【英语趣闻】美国人最喜欢的幽默段子

最受读者欢迎的英语笑话大全Coins in American Currency 美国的硬币There are 100 cents in a dollar. Coins come in the following denominations:$.01 or 1 cent (a penny,a cent, one cent), $.05 or 5 cents (a nickel, five cents),$.1 or10 cents (a dime, ten cents), $.25 or 25 cents(a quarter, two bits, twenty-five cents), and $.50 or50 cents (a fifty-cent piece).Coins are called "change", "small change", or"silver" though they aren’t made of silver anymore.Coins are generally recognized by their size, butsomebody "goofed" on the dime, which is smaller than either a nickel or a penny. All the others are in size order.One more word for you: don’t hold out your hand with either bills or coins and expect someone to take the correct change from you. That cannot be done in any Western country.一美元中有一百美分。

【老外最精彩一句话笑话(附中文整理版)】1、I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stolea bike and asked for forgiveness.开始我直接求帝哥赐辆自行车。

后来我琢磨帝哥办事儿不是这个路数。

于是老子偷了一辆然后求帝哥宽恕。

2、I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.我希望能像爷爷那样，安静地在睡梦中死去…… 而不是要像他开的车上那些惨叫滴乘客一样死法啊！3、Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.你永远不能战胜一个纯傻逼,因为他会把你的智商拉到跟他个水平,然后用丰富的经验打败你4、The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list. 吾虽不杀伯仁，伯仁由我而死。

/我真不想伤害你，但你也别逼我。

/在这个世界上,我最不愿意做的事就是伤害你,但是这件事仍在我的考虑之列.5、If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong...如觉嘿咻乃屁眼不能承受之痛，那是你操错洞... /若XXOO。

是下体的痛。

那么。

是你操错。

6、The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. 早起滴小鸟有虫虫！！！！！！晚到的老鼠有奶酪！！！！！ /早起的鸟儿有虫吃，早起的虫儿被鸟吃。

经典英语幽默笑话集锦笑话几乎涵盖人们生活的所有领域,其中包括政治笑话、经济笑话、家庭生活笑话、关于民族性格的笑话等。

下面是店铺带来的英语幽默笑话集锦，欢迎阅读!英语幽默笑话集锦精选(一)猪还是女巫 Pig or WitchA man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road.一个男人在一条陡峭狭窄的山路上驾车，一个女人相向驾车而来。

As they pass each other, the woman leans out of the window and yells "PIG!!"他们相遇时，那个女的从窗中伸出头来叫到：“猪!!”The man immediately leans out of his window and replies, "WITCH(女巫)!!"那个男的立即从窗中伸出头来回敬道：“女巫!!”They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds the next corner, he crashes into a pigin the middle of the road.他们继续前行。

这个男的在下一个路口转弯时，撞上了路中间的一头猪。

If only men would listen.要是这个男的能听懂那个女人的意思就好了。

(二)The World's Greatest Swordsman世界上最伟大的击剑手At an exhibition of the world's best swordsman, the third-place fencer took the stage. A fly was released, and with an arc of his sword he cut the fly in half. The crowd cheered. Then the second-place man sliced a fly into quarters. A hush fell inanticipation of the world's greatest swordsman.在一场世界最佳击剑手表演中，排名第三的击剑手上场了。

英语笑话经典段子笑话是一种简短的艺术语言，它能调剂我们的心情，今天我们就一起来看看英语笑话经典段子吧!英语笑话经典段子(一)一个小男孩非常想要一百美元买一辆自行车，但是祈祷了两个星期也没有结果。

于是，他决定给上帝写一封信要这一百美元。

当邮局收到这封收信人为“美国，上帝”的信后，他们决定把它寄给美国总统。

总统很重视，也很感动。

他命令他的秘书寄给个小男孩五美元纸钞。

总统认为这对于一个小男孩来说应该是一笔大钱了。

这个小男孩收到这五美元后非常高兴，又坐下来给上帝写了一封感谢信，信中写道:A little boy wanted one hundred dollar for a bicycle very badly and prayed for two weeks but nothing happened. Then he decided to write a letter to the Lord requesting the money. When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to the Lord, USA，they decided to send it to the president. The President was so impressed，touched and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a five bill. The President thought this would appear to be a lot of money to alittle boy. The little boy was delighted wish the five-dollar bill and sat down to write a thank-you note to the Lord, which read:亲爱的上帝:Dear Lord，非常感谢你寄给我的钱。

英语幽默笑话（优秀10篇）英国人有他们独特的英式幽默，他们流传的英语冷笑话让人会心一笑，今天，小编给同学们收集、整理了几则特别有趣的英语冷笑话，希望大家能开心开心，一起来看看吧! 篇一一、The little girl did not like the look of the barking dog.It#39;s all right, said a gentleman, don#39;t be afraid. Don#39;t you know the proverb: Barking dogs don#39;t bite?Ah, yes, answered the little girl. I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?一个小女孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。

“没有关系，”一位先生说，“不用害怕，你知道这条谚语吗：吠狗不咬人。

;”“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道吗？”二、One student to another: How are your English lessons coming along?Fine. I used to be one who couldn#39;t understand the English men, and now it#39;s the English men who can#39;t understand me.一位学生对另一位说：“你的英语最近学的怎么样？”“很好，我过去不懂英国人说话，可现在是英国人不懂我的话了。

”三、An old lady who was very deaf and who thought everything too dear, went into a shop and asked the shopman:#39; How much this stuff?#39;#39;Seven dollars, Madam, it is very cheap.#39;The lady said, #39;It is too much, give it to me for fourteen.#39;#39;I did not say seventeen dollars, but seven.#39;#39;It is still too much,#39; replie()d the old lady, #39;give it to me for five.#39;一位耳聋并且总是嫌东西太贵的老太太走进一家商店。

英语搞笑笑话6篇幽默寓于笑话之中，它是笑话的精料，智慧之所在。

笑话是幽默的载体，一个成功的笑话能流传千古。

下面是店铺整理的英语搞笑笑话，欢迎大家阅读!英语搞笑笑话一：How can I get into heaven 我怎么才能上天堂"If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the poor, would I get into heaven?" I asked the children in my Sunday school class."No!" the children all answered."If I cleaned the church everyday, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would I get into heaven?"Again, the answer was, "No!""Well, " I continued, "then how can I get into heaven?"A five-year-old boy shouted out, "You gotta be dead!"“如果我把房子和车卖了，在车库举行义卖, 并把所有的钱给穷人，我能进天堂吗?”我问主日学校的孩子。

孩子们齐声回答：“不能!”“那如果我每天都打扫教堂，给院子的草坪割草，并且把东西都收拾得干净整洁，我会上天堂吗?”回答还是：“不能!”“好吧，”我继续问, “那我要怎样才能升天堂呢?”一个五岁的男孩儿叫道：“你得死了才行!”英语搞笑笑话二：I Want Her to go NutsMrs. Flinders decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, "Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets and a ruby pendant.""But you're not wearing any of those things.""I know," said Mrs. Flinders." It's in case I should die beforemy husband. I'm sure he'd remarry right away, and I want her to go nuts looking for the jewelry."福林德斯夫人决定让人给她画肖像。

英语搞笑笑话10篇_幽默笑话带翻译阅读多阅读一些有趣的英语笑话，能激起我们阅读英语的兴趣，从而提高英语的阅读能力，今天店铺在这里为大家分享英语搞笑笑话10篇，欢迎大家阅读!英语搞笑笑话篇一An Absent Minded ProfessorA notoriously absentminded professor was one day observed walking along the street with one foot continually in the gutter，the other on the pavement. A pupil meeting him said：“Good evening，professor.How are you? “Well，” answered the professor，“I thought I was all right when I left home，but now I don't know what's the matter with me.I've been limping for the last half hour.”有一天，人们看见一个有名的心不在焉的老师在路上走，他的一只脚一直踏在街沟里，另一只脚踩在人行道上。

一个碰见他的学生说：“晚安，老师。

您怎么了?” “啊，”这位老师回答说：“我想我离开家的时候还挺好的，可是现在我不知道出了什么毛病。

我已经一瘸一拐走了半个小时了。

”英语搞笑笑话篇二It's His FaultBilly and Bobby were small boys.They were brothers，and they often had fights with each other. Last Saturday their mother said to them，“I'm going to cook our lunch now.Go out and play in the garden—and be goo d.” “Yes，Mummy，” the two boys answered，and they went out. They played in the garden for half an hour，and then Billy ran into the kitchen.“Mummy，” he said，“Bobby's broken a window in Mrs.Allen's house.” Mrs.Allen was one of their neighbors. “He's a bad boy，”his mother said.“How did he break it?” “I threw a stone at him，” Billy answered，“and he quickly moved down.”比利和波比都是小男孩。

英语笑话让你乐翻天收集了让你乐翻天，希望你能喜欢，更多笑话请关注冷笑话、爆笑笑话，，栏目!1、I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.2、I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.3、Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.4、The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.5、If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong...6、The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.7、We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.8、Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't havea good partner, you'd better have a good hand.9、Some people are like Slinkies ... not really goodfor anything, but you can't help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.10、Politicians and diapers have one thing in mon. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.11、War does not determine who is right - only who is left.12、Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.13、We never really grow up, we only learn how to actin public.14、Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.15、Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.16、My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.17、I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.18、If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.19、Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes"is the answer.20、Evening news is where they begin with 'Goodevening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.21、How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?22、If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it?23、Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.24、If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.25、Never, under any circumstances, take a sleepingpill and a laxative on the same night.26、I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chainto be a vegetarian27、A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..28、If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.29、Did you know that dolphins are so smart that withina few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?30、A puter once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.31、I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it...so I said "Implants?"32、Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.33、Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?34、Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.35、A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.。