this.没错我就是你Yeah, it's you.你是我鼻子嘴巴都是我的And this is all me. All of this shit is mine.不用谢You're welcome.我现在是个小矮子了I got this.你要干嘛?What are you doing to me?快住手我怎么这么有劲-Hey, stop it. -I'm so strong.你要掐死你自己了You're choking yourself!赶紧醒醒Must wake up.醒醒!Wake up!憋死了快把我的手拿开I can't breathe. Take my hands off you.-醒醒! -滚一边儿去!Wake up! Get the fuck off me!啊! 行了行了别打了!Okay, okay, okay!去照照镜子快!Go look in the mirror. Right there!明白了?All right?我变成傻子了I'm a douche bag.我他妈就是个洋娃娃!I'm a fucking tool!噢! 你干啥了都?Oh! What did you do?我♥干♥啥了? 你以为我想变成你啊? What did I do? You think I want to be you?谁说我想变成你的!Who said I wanted to be you?日咱俩说的Holy shit, we did.咱俩说的想要过对方的生活We wished for each other's lives昨晚在那个鬼喷泉里嘘嘘的时候when we were pissing in that fucking fountain last night.咱俩说想要过过对方的生活We wished we had each other's lives.我只是不想你郁闷而已!I was just trying to be nice!上帝啊!Oh, my God!到喷泉有条近道!I know a shortcut to the fountain.这边!Go this way.看车! 慢点开Careful! Easy.知道了知道了I got it. I got it.到了喷泉然后呢?What are we going to do when we get to the fountain?接着朝里面嘘嘘We're going to take a piss in it, or...我才不管呢咱俩得换回来I don't give a shit. We're gonna get our lives back.开什么国际玩笑You've got to be kidding me.嗨! 喷泉呢?Hey, where is the fountain?重建了It is getting restored.什么重建? 搬哪儿去了?What are you talking about, restored? Where did you take it? 不知道我只管把这儿填平I don't know, guy, I just fill the hole.我又不是喷泉发言人I'm not the fountain spokesman.你大爷的...Hey, motherfucker...谁谁知道喷泉搬哪儿了?Whoa, whoa, who could tell us where it is?问问区管委会吧Maybe ask the district manager.没有没查到Nope. It is not in the computer.嗯什么时候能查到?Okay, when will it be in the computer?明天? 明天维克托就回来了Maybe tomorrow. That's when Victor gets back.没在公园里电脑里也查不到It's not in the computer, it's not in the park.谁是维克托?Who is Victor?知道档案存在哪个盘里的人The guy that knows how to find shit in the computer.你们怎么能搞丢个喷泉?How can you lose a fountain?-这对我们很重要明白? -这可是个喷泉啊!This is a big deal to us, okay? I mean, it's a fountain!-能不能再仔细查查? -简直不可想象!Can you look a little bit harder? That's incredible!查不到It is not in the computer.你摆个臭脸给谁看...Yeah, but your attitude is right on your shoulders.别激动! 别介!No, no, no!不要有肢体接触There was no physical contact.没事了没事了We're okay. We're fine. We're fine.45分钟后我有个这辈子最重要的会我完啦I have the biggest meeting in my life in 45 minutes. This isn't happening. 你今天有什么安排?Did you have something you wanted to do today?今天也是我演出的大日子I've got day one of my big break movie.我要是不去开会就不能成为合伙人If I don't make this meeting, I don't make partner,这15年我就白干了!and the last 15 years of my life, everything I've done, wasted!好吧我去All right, fine, I'll do it.明白了我去I've got it. I'll do it.-我来演你 -干什么?I got you. Do what?我是个演员啊人型变色龙I'm an actor. Human chameleon.睡着了我都能演律师给我你的钥匙I can do lawyer in my fucking sleep. Give me the keys.哦你想出演"我"这个角色?Oh, you'll play me in one of your productions?-嗯给我钥匙 -不行Yeah, give me the keys. Okay, no.-为什么? -因为你...Why? Because you're...注意言辞啊Careful.因为电视上演的那些远远不够米奇Because there's more to being a lawyer than what you see on TV, Mitch. -真的? -当然Is there? Yeah.-我反对! -哦天哪I object! Oh, my God.-怎么样? -不怎么样!Okay? No!这么不行啊兄弟你都不知道做律师的首要原则是什么Wrong, my friend. You don't know the first thing about being a lawyer. 你又不是个有经验的演员You're not a trained actor.你是? !Neither are you.试试吧戴夫就一天Save it, all right, Dave?咱俩可是米奇戴夫二人组啊!It's one day. We're Mitch and Dave!就一天咱俩干什么不行啊快给我钥匙We can do one day of anything. Give me the keys.没别的主意就听我的走吧Let's go. Do you have a better plan?大爷的好吧Shit. Okay. All right.-你只有41分钟了知道么? -好的!You've got 41 minutes, okay? Great!你去我家穿上我的衣服Go to my house, get dressed in my clothes.然后去我公♥司♥ 找到我的法律助理塞布丽娜Then you go to my office, find my legal associate, Sabrina.从她那儿拿上并购合同Get the merger documents from her,拿到会议室然后...take them to the conference room, and...哦上帝啊合伙人都在那儿Oh, God, the partners are going to be there.听好了一个字都别说Listen, do not say a single word.如果有人问我问题呢?What if somebody asks me a question?没人问你问题They're not going to ask you a damn thing.一旦开始开会你就什么都别说Once the meeting starts, you will continue to say nothing.有人跟你要并购合同时When a partner asks you for the merger documents,你默默地递过去就行了you will then silently hand them over.明白了演个大人物保持我的本色I get it. Play it big, but maintain my reality.-很简单 -不! 你要默默无闻的It's pretty simple. No! You play it small.我费了九个月的劲I have spent the last nine months才做成这桩并购banging out the terms of this deal.你只需要把文件递出去就行了The only thing you have to do is hand over the documents, that's it. 得了吧哥们儿! 激动个屁啊!Dude, easy as fuck.开会时可不能这么说啊米奇You can't say things like that in the meeting, Mitch.好要品行端正True. Good note.你呢去我家所有的资料都在冰箱上For me, you go to my house, okay? All my info is on my fridge.到了片场就去化妆室When you get to the set, you go to hair and makeup,记得好好背背台词and you learn your lines.最重要的是别他妈给我演砸了嗯?Most of all, do not fuck this up for me, all right?这可是我出名的机会啊明白不?This is my big break, my Raging Bull. Do you hear me?你要尊重我的艺术尊重我的生活You respect my art, you respect my life.你也要尊重我的You respect mine.-行了明白了抱一个 -嗯就这样吧Yeah, I got you. Power hug. Come on. Yeah, okay.等等你得去接凯拉-Hold on. -You got to pick up Cara.四点去芭蕾舞教室接凯拉听见了?Pick up Cara from ballet at 4:00, okay?等好儿吧您那I am fucking all over that shit.我勒个去Holy shit.大清早的打高尔夫去洛克伍德?Early morning on the golf course, Lockwood?哈哈! 聪明!Ha-ha! Terrific!啊! 好吃的!Num-nums!我擦真多!Fucking score!都能他妈开个店啦Fucking grocery store.都是给小米奇的Look at all of this for little Mitchie-poo.太棒了!Nice!你在这儿啊Oh, there you are.我把10-19条统计变式重做了别的没动准备好了么?I redid the 10-19 variants, everything else is the same. Ready? 你一定是塞布丽娜吧?。