Unit 10 Satire in Literature
The Immortal Bard
Isaac Asimov
“Oh, yes,” said Dr. Phineas Welch, “I can bring back the spirits of the illustrious dead.”
He was a little drunk, or maybe he wouldn?t have said it. Of course, it was perfectly all right to get a little drunk at the annual Christmas party.
Scott Robertson, the school?s young English instructor, adjusted his glasses and looked to right and left to see if they were overheard.
“Really, Dr. Welch.”
“I mean it. And not just the spirits. I bring back the bodies, too.”
“I wouldn?t have said it were possible,” said Robertson primly.
“Why not? A simple matter of temporal transference.”
“You mean time travel? But that?s quite—uh—unusual.”
“Not if you know how.”
“Well, how, Dr. Welch?”
“Think I?m going to tell you?” asked the physicist gravely. He looked vaguely about for another drink and didn?t find any. He said, “I brought quite a few back. Archimedes, Newton, Galileo. Poor fellows.”
“Didn?t they like it here? I should think they?d have been fascinated by our modern science,” said Robertson. He was beginning to enjoy the conversation.
“Oh, they were. They were. Especially Archimedes. I thought he?d go mad with joy at first after I explained a little of it in some Greek I?d boned up on, but no—no—”
“What was wrong?”
“Just a different culture. They couldn?t get used to our way of life. They got terribly lonely and frightened. I had to send them back.”
“That?s too bad.”
“Yes. Great minds, but not flexible minds. Not universal. So I tried Shakespeare.”
“What?” yelled Robertson. This was getting closer to home.
“Don?t yell, my boy,” said Welch. “It?s bad manners.”
“Did you say you brought back Shakespeare?”
“I did. I needed someone with a universal mind; someone who knew people well enough to be able to live with them centuries away from his own time. Shakespeare was the man. I?ve got his signature. As a memento, you know.”
“On you?” asked Robertson, eyes bugging.
“Right here.” Welch fumbled in one vest pocket after another. “Ah, here it is.”
A little piece of pasteboard was passed to the instructor. On one side it said: “L. Klein & Sons, Wholesale Hardware.” On t he other side, in straggly script, was written, “Willm Shakesper.”
A wild surmise filled Robertson. “What did he look like?”
“Not like his pictures. Bald and an ugly mustache. He spoke in a thick brogue. Of course, I did my best to please him with our times. I told him we thought highly of his plays and still put them on the boards. In fact, I said we thought they were the greatest pieces of literature in the English language, maybe in any language.”
“Good. Good,” said Robertson breat hlessly.
“I said people had written volumes of commentaries on his plays. Naturally he wanted to see one and I got one for him from the library.”
“And?”
“Oh, he was fascinated. Of course, he had trouble with the current idioms and references to events since 1600, but I helped out. Poor fellow. I don?t think he ever expected such treatment. He kept saying, …God ha? mercy!
What cannot be racked from words in five centuries?
One could wring, methinks, a flood from a damp clout!”
“He wouldn?t say that.”
“Why not? He wrote his plays as quickly as he could. He said he had to on account of the deadlines. He wrote Hamlet in less than six months. The plot was an old one. He just polished it up.”
“That?s all they do to a telescope mirror. Just polish it up,” said the English instructor indignantly.
The physicist disregarded him. He made out an untouched cocktail on the bar some feet away and sidled toward it. “I told the immortal bard that we even gave college courses in Shakespeare.”
“I give one.”
“I know. I enrolled him in your evening extension course. I never saw a man so eager to find out what posterity thought of him as poor Bill was. He worked hard at it.”
“You enrolled William Shakespeare in my course?” mumbled Robertson. Even as an alcoholic fantasy, the thought staggered him. And was it an alcoholic fantasy? He was beginning to recall a bald man with a queer way of talking...
“Not under his real name, of course,” said Dr. Welch. “Never mind what he went under. It was a mistake, t hat?s all. A big mistake. Poor fellow.” He had the cocktail now
and shook his head at it.
“Why was it a mistake? What happened?”
“I had to send him back to 1600,” roared Welch indignantly. “How much humiliation do you think a man can stand?”
“What humiliation are you talking about?”
Dr. Welch tossed off the cocktail. “Why, you poor simpleton, you flunked him.”
不朽的诗人
1 “哦，对了，”菲尼亚斯韦尔奇博士说，“我可以使那些故去的名人还魂。”
2 他有点醉了，不然他不会这样胡说。当然，一年一度的圣诞聚会，喝得有点醉也是无可厚非的。
3 斯科特罗伯逊，某学校年轻的英文讲师，整整眼镜，环顾左右，看看是否有人无意间听到他们之间的谈话。
4 “当真啊，韦尔奇博士。”
5 “我是当真的。还不只是灵魂，我还能使他们的肉体复生。”
6 “我觉得这不可能，”罗伯逊一本正经地说。
7 “为什么不可能？这只不过是简单的时间转移。”
8 “你是说时空旅行？那真是太——呃——离奇了。”
9 “会者不难嘛。”
10 “那怎么做呢，韦尔奇博士？”
11 “你以为我会告诉你吗？”物理学家严肃地说。他心不在焉地环顾四周，想再找酒喝，但没有找到。他说：“我已经让好几个人回来过了：阿基米德，牛顿，伽利略。这帮可怜的家伙。”
12 “他们不喜欢这里吗？我还以为他们会对这儿的现代科学着迷呢，”罗伯逊说。他已经开始喜欢他们之间的谈话了。
13 “哦，是的，他们是着迷了，尤其是阿基米德。我特意温习了一下希腊文，给他解释一点现代科学，我以为他听了会高兴得发狂，可是没有……没有……”
14 “出什么岔子啦？”
15 “就是文化差异，他们不习惯我们的生活方式，他们感到非常孤独，还怕得要死。我只好把他们送回去了。”
16 “真糟糕”。
17 “是啊。伟大的智者，但头脑不灵活，不能随遇而安。所以我试了试莎士比亚。”
18 “什么？”罗伯逊喊起来。这下真的触动他了。
19 “别喊，老兄，”韦尔奇说。“多不雅啊。”
20 “你说你把莎士比亚弄回来了？”
21 “没错。我需要一个随遇而安的智者。一个了解人世，能与相隔几个世纪的人共同生活的人。莎士比亚正是那样的人。我有他的签名。作为一个纪念，你知道。”
22 “你带着吗？”罗伯逊问，眼睛瞪得老大。
23 “就在这里。”韦尔奇把马甲口袋一个个摸过来。“啊，在这儿。”
24 他将一个小小的硬纸片递给这位讲师。一面上写着：“L.克莱因父子五金批发公司。”另一面上字迹潦草地写着：“Willm Shakesper。”
25 罗伯逊满腹狐疑。“他看上去怎么样？”
26 “跟图片上的不一样，秃头，长着难看的八字须。说话满口土腔。当然，我竭力使他喜欢我们的时代。我告诉他我们都很欣赏他的戏剧，而且还在上演。我跟他说事实上我们认为他的戏剧是英国文学中，也许是全世界，最伟大的文学作品。”
27 “说得好！说得好！”罗伯逊呼吸急促地说。
28 “我告诉他人们为他的戏剧写的评论一本又一本，数不胜数。他自然想看一本，所以我就从图书馆弄了一本给他。”
29 “然后呢？”
30 “哦，他着迷了。当然，他不懂那些现代用语，也不知道1600年以来发生的事情，不过我帮他解决了。可怜的家伙。我想他是想不到会受到这种待遇的。他不断地说：‘啊，我的上帝！在五个世纪的时间里还有什么不能从文字里榨出来呢？吾以为，人们都能从一块湿布中拧出洪水来了。’”
31 “他不会那样说的。”
32 “为什么不会？他写剧本时写得非常快。他说因为交稿期限的缘故，他不得不这样。他花了不到6个月时间完成了《哈姆雷特》的写作。情节是老的，他只是润色加工，使其亮丽些。”
33 “那是人们对望远镜镜片干的活，擦一擦让它亮丽些，”这位英文讲师愤慨地说。
34 物理学家没有理他的碴。他看到几英尺远的吧台上有一杯没有喝过的鸡尾酒，侧着身慢慢走过去。“我告诉这位不朽的诗人我们大学里还开莎士比亚课呢。”
35 “我就开了一门。”
36 “我知道。我帮他在你上的夜校课注了册。我从来没有看到像可怜的比尔那样如此急于知道后人是怎么看他的。他学得很认真。”
37 “你让威廉莎士比亚上我的课？”罗伯逊咕哝道。即使这只是酒精作用下的一种幻觉，这种想法还是令他吃惊。再说，这是酒精作用下的幻觉吗？他开始回忆起一个秃头的人，说话怪怪的……
38 “当然，没有用他的真名，”韦尔奇博士说。“他用什么名字没有关系。这是一个错误，仅此而已。一个巨大的错误。可怜的家伙。”他现在已经拿到鸡尾酒了，对着酒摇摇头。
39 “为什么是个错误？出了什么事？”
40 “我不得不将他送回到1600年，”韦尔奇愤怒地吼道。“你认为一个人能够忍受多大程度的羞辱？”
41 “你说的羞辱指什么？”
42 韦尔奇博士将鸡尾酒一饮而尽。“哎呀，你这可怜的傻瓜。你给了他一个不及格。”
Running for Governor
A few months ago I was nominated for Governor of the great State of New York, to run against Stewart L. Woodford and John T. Hoffman, on an independent ticket. I somehow felt that I had one prominent advantage over these gentlemen, and that was, good character. It was easy to see by the newspapers, that if ever they had known what it was to bear a good name, that time had gone by. It was plain that in these latter years they had become familiar with all manner of shameful crimes. But at the very moment that I was exalting my advantage and joying in it in secret, there was a muddy undercurrent of discomfort "riling" the deeps of my happiness -- and that was, the having to hear my name bandied about in familiar connection with those of such people. I grew more and more disturbed. Finally I wrote my grandmother about it. Her answer came quick and sharp. She said:
You have never done one single thing in all your life to be ashamed of -- not one. Look at the newspapers -- look at them and comprehend what sort of characters Woodford and Hoffman are, and then see if you are willing to lower yourself to their level and enter a public canvass with them.
It was my very thought! I did not sleep a single moment that night. But after all, I could not recede. I was fully committed and must go on with the fight. As I was looking listlessly over the papers at breakfast, I came across this paragraph, and I may truly say I never was so confounded before:
PERJURY. -- Perhaps, now that Mr. Mark Twain is before the people as a candidate for Governor, he will condescend to explain how he came to be convicted of perjury by thirty-four witnesses, in Wakawak, Cochin China, in 1863, the intent of which perjury was to rob a poor native widow and her helpless family of a meagre plantain patch, their only stay and support in their bereavement and their desolation. Mr. Twain owes it to himself, as well as to the great people whose suffrages he asks, to clear this matter up. Will he do it?
I thought I should burst with amazement! Such a cruel, heartless charge -- I never had seen Cochin China! I never had beard of Wakawak! I didn't know a plantain patch from a kangaroo! I did not know what to do. I was crazed and helpless. I let the day slip away without doing anything at all. The next morning the same paper had this -- nothing more:
SIGNIFICANT. -- Mr. Twain, it will be observed, is suggestively silent about the Cochin China perjury.
[Mem. -- During the rest of the campaign this paper never referred to me in any other way than as "the infamous perjurer Twain."]
Next came the "Gazette," with this:
WANTED TO KNOW. -- Will the new candidate for Governor deign to explain to certain of his fellow-citizens (who are suffering to vote for him!) the little circumstance of his cabin-mates in Montana losing small valuables from time to time, until at last, these things having been invariably found on Mr. Twain's person or in his "trunk" (newspaper he rolled his traps in), they felt compelled to give him a friendly admonition for his own good, and so tarred and feathered him and rode him on a rail, and then advised him to leave a permanent vacuum in the place he usually occupied in the camp. Will he do this?
Could anything be more deliberately malicious than that? For I never was in Montana in my life.
[After this, this journal customarily spoke of me as "Twain, the Montana Thief."]
I got to picking up papers apprehensively -- much as one would lift a desired blanket which he had some idea might have a rattlesnake under it. One day this met my eye:
THE LIE NAILED! -- By the sworn affidavits of Michael O'Flanagan, Esq., of the Five Points, and Mr. Kit Burns and Mr. John Allen, of Water street, it is established that Mr. Mark Twain's vile statement that the lamented grandfather of our noble standard-bearer, John T. Hoffman, was hanged for highway robbery, is a brutal and gratuitous LIE, without a single shadow of foundation in fact. It is disheartening to virtuous men to see such shameful means resorted to to achieve political success as the attacking of the dead in their graves and defiling their honored names with slander. When we think of the anguish this miserable falsehood must cause the innocent relatives
and friends of the deceased, we are almost driven to incite an outraged and insulted public to summary and unlawful vengeance upon the traducer. But no -- let us leave him to the agony of a lacerating conscience -- (though if passion should get the better of the public and in its blind fury they should do the traducer bodily injury, it is but too obvious that no jury could convict and no court punish the perpetrators of the deed).
The ingenious closing sentence had the effect of moving me out of bed with despatch that night, and out at the back door, also, while the "outraged and insulted public" surged in the front way, breaking furniture and windows in their righteous indignation as they came, and taking off such property as they could carry when they went. And yet I can lay my hand upon the Book and say that I never slandered Governor Hoffman's grandfather. More -- I had never even heard of him or mentioned him, up to that day and date.
[I will state, in passing, that the journal above quoted from always referred to me afterward as "Twain, the Body-Snatcher."]
The next newspaper article that attracted my attention was the following:
A SWEET CANDIDATE. -- Mark Twain, who was to make such a blighting speech at the mass meeting of the Independents last night, didn't come to time! A telegram from his physician stated that he had been knocked down by a runaway team and his leg broken in two places -- sufferer lying in great agony, and so forth, and so forth, and a lot more bosh of the same sort. And the Independents tried hard to swallow the wretched subterfuge and pretend that they did not know what was the real reason of the absence of the abandoned creature whom they denominate their standard-bearer. A certain man was seen to reel into Mr. Twain's hotel last night in state of beastly intoxication. It is the imperative duty of the Independents to prove that this besotted brute was not Mark Twain himself: We have them at last! This is a case that admits of no shirking. The voice of the people demands in thunder-tones: "WHO WAS THAT MAN?
It was incredible, absolutely incredible, for a moment, that it was really my name that was coupled with this disgraceful suspicion. Three long years had passed over my head since I had tasted ale, beer, wine, or liquor of any kind.
[It shows what effect the times were having on me when I say that I saw myself confidently dubbed "Mr. Delirium Tremens Twain" in the next issue of that journal
without a pang -- notwithstanding I knew that with monotonous fidelity the paper would go on calling me so to the very end.]
By this time anonymous letters were getting to be an important part of my mail matter. This form was common:
How about that old woman you kiked of your premisers which was beging.
POL PRY.
And this:
There is things which you have done which is unbeknowens to anybody but me. You better trot out a few dols. to yours truly or you'll hear thro' the papers from
HANDY ANDY.
That is about the idea. I could continue them till the reader was surfeited, if desirable.
Shortly the principal Republican journal "convicted" me of wholesale bribery, and the leading Democratic paper "nailed" an aggravated case of blackmailing to me.
[In this way I acquired two additional names: "Twain, the Filthy Corruptionist," and "Twain, the Loathsome Embracer."]
By this time there had grown to be such a clamor for an "answer" to all the dreadful charges that were laid to me, that the editors and leaders of my party said it would be political ruin for me to remain silent any longer. As if to make their appeal the more imperative, the following appeared in one of the papers the very next day:
BEHOLD THE MAN! -- The Independent candidate still maintains Silence. Because he dare not speak. Every accusation against him has been amply proved, and they have been endorsed and re-endorsed by his own eloquent silence till at this day he stands forever convicted. Look upon your candidate, Independents! Look upon the Infamous Perjurer! the Montana Thief! the Body-Snatcher! Contemplate your incarnate Delirium Tremens! your Filthy Corruptionist! your Loath some Embracer! Gaze upon him -- ponder him well -- and then say if you can give your honest votes to a creature who has earned this dismal array of titles by his hideous crimes, and dares not open his mouth in denial of any one of them!
There was no possible way of getting out of it, and so, in deep humiliation, I set about preparing to "answer" a mass of baseless charges and mean and wicked falsehoods. But I never finished the task, for the very next morning a paper came out with a new horror, a fresh malignity, and seriously charged me with burning a lunatic asylum with all its inmates because it obstructed the view from my house. This threw me into a sort of panic. Then came the charge of poisoning my uncle to get his property, with an imperative demand that the grave should be opened. This drove me to the verge of distraction. On top of this I was accused of employing toothless and incompetent old relatives to prepare the food for the foundling hospital when I was warden. I was wavering -- wavering. And at last, as a due and fitting climax to the shameless persecution that party rancor had inflicted upon me, nine little toddling children of all shades of color and degrees of raggedness were taught to rush on to the platform at a public meeting and clasp me around the legs and call me PA!
I gave up. I hauled down my colors and surrendered. I was not equal to the requirements of a Gubernatorial campaign in the State of New York, and so I sent in my withdrawal from the candidacy, and in bitterness of spirit signed it,
"Truly yours,
"Once a decent man, but now
"MARK TWAIN, I. P., M. T., B. S., D. T., F. C., and L. E."
竞选州长
1几个月前我被提名作为独立党候选人，竞选伟大的纽约州州长，我的竞争对手是斯图尔特·L．伍德福德和约翰·T．霍夫曼。跟这些先生们比起来，我有一个重要的优势，那就是我的人品好。但就在我庆幸自己这一优势的时刻，有一股令人不安的浊流在“扰乱”我内心深处的幸福，那就是：我不得不听到自己的名字与这类人的名字相提并论。
2当我一边吃早饭一边没精打采地浏览报纸时，我看到了这么一段，我从没有这样惊讶过：伪证罪——既然-5克·吐温先生现在要竞选州长，也许他应该向大家解释清楚在1863年他在交趾支那的瓦卡瓦克被34个证人指证犯了伪证罪一事。作伪证的企图是要掠夺一小块大蕉地，该地属于当地一位可怜的寡妇，而且是她家唯一的生计。马克·吐温先生应该澄清此亨。他会吗?
3我感到莫名其妙，这是从何谈起呀!如此残忍、无情的指控。我从未去过交趾支那!我甚至不知道大蕉地和袋鼠有何不同!我不知道该怎么办。我让这一天不知不觉地过去了，什么事都没做。第二天早上还是这份报纸刊登了下面一句话——就这么一句话：值得注意——吐温
先生就交趾支那伪证罪保持沉默，令人怀疑。【注：在整个竞选过程中这份报纸称我为“臭名昭著的作伪证者吐温”。】
4接着((报纸》登了以下一则新闻：想知道——新的州长候选人能否向本州居民解释一下这件事情：在蒙大拿州时跟他住在一起的人时不时丢失一些小的贵重物品。这些物品后来发现已为吐温先生所拥有。于是人们让他离开营地。他愿对此作解释吗?
5我一生中从未到过蒙大拿州。【此后，这份报纸就一直称我为“吐温，蒙大拿小偷”。】
6我巳变得一拿起报纸就胆战心惊——就像一个人知道毯子下面可能会有响尾蛇，但还是很想掀开它一样。一天，我看到下面一则新闻：谎言戳穿!——五点地区尊敬的迈克尔·欧·弗拉纳根律师、水街的基特·彭斯先生和约翰·艾伦先生的誓词，戳穿了马克·吐温先生的可耻谎言，谎言称我们尊贵的候选人约翰·T．霍夫曼的祖父因拦路抢劫而被绞死。说谎者真是人面兽心，用这么卑鄙的手段求得政治上的成功，这实在令人心寒。这种卑劣的谎言给死者无辜的亲友所遣成的痛苦应该激起公众的愤怒，受到侮辱的公众应该对说谎者进行报复。但是不要这样——我们要让他经受内疚的折磨。
7我敢发誓我从来没有诽谤过约翰·T．霍夫曼的祖父。【此后，登载上述消息的报纸一直称我为“吐温，鞭尸者”。】
8下一篇引起我注意的报刊文章这样写道：“温文而雅”的候选人——原计划昨晚在独立党群众大会上作诽谤性演讲的马克·吐温，结果没有到场!有电报说他被马撞倒，腿部两处骨折，他因此痛苦地躺在床上，等等。独立党人竭力假装不知道自己的候选人缺席的真实原因。昨晚有人看到一个醉鬼跌跌撞撞走进吐温先生入住的酒店。独立党人应该来证明这个醉鬼不是马克·吐温。人们高声问道：“那人是谁?”
9简直不可思议：居然把我的名字与这一不光彩的嫌疑联系在一起。我已有三年没沾过一滴麦芽酒、啤酒、葡萄酒或烈性酒。【在那份报纸的下一期，我看到自己被称作“震颤性谵妄患者吐温先生”。】
10不久，共和党的主要刊物“判处”我犯有贿赂罪，民主党的主要报纸又把一桩讹诈案归罪于我。
11到了这时候要我对那些可怕的指控做出回答的呼声已经沸沸扬扬了，以至于我们党的领袖人物说，如果我继续保持沉默，我在政治上就毁了。就在第二天，其中一份报纸上又出现了下面的报道：
看这个人!——独立党候选人继续保持沉默。对他的每一项指控都得到了证实，同时他自己的沉默也证明指控属实。独立党的成员们，看看你们的候选人吧!臭名昭著的作伪证者!蒙大拿小偷!鞭尸者!考虑考虑你们这位肮脏的腐败分子!——考虑一下——然后再说你们是否会将自己诚实的选票投给这么一个人，一个以其可怕的罪行赢得了众多头衔又不敢否认的人!
12(我)已经不能置身局外，保持沉默了。我着手准备对这些毫无根据的指控以及卑鄙邪恶的谎言作出“回答”。第二天早上又一份报纸指控我放火烧了一所精神病院，连同所有住在里面的病人，就因为这医院挡住了我房前的风景。然后又指控我为了财产而毒死了自己的叔叔。
然后，作为这一系列无耻的陷害最适时、最恰当的高潮，他们怂恿九个肤色不同、衣衫褴褛的小孩向我跑过来，抱住我的腿，叫我爸爸。
13我放弃了。我不够竞选纽约州州长的条件，因此我痛苦地寄出了撤消候选人资格的信，并签名如下：“你忠诚的，
“曾经是体面的人，但现在是
“马克·吐温，臭名昭著的作伪证者，蒙大拿小偷，鞭尸者，震颤性谵妄患者，肮脏的腐败分子，私生子的爸爸”
人与动物
1 一天，一只聪明的狐狸开始觉得奇怪：“为什么人类被看成是天地万物之尊?人类到底哪里比动物优越?人与动物都有情感、激情，有各自的优点、缺点。那么为什么人类就比我们优秀呢?我得去找狮子王，向他请教。”这么想着，狐狸赶紧去了狮子家。狮子说：“多日不见，见到你很高兴!告诉我你来有何贵干?”狐狸谦恭地说：“哦，狮王!人类的权利已经至高无上了，还声称要主宰天地万物!我不能忍受人类这种傲慢，他们自以为比所有的动物都高贵，这也使我无法忍受。我们哪里不如他们?我们就不能让人们承认我们的优越性吗?我们得采取行动。”狮子点点头说：“说得对，亲爱的，那我们该怎么办?”狮子和狐狸商量了很久，最后决定将森林里所有的动物召集起来开会。他们将仔细讨论，人类与动物相比各有哪些优点和缺点。狮子然后对狐狸说：“你去准备这次会议。把所有的动物都请来，大大小小无一例外。但是，谁来主持大会呢?”狐狸答道：“我们的森林里有一位圣人，已经修行了很久。他是人类和动物的共同朋友，他不会有任何偏心或成见。为什么不请他来当会议主席呢?”“就这么办吧，”狮子说。
2狐狸用了一个星期的时间完成了整个计划。森林里一大片空地被清理干净，用来开会。在约定的那一天，动物开始向会议地点络绎而来。很快，所有的动物都在各自的位置上坐好了。圣人也按时到达，坐在了主持人的位置上。狮子和大象站在圣人的两边，狐狸站在与会者的前面。
3作为大会秘书，狐狸向所有与会者表示欢迎：“欢迎大家，并感谢大家参加这次大会。”看了看大会议程，狐狸接着说：“有四个主要议题，要提请大家认真考虑。仔细考虑后，请大家提出自己的意见；因为这些问题关系到我们的尊严，至关重要。第一，人的出生与动物相同，都来自母亲的子宫。那么为什么动物被叫做…兽类?，而人被叫做…人类??他们的称谓应该与我们一样。第二，有一种荒诞的观念，认为人类聪明，动物愚昧。我们不能接受这样的羞辱，这种观念是毫无根据的。第三，人们声称有着最值得庆幸的语言天赋，但是，既然人类在滥用这种天赋，这又有什么值得自豪的?我们缺乏这种天赋吃什么亏啦?尽管我们不会说话，但我们依然能够获取食物，找到住处，养育孩子，幸福地生活。因此，人们不能仅仅因为自诩有这种难得的能力就被看成高我们一等。第四，最后，他们说我们残忍，而人类善良并富有同情心。事实上，我们比人类更善良，更体贴。因此，我们必须驳斥这种没有依据的
说法。”
4读完这些议题后，狐狸回到自己的座位上坐了下来。狮子走上前去，抬起头，庄严地说：“我完全同意议程中提出的观点。我绝不能承认人类在任何方面优于我们。我们先来讨论勇气和力量的问题。人类有谁能够在勇气与力量上比得过我?尽管我是森林之王，唯我独尊，但是我约束自己不做不公平或腐败的事。我不杀害任何动物，除非我饿了。鉴于这样的情况，人类又怎能认为自己比我们优秀呢?”“决不能，决不能，”与会的动物们一致吼道。
5狮子然后回到了他在圣人边上的位置。大象站了起来，大肆鼓吹自己的光辉业绩。“在体型、身材和力量方面，我比人类强多了。站在我边上，人只是一个侏儒。至于智力，大家都认为我头脑敏捷。自古以来，在寺庙或皇宫里，每一个重要的庆典上，我的出场就意味着吉利。事实上，虔诚的人们怀着深深的敬意给我送水果和鲜花。人类怎么能说自己高我们一等呢?”全体与会者一致高呼：“不能，不能。”大象回到了圣人边上的位置。
6接着狗站出来了，他先向大家致敬，然后大声说道：“我有很好的理由认为动物无可否认地超越人类。比如，在爱心、诚信、忠贞等方面，有任何人敢夸口说比狗强吗?就是因为这些难得的品质，人类才豢养我们，把我们当成他们的家庭成员来对待。但是，人类又怎么样呢?他们竟然丝毫没有感恩之情。他们给我们吃便宜的食物，或是他们吃剩的东西。人类对待他所伺候的主人也是忘恩负义到了极点。(主持人)先生，我确信，在这些品性方面我们动物比人类强多了。”说完，狗也回到了自己的座位上。
7现在轮到会议主持人就讨论的问题宣布决定了。圣人站起来说：“我亲爱的朋友们，狗所说的都是对的。人类经常说一套，做一套，这种言行不一在动物身上是找不到的。”所有的动物高兴极了，长时间地鼓掌。圣人接着说：“在食物、睡眠以及类似的生活习惯方面，人类与动物之间毫无差别。但是，两者之间有一个根本区别：动物不能自我改造，而人类能够通过教育、交友和学习并超越他人来改造自己。动物甚至无法改变自己的饮食习惯。”狐狸立即站起来，问道：“哦，主持人，你所说的都对，但是你是否认为所有人都自我改造吗?”圣人说：“嗨，确实，那些不自我改造的人还不如动物。”所有的动物立即鼓掌，为主持人喝彩。圣人继续说：“人类还有一个优点，那就是有辨别能力。”狐狸说：“是的，他们是有辨别能力，那有什么用?他们的恶劣行径甚至连动物都感到羞耻。哦，太遗憾了!人类为了糊口，耗尽自己所有的时间、才华、力量和金钱，而我们动物无须劳动就能弄到食物。”圣人可以看出狐狸在试图突破原定的议题范围，在他们的天性方面大做文章。因此，他说：“哦，亲爱的动物们!我必须告诉你们另一个重要的区别：人类能够克服错误观念。他们能够实现自我，达到不朽。事实上，"man"这个词本身就表示下列这些特性：
M——表示点化能力
A——表示对心灵的洞察力
N——表示无忧无虑的最高境界
通过克服错误观念，获得对心灵的洞察力，人类可以变成神。你们为什么不接受并承认自己的局限性呢?”动物们问他：“哦，智者!你是不是想说所有的人都能利用这三种特性?”“不是，
不是所有人，”圣人答道。“那么那些不能通过克服错误观念、达到最高境界、拥有心灵洞察力的人，必须看成是我们的伙伴，”动物们异口同声、很有把握地说。“哦，亲爱的朋友们!”圣人答道，“我到这片森林来的唯一目的就是成为你们的朋友，证明自己真正属于人类。”
新编大学英语教案(第二册)_U n i t2 C o m m u n i c a t i o n P r o b l e m s -CAL-FENGHAI-(2020YEAR-YICAI)_JINGBIAN
Unit Two Communication problems Teaching Objectives 1. Let the students have some ideas of the common ways we usually use in our daily life to communicate. 2. Make the students find the efficient ways to communicate with each other. 3. Let the students come up with the ways to avoid misunderstandings. Teaching allotment six academic hours Focus points 1.key words and phrases assume, conflict, convey, emphasis, ignore, misinterpret, react, verge, feel like, for effect, on the verge of, pull out, take----lightly 2.difficult sentences 1) When Martians and Venusians first got together, they encountered many of the problems with relationships we have today. 2) So when communication problems emerged, they assumed it was just one of those expected misunderstandings and that with a little assistance they would surely understand each other. 3) To fully express their feelings, women would tend to exaggerate the facts a little bit for effect and use various superlatives, metaphors, and generalizations. 3.grammar focus prefix “mis---”的不同意义 Related Information It is well-known that learning a second language is never easy, and, generally speaking, the older one is when one attempts a new language, the more difficult it becomes. This is at least partly due to what is known as language interference, meaning that the linguistic patterns of our first language interfere with those of the second because no two languages have exactly the same sounds and grammatical structures. The English language has a very large vocabulary because it has incorporated words from many other languages over the centuries. This is nowhere more apparent than in its color words. For example, there are many words that express the color “purple”, describing its different shades and hues: mauve, violet, lilac, or lavender. An interesting 2
Reading comprehension 1略 2 BDCAC AADBB Vocabulary 1. 1) A. entertaining B. entertainment C. entertained D. entertainer 2) A. recognizable B. recognized C. recognition 3) A. tempting B. temptation C. tempt 4) A. reasoned B. reasoning C. reasonable D. reason 5) A. analyzed B. analytical C. analyst D. analysis 6) A. valuable B. valuation C. valued/values D. values 7) A. humorist B. humor C. humorous D. humorless 8) A. understandable B. understanding C. understand D. misunderstood 2. 1) a sense of responsibility 2) a sense of safety/security 3) a sense of inferiority 4) a sense of superiority 5) a sense of rhythm 6) a sense of justice 7) a sense of shame 8) a sense of helplessness 9) a sense of direction 10) a sense of urgency 3. 1) Lively behavior is normal 2) Fast cars appeal to 3) diverse arguments 4) I asked my boss for clarification 5) sensitive to light 6) Mutual encouragement 7) made fun of him 8) persists in his opinion/viewpoint 9) to be the focus/center of attention 10) we buy our tickets in advance 4. 1）certain/sure 2) involved 3) end 4) behavior 5) disciplining 6) agreed 7) individually 8) first 9) response 10) question 11) attempt 12) voice 13) directly 14) followed 15) trouble Unit 2 便笺的力量 Reading comprehension 1略 2 FFTFTFTFTTFTFT Vocabulary 1. Creating Compound Words
新编大学英语3 第二版（课后翻译习题） Unite 1(P17) 1) 你应该适当花一点时间休息和锻炼。 (reasonable ) You should spend a reasonable amount of time relaxing and exercising. 2) 总的来说，孩子们比过去任何时候都更健康，受到了更好的教育。(in general) In general children are healthier and better educated than ever before. 3) 待适当的机会来临，他就能抓住。(come along) When the right opportunity comes along, he’ll take it. 4)每天他都留出点时间跟家里人在一起，享受生活。(set aside) Every day he sets aside some time to be with his family and enjoy life. 5) 我记得那些黑暗的街道以及同父亲手拉手走路的情景。(hand in hand) I remember those dark streets and walking hand in hand with my father. 6) 他最终辜负了父母的期望。(live up to) He finally failed to live up to his parents’ expectations. 7) 相比之下，我们的用油量最大幅度上升了。(in contrast) In contrast, our use of oil has increased enormously. 8) 经过努力，他成功地克服了自己的致命弱点。(overcome) He succeeded in his efforts to overcome his fatal weakness. Unite 3(P113) 1)由于紧急情况，这位医生几个小时内都是没有空。(because of) Because of an emergency, the doctor will not be available for several hours. 2) 税收将会如何影响低收入的人群？(affect) How will taxes affect people with low income? 3) 我母亲总是告诉我，从长远来看我会很高兴我没有放弃练钢琴。(in the long run)
Unit 1 Love Part 2 Reading-Centered Activities *Reading Comprehension 1. Para.1-4 C para.5-7 A para.8-11 B para.12-13 D 2. 1) They would stare at them. 2) He felt embarrassed/ashamed. 3) He never let on. 4) He usually walked there with the help of his son. 5) He was pulled on a child’s sleigh to the subway station. 6) He liked baseball, dances, and parties. 7) He asked them to sit down and fight with him. 8) He was proud of his son. 9) He missed him very much and was sorry for what he had thought about him. 10) He learned to have a good heart from his father. 3. 1) C 2) A 3) C 4) B 5) D 6) A 7) B 8) C 9) D 10) A 4. 1) the difficulty in coordinating the steps 2) whether a person has a good heart 3) a good heart 4) the baseball team 5) sat down to fight 6) what the son has achieved, i.e. serving in the Navy 7) sensed my reluctance to be seen with him during our walks 8) the reluctance to walk with him *Vocabulary 1. 1) urged 2) bother 3) embarrassed 4) adjusted 5) complain 6) kid 7) subject 8) saw to it that 9) coordinate 10) participate in 2. patient--patience enter--entrance Bitter--bitterness complain--complaint Fortunate--fortune envy--envious
Unit 7 The Joy of Travel Transformative Travel Twenty-five years ago I felt like a wreck. Although I was just 23, my life already seemed over. The future appeared as much like a wasteland as the emptiness I could see while looking back to the past. I felt lost, without choices, without hope. I was stuck in a job I hated and trapped in an engagement with a woman I didn't love. At the time, both commitments seemed like a good idea, but I suppose it was the fantasy of being a successful, married businessman that appealed to me far more than the reality. I decided to take a class just for the entertainment value. It happened to be an introductory counseling course, one that involved personal sharing in the group. We were challenged to make commitments publicly about things we would like to change in our lives, and in a moment of pure impulsiveness, I declared that by the next class meeting I was going to quit my job and end my engagement. A few days later I found myself unemployed and unattached, excited by the freedom, yet terrified about what to do next. I needed some kind of transition from my old life to a new one, a sort of ritual that would help me to transform myself from one person into another. So I did something just as impulsive as my previous actions: I booked a trip for a week in Aruba. In spite of what others might have thought, I was not running away from something but to something. I wanted a clean break, and I knew I needed to get away from my usual environment and influences so as to think clearly about where I was headed. Once settled into my room on the little island of Aruba, I began my process of self-change. I really could have been anywhere as long as nobody could reach me by phone and I had the peace and quiet to think about what I wanted to do. I spent the mornings going for long walks on the beach, the afternoons sitting under my favorite tree, reading books and listening to tapes. Probably most important of all, I forced myself to get out of my room and go to meet people. Ordinarily shy, I now decided that I was someone who was perfectly capable of having a conversation with anyone I chose. Since nobody knew the "real" me, the way I had always been, I felt free to be completely different. It took me almost a year to pay off that trip, but I am convinced that my single week in Aruba was worth three years in therapy. That trip started a number of processes that helped me to transform myself. This is how I did it: I created a mindset that made me ready for change. I expected that big things were
Unit 3 Gender Difference Gender Roles from a Cultural Perspective Over the past few decades, it has been proven innumerable times that the various types of behavior, emotions, and interests that constitute being masculine and feminine are patterned by both heredity and culture. In the process of growing up, each child learns hundreds of culturally patterned details of behavior that become incorporated into its gender identity. Some of this learning takes place directly. In other words, the child is told by others how to act in an appropriately feminine or masculine way. Other details of gender behavior are taught unconsciously, or indirectly, as the culture provides different images, aspirations, and adult models for girls and boys. Recently, for example, a study of American public schools showed that there is a cultural bias in education that favors boys over girls. According to the researchers, the bias is unintentional and unconscious, but it is there and it is influencing the lives of millions of schoolchildren every year. Doctors David and Myra Sadker videotaped classroom teachers in order to study gender-related bias in education. Their research showed that many teachers who thought they were nonsexist were amazed to see how biased they appeared on videotape. From nursery school to postgraduate courses, teachers were shown to call on males in class far more than on female students. This has a tremendous impact on the learning process for, in general, those students who become active classroom participants develop more positive attitudes and go on to higher achievement. As a matter of fact, in the late 1960s, when many of the best all-women's colleges in the northeastern United States opened their doors to male students, it was observed by professors and women students alike that the boys were "taking over" the classroom discussions and that active participation by women students had diminished noticeably. A similar subordination of female to male students has also been observed in law and medical school classrooms in recent years. 3 Research done by the Sadkers showed that sometimes teachers unknowingly prevented girls from participating as actively as boys in class by assigning them different tasks in accordance with stereotyped gender roles. For instance, one teacher conducting a science class with nursery school youngsters, continually had the little boys perform the scientific "experiment" while the girls were given the task of putting the materials away. Since hands-on work with classroom materials is a very important aspect of early education, the girls were thus being deprived of a vital learning experience that would affect their entire lives.
Unit 9 Music In-Class Reading Music to Your Gear 参考译文 音乐与开车 安迪·埃利斯 1 尽管音乐能使你胸中的怒气平息，但是开车时听音乐也会损害你的健康。近期研究表明，听声音很响的音乐会严重地影响司机的注意力，而且心理学家也提醒人们，不断地在车里放这种音乐是很危险的，尤其是处于车流中或在高速公路上开车时。 2 音乐有两个极端，任何一个极端都有可能带来危险。重金属音乐以其强烈的节奏会使人莽撞驾驶，而聆听处于另一个极端的优美的、令人舒心的音乐，会使司机过分放松，以至于丧失安全意识，陷入迷迷糊糊的欲睡状态。 3 英国汽车协会一直关注道路安全，它委托搞了一个项目，研究严重车祸与音乐之间的关系。这项研究发现，17至25年龄段的男人是最危险、最易产生车祸的群体。研究还发现，这个群体的人70%的开车时间都在听音乐。 4 快节奏或重金属音乐要是放得很响，会使人易怒好斗，开起车来就会冲劲十足，这种司机也就更容易去冒险。开车的速度受到了音乐的速度和节奏的控制。 5 在试验中，给那些自愿参加实验的司机听声音很响的音乐，他们说尽管他们不一定感到非要开快车，但的确发现自己换档更快了，加速也快了，刹车更急了。若是让这些司机听慢节奏的抒情曲，他们承认经常感到自己走神，他们在高速公路上长途开车时，至少有两位参试的司机发现自己不知不觉地在跨越车道标记。 6 这些自愿参试的司机（有些刚刚拿到驾驶执照）所发表的意见非常说明问题。十八岁的西蒙告诉英国汽车协会，“《走出地狱的蝙蝠》里的快节奏摇滚乐真会让人送命的。我发现自己不知不觉地越开越快。” 7 另一名自愿参试的司机一直在听ZZ Top乐队最流行的曲子，他说，“我一直在快速行驶，扯着嗓门唱歌，没有看见也没有听见那辆一直想超过我的消防车。” 8 还有些人说：“我陷入了深思”…… “人的感觉会变得麻木” …… “听不见别的汽车是个问题”，“我一直在随着音乐的节奏加快速度。” 9 一些慢节奏的背景音乐，如肖邦的音乐，会刺激人的大脑，使思维模式发生变化，激发阿尔法脑波，使人有一种舒服愉快的感觉。处于放松状态在大多数情况下对我们有好处，但开车时则不然。心理学家雪利?费希尔教授提醒人们说：“最大的危险是疲劳驾驶。有些音乐会使你无法集中注意力，甚至陷入轻度睡眠状态，那样就会造成可怕的惨祸。” 10 “问题的关键在于根据具体情况选择合适的音乐。刺激性的音乐适合在漫长、枯燥的道路上听，但是当交通状况糟糕时，或是交通拥挤时，这种音乐会分散你的注意力。” 11 然而，音乐也有其好的一面，正如英国汽车协会的心理学家罗伯特?韦斯特所指出的那样：“如果有些音乐影响我们安全行驶，那么反过来也是有道理的。
新编大学英语（第二版第三册）习题答案 新编大学英语（第三册）习题答案 新编大学英语（第二版）》由浙江大学编著，应惠兰主编，外语教学与研究出版社出版，刊出其习题答案是为了我三合在读大学生,同时欢迎关注三合的朋友们分享，更多内容请点击博客首页并在“搜博主文章”中按关键字搜索。 Unit 1 Personality V ocabulary (P16) 1. 1) self-conscious 2) self-confidence 3) self-esteem 4) self-destructive 5) self-worth 6) self-concept 7) Self-awareness 8) self-assurance/self-confidence 2. 1)B 2)I 3)L 4)A 5)H 6)D 7)E 8)N 9)J 10)M 11)C 12)F 13)G 14)K 3. 1) profound 2) jealousy 3) numerous 4) overweight 5) overcome 6) eventually 7) slim 8) compliments 9) diminish 10) reassurance 11) detrimental 12) isolated 13) self-esteem 14) accented 4. 1) reflected 2) concerned/worried 3) profound effect/influence 4) viewed/regarded 5)sensitive 6) respond/react 7)eliminated 8)overcome my fear 9) concentrate on 10) made no comment Translation (P17) 1) You should spend a reasonable amount of time relaxing and exercising. 2) In general children are healthier and better educated than ever before. 3) When the right opportunity comes along, he’ll take it. 4) Every day he sets aside some time to be with his family and enjoy life. 5) I remember those dark streets and walking hand in hand with my father. 6) He finally failed to live up to his parents’ expectations. 7) In contrast, our use of oil has increased enormously. 8) He succeeded in his efforts to overcome his fatal weakness. Part Four Writing and Translation (P46) 2. Translation Practice 1) It is believed that pessimism often leads to hopelessness, sickness and failure. 2) Optimism, by contrast, can make you happy, healthy and successful. 3) When you fail in something, profit from the failure as a learning experience. 4) Think about your strengths and build up self-confidence in front of problems or difficulties. 5) Don’t let negative thoughts hold you back. 6) Everyone has experienced failures and disappointments, so don’t blame yourself too much. Unit 2 Myths and Legends V ocabulary (P62) 1. 1) A. invitation B. invited C. inviting 2) A. prepare B. prepared C. preparation D. preparatory/preparation 3) A. discoveries B. discoverers C. discovered 4) A. approval B. approve C. approved D. approving E. disapprove 5) A. eloquent B. eloquence C. eloquently 6) A. faithful B. unfaithful/faithless C. faith d. faithfully
Unit 3 Born to Win Part 2 Reading-Centered Activities *Reading Comprehension 1.1) Introduction (Para.1) Each person has the potential to win in his own way. 2) The meaning of “winner” and “loser”(Para.2) A winter is one who responds genuinely by being trustworthy and responsive. A loser is one who fails to respond genuinely. 3) Few people are winners and losers all the time.(Para.3) 4) Winners (Para. 4-7) Characteristics of a winner: A. A winter is genuine. B. A winner is not afraid to do his own thinking and to use his own knowledge. C. A winner is flexible. D. A winner has a love for life. E. A winner cares about the world and its people. 5) Losers (Para. 8-10) Possible causes: Poor nutrition, cruelty, unhappy relationship, disease, continuing disappointments, and inadequate physical care. Characteristics of a loser: A. A loser lacks the ability to appropriately express himself through a full range of possible behavior. B. A loser has difficulty giving and receiving love. 2. 1) C 2) A 3) A 4) B 5) C *Vocabulary 1. 1) appreciate A.感激 B. 欣赏，赏识 2 ) capacity A. 容量，容积，容纳力 B. 能力，力量，才能
Unit 1 ●Part Two Reading centered activities Pre-reading Reading Comprehension 1.Understanding the structure of the passage Para.1-4 c para.5-7 a para.8-11 b para.12-13 d 2. 1) They would stare at them. 2) He felt embarrassed/ ashamed 3) He never let on. 4) He usually walked there with the help of his son 5) He was pulled on a child’s sleigh to the subway station 6) He like basketball, dances, and parties 7) He asked them to sit down and fight with him. 8) He was proud of his son 9) He missed him very much and was sorry for what he had thought about him. 10) He learned to have a good heart from his father. 3. 1) C 2) A 3) C 4) B 5) D 6) A7) B 8) C 9) D 10) A 4. Understanding the reference Words. 1)the difficulty in coordination the steps 2)whether a person has a good heart 3) a good heart 4)the baseball team 5)sat down to fight 6)what the son has achieved 7)sensed 8)the reluctance to walk with him ●Vocabulary 1. 1) urged 2) halted 3) bother 4) embarrassed 5) adjusted 6) complain 7) kid 8)engage 9)subject 10)saw to it that 11)coordinate 12)participate 2.Word-building patience
课内阅读参考译文及课后习题答案(Book 4) Unit 1 享受幽默—什么东西令人开怀？ 1 听了一个有趣的故事会发笑、很开心，古今中外都一样。这一现象或许同语言本身一样悠久。那么，到底是什么东西会使一个故事或笑话让人感到滑稽可笑的呢？ 2 我是第一次辨识出幽默便喜欢上它的人，因此我曾试图跟学生议论和探讨幽默。这些学生文化差异很大，有来自拉丁美洲的，也有来自中国的。我还认真地思考过一些滑稽有趣的故事。这么做完全是出于自己的喜好。 3 为什么听我讲完一个笑话后，班上有些学生会笑得前仰后合，而其他学生看上去就像刚听我读了天气预报一样呢？显然，有些人对幽默比别人更敏感。而且，我们也发现有的人很善于讲笑话，而有的人要想说一点有趣的事却要费好大的劲。我们都听人说过这样的话：“我喜欢笑话，但我讲不好，也总是记不住。”有些人比别人更有幽默感，就像有些人更具有音乐、数学之类的才能一样。一个真正风趣的人在任何场合都有笑话可讲，而且讲了一个笑话，就会从他记忆里引出一连串的笑话。一个缺乏幽默感的人不可能成为一群人中最受欢迎的人。一个真正有幽默感的人不仅受人喜爱，而且在任何聚会上也往往是人们注意的焦点。这么说是有道理的。 4 甚至有些动物也具有幽默感。我岳母从前经常来我们家，并能住上很长一段时间。通常她不喜欢狗，但却很喜欢布利茨恩—我们养过的一条拉布拉多母猎犬。而且，她们的这种喜欢是相互的。布利茨恩在很小的时候就常常戏弄外祖母，当外祖母坐在起居室里她最喜欢的那张舒适的椅子上时，布利茨恩就故意把她卧室里的一只拖鞋叼到起居室，并在外祖母刚好够不到的地方蹦来跳去，一直逗到外祖母忍不住站起来去拿那只拖鞋。外祖母从椅子上一起来，布利茨恩就迅速跳上那椅子，从它那闪亮的棕色眼睛里掠过一丝拉布拉多式的微笑，无疑是在说：“啊哈，你又上了我的当。” 5 典型的笑话或幽默故事由明显的三部分构成。第一部分是铺垫（即背景），接下来是主干部分（即故事情节），随后便是妙语（即一个出人意料或令人惊讶的结尾）。如果这个妙语含有一定的幽默成分，这个笑话便会很有趣。通常笑话都包含这三部分，而且每部分都必须交代清楚。如果讲故事或说笑话的人使用听众都熟悉的手势和语言，则有助于增强效果。 6 我们可以对幽默这种娱乐形式，进行分析，从而发现究竟是什么使一个有趣的故事或笑话令人发笑。举例来说，最常见的幽默有以下几种，包括了从最显而易见的幽默到比较微妙含蓄的幽默。 7 “滑稽剧”是最明显的幽默。它语言简单、直截了当，常常以取笑他人为乐。说笑打闹这种形式过去是、现在仍然是滑稽说笑演员和小丑的惯用技巧。它为不同年龄、不同文化背景的人们所喜爱。几乎本世纪的每个讲英语的滑稽说笑演员都曾以这样或那样的方式说过下面这则笑话。一位男士问另一位男士：“昨晚我看到的那位和你在一起的贵妇是谁？”那位男士回答道：“那可不是什么贵妇，那是我老婆。”这个笑话的幽默之处在于第二位男士说他的妻子不是一位贵妇，也就是说她不是一个高雅的女人。这个笑话并没有因为经常讲而变得不再那么好笑。由于这是一个经典笑话，观众都知道要说什么，而且因为大家对这个笑话很熟悉而更加珍爱它。 8 中国的相声是一种特殊的滑稽剧。相声中两名中国喜剧演员幽默地谈论诸如官僚主义者、家庭问题或其他一些有关个人的话题。相声随处都能听到，无论是在乡村的小舞台上，还是在北京最大的剧院里，抑或在广播、电视上。它显然是中国人家喻户晓的一种传统的幽默形式。 9 “俏皮话”不像滑稽剧那样浅显，它是因语言的误用或误解而引人发笑。我特别喜欢
Music to Your Gears Andy Ellis 1 尽管音乐能使心中的怒气平息，但是开车时听音乐也会损害你的健康。近期研究表明，听声音很响的音乐会严重地影响司机的注意力，而且心理学家也提醒人们，持续大音量地在车里放这种音乐是很危险的，尤其是处于车流中或是在高速公路上开车时。 2 音乐有两个极端，任何一个极端都有可能带来危险。重金属音乐以其强烈的节奏使人莽撞驾驶，而聆听处于另一个极端的优美而令人舒心的音乐会使司机过分放松，以至于超过安全限度，陷入迷糊状态。 3 英国汽车协会一直关注道路安全，它委托搞了一个项目，研究重大车祸与音乐之间的关系。这项研究发现，17至25年龄段的男性是最危险、最易产生车祸的群体。研究还发现，这个群体的人70％的开车时间都在听音乐。 4 快节奏或重金属音乐要是放得很响，会使人易怒好斗，开起车来冲劲十足。这种司机也就更容易去冒险。开车的速度受到了音乐的速度和节奏的控制。 5 在试验中，那些自愿参加实验的司机说，听了声音很响的音乐，他们说尽管他们不一定感到非要开快车，但的确发现自己换挡更快，加速更快，刹车也更急了若是让这些司机听慢节奏的抒情曲，他们承认自己经常走神。在一次高速公路长途驾驶过程中，至少有两位参加试验的司机发现自己在不知不觉中跨越了车道标志。 6 这些自愿参试的司机（有些刚刚拿到驾驶执照）所发表的意见非常说明问题18岁的西蒙告诉英国汽车协会：“《走出地狱的蝙蝠》里的快节奏摇滚乐有可能让人送命。我发现自己不知不觉地越开越快。” 7 另一名自愿参试的司机一直在听“ZZ顶级”乐队最流行的曲子。他说：“我一直在快速行驶，扯着嗓门唱歌，没有看见也没有听见那辆一直想超过我的消防车。” 8 还有些人说：“我陷入了深思……”，“人的感觉会变得麻木……”，“听不见别的汽车声是个问题”，“我一直在随着音乐的节奏加快速度。” 9 一些慢节奏的背景音乐，如肖邦的音乐，会刺激人的大脑，使思维模式发生变化，激发阿尔法脑波，使人有一种舒服愉快的感觉。处于放松状态在大多数时候对我们有好处，但开车时则不然。心理学家雪利·费希尔教授提醒人们说：“最大的危险是疲倦驾驶。有一些音乐会使你无法集中注意力，甚至陷入轻度睡眠状态，那样就会造成可怕的惨祸。” 10 “问题的关键在于根据具体情况选择合适的音乐。刺激性的音乐适合在漫长、枯燥的道路上听，但是当交通状况糟糕时，或是交通拥挤时，这种音乐会分散你的注意力。” 11 然而，音乐也有其好的一面，正如英国汽车协会的心理学家罗伯特·韦斯特所指出的那样：“如果说有些音乐影响我们安全行驶，那么反过来也是有道理的。精心选择的曲子有助于我们安全行驶，尤其是对高风险的群体而言。例如，要是我们能使年轻的男性驾车者听曼托瓦尼的音乐，他们很可能会把速度放慢。但可悲的是，我自认为没有能力说服他们许多人去这样做。” 12 除了一些音乐会影响行驶安全，我们的车里安装了高技术的音响系统这件事本身也是引起车祸的根源。近期一份有关交通与道路安全的报告表明，小交通事故中，有大约40％是由于人们更换磁带或光盘不看道路所引起的！ 13 无论我们对音乐的品位如何，无论我们的开车风格如何，看来安全行驶的习惯是我们一定要养成的。罗孚汽车公司、英国航空航天局、飞利浦公司及瑞典道路与交通研究所已通力合作生产出了一种汽车智能系统——简称为ARIADNE（实时智能驾驶助理）的精密电子防撞行驶报警装置。它利用雷达技术，一旦面临撞车危险，雷达会使车内的电话响起，警告司机注意。 14 如果汽车与前面的车辆之间的距离超出了安全刹车的范围，ARIADNE会通过加速器踏板发出震动以提醒司机放慢速度。随着两车之间的距离不断缩小，这种震荡会越来越强烈。要是司机