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韩素音青年翻译奖赛12

韩素音青年翻译奖赛12
韩素音青年翻译奖赛12

翻译竞赛译文评析汉译英部分:

【概述】

本文是2000 年第十二届“韩素音青年翻译奖”汉译英部分的参赛原文。散文《霞》是冰心先生于1985 年写的一篇咏物抒怀的散文诗。文章虽短,但含义隽永、寓意深刻、充满哲理,反映出作者深邃的智慧、敏锐的洞察力,以及对于生命含义的感知。语言质朴平实、深入浅出、简洁凝练。文学作品的艺术性越高,语言风格越独特,翻译起来就越困难。出看《霞》,觉得其文字很简明,可是动手翻译时就发现要很好的再现作者的写作风格、原文的语言特色和文章的韵味并非易事,尤其是翻译散文、诗歌这类文体时,一定要挖掘出语言层面下的深层意蕴。

竞赛原文之

霞 1

四十年代初期,我在重庆郊外歌乐山闲居 2 时候,曾看到英文《读者文摘》上,有个很使我惊心的句子,是:

May there be enough clouds in your life to make a beautiful sunset.我在一篇短文里曾把它译成:“愿你的生命中有够多的云翳,来造成一个美丽的黄昏。”

其实,这个sunset 应当译成“落照”或“落霞”。 3

霞,是我的老朋友了 4 !我童年在海边、在山上,她都是我的最熟悉最美丽的小伙伴。她每早每晚都在光明中和我说“早上好”或“明天见” 5 。但我直到几十年以后,才体会到云彩更多,霞光才愈美丽。从云翳中外露的霞光,才是璀璨多彩的。

生命中不是只有快乐,也不是只有痛苦,快乐和痛苦是相生相成,互相衬托的 6 。

快乐是一抹微云,痛苦是压城的乌云7 ,这不同的云彩,在你生命的天边重叠着,在“夕阳无限好” 8 的时候,就给你造成一个美丽的黄昏。

一个生命会到了“只是近黄昏”的时节,落霞也许会使人留恋、惆怅。但人类的生命是永不止息的。地球不停地绕着太阳自转。东方不亮西方亮,我床前的晚霞,正向美国东岸的慰冰湖上走去 (9)

【翻译要点评析】

1. “霞”这个字很重要,不仅贯穿全文,还具有深刻的含义。文章的前四个自然段是引子,讲述了作者四十多年前所读的一篇谈“生命”哲理的文章中引用过的“黄昏”被改为“落霞”,

再描写了儿时对朝霞和晚霞的美好回忆和几十年后从“霞”中悟出的人生哲理。下面一转,以霞和乌云作比喻谈及自己的苦乐观。对“霞”的译法可以有很多,如clouds, rosy cl ouds, sunglow, evening glow, the setting sunlight, the radiance of the sun, twilight 等等。从本文的语境中可知,“霞”包括朝霞和晚霞,也就是“彩色的云”,其寓意就是“生活中的快乐和美丽”,所以用rosy 比较贴切原意,而且rosy 作为形容词还有“有希望的”、“愉快的”之义,正好符合本文的内涵。标题被译作“ the rosy cloud ” 是为了和下文的“”在单数的形式上保持一致。

2. “闲居”从字面上看似乎可译作“ live an idle life/ live idly/ stay at home unoccupied/ rest ”,可是真正了解一下冰心在歌乐山的生活环境和她的生活习惯,就知道这些译法都不妥,因为冰心于1940 年底到重庆,从事文化救亡运动,曾主编《妇女文化》半月刊;她自己曾说过自己不喜欢住在城市,怕应酬;根据《辞源》的解释,“闲居”意为“避人独居”。把这个词译为“ live a retired/ secluded life ”更为恰当。

3. 本文中有三个自然段,也是三句话:①May there be enough clouds in yo ur life to make a beautiful sunset. ②我在一篇短文李曾把它译成:“愿你的生命中有够多的云翳,来造成一个美丽的黄昏。” ③其实,这个sunset 应当译成“落照”或“落霞”。在译成英语时,第一句话照抄就可以了,第二句话的引语“愿你的生命中……黄昏。”和第三句的“落照”或“落霞”该如何翻译呢?冰心所说的短文指她在1944 年12 月 1 日于歌乐山时写的名为《再寄小读者?通讯 4 》的文章。在文中,冰心先把这个英语句子译成汉语,又在括号里提供了英语句子,以便读者更准确的理解其意。从不懂汉语的英语读者考虑,可以用以下两种方法处理:第一,把汉语句子直接译成英语;第二,汉语句子先用拼音表示,然后在括号中译出句子的意思。第二种译法是目前海内外学者在处理这种情况时较常用的方法,详见参考译文。

4. “霞,是我的老朋友了!”采用了拟人的手法,用逗号把“霞”和“是我的老朋友了”隔开,是为了更突出“霞”,可译作“ She has been my dear old friend, the Rosy C loud !”

5. “她每早每晚都在光明中和我说“早上好”或“明天见”。”中的“每早每晚”是译成时间状语还是解释为朝霞和晚霞呢?这个句子采用了拟人的手法,所以在译文中也最好保持原文的修辞手法,译作“ Bathed in the brilliant sunshine, she would say to m e “Good morning!” at dawn and “See you tomorrow!” at dusk. ”

6. “快乐和痛苦是相生相成,互相衬托的。”辞典上有“相生相克”和“相辅相成”,可以说这里的“相生相成”是冰心根据这两个成语造的一个新词。如果用释义的方法翻译,可译为“ Each growing out of the other, happiness and misery go hand in h and, complementing and setting off each other. ”虽然这种译法的表达具体、明确,但句子结构复杂、笨重,不符合冰心简洁明快的写作风格。译为“ Happines

s and misery beget, complement and set off each other. ”就比较符合

原文的风格。

7. 在翻译时,太过拘泥于原文词语的字面意思就会使译文不仅没有表达出原文的真正含义,更降低了译文的质量。如翻译“压城的乌云”时,译作“ dark clouds hanging over the city ”,而这个短语的真正意思是“痛苦就像使人感到压抑的乌云”,较好的译法是“Happiness is a wisp of fleecy cloud; misery a mass of threatening dark cloud. ”

8. “夕阳无限好”和后面的“只是近黄昏”是唐朝诗人李商隐(813-858 )《乐游园》中的名句。在本文中,这两句充满文化内涵的诗被用来讨论生命的规律,所以在此处还是采

用意译的方法为好。详见参考译文。

9. “我床前的晚霞,正向美国东岸的慰冰湖上走去……”中这的地理名词对于中国人来说是比较陌生的,在翻译时应查找相关资料找出正确的译法,而不是想当然的译作“ Comfort ing Ice Lake/ Wakbin Lake/ Wheepin Lake/ Solace Ice Lake ”,而应是“ Lake Waban ”。“向……走去”在这里是表明云彩的飘逸,而这里又是拟人的表现手法,英语中的“ sail ”可以同时表明这两层意思,所以可译作“ The rosy sunset c loud is now sailing past my window towards Lake Waban on the e ast coast of America …”

【参考译文】

The Rosy Cloud

During the early 1940's I was living a retired life in the Gele Moun tains in the suburbs of Chongqing (Chungking). One day, while rea ding the English language magazine Reader's Digest I found a sent ence that touched me greatly. It read: “May there be enoug h cloud

s in your life to make a beautiful sunset.”

In a short article of mine, I quoted this sentence and translated it as “ Yuan ni de shengming zhong you guo duo de yunyi, lai zaoche ng yige meili de huanghun. ” (literally: May there be enough cloud

s in your life to make a beautiful sunset.)*

As I see it now, the word “sunset” in the English sentence should have been translated as luozhao (the glow at sunset) or luoxia (th

e rosy cloud at sunset), instead o

f dusk.

She has been my dear old friend, the Rosy Cloud! She was my clos est and most beautiful little companion when, in my childhood, I pl ayed on the beach or in the hills. Bathed in the brilliant sunshine, she would say to me “Good morning!” at dawn and “See you tomor row!” at dusk. But not until sever al decades later did I come to re alize that the more clouds there are the more beautiful the rays of sunlight will be, and the glow of the sun breaking through the clo uds becomes most resplendent and colorful.

Life contains neither unalloyed happiness nor mere misery. Happin ess and misery beget, complement and set off each other.

Happiness is a wisp of fleecy cloud; misery a mass of threatening dark cloud. These different clouds overlap on the horizon of your li fe to create a beautiful dusk for you when “the setting sun is most lovely indeed.”** or to create a beautiful dusk for you, just as the line goes"The setting sun is most lovely."

An individual's life must inevitably reach the point when “dusk is s o near,”*** and the rosy sunset cloud may make one n ostalgic and melancholy. But human life goes on and on. The Earth ceaselessly rotates on its axis around the sun. When it is dark in the east, it i s light in the west. The rosy sunset cloud is now sailing past my w indow towards Lake Waban on the east coast of America …

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摘要: 韩素音青年翻译奖 歌德之人生启示 宗白华 人生是什么人生的真相如何人生的意义何在人生的目的是何这些人生最重大最中心的问题,不只是古来一切大宗教家哲学家所殚精竭虑以求解答的。世界上第一流的大诗人凝神冥想,深入灵魂的幽邃,或纵身大化中,于一朵花中窥见天国,一滴露水参悟生命,然后用他们生花之笔,幻现层层世界,幕幕人生,归根也不外乎启示这生命的真相与意义。宗教家对这些问题的方法与态度是预言的说教的,哲学家是解释的说明的,诗人文豪是表现的启示的。荷马的长歌启示了希腊艺术文明幻美的人生与理想,但丁的神曲启示了中古基督教文化心灵的生活与信仰,莎士比亚的剧本表现了文艺复兴时人们的生活矛盾与权力意志。至于近代的,建筑于这三种文明精神之上而同时开展一个新时代,所谓近代人生,则由伟大的歌德以他的人格,生活,作品表现出它的特殊意义与内在的问题。 歌德对人生的启示有几层意义,几种方面。就人类全体讲,他的人格与生活可谓极尽了人类的可能性。他同时是诗人,科学家,政治家,思想家,他也是近代泛神论信仰的一个伟大的代表。他表现了西方文明自强不息的精神,又同时具有东方乐天知命宁静致远的智慧。德国哲学家息默尔(Simmel)说:“歌德的人生所以给我们以无穷兴奋与深沉的安慰的,就是他只是一个人,他只是极尽了人性,但却如此伟大,使我们对人类感到有希望,鼓动我们努力向前做一个人。“我们可以说歌德是世界一扇明窗,我们由他窥见了人生生命永恒幽邃奇丽广大的天空! 再狭小范围,就欧洲文化的观点说,歌德确是代表文艺复兴以后近代人的心灵生活及其内在的问题。近代人失去了基督教对一超越上帝虔诚的信仰。人类精神上获得了解放,得到了自由;但也就同时失所依傍,彷徨摸索,苦闷,追求,欲在生活本身的努力中寻得人生的意义与价值。歌德是这时代精神伟大的代表,他的主著《浮士德》是这人生全部的反映与其问题的解决。歌德与其替身浮士德一生生活的内容就是尽量体验这近代人生特殊的精神意义,了解其悲剧而努力以解决其问题,指出解救之道。所以有人称他的浮士德是近代人的圣经。 但歌德与但丁莎士比亚不同的地方,就是他不单是由作品里启示我们人生真相,尤其在他自己的人格与生活中表现了人生广大精微的义谛。

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“CATTI杯”第二十七届韩素音青年翻译奖竞赛 英译汉竞赛原文: The Posteverything Generation I never expected to gain any new insight into the nature of my generation, or the changing landscape of American colleges, in Lit Theory. Lit Theory is supposed to be the class where you sit at the back of the room with every other jaded sophomore wearing skinny jeans, thick-framed glasses, an ironic tee-shirt and over-sized retro headphones, just waiting for lecture to be over so you can light up a Turkish Gold and walk to lunch while listening to Wilco. That’s pretty much the way I spent the course, too: through structuralism, formalism, gender theory, and post-colonialism, I was far too busy shuffling through my Ipod to see what the patriarchal world order of capitalist oppression had to do with Ethan Frome. But when we began to study postmodernism, something struck a chord with me and made me sit up and look anew at the seemingly blasécollege-aged literati of which I was so self-consciously one. According to my textbook, the problem with defining postmodernism is that it’s impossible. The difficulty is that it is so...post. It defines itself so negatively against what came before it – naturalism, romanticism and the wild revolution of modernism – that it’s sometimes hard to see what it actually is. It denies that anything can be explained neatly or even at all. It is parodic, detached, strange, and sometimes menacing to traditionalists who do not understand it. Although it arose in the post-war west (the term was coined in 1949), the generation that has witnessed its ascendance has yet to come up with an explanation of what postmodern attitudes mean for the future of culture or society. The subject intrigued me because, in a class otherwise consumed by dead-letter theories, postmodernism remained an open book, tempting to the young and curious. But it also intrigued me because the question of what postmodernism – what a movement so post-everything, so reticent to define itself – is spoke to a larger question about the political and popular culture of today, of the other jaded sophomores sitting around me who had grown up in a postmodern world. In many ways, as a college-aged generation, we are also extremely post: post-Cold War, post-industrial, post-baby boom, post-9/11...at one point in his famous essay, “Postmodernism, or the Cultural Logic of Late Capitalism,” literary critic Frederic Jameson even calls us “post-literate.” We are a generation that is riding on the tail-end of a century of war and revolution that toppled civilizations, overturned repressive social orders, and left us with more privilege and opportunity than any other society in history. Ours could be an era to accomplish anything. And yet do we take to the streets and the airwaves and say “here we are, and this is what we demand”? Do we plant our flag of youthful rebellion on the mall in Washington and say “we are not leaving until we see change! Our eyes have been opened by our education and our conception of what is possible has been expanded by our privilege and we demand a better world because it is our right”? It would seem we do the opposite. We go to war without so much as questioning the rationale, we sign away our civil liberties, we say nothing when the Supreme Court uses Brown v. Board of Education to outlaw desegregation, and we sit back to watch the carnage on the evening news. On campus, we sign petitions, join organizations, put our names on mailing lists, make small-money contributions, volunteer a spare hour to tutor, and sport an entire wardrobe’s worth of Live Strong bracelets advertising our moderately priced opposition to everything from breast cancer to global warming. But what do we really stand for? Like a true postmodern generation we refuse to weave together an overarching narrative to our own political consciousness, to present a cast of inspirational or revolutionary characters on our public stage, or to define a specific philosophy. We are a story seemingly without direction or theme, structure or meaning – a generation defined negatively against what came before us. When Al Gore once said “It’s the combination of narcissism and nihilism that really defines postmodernism,” he might as well have been echoing his entire generation’s critique of our own. We are a generation for whom even revolution seems trite, and therefore as fair a target for bland imitation as anything else. We are the generation of the Che Geuvera tee-shirt.

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