(完整版)雅思作文批改--经典版(2)

Some people think that their children’s liveswill be different from their own. Givereasons and your own experience andexamples. Over the past fifty 50 years, thedevelopment of technology and the economyhas enhanced pe ople’s lives life dramatically.We may find the differences between the lives of our parents and usis obvious.It is an undeniable fact that the living conditions in last century compared to nowadayswas quite harsh. Take myfamily as an example. When I was a little girl, at my home we owned a nine-inch black and white TV set; besides, and only two TV channels were available during that time. Although it seems unimpressive terrible in the eyes now, in Shanghai during th e early 1980’s Shanghai, it was the most fashionable machinein our neighborhood. I still remember onsummer nights, my father was always requiredto move the TV set to our backyard in thesummer nights, and over ten male neighborscrowded there to watch football matches. However, having a TV set having no longer anoddity been in fashion. These days, anincreasing number of people, can watch various shows via multiple media tools. Since the Internet has been becomewidespread applied in around the world, atpresent, netizens may prefer to watch moviesonline rather than sitting in a sofa waiting for the scheduled TV shows. In addition,computersand the Internet also enable theirusers to experience different activities at the same time. People can enjoy their favoritesongs meanwhile, while using MSNmassager to video chat with their friends. Theycan also and beside, download Americansitcoms from a public resource shared website. Definitely, this lifestyle was completely totally out of my parents’ im agination.In conclusion, I would like to say that it is difficult for to us to knowanswer what theworld will be like; however, I am sure that the world for the next generation, however, I amsure it will be far away from ours.总点评：本篇文章得分: 5.5。

•经济上，发展中国家的劳动力被剥削，资源被取用，而产品却不能够进人发达国家,国内产业受到外商和外企的冲击; •社会上，外国的产品流人一个国家,会改变人们的生活习惯和购买习惯；年轻人比较喜欢外同产品，比如说食品、衣服、电子产品和娱乐方式；•文化上,本土文化会被削弱，本土语言会受到威胁，文化多样性会逐步损失;•环境上,工业化生产和交通量的加大会增加温室气体的排放；游人的增多会对自然环境构成威胁.Topic 1： Increasing travels between countries enable people to learn different cultures or to increase tension between people from different countries?外来人口的增加有利于文化的交流：•游客或者移民都具备经济利益和价值(commercial interest and economic value)；而外同人的停留时间是和东道国的合作密切相关的(The length of stay depends on the cooperation of the host society.)；很多当地人因此表现得非常好客和友好，这有助于文化的交流（Many local people are very friendly and hospitable， which promote the cultural communications。

）；•对其他的文化和人民更为了解（a better understanding of other cultures and other peoples)，改变人们对其他民族和文化的态度（alter one's attitudes towards another people or culture）;人们因此可以接受不同的文化和价值观（embrace different values and cultures），可以和平共处(create motivation to coexist peacefully）, 并促进对”多元文化的理解（promote multi-cultural understanding）；•促进文化的融合（promote integration），消除文化障碍(remove cultural barriers）, 外来人口的增加导致冲突：•违反当地的习俗会激怒当地人（breach of local customs can irritate the locals);•不同文化的人看待同一事物总有不同的角度（harbour different perceptions），并给予不同的解释(different interpretations)，比如对手势、衣服、言行举止有不同的理解；举止不当会引起当地人意想不到的反应（provoke unanticipated responses); •外国游客增多会对当地环境造成压力,甚至破坏环境，而移民增多可能导致工作机会减少，致使竞争更加激烈,这些都有可能引起当地人的反感（cause resentment in local communities）.Globalization is a catch—all term that refers to any activity that involves more than one country，for example， travel from one country to another。

【雅思写作真题】剑桥8Test3⼩作⽂实例批改【雅思写作真题】剑桥8 Test3 ⼩作⽂实例批改“真题：剑桥8 Test3 ⼩作⽂”The diagrams below show the stages and equipment used in the cement-making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.考⽣原⽂Let’s have a look the left diagram which introduces the cement production.In the beginning, the cude materials are Limestone and Clay. Both of them have a shape of beads. We start to put them into a crusher at same time and they become a combinational power. After crushing, place the power into a mixer and pass though a rotating heater which had a heat at bottom. These heated power will go through a Grinder then finally become Cement, and seprate in to different bags.When builders need concrete, the steps show on the right hand side diagram will guide them to get it. Firstly, there should be a concrete mixer which can contain everything. Secondly, add15% of cement, 10% of water, 25% of sand and 50% of Gravel (kind of small stones).Make sure the concentration of each element is correct. Thirdly, keep rotating the mixer. At last the production will be a ultrafine concrete.批改By 晟睿葡萄本次批改严格按照IELTS⼩作⽂评分标准进⾏。

雅思小作文table改写考题 【篇一：雅思小作文题干改写解析】 杭州朗阁为您解析雅思小作文题干改写 朗阁海外考试研究中心 马真 雅思小作文图表题题型包括线图、饼图、柱状图和表格这四种题型，外加一种组合图，比如考试时同时出现一张线图，和一张柱状图。无论是写哪一种图形，我们在考试时，第一句话永远都是改写题干。这就是小作文的固定套路，也是一个得分点。但是笔者在实际教学时发现，有很多同学不知道如何去改，改哪些地方，那么今天我们就来仔细谈一下如何提高这一部分。要知道，题干改写是文章的开头第一句话，一个良好的开头是高分的一半。我们拿真题来举个例子： 剑3真题：the graph blew shows the unemployment rates in the us and japan between march 1993 and march 1999. 以上这句话是考试时所给的题干，很多没有经过培训的同学看到这种题干就会照抄，这样做当然会扣分。因此，我们在备考时，大家需要总结这样的题干应该如何去改写，如总结题干中的show我们应该怎么处理，题干中的时间表达between march 1993 and march 1999应该如何去改写。 【高分版】the graph indicates the jobless rates in the us and japan from march 1993 to march 1999. 大家会发现，高分同学的改法，基本将原来的题干主语，谓语，和宾语部分都做了改写，并同时保持语法正确，语意没有变化，句型精练不罗嗦。将原来的show改成了indicate并注意加了第三人称‘s’。尤其需注意的是，高分同学需要考虑失业率the unemployment rates如何去改写更好，让自己的语言尽可能地道。但是，很多同学为了追求华丽用词，反而会越改越错，如果实在吃不准自己的用词，建议不要作太大改动，将能改动的时间和show尽可能改掉，其余的还是保留，尤其是只需要考5.5分就够了的同学。毕竟让考官看懂你在写什么，才是最重要的。 【保本版】需要考5.5分，基础很差的同学可以参考。 the （line可加也可以不加） graph indicates（这个词大家背一下谁都能会，因此还是改了） the unemployment（这个词不会改，那就放着不要动） rates in the us and japan from march 1993 to march 1999.（最后时间from…to改写难度不大，因此改掉） 虽然改动得不多，不能加太多分，但是毕竟没有错误，这样可以保住开头第一句不错，至少语法分是不会被扣了。考试时，大家可根据自己的水平，衡量采取哪个版本，但是在平时，我们还是应该多积累高分版本的改法。 【低分版】反面教材，请大家引以为戒，不要犯类似错误。 the graph below show the unemployment rate in the us and japan during 7 years from march 1993 to march 1999. 不知道细心的同学有没有发现，这个开头存在很多小错误，下面我们来简单分析一下。 常见错误一：below。这个below其实是不用写的，大家想一下，考官出题的时候题干下面放了一张图。但考生在写作文的时候，文章下面有图吗？因此这个below建议去掉。 常见错误二：show。很多语法不好的同学一定要注意，这个词粗看好像没有什么问题，很多同学看到这个词，以为它是错在照抄了题干。其实不然，细心的同学会发现这句话主语是the graph第三人称单数，而谓语动词写的却是show, 犯了最基本的语法错误，应该改为shows。 常见错误三：句子中将年份数错，误以为93年也算一年，因此算成了7年，这个大家一定要小心，其实跨度是6年。另外，时间状语完全可以写得简单一点，不需要添加during … years。可以将这个“在…年间”(during…years)放在第二句话的开头，用来引出第一段第二句话的总趋势(overview)。例如： the graph indicates the jobless rates in the us and japan from march 1993 to march 1999. over the span of six years（在总的六年间）, the us rate experienced a downward trend while japan saw an opposite trend. 以下笔者再提供一些常见的开头形式： 1. 如果表格的数据较多，我们就可以这样改写： … in six cities. （注意：这里六个城市没有必要一个一个写出来） 2. 直接描述比例或数量 consumer durables from 1972 to 1983. 3. 遇到地图题或流程图我们可以这样改： 朗阁海外考试研究中心建议考生们在备考时要多总结题干的改写方法，总结相关的用词，在考试时，在尽可能保证不错的基础上，再去追求高分，相信一定能在开头给考官留下一个好印象。 【篇二：雅思小作文图表题经典套句】

作文题目：剑桥8 Test4小作文The graph below shows the quantities of goods transported in the UK between 1974 and 2002 by four different modes of transport.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.考生原文The line diagram which indicates the goods transported in UK between (1974) and (2002), according to different ways of transport and the tonnes they carried. Among these lines, water and rail both start with the similar value 40 million tonnes at 1974. After 4 years, the amounts of goods that carried by ship had an increase. However, the amounts that transported by trains went down. Though water line had a decrease from 1982 to 1998, the overall value of it always above the rail line.The most obvious line which can find on the top of chart is the quantity of goods that transported by road. It held the highest position during 28 years(start at 78 tonnes and finish at 98 tonnes). Turning to the bottom of the chart, the black straight line reveal the pipeline. It is clear that the black line had two climbing points, but it is still the minimum figure.Overall, the chart demonstrates that the technology is developing. Because all the lines have a positive gradient or the final value is greater than start value.批改By 晟睿葡萄本次批改严格按照IELTS小作文评分标准进行。

文章结构：Introduction, 1-2 sentences, rewrite the questionBody1, 1+X sentences, 第一句总体概括，X句具体介绍数字Body2, 1+X sentences, 第一句总体概括，X句具体介绍数字Conclusion, 1-2 sentences, 第一句介绍总数（可不写）；第二句做总结。

开头段：1-2句，转述原题转述原题3法：①添加单词②删除单词③替换单词（注意：改动不需过多，3-4处，即可）原题一句变两句，两句变一句。

全部改写，要保证语法、句型的正确性。

开头段的时态：永远一般现在时【原文】The table shows the results of a survey in 2004 which asked undergraduate and postgraduate students of a UK university whether they were satisfied with the facilities at the university.【改写】The diagram gives a breakdown（明细表）about different attitudes among undergraduate and postgraduate students towards equipments of a UK college in the year 2004.【原文】The chart below shows the different levels of post-school qualifications in America and the proportion of men and women who held them in 1999.改后：The bar chart illustrates the diverse levels of post-school certificates in the US and the percentage of males and females holding them in 1999.Level out (变得水平；持平)Example: In 1985, earnings leveled out amongst people with a Master’s degree and with a Doctoral degree.句型、词汇、短语：As shown in the first/second …….. ,According to the …….. ,Overall, it can be seen thatThis table shows a striking difference/similarity betweenThe most striking feature of the graph is the sudden increase in the popularity in the computer games.Another fact worth noticing in the graph is that …….后面接完整的句子如果要跟名词不加thatAnother fact worth noticing in the graph is the high cost of fuels.The most remarkable point is that …….The graph shows the difference between the percentages注意用复数of males and females doing full-time jobs.在表示百分数时可以用percent或percentage percentage的一个意思就是百分比(名词)就不能直接跟在数词后面,要表示"百分之36"时,只能说"a PERCENTAGE of 36" 而不是"36 PERCENTAGE"(因为percentage只能作名词);前者用法是: 数词+percent+of+sth;这时后面谓语的单复数以percent后面跟的主语为主,例如:2 percent of the apples(这里是复数的可数名词) are(所以用复数) eaten.2 percent of the apple(这里是单数,指的是一个苹果的一部分) is(用单数) eaten.2 percent of the water(这里是不可数名词) is(单数) drunk.后者的用法是The percentage of +sth+ is, 注意这里不管后面跟的是什么词,都用is(这里忽略别的时态)1.The percentage of the students is 46.2.The percentage of the water is 46.The size of the population will increase shaply in the future..75.6 percent of the male population over sixteen ... …16岁以上男性人群的75.6％.A small/large proportion of students are ……..In Britain people spent the smallest amount of money on personal + sth.大量 a large/considerable/substantial number of 可数 a large/considerable/substantial amount of不可数少量 a small/limited/tiny number of a few of a small/limited/tiny amount of a little ofLots of /a lot of /plenty of 即可用于可数也可用于不可数过去一段时间内的情况变化，用过去式。

相信对于⼀一些雅思写作想要取得⾼高分的⼩小伙伴⽽而⾔言，经过了了⼀一段时间的写作练习，会觉得迷茫和⽆无能为⼒力力，这⼀一点我感同身受。

在这个时候，最好的办法就是停下来，精读⼏几篇考官范⽂文，仔细品评其中的奥秘，然后进⾏行行仿写,有时候花⼏几⼩小时甚⾄至更更⻓长时间分析⼀一篇范⽂文，⽐比⼀一直上课和漫⽆无⽬目的的写作练习来得有效得多！接下来，我们就⼀一起赏析C5T2⼤大作⽂文，关于间隔年年的利利弊分析。

题⽬目如下：In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies.Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.这道题在审题环节需要⼤大家注意问题部分的限定for young people who decide to do this，⼤大家⼀一定要从有间隔年年经历的年年轻⼈人的⻆角度去分析利利弊，⽽而不不是从其他视⻆角。

同时，另⼀一个值得⼤大家注意的地⽅方在于，这个问法的特殊性，按道理理discuss advantages and disadvantages类型的题⽬目，作者并不不是⼀一定要给出明确的倾向性，即好⼤大于坏还是坏⼤大于好的，也就是可以只是讨论⼀一下好处和好处，也可以给出好⼤大于坏或者坏⼤大于好这样的倾向。

本篇范⽂文，考官的⽴立场是有⼀一定倾向的。

请⼤大家仔细分析！接下来我们就来欣赏⼀一下开头段吧It is quite common these days for young people in many countries to have a break from studying after graduating from high school. The trend is not restricted to rich students who have the money to travel, but is also evident among poorer students who choose to work and become economically independent for a period of time.这个开头段看似⽐比较⻓长，其实只完成了了⼀一件事introduce the topic 即gap year这⼀一⽇日益普遍的现象。

【第66期】IELTS雅思考试Task 2大作文8分范文中英对照本期Topic1.人工智能与就业前景The rise of artificial intelligence is reshaping the job market. To what extent do you believe that advancements in AI will impact employment opportunities? Discuss the potential benefits and challenges of AI in the workforce and propose strategies for individuals and governments to adapt to the changing nature of work.人工智能的崛起正在重塑就业市场。

你认为AI的进步在多大程度上会影响就业机会？讨论AI在劳动力中的潜在利益和挑战，并提出个人和政府可以采取的策略，适应工作性质的变化。

2.塑料污染与环境保护Plastic pollution is a global environmental issue. To what extent do you believe individuals and industries should be responsible for reducing plastic waste? Discuss the environmental impact of plastic pollution and propose measures that both individuals and businesses can take to minimize their plastic footprint.塑料污染是一个全球性的环境问题。

你认为个人和企业在多大程度上应该负责减少塑料废弃物？讨论塑料污染对环境的影响，并提出个人和企业可以采取的措施，减少塑料足迹。

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museum out weight the disadvantages?Museums can always attract great public attention for the significant role of protecting and spreading knowledge they play in the world. In order to better the maintenance of museum, some people suggest that many should be requested for the entrance of museum. However, although I understand funds are crucial to improve exhibition quality and the protection of exhibits, I do not believe there are more advantages of charging for admission than disadvantages.The biggest shortage of charging entrance fee is that it prevent the visiting of some people especially the poor. Museum is a chest of human treasure. It plays an important role of education by collecting and displaying hundreds and thousands of items of different fields including arts, techniques, history, geography and so on. They are the treasure of all humans, thus should be open to them all, especially for the poor who has limitted resource of learning. Moreover, museum is also an important place for research where plenty of students and researchers visiting almost every day. The entrance fee is highly probable to be unaffordable for them considering the frequency of their visiting.Although, there is no denying that charging for admission can gather a considerable amount of money, which is essential for the living of a museum. Museums will be overburden because they have to pay all the bills to maintain display items, organize educational activities and collect new items. However, these funds can be obtained from donatior, public organizations and the government.To sum up, the disadvantages of charging for museum is unaffordable, while public attention and government priority should be stimulated to guarantee the income of the museum.总点评：本篇文章得分：Fair。

雅思写作大作文必看高分范文TASK 2: 高分范文一Individuals can do nothing to improve the environment; only governments and large companies can make a difference. To whatdo you agree or disagree?Nowadays, an increasing number of people are concerned about environmental protection and regard it as one of the most important challenges. However, whether only governments and big firms have resources and powers to preserve our environment is a controversial issue. My view is that every single citizen could also make a huge difference.In the first place, it is clear that it is human activities that have the greatest impact throughout the history. Both environment contamination and conservation are the long-term process, and no single government or big company can meet this challenge alone. So whoever created the problem should be responsible for solving it; environment protection needs every one of us to continuously participate in.Moreover, the public’s wills and behaviors have critical influence on government’s policies and companies’strategies. For example, if everyone says “no” to plastic shopping bags and paper cups, the companies that manufacture such products will switch to environmental-friendly substitutes in order to survive in the market.However, that is not to say that governments and large companies cannot positively contribute. Indeed, governments can enact laws and introduce programs to raise the public’s low-carbon awareness; companies can promote green products to change the public’s consuming habits. But they also need every citizen’s appreciation and support to bring good results.In sum, no effort is too small when we are protecting the environment. Meanwhile, local authorities and organizations must shoulder their responsibility to develop low-carbon economy at the macro level. Only by doing so can we assure that we could hand this beautiful planet to our next generation and the next generation after.TASK 2: 高分范文二-----ArgumentationThe Internet has dramatically altered our lives over the past few decades. Although some of these changes have been negative, the overall effect of this technology has been positive. What are your opinions on this?The Internet has brought significant changes to our lives in recent years. However, there remains some disagreement as to whether the overall effect of this technology has been positive or negative. While there are certainly valid arguments to the contrary, I personally believe that the benefits of the Internet far outweigh its drawbacks and these benefits are twofold.First of all, it is an indisputable fact that the Internet has revolutionized the way we communicate. Despite the risk of social isolation-a problem occasionally seen in people who spend too much time at their computer terminal rather than relating to people in the real world-most of us have benefited greatly from e-mails and Internet chat programs like MSN Messenger. These incredibly useful and powerful tools of communication facilitate both contact with loved ones in faraway places and global trade.Moreover, the Internet has placed the entire world (and all of the information in it) at our fingertips. In earlier times, conducting research entailed long hours searching library shelves. Now, however, the same information can be accessed at the click of a button. Admittedly, not all of the information available on the Internet is reliable or helpful-there is a vast amount of material online that some would consider offensive or dangerous, ranging from pornography to instructions on how to make bombs. Nonetheless, I would contend that this free flow of information has generally been a very positive development.By way of conclusion, I once again reaffirm my position that the Internet has had a positive impact on modern life because of its influences on communication and the flow of information.TASK 2: 高分范文三-----ReportWith divorce rates and family breakdowns increasing globally, it is generally accepted that families today are not close as they used to be.Discuss the causes of this problem and offer some possible solutions to it.Divorce and family breakdown were virtually unheard of just 100 years ago. Now, however, almost half of all marriages fail. This phenomenon is symptomatic of the growing distance between family members in modern society. In this essay, I intend to explore the sources of this problem along with some possible solutions to it.Chief among the causes of this problem is the modern lifestyle. Today’s parents have to work harder than those of previous generations to support their families. Traditionally, one parent assumed the role of breadwinner, while the other-typically the mother-acted as the homemaker. Recently, though, double income families have become the norm. Consequently, an increasing number of children now grow up in a parentless environment. Little wonder, then, that they feel alienated. Another contributing factor is the passive and solitary nature of many modern forms of entertainment.In order to solve this sense of alienation within families, I believe we must first address its root causes. Perhaps the most effective method of doing this would be for governments to offer financial incentives to parents who choose to remain at home and take care of their families. Admittedly, such incentives would probably not fully compensate couples for lost income; however, they would at least soften the hardship of living on a single income and provide an alternative for parents who would rather remain at home but are unable to do so because of financial constraints. One further measure would be to promote more interactive leisure activities in the community through public education campaigns.In conclusion, I believe that this is clearly a problem of such complexity that no solution is likely in the short term. However, I believe that the measures outlined above would constitute a good first step.Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while other think it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.As a result of constant media attention, sports professionals in my country have become stars and celebrities, and those at the top are paid huge salaries. Just like movie stars, they live extravagant lifestyles with huge houses and cars.Many people find their rewards unfair, especially when comparing these super salaries with those of top surgeons or research scientists, or even leading politicians who have the responsibility of governing the country. However, sports salaries are not determined by considering the contribution to society a person makes, or the level of responsibility he or she holds. Instead, they reflect the public popularity of sport in general and the level of public support that successful stars can generate. So the notion of “fairness” is not the issue.While those who feel that sports stars’ salaries are justified might argue that the number of professionals with real talent are very few, and the money is a recognition of the skills and dedication a person needs to be successful. Competition is constant and a player is tested every time they perform in their relatively short career. The pressure from the media is intense and there is little privacy out of the spotlight. So all of these factors may justify the huge earnings.Personally, I think that the amount of money such sports stars make is more justified than the huge earnings of movie stars, but at the same time, it indicates that our society places more value on sport than on more essential professionals and achievements.In many countries, the proportion of older people is steadily increasing. Does this trend have more positive or negative effects on society?In more and more developed countries we see the following trends: incomes rise, people get married later and have fewer kids. The result is the demographics change and the population ages. While having more old people sounds like a good thing (as they tend to be kind and warm-hearted), it can have a serious impact on economies and societies.Co nsider, for example, that in order for a country’s GDP to grow it needs to produce more goods and services each year. With an aging population and more people retiring, fewer are left to work, creating an economic hole. The result is that such countries have to rely on immigration to fill the gap and this is a less-than-desirable solution.Consider also, that as more people reach their twilight years they will face increasing health problems and this puts huge pressure on health care and other social programs. In most countries the government pays for at least some of the costs of health care, not to mention things like pensions, all of which means a big bill someone has to pay for.To be fair, however, we should be careful not to direct our anger towards old people themselves. Old people can still make contributions to society, whether it means helping look after grandchildren, working part time or even doing voluntary work. On an individual level, old people can be a real treasure.To sum up, governments should recognize the challenges of an aging society and take the appropriate action. But in addition to fixing the short-term impact of an older society, they should also look at the bigger picture and do their best so that in the future we have a better age balance.。