新托福口语练习材料——关于批评(1)
Does Criticism Do More Harm Than Good to People?
Text
A Y oung Woman Who Fears Compliments
Marya, a brilliant graduate student in her early twenties who came for consultation. Insisted that she could improve only with criticism(1). Her reasoning was that she knew the good qualities but that she did not know the bad ones. To have more knowledge of her negative qualities, she believed, would add to her self-understanding(2) and thus enable her to see herself more completely. Marya, in effect, refused to acknowledge and to understand her strengths. She had assembled detailed lists of her negative qualities which she used daily to support an extremely negative view of herself. But they were either exaggerated or unreal(3).
Despite her attractiveness to others, she convinced herself that she was ugly. When her family bought her new and well-designed articles of clothing(she seldom bought any herself), she left them hanging in the closet for weeks before wearing them once. When someone complimented her on what she wore(4) and asked whether it was new, she could honestly answer no. She did not "deserve" to wear new clothes. She could not bear the pain of hearing compliments, of seeing herself as intelligent, pretty, or worthwhile(5).
As a child, Marya had received little or no criticism from her parents. She was prized by them. Their major disappointment in her apparently was that she often rejected their overtures of kindness and appreciation, not in anger but in embarrassment, (6) as though she were undeserving. This seemingly mild-mannered young woman, (7) exceptionally courteous judgment with tenacity(8). finally, friends and interested faculty members quit acceding to her persuasive requests for criticism(9) that they could not honestly give. Instead, they gently but firmly confronted her with her own blindness to what she truly was like(10).
I. Listen
Listen to the text with the help of the following notes.
1. she could improve only with criticis m: 只有批评才能使她进步。
2. To have more knowledge of her negative qualities, ..., would add to her self-understanding:更多地知道她的短处将会增加她的自我了解。
3. they were either exaggerated or unreal: 它们或是夸张，或是根本不真实。
4. someone complimented her on what she wore: 有人称赞她所穿的衣服。
5. She could not bear the pain of hearing compliments, of seeing herself as intelligent, pretty, or worthwhile: 听到别人的赞扬之辞，看到自己是一个聪明、漂亮的有用的人来说是一种痛苦，对此她不能忍受。
6. she often rejected their overtures of kindness and appreciation, not in anger but in embarrassment: 她常常拒绝他们表示慈爱和称赞并非由于生气，而是由于难为情。
7. This seemingly mild-mannered young woman: 这位貌似温顺的年轻女性。
8. held onto her own negative self-judgment with tenacity:顽固地坚持对她自己的否定态度。
9. friends and interested faculty members quit acceding to her persuasive requests for criticism: 朋友及关心她和教师们不再答应她颇具说服力的要求批评的请求。
10. they gently but firmly confronted her with her own blindness to what she truly was like: 他们温和却又坚决地向她指出她对自己的实际情况完全视而不见。
新托福口语练习材料——关于批评(1)
II．Read
Read the following passages. Underline the important viewpoints while reading.
1. Unfair Criticis m
Stuart is a typical sixteen-year-old boy who experienced and suffered from the criticis m of an alcoholic parent it seemed to Stuart the only thing his father ever had to sa y to him was. "Y ou haven’t got a brain in your head." Stuart was a sophomore in high school. It was true he was a poor student, or what his dean called an "underachiever". Even toughs Stuart knew he was an underachiever, he would have liked to hear his father say, just once, something else when he thought home his report card other than his usual, "Y ou haven’t got a brain in your head."
Stuart was determined to prove to his father he did have a rain in his head. Stuart studied very hard. Some nights it was difficult for him to concentrate on his homework because he could hear his parents bickering in the next room.
"Y ou forgot to pay the mortgage again. The bank is fed up."
"How many times can a person smash up a car? I’m surprised they haven’t taken your license away!"
"If you wouldn’t drink so much..."
Stuart didn’t like the bickering, and wondered if his parents might separate. He wondered, too because his father was so forgetful about paying the bills, if they might lose their ho me.
He kept telling himself that if he studied hard, maybe, by some miracle, things would get better at home.
Stuart’s determination to concentrate on hi s school work, in spite of the bickering and worries at home, paid off. His next report card showed a marked improvement. There was even a personal note of praise from his dean written on the report card.
Proudly Stuart put the report card on his father’s desk. Stuart felt happier than he had felt in a long time. He knew that his father could only be pleased with such a report, but more important, maybe now his father would realize that he was intelligent and would start paying some attention to him. Stuart could remember when his father used to go to ballgames and movies with him. Who knew? M aybe things would go back to the way they used to be. Stuart would offer to get a part-time job to help pay off some of the bills. He thought that might lessen some of the arguing at home and keep the family from breaking up. He would let his father know t hat he was old enough to understand things weren’t always easy at the office.
When Stuart’s father came home and saw the report, he said without any hesitation, "Well, well, who did the work for you? I know you don’t have the brains to do it!"
St uart was stunned. All that work for nothing! He wouldn’t be surprised if his father not only thought he was stupid but hated him, too.
Stuart would not have been as hurt if he had only known his father was tied up in his own miserable feelings. This kept him from recognizing what Stuart had accomplished in school.
2. Uses of Criticism
While some of us have a tendency to disbelieve or to minimize the good things people say about us, others among us have a tendency to hold a protective web aroun d ourselves in defense against criticis m. One workshop participant said, "I confuse the issue by getting logical in the face of threatening reactions. Sometimes I act helpless so others will stop the criticis m". Early in the workshop experience he had received more negative than positive reactions. While he was fearful of criticism, he found that he had courted it, hoping that he could learn how to handle it and overcome his fear.
We may court negative reactions for other reasons. A therapy group member regarded criticism as more useful than compliments, and criticism is what he often got - not because he asked for it directly, but because of his detached manner, as though he were sitting in judgment of others. Moreover, his tendency to qualify and hedge his opinions and feelings until they had no meaning often brought down their displeasure stoically, as though it strengthened him. He never openly criticized other members, however.
Still another member, who claimed that "criticism is the stuff that we grow on", gave others criticis m galore so they could improve and, in his words, "not appear in a negative light in the future," This member came across as using his ostensible concern for the growth of others as an excuse to criticize and attack them.
3. Is It Right to Withhold One’s Reactions to Others?
It is not uncommon for us to withhold our reactions to others. We may hold back compliments for fear of embarrassment to them and to ourselves. We may hold back criticism for fear of being disliked or considered unfair, or for fear of hurting another person. Reactions given inconsiderately may indeed hurt others. On the other hand, some of us are inclined to withhold our reactions from others while at the same of us are inclined to withhold our reactions from others while at the same time we honestly prefer than they not hold back theirs from us. We may have two different rules. The first one may be: If we ask others for candid reactions to our behavior, to something we have done or plan to do, we want them to tell us straight, including the negative with the positive. The second rule may be: If someone else asks us for similar reactions, we are inclined to hold back or gloss over the negative and embroider the positive.
4. Criticis m Is a Kind of Demand on Those Criticized
As children, many of us got a great deal of criticism and , as a result, learned a variety of patterns for coping with it. marya had apparently received little criticis m, butt knowing that she was not perfect
and deserved what other children got, developed her own patterns of self-judgment and censure. Being judged, whether we are underestimated or overestimated, usually implies a demand, subtle or direct, that we change. If others do not demand change, we may feel the need to demand it of ourselves.
Reactions that are relatively free from attempts to change or discredit us, given by someone who cares fro us, and with the intention of letting us know what impressions we are making, may be easier to take. If, however, our usual reaction is to defend ourselves, even mild criticis m or impressions given gently without demands that we change may play havoc our defensive structure and become difficult to handle.
5. How to Handle Criticis m
The surgeon reached over a nd jerked the syringe out of the nurse’s hand. "Jane, that’s the sloppiest injection I’ve ever seen!" he snapped. Quickly, his fingers found the vein she had been searching for. Cheeks burning, Jane turned away. Ten years later, Jane’s V oice still trembles when she related the experience.
Some of our male co-workers have it easier. They grew up encouraged to play team sports, and they had to handle a coach’s yells when they dropped the ball. Now they can see that a goof on the job is like dropping the ball in football; the fumble is embarrassing,but you take it in stride and go on.
But for most women, the path to success was different. As girls, we grew up wanting to be popular; we were praised for what we were, not for what we did. So our reaction to criticis m is often, "Someone doesn’t like me. I failed to please. I’m a failure".
"I get defensive," says Rhonda, a teacher, "When someone criticizes me, suddenly I’m a little girl again, being scolded, and I want to make excuses. I want to explai n that it’s not my fault -it’s someone else’s, or I want to hide and cry".
6. Take a Tactful Approach
How about giving criticis m? The old "I-want-to-be-liked" syndrome can make it as hard to give criticis m as to take it. Karen thinks she’s found th e answer.
"Two weeks after I was promoted to first-line supervisor," she remembers, "I had to tell a friend that she was in trouble for not turning in her weekly reports on time. My boss suggested that I tell Judy I didn’t want to fix the blame-I just wanted to fix the problem. That Judy and she offered the solution."
Criticism in the workplace, whether you’re giving it or getting it, is always more effective when you focus on the task rather than on the person. Fixing the problem, not the blame, means that nobody has to feel chewed out or chewed up. We can still feel whole and learn something in the process.
新托福口语练习材料——关于批评(1)
III. Consider
Does criticis m do more harm than good to people?
Arguments
1. One will improve only with criticis m because generally speaking, one knows one’s good qualities better than one’s bad.
2. Criticis m helps people to know their negative qualities better and will add to their self-knowledge.
3. V ery often criticis m is more useful than compliments because those criticized can improve and will not make the same mistakes in the future.
4. Being criticized means to be judged. Such judgment implies a change, we may feel the need to demand it of ourselves.
5. Criticis m works effectively when it focuses on the task that is being done.
6. One should not take a negative attitude towards criticis m, for such an attitude will keep one from knowing what others really think of one.
7. In our childhood we all got a great deal of criticis m and, as a result, learning how to handle criticis m is not new to us.
8. Criticis m to us is like medicine to the sick
9. Only those who care for us will offer us criticis m in order to stop us from erring.
10. Even though some criticis m comes from unfriendly intentions, still it can be taken as a warning.
Counter-arguments
1. Criticis m does more harm than good to one’s confidence and dignity
2. In real life people tend to hold a protective web around themselves in defense against criticis m, for criticis m is usually very hurtful.
3. Criticis m makes people lose confidence and become very negative about themselves.
4. Some people of ill will use their ostensible concern for the growth of others as an excuse to criticized and attack them.
5. It is not uncommon fro many sensible people to withhold their criticis m for fear of being disliked or considered unfair, or for fear of hurting another person.
6. Criticis m, with few exceptions, discredits us, what we have done, or what we plan to do.
7. Criticis m is authoritarian because it sets unreasonable demands on those criticized.
8. Criticism should focus on the problem, if there should be any. V ery often it is the person who gets picked on.
9. Criticis m throws people into frustration rather than urge them to improve.
10. Frequent criticis m makes people completely baffled about how to behave and do things properly
11. Criticis m is not as useful as compliments. Compliments encourage people and offer them a hopeful prospect of themselves of themselves and their lives, but criticis m does the opposite.
Questions
1. Do you think criticis m helps people improve? Why (why not)?
2. How do you react to criticism?
3. Do you criticize others often? Why (why not)? And what do you think of those who like making negative judgments about others?
4. Give an example of how criticism is properly handled.
IV. Write
Work out an outline of your own viewpoints. The outline should consist of major statements and supporting evidence and examples.
Do you write down every word of your speech.
V. Speak
1. Speak according to your outline, or give spontaneous speeches when you disagree with your classmates or when you want to support your own group with similar opinions.
2. Language devices: Y ou are expected to extend your ability to agree or disagree with other people’s opinions and to ask them to explain their points of view.
I couldn’t agree more.
That’s just what I was thinking
I take your point
I guess you could be right
Y ou’re quite right
I wouldn’t go along with you there.
I don’t agree at all
I’m inclined to disagree with that
I am not so sure really
Well, the point I’m trying to make is that...
VI. Sum up
1. The whole class decide on the best prepared speech and the best spontaneous speech
2. The whole class pick out the most convincing statements from the arguments and counter-arguments.
3. The teacher gives comments on students’ ideas and language.