[00:00.41]晚上好啊阿婆们 姑娘之夜在外小聚啊 Evening, ladies. Gals' night out?
[00:02.84]吃着派 聊着帅哥 真欢乐啊 Chasing guys, eating pie,having fun.
[00:05.45]这桌子粘乎乎的 快那破抹布擦擦吧 This table is sticky!Run a damp rag across it!
[00:10.57]把这收拾干净能死啊 Would it kill you to clean a little?
[00:12.12]你们这到底是啥地方啊 What kinda place is this?
[00:13.69]这里的汤都是冷的 The kind that serves soup cold.
[00:16.15]还有 你那夸张的耳环是咋回事儿 And what's with your crazy earrings?
[00:18.15]难不成你是吉普赛人 What are you, some kinda gypsy?
[00:20.06]喔 淡定啊 阿婆们 Whoa! Hold up, ladies.
[00:22.36]人老不是犯贱的理由啊 You don't get a bitch pass just 'cause you're old.
[00:26.90]对 你们没听错 我就是说了 Yes, that's right.I said it.
[00:29.80]你们进来吃饭 还一副黑社会老大的态度 You come in here with your gangster granny attitude,
[00:32.07]想把怒火都发泄在 think you can get away
[00:33.80]我这个吉卜赛服务员身上 with dumping all over the lowly gypsy waitress.
[00:35.97]没门 在我们餐厅 没歧视你们老已经不错了 No way. At this diner, we don't discriminate due to age.
[00:39.21]如果你么非这么混蛋下去 If you're gonna act like an ass,
[00:40.71]我也要像对待混蛋一样对待你们 I'm gonna treat you like an ass...
[00:43.21]等会你们的屁股摔得多痛可不管我事了 （ass的两个意思 大家自己体会 此处意译） No matter how close that ass is riding to the floor.
[00:48.58]好了 现在我再把桌子擦一下 然后我们从头开始 Now, I'll wipe off the table we'll take it from the top.
[00:53.05]嗨 我是服务员Max 你们想来点木薯粉吗 Hi, I'm Max. Who wants tapioca?
[00:57.96]这才像样嘛 That's more like it.
[00:59.73]把你们的不爽都发泄到孙子孙女身上吧 Save the disappointment for the grandkids.
[01:14.00]Earl 我需要另一本支票本 Earl, I need another book of checks.
[01:16.14]刚才的一本掉在冰箱和烤箱的夹缝里了 The last one fell between the refrigerator and the oven.
[01:18.38]当我正要去拿的时候我被夹在 I'd reach for it,but that falls between
[01:20.11]“我不想拿”和“擦 我才不拿”的矛盾里了 "I don't do that"and "Oh, hell no."
[01:23.44]Max 快看那边 穿西装的男女 Look overthere, Max.Men and women in suits.
[01:27.23]我们的社区真是蒸蒸日上啊 This neighborhood is definitely on the rise.
[01:29.42]我还记得我看到一个黑人 I remember a time when a black man
[01:31.05]不能叫出租车 couldn't get a cab around here.
[01:32.72]那件事就发生在这周三 And that time was Wednesday.
[01:35.77]Max 我刚和2号桌那对聪明的夫妇聊天了 Max, I was just talking to the smart couples in booth two.
[01:38.87]他们是第一个在这里把croque monsie
ur I know they're smart because they're the first people in here
[01:41.08]正确发音的人 who ever ordered the croque monsieur
[01:42.61]他们一定是聪明人 as croque monsieur and not "crock monster."
[01:48.38]他们想见见做蛋糕的人 They wanna meet the woman who made the cupcakes.
[01:50.10]我跟他们说你马上就过去 I told them you'd be right over.
[01:51.60]-去吧 他们多好啊 -不 他们一点也不好 - Go! They're so nice.- No, they're not nice.
[01:54.04]他们是时髦的吸血虫 They're trendy, blood-sucking locusts
[01:56.16]专门到这个社区里来掠夺 摧毁一切 who come into this neighborhood to pillage and destroy
[01:58.41]我所关心的东西 everything I care about.
[01:59.55]深有同感 I felt the same way when the Hilton sisters
[02:01.78]当年希尔顿姐妹就是这么毁了我的21岁生日 crashed my 21st birthday.
[02:04.22]啥事儿 What?
[02:07.55]这些蛋糕是你做的吗 You made these cupcakes?
[02:09.42]是的 有啥问题 快说吧 姐忙着呢 Yeah, what's the problem? Spit it out, I've got a life.
[02:12.76]我们就是想告诉你 你的蛋糕实在是 We just wanted to tell you that your flavor palate is...
[02:15.76]太好吃了 amazing.
[02:17.30]我不知道你是谁 也不知道你从哪里来 I don't know who you are or where you came from--
[02:19.57]我自己都不清楚 Neither do I.
[02:21.60]但是这些蛋糕真是完美 But these are fabulous.
[02:24.35]欢迎你们来我们社区哈 Well, welcome to the neighborhood.
[02:27.24]我就知道我喜欢你们 I knew I liked you guys.
[02:31.16]那些吸血中想干啥 So what did the trendy locusts want?
[02:33.61]你太爱瞎点评了 你知道吗 You are so judgmental, you know that?
[02:36.32]他们告诉我 我的蛋糕太完美了 They wanted to tell me the cupcakes are "fabulous."
[02:39.79]谢谢 Thank you.
[02:40.95]也许从现在开始你终于可以适应 Maybe now you'll finally start to get it
[02:42.46]除我以外的人告诉你这些蛋糕有多美味 if someone besides me tells you how good they are.
[02:44.71]我想那个形容词一定是“完美” I believe the word was "fabulous."
[02:48.09]Max 端菜 Pick up, Max.
[02:49.93]Oleg 以后你要叫我会做完美蛋糕的 Oleg, from now on, you may call me Countess Max
[02:52.50]Max女爵 of the Fabulous Cupcakes.
[02:54.30]你以后要叫我Oleg先生 And you may call me Sir Oleg
[02:55.77]因为我的裤子里也有好东西哦（大家自行体会） of the Amazing Party in My Pants.
[03:03.59]Caroline 那些快乐的西装男女 Caroline, the happy,shiny people in suits
[03:05.81]让我把这张小纸条给你 asked me to give you this note.
[03:07.48]啊 太好了 Oh, what a great idea!
[03:09.48]他们建议我们到他们大厦楼下的咖啡店里 They suggested we sell Max's cupcakes
[03:11.35]销售Max的蛋糕 at the cool new coffee place in their building.
[
03:13.57]可是你们已经在我的餐厅卖蛋糕了啊 But you already sell cupcakes here in my diner.
[03:17.24]Han 我们的蛋糕是一项事业 Han, we're building a cupcake business that will one day
[03:19.69]总有一天我们会离开这里的 get us out of here.
[03:20.99]这就是我们人生的奋斗目标 That's what we're trying to do with our lives.
[03:22.71]但我本以为我们有些特殊的关系呢 But I thought we had something special.
[03:27.20]是 但那不是我们人生中的唯一 Yes, but we're not exclusive.
[03:29.70]这间餐厅很可爱 但我想要获得更多 The diner's cute, but I want more than this.
[03:33.67]嗷 Oof.
[03:35.69]就像被初恋女友又甩了一次 First girlfriend all over again.
[03:39.51]+
[03:42.96]嗨 Johnny Hey, Johnny.
[03:44.16]Max照料墙那边的生意 Max has the tables against the wall.
[03:45.33]我们坐在你这边就行了 Oh, we're good in your section.
[03:46.93]Caroline 见见我的好兄弟Carlos吧 Caroline, I want you to meet my buddy Carlos.
[03:51.45]Hi. 嗨
[03:53.79]我去柜台忙了 Well, I'm working the counter.
[03:56.31]你怎么了老兄 给点力啊 What's happenin'? Come on, dude.
[03:57.87]你可是纽约大学文学专业的高材生啊 You have a literature degree from NYU.
[03:59.56]我不想承认 但是当我紧张的时候 I didn't mean to say that, but when I get nervous,
[04:01.39]我的家乡口音就显露出来了 my Rico Suave comes out.
[04:03.13]我保证绝对不会再发生 It won't happen again.
[04:05.63]菜单给你们 And here's two menus.
[04:07.10]杂~样~啊~亲~ What's happenin'?
[04:10.74]拜托 我真的很紧张 Dude, I'm nervous.
[04:13.69]各位 我负责那一片桌子 Hey, guys, I'm in that section over there.
[04:15.47]我们坐在Caroline这片也挺好的 Oh, we're good in Caroline's area.
[04:17.28]如果你不怕热咖啡洒裤裆上 Well, if you like hot coffee in your pants area,
[04:20.25]you're in the right place. 就放心大胆的坐这儿吧
[04:22.25]其实 我挺喜欢那样的 Actually, I like that.
[04:24.83]等好吧 Coming right at you.
[04:30.17]Johnny坐在你那片儿 Johnny's in your section.
[04:31.49]是啊 为什么 Yeah, why?
[04:32.62]他每天晚上就是为了见你而来的 He comes in here every night to see you.
[04:34.21]他是你的朋友 也是你的暗恋对象 还可能是随便什么东西 He's your friends or...crush or whatever he is.
[04:36.10]他才不是我的暗恋对象呢 他只是 Shh! He's not a crush. He's a...
[04:38.83]我不知道他是啥 但无论怎样 I don't know what he is, but whatever he is,
[04:40.13]他今天坐在你那片了 he's in your section.
[04:46.00]- Max - 噢 你怎么来了 - Max! - Ooh! What are you doing?
[04:47.89]你不能进来的 You're not supposed to be in here.
[04:49.11]我知道 谁让我是个坏男孩呢 I know, I'm a bad boy.
[04:52.81]听着 今天我没有
坐在你那一片 Look, the reason I'm not sitting in your section
[04:54.86]是因为我朋友Carlos特别喜欢Caroline is because my buddy Carlos is crushing pretty hard on Caroline
[04:57.78]他让我去给他俩牵线 and he asked me to do what I can to hook them up.
[04:59.62]噢 所以现在你既是个管吧台的 Oh. So now you're a bartender,
[05:01.99]还是个街头艺术家 更是个拉皮条的 a street artist, and a pimp.
[05:03.86]Ain't nuttin' wrong with me pimpin' some boy on the side.
[05:06.54]Keeps me in spray paint and whatnot.
[05:08.99]So?
[05:10.55]From pimp to pimp...
[05:14.20]帮忙跟Caroline说说吧 Help me out with your girl.
[05:15.72]我的姑娘才不会这么廉价呢 My girl don't come cheap.
[05:20.94]这里面还真热啊 [Nervous giggle] Is it hot in here?
[05:26.03]是啊 而且咱们还是在一个冰库里 Yes, and we're in a freezer.
[05:28.26]这是我的冰库 Yes. My freezer.
[05:31.05]呃 我就是想和Max说几句话 I was, uh, just talking to Max.
[05:33.89]外面见 Um, I'll see you out there.
[05:40.94]这就是你喜欢的男人类型吗 So is this what you like in the men?
[05:45.11]才不是呢 他只是个有耍流氓的顾客 No. He's just a customer that went rogue.
[05:48.17]他看起来又弱又娘 He is weak and girlish.
[05:51.24]像你这样的女人 需要一个真汉子的陪伴 A woman like you needs a real man.
[05:53.79]常言道啊 You know what they say.
[05:55.01]只要你去过一趟乌克兰 你就会知道爱爱也是会很痛的 （大家意会吧……翻不出来） Once you go Ukraine, you will scream with sex pain.
[06:03.30]把这句“常言”翻译成英语 还真让人提不起性致 That probably lost some of its sensual appeal
[06:05.97]不过还是谢谢你的提议 in the translation, but thanks for the offer, Oleg.
[06:11.77]他很可爱，但不是我喜欢的型 Cute, but I'm not interested.Besides, he's not my type.
[06:15.36]你就直说吧 Just say it.
[06:16.81]你对他不感兴趣 因为他是波多黎各人 You're not interested in him because he's Puerto Rican.
[06:19.23]你怎么会这么想 Where did you get this idea
[06:20.57]谁说我只和白人约会啊 that I would only date white guys?
[06:22.07]提醒一下你 我可是和很多种男人约会过的 For your information, I'vedated all kinds of men.
[06:25.20]我曾经在蒙特卡洛和一个西班牙人约会过 I once had a Spaniard in Monte Carlo.
[06:28.19]那不是ABBA组合的一首歌么 Isn't the title of an Abba song?
[06:30.88]你真的不想和他约会吗 他挺可爱的 Are you sure about this? He's cute.
[06:33.96]看遍了白人帅哥 也来一点异国风情尝尝鲜嘛 And trust me, you could use a little salsa in your white rice.
[06:37.95]Max 我刚刚变得一贫如洗 Max, I just lost every dollar I had.
[06:40.09]我现在对男人没想法 The last thing on my mind right now is guys--
[06:42.47]
无论什么类型的男人 any type of guy.
[06:44.64]除了这个小帅哥 Except this guy.
[06:46.51]嗨 小栗子 Hi, Chestnut.
[06:48.31]我现在更专注于我们的事业 I'm much more concerned with our business
[06:51.01]and getting my head back above water.
[06:52.81]男人早晚都会有的 Men will come sooner or later.
[06:54.65]根据我的研究 男人总是“来”的很快 Well, according to my research most men come sooner.
[06:59.57]我觉得我们明天应该到那家咖啡店去 Oh, I thought we should stop by
[07:00.82]向他们毛遂自荐 that new coffee place tomorrow and introduce ourselves
[07:02.61]还有推荐我们的蛋糕 and your cupcakes.
[07:04.11]我才不要就这样走进去 我感觉我在“卖”自己 I'm not gonna walk in there.I feel like I'm selling out.
[07:06.58]我们得改改“卖”这个词 Okay, let's reframe the phrase selling out
[07:09.75]应该是“卖出” and make it sold out,
[07:11.45]比如 Max 我们把蛋糕全卖出去了 as in "Max, we sold out of the cupcakes"
[07:13.62]我们终于成功了 and are now successful."
[07:15.25]
[00:00.00]
[07:16.62]I can now afford to buy the wax dental floss again?
[07:19.51]Fine.
[07:21.51]我这么做就是为了让你先把我们的事业忘掉一会 But I'm only doing it so you'll eventually get your mind
[07:23.50]然后找个男人欢乐一把 off the business and get laid.
[07:24.96]你怎么就觉得我这么需要爱爱呢 Why do you think I need to get laid so badly?
[07:27.10]如果我也和你一样 If I'd just gone through all the tension and trauma
[07:29.64]经历这么多的创伤 that just happened to you,
[07:31.27]I'd be climbing telephone polls to take the edge off. 我都愿意“爬”电线杆来减压
[07:33.22]信我一句吧 我现在想的最少的就是爱爱 Trust me, sex is the last thing on my mind right now.
[07:36.69]还有 说到改变 Oh, and speaking of reframing things,
[07:39.11]我给你准备了个惊喜 I have a surprise.
[07:40.70]我把我的屋子重新装饰了一翻 I redecorated my room.
[07:42.20]I scoped out some cheap fabric in bedding places 我在Houston 大街的布匹店里
[07:44.65]down on Houston Street. 仔细的选购了这些廉价布料
[07:46.57]What do you think? 看看怎么样
[07:50.46]I think you've made a vagina. 我觉得你把床整成了阴道形
[07:56.33]What? 啥
[07:57.58]Sister, you may think that sex is the last thing 姐们 也许你觉得爱爱是你最不关心的事
[08:01.13]但是你把你的床装饰的像个阴道 on your mind, but you turned your bed into a vagina.
[08:06.09]难道你觉得我的阴道还有帘子吗 Do you think my vagina has curtains?
[08:07.76]我可不知道那有多“长”（邪恶的Max 啊……） I don't know how long it's been.
[08:11.68]我累坏了 我要去睡了 I'm tired. I'm going to bed.
[08:13.51]去吧 我还要做一些蛋糕 Okay, but I s
till have to make the cupcakes
[08:14.71]明天好拿到咖啡店去 to bring by that place tomorrow.
[08:16.18]我不想打扰你 I don't wanna keep you awake
[08:17.55]要不你就睡我屋里的床吧 so why don't you sleep in my bed tonight
[08:18.90]然后我今晚睡你的床 and I'll pass out on your vagina?
[08:20.60]好 但明早你可得给我买早餐 Okay, but you better buy me breakfast in the morning.
[08:29.56]我喜欢这儿 就像20年代的巴黎 I love this place. Looks like Paris in the '20s.
[08:33.18]这些人更像一帮20多岁装模作样的年轻人 More like poseurs in their 20s.
[08:36.45]呦 这地方还真被打扫过 Man, they've really cleaned this place up.
[08:38.42]你以前来过这儿吗 You've been here before?
[08:40.12]来过 这以前是卖酒的 Yeah, it used to be a liquor store
[08:41.46]老板是个爱尔兰老男人 owned by this old Irish guy
[08:42.62]他的老二上都有老年斑了 who had freckles on his penis.
[08:45.21]有时候他把你逼到角落 然后露出来给你看 Sometimes he'd corner you and flash it,
[08:47.08]但随后他都会给你一杯免费拿铁做补偿 but then he'd always comp you a free lotto ticket.
[08:49.75]好 请你一定不要 Okay, well, let's try and keep
[08:51.05]在我们销售的过程中 that sort of charming nostalgia
[08:52.58]把那些“美好”往事给抖露出来 out of our sales pitch.
[08:54.30]看 店主 Oh, that's the owner.
[08:56.27]我仔细的观察过她了 I scoped it out before you got here.
[08:57.77]记住 所有话都由我来说 And remember, I'll do the talking.
[08:59.86]为啥我就不能开口呢 Why don't I get to talk?
[09:01.03]说雀斑老二吗 Freckled penis.
[09:03.73]还有 我经验比你丰富 And besides, I have more experience.
[09:05.06]所有作为PEE俱乐部的成员 All those who pitched business models to Warren Buffett
[09:07.12]在巴菲特那工作过的 as a member of the Phillips Exeter Entrepreneurs Club
[09:09.10]和姐击掌庆祝下 raise their hands. Holla!
[09:11.94]好吧 如果这件事儿真的值得击掌庆贺 Well, if you care enough to raise your arms about it,
[09:14.27]还是你来说吧 我什么都不说 fine. You talk. I won't say anything.
[09:17.29]嗨 想要什么 Hi, what can I get for you?
[09:20.25]嗨 我是Caroline 这是我的合作伙伴Max Hi, I'm Caroline and this is my business partner Max.
[09:23.45]- 你的名字是 - semhar - And you are? - Semhar.
[09:25.25]- 我的神啊 - 多好听的名字啊 - Oh, jeez. - Such a pretty name.
[09:27.80]在梵文中 它是老虎之光的意思 It means "light of the tiger" in Sanskrit.
[09:30.59]我了个去 Oh, jeez.
[09:32.17]是我的瑜伽名字 It's my yoga name.
[09:33.79]谁救救我吧 Help me, God.
[09:35.98]Semhar 我们刚刚开始一项蛋糕事业 Well, Semhar, we just opened
[09:37.73]是一家本地公司 a local neighborhood cupcake company.
[09:
39.65]这是我们的卡片 Our card.
[09:40.77]我们正在向附近的面包店 We're introducing our exciting product
[09:42.57]介绍我们的产品 to local boulangeries.
[09:43.82]请尝一下吧 Max快拿过来 Please try a sample. Max.
[09:46.47]你是想要椰奶咖啡味的还是巧克力咖喱味的 Would you like coconut-coffee, chocolate-curry,
[09:48.74]或者是蓝莓柠檬味的 or blueberry-lemon zest?
[09:50.83]我最爱吃椰奶咖啡味的 My absolute fave is the coconut-coffee.
[09:53.11]尝尝这个吧 好吗 Let's start with that, shall we?
[09:54.36]谢谢 不过还是不必了 Thank you, but no thank you.
[09:58.33]我们可以知道为什么吗 Well, can I ask you why?
[10:00.79]它们不够好看 They're not pretty enough.
[10:03.46]拜托 你说啥 Excuse me?
[10:04.92]他们真的不够好看 They're not pretty enough.
[10:07.96]也许你尝一尝 Perhaps if you tried one,
[10:10.13]你就会知道这些蛋糕有多美味 you'd see how amazing our flavor palate is.
[10:12.43]
[00:00.00]
[10:14.60]你说他们不好看是什么意思 What do you mean,they're not pretty enough?
[10:16.22]他们看起来就像家庭烘烤出来的一样可爱 They have a charming homemade look,
[10:19.19]但是这里的消费者想要 but my customer would prefer
[10:20.56]更好看 更上档次的产品 a more upscale, prettier product.
[10:23.02]友情提示 你这家上档次的咖啡店 Just FYI, some upscale residents
[10:25.69]所在的这栋上档次的大厦 in this very upscale building
[10:27.40]有一些上档次的居民最近告诉我们 where your upscale store actually is located
[10:29.20]他们觉得这些蛋糕太完美了 recently told us they were fabulous.
[10:31.18]我明白 I understand.
[10:33.03]但他们实在是不够漂亮 But they're not pretty enough.
[10:35.29]听着 Listen, battlefield earth.
[10:42.41]这里是纽约的布鲁克林 This is Williamsburg, Brooklyn,
[10:45.25]没有什么东西能改变一个事实 and no amount of exposed brick and paint
[10:47.20]就在你所站的地方 can change the fact that,right where you're standing,
[10:50.14]我看见Tommy o'hanlon老二的次数 I've seen Tommy O'Hanlon's wing-wang
[10:52.37]多的我自己都记不清 more times than I care to remember.
[10:54.31]而且我必须说 你的态度比他的老二还要冒犯我 And I must say, it was way less offensive than your attitude.
[10:57.64]你把你那上档次的头发也剃了吧 And you can shove that up your upscale.
[10:59.81]我们走 Let's go.
[11:02.68]合十礼 - Namaste.- Namaste.
[11:07.59]+
[11:11.60]Max 这里怎么空了 What's with the empty hands, Max?
[11:13.12]今晚没有蛋糕吗 No cupcakes tonight?
[11:14.52]没有 蛋糕让我很不爽 我今晚不打算做了 No, they're bugging me. I decided to take the night off.
[11:17.06]小心这样的决定啊 Be careful with decisions like that.
[11:19.18]In 198
7, I took a night off from earth, wind, and fire
[11:22.28]and the next day, they earth, wind, and fired my ass.
[11:29.32]抱歉 我来晚了 Hi. Sorry I'm late.
[11:31.41]在你的阴道床里小憩了一会儿吗 Mid-afternoon nap in your vagina?
[11:33.83]我倒想 I wish! No.
[11:35.69]我去了Greenpoint的一家廉价烘烤用品商店 I went to a cheap bakery supply store in Greenpoint
[11:37.88]给我们买了写东西 and got us some supplies.
[11:39.30]看 Here.
[11:40.55]这是一个基础蛋糕装饰工具 It's the basic cake decorating kit.
[11:42.30]我还给我们找了件好事 And best of all I found us a fun,
[11:44.00]两节蛋糕装饰课 reasonable two-session cupcake decorating class
[11:46.14]在一家面包房 at a bakery.
[11:47.31]我们可以学着做漂亮的小玫瑰花了 We can learn how to make pretty roses.
[11:49.14]没门 No way.
[11:50.34]蛋糕根本不需要那么漂亮 The cupcakes don't need to be pretty.
[11:51.84]幽默感就可以弥补了 They compensate by having a great sense of humor.
[11:54.55]好看的蛋糕只是我们的另一种选择 Pretty cupcakes is just another option for our business.
[11:57.68]人们喜欢漂亮的 我们就做漂亮的 People want pretty, we do pretty.
[11:58.90]人们喜欢家常的 我们就 Or people want homemade, we do--
[12:01.27]-等等 我们的家常自制蛋糕呢 -今晚我们做 - Wait, where is our homemade? - I didn't make any tonight.
[12:04.66]你一个也没做吗 You didn't make any?
[12:06.66]你就因为别人的一点批评 What, you get one piece of constructive criticism
[12:08.94]就不打算做蛋糕了吗 and you stop making them?
[12:11.28]Max 这是我们的事业 Max, it's business.
[12:13.05]而且关于把蛋糕做漂亮 也许Semhar说的有点道理 And maybe Semhar has a point about making them pretty.
[12:15.20]首先 她知道啥是漂亮吗 First of all, what does she know about pretty?
[12:17.29]那女人的长发辫吓死人了 The woman has dreadlocks.
[12:20.57]她的头就像 Her head looks like the stuff
[12:22.41]从吸尘器里倒出来的垃圾似的 you empty out of a vacuum cleaner bag.
[12:23.93]一点也不漂亮 Not pretty.
[12:25.09]忘了她吧 Forget her.
[12:27.43]你怎么了 What's happening with you?
[12:28.76]你对变漂亮有意见么 What's your problem with pretty?
[12:30.42]别做出那个歌唱家的手势 Don't wave your divas live hand at me.
[12:35.22]我就是觉得我们这个社会 I just think society's way too concerned
[12:37.14]太在乎别人想的漂亮了 with other people's idea of what's pretty.
[12:38.97]你是觉得自己做不好 You don't think you can do it.
[12:41.59]这才是事情的原因 That's what this is about.
[12:43.09]并不是因为这个社会 This isn't about society.
[12:44.31]你害怕你不能把蛋糕做漂亮 You're afraid you can't do pretty.
[12:45.73]听着 我就是不想做的
漂亮 Look, I don't do pretty
[12:47.48]就像你不愿意和波多黎各人约会一样 the way you don't do Puerto Ricans.
[12:49.87]你在说什么呢 What are you talking about?
[12:51.65]我愿意“做”他 I'll do Puerto Ricans.
[12:53.49]那好吧 All right.
[12:54.94]去做一个 让我一个人待一会儿 Then go do one and leave me alone.
[12:57.58]Max 这只是一项技能 就这样 Max, it's a skill. That's all.
[13:00.63]不知道怎么做一件事 并不可耻 It's not shameful to not know how to do something.
[13:02.66]难道你没有从小开始学钢琴的经历吗 Didn't you have piano lessons growing up?
[13:05.25]你开玩笑呢吧 Seriously?
[13:07.37]滑冰呢 Ice skating?
[13:09.22]我最接近滑冰的一次 Closest I've come to blades on ice
[13:11.47]有个怀孕的女孩想拿刀捅我 was when a pregnant girl pulled a knife on me
[13:12.92]在一场曲棍球比赛里 at a hockey game.
[13:14.68]听着 我们现在有一项事业 Look, you and I have a business,
[13:16.73]把蛋糕做漂亮就是一项我们需要的技能 and this is a skill we need.
[13:18.60]我们一定要去上课 We're going to that class
[13:20.43]然后成为把蛋糕做好看的大师 and we are gonna master how to make pretty roses.
[13:22.02]我知道你讨厌一切时髦的东西 And I know how much you hate anything trendy,
[13:23.63]所以我找到了布鲁克林一家意大利家庭面包店 so I found us a family-owned Italian bakery in Brooklyn.
[13:26.99]意大利人可好了 Italian's good.
[13:28.69]也许在我把你杀了以后 Maybe they'll know how to dump the body
[13:30.08]他们知道怎么埋尸体 after I kill you.
[13:35.66]首先 欢迎各位来到美美味蛋糕店 First of all, welcome to Spice and Sugar.
[13:39.45]我们在做面包时有一个小小的变化 We did a little twist on the traditional sugar and spice
[13:42.34]先放香料进去 putting spice first because...
[13:44.62]因为我们是意大利人~ Both: We're Italian.
[13:47.34]我们总是先把香料放在最上 And we always got the spice up front
[13:49.04]再把一些放在最下 and a little in the rear.
[13:50.50]给力哦~ Both: Holla!
[13:52.55]想到你以前也说过“给力” 你是不是觉得很尴尬啊 Now are you embarrassed you ever said holla?
[13:55.77]我名字叫Stephanie 这是我的表妹serena My name is Stephanie, and this is my cousin Serena,
[13:58.84]我们家族经营这家面包店很多年了 and this bakery has been in our family for years
[14:01.31]现在我们接手了这家面包店 and then we took it over and made it...
[14:03.64]把它变得更火辣了~ Both: Hot.
[14:07.03]好好好 让我们先各自做一下自我介绍 All right, let's go around and introduce ourselves
[14:08.73]并告诉我们来这里的原因 and tell us why you came tonight.
[14:10.45]先从这个帅小伙开始吧 Let's start with the cute guys.
[14:12.03]必
须的！ Both: always!
[14:14.52]我叫steve 我要办一个单身派对 I'm Steve, I thought this would be
[14:16.02]做蛋糕会是一个好想法 a fun idea for my bachelor party.
[14:17.82]我就要和michale结婚了 就是这位 I'm getting married to Michael...right there.
[14:20.83]真可爱 上帝保佑你 So cute. God bless!
[14:22.58]我是michale And I'm Michael.
[14:23.69]我也叫michale 我也叫michale - I'm Michael as well. - Michael.
[14:27.80]哇 好多michale Oh...So many Michaels.
[14:31.30]你呢 我也叫michale - And you are? - Michael.
[14:34.21]不 我叫max No, I'm Max.
[14:35.34]她真有趣 好可爱 上帝保佑你 Oh, she's funny. So cute, God bless!
[14:38.26]我是Caroline 我是Max的搭档 And I'm Caroline. I'm Max's partner.
[14:40.56]好多基佬拉拉在这里啊 我就知道 - Oh, so many gays tonight. - I know.
[14:43.65]不不 我是她的商业合作伙伴 No, I'm her business partner.
[14:46.02]我们在Williamsburg有自己的蛋糕事业 We actually have our own cupcake business over in Williamsburg,
[14:48.60]我必须说 我们做的还不错 and I must say, we're doing very well.
[14:50.91]Max是烘焙师 我负责销售 Max is the baker and I'm the business head
[14:53.27]今晚我们想提升业务技术 and we're here tonight to increase our skill level
[14:55.19]把我们的事业提升到一个新高度 and take our business up to a level that's...
[14:57.23]和你们这儿一样火辣~ Hot as well.
[15:00.03]如果你要说这么多话 If you're gonna talk that much,
[15:01.40]我们就没时间学习了 no one will have time to learn anything.
[15:04.90]我就知道 I know, right?
[15:06.42]你们的面包店在哪里啊 So, uh, where's your shop?
[15:07.91]现在我们只是在自己的公寓里做蛋糕 Well, right now, we're just working out of our apartment.
[15:10.74]那么说就是没有店咯 还真可爱 - So no shop. - Oh, that's sweet.
[15:12.76]真好玩 祝你们好运 上帝保佑你 - Cute. - Yeah, good luck, God bless.
[15:15.60]你是不是嫉妒了 Can you say jealous?
[15:18.02]好 我们从最简单的开始学 All right, let's start simple
[15:19.43]做简单的冰花 with a pretty little icing flower.
[15:20.64]每个人拿好奶油滚边带 Everybody pick up your piping bags,
[15:22.75]注意要用直的一边 and with a straight-edge tip--
[15:24.39]你们基佬可以用弯的 But you guys can use your gay-edge tip.
[15:27.61]好 每个人跟着学 All right, everybody watch Stephanie.
[15:30.73]把这个固定住 You're gonna take the nail head
[15:31.98]然后做出个U形 and you're gonna make a little "U"
[15:33.15]小花瓣就出来了 so that you get little petals.
[15:34.20]重复五次就行了 And we'll do this five times.
[15:35.48]然后一朵漂亮的五瓣花就诞生了 And then, you have a pretty little five-petal flower.
[15:37.74]真简单 多可爱 太有趣了 - Sim
ple. - So cute. How fun!
[15:41.29]不不 要做成U字型 No, no. You gotta start by making a "U".
[15:43.96]这就是U啊 I did. That's a "U".
[15:45.33]serena 这是U吗 不 这不是 - Serena, is that a "U"? - Not a "U".
[15:50.22]行 我重新做 Fine, I'll start over.
[15:52.40]那明明是U That was a "U".
[15:53.97]难道就因为我没有实体店 And what, just because I don't have a quote-unquote shop
[15:55.84]我就不知道U是啥了么 I don't know a "U"?
[15:57.22]什么态度啊 What's with the attitude?
[15:58.39]得 咱么走吧 All right, let's leave.
[15:59.79]等这些基佬再笑的时候 我们就溜出去 Next time the gays giggle, we'll just slide out.
[16:01.84]不 我们是来学习的 No, we're here to learn.
[16:04.31]这看起来不错 That looks good.
[16:05.80]我烂透了 我要崇左 I suck. I'm starting over.
[16:07.85]Max 你为什么要这样 那明明很好 Max, why'd you do that? It was good.
[16:09.98]还不够好啊 Not good enough.
[16:11.24]你们还没做好吗 You two not done yet?
[16:12.82]你必须学会做小花 You have to master the little flower,
[16:14.99]否则等到学做玫瑰花的时候你就是一团糟了 or when we move on to roses you'll be screwed.
[16:17.33]你说呢 绝对是一团糟 - Right, cuz? - Oh, totally screwed.
[16:19.48]实在是很糟糕 Screwed and not in the good way.
[16:22.61]你觉得我们该不该告诉他们 Do you think we can convince them
[16:24.53]互相扇耳光是一种新的庆贺方式 that slapping each other's face is the new high five?
[16:29.84]steve 天啊 这小花太美了 Steve, oh, my God. That rose is gorgeous.
[16:33.04]你真棒 Good for you.
[16:34.51]好了 还有一分钟 然后就要展示玫瑰了 All right, one more minute and we'll display our roses.
[16:37.50]嗨 steve 帮个小忙吧 Psst. Steve. Little help.
[16:40.97]考试一计时我就完蛋 我SAT考试才得40分 I choke at timed tests. I got like a 40 on my SATs.
[16:45.14]我擦类 steve Damn it, Steve!
[16:47.81]看看这儿 Look at this place.
[16:49.06]在这种经济环境下 There's no way these girls
[16:50.31]女孩子做蛋糕事业根本不可能成功 could have this much cupcake success in this economy.
[16:52.48]我说 这栋楼的开支得多大啊 I mean, the overhead on this building alone--
[16:54.65]你说啥呢 What are you saying?
[16:55.86]又不是在说钱 Not saying mob money,
[16:57.18]只是说也许我们也能开家店 just saying maybe we'd have a shop too
[16:58.85]只要我们有一大笔钱 嘘嘘 - if we had mob money. - Shh.
[17:00.54]小点声儿 Keep it down.
[17:01.82]你想明天醒来一早 You wanna wake up tomorrow with Chestnut's head
[17:03.45]就看到小栗子的头在你的阴道床上吗 in your vagina bed?
[17:06.07]时间到了 看看你们做的怎么样 Okay, time's up. Let's see what you got.
[17:09.64]那是个啥 我怎么感觉啥也没
有 What is that? There's like nothing there.
[17:11.88]那不是玫瑰花 That's not a rose.
[17:13.00]那是个迷你艺术品 随便吧 - It's minimalist. - Whatev.
[17:15.63]不是随便吧 这个可厉害了 No, not "whatev". It's brilliant.
[17:17.92]当我在东京的时候 And I would know because,when I was in Tokyo,
[17:20.37]我上了几节私人日式插花课 I had a private Japanese flower arranging class
[17:22.51]是插花研究所的专家教的 with the head of the Ikebana institute.
[17:24.84]他还说我有天赋呢 And he said I had a gift.
[17:26.34]用他的话说 （日语) In his words, "Caroline...[Speaking Japanese]"
[17:34.65]随便吧 你的朋友做的怎么样 Whatev. Okay, what about your friend there?
[17:37.16]我时间不够了 I kinda ran out of time.
[17:39.02]你有20分钟呢 [Scoffs] You had 20 minutes.
[17:40.74]她说你可是个烘培师啊 I thought she said you were the baker.
[17:42.23]你应该20秒就做好 No, you need to be able to whip these out in like 20 seconds
[17:45.23]如果你想把那家小面包店做成功 if you wanna be successful in your little bakery.
[17:46.95]我想要个蛋糕 12个小时候来取吧 "Um, I'd like a cupcake." "That'll be 12 hours."
[17:51.40]是不是 就是 - Right? - Right.
[17:53.20]而且要做的比这个还好看 And they have to be prettier than that.
[17:54.76]也许明天你会做的更好 Well, maybe you'll do better tomorrow.
[17:56.59]记得你们的家庭作业 Remember. Your homework assignment
[17:59.76]做一个有漂亮的玫瑰花的蛋糕 is to bring in a cupcake with a pretty rose on it.
[18:03.38]好 [Scoffs] Right.
[18:04.93]说的跟我们还会再来似的 Like we're gonna come back here
[18:06.25]还和这些罗伯特德尼罗混在一起 and spend time with these Robert de Nir-hos.
[18:13.52]啊 又毁了一个 我擦 Ugh! That one stinks too. Damn it!
[18:16.19][Clatter]
[18:18.06]Max 先放一会儿吧 Max, forget it.
[18:20.72]三点了 快去睡觉 It's 3:00 A.M. Go to bed.
[18:22.70]别跟我说话 Don't. Don't say anything to me.
[18:24.49]我正在生你的气呢 I am so mad at you right now.
[18:26.37]为什么 为你做的所有事 - What did I do? - Everything.
[18:28.51]我以前最喜欢做蛋糕了 I used to love making cupcakes.
[18:30.07]我只有在做蛋糕的时候 It was the one thing I could zone out and do
[18:31.94]才不用动脑子 without thinking.
[18:33.13]现在我尽在动脑子了 And now all I'm doing is thinking.
[18:34.50]想着我蛋糕做的有多烂 Thinking that I stink at making cupcakes.
[18:36.50]别想了 Well, stop it.
[18:37.95]谁关心他们的想法 她们只是蛋糕恶霸 Who cares what they think? They're bitchy baking bullies.
[18:42.14]我们不用再回去了 We don't have to go back there.
[18:43.81]然后呢 Oh, and then what?
[18:45.29]我会觉得我做的蛋糕不够好 I'm gonna think my cupcakes were
n't good enough
[18:46.92]余生在郁闷中度过 for the rest of my life?
[18:48.18]既然你说我们需要这项技术 我们就要掌握这项技术 You said we need the skill,then we need the skill.
[18:50.65]我虽然有很多坏毛病 但绝对不是半途而废的人 I'm a lot of things, but I'm not a quitter.
[18:53.10]我要做一个傻不拉唧的漂亮蛋糕出来 哪怕得把自己活活折腾死 I'm gonna make a stupid,pretty cupcake if it kills me.
[18:56.13]或者你 Or you.
[18:58.35]你也要和我一起去 And you are going back there with me.
[19:00.10]我们要把我们的漂亮蛋糕 And we're gonna shove our pretty cupcake
[19:01.61]好好让snooki和她表妹开开眼 （此处是关于泽西海滩的笑话） right up Snooki and her cousin's asses.
[19:04.91]现在闭嘴 别跟我说话 Now, shut up, don't talk to me,
[19:07.75]回你的阴道床睡觉去 and go back in your vagina.
[19:11.70]很抱歉让你看到这些了 小栗子 Sorry you had to see that, Chestnut.
[19:16.74]+
[19:20.49]嗷 不怎么好看 Oh, not very pretty.
[19:22.46]不过至少你已经尽力了michale But at least you tried, Michael.
[19:24.57]还有一个问题 Just one question.
[19:25.85]你确定你是基佬吗 Are you sure that you're gay?
[19:32.16]好 caroline 看看你做的 Oh, okay, Caroline. Let's see your pretty rose.
[19:34.39]我没做 I didn't do one.
[19:35.69]这个社会太关注别人的想法了 Society is way too concerned with other people's idea
[19:37.00]关于什么是美丽 of what's pretty.
[19:38.28]随便吧 Both: Whatevs.
[19:40.37]好 你的烘培师做了么 Okay, what about your baker there?
[19:41.95]她也没做吗 She bail too?
[19:43.25]不 她做了 No, here it is.
[19:47.62]哇 Max 这真好看 - Mm-hmm. - Max, that's so pretty.
[19:50.09]真是以你为荣啊 I'm so proud of you.
[19:52.09]做的真好 上帝保佑你 你太棒了 Good work, God bless. Good for you.
[19:53.85]你做了多久 How long did it take you?
[19:55.18]3小时40分钟 About three hours and 40 minutes.
[19:57.35]但是我成功了 But I did it!
[19:58.77]我只是想向你们和自己证明 I just wanted to prove to you and myself
[20:00.52]我能把东西做的很好看 I can make something pretty.
[20:02.05]现在我就…… And now that I have--
[20:03.77]啊 Mm!
[20:04.77][All shout, gasp]
[20:12.20]那种蛋糕不是我的风格 我不做徒有外表的东西 That cupcake wasn't me. I don't do pretty.
[20:15.53]但是我还做了一些蛋糕 But I did make each of you a cupcake that I think says
[20:18.12]可以表达我对这个蛋糕课程的看法 what I feel about this whole cupcake class.
[20:21.11]这个写着 去死吧 This one says "Bite me".
[20:25.08]这个写着 滚你丫 This one says "Screw U".
[20:27.96]看见没 这才是U You see that "U"? That's a "U".
[20:30.67]给力吧 Holla!
[20:38.34]好吧 祝你好运 Well, good luc
k with that.
[20:39.62]人们可不喜欢这些冒犯他们的蛋糕 People don't want cupcakes that insult them.
[20:43.90]天啊 Max 这就是我们该做的 Oh, my God, Max. That's our thing.
[20:46.23]我错了 你是对的 I was wrong. You were right.
[20:47.43]我们不需要做好看的蛋糕 We don't need to make pretty cupcakes.
[20:48.77]别的人都做好看的蛋糕 Everybody does pretty.
[20:50.02]我们要做你最擅长的 We have to do what you do best.
[20:51.57]吐槽别人 Insult people.
[20:54.57]是啊 可是谁会买呢 Yeah, who's gonna buy that?
[20:56.16]我们会 为我们的洗礼会 We will. For our shower.
[20:58.44]And really let us bitches have it!
[21:01.13]制作 UB 感谢收看 实在不了解的地方没有翻译 更好的翻译还请期待伊甸园 风软 破烂熊