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上海卷-三年(2017—2019)中考英语满分作文解析

上海卷-三年(2017—2019)中考英语满分作文解析
上海卷-三年(2017—2019)中考英语满分作文解析

作文02 上海卷

2019年

Write at least 60 words according to the given information(根据以下材料,写一篇不少于写一篇不少于60个词的短文,标点符号不占格。)

以下是几位同学在以貌取人,盲从朋友,看待谎言,抉择人生等方面的感悟。请从中选择你比较感兴趣的一条,可结合自己的经历,谈谈你的体会。

Don’t judge people by their looks. Someone could be bad-looking and still be nice. —Katie

When your friend does something stupid, you don't need to follow. —Jackie

Don’t tell a teacher your dog ate your homework, especially if you don’t have a dog. —Alex

Life is like a “choose your own ending” book-you can take whatever adventure you want. — Sally

____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________

2019年上海作文题和以往的出题思路大有不同,让同学们在同一份试卷的阅读篇目中,选择一个主题结合自身实例来写一篇文章。出题思路新颖,角度多样化,学生有了更大选择空间和思考空间,可以说是一次独特的作文命题。分析这十几年来的英语作文题目的变化,可以看到形式虽然变了,主题也从关注自我的生活经历到思考个人素养,社会和谐,简言之:从“自我”到“超我”的转变。

从作文题目可以看出话题选择多,同学们需要排除干扰,快速确定一个话题,然后围绕这个话题去思考是很重要的。确定话题后,注意审题,要结合自己的情况进行表达,可以列举自己身上的或自己遇到小事例进行说明,采用夹叙夹议的方式来写出这篇作文。

Don’t judge a book by its cover

Many people, sometimes myself included, tend to judge a person by his appearances.

I was afraid of my uncle who has a scared tattoo on his arm till my mother told me a “story”. When I was a three-year-old naught boy, I always ran around the neighborhood with my toy saber. Unfortunately, one day I hit a wild dog by accident. The dog became crazy and tried to bite me. It was that time my uncle appeared and protected me with his strong arm. However, this accident left a scar on his arm. My uncle went to get a tattoo in order to cover up the scars. From that moment, he is my hero in stead of a bad looking uncle.

So we ne ed to go beyond people’s looks and focus on more internal spirits in order to truly judge a person.

【名师点评】

这篇作文要求选择一个主题,结合自身经历来写一篇文章,题目形式新颖,看似无从下手,难度较高。但是认真审题之后会发现这四个选题与生活息息相关,都是生活中会遇到的事情,“以貌取人,盲从朋友,看待谎言,抉择人生”都是一些生活感悟。这就需要同学们结合自身经历,展开思考,选择积极的价值取

向来写这篇作文。故本文的体裁与前三年的一致,为“夹叙夹议”。这篇作文的框架为三段式,第一段点题,表明自己所选的主题,引出下文要讲述的生活实例。第二段具体描述生活实例的发展过程,事例要求完整,表达逻辑清楚,层次分明,不要流水账式的叙述,或者使得人摸不着头脑,不知所云。注意是讲述已经发生过的生活事件,所以应采用一般过去时。第三段,引出感悟,升华文章主旨。写作时应注意使用一些具有亮点的词汇和句子,为文章增添色彩,突显自己的写作水平,其次注意语句之间使用恰当的连接成分,使文意上下连贯,表达流畅。

【写作亮点】

这是一篇优秀且能打动人的的作文,短文作者根据题目要求,选取了主题“不以貌取人”表现了作者积极的人生观和价值取向。短文有以下几个优点:首先文章内容完整,思路清晰,符合题目要求。第一段用一句话简单引出话题说明生活中存在一些以貌取人的不好现象,自己也曾以貌取人,引发大家的思考,使读者对下文产生好奇。第二段作者主要讲述了发生在自己身上的一件事情。作者第一句交代了事件的大概,“I was afraid of my uncle who has a scared tattoo on his arm”由自己叔叔胳膊上的一块伤疤,吸引读者眼球,接着又用妈妈告诉自己的一个故事为下文埋下伏笔。接着就阐述了时间发生的具体过程,满足大家的好奇心,内容层次清楚,表现了作者较强的逻辑结构。作者用时间状语从句“When I was a three-year-old naught boy, I always ran around the neighborhood with my toy saber. ”交代了事件发生的事件地点,时间是在自己三岁的时候,地点是在街区。另外作者只用了简单的副词“Unfortunately”,连词“However”短语“From that moment”就使得整个事件结构清楚,可谓基本功扎实。第三段用So引出结论,表明观点,升华文章的主题。

2018年

Write at least 60 words on the topic "My progress"(以"进步了"为题,写一篇不少于60个词的短文,标点符号不占格。)

你在生活或学习中一定取得过不少进步,比如生活技能的获得、学习方法的掌握、良好习慣的养成。请选取其中一个方面,结合自身经历,谈一谈你是如何取得这一进步的。

注意:短文中不得出现任何人名、校名及其它相关信息,否则不予评分。

The following is for reference only (以下表达仅供参考)

used to do/be…try my best to do…make progress in( doing)…

____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________

2018年上海卷中考作文仍沿袭近几年中考作文命题的趋势,关注自我成长,仍然从第一人称"我"出发,考题十分贴近学生的成长经历和真实情感。写作主题突出传递正能量,力求学生发现生活中积极的一面,考察学生用英语表达自己思想的能力。相较过去,我有什么进步?"My progress"可以是学习生活技能上的,也可以是个人习惯上的,学生需思考自身通过怎样的努力实现了自我的进步与成长。

I used to write badly, especially in English. It affected my performance every composition. I felt annoyed because I didn’t know how to do it.

Several months ago, our English teacher reminded us to pay attention to our English Writing. He prepared a copybook for each student. We were asked to practice every day. I tried my best to copy well. The teacher encouraged me and kept on telling me what to do next. With the help of my English teacher, I made progress in writing.

No pains no gains. I will study hard to achieve greater progress and I believe I will do better and better.

本文属于写人叙事类话题类作文,话题是"My progress"。主要根据自身的经历,谈谈如何取得进步的,具体内容可以围绕生活技能的获得、学习方法的掌握、良好习慣的养成方面去写。所给范文写了自己在"英语书写"方面的进步,人称是第一人称,讲述的是已经发生的事情,所以用一般过去时,在文章结尾作者表达自己以后会更加努力,取得更大的进步,所以用一般将来时。全文采用"What—How—Conclusion"的三步写作思路来完成,条理清楚,结构完整,语言简洁明了。

本文第一段作者先引出话题,说自己在书写方面做的不好,但自己不知如何改进,"I felt annoyed because I didn’t know how to do it. "为下文自己在书写方面的进步作出铺垫,思路清晰。第二段主要叙述了自己是如何取得进步的过程。几个月前,在英语老师的帮助下,自己取得了很大的进步,交代清楚了事情发生的时间,人物,经过,结果符合叙事类作文的基本要点。作者采用时间状语Several months ago,动词短语pay attention to,介词短语With the help of 简要清楚地表达了自己进步的经历,语言朴实无华,却能阐明事情的经过。第三段主要是升华主题,表达自己在未来会更加努力学习,取得更大的进步,"I will study hard to achieve greater progress and I believe I will do better and better."。谚语"No pains no gains."使用恰当准确,为文章在结尾添彩。

2017年

Write at least 60 words on the topic “There’s always hope”(以“常怀希望”为题,写一篇不少于60个词的短文,标点符号不占格)

面临困惑的时候、经历变化的时候、感觉挫败的时候、遭遇逆境的时候……来自内心的坚持、他人的帮助、社会的关爱和科技的发展等,总能让人常怀希望。请选取一个方面谈谈你的理解(可结合自身或他人的经历)。

The following is for reference only (以下表达仅供参考)

●get out of difficulty

●give … a hand

●never lose hope

____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________

2017年的中考英语作文要求考生围绕“希望”这个话题,以《常怀希望》为题目写一篇考场作文,初看似曾相识,但其涉及的内容非常广泛,其实本类型的考题可以归为“励志类”作文。对于正在成长的希望少年们,hope是绝对的正能量,传递积极正面的“never give up”精神。学生可结合自身的经历,表达自己在学习或生活中的感悟。写作主题突出传递正能量,更主要的是考查了学生用英语表达自己思想的能力。学生可以选择一个角度完成写作,如自己内心的坚持、旁人的无私帮助、社会各方面的关爱等确定短文的体裁和表达的中心。从历年上海中考英语作文题目可以看出,出题形式还是很有规律的,多为半命题或全命题,不论何种体裁,内容都是以“I”为主体,强调“我”,即个体的能动性,给中学生传达相当强的正能量和积极向上的一面。学生在写作时可以列提纲,因为此类文章采取“三段式”写作最为清晰明朗。首段,引出话题和主旨在作文时,中间段,举出自己所经历的具体事例;末段,总结全篇,前后呼应。写作时要注意上下文的衔接过渡,适当地使用些高级词汇及句式,给文章增添些许亮色。

There’s always hope

There’s no doubt that life is full of difficulties. However, just as the saying goes that when god closes a door, he opens a window.

It was really a hard time for me to prepare for the entrance exam, I met with a lot of difficulties, especially physics. In fact, I used to lose confidence in this subject for several low marks. Fortunately, at this time, my teacher told me that I could surely make it in the end. It was her encouragement that made me make up my mind to learn physics with great efforts. Difficult as it was, I have never given up since then.

Where there’s a will, there’s a way! As long as we never give up, there’s always hope.

【名师点评】

本文作者能够认真审题,看清楚所给作文题目所表达的含义,抓住关两个关键词:“hope”, ”always”紧扣主题。作者采用第一人称,时态采用一般现在时和一般过去时。首段运用一般现在时,引出话题和主旨,“There’s no doubt that life is full of difficulties”说明生活中总是充满困难,并引用谚语为文章首段增添了文采,第二段作者主要运用了一般过去时,描述了自己在准备试时遇到困难,老师鼓励他,使他下定决心去努力学习,最终在逆境之中获取胜利与成长的。第三段运用了一般现在时总结全文,前后呼应,引用谚语,进一步提高了文章的文采。

【写作亮点】

本文采用各种表示因果关系和递进关系的连词,如:in that, for the sake of, on all accounts等,是文章条理清楚,更具有逻辑性。其次海应用了大量的词组,如:be supposed to, tend to, face up to, spare no effort to 等为文章增添了文采。作者还在写作过程中,运用大量的定语从句,倒装句,强调句以及固定句型等使得文章的句式丰富,增加了文章的亮点色。

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最新2017中考满分作文900字及点评

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