分雅思大作文范文

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●批改B y A n g e l a

本次批改严格按照ILETS大作文评分标准进行。ILETS大作文评分项:TR (论证扣题度), CC (连贯性及一致性), GRA (语法范围及精准度), LR (词汇资源)。文末会进行总评及打分。

作文题目

School age children and teenagers usually like to do the same things as their friends but parents often have a different idea about what their children should be doing.

Should parents always decide how children spend their free time

学生作文

Many school children and teenagers always do the similar stuff together, while their parents usually have different opinions about what their children should do. From my perspective, I think parents should not always decide the free time of children.

To begin with, generation gap is a significant problem which happens between parents and children. It is inevitable that children will have different thoughts with their parents. Secondly, as children, they are living in a modern and developing world, which makes them change their minds frequently. However, many parents are quite reluctant to accept new ideas and technologies. Therefore, their views will be dissimilar with their children, which are really impossible to reach an agreement. At last, children prefer trying out new adventurous challenges, whereas their parents are rigid and only want stable life. So parents cannot really control and decide for their children.

Furthermore, the ideas of parents are not quite always correct and sometime might mislead their children. Of course, there is no doubt that old people have more life experiences and can handle any difficult situations in most of time. However, the modern world is not as they think as it used to be, so they might under-estimate some circumstances which might have negative effects on their children. For example, most parents believe that as long as their children can obtain higher degrees from universities will definitely have better future. Contrasty, in reality, the abilities and moral standards of children are much more important than just only university degrees.

In conclusion, parents should let children to create their own world and give them freedom to assign their leisure time, which might lead them to success eventually.

Words: 279

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用词不当逻辑错误语法错误修改添加

Many school children and teenagers always do the similar stuff together, while their parents usually have different opinions about what their children should do. From my perspective, I think parents should not always decide the free time of children.

To begin with, generation gap is a significant problem, which happens between parents and children. It is inevitable that children will have different thoughts with from their parents. For instance, they have their own preference to choosing majors, careers or even the ways of living. (cc:这里需要给出一点他们怎么个不同,比如选未来的职业或者生活等。) Secondly, as children, they are living in a modern and developing world, which makes them change their minds frequently. (意义不明,是想表达)However, many parents are quite reluctant to accept new ideas and technologies. Therefore, their views will be dissimilar with their children, which are really impossible to reach an agreement. At last, children prefer trying out new adventurous challenges, whereas their parents are rigid and only want stable