当前位置:文档之家› Guess I'm Doing Fine Ficlet - DamonGraham

Guess I'm Doing Fine Ficlet - DamonGraham

Click Here to Unblock A Different Website! roomeight (roomeight) wrote in blurslash,
@ 2007-08-23 20:18:00





Current mood: anxious
Current music: The Jarvis Cocker Album

Guess I'm Doing Fine Ficlet - Damon/Graham
Hullo there. I'm brand new to these community, so I suppose it's only proper to introduce myself. My name's Heather and I'm a noob fan of Blur. I recently discovered the epicness/demigod that is Damon Albarn only but a wee bit ago. Therefore, my knowledge of the band is rather limited, so I hope you'll forgive me for my trasgressions.

Oh ho then. Off to the story.

Title: Guess I'm Doing Fine
Pairing: Damon/Graham
Rating: NC-17 (well, for just a wee bit)




Damon awoke to the feeling of soft breath on his neck, his vision blurry and drunk. He squinted at the morning light in his eyes, and yawned, his arm was resting over the warm body of dormant guitarist next to him.

Graham was still sound asleep, tucked lazily in-between Damon's arms, almond-coloured hair lay splayed across the pillow. Just like the old times in high school, they'd wake up together in Damon's bed. Drunk and still pleasantly stoned from the night before, they'd be entangled in one another all too comfortably.

Damon resisted the urge to kiss him, knowing it would wake him, and instead focused on his face. He still looked so young. Everyone else had changed drastically in appearance throughout the last decade. Their drug years had finally caught up to them, their mortality finally seemed to be hanging above their noses. But Graham remained the same: thick glasses and awkwardly cut hair. It was adorable in a way, he thought, that Graham was still caught in the throes of the nineties.

He laid his head back, closing his eyes. No matter how much he tried to comfort himself, Damon still found getting old unsettling. He'd known Graham since before he'd hit puberty, yet now they had families to look over, girlfriends to attend to. Those sort of things took up all their free time when they weren't on tour.

Damon's gaze fell on Graham again. He was snoring softly, and his shirt was halfway off, exposing his pale backside. He thought Graham didn't look as though he'd aged much at all.

Even so, Graham hadn't taken recent times too well. Most nights the band saw him he was well-drunk. He snapped at people during parties and was generally unfriendly to most people. One sarcastic comment from a band member would result in a bloody nose or a black eye and even Damon had learned that the hard way. After a night of bingeing, Graham would finally collapse into a fit of depression, and Damon would have to carry him somewhere appropriate.

Damon missed the old Graham. Everyone did. But no one dared to say it out loud.

Finally, the night before, Graham had somberly announced that he would be leaving the band, to pursue, supposedly, his solo endeavors. He'd confessed that he had no longer felt like a member of Blur, and that

each of them has slowly drifted in a direction away from him, creatively and as band-mates.

He could still remember the look on all of their faces as he said it.

"I'm out."

Dave looked sore, and Alex looked like he could have cared less but was probably faking it. Damon, on the other hand, had no words for Graham. He avoided him after the band meeting, and said little to Alex or Dave either. After all, Blur was always Damon's band more than anyone else's. He quickly found comfort in the form of drink and his own empty living space. Suzi had left with Missy to visit her parents a few days earlier, so the house was empty and dark. Everyone knew that Damon would take it the hardest, for one reason or another.

Graham had showed up at his doorstep later that night, drenched from head to toe with rain. He'd probably walked the entire way there. He also didn't look entirely sober. Maybe he knew that playing on his pity was the only way in hell Damon would have ever let him in. And in turn, that it was the only way that Damon would feel inclined to remove Graham from his wet clothing and lead him into his bed. Normally Damon would have felt guilty about taking advantage of him in a such as state, but he didn't care anymore. Graham knew very well that playing with Damon's lust for him was the sure way to forgiveness.

"Damon, I'm sorry. You have to understand, Pepper--"

"Shush."

"Day..."

But Graham's pleas for forgiveness were quickly hindered by Damon's mouth enclosing his, and firm hands pushing him down onto the bed. In just a few short breathes, Graham was stripped and Damon was weighing down upon him.


"I don't care, Gray. I don't care."


CCC

Damon opened his eyes once again. He did care, in as much as he tried to deny it. Graham was something important to Damon, like an idea you never really get over. You just have to keep believing in it, whether it be love or trust or...something. Perhaps it was something only physical, for all Damon knew. If Graham left there would be no other guitarist to take his place or to help Damon with the direction of a song or tell Alex to fuck off one more time. There would also not be anyone to pick up Graham after a bad night of drinking, to take him back to a safe place and sleep next to him.

How many nights had Graham offered to stay with him after he and Justine broke up? He had been a friend and a body to warm a cold bed during his most difficult--his most lonely days. Damon acknowledged his friend's love for him as best he could, but he couldn't promise him anything in return, and Graham knew that.

Their love for each other was a hurried and temporary thing, as it always had been.

Damon shifted his body weight slightly, pulling Graham farther into his arms, and smiling at the sight of Graham's discarded glasses in-between them. He picked them up, carefully placing them on the bed-side table. Beneath him, Graham stirred, the slits of his eyes wary of the new morning s

un. Damon heard him groan into his pillow and bed sheets. He knew how unforgiving hangovers were.

Damon turned to face him, leaning forward to place a kiss on his forehead.

"Good morning, Sunshine," he said softly, running a hand through the guitarist's mussed hair.

More grumbling from Graham's end.

"I'm afraid the sun isn't going to listen to any of your pleas, Gray. It's pretty damn well set on being bright and annoying." He smirked, pulling the blankets off his friend. He happily noted that his trousers were unbuttoned.

After no response, Damon sat up on the edge of the bed, pulling himself away from Graham. He stretched, and then reached for his shirt on the floor, pulling it over his head. He didn't remember taking it off last night, but then he didn't really remember much about last night.

Graham lifted his head up from the bed, rubbing his eyes tiredly. He groaned sleepily.

"Come on Dames, just five more minutes. Please?" He gave him his best puppy dog impression. "Come back to bed with me."

Damon just shook his head, pulling his jeans up and over his hips and beginning to button them. He reached for the pack of cigarettes on the bed side table, relieved to see that there were still a few left, and fumbled for a lighter in his pockets.

"No, no. I'm going to get up, and you're going to get up, and I'm going to have myself a breakfast and a smoke," he said firmly.

He still felt a little upset about Graham leaving, and subconsciously wanted to torture him with it. He continued to sit up, making a point not to look at Graham, placed an unlit cigarette between his lips, and just continued to shake his head. He normally didn't smoke inside, but he considered doing it just to irk Graham.

"Come on. You know you want to." He paused. "I know you want to."

Graham moved up behind him, circling his arms around Damon's waist and setting his chin on his shoulder. Damon found it very difficult to pull away, but managed eventually, prompting a very doleful look from the other.

The singer sighed, then gave Graham a look of mother's disapproval. "Graham, if you really think I'm just going to let--"

Graham cut him off before he could finish his sentence, kissing him forcefully on the lips. Damon closed his eyes for only a second, remembering what it used to feel like between them. His methods were abrupt, yet effective, Damon thought. He unconsciously moved his hand so that it rested on Graham's neck, pulling them closer together, and deeper into the kiss.

It took Damon a minute to realize what he was doing before he pulled away, a little regretful. "Graham, stop teasing me," he said seriously.

"Come back to bed with me," he repeated, sounding just as sore about leaving.

Damon gave him a hard look. Graham sighed, and gripped his friend tighter.

"Please?"

Damon took a deep breath, looking back at Graham and showing the first signs of giving in. He smiled a little, noting the pathetic look on Graham'

s face. "You're just like a little kid, you know that?"

"I suppose." Graham smirked. "But you like it that way."

"But we really mustn't Graham. Especially when we have tea and biscuits and coffee and pancakes and showers and all manner of morning things to get to." Not to his surprise, Graham's look of disgust was greeted with a toothy Albarn grin.

"Come on now, don't look so chuffed, Gray."

Graham rolled over again despite his partner's pleas, and Damon gave up. Heart overriding his will, he collapsed next to him with a big sigh. It wasn't long however, before they started to kiss again, and Damon was lulled back into a feeling of carelessness. There was nothing better at the moment than Graham kissing him, not even the idea of breakfast crepes. And Damon quite liked breakfast crepes. He could feel Graham tugging at the bottom end of his shirt, his hands pulling it up and over his head before discarding it on the floor next to them. Suddenly, the alcoholic daze of last night felt more familiar to him.

Graham shifted again, climbing sleepily, but avidly on top of him. Damon grinned toothily below him. Graham looked like a 15-year old boy with a streak of too much curiosity. He also looked much smaller on top of him than below him, Damon mused.

Their mouths connected again, and Graham bit down softly on Damon's lower lip before sliding his tongue between them. Graham still tasted a little like alcohol, but Damon didn't mind all that much; it was something he'd gotten used to over time. It was still a sweet sort of taste, mixed with the sweetness of rum and the tangy taste of liquor.

Leaning down further, Graham pulled at Damon's trouser buttons, slowly undoing them one by one. Damon almost moaned, but resisted, as he felt Graham's hand push against him.

"Cor, and you wanted to get up." Graham teased taking his own shirt off.

Damon rolled his head to the side. "You forget, I still want to get up."

Smirking, Graham pulled Damon's jeans off forcefully, then removed his own as quickly as he could. As Damon began to sit up, he felt Graham push him back down, pinning him down by the shoulders. Before he could protest, Graham muffled his words with another kiss, his fingers trailing dangerously low to the waistband of Damon's boxers. His heart turned in a low somersault.

Suddenly, Damon's mouth took on a possessive nature of it's own. He leaned forward against Graham's grip, planting love bites that he knew would make Graham shiver up and down his spine. He started with the lobe of his ear and slowly worked his way down to his chest. After a few bites, he bit a little harder into the soft skin of his neck, instigating a soft moan from the guitarist.

Graham really was wonderful in the morning, Damon thought to himself.

He felt himself getting light-headed and hot, and he felt callused fingers stroke him, and he pushed up into the feeling of Graham's hand. Before Damon knew it, his legs were propped up against hi

s chest and he was pinned down to the bed. He couldn't move even if he wanted to. Graham meanwhile leaned down for another kiss, this one deeper, encouraging a multitude of feelings--emotions that only someone with who'd kissed him for 10 years was capable of invoking. Damon was so hard it was almost painful. He bit down on his lip.

"Gray," he breathed. "Please."

Graham obliged, giving him one last kiss before reaching down. His fingers slid inside him; first one, then two, then three. Just that alone made Damon ache with want. He couldn't help from moaning as Graham entered him ever so slowly, his whole body rejoicing at the warmth and tightness and friction of their two bodies pressed together. Damon wrapped his arms around whatever part of Graham he could hold, wishing that this would not be their last time together. Their lips locked as Graham began to move back and forth and Damon pushed back against him, each movement feeling more amazing than the next.

He wanted it to last forever, but his body demanded release. Each thrust was bringing him closer and closer, and he felt Graham touching the back of him, the very back of him, and he could hold back no longer. He heard Graham moan his name as he came, his body collapsing onto the one beneath him.

Graham rolled off the top of him, his chest still heaving as he fought to catch his breath. He was flushed, and for a moment Damon thought he saw something flicker across Graham's eyes, sadness or regret cutting through the haze of pleasure.

Damon felt himself falling into helplessness again. Graham was leaving. Leaving all of them, but more importantly, he was leaving Damon. He wondered if Graham truly realized this, and he looked over at him, analyzing him with his eyes, pleading with him.

Didn't Graham realize that this was what they'd always dreamed about? The last three years of high school all they'd thought about was being in a rock band, and making it big. And now Graham was destroying what they created. All it took was a few words and a leave of absence, and Blur was finished. Damon felt himself becoming bitter and pushed the feeling away. He was more concerned about losing Graham than about losing the band.

He wished that Graham would change his mind, say that his decision to leave was really rubbish and all just a joke. He felt juvenile wishing it, but he didn't care. He wished it with all he had.

"I love you," Damon whispered, unthinkingly.






The image of Graham next to him faded as Damon Albarn woke up in a dark and rather unsettling hotel room. The body next to him was absent, replaced by cold sheets and pillows.

He was alone. There was no Graham next to him, no soft breathing, and no glasses on the bed side table.

He shivered in a cold bed. He felt his heart sink into the pit of dread he had previously feared. The dream had felt so real--he could still feel the warmth of Graham's body next to him, and still taste the alcohol on his lips.

B

ut Damon reassured himself.

Graham was still gone.




--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(Post a new comment)


blurred_rubbish
2007-08-24 08:24 am UTC (link)
*cries*
Graham don't go!

Apart from being really fooking sad, it was really fooking brilliant as well.
(Reply to this)(Thread)


roomeight
2007-08-27 04:48 am UTC (link)
Sorry this is late, but thank you!

That was my first fic I've written in a long while, so your comment makes me very happy.

Indeed, silly Graham. Methinks that there should be some reunion fics. They are still recording sometime this year, right? Or is that just rubbish now?
(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


blurred_rubbish
2007-08-27 05:38 am UTC (link)
That is still very much true!
I actually think that I've found a reunion pic (it's in my journal), but Alex isn't on it. WE NEED RENION-FICS!
(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


roomeight
2007-08-31 05:12 am UTC (link)
Hee hee. I saw it. And they look ehm, happy, sort of. I mean, Dave and Damon are smiling, right?

*jabs Graham*

Oh yes we do.
I don't understand why there isn't a stream of them...maybe if there's actual concrete reunion news, I suppose. :(

(Reply to this)(Parent)


theweirdgeek
2007-08-24 02:04 pm UTC (link)
GRAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM! *wails*

That was lovely, please write more! ^_^
(Reply to this)(Thread)


roomeight
2007-08-27 04:49 am UTC (link)
Thank you!

That was my first fic in a while, so I'm happy that you liked it. :D

grahamdamonsmex. :o
(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


theweirdgeek
2007-08-30 07:32 am UTC (link)
Graham/Damon... *does Homer Simpson drool* ;)
(Reply to this)(Parent)


narcoticrainbow
2007-09-01 06:06 pm UTC (link)
wow. i love it. so...very...sad...
i'm in the process of writing a reunion (sort of) fic right now. but this one rocks. we need more of these!

(Reply to this)(Thread)


roomeight
2007-09-02 04:43 am UTC (link)
Thank you!

Angsty fics are always my favorite to write. Bumsexxing angst! Still, I think it would be nice to follow this one up with some sort of reunion fic. Even if the news we've heard about them going into the studio again doesn't amount to much...there's still hope! Graham is talking to Damon again, after all.

I don't know. It would be great to see you write one, though. :o :)
(Reply to this)(Parent)


hope_to_last
2007-09-07 11:26 am UTC (link)
Sorry for this huuuge late, but I've been out.

*please Graham, don't go*
Your story is so bloody sad, but at the same time is so sweet! Really nice work, I love it.
(Reply to this)(Thread)


roomeight
2007-09-17 03:38 am UTC (link)
That's okay! ^^ This is late too. Thank you! :D

Oh my. We need more ficcies.

I'm having withdrawals. :(
(Reply to this)(Parent)


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