英语幽默故事
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幽默趣味英语故事带翻译笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。
下面店铺为大家带来幽默趣味英语故事带翻译,欢迎大家阅读!幽默趣味英语故事1:There was a banker who attended a dinner party, and a friend said to him, "Oh! I heard that your bank is looking for a cashier," and the banker said "Yes, yes, we are, we are." And then the friend said, "But I thought you just hired one a few weeks ago." So the banker replied, "Yes, yes, indeed, we did. That's the one we're looking for now." So the friend said, "Can you describe him? What does he look like?" And the banker replied, "Well, he is about five feet tall and (we're about) one hundred thousand dollars short."晚宴上,有位银行家坐在那儿,他的朋友问他:“我听说你们银行在找一位出纳,是吗?”银行家回答:“是的,我们是在找。
”朋友说:“不过你们几个礼拜以前不是已经请到一个人了吗?” 银行家说:“我们确实是雇用了一个人,而我们现在就是在找这个人。
” 那个友人说:“你说说看他长什么样子?”银行家回答:“他是五尺(无耻)之士,身长(藏)十万。
幽默英语小故事16篇笑死人的在小学英语教学期间,英语小故事能够为学生的学习提供良好的背景。
幽默英语小故事有哪些呢?本文是店铺整理的幽默英语小故事16篇,欢迎阅读。
幽默英语小故事1.Be Careful What You Wish ForA couple had been married for 25 years and were celebrating their 60th birthdays, which fell on the same day.During the celebration a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple for all 25 years, she would give them one wish each.The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her hand, and Boom! She had the tickets in her hand.Next, it was the husband‘s turn. He paused for a moment, then said shyly, "Well, I‘d like to have a woman 30 years younger than me."The fairy picked up her wand, and Boom! He was ninety.慎重许愿一对结婚25周年的夫妻在庆祝他们六十岁的生日。
他们恰好在同一天出生。
庆祝活动中,一位仙女出现了。
她说,由于他们是已经结婚25年的恩爱夫妻,因此她给许给这对夫妻每个人一个愿望。
妻子想周游世界。
仙女招了招手。
“呯!”的一声,她的手中出现了一张票。
接下来该丈夫许愿了。
【导语】⼀些幽默的英语故事,能提⾼我们阅读英语的兴趣,从⽽提⾼英语的阅读能⼒。
下⾯是分享的三分钟英语幽默⼩故事三篇。
欢迎阅读参考! 三分钟英语幽默⼩故事篇⼀ 推理a fourth-grade teacher was diving her pupils a lesson in logic.”here is the situation,"she said.”a man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river,fishing. he loses his balance,falls in, and begins splashing and yelling for help.his wife hears the commotion, knows he can't swim, and runs down to the bank. why do you think she ran to the bank?"⼩学四年级的教师在给学⽣们讲逻辑学。
“有这样⼀种情况。
”她说:“⼀个男⼈站在河中⼼的⼀条船上钓鱼。
他突然失去重⼼,掉进了⽔⾥。
于是,他开始挣扎并呼喊救命。
他的妻⼦听到了他的喊声,知道他不会游泳,所以她就急忙跑向bank。
请你们告诉我这是为什么?”a girl raised her hand and asked, "to draw out all of his savings?"⼀个⼥学⽣举起⼿答道:“是不是去取他的存钱?” 三分钟英语幽默⼩故事篇⼆ 训兽童a boy of about ten was sitting on a city bus with a briefcase on his lap. periodically the youngster would whisper into his coat.a woman passenger caught his eye with a quizzical look and,in response,the boy produced a small white mouse from his shirt pocket.”he's just a baby."explained the youngster. "his parents are in here. "opening his briefcase,he brought forth a pair of slightly larger. white mice from among a dozen or so that scurried around inside. by this time several other passengers had formed an audience, and the boy patiently explained his interest in mice,how to take care of them, their eating habits, their different personalities and so on.⼀位⼗岁的男孩腿上放着会⽂箱,正坐在⼀辆城市公共汽车上。
英语幽默小故事16篇_英语趣味小故事在繁忙的学习工作中,阅读一些幽默笑话是我们放松心情的好方式。
既然这样,那么你知道英语幽默小故事有哪些吗?下面店铺为大家带来英语幽默小故事16篇_英语趣味小故事,希望大家喜欢!Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue.The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!"The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!"The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE".幽默故事翻译:中间战术三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺。
旁观者等着瞧好戏。
右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌,上书:“大减价!”“特便宜!”左边的商店挂出了更大的招牌,声称:“大砍价!”“大折扣!”中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌,上面只简单地写着:“入口处”。
During World War II, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army. Joan Phillips was one of them. She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers.One evening she met Captain Humphreys at a dance. He said to her, "I‘m going abroad tomorrow, but I‘d be very happy if we could write to each other." Joan agreed, and they wrote for several months.Then his letters stopped, but she received one from another officer, telling her that he had been wounded and was in a certain army hospital in England.Joan went there and said to the matron, "I‘ve come to visit Captain Humphreys.""Only relatives are allowed to visit patients here," the matron said."Oh, that‘s all right," answered Joan. "I‘m his sister.""I‘m very pleased to meet you," the matron said, "I‘m his mother!"幽默故事翻译:在第二次世界大战中,有许多年轻的妇女在军营中服役。
1、Good use of cry 哭的妙用The parents with their three-year-old son went to see film.When they walked into the cinema, the attendant said to them,“you’ll have to go out if your son cries. But we’ll refundyou the tickets.” About half an hour later, the husbandasked his wife, “What do you think of the film?”“I’ve never seen such a boring film.” His wife answered.“It’s not worth seeing.”“I don’t think much of it, either.” The husband said.“Wake the child up and let him cry.”一对夫妇带着他们3岁的儿子去看电影。
进电影院时,服务员对他们说:“如果你们的儿子哭了,你们就得出去。
不过我们会给你们退票的。
”大约半个小时以后,丈夫对妻子说:“你觉得这电影怎么样?”“我从没看过这么没劲的电影。
”妻子回答说,“真不值得看。
”“我也不喜欢看。
”丈夫说:“叫醒孩子,让他哭。
”2、What a Smart Wife家有笨妻A newly married woman was sitting on a chair,looking vexed, when her husband came home."What's up? Why do you look so troubled?"the husband asked. The woman replied,"I'm so sorry. I was ironing your new suit andburned a hole in your trousers." And the man said,"That's all right. I have another pair that is exactly the same.""Thank God you do. I used it to mend this pair,"the wife responded.有一个刚结婚的太太,坐在椅子那边,看起来很懊恼,她先生回家看到她这个样子,就问:‘嗨,你怎么啦?为什么看起来这么懊恼呢?’太太说:‘很抱歉,你那件新做的西装裤被我烫坏了,烫成一个洞了。
英语幽默小故事10篇【引言】学习英语的过程中,阅读幽默小故事不仅能够提高我们的语言能力,还能让我们在轻松愉快的氛围中领略到英语文化的魅力。
下面,就让我们一起来欣赏10篇英语幽默小故事,并在快乐中学习吧!【故事1】Once upon a time, there was a man named Jack who had a peculiar habit of always forgetting his keys.One day, he locked himself out of his house again.Instead of calling a locksmith, he decided to break into his own house through the window.As he was climbing in, he suddenly realized that he had left his keys inside the house!幽默点:Jack忘记带钥匙的习惯以及他试图通过窗户进入自己家的荒谬行为让人捧腹大笑。
【故事2】Mike was a terrible cook.One day, he decided to make dinner for his girlfriend.He spent hours in the kitchen, and when he finally served the meal, it was completely inedible.His girlfriend asked him, "What did you make?" Mike replied, "Well, it"s not quite soup, and it"s not quite stew, but you can call it "soupstew"!"幽默点:Mike的创新菜名“soupstew”让人忍俊不禁,体现了他的幽默感。
英语幽默小故事10篇(带翻译) 线话英语|2016-03-14 17:03:05英语幽默小故事10篇(带翻译)如下:Midway TacticsThree competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue.The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!"The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!"The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE".中间战术三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺。
旁观者等着瞧好戏。
右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌,上书:“大减价!”“特便宜!”左边的商店挂出了更大的招牌,声称:“大砍价!”“大折扣!”中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌,上面只简单地写着:“入口处”。
Very Pleased to Meet YouDuring World War II, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army. Joan Phillips was one of them. She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers.One evening she met Captain Humphreys at a dance. He said to her, "I’m going abroad tomorrow, but I‘d be very happy if we could write to each other." Joan agreed, and they wrote for several months.Then his letters stopped, but she received one from another officer, telling her that he had been wounded and was in a certain army hospital in England.Joan went there and said to the matron, "I‘ve come to visit Captain Humphreys.""Only relatives are allowed to visit patients here," the matron said."Oh, that‘s all right," answered Joan. "I‘m his sister.""I‘m very pleased to meet you," the matron said, "I‘m his mother!"在第二次世界大战中,有许多年轻的妇女在军营中服役。
30个英语幽默童话故事1、农夫和熊英语单词:farmer 农夫、fiy 苍蝇、bear 熊。
Farmer 孤零零一人,他想,要是能找到一个朋友,就好了。
Farmer和bear成了好朋友,他们很开心。
两个朋友手拉手一块儿散步。
Farmer躺下来休息,bear一点也为累,坐在旁边。
“我要睡觉,别把我弄醒。
”Bear忠实地守护着Farmer。
嗡嗡嗡,一只fiy飞来了。
Bear挥了挥前掌,赶走了fiy。
Fiy又落到了Farmer的头上,bear拿起一块大石头嘭的一下砸向fiy。
天啊,Farmer脑袋上血肉模糊,已经死了。
2、农夫和蛇英语单词:snake 蛇、horse 马、son 儿子。
有一位善良的Farmer,总爱帮助别人。
在雪地上他看到一条snake 。
“噢,snake被冻僵了,太可怜了!”“裹进棉衣暖和暖和吧!”Farmer脱下了棉衣。
“进怀里来暖和暖和吧!”Farmer把snake 放进怀里。
snake在怀里蠕动,终于醒过来了。
snake伸出毒针,狠狠地咬了一口Farmer。
“啊!”Farmer倒地地上,horse大声嘶叫。
Farmer的儿子赶来,“哪里跑!”Farmer死前告诫儿子,任何时候都不要可怜恶人。
3、青蛙搬家英语单词:wildgoose 大雁、frog 青蛙、water 水。
frog和两个wildgoose在一起生活的很低快活。
Wildgoose哥哥说:“这儿没有火,咱们到别处去吧。
”Frog嚷着:“我也要和你们一起去。
”“你如何能跟上我们呢?”frog找来一条棍子说:“用这根棍子带上我。
”“好办法,好办法”。
他们都很高兴。
获至宝他们就这样飞起来了。
“大家快来看,wildgoose带着frog飞。
又来到一村,人们喊:“wildgoose真聪明!”frog着急地喊道:“这办法是我想出来的。
”frog从天上摔到地上。
4、狗和肉英语单词:meat 肉、wolf 狼、little dog 小狗、mother dog狗妈妈。
英语小故事3分钟幽默故事带翻译一些幽默的英语故事,能提高我们阅读英语的兴趣,从而提高英语的阅读能力,今天店铺在这里为大家分享一些幽默英语小故事3分钟,希望大家喜欢这些英语故事!3分钟幽默英语小故事篇1Golfing with cowsA man staggers into an emergency room with two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat.一个男人摇摇晃晃地走进了急诊室,两个眼睛是青的,脖子上有明显的五指印。
Naturally the doctor asks him what happened. "Well, it was like this," said the man. "I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife when she sliced her ball into a pasture of cows.医生问他发生了什么。
“额,是这样的,”这个人说。
“我和我老婆来了几局高尔夫,她把球打到一个牛群里。
”"We went to look for it and while I was rooting around, I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end.“我们去找这个球,我四下搜索,发现一头牛的屁股后面有个白色的东西。
”"I walked over and lifted up the tail and sure enough, there was my wife's golf ball -- stuck right in the middle of the cow's butt. That's when I made my mistake."“我走过去,举起了它的尾巴想看清楚,我老婆的球就卡在牛的屁股中间。
英语小笑话带翻译英语小笑话带翻译(精选12篇)笑话具有篇幅短小,故事情节简单而巧妙,往往出人意料,给人突然之间笑神来了的奇妙感觉的特点。
下面是店铺为大家整理的关于英语的小笑话带翻译,欢迎大家的阅读。
英语小笑话带翻译篇1He is really somebody-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.-- He is really somebody. What does he do?-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.他真是一个大人物-- 我叔叔下面有1000个人。
-- 他真是一个大人物。
干什么的?-- 墓地守墓人。
英语小笑话带翻译篇2Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."一位中国老妇人在美国看望女儿回来不久,到一家市银行存女儿送给她的美元。
在银行柜台,银行职员认真检查了每一张钞票,看是否有假。
英语幽默故事带翻译1I'm Trying to Stop It "Boy, why have you got cotton-wool in your ear? Is it infected?" "No, sir, but you said yesterday that everything you told me went in one ear and out the other , so I am trying to stop it." “孩子,你为什么用棉花塞住耳朵?它感染了吗?”“没有,老师。
可是你昨天说你告诉我的知识都是一个耳朵里进,一个耳朵里出,所以我要把它堵在里面。
”英语幽默故事带翻译2“I'm sorry ,Madam ,but I shall have to charge you twenty dollars for pulling your boy's tooth .” “Twenty d ollars! Why ,I understand you to say that you charged only four dollars for such work!” “Yes ,but this youngster yelled so terribly that he scared four other patients out of the office .” “对不起,夫人,为您孩子拔牙我要收取20美元。
” “20美元!为什么?不是说好只要4美元。
” “是的,但是你的孩子大喊大叫,把另外四个病人吓跑了。
”英语幽默故事带翻译3TWO: Teacher:We all know that beat causes an object to expand an cold cauese it to contract. Now,can anyone give me a good example? John:Well ,in the summer the days are long,and in the winter the days are short. 老师:我们都知道热胀冷缩的道理。
现在,谁给我举个例子?约翰:嗯,在夏天天都长,在冬天天都短。
英语幽默故事带翻译4The lecturer on evolution had been going on for nearly two hours. then he started again, and said he:"Let me ask the evolutionist a question --- if we had tails like a baboon, where are they?" "I'll venture an answer, " said an old lady. "We have worn them off sitting here so long.". 教进化论的老师已经滔滔不绝地讲了快两个小时,他的话题又来了:“让我向进化论者提个问题——如果我们曾经像狒狒那样长着尾巴,那么现在尾巴到哪里去了?” “我来试试看,”一位老太太说。
“该是我们在这里坐这么久把它们磨掉了吧。
”其余的事我负责I'll See to the RestA guard was about to signal his train to start when he saw an attractive girl standing on the platform by an open door, talking to another pretty girl inside the carriage. "Come on, miss!" he shouted. "Shut the door, please!""Oh, I just want to kiss my sister goodbye," she called back."You just shut that door, please," called the guard, "and I'll see to the rest."一位列车员正要发出信号让火车启动,这时他看见一位很漂亮的姑娘站在站台上一节打开的车厢门旁边,跟车厢里另一位漂亮姑娘在说话。
“快点,小姐!”他喊道:“请把门关上。
”“噢,我还没有和妹妹吻别呢。
”她回答道。
“请把门关上好了,”列车员说:“其余的事由我负责。
”老夫妻吵架An Old Couple's QuarrelA couple of codgers got into a quarrel and came before the local magistrate. The loser, turning to his opponent in a combative frame of mind(心绪,心情), cried: "I'll law you to the Circuit Court.""I'm willing," said the other."I'll law you to the Supreme Court.""I'll be there.""And I'll law the hell!""My attorney will be there," was the calm reply.一对性情乖僻的老夫妻发生了争吵,一直闹到地方法官那里。
败诉的一方以一种临战的姿态冲着对方嚷道:“我要到巡回法庭去告你。
”“愿意奉陪。
”另一个说。
“我要到最高法院去告你。
”“我也陪你。
”“我还要到地狱去告你。
”“我的代理人会奉陪的。
”对方平静的说。
Skunk臭鼬"We have a skunk in the basement," shrieked the caller to the police dispatcher. "How can we get it out?""Take some bread crumbs," said the dispatcher, "and put down a trail from the basement out to the back yard. Then leave the cellar door open."Sometime later the resident called back. "Did you get rid of it?" asked the dispatcher."No," replied the caller. "Now I have two skunks in there!"“我们的地下室里有一只臭鼬,”打电话的人对警察调度员尖叫道。
“我们怎样才能把它弄出来?”“弄一些面包屑,”调度员说,“从地下室往外铺一条小道直到后院。
然后将地下室的门打开。
”一段时间后,那位居民又将电话打了回来。
“你们将它弄出来了吗?”调度员问。
“没有,”打电话的人答道,“现在那儿有两只臭鼬了。
”Keys? Kiss?钥匙还是接吻导读:一个谐音字闹出的笑话。
A friend of mine was giving an English lesson to a class of adult who had recently come to live in the United States. After placing quite a number of everyday objects(日常用品) on a table, he asked various members of the class to give him the ruler, the book, the pen and so on. The class went very smoothly and the students seemed interested and serious about the work that they were engaged in until when my friend turned to an Italian student and said, "Give me the keys." The man looked surprised and somewhat at a loss(手足无措). Seeing this, my friend thought that the student hadn't heard him clearly, so he repeated. "Give me the keys." The Italian shrugged his shoulders. Then, he threw his arms around the teacher's neck and kissed him on both cheeksThe suspicious-looking man drove up to the border, where he was greeted by a sentry. When the guard looked in the trunk, he was surprised to find six sacks bulging at the seams."What's in here?" he asked."Dirt," the driver replied."Take them out," the guard instructed. "I want to check them."Obliging, the man removed the bags, and sure enough, each one of them contained nothing but dirt. Reluctantly, the guard let him go.A week later the man came back, and once again, the sentry looked in the truck. "What's in the bags this time?" he asked."Dirt, more dirt." said the man.Not believing him, the guard checked the sacks and, once again, he found nothing but soil.The same thing happened every week for six months, and it finally became so frustrating to the guard that he quit and became a bartender. Then one night, the suspicious-looking fellow happened to stop by for a drink. Hurrying over to him, the former guard said, "Listen, pal, drinks are on the house tonight if you'll do me a favor: Just tell me what the hell you were smuggling all that time." Grinning broadly, the man leaned close to the bartender's ear and whispered, "Cars."A Smugglar一个形迹可疑的人开车来到边境,哨兵迎了上去。