评:在最后一句“回眸一笑百媚生,六宫粉黛无颜色”中,译者将“百媚”翻 译为“ full of grace ” ,在此处应取“ eleganee and beauty of movement expression , a beautiful figure which she used in subtle movements
unparalleled grace ”这一义,我认为此处强调的是“媚”这个字,这种美是无 人能比的,以至于六宫粉黛无颜色,所以在翻译之时,可以把这种媚翻译成魅 力,而且是“百媚”,此处“百”又不是真的“ hundred ”,而是一种“ end beauty, end of charm ”。
评:最后一句“六宫”翻译成six places 非常生硬,感觉没有体现中国古典文 化中六宫的含义。同时fairest face 也太过于字面化,没有什么美感。回眸直 接翻译为turning her head 也是过于直接,体现不出古典诗歌所要表达的美。
or of
of
评:第二句杨家有女初长成中,
womanhood just grow ,womanhood 略感多余,前面已经用
了 maiden ,意透露性别信息,无需再次强调女性身份,第三句中天生丽质难自弃,用 en dowed with n atural beauty, en dow 之嫌,一朝选在君王侧翻作
selected for the mon arch'
妃,回眸一笑百媚生,六宫粉黛无颜色有承接关系,觉得, 已有天生具有的意思,再用
natural 强调原生有语义赘余
s side,太过直译,可以意译为入宫为
that 放入前半句更好,
that she
turns her head, with a sweet and grace smile 。
评:诗歌标题“长恨歌”并非表达一种真正的恨意和痛苦, 的遗憾和悔恨。“ regret ”正好有“悔恨,遗憾”之意,“ 而是指唐明皇和杨贵妃无法长相厮守 everlasting ”正好表达岀了长久的意
味。许渊冲的翻译避免了直接翻译的直白, 又恰到好处地将两人无法长相厮守的遗憾表达得淋漓
尽致,十分贴切。
《长恨歌》翻译评析
长恨歌 许渊冲译 The Everlast ing Regret 汉皇重色思倾国,御宇多年求不得。
The beauty-lovi ng mon arch Ion ged year after year To find a beautiful lady without peer.
杨家有女初长成,养在深闺人未识。
A maide n of the Yan gs* to woma nhood just grow n.
In inner chambers bred, to the world was unknown. 天生丽质难自弃,一朝选在君王侧。 En dowed with n atural beauty too hard to hide, One day she stood selected for the mon arch
' s side.
回眸一笑百媚生,六宫粉黛无颜色。
Turning her head, she smiled so sweet and full of grace That she outsh one in six palaces the fairest face.
春寒赐浴华清池,温泉水滑洗凝脂。
She bathed in glassy water of warm-fountain pool,
Which laved and smoothed her creamy skin whe n spri ng was cool. (许)
One cold spri ng day she was ordered
To bathe in the Huaq ing Palace baths.
The warm water slipped dow n
Her gliste ning jade-like body. (杨)
评:在这句的翻译中,先看杨宪益翻译的版本,他用了order 一词,觉得不妥,没有把获宠赏赐
的幸福感觉翻译岀来。许渊冲把华清池译成glassy water of warm-fou ntain pool ,我觉得这样翻
得更好,直接把华清池的特点说了岀来,更让人明白诗的本意。
云鬓花颜金步摇,芙蓉帐暖度春宵。
Flowerlike face and cloudlike hair, golde n-headdressed,
In lotus-flower curta in she spe nt the ni ght blessed. (许)
Her hair like a cloud,
Her face like a flower, (杨)
评:两者的译本都注重了形美,句式工整,但许的版本还采取了压韵的手法blessed,压尾韵。
春宵苦短日高起,从此君王不早朝。
She slept till sun rose high, for the blessed night was short,
From the n on the mon arch held no lon ger morning court. (许)
They took their pleasure in the spr ing ni ght.
Regretting only the spring nights were too short;
Rising only whe n the sun was high;
He stopped atte nding court sessi ons
In the early morni ng. (杨)
评:两者的翻译均都到位,杨的版本把诗的意思更直白清晰地表达了岀来,
精简。本人更喜欢杨的版本,杨的译本体现了更多皇帝与杨贵妃的互动情趣, 人美好的爱情。
headdressed 禾口
而许的版本更为委婉
更明显地表现出两