Acknowledgements (小二，加粗，居中)
I wish to express my thanks and appreciation to my tutor, Miss Zhang Bi, whose careful reading and suggestions have been invaluable to me throughout my thesis writing. My thanks should also be given to all the teachers who have taught me my BA courses. Without their enthusiasm and support, this work would not have been possible.
I am also grateful to my classmates and roommates for their psychological support and encouragement. In particular, I own a special debt of thanks to Huang Linyin, who has given me many
Abstract （四号；粗体；居中）
The relationship between language and gender has long attracted the western sociolinguists ? interest. As early as in the 1960s, with the development of feminist social movement and the growth of sociolinguistics, there are many researches on inter-gender discourse. But how to explain speech differences between men and women remains a question in dispute among sociolinguists.
The article reviews the definition of discourse and the definition and historical perspective of gender discourse. Five differences in conversations are displayed. They are the usage of “directness and indirectness ”, “m inimal responses”, “q uestions”, “swearing and taboo language, h edges, compliments and politeness” and “amount of talk”. The paper then analyzes the main causes of inter-gender differences, including ideology, socialization, interpretive frames and social status and power.
Based on the analysis and discussions above, the author offers some advice to avoid the miscommunication: pay more attention and respect to the objective factors, gain share knowledge as much as possible and learn to be open and flexible.
In fact, the study on gender discourse is still very new. Most of the available analysis is based on the patterns of discourse within American society. And it is very important to
摘要(小四宋体加粗居中)
语言与性别问题一直都受到社会语言学家的重视。早在20世纪60年代，随着西方妇女运动的蓬勃发展与社会语言学的兴起和壮大，涌现了大量相关的研究。另外，如何解释男女交际中存在的差异仍然是一个引起语言学家争论的话题。
文章回顾了话语的定义以及性别话语的定义和历史发展状况；展现了对话中的五种差异形式--直接和间接的使用、最低限度应答语的使用、疑问句的使用、话语中诅咒语、禁忌语、闪避词、恭维语和礼貌用语的运用以及话语量；分析探讨了话语中性别交际产生差异的原因--意识形态、社会化适应、诠释框架以及社会地位和权力。
在此基础上作者归纳出避免差异产生的建议和方法：只有认识到性别语言差异客观存在的事实，尊重其各自发展的规律；在日常生活中获取大量的共享知识，
Contents(四号, Times New Roman粗体, 居中) Acknowledgements (i)
Abstract(English) (ii)
Abstract(Chinese) (iii)
1.Introduction (1)
2. Review of discourse and gender discourse (2)
2.1 The definition of discourse ........................... . (2)
2.2 The definition of gender discourse (3)
3. Inter-gender differences in conversations (4)
3.1 Directness and indirectness (4)
3.2 Amount of talk (5)
4. An analysis of the causes of gender differences (5)
4.1 Ideology (6)
4.2 Socialization (6)
4.3 Interpretive frames (6)
5. Improving inter-gender communication (7)
5.1 Increase shared knowledge (8)
5.2 Learn to be open and flexible (8)
6.
(9)
(11)
1. Introduction
The research on gender can be divided into two main periods. Before the 1960s,
the research was fragmentary. It ?s widespread that the language used by men was considered as the standard one, while women ?s language was confirmed as the deviated one (Net. 1). （正文全部为小四号，Times New Roman 字体，行间距为2倍）
Since the middle of 1960s, as a result of the development of feminist social movement and the growth of sociolinguistics, language and gender has caught many western scholars? attention, such as the linguists, psycholinguists and sociolinguists. Generally speaking, the research in this period has been analyzed systematically.
2. Review gender discourse （文内小标题加粗，一级标题与上文隔一行；下同）
2.1 The definition of discourse
There are three somewhat different ways to define the word “discourse ” by Scollon. “In the most technically narrow definition of the word, the study of grammatical and other relationships between sentences.
The broadest concept of discourse, which is the study of the whole system of communication with a shared language or jargon, with particular ways in which people learn what they need to know to become members, with a particular ideological position, and with quite specific forms of interpersonal relationships
2.2 The definition of gender discourse
Gender discourse is one of the four most common discourse systems, which takes the broadest concept of discourse. It mainly focuses on the discourse characters between the male and the female. Gender discourse is an involuntary discourse system, which is formed by gender such characteristic, in which individual members have relatively little choice about whether or not they share in the characteristics (Scollon, 2000:166). When and where someone is born is not what one can choose. Then he/she is determined sexual characteristics and given gender expectations (Scollon, 2000:167), which gives obvious and great influences to their discourse.
3.Inter-gender differences in conversations
3.1 Directness and indirectness
There is a frequent complaint woman make of man that during their long marriage lives, husband never tells wife he loves her (Scollon, 2000: 231). In this case, it displays that for women an explicit statement in words is necessary, while men are choosing an implicit statement through actions (Scollon, 2000: 231). Facing this complaint, men always explain that what they have done has proved that how very much they love their wives. They have tried their best to work hard and be good husbands and fathers in day-to-day lives. How other things more than those can demonstrate their love.
3.2 Amount of talk
There is a widespread opinion that the amount of talk of women is more than that
of men. It can be proved by some English words. Words such as "chatter, gab, gossip, nag" (谭慧玉, 2002) are always for women. On the contrary, men's ways of talking are described positively as "forceful, efficient, blunt, authoritative, serious, effective, sparing, and masterful" (Kramer,1977:151). Many proverbs also prove the view of women's talkative character. Such as:
4. An analysis of the causes of gender differences
4.1 Ideology
The history of differences occurred in conversation are closely connected with the historical development of the Utilitarian ideology. The ideological conception of Utilitarian discourse system can be summarized as follows (Scollon, 2000: 104): The above characters have determined that men are strongly connected with the value of independence, status, equality, exclusion and problem solving. On the other hand, “women are much more conscious of the unfairness of status and power”(Talbot, 1998), and hold the value of intimacy, connection, inclusion and problem sharing. With these characteristics, men and women choose the different language forms to correspond to their value.
4.2 Socialization
Scollon (2000: 241) uses “education” to indicate the formal means of teaching and studying, while the word “socialization”or “enculturation”is indicated the informal ones, meaning the ability and action that human beings learn from other people in social life after they are born.
For boys, they choose action to form their circles but not talking (Scollon, 2000: 242). Their topics are much more abstract and broader. Talking is used to form or maintain their power and status (Tannen, 1990a: 91).
Meanwhile as individuals in one of the involuntary discourse system, the male and the female have almost no choice to decide whether or not they are endowed with the certain characteristics (Scollon, 2000: 166). That?s to say, after their birth, they are taught to be themselves.
5. Improving inter-gender communication
5.1 Increase shared knowledge
Inter-gender communication is a kind of intercultural communication, which has long historical origins and has been affected by great far-reaching elements. If two people have very similar histories, backgrounds, and experiences, their communication works better because of the inferences each makes and bases on common experience and knowledge (刘卫红, 2001). The more similar knowledge about the world the participants share, the better the communication works.
Both sexes should try to show more of themselves to their partners in the way they can understand (Coates, 1993). And try to gain the share knowledge as much as possible. In this way, inter-gender discourse will be easier.
Meanwhile, each should try to learn the ability to see things from the point of view of others. Whenever possible, seek common value and attempt to understand and respect cultural differences (刘卫红, 2001).
5.2 Learn to be open and flexible
In intercultural communication, participants should learn to be open, which means people should accept changes and not be closed to new ideas (刘卫红, 2001). As a kind of intercultural communication, there are numerous cultural differences and new conclusions, so it is necessary for participants to pay attention to these elements, and use the appropriate language and strategy in the communication. “Brislin (1993) calls flexibility …a willingness to use various ways to communicate?” (刘卫红, 2001). It means under different circumstances, communicators should behave correctly according to the situations. Do as the Spanish proverb “I dance to the tune that is played”. When facing a partner who speaks in a formal style, try to use the formal one to meet it (Maltz and Borker, 1982: 27).
6. Conclusion
As one of the important branches in discourse system, the research on inter-gender discourse has attracted many scholars? attention since a long time ago.
In different contexts, the differences differ in various styles. It is necessary to realize the inner or real characteristics by analyzing the outer phenomenon. “It is easy to see that a major source of fuel for the battle between the sexes is the vastly different way of communicating”(William, 1990: 182). “Perhaps if men stopped expecting women to communicate like men, and women stopped expecting men to communicate like women, we would have enough energy left to enjoy how each sex compliments the other in a wonderful way” (Tannan, 1990a: 197). Life would be pretty boring if
men and women were the same.
Generally speaking, as a subject of the research on discourse, the study on gender discourse is still very new. Most of the available analysis is based on the patterns of discourse within American society. As a result, it will be perfunctory to analyze the inter-gender differences in other countries by the available analysis (see Scollon, 2000: 228). And it is very important to follow the inter-gender differences in western countries, and discover a new aspect to do further study on other inter-gender differences in other countries.
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