2020 高中英语新高考
读后续写的升华：删繁就简三秋树，领异标新二月花
引言
我在近日提出读后续写的两个概念。读后续写的内容可以分为：Be a story; Beyond a story.
所谓Be a story, 就是把故事说完整即可，不一定要突出一定的道理，类似于情景剧《老友记》，娱乐一下；而Beyond a story 是基于一定的主旨（theme）去挖掘人物的内心情感，所有情节的拓展都是服务于主旨。
从浙江的历年读后续写材料和提供的范文看，文章并没有突出一定的主旨，纯粹的Be a story 。譬如2016 年的妻子赌气和丈夫旅游中分开，然后迷路。续写也是最后两人又和好。包括今年的儿子上学，父母给家里的狗又添了一个伙伴，然后儿子回家。这里面的故事就是单纯地围绕人物线展开，把故事讲完了，就结束了。
我认为无论是be a story 还是beyond a story ，只要把人物形象刻画出来了，并且续写部分的想象合情合理，都是达到了高考的写作要求。
但有人说，beyond a story 对学生来说，太难了。其实这就误解
了我的意思。就具体写而言，要想写好，都不容易。甚至be a story 对学生的遣词造句要求更高。因为你完全靠情节胜出，就要在用词上卯足劲，否则这篇文章就干
巴巴的。不仅仅没有思想，而且语言平庸，味同嚼蜡。而beyond a story ，你虽然语言平庸一点，但是你的思想非常动人，这就弥补了语言表达的匮乏。
以浙江作文题为例
材料大致是：丈夫和妻子去旅游，来到森林里，二人意见不合，妻子赌气跑开了。然后突然发现迷路了。此时看到头上的飞机，估计是找她，但无法让它看到。
续写部分的范文是：天黑了，妻子找了写果实吃了后睡去；天亮，又和丈夫重逢。
我的想法：
这几年的续写材料说实话，不知道是不是命题人觉得学生水平有限，选材都没有一定的思想深度，即使和完形填空比都差一截。作为考生，如果要从思想上拔高，就要如此考虑，由于文章主要写妻子的活动，人物此时就一个：妻子。所以我把主题
锁定为：妻子的自立。因为妻子长期都是依赖丈夫，很少有自己的主见。那么在真正的困难来临时，尤其是直升飞机也没法发现她，她只能自救。在不断尝试中，她发现自己的潜力，更加自信，并且靠着以往的生活常识，走出了森林。同时可以穿插她想到丈夫平时对她的嘱托，更加认识到丈夫的不易。
当然考生也可以从其它角度，譬如突出家庭相处之道。不过，基于人物此时就一个，不太好写。
另外，写作要考虑如何打动人。那么必须给读者产生画面感。这也是我提出的新观念。我认为，好的记叙文，一定让人产生一种立体感，天地人形成一
副伟大的艺术画像。朱自清的《背影》情节够简单吧，但是我们想到的画面感足以让我们回味一辈子。
那么这篇作文的画面感在哪里？第一个画面是：深夜，妻子，月亮，昆虫的声音。这个画面突出：对丈夫的思念，对自己的反省。反省就是从依赖到给自己鼓励，要渡过难关；第二个画面是：晨曦，河水，丈夫和妻子拥抱在一起喜极而泣。妻子对丈夫说：I really hope we will never grow apart but grow together.
这句话就是点睛了，也是2017 年的高考完形填空的一句，原文是：While too many couples grow apart, we were growing together.
说到这里，我要重点说一下，文章的思想为什么重要？这里所说的“思想”，可能是一个“道理”，一种“认识”；一个“观点”，一种“发现”；甚至可能是对“定论”或“共识”的重新阐发，对未知世界和事物的探寻与追问。它们的共同特点，就是能让人增知识，长见识，提认识。
“思想”是文章的基石与核心
古人云，“言之无文，行之不远”。是指说话没有文采，就传播不远。其实，文字真正能流传广远的，是思想。文采不过是早晨的露珠，太阳出来就会蒸发。唯有见识
与思想，才是文字流传长久的源头活水和不竭动力。
梁恕俭先生在《一家之言：我对作文的理解与阐释》一文中指出：“作文就是思想和语言的结合”。从学生角度来说，要写好作文，应该着重训练把握文章的“识”、“意”即文章的思想。
思想是文章的基石与核心。这种所谓“思想”，不一定都是原创，但是却有新意。文章中的“思想”，对读者是一种刺激，一种唤醒。“思想” 悄然附着在字里行
间，不见踪迹，阅读的时候却时时可以感觉得到。
王小波的散文，读起来轻松，愉悦，有点俏皮，有些调侃；睿智有思想，浪漫有情怀。他崇尚智慧与自由，主张个体价值和独立思考。他的文章，充满激情，充满智慧，充满思辨。文章中无处不在的“思想”，最让人难忘。
技巧是手段，“思想”是目的陆机《文赋》中说：“每自属文，尤见其情，恒患意不称物，文不逮意”。王夫之《姜斋诗话》里更有“ 无论诗歌与长行文字，俱以意为主。意犹帅也，无帅之兵谓之乌合。” 他们所说的“意” ，我理解就是“ 思想”。陆机担心的是思想能否正确反映事物，语言能否完全表达思想；王夫之更把“思想”放在“ 统帅”地位，认为文章没有思想，如同军队没有统帅。而乌合之众只能是一盘散沙。
吴冠中先生“笔墨等于零”的著名观点颇值得玩味。吴先生认为：脱离了具体画面的孤立的笔墨，其价值等于零。这句话包含两个层次：其一，构成画面，其道多矣，点、线、块、面都是造型手段，黑、白、五彩，渲染无穷气氛，孤立的色无所谓优劣，品评孤立的笔墨同样是没有意义的。其二，笔墨只是奴才，它绝对奴役于作者思想情绪的表达，情思在发展，作为奴才的笔墨手法永远跟着变换形态。所以，脱离了具体画面的孤立的笔墨，其价值等于零，正如未塑造形象的泥巴，其价值等于零。
吴冠中先生说的是绘画艺术。然而，对于写文章，道理又何尝不是这样？！技巧只是一种手段，表达或体现思想才是目的。
人们常说，天下文章意为先。是说文章的立意要正确、高远，格调要健康，要表现高尚脱俗的道德情操和积极向上的情致意趣，不能随心所欲地展览自己的低级趣味、消极情绪。“意”者，思想也。所谓思想不健康，文笔再美也是不合格的。
识见的质量直接影响文章的质量
特级教师罗晓云先生曾提出，中学生写作文，首要任务是“练识”。“练”是“练习、提炼、锤炼” 的意思，“识”是指认识、见识，也就是文章的“意”即思想。可以说，罗先生抓住了中学生作文写作的关键。所谓意在言先，不论是记叙类文体中通过人物、事件描写所体现出来的主旨、要义，还是议论类文体中呈现的鲜明的观点和态度，都以“识” 、“意”，“观点”、“ 思想”为先。观点和思想的正确鲜明与否，直接决定着文章的高度、力度、厚度和深度。识是文章的主脑，识是文章的灵魂，识见的质量直接影响文章的质量。
结语
“删繁就简三秋树，领异标新二月花” 。古人、今人都告诉我们，写文章要练意、练识、练思想。就像王国维先生所说词“有境界则自成高格”一样，孤傲峭立的思想，就像“ 三秋树”和“二月花”，生长在文字的山冈和原野上，为文章长
精神，添气质。
原创模拟作文练习
My Mom Only Had One Eye
1 My mom only had one eye. I hated her. She was such an embarrassment .
2 She ran a small shop at a flea market and collected old clothes and some other
things to sell for the money we needed. Once during elementary school, it was field day, and my mom came. I was so embarrassed and wondered how could she do this to me? I threw her a hateful look and ran out. The next day at school, my schoolmates asked me, “Your mom only has one eye ?! ” andtaunted me.
3 I was so angry with my mom and wished that she would just disappear from this
world. So I said to my mom, “Why don't you have the other eye?! If you' re only gonna make me a
laughingstock !”M y mom did not respond, I guess I felt a little bad, but at the same time, I felt so good to
have had said what I wanted to say. Maybe it was because my mom hadn' t punished me, I didn 't think that
I had hurt her feelings very badly.
4 For the words I had said to her earlier, there was something pinching at me in the
corner of my heart. Even so, I hated my one-eyed mom and our desperate poverty.
I told myself that I would become successful in the near future, so I studied very hard. Later I got accepted by the Seoul University, I left my mother and came to Seoul to study. Then I got married there.
5 I bought a house of my own. Then I had kids, too. Now I am living happily as a
successful man. I enjoy the life in Seoul because it 's a place that doesn 't remind
me of my mom and my past. This kind of happiness was getting bigger and bigger, until one day someone knocked at my door. It was my mom! And still with her one
eye! It felt as if the whole sky was falling apart on me. My little girl ran away, scared of my mom's eye.
6 I screamed at her, “Who are you? I don 't know you! How dare you come to my
house and scare my daughter !”T o this, my mom quietly answered, “Oh, I'ms o sorry. I may have gotten the wrong address, ” and she disappeared out of sight.
Notes:
1 embarrassment 难堪，窘迫。
2 flea market 跳蚤市场。
3 taunt 嘲弄，讥讽。
4 laughingstock 笑柄。
5 pinching 引起痛苦的。
6 shack 棚屋，小室。
7 curiosity 好奇，好奇心。
1. 所续写短文的词数应为150 左右；
2. 至少使用 5 个短文中标有下划线的词语；
3. 续写部分分两段，每段的开头语已为你写好；
4. 续写完成后，请用下划线标出你所使用的关键词语；Paragraph 1 One day, a letter regarding a school reunion came to my house.
Paragraph 2 Then a piece of paper, a letter, I thought, in her hand came into my eyes.
Key:
1 One day, a letter regarding a school reunion came to my house. Lying to my wife that I was going on a business trip, I went back to participate in the reunion. After the reunion, I went down to the old shack , which I used to call a house, just out of curiosity . There I found my mom fallen on the cold ground. I did not shed a single tear.
2 Then a piece of paper, a letter, I thought, in her hand came into my eyes. My son,
I think my life has been long enough now, and I won' t visit Seoul anymore. But would it be too much to ask if I wanted you to come to visit me once in a while? I miss you so much. And I was so glad when I heard you were coming for the reunion.
But I decided not to go to the school ?for you. I ' m so sorry tohnalty Ihave one eye,
and I was an embarrassment for you.
You see, when you were very little, you got into an accident and lost your eye. As a mom, I couldn ' t stand watching you having to grow up with only one eye. So I gave you mine. I was so proud of my son to see a whole new world for me with that eye. I was never upset at you for anything you did. During the couple of times that you were angry with me, I thought to myself, it ' s because he loves me.
My son ?oh, my son ?
Don' t cry for me because of my deat h. I love you so much.
The little country schoolhouse was heated by an old-fashioned pot-bellied coal stove. A little boy had the job of coming to school early each day to start the fire and warm the room before his teacher and classmates arrived.
One morning they arrived to find the schoolhouse engulfed in flames. They dragged the unconscious little boy out of the faming building more dead than alive.
He had major burns over the lower half of his body and was taken to a nearby county hospital. From his bed
the semi-conscious little boy faintly heard the doctor talking to his mother. The doctor told his mother that her son would surely be dead, for the terrible fire had devastated the lower half of his body.
But the brave boy didn't want to die. He made up his mind that he would survive.
Somehow, to the amazement of the physician, he did survive. When the mortal danger was past, he again heard the doctor and his mother speaking quietly. The mother was told that since the fire had destroyed so much flesh in the lower part of his body that he was doomed to be a lifetime cripple.
Once more the brave boy made up his mind. He would not be a cripple. He would walk. But unluckily from the waist down, he had no motor ability. His thin legs just dangled there, all but lifeless. Ultimately, he was released from the hospital.
Every day his mother would massage his little legs, but there was no effect. He was either in bed or confined to a wheelchair. Yet his determination that he would walk was as strong as ever.
1. 所续写短文的词数应为150 左右；
2. 续写部分分两段，每段的开头语已为你写好；
Paragraph 1 One sunny day his mother wheeled him out into the yard to get some fresh air.
Paragraph 2 He started to do this every day until he wore a smooth path all around the yard beside the fence.
答案：
One sunny day his mother wheeled him out into the yard to get some fresh air. This day, instead of sitting there, he threw himself from the chair. He pulled himself across the grass, dragging his legs behind him. He worked his way to the white picket fence bordering their lot. With great effort, he raised himself up on the fence. Then, stake by stake, he began dragging himself along the fence, resolved that he would walk.
He started to do this every day until he wore a smooth path all around the yard beside the fence. Ultimately, through his daily massages, his persistence and his resolute determination, he did develop the ability to stand up, first to walk haltingly, then to walk by himself —and then —to run. He began to walk to school, then to run
to school, to run for the sheer joy of running. Later in college he made the track
team. Still later in Madison Square Garden this young man who was not expected to survive, who would surely never walk, who could never hope to run —Dr. Glenn Cunningham, ran the world's fastest mile ！
When spring came to the city of Cleveland, Ohio, it did not change Gates Avenue. The people who lived on the pretty streets near Gates Avenue were making gardens, painting their houses and getting their lawn mowers ready for the summer. But Gates Avenue continued to look dirty and ugly.
Gates Avenue was a short street. But it seemed long because it was so ugly, most of the families who lived there had very little money. They never expected to have much more.
Sometimes the men had jobs and sometimes they didn't. Their houses had not been painted in many years and did not even have running water. The Gates Avenue families carried their water from the hydrants on the street corners.
The street itself was ugly, too. It had no pavement and no streetlight. The railway at one end of Gates