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Ted 演讲稿 脆弱的力量

Ted 演讲稿 脆弱的力量
Ted 演讲稿 脆弱的力量

Brene Brown:The power of vulnerability

So, I'll start with this: a couple years ago, an event planner called me because I was going to do a speaking event. And she called, and she said, "I'm really struggling with how to write about you on the little flier." And I thought, "Well, what's the struggle?" And she said, "Well, I saw you speak, and I'm going to call you a researcher, I think, but I'm afraid if I call you a researcher, no one will come, because they'll think you're boring and irrelevant." (Laughter)And I was like, "Okay." And she said, "But the thing I liked about your talk is you're a storyteller. So I think what I'll do is just call you a storyteller." And of course, the academic, insecure part of me was like, "You're going to call me a what?" And she said, "I'm going to call you a storyteller." And I was like, "Why not magic pixie?" (Laughter) I was like, "Let me think about this for a second." I tried to call deep on my courage. And I thought, you know, I am a storyteller. I'm a qualitative researcher. I collect stories; that's what I do. And maybe stories are just data with a soul. And maybe I'm just a storyteller. And so I said, "You know what? Why don't you just say I'm a researcher-storyteller." And she went, "Haha.

There's no such thing."(Laughter) So I'm a researcher-storyteller, and I'm going to talk to you today -- we're talking about expanding perception -- and so I want to talk to you and tell some stories about a piece of my research that fundamentally expanded my perception and really actually changed the way that I live and love and work and parent.

And this is where my story starts. When I was a young researcher, doctoral student, my first year I had a research professor who said to us, "Here's the thing, if you cannot measure it, it does not exist." And I thought he was just sweet-talking me. I was like, "Really?" and he was like, "Absolutely." And so you have to understand that I have a bachelor's in social work, a master's in social work, and I was getting my Ph.D. in social work, so my entire academic career was surrounded by people who kind of believed in the "life's messy, love it." And I'm more of the, "life's messy, clean it up, organize it and put it into a bento box." (Laughter) And so to think that I had found my way, to found a career that takes me -- really, one of the big sayings in social work is, "Lean into the discomfort of the work." And I'm like, knock discomfort upside the head and

move it over and get all A's. That was my mantra. So I was very excited about this. And so I thought, you know what, this is the career for me, because I am interested in some messy topics. But I want to be able to make them not messy. I want to understand them. I want to hack into these things I know are important and lay the code out for everyone to see.

So where I started was with connection. Because, by the time you're a social worker for 10 years, what you realize is that connection is why we're here. It's what gives purpose and meaning to our lives. This is what it's all about. It doesn't matter whether you talk to peoplewho work in social justice and mental health and abuse and neglect, what we know is that connection, the ability to feel connected, is -- neurobiologically that's how we're wired -- it's why we're here. So I thought, you know what, I'm going to start with connection. Well, you know that situation where you get an evaluation from your boss, and she tells you 37 things you do really awesome, and one thing -- an "opportunity for growth?" (Laughter) And all you can think about is that opportunity for growth, right? Well, apparently this is the way my work went as well, because, when you ask people about love, they tell you about heartbreak. When you ask people

about belonging, they'll tell you their most excruciating experiences of being excluded. And when you ask people about connection, the stories they told me were about disconnection.

So very quickly -- really about six weeks into this research -- I ran into this unnamed thing that absolutely unraveled connection in a way that I didn't understand or had never seen. And so I pulled back out of the research and thought, I need to figure out what this is. And it turned out to be shame. And shame is really easily understood as the fear of disconnection: Is there something about me that, if other people know it or see it, that I won't be worthy of connection? The things I can tell you about it: it's universal; we all have it. The only people who don't experience shame have no capacity for human empathy or connection. No one wants to talk about it, and the less you talk about it the more you have it. What underpinned this shame, this "I'm not good enough," -- which we all know that feeling: "I'm not blank enough. I'm not thin enough, rich enough, beautiful enough, smart enough, promoted enough." The thing that underpinned this was excruciating

vulnerability, this idea of, in order for connection to happen, we have to allow ourselves to be seen, really seen. And you know how I feel about vulnerability. I hate vulnerability. And so I thought, this is my chance to beat it back with my measuring stick. I'm going in, I'm going to figure this stuff out,I'm going to spend a year, I'm going to totally deconstruct shame, I'm going to understand how vulnerability works, and I'm going to outsmart it. So I was ready, and I was really excited.As you know, it's not going to turn out well. (Laughter) You know this. So, I could tell you a lot about shame, but I'd have to borrow everyone else's time. But here's what I can tell you that it boils down to -- and this may be one of the most important things that I've ever learned in the decade of doing this research. My one year turned into six years: thousands of stories,hundreds of long interviews, focus groups. At one point, people were sending me journal pagesand sending me their stories -- thousands of pieces of data in six years. And I kind of got a handle on it.

I kind of understood, this is what shame is, this is how it works. I wrote a book, I published a theory, but something

was not okay -- and what it was is that, if I roughly took the people I interviewed and divided them into people who really have a sense of worthiness -- that's what this comes down to, a sense of worthiness -- they have a strong sense of love and belonging --and folks who struggle for it, and folks who are always wondering if they're good enough.There was only one variable that separated the people who have a strong sense of love and belonging and the people who really struggle for it. And that was, the people who have a strong sense of love and belonging believe they're worthy of love and belonging. That's it.They believe they're worthy. And to me, the hard part of the one thing that keeps us out of connection is our fear that we're not worthy of connection, was something that, personally and professionally, I felt like I needed to understand better. So what I did is I took all of the interviews where I saw worthiness, where I saw people living that way, and just looked at those.

What do these people have in common? I have a slight office supply addiction, but that's another talk. So I had a manila folder, and I had a Sharpie, and I was like, what am I going to call this research? And the first words that came to my

mind were whole-hearted. These are whole-hearted people, living from this deep sense of worthiness. So I wrote at the top of the manila folder, and I started looking at the data. In fact, I did it first in a four-day very intensive data analysis, where I went back, pulled these interviews, pulled the stories, pulled the incidents.What's the theme? What's the pattern? My husband left town with the kids because I always go into this Jackson Pollock crazy thing, where I'm just like writing and in my researcher mode.And so here's what I found. What they had in common was a sense of courage. And I want to separate courage and bravery for you for a minute. Courage, the original definition of courage,when it first came into the English language -- it's from the Latin word cor, meaning heart --and the original definition was to tell the story of who you are with your whole heart. And so these folks had, very simply, the courage to be imperfect. They had the compassion to be kind to themselves first and then to others, because, as it turns out, we can't practice compassion with other people if we can't treat ourselves kindly. And the last was they had connection, and -- this was the hard part -- as a result of authenticity, they were willing to let go of who they thought

they should be in order to be who they were, which you have to absolutely do thatfor connection.

The other thing that they had in common was this: They fully embraced vulnerability. They believed that what made them vulnerable made them beautiful. They didn't talk about vulnerability being comfortable, nor did they really talk about it being excruciating -- as I had heard it earlier in the shame interviewing. They just talked about it being necessary. They talked about the willingness to say, "I love you" first, the willingness to do something where there are no guarantees, the willingness to breathe through waiting for the doctor to call after your mammogram. They're willing to invest in a relationship that may or may not work out.They thought this was fundamental.

I personally thought it was betrayal. I could not believe I had pledged allegiance to research, where our job -- you know, the definition of research is to control and predict, to study phenomena, for the explicit reason to control and predict. And now my mission to control and predict had turned up the answer that the way to live is with vulnerability and to stop controlling and predicting. This

led to a little breakdown -- (Laughter) -- which actually looked more like this. (Laughter) And it did. I call it a breakdown; my therapist calls it a spiritual awakening. A spiritual awakening sounds better than breakdown, but I assure you it was a breakdown. And I had to put my data away and go find a therapist. Let me tell you something: you know who you are when you call your friends and say, "I think I need to see somebody.Do you have any recommendations?" Because about five of my friends were like, "Wooo. I wouldn't want to be your therapist." (Laughter) I was like, "What does that mean?" And they're like, "I'm just saying, you know. Don't bring your measuring stick." I was like, "Okay."

So I found a therapist. My first meeting with her, Diana -- I brought in my list of the way the whole-hearted live, and I sat down. And she said, "How are you?" And I said, "I'm great. I'm okay." She said, "What's going on?" And this is a therapist who sees therapists, because we have to go to those, because their B.S. meters are good. (Laughter) And so I said, "Here's the thing, I'm struggling." And she said, "What's the struggle?" And I said, "Well, I have a vulnerability issue. And I know that vulnerability is the core of shame and fear and our struggle for worthiness, but

it appears that it's also the birthplace of joy, of creativity, of belonging, of love. And I think I have a problem, and I need some help." And I said, "But here's the thing: no family stuff, no childhood shit." (Laughter) "I just need some strategies." (Laughter) (Applause)Thank you. So she goes like this. (Laughter) And then I said, "It's bad, right?" And she said, "It's neither good nor bad." (Laughter) "It just is what it is." And I said, "Oh my God, this is going to suck."

(Laughter)

And it did, and it didn't. And it took about a year. And you know how there are people that, when they realize that vulnerability and tenderness are important, that they surrender and walk into it. A: that's not me, and B: I don't even hang out with people like that. (Laughter) For me, it was a yearlong street fight. It was a slugfest. Vulnerability pushed, I pushed back. I lost the fight, but probably won my life back.

And so then I went back into the research and spent the next couple of years really trying to understand what they, the whole-hearted, what choices they were making, and what are

we doing with vulnerability. Why do we struggle with it so much? Am I alone in struggling with vulnerability? No. So this is what I learned. We numb vulnerability -- when we're waiting for the call. It was funny, I sent something out on Twitter and on Facebook that says, "How would you define vulnerability? What makes you feel vulnerable?" And within an hour and a half, I had 150 responses. Because I wanted to know what's out there. Having to ask my husband for help because I'm sick, and we're newly married; initiating sex with my husband; initiating sex with my wife; being turned down; asking someone out; waiting for the doctor to call back;getting laid off; laying off people -- this is the world we live in. We live in a vulnerable world. And one of the ways we deal with it is we numb vulnerability.

And I think there's evidence -- and it's not the only reason this evidence exists, but I think it's a huge cause -- we are the most in-debt, obese, addicted and medicated adult cohort in U.S. history. The problem is -- and I learned this from the research -- that you cannot selectively numb emotion. You can't say, here's the bad stuff. Here's vulnerability, here's grief, here's shame, here's fear, here's disappointment. I don't want to feel these. I'm going

to have a couple of beers and a banana nut muffin. (Laughter) I don't want to feel these. And I know that's knowing laughter. I hack into your lives for a living. God. (Laughter) You can't numb those hard feelings without numbing the other affects, our emotions. You cannot selectively numb. So when we numb those, we numb joy, we numb gratitude, we numb happiness. And then we are miserable, and we are looking for purpose and meaning, and then we feel vulnerable, so then we have a couple of beers and a banana nut muffin. And it becomes this dangerous cycle.

One of the things that I think we need to think about is why and how we numb. And it doesn't just have to be addiction. The other thing we do is we make everything that's uncertain certain. Religion has gone from a belief in faith and mystery to certainty. I'm right, you're wrong. Shut up. That's it. Just certain. The more afraid we are, the more vulnerable we are, the more afraid we are. This is what politics looks like today. There's no discourse anymore. There's no conversation. There's just blame. You know how blame is described in the research? A way to discharge pain and discomfort. We perfect. If there's anyone who wants

their life to look like this, it would be me, but it doesn't work. Because what we do is we take fat from our butts and put it in our cheeks. (Laughter) Which just, I hope in 100 years, people will look back and go, "Wow."

(Laughter)

And we perfect, most dangerously, our children. Let me tell you what we think about children.They're hardwired for struggle when they get here. And when you hold those perfect little babies in your hand, our job is not to say, "Look at her, she's perfect. My job is just to keep her perfect -- make sure she makes the tennis team by fifth grade and Yale by seventh grade."That's not our job. Our job is to look and say, "You know what? You're imperfect, and you're wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging." That's our job. Show me a generation of kids raised like that, and we'll end the problems I think that we see today. We pretend that what we do doesn't have an effect on people. We do that in our personal lives.We do that corporate -- whether it's a bailout, an oil spill, a recall -- we pretend like what we're doing doesn't have a huge impact on other people. I would say to companies, this is not our first rodeo, people. We just need

you to be authentic and real and say, "We're sorry. We'll fix it."

But there's another way, and I'll leave you with this. This is what I have found: to let ourselves be seen, deeply seen, vulnerably seen; to love with our whole hearts, even though there's no guarantee -- and that's really hard, and I can tell you as a parent, that's excruciatingly difficult -- to practice gratitude and joy in those moments of terror, when we're wondering, "Can I love you this much? Can I believe in this this passionately? Can I be this fierce about this?" just to be able to stop and, instead of catastrophizing what might happen, to say, "I'm just so grateful, because to feel this vulnerable means I'm alive." And the last, which I think is probably the most important, is to believe that we're enough. Because when we work from a place, I believe, that says, "I'm enough," then we stop screaming and start listening, we're kinder and gentler to the people around us, and we're kinder and gentler to ourselves.

That's all I have. Thank you.

(Applause)

力量的演讲稿范文

力量的演讲稿范文 力量的演讲稿范文 演讲稿的写法比较灵活,可以根据会议的内容、一件事事后的感想、需要等情况而有所区别。在我们平凡的日常里,需要使用演讲稿的事情愈发增多,相信许多人会觉得演讲稿很难写吧,下面是整理的力量的演讲稿范文,仅供参考,大家一起来看看吧。 力量演讲稿1 哲学家维特根斯有一句话为我们高一同学所熟知:“我贴在地面行走,而不在云端跳舞”。可见行走是富有智慧的运动。“不积跬步无以至千里”这是荀子眼中的行走。“路漫漫其修远兮,吾将上下而求索”这是屈原眼中的行走。我们眼中的行走又是什么样的呢? 也许是痛苦的吧,日益先进的代步工具将我们的双脚地位一次又一次降低,如今大家已习惯了坐在有清凉空调的私家车中,隔着玻璃观看风景。这无可厚非,科技不断进步的目的就在于此。但我想正是青春年少的我们是需要一个摆脱空调、摆脱代步工具,亲身走向大自然的契机的。 今天的徒步活动正是这个契机。 古往今来,数不清的伟大创举就是凭借着一双由血肉组成的双脚创造的。徐霞客的潇洒足迹遍布华夏,玄奘大师的智慧足迹更是无畏地迈向大漠,余纯顺倔强但不强健的足迹却在挑战被视作生命禁区的罗布泊。千千万万的伟业,起点无非是两条腿。在我们平日的生活中,

遇见困难是常有的事,可我们往往缺少了一股顽强的力量来战胜它们。这股顽强的力量,是需要我们不断坚持才能具备的。而徒步活动,正是我们煅炼顽强毅力和团结奋进的好机会。在徒步活动中,我们会面临各种挑战,饥饿口渴不必多说,双脚的酸痛也不会少,同伴也许会体力不支……这种种问题都是考验,考验我们的毅力,也考验我们团队的凝聚力。正如俞敏洪谈到自己创立新东方时,说过:“只要我还有一口饭吃,就不会让同伴们喝粥”。一个优秀的团队不会放弃任何一个成员,一个人的成功不是成功,一个团队的成功才是真正的辉煌。十五公里,对于我们来说,也许长,也许短,可它就在那儿,一寸不多,一寸不少。目标再好再宏大,也需要踏实地去达成。既然决定上路,也就等于决定了付出。锲而不舍,金石可镂,路永远是漫长的,因为总有人想偷懒,而路同时也是有捷径的,因为总有人肯踏实。 徒步不仅仅局限于我们今天这十五公里,它的影响还应扩散到我们今后的日常生活学习中,生活总是充满了苟且,只有勇敢穿过苟且的人才能看见诗和远方的田野。中国有句老话千里之行始于足下,在西班牙哥伦布雕像中镌有这样一句话:不问前方,但问脚下。前方永远是未知的,我们所可控的无非脚下这几步,何不踏实的走好这几步,待风静、云散。我们就会惊喜地发现,原来远方,并非遥不可及。 力量演讲稿2 很久很久以前,有一只威武的老虎。它仗着自己的力气大,以大欺小,老是欺负比它弱小的`动物。小动物们一见到了它都万分害怕,话都不敢和它说。

军人大学生演讲稿——精神的力量-学生演讲稿.doc

军人大学生演讲稿——精神的力量-学生演讲稿 第一篇:军人大学生演讲稿:精神的力量第二篇:演讲稿:精神的力量第三篇:演讲稿之精神的力量第四篇:演讲稿:信念是一种精神力量第五篇:退伍军人代表保持军人本色发扬艰苦奋斗精神演讲稿更多相关范文 正文第一篇:军人大学生演讲稿:精神的力量军人大学生演讲稿:精神的力量 军人大学生演讲稿:精神的力量 记得大学第一课,教授在屏幕上打出这样一行字:“最后一课”,大家顿时摸不着头脑,只听他语重心长地说:“同学们,你们记得都德的悲愤与无奈么?外敌入侵,在自己的祖国连母语都学不成。今天,尽管和平与发展是时代的主题,然而世界并不太平,战争离我们并不遥远。我们要居安思危,时刻准备为祖国而战。”大家陷入了沉思,不知是谁拍了第一下手,雷鸣般的掌声便经久不息。一种忧患意识和使命感在我心中油然而生。 06年7月,大学教学改革如火如荼,升入进入大四的我来到了空军某部实习,在部队的荣誉室里我看到了一个熟悉的名字,我心头一震,他不就是我同学的父亲么!他在执行一项我军尖端装备试验飞行时不幸壮烈牺牲。我想起这位同学曾告诉我,父亲长年在部队工作,她出生时、高考时、甚至18岁成人的生日时,父亲都不在身边;她的奶奶在弥留之际用微弱的声音不断地念叨着她父亲的名字,家人也曾给父亲打电话,可他参加的科研正在关键时刻,走不开,忠孝不能两全的信念使他毅然选择留在了工作。后来,她父亲探亲回家跪在奶奶的坟前,磕了三个响头,留出了血一般的眼泪,望着苍天,一遍遍地说:“母亲啊,儿子回来了,可是我再也看不到您了,儿子不孝,没能见您最后一面。”英雄如今也魂化蓝天,那里是他的归宿。他背后究竟是怎样一种力量,让我们热血沸腾? 后来实习教员带我们去南京雨花功德园,我看了那位同学父亲的墓志铭,顿时便明白了一切。是他为祖国现代化国防事业奉献一切的精神,使他甘愿舍弃常人的生活。我的心灵又一次被震撼。烈士的事迹使我深深感到,学习知识要有精神的动力,精神的力量对我军做好军事斗争准备,忠实履行新时期的历史使命是多么的重要。实习回校后,我确立了考取思想政治教育专业研究生的目标,并如愿以偿。 我追求到了一把精神利剑,那是爱党爱国,抉择无悔的利剑;那是责任使命,奉献军营的利剑;那是科技强军,时不我待的利剑!正是这把利剑,使我在军校中成长,我将用这把利剑开启更多人的心灵,把我的一生献给绿色的军营,伟大的祖国! 第二篇:演讲稿:精神的力量尊敬的领导、老师们: 你们好!

信任的力量演讲稿

信任是一种相互的作用力,只有信任别人了才能得到别人的信任,自己都不信任别人,怎能赢得他人的信任。信任在生活中时刻存在着,不管是在生活中还是在工作中只有相互信任,才能共同发展,信任是我们共同进步发展的奠基石。 对于一个企业来说相互信任在企业的成长发展中起着重要的作用,一个企业内部存在着员工与企业之间的信任,员工与员工之间的信任;对外有顾客与我们员工之间的信任,顾客与企业间的信任。 员工对于企业来说就是组成企业生命的每一个细胞,员工来到企业就是因为相信这个企业能给自己带来更好的成长发展的机会,使自己的人生更加美丽,如果你不相信你所在的公司,那你就没有存在的必要性了。员工与公司之间并不是只有员工信任公司就可以的,还需要公司信任员工,信任员工做的每件工作都是为了企业的发展,疑人不用,用人不疑,公司既然选择了这名员工就该用信任的眼光去看待他做的每一件工作。并在适当的时候给予肯定与鼓励。 企业每个细胞之间更需要相互信任,相互帮助,企业中只有所有员工间相互信任团结相互帮助,这个企业才能无坚不摧。员工之间的信任表现在有资源共享,有困难一起解决,员工间共同进步成长发展。员工之间相互信任,员工

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军人大学生演讲稿:精神的力量

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信任的力量信任的力量演讲稿

信任的力量-信任的力量演讲稿 信任是一种相互的作用力,只有信任别人了才能得到别人的信任,自己都不信任别人,怎能赢得他人的信任。信任在生活中时刻存在着,不管是在生活中还是在工作中只有相互信任,才能共同发展,信任是我们共同进步发展的奠基石。信任的力量 对于一个企业来说相互信任在企业的成长发展中起着重要的作用,一个企业内部存在着员工与企业之间的信任,员工与员工之间的信任;对外有顾客与我们员工之间的信任,顾客与企业间的信任。 员工对于企业来说就是组成企业生

命的每一个细胞,员工来到企业就是因为相信这个企业能给自己带来更好的成长发展的机会,使自己的人生更加美丽,如果你不相信你所在的公司,那你就没有存在的必要性了。员工与公司之间并不是只有员工信任公司就可以的,还需要公司信任员工,信任员工做的每件工作都是为了企业的发展,疑人不用,用人不疑,公司既然选择了这名员工就该用信任的眼光去看待他做的每一件工作。并在适当的时候给予肯定与鼓励。 企业每个细胞之间更需要相互信任,相互帮助,企业中只有所有员工间相互信任团结相互帮助,这个企业才能无坚不摧。员工之间的信任表现在有资源共享,有困难一起解决,员工间共同进步成长发展。信任的力量员工之间相互信任,员工与企业之间相互信任,只有这样鹰一样的个人,雁一样的团队的企业才能被社会消费者加盟商所信任。 顾客只有信任我们才会选择我们的

产品,试想一下如果你对这个产品的公司相当不信任,你会选择他们企业的产品吗,我想每个人的答案都是一样的,顾客是企业的衣食父母,我们需需要做到值得他们信任,让他们知道他们选择我们是对的,这就需要我们的产品质优价廉。我们相信自己的产品值得顾客信任,并相信他们会认可并为我们宣传我们的产品。 其实所有的信任关系都是环环相扣的,如果企业与员工之间没有信任关系就没有企业的稳定发展,没有值得消费者加盟者信任的产品,他们就不会相信我们的企业。 信任是建立同事之间良好关心的基础,是企业与员工实现共同成长发展目的的前提,是企业顾客之间建立合作关系的催化剂。 本文链接: 护士爱岗敬业演讲稿 大学生活演讲稿范文 学生勤俭节约演讲稿

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