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中学生爆笑英文小笑话大全笑话(анекдот)是民族文化不可或缺的一部分。
透过笑话我们可以看到一个民族的生存环境、生活方式、社会关系和心理特征等等。
小编精心收集了中学生爆笑英文小笑话，供大家欣赏学习!中学生爆笑英文小笑话篇1The teacher told the class the story of a man who swam a river three times beforebreakfast.Johnny laughed."Do you doubt that a good swimmer could do that?" asked theteacher."No, sir," answered Johnny, "but I wonder why he did not swim it four times and getback to the side where his clothes were."老师给同学们讲了一个小故事，说有一个人早饭前要在河里游泳，横渡三趟。
约翰尼笑了。
老师问道：“你不相信一个游泳很好的人可以做到么?”约翰尼回答说：“不是的，先生，我是不明白他为什么不游四次，好回到他放衣服的那边。
”中学生爆笑英文小笑话篇2Dan was the doorman of a club in a big city. Everyday, thousands of people passed his door,and a lot of them stopped and asked him, "What's the time, please?"丹在一个大城市的某个俱乐部当守门人。
每天都有数千人经过他的门口，而且许多人都会停下来问他:“请问现在几点?”After a few months, Dan said to himself, "I'm not going to answer all those stupid people anymore. I'm going to buy a big clock and put it upon the wall here." Then he did so.几个月后，丹想:“我不想再回答这些蠢人提出的问题了，我要去买一只大钟，把它挂在这儿的墙上。
7年级英文小笑话精选民间笑话是一种颇受人们喜爱的民间叙事类型,材料丰富,有广泛的现实基础。
本文是7年级英文小笑话，希望对大家有帮助!7年级英文小笑话：My Wife Will Exchange ThemA gentleman walks into a store and asked for a pair of gloves.″Cloth or leather?″ asked the salesperson.″Makes no difference? ″replied customer.″What color?″ asked the clerk.″Any?″ he responded.″Size?″″Give me whatever you prefer?″ the gentleman said? slightly exasperated. ″My wife will be back tomorrow to exchange them.″反正我太太明天会来换的一位先生走进一家商店要买副手套。
“您是要布的还是皮的?”售货员问。
“没什么区别。
”这位顾客回答。
“那您要什么颜色的呢?”售货员又问。
“什么颜色都成。
”他回答。
“号码呢?”“您就随便给我拿一副吧，”这位顾客有点不耐烦了，“反正我太太明天都会来换的。
”7年级英文小笑话：老板和秘书It was her first job as a secretary. Her short hand wasn’t bad, and her typing was quite good. But the boss noticed that she never answered the telephone. It rang and rang, and she never touched it.“why don’t you answer it?” he called at last.She came to the door of his office. “because it’s always for you,” she daid.她的第一个工作是做秘书。
八年级好笑的英语笑话_10条最短的英语笑话笑话是一种用来逗笑取乐的文体。
笑话,不仅能让同学们在日常生活和学习中不时地会心一笑,还能从中学习到不少的知识。
下面是小编整理的八年级好笑的英语笑话，欢迎阅读!八年级好笑的英语笑话篇一The Mean Man’s PartyThe notorious(声名狼藉的，臭名昭著的) cheap skate(小气鬼) finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, Come up to the fifth floor and ring the doorbell with your elbow(肘部，扶手) . When the door open, push with your foot.Why use my elbow and foot?Well, gosh, was the reply, You’re not coming empty-handed, are you?吝啬鬼的聚会一个声名狼藉的小气鬼终于决定要请一次客了。
他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说：你上到五楼，用你的胳膊肘按门铃。
门开了后，再用你的脚把门推开。
为什么我要用我的肘和脚呢?天哪!吝啬鬼说，难道你还能空着手来吗?能吗?八年级好笑的英语笑话篇二Mr. Brown was reading his evening paper when there came a tremendous banging down the stairs. He jumped up, ran to the hall, and discovered his schoolboy son sprawled on the floor.Did you miss a step? asked his dad.No, I caught every blessed one! came the bitter answered.布朗先生在看晚报，忽然传来一阵什么东西从楼上摔下来的响声。
适合初中学生的英语笑话从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的调剂品,它使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松。
本文是适合初中学生的英语笑话，希望对大家有帮助!适合初中学生的英语笑话篇一WomenA Sikh, an Italian & a Frenchman were drinking in a pub when the subject ofWOMAN came up in their conversation.The Italian said, in Italy we treat the woman like a guitar. We press the top & tickle the bottom.The Frenchman said, in France, we treat the woman like cognac. We smell first & then lick slowly. What about the woman in your country,Mr Singh?The Italian asked.In our country, we treat the woman like a record. First we play the front &/when we finish, we flip it over & play the back.适合初中学生的英语笑话篇二Bill GatesBill Gates dies in a car accident. He finds himself in purgatory, being sized up by God"Well, Bill, I'm really confused on this call; I'm not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you enormously helped society by putting a computer in almost every home in America, yet you also created that ghastly Windows '95. I'm going to do somethingI've never done before; in your case, I'm going to let you decide where you want to go."Bill replied, " Well, what's the difference between the two?"God said, "I'm willing to let you visit both places briefly, if it will help your decision.""Fine, but where should I go first?""I'll leave that up to you.""Okay then," said Bill, "Let's try Hell first."So Bill went to Hell.It was a beautiful, clean, sandy beach with clear waters and lots of beautiful women running around, playing in the water, laughing and frolicking about. The sun was shining, the temperature perfect. He was very pleased."This is great!" he told God. "If this is hell, I REALLY want to see heaven!""Fine," said God, and off they went. Heaven was a place high in the clouds, with angels drifting about, playing harps and singing. It was nice, but not as enticing as Hell.Bill thought for a quick minute, and rendered his decision."Hmmmm. I think I'd prefer Hell," he told God. "Fine," retorted God, "as you desire." So Bill Gates went to Hell. Two weeks later, God decided to check on the late billionaire to see how he was doing in Hell. When he got there, he found Bill, shackled to a wall, screaming amongst hot flames in dark caves, being burned and tortured by demons."How's everything going?" he asked Bill.Bill responded, with his voice filled with anguish and disappointment,"this is awful! This is nothing like the Hell I visited two weeks ago! I can't believe this is happening! What happened to that other place, with the beaches, the beautiful women playing in the water "That was the SCREENSAVER," replied God.适合初中学生的英语笑话篇三CoincidenceA man walks into a bar, sits down and orders a triple martini. The bartender says "What a coincidence, the only other person at the bar is that beautiful woman at the other end. She is also drinking triple martinis".After a few sips of his drink, the man walks up to the woman and says, "Isn't it a coincidence that we are both having the same drink".She replies "Yes! I am here because I am celebrating. After 20 years of trying I am finally pregnant!""What a coincidence" the man replied. "I am also celebrating.After years of experimenting, I have invented a multicolored chicken. At this, the woman asked "How did you ever accomplish that!?"."I had to try a lot of different cocks" he said. The woman replied"What a coincidence"适合初中学生的英语笑话篇四son-in-lawA 60 year old woman came home one day and heard strange noises in her bedroom. She opened the door and discovered her 40 year old daughter playing with a vibrator. "What are you doing?" asked the mother."Mom, I'm 40 years old, and look at me. I'm ugly. I'll never get married so this is pretty much my husband." The mother walked out of the room shaking her head.The next day, the father came home and heard noises in the bedroom. Upon entering the room, he found his daughter using the vibrator."What the hell are you doing he asked.His daughter replied, "I already told mom. I'm 40 years old now and I'm ugly. I will never get married so this is as close as I'll ever get to a husband." The father walked out of the room shaking his head.The next day, the mother came home and found her husband with a beer in one hand and the vibrator in the other watching the football game onTV. "What on Earth are you doing?" she cried.The husband replied, "What does it look like I'm doing? I'm having a beer and watching the football game with my son-in-law!!"。
关于初中的英语笑话带翻译笑话是幽默的一个属概念,具有幽默的一切特征。
笑话是民族特有幽默的一种形式。
本文是关于初中的英语笑话带翻译，希望对大家有帮助!关于初中的英语笑话带翻译篇一How Did You Ever Get HereOne winter morning, an employee explained why he had shown up for work 45 minutes late. "It was so slippery out that for every step I took ahead, I slipped back two."The boss eyed him suspiciously. "Oh, yeah? Then how did you ever get here?""I finally gave up," he said, "and started for home."你是怎样来的?一个冬天的早晨，一名雇员解释他为什么迟到了四十五分钟才起来上班。
“外面太滑了，我每向前迈一步，就要向后退两步。
”老板狐疑地看着他。
“噢，是吗?那你是怎样到这里来的?”“后来我决定放弃，”他说，“然后我就往家里走。
”关于初中的英语笑话带翻译篇二Three SurgeonsThree famous surgeons were bragging about their skills. "A man came to me who had his hand cut off," said one. "Today that man is a concert violinist.""That's nothing," said another. "A guy came to me who had his legs cut off. I stitched them back on, and today that man is a marathon runner.""I can top both of you," said the third. "One day I came on the scene of a terrible accident. There was nothing left but a horse's posterior - and a pair of glasses. Today that man is seated in United States Senate."三个外科医生三个有名的外科医生正在吹嘘他们的技术。
关于英语幽默笑话短_幽默笑话短信在这个快节奏的生活中，找点乐子成了我们不可或缺的调味剂。
而英语幽默笑话，就像是那杯午后的咖啡，提神又醒脑，让人在不经意间笑出声。
今天，就让我带你走进那些让人捧腹的英语幽默笑话，一起感受那些简单却充满智慧的快乐瞬间，说不定还能笑出腹肌呢！一、误解也疯狂记得有一次，我在一个国际交友平台上遇到了一个英国朋友，名叫Tom。
我们聊得很投机，直到有一天，他给我发了一条信息：“I’m so hungry, I could eat a horse!” 我一看，心里咯噔一下，心想：“这哥们儿是不是饿疯了？要吃马？”正当我紧张地想要安慰他时，他突然发来一个笑脸符号，解释说：“哈哈，这是句英国俚语，意思是‘我饿得能吃下一头牛’！”我这才恍然大悟，原来英语里的表达有时候这么直接又夸张，让人忍俊不禁。
从那以后，每次我觉得饿极了，就会半开玩笑地说：“I could eat a horse too!”二、单词游戏的乐趣还有一次，我和几个英语爱好者朋友聚在一起玩“单词接龙”。
轮到我的时候，我灵光一闪，说了一个“banana”（香蕉）。
下一个朋友稍作思考，接了个“analyst”（分析师）。
轮到下一位时，他明显卡壳了，眉头紧锁。
我们都以为他要输了，结果他突然眼睛一亮，大喊：“Stop! I’ve got it! Spyglass!”（等等！我想到了！望远镜！）原来，他是把“analyst”倒过来念成了“tsylana”，然后巧妙地加上了“ss”和“pyg”变成了“spyglass”。
那一刻，我们都被他的机智逗乐了，这场游戏也因此变得更加有趣和富有挑战性。
三、短信里的幽默宝藏在手机短信盛行的年代，我也收到过不少让人捧腹的英语幽默短信。
其中一条至今让我记忆犹新：“Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!”（为什么科学家不信任原子？因为它们总是编造一切！）这句简短却充满讽刺意味的话，用科学的术语包装了一个日常生活中的笑话，让人在会心一笑的同时，也感受到了英语的魅力。
超级搞笑英语笑话小短文【篇一】超级搞笑英语笑话小短文给予与提取M.friend’.preparation.fo..visi.fro.he.childre.incl ude..tri.t.th.bank.Waitin.i.lin.a.th.teller’.windo mente.t.th.middle-age.ma.behind.her,”M.childre.ar.i.thei.20’s，an.I’.stil.givin.the.money.Whe.doe.i.end?”我的朋友为其子女的光临做着一些准备工作。
这些工作当然包括要到银行去一超。
当她在出纳员的窗外排队等候时，她对她身后的一位中年男子说:“我的孩子们都20多岁了，可我仍然得给他们钱。
这种事什么时候才算完呢?””I’.no.sure，”th.ma.replie.whil.glancin.uncomfortabl.a..pape.i.hi .hand，”bu.I`.no.th.on.t.ask.I’.her.t.deposi..chec.m.mothe .gav.me.”“我可不知道。
”那位男子边回答边不安地看着手里拿着的那张纸。
“我可不是你该问的人，我到这儿是来支取我妈妈给我的支票的。
”【篇二】超级搞笑英语笑话小短文妻子的欲望.woma.an.he.husban.wer.ou.shoppin.whe.sh.realiz e.tha.sh.neede.t.purchas.som.hai.colo.fo.he.grayin. hair.一位女士在与他的丈夫购物时，她意识到她该为她的灰白头发买些染发水了。
”Whe.ar.yo.goin.t.sto.buyin.tha.expensiv.stuf.,”complaine.th.husband.”an.le.you.hai.g.gra.lik.Barbar.Bush?”她丈夫抱怨说:“你什么时候才能停止买那些昂贵的东西，而让你的头发长成像芭芭拉.布什(总统夫人)的头发那样灰白呢?””Th.da.tha.you’r.inaugurated,”th.wif.replied.“那就要等到你就职的那天了。
英语搞笑笑话12篇下面是店铺整理的英语搞笑笑话，欢迎大家阅读!英语搞笑笑话：两颗番茄he first tomato has no answer, the second tomato asked again. The tomato has no answer, so the second tomato asked again. The first tomato finally turned slowly, said: "we are not tomatoes? We can talk?"两颗番茄去逛街，第一颗番茄突然走得很快，第二颗番茄就问：“我们要去哪里?” 第一颗番茄没有回答，第二颗番茄又问了一次。
第一颗番茄还没回答，所以第二颗番茄又问了一次。
第一颗番茄终于慢慢转头说：“我们不是番茄吗?我们会说话吗?”英语搞笑笑话：相同的职责The Same DutiesA retired four-star general ran into his former orderly, also retired, in a Manhattan bar and spent the rest of the evening persuading him to come work for him as his valet. "Your duties will be exactly the same as they were in the army," the general said. "Nothing to it-you'll catch on again fast." Next morning promptly at eight o'clock, the ex-orderly entered the ex-general's bedroom, pulled open the drapes, gave the general a gentle shake, strode around the other side of the bed, spanked his employer's wife on her bottom and said, "OK, sweetheart, it's back to the village for you."相同的职责一个退休的四星级将军在曼哈顿的一个酒吧偶然地遇到了他以前的勤务兵，勤务兵也退休在家。
英语幽默笑话（优秀10篇）英国人有他们独特的英式幽默，他们流传的英语冷笑话让人会心一笑，今天，小编给同学们收集、整理了几则特别有趣的英语冷笑话，希望大家能开心开心，一起来看看吧! 篇一一、The little girl did not like the look of the barking dog.It#39;s all right, said a gentleman, don#39;t be afraid. Don#39;t you know the proverb: Barking dogs don#39;t bite?Ah, yes, answered the little girl. I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?一个小女孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。
“没有关系，”一位先生说，“不用害怕，你知道这条谚语吗：吠狗不咬人。
;”“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道吗？”二、One student to another: How are your English lessons coming along?Fine. I used to be one who couldn#39;t understand the English men, and now it#39;s the English men who can#39;t understand me.一位学生对另一位说：“你的英语最近学的怎么样？”“很好，我过去不懂英国人说话，可现在是英国人不懂我的话了。
”三、An old lady who was very deaf and who thought everything too dear, went into a shop and asked the shopman:#39; How much this stuff?#39;#39;Seven dollars, Madam, it is very cheap.#39;The lady said, #39;It is too much, give it to me for fourteen.#39;#39;I did not say seventeen dollars, but seven.#39;#39;It is still too much,#39; replie()d the old lady, #39;give it to me for five.#39;一位耳聋并且总是嫌东西太贵的老太太走进一家商店。
英语搞笑笑话6篇幽默寓于笑话之中，它是笑话的精料，智慧之所在。
笑话是幽默的载体，一个成功的笑话能流传千古。
下面是店铺整理的英语搞笑笑话，欢迎大家阅读!英语搞笑笑话一：How can I get into heaven 我怎么才能上天堂"If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the poor, would I get into heaven?" I asked the children in my Sunday school class."No!" the children all answered."If I cleaned the church everyday, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would I get into heaven?"Again, the answer was, "No!""Well, " I continued, "then how can I get into heaven?"A five-year-old boy shouted out, "You gotta be dead!"“如果我把房子和车卖了，在车库举行义卖, 并把所有的钱给穷人，我能进天堂吗?”我问主日学校的孩子。
孩子们齐声回答：“不能!”“那如果我每天都打扫教堂，给院子的草坪割草，并且把东西都收拾得干净整洁，我会上天堂吗?”回答还是：“不能!”“好吧，”我继续问, “那我要怎样才能升天堂呢?”一个五岁的男孩儿叫道：“你得死了才行!”英语搞笑笑话二：I Want Her to go NutsMrs. Flinders decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, "Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets and a ruby pendant.""But you're not wearing any of those things.""I know," said Mrs. Flinders." It's in case I should die beforemy husband. I'm sure he'd remarry right away, and I want her to go nuts looking for the jewelry."福林德斯夫人决定让人给她画肖像。
和你身高差不多When we were newlyweds, my husband started a new job. Every evening I wouldgri11 him about the women at his office，demanding to know how pretty each one was, what color her eyes were, her hair, and so on. He always replied, "I don't remember that kind of thing.”我们刚刚结婚，丈夫便开始了一份新的工作。
每天晚上我都对他办公室里的女性的情况严加盘问，要求了解到每个人有多漂亮，眼睛是什么颜色，发型是什么样式等等。
他每次总是回答说:“我不记得那类事情。
”One night, he put an end to my pestering. I had asked him the height of a particular woman. He told me to stand up and gave me a passionate kiss. "Well,” he said, reflecting, "I guess she's about your height.”一天晚上，他让我的纠缠宣告结束。
我间他某个女人有多高。
他让我站起来，并给了我一个满怀激情的吻。
“嗯，”他回忆着说:“我想她和你身高差不多。
”好心反遭报应Eddie liked music very much when he was at school, but when he went to the university he decided to study medicine, instead of music. When he passed his examinations and became a doctor, he had to work in a hospital for some time. There he discovered that a lot of the patients were happier and caused less trouble if pleasant music was played to them. When Eddie got an office andbegan to work for himself, he decided to keep his patients happy by having atape recorder in his waiting room play beautiful music for them.艾迪在中学的时候非常喜欢音乐，可是上了大学后，他决心放弃音乐改学医学。
在通过考试成为医生之后，他必须在医院工作一段时间。
在那儿，他发现如果播放动听的音乐，很多病人会快乐点，麻烦也会少点。
有了自己的诊所开始营业时，他决定在候诊室放一台录音机，播放优美的音乐给病人听，让他们快乐一点。
But soon after the tape recorder had been put in, Eddies nurse heard a woman, who was sitting in the crowded waiting room one morning, co mplain, “Herewe’re all waiting to see the doctor, and he's just playing the violin in his office instead of doing his work”录音机装好之后，有一天早上，艾迪的护士听到一位女士坐在拥挤的候诊室抱怨说:“我们大家都等着看病，他却只知道在办公室里拉小提琴，根本就不工作。
”滑雪课Between my first and second ski lessons, I was practicing on the beginners'slope at Mammoth Mountain in California. I began to pick up speed, and suddenlyI realized I had forgotten how to stop. That same moment, I saw a young couple standing motionless directly in my path. "Look out! Get out of my way!” I yelled.我刚开始上滑雪课时，在加利福尼亚猛妈山的初学者坡道上进行练习。
我逐渐开始加速，但我突然意识到我忘了该怎么停下来。
就在这时，我看到一对年轻夫妇一动不动地挡了我的道。
“当心!让开!”我喊道。
They did not heed my warning, and a moment later the three of us were up to our ears in snow. As we were untangling poles and recovering skis, I apologized, explaining that I did not know how to stop.他们根本没有注意到我的警告，顷刻之间，我们三人都被埋在了雪里。
我们抽出扭在一起的滑雪杆，找回滑雪板。
我连忙道歉，解释说我不知道怎样停下来。
"That's okay , madam ,”said the young man. "We didn't know how to move.”“没关系，女士，”那名年轻男子说，“我们不知道该怎样滑动。
”它就是士兵As a newly commissioned infantry lieutenant, I was eager to set an example for my platoon by cleaning my own M一16 rifle. While we were working on the weapons, one soldier complained about the unusual notched shape of the M一16' s bolt and chamber, which makes it difficult to clean.作为一名新上任的步兵中尉，我希望通过擦拭自己的M-16自动步枪，给全排的士兵们作个榜样。
我们一块擦枪时，一名战士抱怨由于M-16的枪栓和枪膛特别的凹形结构，擦起来十分困难。
"Lieutenant, they need to make something to clean this with,” the soldier said.“中尉，应该制造出一种擦这枪的工具。
”士兵说。
"They do,” piped up a sergeant.“已经制造出来了。
”一个军士尖声说。
"Really?" I said with surprise, wondering why we had not ordered such a tool.“真的?”我十分诧异，纳闷为什么我们没有定购这种工具。
"Yes，sir,”replied the sergeant. "It's called a soldier.”“真的，长官，”军士答道，“它就是士兵。
”一个坏印象Six people were traveling in a compartment on a train. Five of them were quiet and well behaved, but the sixth was a rude young man who was causing a lot of trouble to the other passengers.有六个人搭乘火车旅行，坐在同一个包厢内。
其中五个人很安静，也很规矩。
但第六个是个粗鲁的年轻人，给其他旅客带来了许多麻烦。
At last this young man got out at a station with his two heavy bags. None of the other passengers helped him, but one of them waited until the rude youngman was very far away, and then opened the window an shouted to him, "you left something behind in the compartment” then he closed the window again.最后，这位年轻人在一个车站带着两个沉重的皮箱下车了。
没有一个旅客帮他的忙。
有一个人一直等到这位粗鲁的年轻人走得很远了，才打开窗户，对着他大喊:“把什么东西留在包厢里了!”然后，又把窗户关了起来。
The young man turned around and hurried back with his two bags. He was very tired when he arrived, but he shouted through the window, "what did I leave behind?"年轻人转过身子，拎着两个沉甸甸的皮箱，匆匆地赶了回来。
他转回来的时候，显得非常疲倦，他对着窗户大喊:“我把什么东西留在车上了?”As the train began to move again, the passenger who had called him back opened window and very bad impression当火车再次启动时，叫他回来的旅客打开窗户，说:“一个极坏的印象!”换个工作The doctor looked at his tongue, felt his pulse, knocked on and began: "Same old story, my much confinement. Do not deny it patient his chest friend. Too much confinement, Do not deny it. Walk, Walk.”医生看了一下病人的舌头，摸了摸脉，敲了敲胸部，然后说:“老问题，朋友。
