精心备考写佳文达意传情乃为本
---谈高考二轮备考书面表达训练方向
高考备考进入第二轮复习之后，师生的重要着眼点之一就是书面表达。为求在考试中能得好分、高分甚至满分，大家都在如何把短文写好、写妙上认真琢磨，精心训练，以求出彩。为了出彩，师生的目光锁定在高级词汇和复杂结构的使用之上。
的确，一篇短文中如果出现了若干高级词汇和复杂使用情况，文章的档次就上去了，亮点就出来了，得分也就自然会高。曾经的《评分标准》就是这种想法和做法的理论依据。
第五档（很好）：（21-25分）
完全完成了试题规定的任务。
★覆盖所有内容要点。
★应用较多的语法结构和词汇。
★语法结构或词汇方面有些许错误，但为尽力使用较复杂结构或较高级词汇所致；具备较强的语言运用能力。
★有效地使用了语句间的连接成分，使全文结构紧凑。
完全达到了预期的写作目的。
在这个《标准》的影响和引导之下，师生们共同努力，进行了针对性的训练，所以在考试中也的确出现了不少的高分或满分作文，如：
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am Li Hua, a student in Class 8, Grade 3. The reason why I choose to write this letter is that I have seen the notice from a sign in the wind and I am willing to apply for the work as an English announcer in the school broadcast station.
Though I know that there will be a lot of students longing for it, I am still confident that I can be equal to it. Not only did I experience professional training, but I am also distinguished in English. Instead of being a haphazard person, I take my work seriously and will focus my all attention on it. What’s more, I really hope to obtain this occupation form the bottom of my heart. If you can give me an opportunity, my performance wont’ let down.
I’m looking forward to your early reply.
Yours,
Li Hua (调考23分作文)
Word comes that about 30 volunteers as pioneers will be selected from all over the world to the Mars by 2015. Those who want to be volunteers must be at least 19 years old willing to get along well with others and prepared for not coming back to the earth as well. Experts say that the living environment on the Mars is extremely hard and volunteers will face lots of challenges such as cold weather, loneliness and fear. However, in the meantime, those volunteers hold the view that they are fed up with the earth life and eager for living on the Mas. What’s more, if they succeed, they will be the heroes of huma n beings.
（高考满分作文）
以上两篇短文的作者确实具备了良好的英语语言驾驭能力，特别是第二篇，作者简而有序地组织表达内容的要点，用词精确谨慎，选句难易交错，固定句式及地道的短语赋予了文章别样的风采。像select, from all over the world, at least, get along well with, extremely, hold the view, be fed up 等高级词汇和word comes that…, those who…，willing to…等复杂结构的使用恰到好处。而第一篇之所以能在有几处明显错误的情况下得高分正是因为有“语法结构或词汇方面有些许错误，但为尽力使用较复杂结构或较高级词汇所致；”这句话的影响。
在欣赏这些美文的同时，笔者在想，使用高级词汇和复杂结构是否是高考书面表达的最高境界呢？因为现在有一种倾向，似乎谈高分必谈高级词汇和复杂结构的使用，冷静思考一下，答案是否定的。
中国有句成语说：过犹不及，说的是凡事要讲究一个度，用在我们的书面表达上就是说过度地使用高级词汇、词组和连接语篇成分就不如不用，甚至会给人带来负面印象，但这一点往往还被人们所忽视。在不少的调研听课后，笔者发现，不少的老师还在以高难作标准明示和暗示着学生去追求他们本来不能的表现，导致学生挖空心思地去使用一些高难的语言形式，以求高分。以下是前不久一个级别较高的大型备考研讨会上一节书面表达公开课学生的短文实录。
1
Dear Lucy,
I’m Li Hua.I’m very glad to write to i nvite you to the nursing home to celebrate the Double Ninth Festival with us.
We’ll meet at the school gate at around 7:30 am. that day, and take a bus there. Upon arriving, we’ll start our activities. First, we’ll do a thorough cleaning. After that, we pl an to make dumplings with the olds, creating a homey atmosphere. Later, in the afternoon, we’ll give the olds our well-organized performance, like singing and dancing. If possible, I hope you can play the violin. At last, at around 4:30 pm., we’ll say good bye to them and head for school.
I do hope you can come and we would appreciate it if you could come with us.
Looking forward to your early reply.
Yours,
Li Hua 老师点评这篇短文的优点时指出，本文一是很好地使用了表示时间顺序的短语first, after that, later, at last等，二是使用了高级词汇和复杂结构如upon arriving, creating, well-organized, if possible, head for, we would appreciate it if等，得分24分。
2
Dear Ms .Smith,
The speech contest will start at 2:00 pm. June 15th, lasting 3 hours, whose theme is about human and nature. Held at the 501 classroom, it’s not a very formal contest and there will be 10 competitors taking part in the contest, all of whom have their own styles and different strengths. I think you can’t miss this wonderful contest. If you take interest in it and long for further information. Please call me at 4487665, I welcome you from the bottom of my heart.
I would appreciate it if you can come.
With best wishes
Li Hua 这是学生练写2010年的全国高考试题，同样老师因为该生用了lasting…, held…, taking part …,all of whom, long for, from the buttom of my heart等高难语言形式而给了出24分的高分。
笔者并不完全同意这位老师的思想和做法。第一篇中的时间顺序短语用得过多了，给人有堆砌的感觉，c reating…部分在此生硬，well-organized呢还是well-prepared呢? If possible与后文意义不吻合，head for在此还不如return to，we would appreciate句前后意义重复。第二篇lasting, held用得十分牵强，用expect比long for更贴切，没有必要如此夸张地说from the buttom of my heart，说warmly就行了，如此等等，而这些问题教师却只字未提，只是肯定其高级词汇和复杂结构，并要求其他学生要不忘仿效。
这是一节颇具代表性的课例，我们在很多场合能听到这个样的课。
没必要那么夸大高难语言的使用，没有必要把事情搞得那么、神秘和玄乎，其实，上好的短文应是达意的、传情的，做到了达意、传情，精彩也就自然出来了。所谓达意，就是用了准词句，表清了意思，说明了事情；所谓传情，则是指用精了字词，用妙了句式，用活了结构，用灵了方式，用顺了连接。我们提倡“出彩”，但“彩”要有“彩”的道理和根基。高级的、复杂的东西不是越多越好，高级的、复杂的东西在书面表达中是好东西，但好东西用滥了，用过了就成坏东西了。所以我们冷静、理性地看待“出彩”要求，不可舍本逐末，否则会把复习备考引入歧途。“使用较复杂的结构或较高级词汇”并不是得高分、满分的唯一方法，幸好，2015年的《评分标准》对以前的进行了修正改，请看：
优秀（22--25）：紧扣主题，覆盖所有要点，内容充实；语法结构多样，词汇丰富，行文流畅，显示出较强的语言运用能力，允许有个别语言错误，但不影响意思表达。
这才道出了事情的本源，这个《评分标准》在表述上更精准、简洁也更理性。它没有提及“使用较复杂的结构或较高级词汇”，是人性化的，是求真务实的。教育部《高考试题分析2016年版》对它的说明是“考生还应能适当运用较高级的词汇、词组和语篇连接成分”。可见，高考讲的是“适当运用”，如果用过了头，则可能出现词语的堆砌，让人感到是矫揉造作，无病呻吟。笔者曾经读过一篇学生的“好作业”，一篇100来字的短文中有6个定语从句，这完全没有必要，是追求过度。老师既要鼓励学生追求高档，同时，也要限制学生追求虚华，并大胆地修剪学生作业中不必要的华丽部分，使短文立足于达意和传情，做到虽朴实但透高雅，虽华彩但显自然。请看2015 北京的满分作文：
Dear Jim,
How are you these days? Recently, I make a plan to take part in a Dragon Boat Training Camp so that I can cultivate my interests, broaden my horizons and enrich my school life.
I want to tell you some details about the camp first. The camp will be held in my school next Saturday. And many other middle school students will take part in the camp as well. Therefore, we can communicate with each other very well.
Well, I have two main reasons why I want to join it. The first one is that the dragon boat race is one of the most important traditions in China. And people treasure it very much. You can know it’s a very funny and wonderful activity. What’s more, I can improve myself in the camp and learn many things that can’t be found in the books.
Would you like to join me? I look forward to your joining very much. Please give me a reply soon and let me know your decision, OK?
Wish you good luck.
Yours,
Li Hua 这篇文章才是值得我们去认真学习和提倡的写作态度和方式。它结构紧凑，条理清楚，用词精当准确。cultivate, broaden, enrich, treasure等都属于高级词汇，用得不做作，I make a plan to, take part in, as well, give me a reply, let me know your decision等短语用得自然流畅，the first, and, what’s more等悄无声息地表现了顺序，first, therefore, well等语言将前后连接无缝，… that can’t be found …，loo k forward to your joining…等结构复杂但易懂，整个短文不见一点虚华之话。
语言是人们传递信息和交流思想的工具，达意和传情是其基本属性，高级词汇和复杂结构应是短文文意的自然需要，写作者情和意的自然需要，是写作者手法的自然表现，不要刻意去追求。朴实的高级，易懂的复杂才是我们要的目标，也是高考得高分、满分的标准。
作者姓名：杨武
单位：湖北麻城市教育科学研究院
职称：中学高级
研究方向：中学英语教育教学
曾发表论文：《四会并举实践领先》《高中生英语写作能力偏低的原因及思考》《写好英语句子的技巧》《高考英语写作指导序列》《教你写好英语短文》《异议高考英语短文改错》《高考题型解读与解题指导序列》《高考试题评析序列》《寓素质教育于英语教育之中》《在初中实行口语考试的初中与思考》《英语高考应强化对写的考查》等100余篇。
通讯地址：湖北麻城市教育科学研究院
电话号码：135********