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雅思大作文批改范例9

雅思大作文批改范例9
雅思大作文批改范例9

Some people think that their children’s liveswill be different from their own. Givereasons and your own experience andexamples. Over the past fifty 50 years, thedevelopment of technology and the economyhas enhanced pe ople’s lives life dramatically.We may find the differences between the lives of our parents and usis obvious.

It is an undeniable fact that the living conditions in last century compared to nowadayswas quite harsh. Take myfamily as an example. When I was a little girl, at my home we owned a nine-inch black and white TV set; besides, and only two TV channels were available during that time. Although it seems unimpressive terrible in the eyes now, in Shanghai during th e early 1980’s Shanghai, it was the most fashionable machinein our neighborhood. I still remember onsummer nights, my father was always requiredto move the TV set to our backyard in thesummer nights, and over ten male neighborscrowded there to watch football matches. However, having a TV set having no longer anoddity been in fashion. These days, anincreasing number of people, can watch various shows via multiple media tools. Since the Internet has been becomewidespread applied in around the world, atpresent, netizens may prefer to watch moviesonline rather than sitting in a sofa waiting for the scheduled TV shows. In addition,computers

and the Internet also enable theirusers to experience different activities at the same time. People can enjoy their favoritesongs meanwhile, while using MSNmassager to video chat with their friends. Theycan also and beside, download Americansitcoms from a public resource shared website. Definitely, this lifestyle was completely totally out of my parents’ im agination.

In conclusion, I would like to say that it is difficult for to us to knowanswer what theworld will be like; however, I am sure that the world for the next generation, however, I amsure it will be far away from ours.

总点评:

本篇文章得分: 5.5

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雅思写作九分作文范文欣赏: There is no doubt that helping students find a job is one of the primary functions of university education,but universities do exist for other purposes such as improving students’ analytical skills and raising students’ moral standards. A university education can be seen as a process of improving students’ analytical thinking. The variety of courses offered at university inspires students in various ways,therefore improving their analytical ability. For example,science courses such as math and biology help students develop a rational way of thinking whereas arts courses such as literature may let students ponder over issues from a logical,multi- dimensional perspective; and courses in social sciences force students to recognize the ideas that have been traditionally assumed to be acceptable and unproblematic.

G类5.5分雅思大作文范文

1.作文题目 School age children and teenagers usually like to do the same things as their friends but parents often have a different idea about what their children should be doing. Should parents always decide how children spend their free time? 2.学生作文 Many school children and teenagers always do the similar stuff together, while their parents usually have different opinions about what their children should do. From my perspective, I think parents should not always decide the free time of children. To begin with, generation gap is a significant problem which happens between parents and children. It is inevitable that children will have different thoughts with their parents. Secondly, as children, they are living in a modern and developing world, which makes them change their minds frequently. However, many parents are quite reluctant to accept new ideas and technologies. Therefore, their views will be dissimilar with their children, which are really impossible to reach an agreement. At last, children prefer trying out new adventurous challenges, whereas their parents are rigid and only want stable life. So parents cannot really control and decide for their children. Furthermore, the ideas of parents are not quite always correct and sometime might mislead their children. Of course, there is no doubt that old people have more life experiences and can handle any difficult situations in most of time. However, the modern world is not as they think as it used to be, so they might under-estimate some circumstances which might have negative effects on their children. For example, most parents believe that as long as their children can obtain higher degrees from universities will definitely have better future. Contrasty, in reality, the abilities and moral standards of children are much more important than just only university degrees. In conclusion, parents should let children to create their own world and give them freedom to assign their leisure time, which might lead them to success eventually. Words: 279 3.老师批改: 文中标识: 用词不当逻辑错误语法错误修改添加 Many school children and teenagers always do the similar stuff together, while their parents usually have different opinions about what their children should do. From my perspective, I think parents should not always decide the free time of children. To begin with, generation gap is a significant problem, which happens between parents and children. It is inevitable that children will have different thoughts with from their parents. For instance, they have their own preference to choosing majors, careers or even the ways of living. (cc:这里需要给出一点他们怎么个不同,比如选未来的职业或者生活等。) Secondly, as

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