Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school.
Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? Foreign languages have increasingly gained popularity among students these years, given that the world is shrinking and each country now has a more frequent contact with the outside world. Many people[c1]argue that children should begin learning a foreign language at elementary school, instead of waiting until [c2] they enter secondary school. There are several reasons for this.
Firstly, despite the fact that parents do not want to put too much pressure on their children, they also do not want them to lose at the starting line. This means, if the kids start to learn a foreign language early, their parents are relieved from the thought that their kids will have to catch up later on, which is true to some extent.
On the other hand, it is scientifically proved that children tend to learn a language faster before the age of 12. As far as I know, my friends who started to learn English when they were six or seven now have a much more satisfactory English level than those who started at12 or 13. So it is wise to have foreign language course in primary school curriculum.
Additionally, learning a foreign language at an earlier age can lay children a solid foundation for future studying.Rather than just learning a language itself, children learn a lot more about the learning methods. As a result, when they enter secondary school, they can explore more languages and enrich their knowledge by extensive readings.
The only disadvantage of learning a foreign language at primary school might be one more course and pressure. However,primary schools can introduce advanced teaching methods to tackle this problem,such as playing games and role play, and ensure that children can enjoy the language learning process.
In conclusion, the advantages of learning foreign languages at primary school rather than secondary school outweigh the disadvantages.
注释：
[c1]people 和expert是有区别的，注意看题目指的是哪类人[c2]til
Total: (6.5+6.5+7+7.5)/4=7分
Task response 6.5 分
1. address all parts of the task 7分
首先列举的advantages，然后提出disadvantage，紧接着驳斥了这个disadvantage。这一步证明了你都懂题目不仅是要让列举利弊还要做出比较
2. present a clear position throughout theresponse. 7分
主体赞成利大于弊，并在说弊的时候有力的反驳了，最后一段明确提出自己的立场。
3. main ideas may be unclear 6分
需要改进的段落
主体第一段你写的是家长觉得孩子不能输在起跑线，但是题目里面说的是专家提出这个观点，把家长和专家混在一起，混淆了题目观点的出发角度。这里要扣分。
需要保持的段落
主体第二段用你朋友的经历做例子完全可以！只要支持你的论点就行
主体第三段学习一门外语的方法可以应用到其他语言学习上，确实！能看到不同语言的内在联系，很不错！
主体第四段驳斥反方观点并提出一些解决方法
4. conclusions may become repetitive 6分
不要在结论里面把题目照搬一遍
Coherence and cohesion 6.5 分
1. logically organize information and ideas7分
2. present a clear central topic in each paragragh 7分
我个人比较支持一个段一个点这样能保持段落长度一致同时表意清晰
3. may use cohesive devices mechanically 6分
看下你的主体段落的开头，一下firstly 一下on the other hand 一下additionally 这几个连接词属于不同类别建议使用同类连词，如果是firstly 那后面就用secondly thirdly,如果是要用on the other hand, 前面搭配使用on the one hand。否则给读者的印象是你学过连词但是不太会用。
4. 另外代词的使用不错，this, it, they 都能正确使用
Lexical resources 7分
