Modern Family ——《摩登家庭》_图文.ppt

Modern FamilySeason 4, Drama 6Manny: Jay, should I get rid of this?Jay:the hat, the jacket, or the cane? actually, yes. just yes.Manny: we're having a yard sale for our social studies class to raise money for UNICEF.The piont is for us to learn about global altruism.Luke: No, the point is for us to raise more money than Miss Cooper's class. so we get a pizza and a pool party.Manny: Your cynicism makes me sad for our world.Luke: Ease up, Delgado. I've seen you with a pizza.Jay: I hate garage sales. Bunch of shady characters going through my stuff. why can't I just write a check?Gloria: Relax, jay. It's just a couple of people in the driveway.Jay: Yeah, yeah, yeah. that's where it starts. Then it's, it's just a local call. “call I use your bathroom?”” my mother needs to lie down.” No, it just stinks.Manny: He did write a check..Gloria: Chi... The less he knows, the better.Luke talking to Haily by Skype on the screen: You're not even here anymore.Haily: But it's my stuff. Where's mom? Luke, take me to mom and move slow. I'm still drunk....ing my coffee. Mom!Claire: what's the problem?Haily: Tell luke not to sell my stuff?Claire: Honey, come on, Give it up. Even John Mayer doesn't have a John Mayer poster anymore.Haily: It's signed by him.Claier: It's time you knew---they come that way.Haley: but it's "To Haley"Claier: In a different color. Your dad wrote that.Haley: Ew! He wrote "my body is a wonderland"Claier: I didn't catch that till after.Alex: Mom, is it okay if Michael comes to the yard sale?Claier: Well, honey, didn't you see him last night?Alex: So? Why don't you like my boyfriend?Claier: I do like him.Claier self express:I'm just 90% sure he's 100% gay.Alex: Yes, when Michael took me to prom, I questioned his sexuality. but then... we made out...a couple times. There was even a little...under..the..shirt action.his chest is very smooth.Phil: heads up! Coming through.Claier: Wow, I am glad you're finally getting rid of that thing.Phil: What? I'm not selling this bad boy. I was gonna meet you at your dad's and get a little exercise on the way. what's… what's your beef with my streets rider?Alex: Even I think it's nerdy, and I'm fluent in elvish.Phil: It's not nerdy. Luke, back me up.Luke: I hope you mean into the garage because I have friends on this street.Claier: Honey, you finally found somehting less cool than those pants that zip off into shorts.Phil: My shants, which you have been gunning for since day one, does it matter to any of you? That this is actually an extremely efficient cardiovascular workout that could prolong my life.Claier: Mm, yeah, but what kind of life? and with whom?...Manny: Remember, everyone, this is for charity. Every dollar we earn helps a diseased child, a starving child, an abused child. Now have fun!Cam: Speaking of starving children, here's my contribution. Six pair of jeans that don't fit me anymore because I've lost 25 pounds. That's like...one, two, three children's bowling balls.Mm, brave! Very nice.Mitch: hey, cam! are...are you really getting rid of all these? I mean, they're almost new. It's...well, what if you (gain back weight again), um...Cam: what if I what, Mitchell? Put the weight back on?Mitch: No! no.no, what if you...you think of some creative art project that requires denim? you know, somehting farm or Kelly Clarkson-themed?Cam: or...I've already done so much with that motif.Mitch: yeah, yeah!Cam: No, no…you know what? No, sell'em! I wanna purge. which, for the record, is not how I lost this weight.Mitch to Claier: Oh, every time. Every time he loses weight, he gets rid of his big pants. And then when he puts the weight back on, he has to buy them all new again. It's…it's a nightmare.Jay: Just put the jeans in the car while he's in the house.Mitch: No, dad! that's incredibly dis...I'm gonna do that, yeah.Luke: Where you think you're going with those?Mitch: Oh, these aren't for sale.Luke: Hey, this is for charity. You know you're taking those jeans out of the hands of some needy, giant children.Mitch: You know they're not getting the actual jeans, right, Luke?Luke: Oh, right. well, then how about a donation?Mitch: 20 bucks?Luke: 100Mitch: 20?Luke: sure. what's it to you if some kid gets sick bathing in poo river, Africa?a people to Jay: How much for the ash tray?Jay: I don't know. What's the tag say?the people: 50cents. but there's chip in it.Jay, well, that's why it's lying on a blanket on my lawn next to some old corn cob handles.the people: I'll give you 35.Jay: you're wearing a 10'000 dolla watch. you're haggling over 15 cents?the people: You live in this place, and you can't let that 15 cents go?Jay: fine, 35.the people: can you break a 50?Jay: Get out.Gloria: manny! what is this case doing here?Manny: I found it in the attic. why? what is it?Gloria: Nothing that concerns you. it's from Colombia.Manny: But I thought you said...Gloria: You…thought…nothing!!! It's going back in the attic, and I want no more questions. Manny: why?Gloria: That's a question.Luke: That was weird. too weird.Manny: I wonder what's in there.Luke: Wake up, Delgado. locked box, from colombia." No more questions? "It's obviously a human head.Manny: Why is that always your first guess?Luke: one of these days, I'm gonna be right.Jay: no way!Phil: You're selling the Harley?Jay: I'm just trying to move it out of the way. Some asshat offered me 100 bucks for it. But with the baby coming, I guess I am gonna sell it.Phil: Oh, She's a beaut.Jay: What, you wouldn't be interested in it, would you?Phil: Why wouldn't I be?Jay: well, I just never though of you a motorcyle kinda guy.Phil: I would be if Claire would ever let me have one.Claire: You can have a motercycle if you want.Phil: ha.hahaha... Can I also have an affair with my super hot receptionist?Claier: What super hot receptionist?Phil: don't change the subject! Now, what would everybody like for lunch?Claier: you don't have to buy a motorcycle if you don't want one, but don't blame it on me. I'm fine with it.Phil: Seriously?Claier: Yeah, yeah. look, I know it's not the safest thing in the world. but it is sexy. Gloria: Yes, a lot more sexy than crazy machine you rode up on. is that somehing that your doctor make you use?Jay: Allright, I'm gonna take this around back, unless you'd like to go for a test-drive. Phil: Sure. Let's go. Not too fast, precious cargo.Jay: I'm not taking you, sweetheart.Phil: I'm driving? awesome!!!Phil self express: I'm terrified of motercycles, but somethigs you have to do things to show the world you're still a man. same reason I got that henna tattoo. japanese symbol for"courage"Cam: yeah!!Alex: oh, Micheal's here! hi, Michael!Cam: Well, well, well. what is this all about? is there a a new man in Alex's life?Claier: Well, she certainly thinks so. is there any way that boy is straight?Mitch: Ooh, what's going on? Who are we looking at?Claire: Uh, it's Alex's new "boyfriend " Michael.Mitch: What's up with the air quote?Cam: She thinks he's gay.Clairer: I think he's gay the same way I think that lamp is hideous (she refers to a lamp on Mitch's hands).Cam: Ok, rough it, made it art class.Claier: Look, I like Michael. I really do.i just...I don't her to get her heart broken when it comes to boys. Her self-esteem is low enough as it is.Cam: I don't know. Alex seems pretty darn tough.Claier: Oh, she's just sarcastic on the outside. inside, she's just a fragile little girl.Mitch: By all means, look right at me when you say that.Claire: If she want to get her heart broken by a gay guy, she can do so when she's 18 or 19 and can drink her way through it.Mitch: Aw. You're a "goodmother"Cam: I don't know, Claire, you could be wrong. Boys aren't as concerned about traditional masculinity anymore. you know, they're not butching it up. the're pushing down their feelings.Mitch: Yes, they care about their clothes.Cam: mm..hmm.Mitch: they...they...they groom.Cam: mm..hmm.Mitch: everbody's hairless. yeah, you can't tell anything anymore.Claier: really?Alex introducing Michael: Hay...Uncle Mitch, uncle Cam, this is Michael.Cam and Mitch: hi!.. hello.Alex: ok, come on.Cam: Yep, he's gay...We sand corrected.Claier: yeah!?07:37/21:38Phil riding: Okay.Jay: Now , be careful. I don't want you to crash.Phil: oh, ohJay: I don't want the bike all scratched up.Phil: ohClaire: And don't be nervous. people make mistakes when they're nervous.Phil: I'm not nervous. haha..haha..I've had bigger hogs than this between legs.Jay: He really oughta run things through his head first.Claire:Yeah.Phil self express: I know I looked super cool on the outside, but on the inside, I was terrified. And then I remembered that Fonzie once put together a whole motorcycle while blind.and I thought. That was a great show, and I got really distracted and...and I forgot I was scared. so I headed up the canyon and I left the city behind. I'd never felt so exhilarated. I don't know exactly when it happened, but somewhere on that lonely road...the bike and I became one. ohh… oh, no,no. oh, you're heavy! No!...ohh!Luke and Manny, Luke: lock the door. okay, let's do this.Manny: No matter what we find in here, I will always love my mother.Luke: Even if it's head?Manny: It's not a head.....oh, my god! It's a head!Luke: Ah! Finally!Cam: Mitchell! I was just in the car, and I found my fat pant in there. Do you know anything about that?Mitch: what? No! Did you forget to put'em out?Cam: No. Remember?! I posed, people clapped I had my moment.Mitch: I do remember that...That...oh, that was a great moment. I am so pround of you. Cam: What's going on? You're being weird.Mitch: What? First, I'm a pants thief.and...and now I can't pay you a compliment? you know who's being weird? You. Here comes Claire! Hey, girl!Claire: I don't know what that was. Okay, I just saw Alex and Michael sittin' in a tree. Don't make me spell this out for you.Mitch:Well, what can you do?Claire: I can't do anything, but you two could talk to her.Mitch: And tell her what?Claire: Michael's playing for the pink team.Cam: Okay, we got to say that. You don't really.Claire:I know, bacuse you have credibility. And I have the opposite of credibility. I have ....ha....I am a mother.Mitch: Okey, we're not doing this.Cam: no..well, now hold on, just a minute.you know, when I was...young and straight, I left a trail of broken hearts like a rock star. I'm not proud of it.Mitch: Ah, you're kinda pround of it. you work it into a lot of conversations. He brought it up yesterday.Cam: Okay, how am I supposed to walk into a dry cleaner and not mention my girlfriend Wendy Jo Martinizer?Claire: Can we get back to my problem?Mitch: You don't have a problem, okay! They're kids, they're gonna work it out.Claire: Can you talk to her?Cam: No!!! Not when she's like this....oh, you mean Alex.Cam: (Seeing Claire nods) Yeah, I'll do it.Claire: Thank you.Phil: Claire, kids, If you're seeing this, then they found my body. or I finally got a signal and I sent it to you in an e-mail. In that case, I'll just call, but...but sometimes you can actually get a pretty decent data signal and no voice. I know I'm not making any sense. I've been trapped out here now for.... 27 minutes. I'm such an idiot…Why did I bring this stupid motorcycle out here? To prove I'm a man? I am a man.Gloria: Many, what's this doing here?Luke: If you don't mind, we'll be asking the question now.Gloria: I do mind.Luke: I apologize.Manny: We couldn't help ourselves, but I've gotta know. Why were you hiding this??? Michael: Love this! sold!Many: What's the story here?Gloria:I don't want to talk about it!Cam: Aw, cute,Mitch: oh, where'd that come from?Manny: I't my mom's. She's being very cagey.Luke: We think something's stashed in the head. it's from Colombia.Manny: Mom, what's the big deal?Gloria: Okay, fine. When I was young, I was in a beauty pageant. all the other girls, for their talent, were juggling knives, as they always do. but I wanted to stand out, so I came up with...Uncle Grumpy.Cam. Okay. Never been so happy. Not leaving till I see it. Hit it, Gloria.a Passingbyer: Excuse me, how much is this vase?Claire: It's your, take it. (to Gloria)so what do you need here? A stool? Glass of water? How do we make this happen? Let's go. I need to see this.Gloria: You see noting!!! That pageant was one of the worst nights of my life, after weeks of rehearsing, I froze, and we were speechless.Cam: Aw, and you lost.Gloria: No. I won. Imagine this, when I was 18. but it was very humiliating. I don't want to do it ever again.Michael: And yet, you kept him all these years. maybe there's a part of you that wants to work through this, get some closure.Gloria: You're wrong, whoever you are.Phil: It's going on 31 minutes. I feel so along. ai...ai...ai...I gotta get my leg free....Why didn't I wear my shants!?Alex: Hey, guys, Check it out.you like my new bracelet?Cam: Ooh, cut.Alex: It's an old curtain ring Michael saw over there. he braided three leather shoelaces around it and Voila.Cam: You know, Alex, you and Michael remind me so much of me and my first girfriend Annabelle Pickett.Alex: Huh? You had a girfriend?Cam: Yeah, Cutest girl in Sunday school, too. so one year, I asked her to go the church bazaar lip sync contest with me, and we did our version of "Endless love"...which was ironic because two weeks later, I fell head over heels for a young square-jawed rodeo ticket taker named Woody Ray.Claire:oh,no.Cam: of course, she was devastated, just destroyed her. and then she spray-painted something unrepeatable on my daddy's barn and never spoke to me again.Claire: Wow, and all because she wanted you to be something…you just weren't... Cam: Mm hmm.Claire: Yeah.Alex: Ugh. Stop. I get it. Iknow what you think about Michael, mom. You didn't have to bring in your big gay guns to back you up.No offense (Turning back to cam).Mitch: None taken.Cam. I kinda like it.Claire: Okay. Honey, I am worried about you. I don't want you to get hurt.Mitch: I told them that this was a bad idea, allright? you know, maybe Michael's gay. Maybe he's not. He is. Your mother just wants you to have all the information so that... that you can go slow.Alex: Uncle Mitchell, he's straight. we kissed.Mitch: Oh, honey, i...I kissed a lot of girs when I wanted to be straight. and your uncle cam kissed some, too, he says. but that's neither here nor there. what's important is that you make your own....where... wait, where are you going?Alex: It's not the olden days anymore, you guys.I can just ask him.Mitch: Hope you're happy...Cam: I'm not...that "olden days" comment was like a punch to the gut. she may as well have spary-painted it on my daddy's barn.Mitch: Yeah, I'm done with this.Cam: Where's he going?A man holding bread baker: Hey, you got any bread? I wanna make sure this thing till works.Jay: Yeah, that's not gonna happen.The man: oh, it doens't have to be bread. I mean, I can get the information I need from, like, a bagel or a frozen waffle.Gay: look, kid, you're just gonna have to roll the dice on this one.The man: I don't know. what's your return policy?Jay: you return, I call the police. where'd you get that?the man: From the kitchen.Gay: Give me that!The man: You selling the pot-bellied pig?Gay: Get out of my driveway.Jay to dog: you're not a pig. you're daddy's little gir.Alex entering the Kitch see Michael: There you are.Michael: Hey. sorry. I got lost in this "Elle decor" Justin Timberlake is designing his own home line, and I'm trying to reserve judgment.Alex: Michael I have to ask you something. I want you to know it's okay either way. but... are you gay?Micheal: What? No! I'm not! I...I took you to prom. I kissed you unless you're boy, I'm pretty sure I'm straight. Are...are you a boy?Alex: No.Micheal: Right, so I am straight!Alex: I didn't mean to make you mad.Micheal: I'm not mad. I'm just... angry.Alex: I'm sorry.and those are synonyms.Micheal: You just know everyting today. can you just give me a minute?Jay came in the Kitch.. to Micheal: Hey, Can I help you?Micheal: Yeah, Why does everybody think I'm gay?Jay: God, I hate yard sales.Gloria to a buyer: Thank you.Luke came to her: Sorry for snooping around and finding your old man doll.Gloria: In Colombia, if you snoop around the wrong box, you might end up inside that box. Luke: I shouldn't have done it. Now I feel bad for Manny.Gloria: What do you mean?Luke: well, I don't know. he's always talking about how brave you are, how you're afraid of anything, now... he just seems a little sad.Gloria: How sad?Luke: Don't worry. it's a good thing. he needs little dose of reality. you walk around school, telling everyone how great your mommy is all the time, you find yourself on the business end of wedgie.Luke self express: I know how to push buttons to get what I want. and what I want is to see a puppet show.Cam to Mitch: J'accuse!Mitch: I'm sorry. one more time?Cam: It's just a dramatic way of accusing you...of stashing my fat pants in a bush! Saboteur!Mitch: that's a second way.Cam: How...could.. you?Mitch: And a third.Cam. Why, Mitchell? why?Mitch: Cam...oh, come on. all right, the....this is a little hard to say, but…every time you get rid of these pants, you have to buy them all over agian, and you get depressed, all right? this is just a way to have a safety net.Cam: I can't have a safety net, Mitchell. otherwise, I won't be sucessful and keep the weight off. have you ever thought of that?Mitch: No, no, I didn'tCam: You know, you're not the only one who remembers all the times I failed.Mitch: You are right. I...I should support you more. I'm...I'm sorry.Cam: I'm happy to hear you say that.Mitch: Well, I'm happy you're happy.Alex: Well, I hope you both are happy. Michael's not gay. Now he hates me. Thanks a lot. Mitch to Cam: You see? Thsi is exactly why i didn't want to get involved.Cam: Now I feel terrible. these feelings would go good with pie.Claire seey Phil back: There he is! sweetheart, do you love it?Phil: No, Claire, I do not love it.Claire: Oh, that's too bad' cause you look so cool on that.Phil: Do I, Claire? Do i really?Claire saw phil's pant cut off: What happend?Phil: it's a long story. check your in-box. but suffice it to say, I'm not buying that motorcycle. Claire: Uh..huh..Phil: I know what i am, claire. I'm not a rider, I'm a strider. I hope that's sexy enough for you. Claire: Well, I can see stuff.Phil: Yeah, I know. I can feel air on it. It's not like I have another pair of pants.Mitch: Oh, uh, today is your lucky day. it's for a good cause.Cam: You might need a belt.Phil: oh, I doubt it. I bet we wear the same size.Cam: Don't do that.Phil: Copy.Mitch: Well, we ruined Alex's life, by the way.Claire: I don't know. She look okay.Cam: en..looks like they made up.Claire: If she would just listen to me, I could hep her avoid so much pain.Mitch: Give it a rest. She's 14, all right? No matter who that boy is, he's not gonna last. Claire: Mm, you are right.Cam: Well, at least with a gay kid, you know she's gonna get a great flower arrangment. should've seen the one I made Annabelle. arranged it myself. it was gorgeous...till she pulled it apart and spelled "Homo" on my porch.Claire: This doens't make me feel any better.Gloria: Gather around everbody. I want you to meet somebody.Claire: Oh, but that might(seeing Gloria's puppet).Cam: Uncle Grumpy.Gloria's self express: Luke's wise words got to me. I needed my son to respect me agian. more than that, I needed to respect myself.Grumpy: Holy maracas! I think I sat on the right lap!Gloria: Uncle Grumpy, we're in public.Grumpy: Ay, look at all those white faces! I see we made it over the wall.Gloria: Uncle Grumpy, are you in a bad mood?Grumpy: Damn righ I am! I just came from the movies. A whole day's pay to see "Basicinstinct".Gloria: oh. And what did you think?Grumpy: Basically, it stinked.Gloria: You're so grumpy.Grumpy: Damn righ I am!I just met the girl of my dreams.Gloria: Ay, that's such great news.Grumpy: No. She gave me the termites.Jay: Gloria, I'm just gonna...oh, jeez. I don't even wanna know what this is. I'm out of here. Gloria: You're leaving?Jay: Damn righ. the only difference between this and a home invasion is I get to shoot people at a home invasion.Claire: oh, my god. She married her puppet.Cam: Uncle Grumpy!Phil’s self express: can anyone hear me? please help me! I don't wanna die! If I had to make a playlist for being trapped under a motorcycle, it'd be, um..."stuck in the middle","hit the road jack",um, anything by heavy D. Ooh, pointer sister. "Neutron dance". Turns out “today wasn't the first day of the rest of my life”. oh, my goodness. there's some DVDs in a shoe box in, uh, my closet that I was holding for...a buddy.um, you can go ahead and just throw the whole box away.....I'm so hungry. I don't know how long I'm gonna be out here.I gotta ration my food....I said no tomatoes (angry and throwing away food, sandwich)!。

【导读】：现代科技使追踪变得更加廉价、便利。

Modern families摩登家庭Chips off the old block机器人也能像监护人一样照顾孩子Tracking children has never been easier.Nice for parents, not for privacy 对子女进行定位已经容易多了，这对父母来说是好事，但在隐私保护上却并非如此Jan 12th 2013 | fromthe print editionPAUL WALLICH usually walks his small son to the bus stop a stone’s throw f rom their Vermont home. But he can use a robot too: a football-sized drone, hov ering several metres off the ground, follows a beacon stashed in the little bo y’s school bag.A smartphone strapped to the device beams back video.家住美国佛蒙特州的保罗·沃利克经常要把小儿子送到附近的汽车站去。

但他也可以选择使用机器人：在小男孩的书包里放入一个信标台，足球大小的无人飞机会盘旋在距地面几米高的地方，一直跟着信号。

无人飞机上绑有一个智能手机，会将视频发射回去。

Few parents areas handy as that, but even Luddites like the idea of keeping an electronic eye on the young. An early offering, in 2003, was Wherify, a tracking device which locks to a child’s wrist. Devices invented since then prote ct autistic children, who easily get lost, or into danger.Youngsters on Canadia n farms wear radio tags on bracelets to signal their proximity to adults operat ing heavy machinery.在便利性上，很少有家长能做到与这样的机器人相提并论，但即使是卢德派①也对使用电子仪器追踪孩子持支持态度。

杰我回来了 Jay, I'm home.曼尼打电话回来了吗 Did Manny call?没因为他啥事也没有 No, because he's fine.他是去睡衣派对又不是黑帮火拼 It was a slumber party, not a gang fight.我只是想他融入集体 I just want him to fit in.我要去冲个澡你要一起来吗 I'm gonna take a shower. Do you care to join me?宝贝车库的小提箱里有一杆枪 You know, honey, there's a gun in the footlocker in the garage.要是我哪天脑袋发昏拒绝和你共浴 If I ever say no to that question,你直接一枪打死我吧 I want you to use it on me.玛丽·马克小姐马克马克 Miss Mary Mack, Mack, Mack.-穿成黑色黑色黑色 -嘘别出声 - All dressed in black, black, black. - Shh, shh. -怎么了 -银色扣子扣子扣子 - What's wrong? - With silver buttons, buttons, buttons.在她背上背上背上 All down her back, back, back.他们怎么不打架了 Why aren't they trying to hurt each other?我也不知道我震惊得都不敢动 I don't know, but I'm afraid to move.-你玩得真好 -谢谢 - You're really good at this. - Thanks.克莱尔这是怎么一回事啊 What is happening, Claire?味道如何 What do you think?绝对正宗的松饼啊 Now, that is a scone.零黄油无脂肪 No butter. Nonfat.得瑟 Shut up.我去看看莉莉 I'm gonna go check on Lily.-惊喜哦 -妈 - Surprise! - Mom!怎么回事 What's that?听起来像是有鸟撞上玻璃了 Sounds like a bird hit the window.天呐这是个凶兆 Oh, God. That's a bad sign.很痛啊混蛋 Ow! That hurt, jerk!我要杀了你你个白痴 Ow! I'm gonna kill you, stupid!剧情峰回路转吗 What happened?现在我郁闷了 Now I'm sad.-你好宝贝 -你好我... - Hi, honey. Mmm! - Hi. I, uh-我不知道你要来你之前没给我打电话啊 I- I didn't know you were in town. You didn't call.我等不及要见我的小孙女了她在哪儿 Well, I couldn't wait to see your new baby. Where is she?-米奇尔是谁啊 -是我妈 - Mitchell, who was that? - It's my mom.你就使劲儿忽悠吧 Oh, yeah, right,上回她来的时候 'cause the last time she was here,冰箱门上的磁铁被摆成了五边... the refrigerator magnets rearranged themselves into a penta...真是奶奶啊 Grandma!摩登家庭第一季第四集妈你拽着她的脚干嘛呢 Mom. Mom, what are you doing to her legs?打太极我在塞多纳时每天都打 Tai chi. I did it every day in Sedona.卡梅隆你也该试试 Cameron, you should try it.米奇尔的妈妈对我... Mitchell's mother has a problem...有成见 with me.比如去年圣诞节 Last Christmas, for example,她送了我一台健身器材和生菜烘干机 she gave me a piece of exercise equipment and a lettuce dryer.问题的重点是 So, to recap,我送给她的是一副华丽的钻石耳环 I gave her a gorgeous pair of diamond earrings, 她送的礼物却暗示我很肥 and she gave me a hint.住在塞多纳让我改变了许多 And living in Sedona has been transformational.我每天早上起床后去参加冥想集会 I get up every morning, and I go to a Vortex meditation site...在高僧的指导下 and work with a shaman to终于参透精神世界的奥秘了 finally understand how to live my spirituality.真棒 Yikes.我领悟到 And I've learned that让我的修行更上一层楼的唯一方法... the only way I can move to the next level of my awakening...就是要想办法... is if we all can somehow...克服... get past...那件事的阴影 the incident.完了 Oh, no."那件事" The incident.不堪回首啊 Oh, boy.我想恭喜杰和可爱的歌洛莉亚 I would like to congratulate Jay and the lovely Gloria. 杰&歌洛莉亚的婚礼现场去年二月我为他们感到高兴 I'm very happy for them.我想和杰举办一次盛大的婚礼 I wanted a big, beautiful wedding with Jay...因为我和我前夫的婚礼是在 because my ex-husband and I got married...哥伦比亚一间很小的法官办公室里举办的 in a tiny little office of a judge in Colombia. 我妈妈想去参加婚礼 My mother wanted to go to the wedding以显示自己对前夫再婚一事十分大度 to show everyone how okay she was with all of it, 所以我说服我爸和歌洛莉亚邀请她 so I convinced Dad and Gloria to invite her.当时是谁警告你那是史上最烂的主意 Who warned you that that was the worst idea ever? 是谁 Anyone?是谁啊 Anyone?当然我已经开始新生活了 Of course, I've-I've moved on.我本来要带男朋友来的 I was supposed to come with a date,但他闪到腰了 but he just hurt his back,真有点讽刺啊因为他可是又年轻又健康 which is very ironic because he's young and-and healthy.我妈妈在婚宴上... My mom started drinking...狂饮一种叫做"哥伦比亚淫棍"的鸡尾酒 these cocktails called "Horny Colombians"... 和歌洛莉亚的叔叔们大拼酒量 with some of Gloria's uncles,那酒名显然说的就是那帮家伙 whom apparently the drink was named after.拜托他们很好玩 Oh, come on. They were funny.他们一直摸我屁股 They kept patting my butt.有人自恋了哦 Somebody's full of herself.他们说那是哥伦比亚婚礼的传统习俗 It's a- It's a Colombian wedding tradition, they said.我来祝个酒 I would like to make a toast.是啊外婆醉得不行了 Yeah. Nanna got totally wasted.真的很好玩 Uh, it was really funny.然后就乌七八糟的了 Then it was gross.敬新娘以及新郎也就是我的前夫 To the bride and the groom- my ex.我们一起生活了35年 Thirty-five years we were together,而他见到小骚货10分钟不到就跟着跑了 and he couldn't wait 10 minutes to run off with Charo.开个玩笑而已 That's a joke.说真的我知道他们是天生一对 Seriously, I knew they were perfect for each other... 因为新郎"财大"气粗而新娘"胸大"乳挺 when I saw his wallet and her boobs.把你的脏手拿开 Take your hands off me!-妈妈 -米奇尔放松 - Mom. Mom. - Oh, relax, Mitchell.怎么你今天也变得跟克莱尔一样了吗 What, did you take your Claire pill?-别别 -我们去呼吸一下新鲜空气好吗 - No, no. - Let's just go get a little fresh air, okay?然后就变得诡异了 And then it got weird.-我是歌洛莉亚我是歌洛莉亚 -我抓住她了 - I'm Gloria! I'm Gloria! - I got her. 吻我吧吻我吧 Kiss me! Oh, hey, kiss me!不天呐 No! Oh, geez.外婆力大如金刚 Nanna is really strong.哎呀呦哎呀哟啊嘶嘚啊嘶哆 Ayayayayay! Ooh! Ayayayayay!当我对前夫说出婚誓时 During my vows to my first husband,几个毒贩子冲了进来暗杀了法官 drug dealers burst in and assassinated the judge. 没想到二婚的情形更可怕 This was way worse.说什么好呢我就是能让女人如痴如"狂" What can I say? I drive women crazy.可能有点太快了 It's too soon, I guess.妈所有人都会去的 Everybody is going to be there, Mom!我不管 I don't care.你爸爸和我都不会允许你 Your father and I are not about to let you开两小时的车去看一个演唱会 drive two hours to go to a concert...然后跟一帮男孩子混一晚上 and then spend the night with a bunch of boys,尤其是和你那个17岁的性冲动男友 especially that 17-year-old hormone you're dating. 全程都有人监护的 It's totally supervised.是吗谁监护 Oh, really? By whom?斯宾塞·潘丁的叔叔 By Spencer Patine's uncle.斯宾塞·潘丁是谁 Who's Spencer Patine?你认得斯宾塞的就是手里带家伙的那个 You know Spencer- the guy with the arm.等会儿抄什么"家伙" Wait. What kind of arm?你说的"家伙"是什么意思啊 What is that even mean?他叔叔就是托比叔叔 His uncle is Uncle Toby.托比叔叔啊我会把他加入"安珀警报"名单的 Oh, Uncle Toby. I'll be sure to include that in my Amber Alert.-我的天啊 -我能插句话吗 - Oh, my God! - Okay. Can I step in here?我觉得我能帮上忙 I think I can help.海莉你妈妈担心的是 Haley, what your mom is worried about...你的心会被伤透 is you getting your heart broken因为迪兰明年就要上大学去了 when Dylan goes off to college next year.-他不上大学 -我担心的不是... - He's not going to college. - That's not what I'm- 他不上大学 He's not going to college?他是混乐队的好吧他们要去巡演呢 He's in a band, okay? They're going on tour.事情发展的真是越来越"好"了 Oh, this just gets better and better.为什么你们每件事都要替我做主 Why are you always on me about everything?-因为你必须明白 -好啦大家冷静一下 - Because you need to understand... - Okay. Everybody, calm down!我们从头来说一说 Let's start from the beginning.斯宾塞手里带什么家伙了 What's wrong with Spencer's arm?妈我回来了 Mom, I'm home!宝贝睡衣派对好玩吗 Ay, baby! Did you have fun at the slumber party?你肯定累坏了 You must be exhausted.不我一点儿也不累 No, I'm not tired at all.我是第一个睡着的 I was the first one to fall asleep.你脸上是什么 What's on your face?是与朋友欢聚后的幸福笑容 A smile from having such a good time with my friends. 不是的过来 No. Come here.看 Look.原来他们是笑这个啊 That's why they were laughing.我还以为是我对时事的评论很逗呢 I thought it was my funny take on current events. 他们为什么要干这种事 Why would they do something like that?没什么好担心的 Don't worry about it.小孩子们成天就搞这种恶作剧 Guys pull pranks like that all the time.你也捉弄他们一下呗 You just gotta prank 'em back.要让他们知道 You just gotta show 'em你是会以牙还牙的 you're willing to give as good as you get.你想什么呢 What do you think?报仇 Revenge.我还挺喜欢的 I like it.妈妈也许我们不该旧事重提 Well, Mom, instead of dredging up the whole incident, 就直接全部忘掉好了 maybe we should just try and repress it,就像一般家庭那样 like a- like a normal family.我不行我得来个了断 I can't. I need closure.我的人生即将开始新的旅程了 I'm about to embark on a new journey.我认识了个男人 I met a man.是吗 Really?他叫查斯 His name is Chas,而且他让我搬到国外和他双宿双飞 and he's asked me to come live with him in his foreign land.去哪儿呢 Wow. Where?加拿大 Canada.你要搬到加拿大去吗 You're moving to-to Canada?加拿大法语区 French Canada.真棒呀 That's wonderful.确实很棒 It is wonderful.只是我一想到自己对歌洛莉亚和杰 It's just that when I think of all the awful things... 以及对你和克莱尔说过的那些恶言 that I said to Gloria and Jay and you and Claire, 我就有罪恶感 I feel such guilt.[班夫公园:加拿大著名景点]往事随风去吧班夫公园再见 Give it time, and see Banff.小卡别这样 Cam, please.我就是没法对他以身相许 I just can't give myself to him sexually.-别说这妈 -没想到你突然说如此劲爆的 - Okay. Mom. - Did not see that coming.不不别误会 Oh, oh. Don't get me wrong.我们"下半身"非常性福 We satisfy each other down there--受不了了 -听不下去了 - Oh! Can't.. - Don't wanna-所以我需要大家原谅我 That's why I need everyone's forgiveness.米奇尔我需要你帮忙 I need your help, Mitchell.米奇尔你听见了吗 Did you hear that, Mitchell?你妈需要你的帮助才能跟她的新男友查斯做爱 Your mom needs your help to make love to her new man, Chas.完全"不"奇怪啊 That's not weird at all.妈我... Mom, I-我不是很明白你到底想我做什么 I'm just not really sure what you're asking me to do, Mom.大家都生我的气 Well, everyone's mad at me.或许你能帮我安排一下我好道歉 Maybe you could pave the way so that I can apologize. 这样啊 Well, um, you know,其实我们今晚要搞周日聚餐 we are actually all supposed to have Sunday dinner tonight, 所以或许我可以问问大家 so maybe I could go around and ask everyone看看你能不能也来 if it's okay for you to join us.我就知道你靠谱 Oh! I knew I could count on you.我的帅小伙儿 Oh, my beautiful boy. Mmm.我爱死你了 I love you so much.世上有一种鱼 There's a fish in nature会一直把小鱼含在嘴里 that swims around with its babies in its mouth.要是这种鱼看见米奇尔和他母亲的关系 That fish would look at Mitchell's relationship with his mother...准会说 "乱得不堪入目啊" and say, "that's messed up."天啊 Boy-和你妈妈闹僵了对吧 Things with your mom got pretty intense down there, huh?好比是水火不容你明白我的意思吗 All like East Coast-West Coast. You feelin' me? 父亲般的威严朋友般的关爱 Act like a parent, talk like a peer.我称之为"友父" I call it "Peerenting."我从我老爸那儿学来的当年他走进我房里 I learned it from my own dad, who used to walk into my room...他会说 "怎么了小老弟" and say, "what's up, sweathog?"宝贝我很愿意让你去看演唱会 Honey, I would love to let you go to the concert. 开什么玩笑演唱会多劲爆啊 Are you kidding me? I think concerts are rad.我当年可是个"霍粉"呢 Hello? I was a Hall-Raiser.什么 A what?有一年夏天我追着霍尔&奥兹走遍了全国 I followed Hall & Oates around the country one summer.《千金小姐》唱出了我的心声 "Rich Girl" Just spoke to me.我当年正和一个千金小姐恋爱也不算恋爱啦 I was dating this girl. Not- Not dating. 我猜自己也只是在追着她而已 I guess I was following her too, kind of-妈妈就是不相信我这不公平 Okay, Mom just doesn't trust me, and it's not fair. 她相信你只是演唱会很容易就让人乱来 She trusts you. It's just that weird stuff happens at concerts.-男生们会一柱擎天 -真恶心 - Boys get urges. - Ew.爸你进来有什么事吗 Dad, is there something you want?有就这个事来跟你这妹子沟通 Yes, there is- to connect with this girl right here. 拜托假装我不是你爸爸 Now, come on. Pretend I'm not your dad.我们只是两个好朋友在果汁吧闲聊 We're just a couple of friends kickin' it in a juice bar.果汁吧是什么东西 What's a juice bar?好吧那就茶餐厅吧随便 Okay, a malt shop. Whatever.-爸我不... -别谁是你爸啊 - Dad, I don't... - No. Who's Dad?谁是你爸啊我是生物系的马库斯 Who's Dad? I'm- I'm Marcus from Biology.海莉你好你和迪兰发展得如何啊 Hey, Haley. How's it going with you and Dylan?他有没对你图谋不轨啊 Has he tried anything inappropriate with you?妹子 Girl.喂 Hey.-在干嘛呢 -不知道没啥 - What are you doing? - I don't know. Nothing.在和茶餐厅里碰到的一个傻子聊天呢 Just talking to some dork I met in a malt shop. 你好米奇尔有事吗 Hey, Mitchell. What's up?你好恰好路过而已 Hey! Just in the hood.你记得当年妈妈放弃工作来照顾我们吗 Do you- Do you remember how Mom gave up a career to raise us?大有前途的工作呢 Promising career.天呐 Oh, God.克莱尔 Claire?妈妈 Mom.怎么这么长 Why so long?我知道我知道这么长时间没说话很怪 I know, I know. It's weird when we haven't talked for a while.我是说你的头发长 I mean your hair.要是我不指出你的形象问题谁会啊 Well, if I can't tell you, who will?妈妈想你知道 So, Mom wants you to know她对那件事非常抱歉 that she's very sorry about the incident,而且她希望我们能原谅她 and-and she wants us to forgive her.通过你来道歉她还真有诚意啊 How very nice of her to say that through you.瞧见没 Do you see?她的讽刺太伤人了像抽了我一下 The sarcasm is so hurtful, like a whip.你知道吧在成长中 You know how growing up,我们脑子里总有一个声音 we all have that voice inside our head...时刻提醒我们自己的不足 that tells us we're not good enough?而提醒我的声音来自脑外 Well, mine was outside my head,每天开车送我上学的时候 driving me to school.总之嘛 Uh, so- so anyway,妈希望化解跟爸爸和歌洛莉亚的矛盾 Mom really wants to smooth everything over with Dad and Gloria.所以我在想你看这样行不 So I was thinking, uh, would it be okay她今晚和我们一起吃饭如何 if she maybe joined us for dinner tonight?因为这也许是你们最后一次见我了 Because it may be the last time you ever see me. -这个嘛 -好吧妈等等 - Well... - Okay. Wait, Mom.你说什么啊 What are you talking about?我啊我要去... Well, I'm- I'm moving...一个遥远危险的地方 to a far and dangerous place.加拿大不过啊她认识了个叫查斯的男人 Canada. But, uh, she met a man named Chas. -是的 -他是个记录员 - Yeah. - He's a logger.是个伐木工吗 Uh, like a lumberjack?不他是给一个胆固醇研究记录血液样本的 No, he logs blood samples into a cholesterol study.反正在我走出那次婚礼的阴影之前 Anyway, until I'm past this whole wedding debacle, 我没法和他亲热 I can't be intimate with him.我们互相取悦对方 We do things to each other.-是用手来做的 -老天啊 - We use our hands. - Oh, my Lord.你好外婆 Hey, Nanna.我的小心肝 Oh, my little comet!看看你都长成大人了 Oh, look at you. You're all grown up.这话你跟妈妈说吧 Hmm. Tell Mom that.她甚至还不让我去看演唱会呢 She won't even let me go to a concert.要跟男朋友过夜的好吧 Overnight, with her boyfriend.你笑什么 What are you laughing at?没啥我在笑因果报应 Oh, karma's a funny thing, that's all.-还记得瑞奇吗 -天呐 - Remember Ricky? - Oh, God.谁是瑞奇 Ooh. Who's Ricky?谁也不是 No one.瑞奇是你妈妈当年的男朋友 Ricky was your mother's boyfriend,他长得跟邪教杀人狂查尔斯·曼森一样 and he looked like Charles Manson.有一晚她直到凌晨4点才回家 And one night, she didn't come home until 4:00 in the morning.4点啊妈你当年跟瑞奇干嘛呢 4:00. Wow. Wow. Mom, what were you and Ricky doing? 没事我们什么事也没干 Nothing. We were doing nothing,他是个很贴心的小伙儿 and he was a very sweet boy,妈你当年愿意了解一下的话就会明白这点 which you might have known if you bothered to get to know him.迪兰也很贴心 Dylan's a sweet boy.迪兰迪兰怎能和瑞奇比 Dylan. Dylan isn't Ricky.瑞奇是个诗人呢 Ricky- Ricky was a poet.迪兰还是歌手呢 Dylan writes songs.歌写得可棒了 Awesome songs.你也可能会明白这一点 And maybe you would know that前提是"你愿意了解一下的话" "If you bothered to get to know him."好吧首先我不是我妈妈 Okay, you know? First of all, I am not my mother.在了解一个人之前我不会先做出评判 I don't judge people before I get a chance to know them.所以你请迪兰今晚来吃晚饭吧 So you invite Dylan over to dinner tonight,如果他像你说的那样贴心善良 and if he's as sweet and as kind as you say he is,那我就一百个放心地让你们去演唱会 then I have no problem considering letting you go to the concert,不过我还得查查托比叔叔的底细 after I do a background check on Uncle Toby.谢谢谢谢谢谢妈妈 Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, Mom.我这就给他打电话 I'm gonna go call him!真是心胸"开阔"教女有方啊 That's very revealing.这就是我为人之母的风格 That's my parenting style.-不我是说你胸部外露了 -妈 - No, I meant your blouse. - Mom!克莱尔等等 Claire, wait. Come...您这是帮倒忙呢 Not making this easy.克莱尔拜托别这样别这样 Claire, come on. Stop, stop, stop.就让她来吃晚饭吧向爸爸和歌洛莉亚道歉 Just let her come to dinner, apologize to Dad and Gloria,之后她就能和查斯幸福到永远了 and she and Chas can live happily ever after.-在加拿大 -在加拿大 - In Canada. - In Canada.等会你为啥不让她自己解决呢 Wait. Why don't you make her fix this,她每次都找你帮忙 instead of you doing it as usual?你这话什么意思 Whoa. What's that supposed to mean?每次老妈一闯祸就让米奇尔来收拾残局 Mom makes a mess, and there's Mitchell to clean it up.绝对不是这样的 That is so not true.真要细究 If anything,其实是因为你跟妈咪的关系太僵了 you're the one with the screwed-up relationship with Mommy--跟妈妈 -哇塞 - With Mom. - Wow.-"妈咪" -没我没这么叫 - "Mommy"! - No, I didn't say it--我擦 -好吧好吧 - Damn it. - Ooh. Fine. Fine.-让她来吧但她得亲自跟爹地说 -"爹地" - She can come, but she's gotta clear it with Daddy. - "Daddy"?-我没叫"爹地" -你叫了"爹地" - I did not say "Daddy." - You said "Daddy."嗨老爸 Hey, Dad.米奇尔你来这儿干嘛 Mitchell, what are you doing here?抱歉打扰你了 Uh, I'm sorry to bother you.我能跟你和歌洛莉亚说几句吗 Can I talk to you and Gloria for a second?她出去解决曼尼的事儿了 She's out dealing with a Manny situation.他把一个小孩的单车给烧了 He set a kid's bike on fire.为什么 Why?我叫他去报复别的孩子 Oh, I might have told him to get even with some kids,结果他就做了回"铁血真汉子" and he went all Rambo with it.是我这个当爹的教育失误 Not my best parenting moment.也不是最糟的一回啦 Not your worst.什么事啊 What's up?-那个妈妈回来了 -你妈妈? - Uh, well, you know, uh, Mom's in town. - Your mom? 不是你妈妈她从坟墓里爬出来了 No, your mom. She's back from the grave.当然是我妈啦老爸 Yes. Yes, my mom, Dad.我妈诈尸也没她可怕 My mom would be less scary.听着是她毁了那次婚礼 Listen, she's a wreck about what happened at the wedding, 所以她想今晚一起去吃饭向大家道歉 and she wants to come to dinner tonight to apologize to everyone.你还是她的狗腿子啊 Still her little errand boy, I see.不为什么大家都这么说啊才不是 No- Why does everybody keep saying- No.我只是想让这个家重归于好 I- I'm just trying to piece this family back together. 那你会跟歌洛莉亚说妈要一起去吃晚饭吗 So, you'll talk to Gloria about Mom coming to dinner?歌洛莉亚打死都不会同意的 Oh, Gloria would never go for that in a million years. 她还在生你妈妈的气 She's still furious with your mother,所以我没有在和你谈话 which is why I'm not talking to you.我怎么得罪你了 What did I do?这次谈话压根就不存在 This conversation never took place.你可有点不近人情啊 That's not very nice.我大老远跑来的 I drove all the way here.不你从来就没来过 No, you didn't. You were never here.你连电话都没打过 You never even called.我本来是要打的 I would've called,但我觉得面谈比较好 but I thought it would be better-这是怎么一回事啊 What's happening here?听着我也想给这事来个了断 Listen, I would love to get this thing behind us,但如果我瞒着歌洛莉亚请你妈来的话 but Gloria would never forgive me她是绝不会原谅我的 if I pulled a fast one on her.所以要由你瞒着她去请你妈来 That's why you're going to pull a fast one on her, 而我则假装对此极力反对 and I'm not going to like it one bit.好吧这太好了 Okay, that's just great.没事好极了看来又是我背黑锅了 No, that's great. So, it's all up to me.我听不见你因为你在家里而我在打瞌睡 I can't hear you because you're back home, and I'm taking a nap.-小迪迪你可算来啦 -你好 - D-Money! There he is. - Hey.-快进来 -你好 - Come on in. - Hey.-你好 -你好吗 - Hi. - How you doing?我很好 Good.喂各位 Um- Uh, hey, everybody.-这位是迪兰 -你们好 - This is Dylan. - Hey.-你好迪兰 -你好 - Hi, Dylan. - Hey.这孩子心地非常善良 He has a very gentle soul.一句"你好"你就看出来了 You got that from "Hey"?迪兰我看你带了乐器啊 So, Dylan, see you brought the ax.-是啊我刚排练回来 -真棒 - Yeah, yeah. I just came from practice. - Sweet.真怀念当年 Miss those days.你以前也在乐队混吗 Oh, you were in a band?本来可以的但是在高中时 Could have been, but in high school一心痴迷于魔术所以嘛 I was really all about my magic, so-老天啊别吹了 Oh, my God. Over.肯定是爸爸和歌洛莉亚来了 Oh, that's gonna be Dad and Gloria.米奇 Oh, Mitchell.我知道这很傻但我... I know it's silly, but...我真有点儿紧张了 I'm a little nervous.那可不傻紧张是正常的 Oh. That's not silly. You should be.-好呀 -你好 - Hola. Hola. - How are you?-曼尼 -菲尔 - Manny? - Phil.-胡子真帅 -谢谢 - Nice mustache. - Thank you.别逗他小心他把你家给烧了 Don't make fun. He may burn your house down.老天 Oh, boy.迪迪 Dede.杰歌洛莉亚你们好 Hi, Jay, Gloria.她在这儿干嘛 What is she doing here?她那话什么意思她不知道我要来吗 What does she mean, "What is she doing here?" -米奇尔跟你说了我会来 -瞎说 - Mitchell told you I'd be here. - Lies!我不能跟她说否则她就不来了 I couldn't tell her, because she wouldn't come.歌洛莉亚我妈妈想为之前的事道歉Gloria, uh, my mom wants to apologize for everything.所以你就给歌洛莉亚来个突然袭击吗 So you just spring it on Gloria like this?米奇尔你有病是吧 Mitchell, what the hell is wrong with you?我不想听她道歉 I don't want her apologies.宝贝不能怪你 Who could blame you, honey?所以都怪你出的馊主意 Which is why this is a terrible idea by you!杰曼尼我们走 Jay. Manny. Let's go.歌洛莉亚等等 Oh, wait, wait, Gloria.我只是想告诉你 I- I just want to tell you我对大闹婚礼的事非常抱歉 how sorry I am for ruining your wedding.我那时孤独一人日子很不爽 I was struggling with being alone.同时杰那么快就有了新恋情 Meanwhile, Jay moves on so easily,而且他找的不是一般的女人 and-and not with just anyone-而是一位 with a...年轻的 young...聪明而且美丽的女人 and smart and beautiful woman.我并不指望你原谅我 I don't expect you to forgive me.如果我是你我只想抽我自己丫的 If I were you, I'd want to punch me right in the mouth. 我觉得我们家今天报仇也报够了 I think we've had enough revenge in this family for one day.真好啊你们看 Ah. Okay. Y- You see?我们家即将翻开新的一页多亏了我 Yeah, we're all gonna move past this, and because of me,我可不是妈妈的小乖乖 who's not a mama's boy, but is而是个通情达理善于察言观色的智者 a caring person with wisdom and emotional insight.都给我记着吧衰货们 So make a note, bitches.你真心不适合王婆自夸 It's not a good color on you.我原谅你 I forgive you.我没料到会这样 I am not prepared for this.我只是 I just-我想 I- I wanna-扭断你的脖子 -什么 - rip your head off! - What?搞毛啊 What are you doing?-你毁了我的婚礼 -不 - You ruined my wedding! - Oh, no!我按住歌洛莉亚了 Oh! I got Gloria!-我按住歌洛莉亚了 -妈别这样 - I got Gloria! - Mom, come on.腿别乱蹬 Unbend your legs.我按住歌洛莉亚了 I got Gloria.站好都是大人了别闹了 Stand up like a big girl. Come on.好了别闹了别闹了都别闹了 All right. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it, the two of you. -让你见笑了很抱歉 -没事没事 - I am so sorry about this. - No, it's cool. It's cool. 真是太荒唐了歌洛莉亚不是小三 This is ridiculous. Gloria didn't steal me,迪迪你是知道的 Dede, and you know it.我们夫妻不和已经多年 We grew apart for years,你离开家去寻找自我记得吗 and you left to find yourself, remember?我还以为自己能处理好 I thought I could handle this.我很抱歉 I'm so sorry.谁要听你丫说抱歉 You don't say sorry anymore!-你的抱歉都是放屁 -我拉住歌洛莉亚了 - That word means nothing in your mouth! - I got Gloria.我都不知道出什么事了 I don't know what just happened.我知道 I do.我是说在我看来这事很简单 I mean, it seems pretty simple to me.你们都极力想护住些美好的东西 You're reaching out, trying to hold on to something awesome.这个或许你不该... Um, maybe- maybe you shouldn't...没事没事我不习惯这样 Look, look, look. I'm not used to this-这种大家族的家事儿 the whole big family thing.在我家我们甚至互相不说话 In my house, we don't even talk to each other.有趣的是当我第一眼见到海莉 You know, it's funny- the first time I saw Haley, 我就知道我喜欢她 I knew I liked her.她很美丽动人 I mean, she's beautiful and everything,但不只如此 but it's-it's not just that.她还有一种令人折服的自信 It's that she's got this killer confidence-那种那种自信 you know, the kind of confidence来自于像你们这样的大家庭 that you get from having a family like this...这种充满激情 that's passionate...对异国美女的包容 and accepting of hot foreigners...对基佬和疯婆子的包容 and gay dudes and nutty people.就是 You know,真正相亲相爱的家庭 a family that actually loves each other.我无法相信自己会说出这话 I can't believe I'm gonna say this,但也许我们应该让她跟他去 but maybe we should let her go with him.他真是个好小伙 He's perfect.各位海莉说迪兰是个音乐家 Everybody, Haley says that Dylan is a musician,而且他写歌写得非常好 and he writes some great songs.-是啊 -老弟来演奏一曲吧 - Yeah. - Play something, bro.。

-亲爱的好好享受比赛哦 -谢谢 - Oh, hey, honey. Have a great time at the game. - Thanks.什么在响 Oh. Why are you crunching?通常我是守规矩的人 Ordinarily, I'm a rule follower,但是如果有人不准我 but when someone tells me I can't bring自带零食进体育馆 my own snacks into their stadium,我就要生气[坚果]了 that's when I get a little nuts.这是个自由的国家不是吗 It's a free country, right?这么说吧让我不爽[薯片]的是 Let's just say it ruffles me...某些蠢货[花生]叫我 when some goobers tell me...在发薪日[糖]花上半天 I have to spend half my payday...在他们的热狗上 on their hot dogs.记得回来照全家福 Please, just remember the family portrait.-摄影师只有一个小时时间 -好吧 - We only have the photographer for an hour. Okay? - Okay.亲爱的要不要去试试 And, sweetie, did you have a chance to我放在你衣橱里面的白裤子 try on the white pants I put in your closet?哦长什么样的 Oh, what do they look like?白裤子还能长什么样 Is there really a more clear way to describe white pants?亲爱的如果不合适 Sweetie, if they don't fit you,你就是全家唯一没穿白裤子的人了 you're going to be the only one not wearing white, 然后你就像"沃尔多在哪里"一样明显扎眼 and then you're gonna stand out like "Where's Waldo?"实际上沃尔多在哪里不会明显扎眼 Actually, "Where's Waldo?" doesn't stand out. 你很难找到他那正是游戏乐趣所在 He's super hard to find. That's the challenge. 此次全家福对我来说很重要 This portrait is incredibly important to me.而且他就叫沃尔多没有"在哪里" Also, his name is just "Waldo."我花了好几周时间才选到 I spent weeks trying to find一个每个人都有空的时间 a time that works for everybody...还有合适的摄影师 and finding the right photographer.你向我保证会乖乖合作好吗 So if you could just promise me that you'll cooperate, okay?-我保证 -好吧 - I promise. -Okay.-你想得真周到 -谢谢 - This is amazing that you're doing this. - Mmm, thank you. -你太棒了 -谢谢 - You're wonderful. - Thank you.过来 Get in here-哎呀使不得 -哦 - Oh, no can do. - Oh.-我爱你 -拜拜 - I love you. - Bye.我的好内裤哪去了 Where's my good underwear?问题应该是 The question is,为什么你还有烂内裤杰 why isn't all your underwear good, Jay?你赚钱那么多 You make a nice living.新来的佣人老是把我的内裤和曼尼的弄混 The new maid keeps mixing up my underwear withManny's.有一次我随便抓了一条 Put on the first thing I grabbed.紧得跟止血带一样 It was like a crotch tourniquet.-你得跟她说啊 -为什么让我说 - You gotta talk to her. - Why me?喂你们说一样的语言 Hola. You both speak the same language.她是葡萄牙人你知不知道 She's Portuguese. Do you know how offensive it is...把我们混为一类人是很不礼貌的 that you put all of us in the same mixing pot?抱歉请代我给她道个歉还告诉她 Sorry. Please apologize to her when you tell her not to-不要把我的内裤 -我们语言不通 - put my underwear- - I can't talk to her!-卢克呢 -我代替他去 - Where's Luke? - I'm going instead.卢克有个家庭作业明天就要交了Luke suddenly remembered a school project due tomorrow.噢太不幸了 Oh, that's tough.但是这对他可能是不错的一课 But it's a good lesson for the kid.你作了承诺 You know, you make a commitment,-你得要兑现 -对 - you gotta follow through. - Yeah.是什么作业 What is the project?他要采访一个曾经生活在60年代的人 He has to interview somebody who lived through the 1960s.不会吧 Oh, no.喂 Hello.是啊卢克 Yeah, Luke.当然我记得我承诺过什么 Oh, sure. I remember what I said.过来吧好 Yeah, come on over. All right.歌洛莉亚你得带曼尼去看比赛 Gloria, you're gonna have to take Manny to the game. 好耶曼尼快点 Yay. Manny, vamos!我还在穿衣服呢 I'm still getting dressed.妈我觉得我减肥有效果了 Hey, Mom, I think my diet's working.我内裤都松了 My underwear won't stay up.摩登家庭第一季第二十四集好吃来 Oh, so delicious. Yes.今天不和你去没关系吧 Hey, you're okay with me not going with you today, right? 有人请我周末去婚礼献唱 I have been hired to sing at a wedding this weekend.我在一次精彩的卡拉OK I was plucked from obscurity演出后被别人选中了 after a particularly stirring karaoke performance.所以说呢我也算是专业歌手了 So I guess you could say I'm a professional singer now. 他们是以花代钱付给你的所以呢 Well, they're paying you in flowers, so-反正就算他们给钱我也会拿去买花的 Well, I would've blown the money on flowers anyway.他们倒是省了我的麻烦 They're saving me a step.再说所有的歌后都有人献花 Plus all the great divas are rewarded in flowers.然后还有支票 They're also given paychecks.我不大擅长闲聊所以呢 And I'm really bad at small talk, so-我懂了没什么问题 I get it. It's not a problem.是吗我看你一早上没说话 Are you sure? 'Cause you've been quiet all morning.因为我得酝酿一下我的嗓子 It's because I'm resting my instrument.好吧 Okay.我看他是压力巨大 I feel tension.科比科比这边 Kobe! Kobe, over here!科比科比这边 Kobe! Kobe! Over here!需要帮忙吗 What can I do for you?你喜欢当篮球运动员吗 Do you like being a basketball player?不是吧你 Serious?我紧张了我没想到你会往这边看 I choked. I didn't think you'd look up here at me. 那下次准备下 Little preparation next time.用用脑子好好想哦 It's a mental game.懂了 Duly noted.-好 -湖人队入场 - All right. - Your Los Angeles Lakers!-怎么了 -楼梯坏了 - What's wrong? - That broken step.全家福会因此被毁的 It's gonna ruin our whole family portrait.我是这样想的我兴奋得不得了 Okay, here's my idea. I'm really excited about it. 全家人都穿白色 The whole extended family, all dressed in white,一字从上到下排开 in a single-file line down the staircase.就像高速公路的汽车 Oh, like a line on the highway.不是 No.那跳台滑雪 Or, uh, a ski jump.也不是 No.我搞跳台滑雪干嘛 Why- Why would I want a ski jump?不知道 I don't know.我是想一家人在一张大床上 My idea was to have the whole family in a giant bed,就像威利·旺卡一样 like in Willy Wonka.那简直太"可笑"了 Yeah, but that's ridiculous.应该是"可口" "Ridiculicious."我什么都没看到 I don't see anything.所以是我疯了吗 So I'm crazy?不你没有 No. You're... not.你爸早该把这个楼梯修好的 Your father was supposed to fix that step.妈你对这些小细节太挑剔了 Mom, you're obsessing over the tiniest little thing- 这么说你也看到了 So you do see it, yeah.不就照张相嘛有什么大不了的 What is the big deal about this one picture?亲爱的我跟你说 Honey, you know what,我不指望你能理解但是 I don't expect you to understand, but-这样等你以后当妈了 All right, when you're a mom,会感到时光如白驹过隙 everything goes by so quickly.要不了多久卢克就开始刮胡子了 In a minute, Luke's gonna be shaving,艾丽克斯去上大学你呢 and Alex is gonna be off at college, and you're gonna be- 你会做一些了不起的事情 you'll be doing something great.我就是想时间定格在这一刻 I just wanna freeze this moment as it is right now.-能理解吧 -能 - You know? - I do.我知道我平时松松垮垮 I know I don't show it,但是这个家庭对我来说很重 but this family's still the most important thing-管它呢 Screw it.我亲自来修 I'm gonna fix the bastard.我倒要看看有多难 I mean, seriously, how hard can it be?你老爸能行那我也能行对吧 If your father can do it, I can do it. Right?好吧 All right.我只需要 I just need to...抬起来- lift-现在我看见了 Oh, now I see it.我们的位置真棒 These seats are amazing.你口袋里怎么有糖漏出来 Why you have candy coming out of your pocket?不是不是不是 No, no, no, no, no.-什么 -我自己带了零食 - Huh? - I brought my own snacks.不是我小气这是原则问题 Not because I'm cheap. It's a matter of principle.再说冒着被人发现的危险其实挺刺激的 Plus I get a little rush from the danger.淡定装酷 Be cool. Be cool.-什么 -淡定看前面 - What? - Be cool. Just look straight ahead.我感觉好极了哦吼 I never felt more alive. Whoo!我越搞越糟糕但我没有惊惶失措 Okay, I just made it worse. I'm not freaking out though.我打电话给你爸问他怎么修 I'm gonna call your dad, and he's gonna tell me how to fix this.-天啊是老爸 -哪儿 - Oh, my God! It's Dad. - Where?那里科比的后面 Right there, behind Kobe.-天啊 -真是太少见了 - Oh, my god! - How weird is this!快点快点想一件事情来吓他 Quick. Quick, tell me something to say that will freak him out.-说我怀孕了 -不那个可不能乱说 - Tell him I'm pregnant. - No, not gonna say that. 响了响了真是太有趣了 Okay, here we go. How funny is this!你好我是菲尔有事请留言 Hey, it's Phil. You know what to do.真是"有趣"呀 Well, that was pretty funny.天啊 Oh, my God!天啊 Oh, my God.天啊天啊天啊 Oh, my God. Oh, my God.天啊天啊 Oh, my God. Oh, my God.天啊天啊天啊 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.天啊噢 Oh, my God. Oh.好多了失陪一下 It's much better. Excuse me. Sorry.喂 Hello?家里进来一只鸽子 There is a pigeon in our house.怎么办怎么办 What do I do? What do I do?你谁呢 Who is this?-不搞笑一点都不搞笑 -冷静 - Never funny. Not funny now. - Calm down.我从小就是在动物的陪伴下长大的 You know I grew up around many animals.有一次一只公鸡袭击我 One time, a rooster attacked me,我妈把它脖子拧了然后晚上就吃鸡 and my mom wrung its neck, and we had it for dinner. 你真会挑时间讲故事速回来救我 Great time for an anecdote. Help me.其实它更怕你 It's more afraid of you than you are of it.鸽子什么都不怕 Pigeons aren't scared of anything.电线他们都敢站 They stand on electrical wires.你会没事的米奇尔只要你不 You're gonna be fine, Mitchell. Just as long as you don't-那个他们要开始了 You know what, they're starting.我得挂了拜拜 I gotta go. Okay, bye.只要我不怎么小卡 As long as I don't what? Cam?只要我不怎么我的个娘亲 As long as I don't- Oh, God!酷接吻镜头来了 Cool. The kiss cam.如果镜头圈到了我们 Wouldn't it be embarrassing if the camera-会不会很尴尬 -我们是亲戚 - was on us and then the crowd started- - We're related. 但没有血缘关系 Not by blood.你敢碰我就让你"血溅当场" Touch me and there will be blood.-我们不行 -你怎么了 - Not us. - What's wrong with you?是接吻镜头 It's the kiss cam.要是圈到我们我们就得接吻 When it lands on you, you're supposed to kiss.她是我岳父的二婚妻子 This is my wife's dad's second wife.法律上没问题但是很怪异 So legally okay, but still weird.太尴尬了 That was awkward.又是我们 And we're back.来吧又没什么大不了的 Oh. Ay! Come on. It's not a big deal.多亏了来电显示 Thank God for caller I.D.于是你不想接你老婆电话就可以挂掉 So you don't have to talk to your wife.看我回来收拾你 Oh, we're gonna talk, mister.我会慢慢慢慢说死你 We're gonna talk and talk.老爸妈妈在电视上看到你了你死定了 Dad, Mom saw you on TV. You're dead.是这样的接吻镜头应该只针对 Here's the thing. The kiss cam is only supposed to be... 现场观众娱乐一下的 for the enjoyment of the people at the game.电视上根本不该播 They never show that on TV.人们在自己的比赛场上做什么 What people do in the privacy of their own sports arena... 是他们的自由 should be their own business.66年的时候我在我爷爷的办公品公司打工 So in '66, I worked in my grandfather's office supply business-就是墨水啊订书钉啊纸张之类的 you know, your ink, your staples, your legal pads. 我说得太快了吗 Am I going too fast for you?我听得都睡着了 I fell asleep for a second.你在60年代就没做过有意思的事吗 Did you do anything interesting in the '60s?有一个夏天 Well, one summer,我在姥爷的理发店里帮忙扫头发 I swept up hair at my other grandfather's barbershop. -别折磨我了 -你想要什么样的故事 - You're killing me. - What do you want?我也不确定 I don't know.布莱恩·贝壳维斯的爷爷当年在华盛顿游行过呢 Brian Beckwith's grandfather marched on Washington.阿蒂·贝壳维斯吗 Artie Beckwith?那个整天啰里吧嗦怨天尤人的怂货 He couldn't walk two feet without complaining. 他去华盛顿游行过 He marched on Washington?他是这样告诉布莱恩的 He told Brian he did.跟马丁·路德·金一起 With Martin Luther King Jr.马丁·路德·金 Martin Luther King?-你以为他的理发师是谁 -什么 - Guess who cut his hair. - What?你知道马丁·路德·金的理发师是谁吗 Do you know who cut Martin Luther King Jr.'s hair?卢克的老师怕是也不知道 Neither does Luke's teacher.-所以理发店是在华盛顿啊 -是的 - So the barbershop was in Washington? - Okay.-你还为其他名人理过发吗 -那当然 - Did you cut any other famous hair? - Oh, yeah. 肯尼迪家族理查德·尼克松各位宇航员 The Kennedys, Richard Nixon, all the astronauts.你以为巴斯·奥尔德的外号是哪来的 How do you think Buzz Aldrin got his nickname?酷毙了 Awesome.*莉莉的屋里最好玩* *We love to play in Lily's room**要不要牛奶无所谓* *We don't need any milk*好了莉莉你老爸是铁血真汉子 Okay, you know what, Lily? I am a man.爸这就去厨房给你拿牛奶 I am going into the kitchen to get your milk.*万福玛利亚* *Ave Maria**满被圣宠者* *Gratia plena**玛利亚满被圣宠者* *Maria, gratia plena**玛利亚满被圣宠者* *Maria, gratia plena**圣洁的天主* *Ave, ave dominus**主与尔偕焉* *Dominus tecum**女中尔为赞美* *Benedicta tu in mulieribus**尔胎子耶稣* *Et benedictus fructus ventris**并为赞美* *Ventris tui, Jesus**万福玛利亚* *Ave Maria*有一次威尔特·张伯伦来光顾了 Then one day, Wilt Chamberlain shows up.他说"你能帮忙修下我朋友的头发吗" He says, "Can you take a little off the top for myfriend here?"-竟然是猫王艾维斯 -不是吧 - And it's Elvis. - No way.他是世上最了不起的歌手除了西纳特拉 Greatest singer that ever lived, after Sinatra.谁敢反驳我就跟他急 I'll fight any man who says different.我老爸说最棒的歌手是彼柏·布莱森 My dad says the greatest singer who ever lived is Peabo Bryson.那我只好找你老爸算算账了 Then I guess I gotta fight your dad.是吧 Yeah, I guess.卢克说外公要找你算账 Luke says Grandpa wants to fight you.干嘛什么都跟我过不去 Why does everything have to suck?我们还是改天照相吧 Let's just do the picture another day.我脸上马上要冒痘痘了 I think I'm getting a pimple.不行 No.你知道我多辛苦才约到那位摄影师吗 Do you know how long it took me to book this photographer?在壁炉那里照怎么样 Maybe by the fireplace.行啊旧时代的老人都喜欢在那儿画塑像 Yeah. That's a classic old-person spot for a portrait.拉倒吧墙的颜色太恶心了 Yeah, if I'd ever bothered to paint that hideous wall. 克莱尔是个完美主义者这有时候是好事 Claire is a perfectionist, which sometimes is a good thing,比如选个绝代老公什么的 like when it comes to picking a husband.有时候就不太好了 Sometimes it's a bad thing,比如大家都觉得某样东西很不错 like when everyone else sees something beautiful... 而她的眼里就只有那些丁点大的瑕疵 and all she sees is the teeny-tiny flaw.不行坚决不行 No. No.不行 No.喂我的房子遭殃了 Hi. My house is a disaster.能在你那里拍照吗 Can we do this picture at your place?这个怕是不太可能了 Yeah, that's- that's not gonna work.所以 So-再缠一圈吧粘紧点用点力 Maybe one more layer. And tight, really tight.-爸能再催催他们吗 -刚打过了 - Dad, can you call them again? - I just did.他们在路上了比赛打进加时赛了 They're on their way. Game went into overtime.我知道但是太阳都快落山了 I know, but we're losing the light,而且摄影师 and the photographer's10分钟后还要去个犹太男孩成人仪式 gotta get to a bar mitzvah in 10 minutes.红酒现在你不是吧 Oh, red wine. Really? Now?亲爱的 You know, honey,我觉得你有点太神经质了 I think you're getting a little too uptight about this. -我呼吸困难了 -你没事的 - It's hard to breathe. - Oh, you're fine.你把他怎么了他脸都绿了 What'd you do to him? He's turning blue.只要他的衣服是白色的就行 But his clothes will stay white.-我们回来咯 -谢天谢地 - We're home! - Oh, thank God.曼尼我们换衣服去 Manny, let's go change.嘿又看见我美丽的贤妻了 Hey, there's my beautiful wife.我知道你生我的气 I know you're mad at me,我也知道这泡沫手指无法弥补我的过错 and I know this foam finger can't make up for everything.亲爱的你赶紧换衣服 Honey, you just go change,那事儿我们回头再说 and we'll talk about what you did later.嘿谢谢你买票给我们 Hey, thank you so much for those tickets.歌洛莉亚说你们玩得很开心 Gloria tells me you had a real good time.没没我可没有 Not really. No, I didn't.上苍作证我爱你女儿 God, I love your daughter.我到时候再回来 I should- I should come by亲下这台阶修好这台阶 and kiss that step- fix that step.你说的好像我是故意把家里弄得一团糟一样 Oh, you're acting like I wanted to destroy the house.不我只是觉得奇怪 No. I just think it's odd你毁掉的大部分东西 that the majority of things you destroyed...都是我妈送给我们的 were sent to us by my mom.好吧好吧 Okay, okay, okay.也就是说我和那臭脏鸟周旋的时候 So while I'm fighting off that filthy creature, 还会有时间停下来想哎呀真好 I actually stop and say, "Oh, you know what,总算可以借机毁掉那些 here's the opportunity I've always been looking for庸俗不堪的东西了 to destroy our kitschiest objects."庸俗不堪她听到一定会很"开心"的 Kitschiest? Oh, she's gonna love that.其实如果你跟着我去婚礼 If you would've come with me to the wedding,这一切都不会发生了 none of this would have happened.你是真生气了啊 Okay. So you are angry.米奇尔我懂的 Mitchell, I get it.你讨厌扯家常还不喜欢鸟 You're terrified of small talk and birds.你一定很庆幸那小鸽子 You're just lucky that pigeon没缠着你聊天气状况吧 didn't want to chat you up about the weather.-你好杰 -你们也好 - Hello, Jay. - Hello, guys.老天你怎么穿得跟"舞迷"节目的选手似的 Oh, God. Oh, you look like the guy from Dance Fever.多谢夸奖 Thank you.丹尼·特里奥俄亥俄州克里夫兰市 Deney Terrio. Cleveland, Ohio.老爸非要这样吗我不是在夸你 Dad, really? That is not a compliment.所以之前我才让你先穿上试试转过去 That's why I wanted you to try those on earlier. Turn around.今天不能拍照我的痘痘越发明显了 The picture can't happen today. My pimple's getting worse.我可怜的小宝贝你还能站着吗 Oh, honey, I am so sorry. Can you stand?-能 -那就得拍 - Yeah. - Well, then the picture's happening.大家一定会紧盯着我不放的 It's all anybody's gonna see.我看可不一定 I wouldn't be so sure about that.你看见她穿的裙子了吗 Did you get a look at her dress?什么我看她裙子干嘛我爱的是你 What? Why would I look at her dress? I love you. 邓菲太太太阳就快下山了 Uh, Mrs. Dunphy, the sun is setting.好的这就拍 Okay. Yeah, this is happening.大家快来我们出去了 Everybody, come on. Let's go.小心点我下午才给家具刷了漆摆外边呢 Be careful. I stained some furniture out there this afternoon.可不是嘛老爸 Of course you did, Dad.还有什么需要注意的吗 Anything else I need to know about?没准旁边邻居正忙着打彩弹呢 Maybe the neighbors on either side are having a paintball fight.都看好了我那睿智无比的老爹 Now watch this. Dad, in his infinite wisdom,今天给家具刷了漆 stained furniture today.千万别碰着了还没干呢 Don't touch it. It's wet.-快点快点 -别照了亲爱的 - Hurry, hurry. - Put that down, sweetheart.很好很好大家都过来了现在站这边 Okay. Okay, we got it. Now we're gonna go out here.老天啊你在耍我吗 Oh, my God! Are you kidding me?那洒水器怎么关 How do- How do you turn the sprinklers off?又问我当然了就因为我是拉丁人 Ay! Of course! Because I'm Latina,我就该对花园洒水器什么的了如指掌 I'm supposed to know everything about gardening and sprinklers!他们装这东西的时候就你在 You were here when they installed it.是诶控制器在草坪那边 Ay, yeah. The box is across the yard.你是说要跨过这片黄浦江吗 You mean your now-soaking-wet yard?真好彻底歇菜了 That's great. We are screwed.不还没 No, we're not.我们还没出秘密武器呢 We haven't unwrapped our secret weapon yet.拆弹特工--卢克小神童过去 Luke walks over there, Hurt Locker style...关掉开关 flips the switch,嘭或者不嘭水就关了 and boom- or not boom- water off.好男儿志当英雄儿子 Put the "he" in "hero," son.拆弹专家洒水器终结者还差不多 Hurt Locker? It's more like Squirt Locker.不是吧不搞笑吗 Really? That wasn't funny?我真同情你们这群没幽默感的 I actually pity you guys.没空庆祝了都给我停 No time to celebrate! Stop it!-我们时间不多了 -好的大家 - We don't have a lot of time. - All right, everybody. -请小个子的站前面 -先生 - If I can have the little ones down front- - You know what, sir?不介意的话我来吧 If you don't mind, I've got this.大伙都过来吧 Come on, people, let's get out here.海莉艾丽克斯你们给弟弟拆胶带 Haley, Alex, I need you to unwrap your brother. 邓菲一家站这边 All right, I need the Dunphys over on this side.爸爸你站中间 Dad, you're in the middle.米奇尔小卡莉莉站那边 Mitchell, Cam, Lily on this end. Okay.-听我说 -怎么 - Listen. - Uh-huh?亲爱的我错了如果你再次投入我怀抱 Honey, I screwed up, but if ever you're in my arms again--菲尔现在不说这些 -就得现在说 - Phil, not now. - Yes, now.我不想日后看到这张照片时 I don't want to look at this picture...比如我80岁而你早已与世长辞的时候 when I'm 80 years old and you're long dead... 还想到你拍照时心里深藏的怒气 and know that you were angry at me when we took it. 菲尔回头再说行吗 Phil, we'll talk about what you did later.好了大家请看这里 Okay, everybody. Eyes over here.不关我的事是她亲的我 I didn't do anything. She kissed me.什么 What?-谁亲了你 -歌洛莉亚 - Who kissed you? - Gloria.-什么 -是接吻镜头[同音:亲了小卡] - What? - It was the kiss cam.你亲小卡做什么 Why did you kiss Cam?不是我亲了菲尔他说必须那样 No, I kissed Phil. He told me I had to.-不是这样的 -等一下 - No, no. - Okay, hang on a second.这是在你无视 Was this before or after老婆电话之前还是之后 you ignored the phone call from your wife?那个你也看见了 You saw that too?我们就不能先把相照了吗 Could we please just take the damn picture?好了大伙再来一次 Okay. Everybody, one more time.-你知道吗我很生你的气 -我就知道 - Just so you know, I am angry with you. - I knew it!-我靠 -今天对我来说很重要 - Oh, damn it! - It was a big day for me,而他不参加的原因是他不喜欢扯家常 and he didn't want to go because he doesn't like small talk.把你们这些小吵小闹 Would it be terribly inconvenient...推迟那么几分钟就有那么难吗 to just postpone this hissy fit for a few minutes?你知道吗或许我们根本就 Ok, you know what? Maybe some of us don't-不想今天拍照 -多谢 - want to take a picture today. - Thank you.拜托了克莱尔 And please, Claire,别逼米奇尔做他不想做的事 don't try to make Mitchell do something he doesn't wanna do.闭嘴吧小卡 Oh, shut up, Cam.好了别闹了 Okay, stop it! Stop it!大家都听好了我真的好不容易才筹划好 Everyone, listen. This took me forever to put together,所以我真的不在乎 so I don't really care谁亲了谁谁额头上长了痘痘 who kissed who and who's got a pimple on her head... 或者谁穿了超级不得体的裙子 and who is wearing an outrageously inappropriate dress.我们要打起精神假装一切正常 We are gonna get together and act like a normal family...持续十分之一秒就行 for one-tenth of a freaking second,现在就这么办 and we're gonna do it right now.-快点 -别碰我 - Come on, let's go. - Get your hands off of me.就不就不你怎样 No. No. Make me. Make me.太荒唐了你们两个对每件事都那么纠结 Ah, this is ridiculous. You're both uptight about everything.你不想陪他去参加婚礼 You didn't want to go to a wedding with him就因为不愿意和别人聊天是吗 because you didn't want to make small talk?我就是这样认识歌洛莉亚的 That's how I met Gloria.还记得我对你说的第一句话吗 Do you remember the first thing I said to you?记得 "我喜欢巧克力 Yes. "I like chocolate,我喜欢水果但不喜欢两样加在一起" I like fruit, but not together."常青藤高材生你忍不了是吗还有你 You couldn't come up with that, lvy League? And you.你要是不那么完美主义 You would be a lot happier if you weren't就会活得开心得多 so obsessed with everything being perfect.瞧瞧我们一身白什么东西板球队吗 Look at us here all in white. What are we, a cricket team?告诉你吧生活本就不完美克莱尔 News flash. Life is not perfect, Claire.现在都给我冷静下来 Now calm the hell down.好吧老爸很好对你来说当然轻松 Okay, Dad, that's great, and that's really easy for you to say.但你以为是我想这样吗 But do you think I like being like this?并非如此 No, I don't.所以如果你有什么良方 So if you have some quick-and-easy fix,何不现在就说来听听 why don't you just give it to me right now?-杰 -我的老天 - Jay! - Oh, my God.看我的宝贝 I- I got this, baby.不你干你干什么 No. What did- What did you do?现在两个人都弄脏了 Now two people are dirty.三个 Well, three.好吧你自找的 Okay, you know what?谁叫你说"庸俗不堪" That's for "Kitschy."泥巴大战 Mud fight!别这样别别停下 No. Don't do that. No, no, no! Stop it!大家都站好都听话别闹了 Everybody get back in line. Come on, guys, stop.可恶你们 Damn it. Damn it! Guys!不好意思 Excuse me.你们到底拍不拍了 Are we still doing this?不不拍了 No. No, we're not.-现在拍吧 -准备好咯 - Now we are. - We're ready!-说"茄子" -"茄子" - Say "cheese." - Say "cheese"!68年我在理发店扫头发的时候 Back in '68, when I was sweeping up hair in that barbershop,我曾幻想今后自己家庭的样子 I had this mental picture of the family that,如果够走运的话 if I was lucky enough,有一天我会坐拥完美的妻子完美的孩子 one day I would end up with- perfect wife, perfect kids.结果呢我没那运气 Guess what. I didn't get any of that.最后捞到这么一群二货 Wound up with this sorry bunch.可我每天都对此充满感激 And I'm thankful for that every day.大部分时候吧 Well, most days.我还是就提猫王艾维斯的事好了 I think I'm just gonna go with the Elvis stuff.换我也会 Yeah. I would.右边点右边点 Uh, to the right. To the right.稍微往左一点点 A skosh to the left.对了 There we go.不管了反正重刷墙壁的时候 Whatever. I'm gonna have to take the picture down还是得把这幅照片取下来的 when I repaint the wall anyhow.-杀了我吧 -什么 - Kill me now. - What?我真是太幸运了 Don't know how I got so lucky.爱你 I love you.-我喜欢这张照片 -是啊 - I love that picture. - Yeah.-相框那里是有个缺口吗 -没有没有 - Is that a chip on the frame right there? - No. No.-我看得到 -亲爱的 - I can see it. - Honey.。

杰&歌洛莉亚成为伟大父亲的秘诀是什么 What's the key to being a great dad?有点难回答啊 Ah, that's a tough one.让孩子们自由成长 Giving them the freedom to be whatever they want to be.米奇尔&卡梅隆-对没错 -不管是画家 - Right. Exactly. - Whether that's a painter,诗人飞行员总统[董事长] a poet, a pilot, a president-对于我们来说那就 And for us, we're gonna企业领头人或是一国之君 of a company or of a country.耐心是关键 Patience.菲尔很简单做他们的好朋友 Well, be their buddy.-你的答案就是这个吗 -还有认真学习 - That's your answer? - And stay in school. 克莱尔 &-不对 -还有别吸毒 - No. - And don't do drugs.不对 No!-快告诉我正确答案嘛 -我的天呐 - Just give me the answer. - 0h, God.我再想想 Still thinking.摩登家庭第一季第二集-嗨克莱尔 -嘿 - Hi, Claire. - Hey.-嘿 -好吧 - Hey. - Oh, okay.嗨这位是我老公菲尔 Hi. Um, this is my husband, Phil.-嗨 -那是我儿子卢克就那个 - Hi. - And, uh, that's my son, Luke, right there. -这位是 -德希蕾 - This is - Desiree.-德希蕾对抱歉 -你好啊 - Desiree, right. Sorry. - Oh, hi.-德希蕾刚搬过来 -赞啊哪户 - Desiree just moved in down the block. - Fun. Where? -314 -是嘛 - 314. - Oh!就那栋双卧室别墅室内外兼配家庭活动室The two-bedroom cottage with the indoor-outdoor family room.真厉害你怎么 Very good. How did you-你肯定很喜欢那个蒸气浴 Bet you're lovin' that steam shower.菲尔别吓到人家 Phil, that's creepy.哦抱歉我是我是个房产大亨 0h, sorry. I'm a- I'm a real estate mogul.什么! 不我是个房产中介 "What?" No, I'm a- I am a real estate agent.我们展览过那个房子装饰很好 We caravanned that house. Great, uh, deck.谢谢我离婚手续办好就搬走了 Thanks. I'm just there till my divorce is final.怎么会谁傻到想要跟你离婚 No, who is coconuts enough to divorce you?我们该走了再见了 We gotta go, but we'll see you around.有时间请你过来玩 We'll have to have you over sometime.-我很愿意 -好啊 - I'd love it. - All right.-拜拜 -拜拜 - Bye. - Bye.-她真不错 -滚我们不可能请她做客 - She's awesome. - No, we are never having her over.听说她已经勾引过两个孩子的爸爸了 Heard she already slept with two dads from the school.-什么 -就是 - What? - Mm-hmm.品行不端啊 That's horrible.-爸爸小心 -小心点呀伙计 - Dad, watch out! - Whoa! Watch it, buddy!-老太太 -抱歉 - Grandma. - I'm sorry.那车看起来还是像个女孩车 That still looks like a girl's bike.我们再绑点黑胶带 We'll add more black tape.我儿子一直在骑他姐姐的旧车 My son has been riding his sister's old bike.他现在还没能力照料好一辆新车 Until he's responsible enough to take care of his own bike.他把一瓶苏打水倒在我的电脑上 Look, he spilled a soda on my computer,他还把家里的数码相机弄坏了 he ruined our digital camera就因为他要给自己拍水下相片 taking pictures of himself underwater.那是辆女车我也想给他些教训 It's a girl's bike. I'm all for teaching him a lesson. 可我担心大嘴巴的小混混们因此嘲笑他 But I worry about the ridicule he might get from some loudmouth bully.嘿嘿嘿车很漂亮啊小姑娘 Hey, hey, hey. Nice bike, Sally.老爸 Dad!拜托他骑女式车像洋娃娃一样 Come on. He looks like Little Bo Peep on that thing. 不会再这样了他下午就会有辆新车 Actually, not for long. He's getting a new bike this afternoon.-真的吗 -没错 - I am? - Mm-hmm.是吗 He is?有时候做男人就应该一往无前 Sometimes a man's gotta put his foot down勇敢踏出自己的脚步 and do what a man's gotta do.如果那个死老太婆不满意 And if the old lady don't like it-亲爱的 Honey?让她自己气死算了 That's too damn bad.没错激不激动 Yes. Who's excited, huh?小卡快点要迟到了 Cam, come on. Hurry up. We're gonna be late.只是亲子课而已又不是要飞到卡波去 It's a toddler play class, not a flight to Cabo. 作为唯一的同性恋夫夫我们已经赚够口水了 We're gonna be judged enough as the only gay parents there.我不想再给人迟到的坏印象 I don't wanna be the late ones too.天呐又是旋花呢又是粉色 Wow! Paisley and pink.网眼套头衫为什么不穿了 Was there something wrong with the fishnet tank top?穿啊穿在里面了 Obviously not. I'm wearing it underneath.开玩笑的放松给你 Kidding. Just chill, please. Here.抱歉我只是想留下良好的第一印象 I'm sorry. I just wanna make a good first impression.你是想既融入大家又不吓到他们吗 You wanna fit in and not terrify the villagers?嘿别闹了 Hey, come on.今天莉莉才是主角好不好 Today is about Lily, all right?那个班上可能就有她以后最要好的朋友 Her future best friend might be in that class, 我可不想一开始就惹谁不高兴 and I don't wanna rub anyone the wrong way.能换件衬衫吗 Can you please just change your shirt?好吧你猜怎么着 Fine. You know what?我这就去换上一条卡其布裤子 I'll just go put on a pair of khakis,高尔夫衬衫让每个人都以为 maybe a polo shirt, and everybody will think我们只是一对直男高尔夫球友 we're a couple straight golfin' buddies...碰巧决定一起养个娃 who just decided to have a kid together.我给纳巴那边打电话了 Hey, I called that place in Napa and把房间升级成带温泉浴缸的套房 got us upgraded to a villa with a hot tub.所以准备点泡温泉的衣服吧 So pack whatever you wear in a hot tub.我通常泡温泉都不穿衣服的 I usually wear nothing when I'm in a hot tub.那我同事的老婆就得做个屁股整形了 And my college roommate's wife just had to get a new hip.弱死了 Sucker.曼尼的爸爸带他去迪斯尼玩了 Manny's father is taking him for a couple of days to Disneyland,所以我们就脱身去葡萄酒园 so we're gonna go to the wine country.去喝点小酒吃些美食 We're gonna drink some wine, eat some good food.原本我们可以经常组织此类小资活动 You know, we would do something like this但是因为曼尼就少了很多 a lot more often if it wasn't for, you know, Manny. -他很好他让我们过着朴实的生活 -是啊 - He's good. He keep us grounded. - Yeah.就像机场起雾飞机停飞 Like fog at an airport.豪华轿车4点到 Limo gets here at 4:00.早上嘛我想去俱乐部打会球 This morning, I thought I'd go to the club, hit a few balls.不行曼尼房间的风扇怎么办 No! What about the fan in Manny's room?那个叫个人修吧 0h, yeah. Call a guy.不行你该跟他一起修 No! You're supposed to do it with him.我们得学着教他做些事情 It's important that we teach him how to do things for himself. 在我的家乡男人以干体力活为荣 In my culture, men take great pride in doing physical labor.我知道所以我才雇你们那儿的人给我干活 I know. That's why I hire people from your culture.你真搞笑呀 You're too funny.我跟我下个老公狂花你的钱的时候 I'm gonna share that one with my next husband我就给他讲这个笑话 when we're spending all your money.-爸爸这是全世界最酷的车 -必须的 - Dad, this is the coolest bike ever. - Awesome. 听着伙计 So, listen, buddy.家里有些人 Certain members of this family认为你照料不好这辆车 don't think you can take care of this bad boy.-你是说妈妈吗 -你说的我可没说 - You mean Mom? - Your words, not mine.你妈妈和我是一个整体 Look, uh, your mom and I are a team,而她我们觉得这是个好机会 and she- we feel like this is a chance让你学会负起责任 for you to show some responsibility.别让我们失望 Don't make us look like jerks here.-不会的 -很好 - I won't. - Okay.-最后一点要求 -什么 - One more rule. - What?给我玩得超级无敌开心 Have, like, three butt-loads of fun.谢谢爸爸 Thanks, Dad.-我们开始吧 -先说好3点前要弄完 - So let's do this. - 0kay, but I need to be done by 3:00.我爸爸3点来接我 That's when my dad's picking me up.如果3点还搞不定 Hey, if we're not done by 3:00,我就直接吊死 I'm gonna tie a noose on this thing.在哥伦比亚有句谚语 In Colombia there's a saying:"如果两头犟驴合不来 "If you have two stubborn burros that don't like each other, 就把它们绑在一辆车上" you tie them to the same cart."吊扇就是那辆车 The ceiling fan is the cart.我爸爸要带我去玩太空过山车 My dad's taking me on Space Mountain.那东西超快不过我爸爸什么都不怕 It's supposed to be really fast, but he's not scared of anything.他玩的时候甚至都不系安全带 He doesn't even wear a seat belt when he drives.哇噢也太厉害了吧 Wow. How 'bout that?-他还杀过熊 -真的假的 - Killed a bear once. - Really?熊也坐在过山车上吗 Was the bear sittin' in the passenger seat?给我念下说明书 Read me the instructions."安全须知警告:为避免遭受电击" "Safety tips. Warning: To reduce the risk of electrical shock"-跳过那段废话吧 We can skip that."若不听从警告 Uh, "Failure to heed these warnings可导致重伤甚至死亡" can lead to serious injury or death."你总是瞎担心你自己知道 You know, you worry too much. You know that.不会有人被电到的 Nobody's gonna get shocked.有一次我爸爸被雷劈了 One time my dad was struck by lightning.所以他现在喝多少酒都不醉 That's why he can drink as much as he wants.曼尼觉得他爸爸是个超人 Manny thinks his dad is like Superman.可真相呢他根本不值一提 The truth? He's a total flake.事实上他唯一像超人的方面 In fact, the only way he's like Superman...就是他们都是非法移民 is that they both landed in this country illegally.我怎么这么紧张呀 I can't believe I'm so nervous.他们会喜欢我们的我们就表现真我就行了 They're gonna love us. Let's just be ourselves.或者稍微低调一些 0r a slightly toned-down version of ourselves.我只是不想这又变成"小卡秀" I just don't want this to become an episode of "The CamShow."-天呐大家都喜欢"小卡秀" -我知道 - 0h, my gosh. People love "The Cam Show." - Yes, I know.-你也看"小卡秀" -我确实看 - You watch "The Cam Show." - I do watch it.-是提前预约才能看到 -好吧 - It's appointment viewing. - Okay.-你好 -你们好是参加亲子课的吗 - Hi! - Hi! Are you here for Toddler Time?是的我是米奇尔这是卡梅隆 Yes. I-I'm Mitchell. This is Cameron.-还有我们的女儿莉莉 -你好 - And this here is Lily. - Hello.真好欢迎呀 0h, well! Welcome.我们在这儿轮流吹气球呢 We're all over here taking turns blowing bubbles.多好玩啊对小孩子而言 Well, how nice for... the babies.是啊 Mm-hmm.恐怕我会招架不住啊 This is gonna be really difficult.才跟我保证过了不到10分钟 Ten minutes after making a promise to me,他就把车不上锁扔在这里 he leaves his bike unlocked.我现在满脑子都是克莱尔的河东狮吼 All I can hear is Claire's voice in my head- "他不知道负责任 "He's not responsible.你根本不该给他买车" You never should have given him a bike."我知道我模仿克莱尔超像的 I know. I do a pretty good Claire.所以我决定给他个教训 So I decided to teach him a lesson...让他以为自己的车被偷了 and let him think his bike was stolen.我知道这手段有点恶劣 And I know that sounds kind of rough,但有时候做爹的就要狠一些 but sometimes it's a dad's job to be the tough guy.不好意思谢谢 Excuse me! Thank you.左边我的左边你右边 On your left! My left. Your right!大家好今天有个新家庭加入我们 Everyone, we have a new family joining us today. 大家好我是米奇尔一名律师 Hi. I'm, uh, Mitchell, and I am a lawyer.我是卡梅隆暂时待业 I- I'm Cameron, and I'm currently not working,所以我有很多时间烹饪打篮球还有 which gives me more time to grill and shoot baskets and-还有这是莉莉 And this is Lily.好我们以问候舞作为开场舞 Okay, we're gonna start with the Hello Dance,然后玩积木手指画 and then we're gonna move on to blocks, then finger painting, 最后跳"家庭之舞" and then we're gonna do our Family Dance.好了谁想先开始 All right. Who wants to start us off?P.J小朋友先来 Dance us in, P. J.!-她真可爱 -谢谢夸奖 - She's adorable. - Oh, thank you.-7个月大吗 -8个月 - Seven months? - Uh, eight.噢会抓东西了吗会走路了吗 0h! Is she grabbing or scooting yet?是的都会呢 Yes. Absolutely.我是说她不是手在乱抓就是脚在乱走 I mean, when she's not grabbin', she is- she is scootin'.泰勒进来跳吧 Dance us in, Tyler!准备好了吗好的来吧 Are you ready? Okay. Here we go.小卡莉莉还不会抓不会走呢 Cam, Lily is not grabbing or scooting yet.现在还不会以后会的 Well, she's not doing it yet, but she will eventually.不你看那么多小孩 No, but, see, a lot of these other kids,他们都在抓东西 they're- they're grabbing.我只是给拿着 I-I just- Here. Come-莉莉你看积木 Lily. Look at the block, huh?把积木拿起来莉莉 Grab the block, Lily.-抓着H -该你上场了莉莉 - Grab the "H." - Dance us in, Lily!-好的我来搞定 -小卡 - Okay. I got this. - Cam, just-我知道要压抑我的天赋 Yes, I know. Tamp down my natural gifts然后像个直男一样笨舞 and dance like a straight guy.不许拍屁屁 No slapping your own butt.可不拍屁屁我怎么舞得起来 But that's how I make my horsey go.谢谢大家 Thank you.跳得很好 That was very good.感觉很卑鄙 I feel dirty.-你好 -嘿你好 - 0h, hey. - Hey! Hi.-嗨 -嗨 - Hi. - Hi.真令人难堪 Uh, this is really embarrassing,我把自己锁在外面了 but I locked myself out of my house.噢我总做这种傻事别不好意思0h! Pssh! I do that all the time. Don't be embarrassed.我想你能不能帮帮我 I was- I was hoping you could help me.有扇窗子开着可我够不着 There's a window open, but I can't reach it.能帮我吗 Would you mind?-好的没问题 -太好了 - Yeah. Yeah. Sure. - Great.当然你知道有句俗话说 0f course. You know what they say-"每当上帝关上一扇门他就打开一扇窗" "Every time God closes a door, he opens a window."不过对你的话是他每次都把你锁在外面 0r I guess in this case, every time he locks you out.好的情况如何 Okay, what do we got here?我的魅力征服了她吗是的 I mean, am I attracted to her? Yes.我会趁机发展一下吗不不可能 Would I ever act on it? No. No way.我老婆还健在呢 Not while my wife is still alive.你真的不想喝点什么吗 Are you sure I can't get you something to drink?是不用了我很好真的 Yeah. No, I'm- I'm fine. Really.如果我知道会有帅哥爬我家卧室的窗户 If I knew a man was gonna climb into my bedroom window,我肯定会"清洗"一下的 I would have cleaned up a bit.开玩笑吗房里幽香怡人呀 Are you kidding me? It smelled great in there.好像有乳液精油 Like lotions and oils...那个保湿用的预防干裂 for... dry skin and, you know, calloused hands.其实是香烛 Yeah, it's a candle.-完了 -怎么了 - Uh-oh. - What's wrong?-自行车没了 -哦不 - The bike's gone. - Oh, no.-我帮你找找吧 -不用了谢谢 - Can I help you find it? - That's all right. Thank you. 好吧谢谢你哦 0kay. Thank you!为了教育他我藏起了他的车 So, to teach him a lesson, I took his bike,之后太离谱了 and then- crazy thing-我放下了两分钟就被人卷走了 I put it down for one minute, and someone swiped it from me.或许也是你爸想教育教育你呢 Maybe that was your dad teaching you a lesson.够狠 Zinger.那这一辆能打个折吗 So, any chance I could, uh, get a break on this one?-可以加个铃铛 -成交 - I can throw in a bell. - Deal.-五块一个 -那不要了 - For five dollars. - No, sir.那这次要买保险吗 So, you wanna go for the insurance this time,或是继续给小偷做好事 or is it still for suckers?够狠 Got me again.够狠啊大哥 Well played, milord.这次买保险谢谢 I will take some insurance. Thank you.在搞什么啊 What's going on in there?-第四步不是那样 -不管它 - That's not step four. - Don't worry about it.-上面说你应该... -怎么还管 - It says right here that you should- - That's worrying about it.要不要喝点东西 I thought you guys might need a drink.太想太想了 0h, you have no idea.曼尼宝贝我得去买点旅途要带的东西 Manny, miamor, I have to go get some stuff for our trip.你跟爸爸好好玩好不好 Ay! But have some fun with your father, okay?周一见亲亲 And I'll see you Monday. Mwah!看到我的两个宝贝一起合作好开心哦 It makes me so happy to see my two boys working together.-杰电到自己两次了 -好了曼尼 - Jay shocked himself twice. - 0kay, Manny.-我警告过他了 -是啊他真会帮忙 - Well, I warned him. - Yep, he's been a big help. 看你们都有自己的小笑话了 Look at you two with your private jokes already.就像高个子版的萨拉查和埃尔奥索 You're a regular Salazar and El Oso.那可是哥伦比亚超有名的笑星搭档 It's a very big comedy team in Colombia.埃尔奥索总打萨拉查的头 El Oso is always hitting Salazar in the head用梯子啊等等 with the ladder and things.有时候他们还穿裙子 And sometimes they wear dresses. Hmm.他们不仅逗人笑也让人深思 They make you laugh, but they also make you think.你搞砸了让我很没面子 You blew it. You made me look bad.不你让你妈和我都没面子我们是个整体 No, you made your mother and I look bad. We are a team.-卢克你在吗 -爸爸 - Luke, you in there? - Hey, Dad.嘿小子 Hey. Hey, buddy.今天很有意思吧得到一辆新车 That was, uh- That was pretty fun today, huh? Getting a new bike.-太赞了 -我走以后出什么事了吗 - Yeah, it was awesome. - So, uh, what happened after I took off?-有事想跟我说吗 -没 - Anything you want to share with me? - Not really.那我去车库 So, if I, uh, went out to the garage,拍个照什么的也不会有意外咯took a picture for a scrapbook, there'd be no surprises?对不起我不是故意的我犯了个错 I'm so sorry! I didn't mean it. I just made a mistake.是啊大错误 Yeah, a big mistake!你让我很没面子 You're making me look really bad here.我还告诉你妈说你已经懂得负责任了 I told Mom you were ready for this.就刮花了一点点 It's just a scratch, Dad.那不是重点卢克什么 That's not the point, Luke! What?我骑上路的时候刮花了对不起 I scratched it on my way into the driveway. I'm sorry. 那没丢吗 So, it's not stolen?没啊怎么 No. Why?那太好了 That's good,因为有很多坏人喜欢偷车 'cause... there are bad people out there who would steal a bike.小偷什么的 Those are thieves.你坐那儿反思一下为什么会刮花 You sit there and think about the scratch part.刮花也不行 That's not good either.我得修好这楼梯 I gotta fix that step.我不在的时候别再刮花东西了 So don't scratch anything while I'm gone,痒的话可以挠挠那个不一样 unless it itches. That's different.好消息是卢克的车还在 The good news is, Luke has his bike.更好的消息是 More good news-我偷了个野孩子的车给他上了一课 I taught some random kid a valuable lesson by stealing his bike.最好的消息是克莱尔什么都不知情 Best news- Claire knows nothing.那么新车就丢在 So, I figure I'll just dump the new bike我偷车的地方好了 where I stole the first bike.那样的话丢车的孩子拿到车 That way, random kid gets his back,新车也不会引发很多尴尬的问题 and this new bike doesn't raise a lot of embarrassing questions...比如我为什么要多买一辆 like why I had it或谁爬进了谁的卧室窗户 or who boosted who through a bedroom window.就那样皆大欢喜 So, everybody's happy.狗娘养...你给我的螺丝刀不对 Ah, son of a- You gave me the wrong screwdriver.也许是你使用方法不对 Maybe you're just using it wrong.我爸爸什么工具都搞得定 My dad's great with tools.他不用一分钟就能拆掉车轮子 He can get the wheels off a car in less than a minute. 去酒庄散散心去酒庄散散心 Just get me to wine country. Just get me to wine country. 对不起 Sorry!-我想我胳膊断了 -放松没断 - I think my arm is broken. - Relax. It's not broken. 你怎么知道你什么都不知道 How do you know? You don't know anything.一点安全意识都没有 You have no concern for safety.-砸得又不重 -直接说不就得了 - Because it didn't hit you that hard. - Why don't you just say it?-你不想我在身边 -你猜怎么你说对了 - You don't want me around. - You know what? Right now, I don't!我也不想跟你在一起我要我爸爸 I don't wanna be with you either. I'm gonna go wait for my dad.可你走了我怎么能完成呀 0h, but- but if you leave, how will I ever finish?你知道吗我真希望你没娶我妈 You know what? I wish you never married my mom.-我讨厌住在这里 -你以为我喜欢这样 - I hate living here. - You think I like this arrangement?我有两辆跑车闲置在车道上 I got a two-seater parked in the driveway!我真不理解 I mean, I don't understand.为什么你要背着我做这做那 Why are you trying to sneak around and hide things from me? -我觉得太搞了 -真的吗 - I actually think it's pretty funny. - You do?真的是的 I do. Yes.你偷了一个倒霉孩子的车 I mean, you steal a bike from some poor kid,然后你又把车丢了 and then the bike gets stolen from you.太搞笑了 It's hilarious.-我的风格是不是 -是啊 - Classic me, right? - Yeah!那车丢的时候你在哪儿呢 So, where were you when it got stolen?我当时在加油呢 Oh, I was getting some gas.是吗你加油的时候竟然不在车旁边吗 Uh-huh. You don't stand near the car when you get gas?在啊可是我进去拿了瓶汽水 Yep, but, uh, I went inside to get a soda因为我渴了 because I was thirsty,如果我有汽水我就不会口渴了 and if I had a soda, I wouldn't be thirsty anymore. 我买了一罐就在那边喝完了 So I bought one, then I drank it all right there,所以现在手中才没有空瓶 which is why I don't have the can.亲爱的请你慢慢回忆 Well, honey, please, let's try to remember我是你妻子不是你妈 that I'm your wife, not your mom.以后不用有事瞒着我好吗 So in the future, you don't need to hide things from me. Okay?-好的 -好的 - 0kay. - Okay.-好了 -噢太好了 - 0kay. - Oh! Oh, yeah.-再继续抱抱没够呢 -菲尔你做什么 - You get back here, you! - What are you doing, Phil?我就是太爱你了 I just love ya so darn much!-我知道我也爱你你弄疼我了 -进去吧 - I know. I love you too, but that hurts. -Let's get you inside.-嗨 -我知道好疼啊 - Hi. - I know. That's hurting a lot.-性感熊抱 -嗨你们好啊 - This is a hot one. - Hello! Hi there!-又见面了 -你好 - Hi again. - Oh, hi.我找到你的车了 I, uh, found your bike.太好了你 Oh, good! You--是在加油站的吗 -不在我家 - At the gas station? - No, at my house.我邻居看到车倒在我门口帮我放到车库了 One of my neighbors saw it and put it in my garage那会儿你正在我卧室里所以... when you were in my bedroom, so-我的典型风格? Classic me?快点宝贝拿起积木 Come on, honey. Grab the block.看就像他那样加油啊 See, like he did. You gotta do that.-像他那样拿起来 -最近看电影了吗 - You gotta grab it like him. - So, seen any movies lately?有啊 Uh, yeah.我丈夫和我租了 You know, my husband and I just rented,《妈妈咪呀》我很喜欢 uh, Mamma Mia! Which I liked,只是觉得选梅丽尔·斯特里普做女主角不合适 but I don't know that Meryl Streep was the right choice.你觉得呢 What did you think?有没有搞错啊 Excuse me.让梅丽尔·斯特里普去演蝙蝠侠都可以 Meryl Streep could play Batman and be the right choice.她是完美的 She's perfection...无论她有没有跟克莱默离婚穿没穿普拉达 whether she's divorcing Kramer, whether she's wearing Prada.更不用说《苏菲的选择》了 Don't even get me started on Sophie's Choice.想想我都动情 I get emotional thinking about it.她根本无法原谅自己 She couldn't forgive herself.我觉得她还好 I guess she was okay.真的吗不是吧 Really? Ooh.拿起积木亲爱的 Grab the blocks, sweetheart.-怎么都没兴趣 -亨利在堆积木吗 - You're not even interested in it. - Is Henry stacking?做得好啊亨利 Good job, Henry!做得好 Good job!Q R S T U V Q-R-S T-U-VW X Y 还有Z W-X-Y and Z我现在知道我的 Now I know my-哇噢莉莉 Whoa, Lily! Oh!要不要这么高啊 Not so high. Wow!-人生重要一刻啊 -是啊 - That is a big moment for her. - Yeah.你要份录像吗 Would you like a videotape?那个不用 Uh, you know, I don't-我都不知道她还能不能再做一次 I don't know if I can actually get her to do it again, so-我们的课都有录像的 Well, we tape all of our classes.父母自己带相机不好 We don't like parents bringing cameras in.那样他们就不能一起参与了 It keeps them out of the moment.课后我给你一份录像 I'll get you a copy after class.太棒了好的谢谢你 That's super. Yeah. Great. Thank you.小卡小卡快走 Cam. Cam, let's go.我不知道我怎么了 I don't know what's happened to me,可我刚刚盗取了一个婴儿的知识产权 but I just stole a baby's intellectual property. -什么 -今晚的新闻会曝光我的 - What? - You'll see it tonight on the news.-别说了快走吧 -快看谁来了 - Come on. Let's just go. - Oh, look who's here!-安东和斯科特 -抱歉我们晚了 - Anton and Scott! - Sorry we're late!不是我的错旁边这位爷 Don't look at me. The eye candy here can't leave the house... 不在镜子前打扮个20分钟是不会出门的 without spending 20 minutes in front of the mirror.开什么玩笑啊 Are you kidding me?真的很抱歉 I am so sorry.看那对基神我本可以在这里大放光彩的 Look at those queens. I would have killed with this crowd.是你剪断了我翱翔的"基翅" But you had to clip my wings-而你曾是那翅膀下助力的风 which you used to be the wind beneath.我知道对不 I know. I'm sor-这个班让我发疯了 This class has turned me into a complete monster.我我只是我会补偿你的走吧好不 I'm- I'm just- I'll make it up to you. Let's just go.好了亲子舞时间到 Okay, it's time for Parents Dance.大家都为自己的孩子起舞 Everybody dance for your baby!你想跳是不是 You wanna do it, don't you?好想好想 I do.我想为我的宝贝起舞 I wanna dance for my baby.-好吧上吧去吧 -真的吗 - All right. Go on. Get in there. - You sure?开足马力跳起来吧去吧 Make that horsey move. Go ahead.加油加油 Go, go!我想我受伤了 0h, I think I hurt myself.你好啊哈维尔 Hello. Hey, Javier.曼尼在外面等你呢 Manny's waiting for you outside.什么为什么来不了 What? Why not?等会儿 Hold that thought.他儿子坐在路边等着去迪斯尼乐园 His son's sitting on a curb, waiting to go to Disneyland,可我们的超人爸爸沉浸于赌博不能自拔 and Superman can't drag himself away from a craps table,却说我是混蛋 and I'm the jerk.听着 Say, listen.我 I, uh--很抱歉我有坏消息 -什么 - Sorry, but I got some bad news. - What?你爸爸来不了了 Your dad couldn't make it.为什么 Why not?飞机票卖光了 The plane was full,有个老奶奶回不了家他把票让给了她 and this old lady needed to get home, so he gave up his seat.-你瞎编的是不是 -不是 - You're making that up, aren't you? - No.他就是不愿意来 He just didn't want to come.开什么玩笑他很难过他很想见你 Are you kidding me? He was very upset. He was dying to see you.你看他送什么来了 In fact, look what he sent.-豪华轿车吗 -是啊 - A limo? - Yeah.他让我和你妈妈带你去迪斯尼乐园 He wanted me and your mom to take you to Disneyland. -我跟你说我爸爸超赞的 -是啊他是个王子 - I told you he was an awesome dad. - Yeah, he's a prince.那么成为好父亲的秘诀是什么 Okay. The key to being a good dad?有时候事情会如你所愿 Sometimes things work out just the way you want.比赛谁先到路口 Race you to the end.那主意可不妙对你来说 That is not a good idea... for you.有时候则事与愿违 Sometimes they don't.但你要坚持 You gotta hang in there.因为当一切尘埃落地 Because when all is said and done,一个好父亲的大部分特征 90% of being a dad...就会自然出现 is just showin' up.喂那是我的车 Hey! That's my bike!我不是 Oh, I don't, uh-那个 Well--你 -我是来还你的 - You- - I was giving it back!她无法原谅自己 She couldn't forgive herself.但是 And...她又不得不做出选择 she had to choose.我想因为现在我有了 I think because now I have-我们有了我们有了 we have- we have-我们有了莉莉 we have Lily,很难想象那样的境地 it's so hard to imagine being put in that position.如果我要在莉莉和米奇尔中选一个 If I had to choose Lily or Mitchell,我想我会选择 I mean, I would choose-我不知道我不知道 I don't know! I don't know!我不知道 I don't know!我不知道 I don't know!。

亲爱的要我把车开出去吗 Honey, do you need me to move the car?不不用我能行 No, it's nothing. I'm alright不铁十字给我力量它要栽了 Oh no! Iron cross, she's going down当心菲尔 Oh god! Phil...-你没事吧 -没事 - You okay? - Yes. I am.我没事 I am okay.亲爱的我们为什么要留着这辆车 Honey, why do we keep this car?这车老经典了 It's a classic!不它只是空占地方 No, it just sits here.安全带也坏了 And the seatbelts don't work.门也卡还漏油 The doors stick. It leaks fluids.我们也十年没给它加过油了 We haven't put fluids in it in 10 years.我会把这些毛病都修好 Well, I'm gonna fix all that anyway.然后送给海莉 And then, uh, it's gonna be Haley's car.我才不要给海莉 Oh, we're not giving this car to Haley.车后座都宽得可以放床垫了 It's way too easy to fit a mattress in the back.当年这车可是我们的洞房啊 Remember?要命了这车必须卖 Oh, no. We're selling it.什么 What?!除非你觉得你卖不出 Unless you don't think you can.-此话当真 -是的 - Really? - Yeah.-确定当真 -绝对当真 - Seriously? - You can't.你确定我卖不掉 You honestly think that's gonna work?就是卖不掉 You can't sell it.话说 You know what?你怎么羞辱我都可以 You can insult a lot of things about me...发型啊声音啊平衡板游戏啥的 My hair, my voice, my balance-board exercises... 就是不要羞辱我强大的销售能力 But don't insult my selling.过分了哈 That crosses a line.过在哪里你瞧不见? What line? Oh, you don't see it?因为我以光速给它卖了 That's 'cause I just sold it.《摩登家庭》第二季第一集当这个美黑小星星声称 While the spray-tanned starlet claims自己有六个星期没嗑药时知情者爆料道 to be six weeks sober, sources down under say: 她就像一个嗑药过量的袋鼠一样 She has been bar-hopping蹦啊跳啊混迹于酒吧 like a coked-up kangaroo."爹地给你读什么呢 Ah, what's daddy reading to you?如果还要我再读一次 If I have to read "the very hungry caterpillar"《饥肠辘辘的毛毛虫》我会抓狂的 One more time, I will snap.-哪有那么差劲啊 -别逼人家 - oh, it's not that bad. - I will snap!那啥我把工具箱拿到外面了 So, um, I laid the toolbox outside,所有的材料也都准备好了 And all the supplies are ready,可以开工了 And I think we are good to go!好极了 Terrific.你不打算换身工人套装吗 Aren't you gonna change into a working man's outfit?不用了 No, I'm good,况且我不觉得工人管它叫"套装" And I don't think workmen really call them "outfits." 我们要给莉莉建一座公主城堡 We are building a princess castle for Lily.这是每个父亲都想给他女儿建的 Uh, it's something every father wants to be able to do for his daughter.并且我把自己幻想成 You know, and I fancy myself这个城堡的设计师 as a bit of a castle designer.我画了一些草图 I have done a few sketches.那些以备后用这样我们就能用组装套件 Which we have archived so we can use the kit. -对 -套件 - Mm, yeah. - The kit.套件我们夫妇一条心一起做 Uh, the kit. Which, uh, we're gonna do together.要跟米奇尔一起做这个还不如杀了我 I am petrified to do this with Mitchell.他大学的时候做过几个戏剧的布景什么的 He built a couple of theater sets in college or something,就以为自己是建筑帝了 And now he thinks he knows everything about building.但他根本不搭边 Well, he doesn't.每次我们家要做改造 Every home-improvement project that we've undertaken.都让人好想死好想死 Has been a near-death experience.做开胃菜然后... Make the appetizers. And then we'll be...如果真出了啥意外我希望他一下解决了我 If an accident does happen, I hope he kills me...因为我觉得我不会是个乐观向上的残障人士 Because I don't think I would be a very inspiring disabled person.亲爱滴放亲松 Honey, relax.她还没来 She's not here yet.你最好蛋定一下别猴急猴急的 You might want to play it a little cooler.要不会把你女朋友吓跑的 You don't want to scare off your girlfriend.她才不是我女朋友 She's not my girlfriend!她只是过来跟我一起研究蚕的生命周期 She's just coming over to study the life cycle of silkworms.嗷她到了 Oh. She's here.她到了那啥我头发不乱吧 She's here! okay, how's my hair?是谁说只是朋友来着 I thought it was just a friend.我可听到了 I heard that.我故意的 I wasn't whispering.曼尼去开门让她感受什么叫宾至如归 Manny, open the door. Make her feel welcome. 凯莉早上好 Kelly! Good morning.欢迎你来我家 Uh, I'm glad you're here.这是我妈 Um, this is my Mom.很高兴认识你哦 Nice to meet you!在我们的文化里 In my culture,母亲都灰常粘儿子 mothers are very clingy to their sons.其实呢哥伦比亚妇女死亡的首要原因 In fact, the leading cause of death among Colombian women就是她们的儿子要结婚 is when their sons get married.但是我不会这样 But I'm not like that.我只要曼尼高兴就好哩 I just want my Manny to be happy.曼尼叫你的朋友凯莉吃肉卷馅饼 Manny, why don't you give your friend Kelly an empanada?不了谢谢 Oh, no, thank you.我尽量避免摄入反式脂肪 I try to stay away from trans fats.哎呀呀就吃一个没啥滴啦 Oh, I'm sure one won't make a difference.这是曼尼的最爱哟 They're Manny's favorite!我我也不要吃反式脂肪了 I... think I'm going to stop eating trans fats, too.妈这是在哪拍的 Mom? When was this from?这是我跟你爸去看玫瑰杯的时候拍的 Oh... That's the year your dad and I went to the rose bowl.-那场老精彩了 -是啊 - Incredible game. - Yeah.妈你看起来真美 Mom, you look really pretty.谢谢你宝贝儿 Thank you, sweetheart.那后来怎么回事 So, what happened?小卢克人人都会变老嘛 Well, Lukey, everyone gets older.即便你妈的风采不再 Just 'cause parts of your mom aren't what they used to be,也不代表... it doesn't meam...我是想问比赛后来怎么样了 I mean, what happened in the game?我们输给了宾州队 We got our butts kicked by Penn state.但是游行非常棒 The parade was awesome, though.是安吉拉·兰斯伯里担任司仪 Angela Lansbury was the grand marshal."美好的记忆" 她写道 "Good time," she wrote.行了继续收拾 Okay, come on, guys. Let's get back to it.堆着这么多东西没人会买的 No one's gonna buy this heap looking this way.恶妈妈垃圾丢哪边 Hey, mom, which one is the garbage can?丢... Um, it...乖乖这个不能丢 Honey, you can't throw that away.这是小毯毯 It's blankety.可它有够恶心 It's disgusting.怎么会亲爱的你以前可喜欢它了 No, sweetie, you loved blankety.你上哪儿都要带着它 You wouldn't go anywhere without him.哈直到卢克吐在上面 Yeah, until Luke threw up on it.哈哈 Yeah.我年轻的时候老吐 I used to throw up all the time.还记得呕吐桶桶吗 Remember buckety?看这个 Oh, look at this.这是什么 What is that?那天咱们去海边 We went to the beach one day,卢克玩得很开心 and Luke had such a good time.所以他要带一罐阳光回家 That he wanted to being home a jar of sunshine.这样他就能永远记着了 So he could always remember it.还记得吗亲爱的 Do you remember, honey?不不不别别打开 Oh, no... no, no, don't... don't open it.你真以为你把阳光收进罐子里了 You really think you trapped sunshine in there?我现在通知你们 I'm just letting you know now,你们死了之后我绝对不会管他的 I'm not taking care of him when you guys die.别说了这样做很可爱的 Stop. It's sweet.还热热的好吧 Still feels hot.刚看车那家伙来电话了 Hey! It's that guy who came by earlier.貌似很想买 He was really interested.他叫啥来着快告诉我 What was his name? Shoot!做销售千万不能忘记客户姓名 Well, you can't be in sales and not remember people's names.所以我用"迷你联想"来帮助记忆 That's why I like to use what they call "minimonic" devices.这是帮助记忆的小诀窍 They're little tricks to help you remember.就像那天我认识了个家伙叫卡尔 Um, like the other day, I met this guy named Carl. 现在我或许忘了他的名字 Now, I might forget that name,但我记得她穿着一件Grateful Dead的汗衫 But he was wearing a Grateful Dead T-shirt.有什么乐队像Grateful Dead What's a band like the Grateful Dead?Phish 鱼生活在哪里 Phish. Where do fish live?Phish[同为美国摇滚乐队] [跟"鱼"读音相近]海洋 The ocean.什么东西生长在海洋 What else lives in the ocean?珊瑚 Coral.你好卡罗 Hello, "Coral".我记得这是"助记口诀" I think it's "mnemonic".啊…我觉得我没记错 I... I think I'd remember.行吧 Okay.老爸你一定行的 You can do it, dad.好吧 Okay.他看起来像是个外国鼓手 He looked like the drummer from foreigner.这个外国人来自法国 Now, foreigner's from France.法国和蚂蚁押韵[英文单词读音] France rhymes with "ants."蚂蚁破坏了野餐 Ants ruin a picnic.哈啰 Nick[和野餐后缀音同] What's up, Nick?是吗 Really?真的吗 Really?那太好了 Well, that's great.随时欢迎我们一整天都在 Yeah, no, swing by anytime. We're here all day.谢谢 Thanks.你猜怎么着 Guess what?谁说哥卖不出去 You said I couldn't sell this?你自打嘴巴了吧 Well, you're gonna be eating a humble pie.高兴不起来了吧真对不住了嘿 Stuffed with crow and a big side of sorry,我给它卖了 'cause I just did.当你的面卖出去了叫你老否定咱爷们 In your face, girl with the negative tattoo! 亲爱的 Honey...等等 Wait.不 No!有人输不起了 Whoa. Someone doesn't like to lose.宝贝 Honey.宝贝儿 Honey!对不起 I'm sorry.对不起 I'm sorry.今早一睁眼我还很烦那辆车 When I woke up this morning, I hated that car,就连想起它都让我抓狂 and even thinking about it made me mad.但是我们一起经历了这么多 But then when we were going through it,还有那个可爱的小毯毯… and blankety...所有这一切我只是 all that stuff... I just...一想到那些美丽的日子就这样随车而逝了 The thought of that whole part of our life driving away...我们可以留着小毯毯嘛 We can keep blankety.但我不想... I don't want...看看他们 Look at them.好像昨天他们还都只是小宝宝 Come on. A minute ago, they were babies.今天呢连车都会开了 And now they're driving.然后我们也不久于人世了 And soon we'll all be dead.打住你咋能忽略掉死前的美好时光呢 Whoa! You're leaving out a few great minutes there.退休啊颐养天年啊 Retirement, old age...超级酷的爬楼梯自动椅子啊 Cool chair that goes up the stairs.是啊对不起 Yeah. I'm sorry.我不该胡思乱想 I'm... being ridiculous.不用道歉我就喜欢你充满着人情味 Don't apologize. I love you when you're human. 听着 Listen.听我说 Hey! listen!车不卖了 We don't have to sell the car.亲爱的当然要卖 Oh, sweetie, of course we do.没理由要留着它 It doesn't make any sense to keep it.那我该怎么做才能让你感觉好点 Well, what can I do to make you feel better?什么也不用做 Nothing.除非你给我造一台时光机 Unless you can build me a time machine.亲爱的 Honey...除非有人能想办法 Until someone can figure out how to keep a wormhole阻止虫洞的倒塌 from collapsing in on itself.否则就是痴人说梦 That's just a pipe dream.是啊 Sure.菲尔想都别想菲尔 Phil! come on back, phil.我找到了... Well, I found the...我找到了射钉枪 I found the nail gun.噢太好了 Oh. Yay.奇怪的是它给裹在一条旧毛巾里 The weirdest thing... it was wrapped in an old towel 塞在盒子里在壁橱最顶上 stuffed in a box on the top shelf of the closet.赶紧把它放在柜台上 Well, just set it down on the counter.小心 Heads up!老爸你来这干嘛 Oh, dad, what are you doing here?我只是来还歌洛莉亚借的电锅 I'm, uh, just, uh, returning that crockpot that Gloria borrowed.我都忘了这码事了杰 Oh, yeah, I forgot you had that crockpot, Jay.我们正准备给莉莉建造一座公主城堡 Well, we're just getting ready to build Lily a princess castle如果你... if you...-想帮忙 -当然没问题 - Want to help? - Yeah, sure.只要你不介意的话米奇尔 Oh. Well, if it's okay with you, Mitchell.好啊我没问题老爸 Oh, yeah! oh, no, dad.还记得当初我们一起做书架的时候吗 Oh, remember how much fun we had多美好的回忆呀 when we built that bookshelf together?那简直就像打了场越战 That was my vietnam.我确实参加过越战 And I was in vietnam.看看我们哦 Oh! Look at us!我们就是工匠三兄弟 Three construction dudes!老爸我去给你拿几副专用手套 Dad, I'm gonna get you some workman gloves.我有蓝色的和驼色的 I have a blue and camel.你喜欢哪个颜色的 What's your preference?你懂的 Surprise me.如果我们把东西都整理到同一个笔记本上 Wouldn't it be easier那不就轻松多了 if we had all our stuff in the same notebook?你这么觉得 You think?这样我们就省的总是来回翻了 I mean, we're always going back and forth.我把我的笔记夹到你的本子上 I'll just put my things in your notebook.好的 okay.谁想喝巧克力奶呀 Who wants chocolate milk?我要妈妈 Sure, mom.-进度如何呀 -好极了 - So how is it going? - Great!凯莉在把她的笔记 Kelly's moving her stuff都搬到我的本子上 into my notebook.速度还真快啊 This is sudden.应该的 It just felt right.你应该这样 Oh, you know what you should do?在巧克力奶里放一撮盐 Put a pinch of salt in the chocolate milk.提味得多 It really brings out the flavor.吃爆米花才用盐呢 Salt is for the popcorn.听起来对味 That sounds good.你不会喜欢的 You wouldn't like it.也许我们该让曼尼自己决定 Maybe we should let Manny decide.好滴 Okay.给你盐 Here's the salt.我们看他选哪个 We'll see what he likes.天啊 Wow!好喝翻了 That's really good!妈妈你试试 Try it, mom!老娘对这无爱 I don't care for it.其实很好喝 It was delicious.终于把莉莉哄睡了 I finally got Lily down for a nap.米奇尔在哪里 Where is Mitchell?怎么能没人看着他呢 He's not supposed to be unsupervised!没事 Don't worry.我让他去车库给塔顶插旗子 I got him in the garage putting flags on the spires.哦那就好 Okay, perfect.这样最好省的有人受伤了 It's better that way. Nobody gets hurt.插旗子这事儿也省了 We don't have to put flags on the spires.是啊 Yeah.好了我们来盖上屋顶 All right, let's get this roof on.应该咔嚓就扣上了 It's supposed to snap right into place.嘿 Hey!你干的怎么样了电锯哥[电锯惊魂里的杀人狂] Whatcha got going on over there, Jigsaw? 我觉得我得从吊桥开工 Well, I thought that I would get started屋顶就归你们了所以... on the, uh, drawbridge while you guys worked on the roof, so...你的旗子都插好了吗 You all done with the flags?!当然 Yeah!十五分钟就搞定了 Yeah, it took me like 15 minutes.哪里像你说的那么麻烦 It was a lot easier than you made it out to be.杰怎么办 Do something, Jay.米奇 Uh, Mitch?!干嘛 Yeah.你去弄点三明治吧 How about you make us some sandwiches?不成不成我们还没完工呢 No. No, we're in the middle of this.不是杰的意思是说 No, I think what Jay's saying is,你为什么不挑点螺栓来 why don't you go sort some bolts?不用我已经挑好了 No, I sorted the bolts.-全部吗 -一共就六个 - All of 'em? - There were six.你们俩不对劲啊 W... what's going on with you two?难道是想把我甩开不成 Are you... are you trying to get rid of me?呃米奇 Uh..., Mitch.天你们真是闲我碍事 Oh, my god. You are.你们居然狼狈为奸 You're... you're, like, in cahoots.米奇尔你一碰工具我就害怕 Mitchell, I get scared, when you're around tools, 亲爱的这太危险了 Honey, it's dangerous...对你对我 For me, for you,对我们的花花都是威胁 for... our roses.孩子他说得对 Works better this way, kid.我是指顺利建好城堡 I mean, castle goes right up,没人给一切两半 Nobody gets sliced in half.你们也太小看人了吧我可是… Do you know how insulting this is? I was...我可是在歌鸟夏季剧院实习过的 I was an intern at the songbird summer playhouse. 你们以为南海仙境那出戏 Do you think that the town of Brigadoon就嗖一下变出来了吗 just magically appeared?当然戏里看着是这么回事但是那个布景 Well, in the play, it did, but...the set... 那个布景是我用这双手搭的 the set was built with these two hands!米奇尔米奇尔 Mitchell. Mitchell...还有范特普庄园艾维塔的阳台 The Von Trapp mansion, Evita's balcony...算了算了 Okay. Okay.你这是要去哪 Oh, where are you going?我要暴走了 I'm going on a walk,哈没错我还能自己走 and, oh, yeah, I can still do that by myself.看着嘿哦好害怕会摔倒哦 Watch. Oh, I hope I don't get hurt.哦妈呀谁这么缺德放个门柱在这儿 Oh, god, who put that doorjamb there?害我没看见 I didn't see it.直接撞上去了 I ran right into it.哎呀糟糕绊着了走路好难的说 Oh, no, I tripped! Walking is so hard!刚才那下可不像是故意的 That one didn't look like it was on purpose.就是故意的 It was!还有几步路 Just a few more steps.对不起! Oh, sorry!有台阶有台阶对不起 Step! Step! Sorry!-菲尔 -对不起对不起 - Phil?! - Sorry, sorry.这一跤绝对值 It's gonna be worth it.绝对不值 No, it's not.别听她瞎说 Don't listen to her.开... And...-嗷嗷嗷 -对不起不要乱动 - Ow. Ow. Ow! - Sorry. Don't struggle.不要乱动 Stop struggling.好惊喜啊我们的车 Great. It's our car.不只是车哦孩子们 Not a car. Kids?"时" 什么 "ti... " what?今天晚上克莱尔·邓菲我们把时钟拨回 Tonight, Claire Dunphy, we are turning back the clock那纯真年代... to a simpler time...当年那个咱一家挤在旅行车里 when families piled into their station wagons,捎上一些汉堡 picked up some burgers,去郊外野餐的日子 and went on a picnic up to granger point.亲爱的没必要吧 Honey, we don't have to do this.她说得对 Listen to her.不啊会很好玩的我跟那个 No, it's gonna be great. I talked to...法国蚂蚁野餐%￥%@&*... France, ants, picnic...尼克说了他明天才来取车 Nick, and he's not picking up the car till tomorrow.我们还能来一次家庭大聚会 We have one more night of family fun!能有啥意思 What's gonna be fun about it?谁说不是 Listen to him-啥都有意思 -啥也没意思 - Only everything. - Only nothing.好了小朋友们 Okay, kids, you know what?你们老爹要做好人好事 Your father is trying to do something nice,你们少抱怨点儿多好 so I would appreciate it if you would stop your whining赶紧上车 and just get in the car.屡试不爽 Still does it!啊哈 Oh, my!快点快点进去 Come on, get in, get in!我不得不说他得学会释怀 I'm just saying, the kid's gotta learn to let things go. 这对米奇尔是个敏感话题 Well, this is a touchy subject for Mitchell.他就想体现男子汉的一面就像咱俩 He wants to feel like a regular joe, like you and I.哦不好意思 Oh, pardonnez-moi.比起普通香槟我更倾向于第戎香槟 I prefer the champagne Dijon to the standard yellow.要证明自己是纯爷们方法很多你懂的 You know, there are a few areas that define us as men,比如运动健身还有木工啥的 like sports and construction.米奇尔只是想证明自个是 Mitchell just wants to feel like he's...爷们俱乐部中的一员 part of the man club.你俩不就那地儿认识的 Isn't that where you guys met?我知道你这开玩笑是因为基佬氛围让你不适 I know you're making a joke because you're uncomfortable,我当没听见 so I'll let it slide.我们在性派对上认识的 and we met at an orgy.淡定 Come on.我就觉得那啥太疯狂了仅此而已 I just think it's crazy, that's all.他拿不稳锤子又怎么着 So what if he can't swing a hammer?要看他好的一面啊 Look at all he has done.法律学校出身事业蒸蒸日上还能养家糊口 Law school, great career, providing for his family.未必还不够爷们 That's manly, too, isn't it?传统意义上很不错了 I mean, the classical sense.对是同样我觉得 Well, yes, I mean, I think it also takes a big man辞去音乐老师的工作回家养孩子 to quit his career as a music teacher也是爷们所为 and raise a child.你也很爷们小卡 You're a man, too, Cam.谢谢杰 Thank you, Jay.等等忘了装饰再爷们 Wait. Garnish. We're men...也要讲究啦 not cavemen.我爷爷的爷爷的爷爷 My great-great-grandfather参与过建造布鲁克林大桥 helped build the Brooklyn bridge.我听说在他有生之年里 And I heard that, until the day he died,每每经过大桥一股自豪感便油然而生 every time he passed it, he was filled with such pride.他会说这桥有我一份功劳 He'd say, "there's a little bit of me in that bridge." 我知道自己不手巧 I know that I'm not the handiest guy,但我是男人嘛 but I'm still a man,我只希望能望向自家后院深情道出… and I want to be able to look out into my yard and say...这公主城堡有我一份功劳 "there's a little bit of me in that princess castle."哦不不要啊 Oh, no. No. No, no, no. No.不要啊 No. Oh, no.嘿妈妈 Hey, mom.凯莉的父母马上就要来了 Kelly's parents are on their way.她邀请我和他们一起吃饭看电影 She invited me to go out to dinner and a movie with them. 你批准吗 Is that okay?哦可是... Oh, but...不是说好咱俩去看电影吗 I thought that you and I were going to the movies tonight. 就是希亚·拉博夫演的那个呀 You know, to see that one with Shia Labeouf.我们可以改天晚上去看呀 Well, maybe we can go to the movie another night.怎么了 W... what's wrong?没事啦 Oh, nothing.小心脏好难受 Just my heart.好呀告我去呀 Okay, sue me.我就是一个哥伦比亚妈妈 I am a Colombian mother.我才不会让他犯错误 I'm not gonna let him make a mistake影响我滴一生 that is gonna affect him for the rest of my life!他滴一生 His life!曼尼 Manny,我觉得是时候谈谈凯莉的问题了 I think we should talk about this Kelly girl.她是不是巨好 Isn't she great?我觉得她对我有意思 I think she really likes me.她怎么可能会对你没意思呢当然啦 Why wouldn't she like you, baby? Of course.去吧玩开心呀 Go. Have fun.我决定穿那件酒红色西装 I'm gonna wear my burgundy dinner jacket.穿去吧 Of course you are.我觉得应该先道歉 I say we apologize然后按照他的意思一起把城堡修好 and just finish the castle together like he wanted. -你有把射钉枪藏好吧 -必须的 - Did you hide the nail gun? - Absolutely.问题是上回你也这么说来着 'cause, I mean, you said that before.不是我... No, I...哦天啊已经盖好了 Oh, my gosh. It's finished.什么情况米奇尔干的吗 What the hell? Mitchell did that?对啊对啊就是米奇尔干的 Yes. Yes, Mitchell did it.傻眼了吧贱人们 Who's the bitch now, bitches?亲爱的真漂亮 Honey, it looks beautiful!当然啦你们两个在里面 Well, yeah, because when you two were inside搞家家酒的时候我一人在这里 enjoying your little tea party, I was out here... 辛苦干活 out here getting stuff done.我错了 I'm sorry.我们不该小看你 We shouldn't have underestimated you.看出来他被困在里面了吧 You know he's stuck in there, right?太明显了 Oh, yeah.嘿儿子我和小卡要去喝点冰啤酒 Uh, hey, kid, Cam and I are gonna go crack a couple cold ones.你要不要一起啊 You want to join us?不用了 No, no, you know what?我就留下把剩下的活做完 I'm just gonna stay here and get some stuff done,你们两位小姐进去喝点淡啤吧 but you... you two ladies enjoy your light beers.你怎么知道我们要喝淡啤 How do you know we're having light beers?家里只有淡啤 We only have light beers.听着 So, well, listen.-锤子在这里 -放这儿干嘛我又不用 - Here is a hammer. - I don't need it. I don't need it, though.-这个是螺丝刀 -我又用不着 - And this is a screwdriver. - But I'm not gonna use it.你想喝酒就进来 And you just come on in whenever you want to.马上就…来 I'll be in at... yeah.你确定不用把他弄出来 You sure we shouldn't get him out of there?不用否则他永远不会原谅我们的 No. He would never forgive us.你儿子自尊心强着呢 He's a very proud man, your son.鸟鸟 Bird! Bird!有鸟天啊啊啊 Bird! ah, oh, my god! oh, my god!我现在可自豪的很啊 Yeah, I'm pretty proud of myself right now.我的妈呀 Ohh! oh, my god!淡定 Calm down.卢克宝贝慢点吃 Luke, honey, slow down.没人跟你抢 No one's gonna take your food away.这地方变化可真大啊 Wow, this place has really changed.光阴荏苒啊 Time marches on, huh?看到下面那家星巴克了吗 See that Starbucks down there?你们知道那儿原来是什么吗 You know what that used to be?橘子园吗 An orange grove?不对是汉堡王 No, a Burger King.还能看到当时的建筑风格 You can still see some of the architecture.谢谢你做这些 Thank you... for this.我真的感觉好多了 I really do feel better already.克莱尔美丽的日子一直都在 You can go home again, Claire.亲爱的 Oh, sweetie.我胃疼 My stomach hurts.卢克宝贝叫你别吃那么快 Luke, honey, I told you not to eat so fast. 坐回去休息一下就没事的 Just sit back, relax. You're gonna be fine.-有蜘蛛 -海莉 - Ew! Spider! - Haley!-海莉 -海莉宝贝 -Haley! - Haley, honey,你踩住你爸的安全带了 you're standing on the back of daddy's seatbelt! 偶滴神啊又能呼吸了 Oh, soft cheeses, I can breathe again.等等蜘蛛到哪儿去了 Wait. Where'd the spider go?我得透透气 I really need some air.好吧艾丽克斯把车窗摇下来 Okay, Alex, lower your window.我摇不动它卡住了 I can't. It's stuck.我把这事给忘了 I forgot about that.不准吐我身上 Don't you throw up on me.别把他推给我 Ohh. Don't point him at me!在这儿我把这个打开…海莉 Here, I'll turn on the... Haley!!亲爱的我想这应该是暖气 Oh! Oh, honey, I think that's the heat.喷我嘴里了 It's in my mouth.我要吐了 It's happening!好吧拿个袋子 okay, grab a bag!晕这袋子一股洋葱味 Oh, gosh, it smells like onions!我的安全带卡住了 My seatbelt's stuck!我来帮你 I'll help you.天啊 oh, my god!蜘蛛 Spider!海莉 Haley!!天啊他要吐了妈 Oh, god, he's gonna blow, mom!我要小桶桶 I need buckety!好吧所有人都下车 Okay, everybody get out of the car!我们这边的门打不开 Our doors don't open!交给我们 We got ya.慢则稳稳则快 Slow is smooth, and smooth is fast!出来出来 Get out, get out.邓菲家的慢则稳稳则快 Slow is smooth, and smooth is fast, Dunphys!轻且慢 Nice and easy!慢则稳稳则快 Slow is smooth, and smooth is fast.别看他 Don't look at him!小心恶心到 He's just gonna make you feel sick!我看到了我看到了我看到了 Oh, I looked, I looked, I looked.天啊 Oh, god.你们看车! Guys, the car!-交给我 -天啊 - I got it! - Oh, my god.我的天啊不要 Oh, my god... no!不 Oh, no.不 Oh, no.你搞什么飞机啊菲尔 What's the plan, Phil?!好歹我有努力啊 At least I'm trying to do something!爸爸快下来 Dad, get off!算了吧菲尔 Come on, Phil!让它去吧放手吧 Let it go! Let it go!我的天啊亲爱的松手吧 Oh, my god! Honey, let it go! Honey!停下停下 Stop, stop, stop.不不要啊... Oh, no! That's not...没事的 It's all right.我还是… I'm just...还是实际点吧 I'm just being realistic,看来我们得吐血甩卖了 but we're gonna need to lower the asking price.嗨宝贝 Hi, papi.你这么快就回来了 You're here so soon.我决定不去看电影了 I decided to skip the movie.你还好吗 Are you okay?还行 Yeah.凯莉不喜欢我的西装 Kelly didn't like my jacket.而且她居然替我点菜 Plus, she ordered for me.那她至少让你听了今日特色菜吧 Mm, did she let you hear the specials, at least?没有我不想和不懂我的人在一起 No. I don't want to be with someone who doesn't get me.咱还有反式脂肪吗 Do we have any trans fats left?当然啦 Of course.况且我还是更想和另一个女孩在一起 Besides, I think there's a girl I'd rather spend。

“stupid” is not following your heart and take a chance on love .Love is just around the corner.You just need to find your inner beauty , which is hiding beneath a mask of insecurity.Can people change ? i don’t know. People are who they are,give or take 15per cent.that’s how much people can change if they really want to . Whether it’s for themselves or for the people we love,yeah ,15per cent . you know what sometimes that’s just enough.Everybody is afraid of something,right? Those are things you get over. Those are things you get over,but then there’s our children. Will they fit in ,will they be safe? Those are fears you never get past. So sometimes all you can do is take a deep breath and pull them close and hope for the best. I mean,things don’t always work out.,but you gotta love it when they do.What doesn’t kill us makes you stronger.This is the funny thing about growing up. For years and years, everybody’s desparately afraid to be different. In any way. And then ,suddenly, almost overnight,everybody wants to be different. And that is where we win,Nobody loves change,but part of life is learning to let things go.In Columbia we kiss for everything. Because a kiss can mean so many different things. It can be a startle of something new,it can be how we say “this is the person i love”,it can be romatic,it can also be worth waiting for.There is nothing mystical about an erarthquake, pressure builds,and it’s released. And you just hope there’s not too much damage. But is makes you realize what is important for you。

以美剧摩登家庭第一二季为例-文档资料以美剧摩登家庭第一二季为例一、《摩登家庭》背景简介随着社会、经济的不断发展与两极分化程度进一步加深，美国的传统家庭模式正经受着前所未有的变化，人们也在接收和认可各种新型家庭。

《摩登家庭》Modern Fa mily――家庭情景喜剧应运而生。

在《摩登家庭》拍摄中，导演放弃了如美剧《老友记》《生活大爆炸》罐装笑声的传统喜剧做法，遵循了纪实风格的拍摄模式。

该剧被《时代》杂志评为“年度最受欢迎家庭喜剧”（Poniewozick，2009），受到了极广泛的好评与关注。

“Modern Family”中的“Modern”可以理解为“现代”、“新潮”。

这里面的新潮，主要指他们的家庭模式新潮，摩登家庭试图涵盖现今美国社会所有可能的家庭结构：传统的异性恋家庭、新型的同性恋家庭、老少配家庭、再婚家庭、以及领养孩子家庭。

不同家庭模式又衍生出了不同的思想观念、生活方式。

在新潮与保守、摩登与传统之间，肯定会碰撞出戏剧化的火花。

二、《摩登家庭》展现的家庭教育文化1.个体的独立性、自信心美国父母较为注重在孩子很小时就培养其未来独立的品格。

如第一季第十一集当中，米切尔和伴侣卡梅伦的同性恋家庭，米切尔让他们从越南领养的几周岁的孩子莉莉晚上离开他们独自睡在自己的房间里，只要不是饥饿、疾病等原因，任凭孩子夜晚啼哭。

米切尔：出去。

（Out）卡梅伦：我还以为你在床上。

（I thought you were…）米切尔：那是枕头堆的，出去，快出去。

（Those were pillows. Come on. Come on.）卡梅隆，你意识到你有多气人了吗？（Cameron， do you realize how infuriating this is？）“费伯睡眠法”的精髓就在于让我们家闺女自己入睡，（The whole point of Ferberizing is to teach her to put herself to sleep）你却一直捣乱（and you keep ruining it.）在教育方式上，美国家长的观点是孩子对有兴趣的知识自然会自己努力去学，对孩子的教育采取放手而不放任的方法，生活不以孩子为中心。

the modern family听力原文《摩登家庭》是一部由Christopher Lloyd和Steven Levitan创作的美国情景喜剧，于2009年首播。

该剧以顽皮搞笑的方式描绘了现代化家庭的日常生活，通过模拟摄像头拍摄的方式展现了三个不同家庭的故事。

该剧已经获得了多个艾美奖、金球奖和屏幕演员工会奖，被许多人认为是一个成功的剧集，今天我将为大家介绍《摩登家庭》第一季的前六集的剧情。

第一集：“流逝的幼年”“流逝的幼年”是《摩登家庭》第一季的第一集，它向观众们展示了这三个家庭的基本特点。

这个家庭总共由三个部分组成：菲尔与克莱尔、卡梅伦与米切尔以及杰伊与格洛丽亚。

他们每个人都有不同的性格特点和生活方式。

这一集中，菲尔和克莱尔试图给他们的孩子创建了一些特别的回忆，但他们的计划很快变得混乱。

卡梅伦和米切尔则意外地让自己卷入了一个恶搞行动，杰伊和格洛丽亚继续为养育他们的孩子而努力。

整集剧情分为三个部分交替进行，而三个家庭的成员们在一定程度上又相互联系。

他们相互竞争，但也互相支持。

这集不仅通过幽默搞笑的情节展现了现代化家庭的写照，还带给观众们一些温馨的回忆。

第二集：“15观光巴士”“15观光巴士”是《摩登家庭》第一季的第二集，它为观众们带来了更多的笑声和深入了解这一家庭。

这一集中，空乘人员克莱尔准备为家人准备一顿丰盛的晚餐，但她最终失去了信心。

尽管桌上摆满了食物，但菲尔不幸地患上了食物中毒，而刚刚做好的晚餐只能被扔掉。

卡梅伦和米切尔则要面对旅游车司机的坯子。

卡梅伦试图用自己的宝藏将旅游车司机吸引走，他想给米切尔一个惊喜。

可是他们的计划最终失败，卡梅伦在驾驶旅游车时搞砸了。

杰伊和格洛丽亚也面对了一些挑战，他们得到了一位孩子的临时监护权，但起初他们对照顾孩子感到不知所措。

当米切尔看到他们的困境时，他不得不帮助他们搞定这个问题。

整集剧情中充满了无数精彩的笑料，通过讽刺和夸张的方式，传达了现代家庭中的小矛盾和挫折，让观众们不禁发笑。

《摩登家庭》公布演员阵容海报索菲亚孕味十足
美国当地时间9月26日晚上9点，ABC电视台的热门喜剧《摩登家庭》（Modern Family）第四季就将正式开播，ABC电视台也提前公布了一张包括全体演员在内的宣传海报。

在ABC电视台最近公布的这张海报中，剧中所有演员都出现在一个等候室内，这个等候室的门口写着“家庭疗法”（Family Therapy），每个人都在静静的等待，而索菲亚·维加拉（Sofia Vergara）饰演的格洛丽亚（Gloria）则已经大腹便便孕味十足。

在第三季结尾的时候，格洛丽亚宣布了自己怀孕的消息，而从她的身型来看，现在的时间点距离第三季结尾显然已经过了几个月。

#美剧##电视剧#。

爱乐活电视剧。

家庭成员
最新海报
海边
爱乐活——有态度、正能量的品质生活社区。

热爱生活，乐于分享的各类达人聚在这里，分享消费攻略，激发生活灵感，发现城市最IN 的角落。

在这里，有爱，有乐，有生活。

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