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英语经典幽默笑话及翻译笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。
在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。
下面店铺为大家带来英语经典幽默笑话及翻译，希望大家喜欢!英语经典幽默笑话1：There was once a large，fat woman who had a small，thin husband. He had a job in a big company and was given his weekly wages every Friday evening. As soon as he got home on Fridays，his wife used to make hirn give her all his money，and then she used to give him back only enough to buy his lunch in the office every day.曾有一位块儿大、膘肥的女人，她的丈夫却是瘦小、干瘪。
丈夫是在一家大公司做事。
每到周五晚上领到工资，也正是周五这位丈夫回家时，老婆就让他把所有钱都交出来，然后再给他一点儿在办公室吃午饭的钱。
One day the small man came home very excited. He hurried into the living-room. His wife was listening to the radio and eating chocolates.”You'll never guess what happened to me today，dear,"he said. He waited for a few seconds and then added:“I won ten thousand pounds on the lottery!”一天，这位小丈夫回到家，兴奋得不得了。
他匆匆忙忙地来到起居室。
高中英文笑话带翻译欣赏冷笑话不同于一般的笑话，以其独特的制笑机制，能瞬间制造出一种特殊氛围。
本文是高中英文笑话带翻译，希望对大家有帮助!高中英文笑话带翻译：I Wasn't AsleepWhen a group of women got on the car, every seat was already occupied. The conductor noticed a man who seemed to be asleep, and fearing he might miss his stop, he nudged him and said: “Wake up, sir!""I wasn't asleep," the man answered."Not asleep? But you had your eyes closed.""I know. I just hate to look at ladies standing up beside me in a crowded car."我没有睡着当一群妇女上车之后,车上的座位全都被占满了.售票员注意到一名男子好象是睡着了,他担心这个人会坐过站,就用肘轻轻地碰了碰他,说：“先生,醒醒!”“我没有睡着.”那个男人回答.“没睡着?可是你眼睛都闭上了呀?”“我知道,我只是不愿意看到在拥挤的车上有女士站在我身边而已.”高中英文笑话带翻译：我是来给你安装电话的A young businessman had just started his business, and rented a beautiful office. Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear busy, the businessman picked up the phone and pretended that he had a big deal working. He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments.Finally, he hung up and asked the visitor. "Can I help you?" The man said, "Sure. I've come to install the phone."一个年轻人刚刚开始做生意，就租了一个漂亮的办公室。
关于爆笑的英语笑话带翻译精选关于爆笑的英语笑话带翻译精选笑话几乎涵盖人们生活的所有领域,其中包括政治笑话、经济笑话、家庭生活笑话、关于民族性格的笑话等。
本文是关于爆笑的英语笑话带翻译，希望对大家有帮助!关于爆笑的英语笑话带翻译：给我捎杯牛奶At 2 a. m. Mrs. Culkin was convinced that she had heard a prowler in the living-room. Tiptoedown-stairs, she told her husband, "Don' t turn on the lights. Sneak up him before he knowswhat's happening."Dutifully Mr. Culkin put on his robe. Just as he reached the bedroom door,his wife added, "And when you come back, bring me a glass of milk."半夜两点，科尔肯太太确信听到客厅有贼，便对丈夫说：“别开灯，蹑手蹑脚下楼，别让贼发觉，悄悄靠近他。
” 科尔肯先生披上外套，责无旁贷地去捉贼。
刚走到卧室门口，他妻子又补充说：“回来时给我捎杯牛奶。
”关于爆笑的英语笑话带翻译：婚姻的成本A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"And the fatherreplied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying."一个小男孩问他的父亲，“爸爸，要花多少钱才能结婚呢?”“我也不知道，我现在还在交钱。
高中爆笑英语笑话带翻译高中爆笑英语笑话带翻译一：Drunken Humour 醉汉的幽默Wife: Dear, you looked quite drunk last night and you kept repeating the same thing at the table.Husband: Really? Then dont believe anything said by a drunken person. By the way, what did I say to you?Wife: I love you, dear.妻子：友爱的，你昨晚看上去真的醉了，饭桌上老唠叨一件事。
丈夫：真的吗?千万别信一个醉汉说的话，对了，我都说了什么?妻子：我爱你，友爱的。
高中爆笑英语笑话带翻译二：送出去还有的`东西What can Santa give away and still keep?Answer: a cold.什么东西圣诞老人可以分送出去，自己却也还留着?答案：感冒。
高中爆笑英语笑话带翻译三：圣诞老人的爱好What does Santa Claus like to do in his garden?Answer: he likes to hoe, hoe, hoe.圣诞老人喜爱在花园里做什么?答案：锄地。
(英文里Hoe 和ho同音。
hoe是锄草之意，ho 则是圣诞老人的笑声。
)高中爆笑英语笑话带翻译四：Falling Down 他肯定是在吹牛A man is fibbing away about how great things are in his country. Finally, he starts describing the tall buildings in his country.There is a building so tall, it took my friend Alex 7 hours to fall off it!Oh, my God! says his friend. Surely he must have died! Of course. He was without food or water for 3 days!一个人在吹牛，说他们国家得事情是多么不行思议。
英语爆笑笑话5篇带翻译超搞笑的下面是店铺整理的英语爆笑笑话5篇，欢迎大家阅读!英语爆笑笑话一：Hospitality好客The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-piewithout any cheese.由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时，家里没有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。
The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returnedwith a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate.这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。
过了一会儿，他拿着一片奶酪回到房间，把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。
The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You musthave better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?"客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。
你在哪里找到的奶酪?”"In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy.“在捕鼠夹上，先生。
”那小男孩说。
英语爆笑笑话二：太黑了，看不见After supper, the parents were busy playing mah-jong with the guests. At this point the mother thought of something and said to her son who was watching TV, "Honey, go see if the kitchen light is on or not?" After a while, her son returned and said, "Ma, the kitchen is so dark that I cannot see it at all."晚饭后，父亲和母亲都忙着和客人玩麻将，这时母亲忽然想起点儿事来，便对正在看电视的儿子说道：“宝贝，去看看厨房里的灯是不是还开着呢?”过了一会儿，儿子回来说：“妈，厨房里太黑了，我根本就看不见。
高中幽默英语笑话译文1：Arthur was sitting outside his local pub one day，enjoying a quiet pint and generally feeling good about himself, when a Nun suddenly appears at his table and starts decrying the evils of drink.一天，亚瑟正坐在当地酒吧的外面，享受着啤酒的美味，逍遥自得。
这时一个修女突然出现在他的桌前，开始谴责饮酒所带来的罪恶。
"You should be ashamed of yourself young man! Drinking is a the blood of the devil!”“年轻人。
你应该为你自己而感到耻辱!喝酒是一种罪过!酒精就像是魔鬼的鲜血!”Now Arthur gets pretty annoyed about this，and goes on the offensive. "How do you know Sister?"这时亚瑟感到有些厌烦就开始辩解:“大姐你是怎么知道的?”"My Mother Superior told me so.”“我们修道院的院长这么告诉我的。
”"But have you ever had a drink yourself`? How can you he sure that what you are saying is right?"“但是你自己从来没有喝过，你怎么就知道你说的是正确的呢?”"Don’t be ridiculous一of course I have never taken alcohol myself.”“别开玩笑了，我自己当然没有沾过酒了。
”"Then let me buy you a drink，一if you still believe afterwards that it is evil 1 will give up drink for life.”“那么我请你喝一杯吧。
高中英语好笑笑话带翻译汉字的“冷”说明了汉语冷笑话的特性,即用一种不合逻辑荒谬的推理来娱乐大众。
下面小编整理了高中英语好笑笑话带翻译，希望大家喜欢!高中英语好笑笑话带翻译摘抄考你的推理能力Four friends live in a small town. Their names are John, Miller, Smith and Carte. They all havedifferent jobs. One is a policeman, one is a cook, one is a farmer, and one is a doctor.It's Tuesday afternoon. John's son breaks his leg and John takes him to the doctor. Thedoctor's sister is Smith's wife. The farmer isn't married. He has a lot of hens.Miller often buys eggs from the farmer. The policeman sees Smith and Miller every day for theyare neighbours.Now who is the policeman? Who is the cook? Who is the farmer? Who is the doctor?1. John is a _______.A. doctorB. farmerC. policemanD. cook2. Miller is a _______.A. doctorB. policemanC. cookD. farmer3. Smith is a _______.A. farmerB. policemanC. cookD. doctor4. Carter is a _______.A. doctorB. policemanC. cookD. farmer【答案与解析】这是一篇推理性文章，要求根据所给出提示，猜出各自的职业。
爆笑的英语笑话大全带翻译近年来,冷笑话作为一种新兴的语言现象在网络、杂志上十分盛行。
我细心收集了爆笑的英语笑话大全带翻译，供大家欣赏学习!爆笑的英语笑话大全带翻译：还没那么急Looking very unhappy, a poor man entered a doctors consulting-room. "Doctor,' he said, "you must help me. I swallowed a penny about a month ago.' "Good heavens, man!' said the doctor. "Why have you waited so long? Why dont you come to me on the day you swallowed it?' "To tell you the truth, Doctor,' the poor man replied, "I didnt need the money so badly then.'一个看起来很难受的穷人走进大夫的诊室。
"大夫!' 他说，"帮帮我!一个月前我吞了一分硬币!' "天哪，' 大夫说，" 早干嘛去了?你当时怎么不来看?' "实话告知您吧，大夫，'穷人说，"我当时还不缺钱!'爆笑的英语笑话大全带翻译：老夫妻吵嘴A couple of codgers got into a quarrel and came before the local magistrate. The loser,turning to his opponent in a combative frame of mind, cried: Ill law you to the CircuitCourt.一对性情乖僻的老夫妻发生了争吵，始终闹到地方法官那里。
高中英语幽默笑话带翻译精选笑话一般指短小、滑稽的故事,是一种民间口头创作形式,在民间文化中以口口相传的形式传播。
下面是我带来的高中英语幽默笑话带翻译，欢迎阅读!A Tough TeacherA school teacher friend of mine injured his back and had to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body. On his first day of the term, still with the cast under his shirt, he wasassigned to teach the most undisciplined class. Stepping confidently into the rowdy classroom, he opened the window as wide as possible. Just then, a strong breeze made his tie flap. Trying tofix the tie , he took a blackboard eraser and hammered a large tack through his tie into his chest.He had no trouble with discipline that term.Notes:***1*** injure v.伤害***2*** plaster cast n. 石膏绷带;石膏夹***3*** assign v.分配;分派***4*** undisciplined adj.缺乏纪律的***5*** rowdy adj.粗暴而吵闹的***6*** breeze n.微风***7*** flap v.上下或左右移动***8*** eraser n.黑板擦Exercises:根据短文填空：① A school teacher friend of mine _____his back and had to wear a plaster cast______ the upper part of his body.② He was _____to teach the most undisciplined class.③______ confidently into the rowdy classroom, he opened the window as wide as possible.④ just then, a strong_______ made his tie flap.⑤ He had no trouble________ discipline that term.28.强悍的教师我有一位作教师的朋友弄伤了他的背，因此上身不得不穿石膏罩。
高中英语好笑笑话带翻译篇一：英语幽默笑话带翻译英语幽默笑话带翻译1:A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital. His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: “I think that he is very ill.”“I am afraid that he is dead.”said the doctor, Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: “I’m not dead. I’m still alive.”“Be quiet, “said the wife. “the doctor knows better than you!”医生懂得多一个男人在街上被出租车撞倒送进了医院.他的妻子站在他的床前对医生说:”我想他伤得很厉害.”医生说:”我怕他已经死了.”听到医生的话,这个男人转动着头说:”我没死,我还活着.”妻子说:”安静,医生比你懂得多.”2:You can’t go without meThe bus is very tries to get on,but no one gives way to him. “Hey,let me get on the bus.”the man shouts.”It’s too ‘d better take the next bus.”a passenger says to him.”But you can’t go withou ‘m the driver.”the man says.没有我你们走不了公共汽车上很拥挤.一位男士想上车,但是没有人给他让路.”喂,让我上车!”那位男士喊道.”车太挤了,你最好坐下一辆”车上的一位乘客对他说.”但是没有我你们走不了.我是司机!”那位男士说道.3:DrunkOne day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, “What’s the meaning of the word ‘Drunk’, dad?”“Well, my son,” his father replied, “look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk.””But, dad,”the boy said, “there’s only ONE policeman!”醉酒一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。
这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。
他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？”“唔，孩子，”父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。
如果我把他们看成了四个，那么我就算醉了。
”“可是，爸爸，”孩子说，”那儿只有一个警察呀！”4:HospitalityThe hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the familyleft the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest’s plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: “You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?”“In the rat-trap, sir,” replied the boy.好客由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时，家里没有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。
这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。
过了一会儿，他拿着一片奶酪回到房间，把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。
客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。
你在哪里找到的奶酪？”“在捕鼠夹上，先生。
”那小男孩说。
5:Dear white, something you got to know .When I was born, I was I grow up, I am blackWhen I’m under the sun, I’m blackWhen I’m cold, I’m blackWhen I’m afraid, I’m black.When I’m sick, I’m I die, I’m stillpeople,When you were born, you were you grow up, you become ‘re red under the ‘re blue when you’re are yellow when you’re ‘re green when you’re ‘re gray when you you, call me “color”?亲爱的白种人，有几件事你必须知道。
当我出生时，我是黑色的我长大了，我是黑色的我在阳光下，我是黑色的我寒冷时，我是黑色的我害怕时，我是黑色的我生病了，我是黑色的当我死了，我仍是黑色的。
你---白种人，当你出生时，你是粉红色的。
你长大了，变成白色的。
你在阳光下，你是红色的。
你寒冷时，你是青色的。
你害怕时，你是黄色的。
你生病时，你是绿色的。
当你死时，你是灰色的。
而你，却叫我「有色人种」？6：Where is the father?Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.”Look,”said the elder brother. “How nice these paintings are!””Yes,” said the younger, “but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?”The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, “Obviously he was painting the pictures.”兄弟俩在看一些漂亮的油画。
“看，”哥哥说，“这些画多漂亮呀！”“是啊，”弟弟说道，“可是在所有这些画中，只有妈妈和孩子。
那爸爸去哪儿了呢？”哥哥想了会儿，然后解释道：“很明显，他当时正在画这些画呗。
”7：How Many Rabbits?Teacher: Now, Jonathan, if I gave you three rabbits and then the next day I gave you five rabbits, how many rabbits would you have? Jonathan:Nine, sir.Teacher: Nine?Jonathan:I’ve got one already, sir.多少只兔子？老师：好，乔纳森，假如我给你三只兔子，第二天我又给你五只，你一共有多少只兔子？乔纳森：一共有九只，先生。
老师：九只？乔纳森：先生，我本来就有一只。
8：These Are My JeansAfter going on a diet，a woman felt really good about herself----especially when she was able to fit into a pair of jeans she had outgrown long ago．“Look，look．” she shouted while running downstairs to show her husband．“I can wear my old jeans again．”Her husband looked at her for a long time，when said，“Honey，I love you，but these are my jeans．”那是我的裤子!一个妇女在减肥一段时间后自我感觉特别好——特别是当她又能穿上很早以前就穿不上的牛仔裤时。
她跑下楼冲她丈夫喊道：“快看，快看。
我又能穿上以前的裤子了。
”她丈夫看了她好一会儿，然后说：“亲爱的，我爱你。
但那是我的裤子。
”9：The mean man’s partyThe notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, “Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot.”“Why use my elbow and foot?””Well, gosh,”was the reply, “You’re not coming empty-hangded, are you?”吝啬鬼请客一个出了名的吝啬鬼终于决定要请一次客了。
他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说：“你上到五楼，找中间那个门，然后用你的胳膊肘按门铃。
门开了之后，再用你的脚把门推开。
”“为什么要用我的肘和脚呢？”“你的双手得拿礼物啊。
天哪，你总不会空着手来吧？”吝啬鬼回答。
10：All I do is pay”My family is just like a nation,” Mr. Brown told his colleague. “My wifeis the minister of finance, my mother-in-law is the minister of war, and my daughter is foreign secretary.””Sounds interesting, “his colleague replied. “And what is your position?””I’m the people. All I do is pay.”我要做的一切就是付钱布朗先生告诉同事说：“我的家简直就象一个国家一样。
