雅思大作文批改范例9

有道写作雅思批改全文共四篇示例，供读者参考第一篇示例：有道写作雅思批改是一种针对雅思考试写作部分的辅导服务，通过专业的老师批改学生的作文并提供建议和指导，帮助学生提高写作水平和得分。

有道写作雅思批改服务不仅可以帮助学生了解雅思写作考试的要求和标准，还可以提供个性化的写作指导，帮助学生克服写作难题，打破写作瓶颈，快速提升写作水平。

有道写作雅思批改的服务流程通常包括以下几个步骤：学生需要注册并购买服务，然后按照指定的格式将写作任务提交到有道系统中。

接下来，专业的老师会在规定的时间内对学生的作文进行批改，并在作文中标注错误和提出改进意见。

学生可以通过系统查看批改结果，了解自己的不足之处，并根据老师的建议进行调整和改进。

有道写作雅思批改服务的特点主要有以下几点：1. 专业老师提供指导：有道写作服务的老师都是经验丰富的雅思写作批改专家，能够深入了解学生的写作水平和需求，针对性提出建议和指导，帮助学生解决各种写作难题。

2. 定制化建议：每位学生的写作水平和需求都各不相同，有道写作雅思批改服务可以根据学生的具体情况提供个性化的建议和指导，帮助学生有效提高写作水平。

3. 及时回馈：有道写作雅思批改服务通常在24小时内完成批改，学生可以及时查看批改结果，并根据老师的建议进行调整和改进，从而提高写作效率和质量。

4. 多样化练习题目：有道写作雅思批改服务提供了多样化的写作练习题目，涵盖了雅思写作考试的各个方面，帮助学生全面提高写作能力。

5. 追踪服务：有道写作雅思批改服务还可以提供学生的写作成绩和进步情况追踪服务，帮助学生了解自己的强弱项，及时调整学习计划，针对性提高写作水平。

第二篇示例：有道写作雅思批改是为那些想提高雅思写作能力的学生提供的一项专业化服务。

雅思考试是国际上最具权威性的英语语言能力测试之一，对于许多留学生来说，取得一定的分数是必须的。

而写作部分往往是许多学生的难点，因为它要求考生具备一定的逻辑思维能力、语言表达能力和写作技巧。

Some people get into debt by buying things they don't need and can't afford. What are the reasons for this behaviour? What action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem?It is admitted that every adult in the world has been allured or misguided, at least once or twice, to spend a lot of money on something that beyond their economical ability or even unneeded. This is a common phenomenon and will not hurt much if everything is still under control. However, there are always some people who cross the limitation and put themselves in a dangers situation such as being involved in debt or credit crisis. In this essay, I will briefly analyze the possible reasons of this severe phenomenon and suggest a few solutions to tackle this problem.The most important reason is obvious to everyone. Influenced by the pictures or videos showing the exaggerated rich life of certain milliniors on social websites, some people may lose their mind due to the jealousness and desire to own same life and same things. These people, who only attracted by the glorious face of the rich and ignore their talent and effort on work, are apt to fulfill their thirst by purchasing expensive things that they cannot afford, instead of working harder to pursue financial power. Besides, lacking confidence and under stress also contribute to the misbehaviour.In order to address this problem, what is needed is education. This phenomenon is the result of improper self-consciousness, while a good education, starting form pregnancy all the way to adulthood and beyond, means raising people to be responsible. Moreover, a proper educated people would acquire sufficient skills to hunt a proper job and a variety of decent habits to better their life. Undoubtedly, people who enjoy a happy life would not tend to be allured by the other people’s lives.To sum up, the either real or fictional rich life stories in the mass media do impact some people in a negative way. However, a proper and promptly education could handle the problem from the root.总点评：本篇文章得分: Good。

雅思大作文批改实录2016雅思大作文批改实录精选雅思考试要想取得好成绩，考生们必须好好复习，为了帮助大家更好的备考，下面是yjbys网店铺提供给大家关于雅思大作文批改实录精选，希望对大家的备考有所帮助。

题目When children make mistakes, they should be punished. Do you think so? How should they be punished?学生习作The issue about punishment on children has always been discussed in these days. From my perspective, I strongly agree with the opinion that punishment can help children realise the difference between right and wrong, although some slight problems still exist.The reason why punishment seems to be a must is that this is one of the most efficient method to teach the kids what is right. By criticizing the children who have done something by mistake, they are aware of the danger or wrong of their behaviours. As a result, children will be afraid of to do such a kind of things, which is of benefit to their future life.Although the advantage of punishment is undoubtedly true, the opponents would argue that it might make the kids feel inferior to others. A good case in point is that if a kid is beaten by their parents in front of his classmates, he will regard it as humiliation. When he is faced with his classmates, he might feel inactive and being separated from his friends, which may lead to long-term mental diseases including depression and anxiety.According to the above words I have said, punishment is necessary while the methods must be chosen carefully. Forexample, kids’ mood must be taken good care of so that he can realise his false. Objective persuasion is recommended while the violent behaviours is banned. Since the aim is to help them grow but notto punish them.To sum up, children are our future so we should pay more attention to our ways of punishment.评分：5.5整体评价：文章基本按照题目要求，完成了题目要求的各项内容。

雅思写作9分范文The following is a sample essay written by a student who achieved a band score of 9 on the IELTS Writing task.Topic: The role of advertisements in our modern society.In our modern society, advertisements play a significant role in shaping our choices and influencing our behavior. From billboards on busy streets to pop-up ads on websites, we are constantly bombarded with advertising messages. While some argue that advertisements have a negative impact on society, I believe that when used responsibly, they can be valuable sources of information and entertainment.Firstly, advertisements provide us with valuable information about products and services. In today's competitive market, companies are constantly striving to gain an edge over their competitors. Advertisements serve as a platform for these companies to communicate the features and benefits of their products to potential customers. For example, pharmaceutical companies use advertisements to educate the public about new medications and their potential side effects. Without such advertisements, people would be less informed about their healthcare options. Furthermore, advertisements can be a source of entertainment. Many advertisements these days are designed to be visually appealing and amusing, using creative storytelling techniques and humor to capture the attention of the audience. For instance, Super Bowl commercials have become as eagerly anticipated as the game itself, with companies spending millions of dollars to createentertaining and memorable ads. These ads not only entertain us but also provide a welcome break from the mundane television programming.Moreover, advertisements stimulate economic growth by creating demand and driving consumption. The power of advertisements to influence consumer behavior is well-documented. Advertisements create a desire for products, which in turn stimulates demand and drives consumption. This, in turn, stimulates economic growth by creating jobs, generating tax revenue, and improving the overall standard of living. For example, a successful advertising campaign can lead to increased sales for a company, enabling them to hire more employees and invest in new technologies.Of course, it is important to acknowledge the negative aspects of advertising as well. Advertisements often promote unrealistic beauty standards, leading to body image issues and low self-esteem, especially among young people. Moreover, advertisements can sometimes be misleading or manipulative, making exaggerated claims about the effectiveness or safety of a product. However, it is crucial to remember that these negative aspects are not inherent to advertisements themselves, but rather a result of unethical practices by certain advertisers. Therefore, it is essential to regulate the advertising industry and ensure that advertisements are truthful, fair, and do not exploit vulnerable populations.In conclusion, advertisements play an important role in our modern society. When used responsibly, they provide valuable information about products and services, entertain us, and stimulate economic growth. While it is important to address the negative aspects ofadvertising, it is also crucial to recognize the potential benefits they bring. By striking a balance between freedom of expression and consumer protection, we can harness the power of advertisements to drive positive change in our society.。

9分雅思大作文示范模板解密一、真题题目IELTS Writing Task 2: 'positive or negative' essayHere's my full essay for the 'positive or negative development' question that we've been looking at over the last few weeks.In some countries, many more people are choosing to live alone nowadays than in the past. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?二、9分范文：In recent years it has become far more normal for people to live alone, particularly in large cities in the developed world. In my opinion, this trend is having both positive and negative consequences in equal measure.The rise in one-person households can be seen as positive for both personal and broader economic reasons. On an individual level, people who choose to live alone may become more independent and self-reliant than those who live with family members. A young adult who lives alone, for example, will need to learn to cook, clean, pay bills and manage his or her budget, all of which are valuable life skills. From aneconomic perspective, the trend towards living alone will result in greater demand for housing. This is likely to benefit the construction industry, estate agents and a whole host of other companies that rely on homeowners to buy their products or services.However, the personal and economic arguments given above can be considered from the opposite angle. Firstly, rather than the positive feeling of increased independence, people who live alone may experience feelings of loneliness, isolation and worry. They miss out on the emotional support and daily conversation that family or flat mates can provide, and they must bear the weight of all household bills and responsibilities. Secondly, from the financial point of view, a rise in demand for housing is likely to push up property prices and rents. While this may benefit some businesses, the general population, including those who live alone, will be faced with rising living costs.In conclusion, the increase in one-person households will have both beneficial and detrimental effects on individuals and on the economy. (280 words, band 9)三、【思路分析】四段13句式1.导入段2句(背景+观点)2.主体段1 5句(观点+论据1+例子+论据2+支持句)3.主题段2 5句(观点+论据1+支持句+论据2+支持句)4.结论段1句观点重申【模板解读】这是雅思大作文四段13句式行文结构。

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文档下载后可定制随意修改，请根据实际需要进行相应的调整和使用，谢谢!并且，本店铺为大家提供各种各样类型的实用资料，如教育随笔、日记赏析、句子摘抄、古诗大全、经典美文、话题作文、工作总结、词语解析、文案摘录、其他资料等等，如想了解不同资料格式和写法，敬请关注!Download tips: This document is carefully compiled by theeditor. I hope that after you download them,they can help yousolve practical problems. The document can be customized andmodified after downloading,please adjust and use it according toactual needs, thank you!In addition, our shop provides you with various types ofpractical materials,such as educational essays, diaryappreciation,sentence excerpts,ancient poems,classic articles,topic composition,work summary,word parsing,copyexcerpts,other materials and so on,want to know different data formats andwriting methods,please pay attention!Okay, here is the essay:The weather is really important. It can affect our mood a lot. Like when it's sunny, we feel happy and energetic. But when it's rainy, we might feel a bit down.Learning a new language is hard. There are so many rules and words to remember. It takes a lot of time and practice.Some people love to travel. They get to see new places and experience different cultures. It's really exciting.Music has a powerful effect on us. Different types of music can make us feel different emotions. It can be really amazing.。

雅思大作文9分范文汇总雅思写作应该如何有效的去备考呢，其实大多数的考生对这方面都是没有办法下手的，不知道该怎样备考才会更加有效。

为了帮助大家更好的备考雅思写作，小编特意为大家准备了雅思大作文9分范文汇总，希望对大家的备考有所帮助!雅思大作文9分范文：传统思想在当代是否还有用武之地题目：The older generations tend to have very traditional ideas about how people should live, think and behave. However, some people believe that these ideas are not helpful in preparing younger generations for modern life. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?参考范文：It is true that many older people believe in traditional values that often seem incompatible with the needs of younger people. While I agree that some traditional ideas are outdated, I believe that others are still useful and should not be forgotten.On the one hand, many of the ideas that elderly people have about life are becoming less relevant for younger people. In the past, for example, people were advised to learn a profession and find a secure job for life, but today’s workers expect much more variety and diversity from their careers. At the same time, the ‘rules’ around relationships are being eroded as young adults make their own choices about who and when to marry. But perhaps the greatest disparity between the generations can be seen in their attitudes towards gender roles. The traditional roles of men and women, as breadwinners and housewives, are no longer accepted as necessary or appropriate by most younger people.On the other hand, some traditional views and values are certainly applicable to the modern world. For example, older generations attach great importance to working hard, doing one’s best, and taking pride in one’s work, and these behaviours can surely benefit young people as they enter today’s competitive job market. Other characteristics that a re perhaps seen as traditional are politeness and good manners. In our globalised world, young adults can expect to come into contact with people from a huge variety of backgrounds, and it is more important than ever to treat others with respect. Finally,I believe that young people would lead happier lives if they hada more ‘old-fashioned’ sense of community and neighbourliness.In conclusion, although the views of older people may sometimes seem unhelpful in today’s world, we should not dismiss all traditional ideas as irrelevant.雅思大作文9分范文：罪犯用经历教育青少年题目：Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later, and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?范文：It is true that ex-prisoners can become normal, productive members of society. I completely agree with the idea that allowing such people to speak to teenagers about their experiences is the best way to discourage them from breaking the law.In my opinion, teenagers are more likely to accept advice from someone who can speak from experience. Reformedoffenders can tell young people about how they became involved in crime, the dangers of a criminal lifestyle, and what life in prison is really like. They can also dispel any ideas that teenagers may have about criminals leading glamorous lives. While adolescents are often indifferent to the guidance given by older people, I imagine that most of them would be extremely keen to hear the stories of an ex-offender. The vivid and perhaps shocking nature of these stories is likely to have a powerful impact.The alternatives to using reformed criminals to educate teenagers about crime would be much less effective. One option would be for police officers to visit schools and talk to young people. This could be useful in terms of informing teens about what happens to lawbreakers when they are caught, but young people are often reluctant to take advice from figures of authority.A second option would be for school teachers to speak to their students about crime, but I doubt that students would see teachers as credible sources of information about this topic. Finally, educational films might be informative, but there would be no opportunity for young people to interact and ask questions.In conclusion, I fully support the view that people who have turned their lives around after serving a prison sentence could help to deter teenagers from committing crimes.(287 words, band 9)雅思大作文9分范文：企业社会责任题目：As well as making money, businesses also have social responsibilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?范文：Businesses have always sought to make a profit, but it isbecoming increasingly common to hear people talk about the social obligations that companies have. I completely agree with the idea that businesses should do more for society than simply make money.On the one hand, I accept that businesses must make money in order to survive in a competitive world. It seems logical that the priority of any company should be to cover its running costs, such as employees’ wages and payments for buildings and utilities. On top of these costs, companies also need to invest in improvements and innovations if they wish to remain successful. If a company is unable to pay its bills or meet the changing needs of customers, any concerns about social responsibilities become irrelevant. In other words, a company can only make a positive contribution to society if it is in good financial health.On the other hand, companies should not be run with the sole aim of maximising profit; they have a wider role to play in society. One social obligation that owners and managers have is to treat their employees well, rather than exploiting them. For example, they could pay a “living wage” to ensure that workers have a good quality of life. I also like the idea that businesses could use a proportion of their profits to support local charities, environmental projects or education initiatives. Finally, instead of trying to minimise their tax payments by using accounting loopholes, I believe that company bosses should be happy to contribute to society through the tax system.In conclusion, I believe that companies should place as much importance on their social responsibilities as they do on their financial objectives.雅思大作文9分范文：保护野生动物是浪费题目：Wild animals have no place in the 21st century, so protecting them is a waste of resources. T o what extent do you agree or disagree?范文：Some people argue that it is pointless to spend money on the protection of wild animals because we humans have no need for them. I completely disagree with this point of view.In my opinion, it is absurd to argue that wild animals have no place in the 21st century. I do not believe that planet Earth exists only for the benefit of humans, and there is nothing special about this particular century that means that we suddenly have the right to allow or encourage the extinction of any species. Furthermore, there is no compelling reason why we should let animals die out. We do not need to exploit or destroy every last square metre of land in order to feed or accommodate the world’s population. There is plenty of room for us to exist side by side with wild animals, and this should be our aim.I also disagree with the idea that protecting animals is a waste of resources. It is usually the protection of natural habitats that ensures the survival of wild animals, and most scientists agree that these habitats are also crucial for human survival. For example, rainforests produce oxygen, absorb carbon dioxide and stabilise the Earth’s climate. If we destroyed these areas, the costs of managing the resulting changes to our planet would far outweigh the costs of conservation. By protecting wild animals and their habitats, we maintain the natural balance of all life on Earth.In conclusion, we have no right to decide whether or not wild animals should exist, and I believe that we should do everything we can to protect them.雅思大作文9分范文：外国游客是否应额外收费题目：Foreign visitors should pay more than local visitors for cultural and historical attractions. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?范文：It is sometimes argued that tourists from overseas should be charged more than local residents to visit important sites and monuments. I completely disagree with this idea.The argument in favour of higher prices for foreign tourists would be that cultural or historical attractions often depend on state subsidies to keep them going, which means that the resident population already pays money to these sites through the tax system. However, I believe this to be a very shortsighted view. Foreign tourists contribute to the economy of the host country with the money they spend on a wide range of goods and services, including food, souvenirs, accommodation and travel. The governments and inhabitants of every country should be happy to subsidise important tourist sites and encourage people from the rest of the world to visit them.If travellers realised that they would have to pay more to visit historical and cultural attractions in a particular nation, they would perhaps decide not to go to that country on holiday. To take the UK as an example, the tourism industry and many related jobs rely on visitors coming to the country to see places like Win dsor Castle or Saint Paul’s Cathedral. These two sites charge the same price regardless of nationality, and this helps to promote the nation’s cultural heritage. If overseas tourists stopped coming due to higher prices, there would be a risk of insufficient funding for the maintenance of these importantbuildings.In conclusion, I believe that every effort should be made to attract tourists from overseas, and it would be counterproductive to make them pay more than local residents.。

Some people think that elderly people should live with their children, while others think that they should live in nursing homes. Discuss both views and give your own opinions.
1.当分析青少年犯罪的根本原因的时候，我们应该考虑社会和经济环境。

2.基因工程使人们能培育出抗旱的农作物品种，因此可以提高土地利用率。

3.密集种植对天然植物有严重的负面影响，这可能对农业的可持续发展有威胁。

4.我们应该认识到体育课的重要性，因为它可以促进学生的身心健康，增强他
们的自信心。

5.学校活动的设置要能让孩子体会到成就感和提升他们的幸福。

【Written by Ray in 38 minutes】Nowadays, numerous people claim that humans can do whatever they want to animals. Others, including myself, strongly protest this ridiculous notion.The argument in its favor may involve the recognition that there are no better alternative ways than live animal experiments in carrying out medical research that will benefit researchers greatly, in terms of testing efficiency and overall costs. However, these experiments do bring damages. As a result, a clear line must be drawn somewhere to achieve desired test results on one hand, and to ensure the safety of animals on the other. At least, researchers should at least seek methods on how to alleviate animal’s suffering during their tests. Ideally, a risk evaluation should be conducted by doctors and zoologists before such experiments are performed, which could effectively help to prevent those animals from being killed or tortured.Furthermore, there are various organizations and individuals who are performing cruel operations on live animals to make money, which is completely inhumane. Mostly, such illegal act is implemented in the name of a medical research or an academic exploration. Unfortunately, few of those people are brought to justice because there is no such law in place that can sentence them guilty.In conclusion, it is about time for the entire community to rethink critically and rationally about cruel animal experiments and, measures should be taken. More specifically, a law or some regulations could be made to uphold animals’ right to262 wordsTeacher Kristine ☺。

雅思作文批改作为一名学生，我深知雅思考试对于我们的重要性。

在备考雅思的过程中，我发现了一些值得思考的问题和道理。

首先，我发现很多同学在备考雅思时只注重了语言的表达，而忽略了对于题目的理解和分析。

例如，在写作中，很多同学只是简单地按照题目要求写出一篇文章，而没有深入思考题目背后的意义和要求。

这样的做法虽然能够得到一定的分数，但是无法真正地体现出我们的语言能力和思维能力。

因此，我们在备考雅思时，不仅要注重语言的表达，更要注重对于题目的理解和分析，从而能够更好地展现出我们的语言和思维能力。

其次，我发现很多同学在备考雅思时只注重了练习，而忽略了对于自身问题的反思和改进。

例如，在听力和阅读练习中，很多同学只是简单地做题，而没有对于自己的错误和不足进行反思和改进。

这样的做法虽然能够提高我们的练习效率，但是无法真正地解决我们的问题。

因此，我们在备考雅思时，不仅要注重练习，更要注重对于自身问题的反思和改进，从而能够更好地提高我们的语言能力和思维能力。

最后，我发现很多同学在备考雅思时只注重了分数的高低，而忽略了对于自身能力的提高和发展。

例如，在写作和口语中，很多同学只是简单地追求高分，而没有注重自身的语言能力和思维能力的提高和发展。

这样的做法虽然能够得到一定的分数，但是无法真正地提高我们的语言能力和思维能力。

因此，我们在备考雅思时，不仅要注重分数的高低，更要注重自身能力的提高和发展，从而能够更好地应对未来的挑战。

综上所述，备考雅思不仅要注重语言的表达，更要注重对于题目的理解和分析；不仅要注重练习，更要注重对于自身问题的反思和改进；不仅要注重分数的高低，更要注重自身能力的提高和发展。

只有这样，我们才能够真正地提高我们的语言能力和思维能力，从而更好地应对未来的挑战。

雅思作文批改英语批改雅思作文范文：原文：Nowadays, the issue of whether to give homework to students has sparked a heated debate. Some people believe that homework is an essential part of the learning process, while others argue that it is an unnecessary burden on students. In my opinion, I believe that homework can be beneficial if it is given in moderation and is used as a tool to reinforce learning.Firstly, homework can provide students with the opportunity to review and practice what they have learned in class. This can help to reinforce the concepts andskills that have been taught, and can lead to a deeper understanding of the material. Additionally, homework can also help to develop important study habits and time management skills, which are essential for success inschool and in life.However, it is important to recognize that too much homework can have negative effects on students. Excessive amounts of homework can lead to stress, anxiety, and a lack of sleep, which can have a detrimental impact on students' mental and physical health. Furthermore, if homework is not carefully planned and thoughtfully assigned, it can become a mindless and repetitive task that does not contribute to meaningful learning.In conclusion, while homework can be a valuable toolfor reinforcing learning and developing important skills, it is important that it is given in moderation and is carefully planned. Teachers should consider the individual needs and abilities of their students when assigning homework, and should strive to create assignments that are meaningful and engaging. By doing so, homework can be a beneficial and valuable part of the learning process.批改：Nowadays, the issue of whether to assign homework to students has sparked a heated debate. Some people believe that homework is an essential part of the learning process, while others argue that it is an unnecessary burden on students. In my opinion, I believe that homework can be beneficial if it is given in moderation and is used as a tool to reinforce learning.Firstly, homework can provide students with the opportunity to review and practice what they have learnedin class. This can help to reinforce the concepts andskills that have been taught, and can lead to a deeper understanding of the material. Additionally, homework can also help to develop important study habits and time management skills, which are essential for success in school and in life.However, it is important to recognize that too much homework can have negative effects on students. Excessive amounts of homework can lead to stress, anxiety, and a lack of sleep, which can have a detrimental impact on students' mental and physical health. Furthermore, if homework is notcarefully planned and thoughtfully assigned, it can become a mindless and repetitive task that does not contribute to meaningful learning.In conclusion, while homework can be a valuable toolfor reinforcing learning and developing important skills, it is important that it is given in moderation and is carefully planned. Teachers should consider the individual needs and abilities of their students when assigning homework, and should strive to create assignments that are meaningful and engaging. By doing so, homework can be a beneficial and valuable part of the learning process.改进版：In today's educational landscape, the debate over whether to assign homework to students has become increasingly contentious. While some argue that homework is an essential component of the learning process, others contend that it places an unnecessary burden on students. In my view, I believe that homework can be advantageous if it is assigned in moderation and serves as a tool toreinforce learning.To begin with, homework offers students the opportunity to review and practice the material covered in class. This can help to solidify their understanding of key concepts and skills, leading to a deeper comprehension of the subject matter. Additionally, homework can also foster the development of crucial study habits and time management skills, which are vital for academic success and personal growth.However, it is crucial to acknowledge that an excessive amount of homework can have adverse effects on students. The overwhelming workload can lead to heightened stress, anxiety, and sleep deprivation, all of which can significantly impact students' mental and physical well-being. Moreover, if homework assignments are not thoughtfully planned and tailored to students' needs, they can become mindless and repetitive tasks that do not contribute meaningfully to their learning.In conclusion, while homework can be a valuable toolfor reinforcing learning and cultivating essential skills, it is imperative that it is assigned judiciously and with careful consideration. Educators should take into account the individual needs and abilities of their students when assigning homework, and should strive to create assignments that are meaningful and engaging. By doing so, homework can serve as a beneficial and integral part of the learning process.总结：以上是对原文的改进版本，通过对原文进行修饰和扩展，使得文章更加丰富和生动。

●批改By Will本次批改严格按照ILETS大作文评分标准进行。

ILETS大作文评分项：TR (论证扣题度), CC (连贯性及一致性), GRA (语法范围及精准度), LR (词汇资源)。

文末会进行总评及打分。

●文中标识：用词不当逻辑错误语法错误修改添加When we think of the unpaid community service the participants that spring immediately to mind are the volunteers (高中生也算志愿者，这里不如说的明确一些改为：Social volunteers) or the charitable organizations. But in fact, the community service involves more than such a group of people. The importance of high school students actively performing the community jobs has come in for considerable scrutiny lately, and the idea that the unpaid community service should be a mandatory part of high school programs has certainly not been rejected by those involved in these investigation.On one hand, the main reason is that live skills is important for people,s life. But this kind of unpaid community workor doing voluntary work will help cultivating(sympathy and caring. (这两句话之间用了but，可是并没有明显的转折关系，介于这一段后面也提到了技能，这两句不妨改为并列：Voluntary work would effectively cultivate students with sympathetic thoughts and caring for others, as well as necessary life skills as well.) Not only the students can learn how to with others and work in a team, but also they can how mange their time and improve their organization skills. Nevertheless, (这个词表示“尽管如此”，逻辑上是让步的含义，这里后面一句说的是孩子们课余生活不丰富，和前面完全没有让步的关系。

今天上海环球雅思老师俞伟国为大家带来一份雅思写作之真人真文搬上荧幕-雅思作文完全点评，希望考生们在看完这篇文章之后对雅思写作思路及结构构思有所帮助。

Topic: Children who grow up in families without large amounts of money are better prepared to deal with problems in their adult life than children who are brought up by wealthy parents. Do you agree or disagree?Recently, the problem of how to cultivate the children’s abilities has become a hot issue in society.(第一句话就有问题，the problem of ...... has become a hot issue,翻译成中文就是“一个......的问题如今已经成为了一个......的问题”，而且problem用在这里也有问题，必须正确区分question, problem和issue三者的区别，这里how to cultivate children's abilities 不应该是一个problem,因为problem用在这里含义就跟trouble差不多。

)Most people thought (这里为什么用过去时？过去时说明人们以前这么想，现在已经不这么想了)that children who were bornin poorer families can deal (+with) problems better than those who were born with a silver in their mouthes (应该是with a spoon with silver in the mouth吧？即便如此这种说法也有中式英语之嫌，不推荐使用).However, I want to claim that one’s ability is not associate(d) with his/her family circumstance, whatever (应该用no matter) it’s rich or not, but it depends on his/her education level, environment as well as personality. (这里应该直接而明确地表明你的观点作为statement，即出生穷人家的孩子未必处理问题就强于富人家的孩子。

雅思写作9分范文
《环保意识与可持续发展》
环保意识是当今社会中越来越受到重视的一个话题，人们开始意识到保护环境的重要性，以及可持续发展的必要性。

在雅思写作考试中，这个话题也经常出现，并且对于考生来说，能够深入探讨环保意识与可持续发展的作文会更有深度和分量。

首先，环保意识的重要性不言而喻。

随着工业化进程的加速，地球资源的消耗速度变得越来越快，同时也带来了各种环境问题，比如全球变暖、气候变化、水资源短缺等。

因此，我们需要树立环保意识，意识到自己的行为对地球环境的影响，并且主动做出改变，保护环境。

其次，可持续发展是我们追求的目标。

可持续发展是指在满足当前世代需求的同时，不影响下一代满足其需求的发展模式。

我们需要重视可持续发展，提倡绿色生活方式，减少资源消耗，保护生态环境，以便我们的子孙后代也能够继续享受美好的环境。

在写作中，我们可以从个人、社会和全球层面进行思考。

在个人层面上，我们可以从自身做起，比如节约能源、减少垃圾产生等。

在社会层面上，我们可以探讨政府、企业、NGO等各
种组织对环保意识和可持续发展的推动作用。

在全球层面上，我们可以思考各国如何共同合作，共同应对全球环境问题。

总而言之，雅思写作中关于环保意识与可持续发展的话题是一
个很好的展示自己思考深度和综合能力的机会。

我们应该从多个角度思考这个话题，运用合理的逻辑和丰富的词汇，写出高质量的作文，以获得更高的分数。

雅思9分作文例文及点评下面这篇在2004年考过两次，内容比较难写，很多考生都构思不出内容，因此，我请我的美国朋友按照雅思作文的套路写了篇范文，大家可以学习一下里面的语言和内容。

Unlike most countries，the police in the United Kingdom do not normally carry guns. Some people think it leaves the citizens unprotected，while others believe that this practice reduces the overall violence in society. Discuss both views and use your own experience and evidence.Unlike most countries，the police in the United Kingdom do not normally carry guns. Some people think it leaves citizens unprotected，while others believe that this practi c e reduces the overall violence in society. Police having guns however is an issue secondary to criminals having guns.结构分析：2+1模式，最后一句为主题句，明确地表达了自己的观点。

但是，前两句的问题很严重，即照抄了题目。

Because criminals usually have access to guns，police officers need them in order to control crime. If police in the U.K. are able to go without guns and not have crime getting completely out of control then they have already set a fine example that other countries should follow. The fact that they are able to do this is an indication of their ability to control the flow of guns to the general populace and this makes citizenssafer than anything else. To a civilian，taking guns away from criminals is more important than giving them to police.For places that are not able to，or are unwilling to control this availability of guns to criminals，police have no choice. Countries with weak or ineffective gun laws，or countries bordering such countries，like Mexico which has strong gun laws，but virtually no way to prevent them from being smuggled over the border from the U.S.，need a police force that is not only armed，but is armed better than the criminals. This domestic arms race is the fate of any country that does not realize that civilians have no need of being armed and should have no access to weapons whatsoever.The root of the problem is embarrassingly corrupt governments and ineffective half-measures taken to control the circulation of guns，which allows criminals to easily come into possession of guns. Nations around the world should hope to someday reach the point where their police force can afford not to carry guns and still be effective.。